InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Lifetime Loving You Part 1; Seasons in Owari ❯ The Journey to Owari ( Chapter 10 )

Chapter 10; The Journey to Owari

(Inu-yasha's POV)

Never in my life had I had to make such a decision to take Kagome away from all she knew and loved. I hated it. I hated being the barer of bad news, but it had to be done. If anything, Polaris would know how to help her through this more than I did. She could explain it better that I could.

Kagome arrived on the chosen night. I didn't know if she had told her family good bye, or where she was going for that matter. Maybe she thought it was better if they didn't know what was happening, but Kagome never told me the truth about what transpired between her and her family the last time she saw them.

However, the heart felt goodbyes had not ended.

Kagome had packed two bags of clothing and placed them in Kaede's hut. She began to look over a few things to make sure she had everything ready for traveling before getting ready to say her good byes to Sango, Shippo, and Miroku. I came into the hut just as she began whipping her tears away and sighing heavily.

I didn't know how to comfort her. I was lost in my own confusion. How do you comfort a woman who is holding a child she never wished to have?

I watched for a moment as she went through her things, and I realized she had brought clothing from her time. I came to her side and sat down with my weight on my arms and hands. "You shouldn't have brought those, you know," I said rather harshly.

Kagome closed her eyes and made a slight scowl. "It's all I have left from my time. I'll never be able to go home again."

My harshness disappeared and I watched as Kagome's scowl disappeared as well. I looked at the floor and then back at her. "I'm sorry!"

Kagome picked up her head and looked at me. "For what?"

I didn't know how to answer her. How could I start? If not that then where?

"Kagome," I started, "I can't offer you much. I don't even know what I can do to help you or even the burden you carry. I feel like this was my fault. I should have protected you. I should have known when my gut was telling me something was wrong to stay beside you that night."

Kagome's eyes widened and shook her head. "This isn't your problem. This is mine, and I have to live with it, not you."

My eyes widened and I looked at her. What did she mean by that? It was almost like she didn't want me to blame myself for any of it. She wanted me to over look it and feel no guilt. But, I couldn't help it.

Kagome looked at her things and took out a tiny locket. "I'll bring this with me. My mother gave it to me the night of the dance we went to. It's enough to carry anyway."

I grabbed the hand that held the tiny locket and cupped her hand in mine. I looked straight into her brown eyes and felt my heartbreak. "You've stayed beside me all this time, and all I've given you is pain. Kagome, I won't leave your side. I'm bonded to you."

I took hold of the rosary around my neck and held it out for her to see. "Remember when we met? This rosary is what bound my soul to you. I won't leave your side. I swore to protect you and I will...even your offspring."

Kagome looked at me and shook her head as she pushed herself to her feet. "Don't make such promises to me. I know you won't keep them."

