InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Mother For Rin ❯ What's Wrong? ( Chapter 8 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

 
“Mamma.”
 
“Yeah Shippou,” Kagome said to the kitsune youkai pup perched on her shoulder.
 
“Can I talk to Rin some more?” he asked and Kagome smiled.
 
“Mmhmm,” Kagome agreed and took the pup from her shoulder to hold in her arms as she quickened her steps to walk alongside Sesshoumaru.
 
Sesshoumaru peered at Kagome from the corner of his golden eye but made no other move to acknowledge her presence. Rin however seemed delighted that two of her friends were walking beside them. She sat up a bit more from her reclining position in Sesshoumaru's arms and reached out for Shippou who hopped from Kagome's arms to sit in friend's lap.
 
“Hi Shippou!” Rin greeted excitedly.
 
“Hi Rin!” he greeted back with as much enthusiasm.
 
Kagome walked next to Sesshoumaru, keeping his pace and watched the children as they played and talked together. The taiyoukai at her side made no outward sign that he was at all upset to be bearing both children in his arms and in fact if Kagome could hear his thoughts she would've heard his gentle laughter and see his smile, though outwardly his face and eyes were as stoic as ever.
 
Souta, Kagome thought as she looked upon the children in her companion's arms. She remembered her younger brother's smiling face, remembered all the times he would beg Inuyasha and herself to tell him all about the journeys and adventures they had been on. There were so many times that he had begged to come back with her through the well, to see the world as it was here. If I had just brought him back, just once…Kagome thought, maybe he'd still -
 
“Miko,” Sesshoumaru said quietly, the children too wrapped up in their own conversation to note the one taking place between Sesshoumaru and Kagome.
 
Kagome looked up from the ground to look into his golden eyes and was somewhat surprised to see the concern that lay within their sunshine depths.
 
“Why do you grieve?” he asked needing to know why the scent of tears and sadness was so strong on her though she didn't cry.
 
Kagome shook her head and looked away, unwilling to tell even him why she grieved. As long as she didn't say it out loud, then maybe it was just a nightmare. Maybe when their current journey was over and she went back, maybe it wouldn't be true. But if she said it out loud it would be. She just couldn't, not yet, she couldn't let it be real.
 
Try as she might, Kagome was unable to force a smile for the rest of the travel back to the western palace. The air around her was peaceful but it did little to alleviate her inner turmoil. She knew that Inuyasha, as much as he loved her family, had a right to know. But she just couldn't say it, couldn't tell him. He'd lost too much already, and often times when he didn't seem able to talk to her, she'd see him talking to her mother when he didn't think she noticed. How could she tell him that? How could she be the bearer of such bad news?
 
The traveling group reached the palace in short order and soon all were within the stone walls. Sesshoumaru carried the children into the library where they could sit and be together, Kagome following and taking care of them as the others took their seats in the chairs to talk about the youkai.
 
Miroku and Sango offered up what information they had gathered from the villagers who had told them of the youkai and Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha put together a sketch of a plan on how to track down the youkai and lure it out to fight it and obtain the shards it held. Although Kagome listened in while keeping an eye on the children and a close eye on Rin's injuries, she offered no suggestions or comments on the planning.
 
Both Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were doing what they could to keep an eye on Kagome without making it obvious that they were doing so. Sango took Kirara from her arms and let the fire neko youkai hop to the floor asking her to look after the children as she and Kagome took a walk around the palace halls. Not hearing the request made of the neko, Kagome was surprised when Sango came over to her and took her hand, helping her friend to her feet.
 
“Where are we going Sango?” Kagome asked as the taijiya led her from the library.
 
“Just for a walk Kagome,” Sango replied with a smile as the two walked out into the hall and down to one of the large windows.
 
The outer hall windows were large square or arch gaps in the wall that held no barrier between the castle interior and the world outside. One could lean or climb through the window and be on the other side with nothing there to stop them. Kagome leaned her arms on the window sill and let the cool wind blow upon her face. Sango joined her friend, though she leaned her back against the stone wall and studied Kagome's face.
 
“What Sango?” Kagome asked after a few moments of being under friend's scrutiny.
 