She began to walk away from me and I jumped to my feet and went after her before she made it to the reed door. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back just slightly. "Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away?"

~~~~

(Kagome's POV)

I couldn't tell him! I couldn't tell him that I didn't want this to be his reason to stop protecting Kikyo or caring for her safety. I had nothing to give him. Here I was, Kagome, pregnant with a child that of all things was created by Naraku and Sesshoumaru's body no less.

I wasn't good enough for him. I never had the will to die to be with him, but the will to want to keep him alive. I wanted him to live, but not to live feeling guilt for my state. No, I wasn't worth protecting anymore.

"You have enough on your mind. I'm sure I can find Owari on my own. I'll go alone."

He gasped and gripped my hand and pulled me to him. I looked into his eyes which were filled with pain and anger. "You think this is your problem? Sesshoumaru will never help you care for this child Kagome."

I looked at him almost coldly. "And you would? I can't ask you to do more. You have enough on your mind...enough to protect."

Inu-yasha shook his head. "What more is there?"

I gasped and looked at him as looked to find any sign of warmth in me. I couldn't confess my feelings. Even though everything told me to ask him to stay beside me, I couldn't ask for more. He wasn't mine, he was Kikyo's.

I didn't answer and simply left the hut as I walked out into the night sky. I hugged myself for a moment before lifting my head to find Sango before me with her arms wrapped around something. She smiled and came towards me. She handed me a bundle of clothing. "These were my mothers when she was pregnant with me and Kohaku. I want you to have them during your time in motherhood."

I looked at the clothing. "Robes?"

She smiled and lifted my chin. "We'll be waiting for your return, Kagome." Sango looked as though she might cry and then took me in her arms. "Have faith! You will be in my prayers."

"And in mine!" I lifted my chin off of Sango's shoulder and let her out of my grasp as Miroku walked over to us with Shippo on his shoulder. The tiny fox jumped into my arms sadly and hugged me as tightly as he could. "Let me come with you, Kagome?" he asked me on the verge of tears.

I squeezed him and then gave him to Sango. Miroku looked at me and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Things may seem hard now, but when you return, we will all be here for you."

I smiled and kissed his cheek making him blush just slightly as I made my way out to the hut once more, and found that Inu-yasha was gone. I hid the fact I was heartbroken from myself, and changed into the robes that Sango had given me. The long skirt and sash she gave me were made of a brown cloth and a white under garment with a sleeveless blue kimono to where over my chest. I walked out barefoot, found the earthy ground hard to walk on, but I couldn't wear my shoes anymore.

I walked out in my new attire and began to tie my hair back with a white hair band. I moment later I heard a horse whinny and I turned to my side as my company approached. Kaede joined us in the darkness with her old horse at her side. "Ye old beast still has some strength in him. Ye should be enough to get you to your destination."

I smiled and hugged Kaede. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

She smiled and patted my back. "Remember, child, ye are important to all of us. Even the babe within is of great importance as well. Motherhood is a blessing, no matter what the outcome or who the father is. Naraku did not create the life within ye, but you, child. Never forget that. Ye gave the child life and a real soul. Something Naraku will never be able to do."

I pulled myself away form Kaede and smiled weakly. I looked at everyone one last time, and I had this gut feeling like it was the last time I would see them again. I made my way to the horse's side and mounted the old gray beast. I sat sidesaddle and took hold of the reins as I looked at everyone one last time and secured the bags of food and water on the rump of the horse. A moment later the horse began making his way out of the village. Shippo ran to the end of the path and watched. "Good luck, Kagome," he said with a sniffle and a tear.

I began crying as well as I looked at the road ahead and made my way to the west. I felt so alone and cold and I pulled a blanket over me as I made my way out of Musashi. Still, even the blanket couldn't cure the fact I felt so alone. Tears flowed from my eyes and I sobbed in the darkness.

All I could think about was Inu-yasha, and how much I wanted me to be beside me right now. But, no! No, Kikyo was his first priority, and I was the one who made it that way.

I closed my eyes and felt my heartbreak. I asked to be alone.

Suddenly, the reins in my hands disappeared and I felt the horse jolt just slightly and stop. I opened my eyes and found myself face to face with the one I had been thinking of. Inu-yasha stood with his eyes slightly glaring at me, but he wasn't angry. It was the face he gave me when he wanted to hide his true feelings for something. "You really are a stupid girl."

I looked at him slightly surprised. My heart jumped and looked away to hide my face from him. Inu-yasha took the reins of the horse and pulled the horse along the trail westward. He walked beside it as I tried to hide my pain and joy at the same time.

"Thank you!" I managed to mumble.

"For what?" he asked without taking his eyes off the road.

I closed my eyes and let the tears fall down my face. "For not listening to me."

He smirked a little and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "You've stayed beside me this long. I'm not leaving your side, Kagome. I belong here now. Like you said, I'm not alone anymore."

~~~~

Nothing I've Ever Known by Brian Adams from "Spirit; Stallion of the Cimarron"

Right now I feel - just like a leaf on a breeze

Who knows where it's blowin'

Who knows where it's goin'

I find myself somewhere I - I never thought I'd be

Going 'round in circles

Thinking about you and me

How do I explain it when I don't know what to say?

What do I do now - so much has changed

*

Nothing I have ever known - has made me feel this way

Nothing I have ever seen - has made me want to stay

But here I am - ready for you

I'm torn 'n, I'm fallin' - I hear my home calling

Hey - I've never felt something so strong - oh no

It's like nothing I've ever known