“What's wrong Kagome?” Sango asked softly, her face serious; watching Kagome for any indication of what could be bothering her.
 
Kagome forced a smile and looked at her friend, “What makes you think something's wrong Sango?”
 
“Your smiles…they're not true anymore Kagome. You cry in your sleep…and you're so sad. What's wrong?” Sango asked as she watched her friend's forced smile fall and saw her stare return outside the window.
 
Tears pricked behind Kagome's eyes as she stared out at the fall lands, the cool wind barely felt as it caressed her face with its chilly fingers. It was hard to feel much of anything anymore and often times Kagome would force any feeling at all away until she could convince herself that she was fine and that there was nothing wrong.
 
The miko shook her head and blinked back her tears as she watched two birds chase each other through the air. “It's not important.”
 
“Please Kagome,” Sango said her face and voice sad and pleading. “We just want to help you. Please tell me what's wrong.”
 
“I just - I can't Sango. I just can't,” Kagome said and drew away from the window to exit the castle and Sango watched through the window as her friend made her way to a near by garden.
 
Sango sighed sadly and watched Kagome wander into the garden until the flowering bushes engulfed her and then the returned to the library. She shook her head sadly at Miroku and retook her seat beside him. The brothers were deep in their own conversation while they watched the pups and didn't see the exchange.
 
“She won't talk to me Miroku,” Sango said her voice soft. “I don't know what to do.”
 
His violet eyes met hers and he saw the sadness and helplessness in her honey brown depths. Miroku leaned toward her and tucked a lock of Sango's hair that had fallen loose from her low ponytail behind her ear.
 
“I don't know either Sango.”
 
“It is getting late,” Sesshoumaru stated as he turned away from the sleeping pups curled together on the large pillow. “Come I will show you to your rooms.”
 
“Where's Kagome,” Inuyasha asked as he noted her absence.
 
“Out in the garden,” Sango said softly as she lifted the sleeping kitsune in her arms as Sesshoumaru lifted his own sleeping pup in his arms.
 
“I will retrieve her and show her to her room,” Sesshoumaru said and led Sango and the others to their rooms.
 
“Sesshoumaru-sama,” Sango said softly as he put Rin to sleep in her room. “Could Shippou stay with Rin?” she asked when he turned to look at her giving the taijiya his attention.
 
Sesshoumaru nodded once and Sango placed the sleeping child next to Rin and the two moved, seeming to sense the other's presence and curled around each other. Kirara bounded up onto the bed and curled up near Shippou's feet and purred softly as she drifted off to sleep. Sango and Sesshoumaru exited the room, the taiyoukai closing the door quietly as they departed.
 
He led the monk and taijiya to their rooms down the hall, Sango's room on the right side of the hall and Miroku's on the left, their doors in a straight line across from the other. The two bid their farewells for the night and thanked Sesshoumaru for their hospitality.
 
“Come brother,” Sesshoumaru said and led Inuyasha down into the hall near his own room.
 
“Where are we going?” Inuyasha asked as he followed his brother down a hall lined with paintings of the lords and ladies past in their true inu forms.
 
“To your room brother,” Sesshoumaru stated as he stopped in front of a door not to far from his own room and opened it, motioning for his brother to enter.
 
Inuyasha did so hesitantly and his eyes grew wide as he saw paintings of himself as a tiny pup on the walls. There was one of him by himself near the bed, one of his mother cradling him in her arms on the wall left of the bed, and one of his father holding him and smiling next to the painting of him and his mother.
 
No, Inuyasha thought as he backed out of the room shaking his head. Sesshoumaru watched on in worry as his brother's whole demeanor changed and became agitated and panicked. No this can't be - this just can't be right, the hanyou thought as he backed out and turned away running down the hall until he came to opening and bounded out of the palace, his brother following close behind him.
 
That can't be true! Inuyasha thought his mind in a frenzied panicked state. Those paintings, that room…they wanted me? I wasn't a mistake? That can't be true. He thought as tears began to fill his golden eyes. If they wanted me than why was I alone? Why couldn't I come back after mother died? How many nights did I spend alone and afraid and starving because I couldn't hunt well enough to catch anything besides crickets and moths? If I was wanted why didn't someone come for me?
 
Sesshoumaru chased his brother through the darkness, the hanyou bounding faster than his youkai brother could remember as Inuyasha traveled on all fours, a desperate attempt to outrun his thoughts and fears. Thoughts that ate at him tore at him. He could still feel the stones hitting him when he was a child and villagers chased him away.
 
His hands missed their next step on the ground and he slipped, rolling until he was stopped by a large old tree. His side hit against the trunk painfully and he lay there panting as short sharp whines issued from him without his knowledge. Sesshoumaru stopped short as he came upon his brother and couldn't remember a time when the hanyou had been so frightened and panicked out of his mind. Why did his room upset him so? It was the room he'd stayed in as a pup before he and his mother were forced to leave during the uprisings after their father's death. Why did it upset him so now?
 
A sudden thought hit the inuyoukai and his eyes widened; did Inuyasha not remember having stayed in the castle? And if not, then what did he think, what made him so upset? Sesshoumaru stepped closer to his brother and crouched down when he saw that his brother didn't even seem aware of his presence.
 
Sesshoumaru growled low, the sound near a purr though he was inu and not neko. He brushed his brother's bangs out of his eyes and looked upon the frightened hanyou, his golden eyes staring off into a place that none could reach. The taiyoukai could remember holding the tiny pup that was his brother in his arms when he had first been born. He could remember watching over him and playing with him and rocking and sleeping the tiny child to sleep. Though their close bond had abruptly been severed during the uprisings when he and his mother had been forced to leave or stay and die.
 
Over the years of separation Inuyasha had grown to hate Sesshoumaru and the youkai didn't know how to reach him or talk to his brother after that. Fighting with him was the only time he had contact with his brother, and if not for the miko, he doubted he would have this close contact with his brother now. He hated fighting with his brother, but it was the only way that he was able to have contact with him, the only way he had of teaching his brother how to fight, how to defend himself.
 
Sesshoumaru drew closer and lifted Inuyasha easily into his arms. He carried his brother back into the castle and instead of taking the hanyou to his room; Sesshoumaru carried him into his own and laid him down in the middle of the bed. He removed his brother's fire rate haori and hakama, leaving him in his inner kimono and then dressing him in a pair of red silk sleep pants.
 
After tucking the hanyou into the bed coverings he left the room and went in search of Kagome. He found her quickly enough. He walked closer to her, the girl not seeming to notice him as he came upon her sitting beside a star jasmine plant, a small blossom lay in her open palm as silent tears rolled down her cheeks. It was in that moment that the taiyoukai felt more helpless than he could ever remember feeling. Both his brother and the friend he had made in Kagome were upset and troubled and he knew not how to help them.
 
Without a word he scooped the silent miko into his arms, ignoring her startled gasp and carried her into the castle and into his room where Inuyasha lay sleeping. If he couldn't comfort them with words, then perhaps he could by simply being there and having them both there with him as they slept.
 
Setting Kagome on her feet he handed her a red silk sleeping kimono and turned his back as she dressed in silence. Her hand on his shoulder let him know that she was redressed and he took her clothes from her and handed them to a servant outside the room along with his brother's haori and hakama so that the items could be cleaned and returned in the morning. Though if he had his way, Kagome would be wearing an actual kimono and not that indecent bit of skirt and shirt.
 
He watched silently as the girl climbed into the bed, underneath the covers and curled up to Inuyasha, the hanyou's arms wrapping instinctively around Kagome as he buried his face in her hair and Kagome drifted off to sleep in his arms. Sesshoumaru waited until they were both sleeping before leaving the room once again to make one last check on the pups and finding them resting peacefully with Kirara by their side, he returned to his room. Removing his own clothing and placing his Mokomoko-sama along the end of the bed, he donned a pair of blue silk sleep pants and slipped into the bed behind his brother.
 
As he drifted off to sleep, Sesshoumaru's arms wrapped around his brother and he lay nestled against the hanyou's back, his face in his brother's silvery white mane.
 
 
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A.N.: I've had a few questions on this chapter and just let me say this, when I write Sesshoumaru as being OOC, I always explain why. If you miss something as to why he is being OOC, go back and read the part again, pay attention to his thoughts and his feelings.