InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Never-Ending Love ❯ Chapter 8

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the InuYasha characters they belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

‘___’ Thought expressions

“Italic” Whisper expression

The next morning once I’d calmed down; Ayame took me to her home. She wouldn’t let me stay by myself, claiming that a broken heart could lead someone to do something they might deeply regret later and she wasn’t going to risk it. So for the first 3 months of being on my own, I went to live with Ayame instead.

Her house left me in awe when I moved in, it was enormous. I would guess it had about 15 guestrooms and 5 master bedrooms. I got to stay in a master bedroom. It was huge, about the size of 2 guestrooms put together and it had its own bathroom with a tub and walk in closet. The lifestyle in that house was living in the lap of luxury, something I definitely wasn’t accustomed to. It had everything: a study/library, a family room, living room, dining room, kitchen and many bathrooms throughout the entire house. It also had a ballroom hall with the most beautiful grand piano I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately, I couldn’t play it because I never learned how to play the piano. I know its architecture sounds unreal but believe me, I didn’t believe it either when she first described it to me but now that I got to see it with my own eyes, I do.

What I immediately fell in love with though was with the HUGE garden she had in the back. It was amazing with the beautiful statues she’d adorned it with. It was built as a giant maze, there were many ways to get to the fountain in the center. Also, it had some hidden, what I would call “rooms”, throughout the entire maze and the only way to find them was to know exactly what turns to take otherwise it would lead you back to the fountain. There was one “room” in particular that I found where I spent most of my time while I was living there, thinking. It became my hiding spot when I didn’t want to be interrupted or disturbed by anyone, which was most of the time. It was very complicated to get to but very entertaining because you had to walk throughout the maze to get there. But before the entrance to the maze garden, Ayame had set up her patio set where she would sit and relax to enjoy the fresh air. She would have a lot of garden parties with her high-class friends also but I never liked being around them. So what I would do in those cases, I would greet them, not trying to be rude to her guests and then excuse myself to hide in my favorite spot. But eventually all had to come to an end, when I finally decided to leave and live on my own in Hojo’s studio loft.

Ayame kept insisting that I stay since I served as company to her but I had to stop relying on others and learn to live on my own and leaving was the only way I could. I know she was hurt but it was something I just had to do.

After a while, everyone I knew became total strangers to me. I lost all contact with them after I left. The only person I would constantly talk to was Ayame because she always called to check on me. She was the only one I had to be there for me since I had to turn my back on the rest of the world for my mistake. She was the only one that understood how I felt. She also kept reminding me that I had to accept it and go on, even if it hurt to think back and not be able to do anything about it for it was too late.

Kagome almost completely disappeared from the face of this earth since I lost all contact with her. At the beginning, I tried to get in touch with her but she’d changed the house and even her cell phone number so I was left with no way of being able to talk to her. Luckily, Sango called me about 2 weeks after the incident and agreed to keep me up to date with any news about Kagome. They were the only updates I knew about her, even when they were short and quick because Sango had to call me when Kagome wasn’t there. It seemed like she was spending a lot more time around Sango. But it was ok; it didn’t matter to me how long they were as long as I knew, I was satisfied. I still cared about Kagome’s well being even though she never wanted to know anything about me anymore.

Now there was one thing that I quite couldn’t understand though. According to Sango, Sesshomaru remained living in the house afterwards but he and Kagome weren’t dating anymore. It seemed that because since he was struggling to expand his business here, she decided to let him live there so he wouldn’t have to struggle with trying to find a place to live. I was shocked and hurt when I found out but I remembered what she’d told me before he arrived, he wouldn’t have anywhere to go. I’m not sure but I think it was because she still felt something for him that’s why she wanted him there. Obviously Kagome isn’t as generous as she might seem to be, for she chose to kick out her own sister and let her ex-boyfriend continue to live with her. But I didn’t care anymore, things happen for a reason and at that point, I was glad they did.

If I remember correctly, Sesshomaru’s business wasn’t quite up where he wanted it before I left. I remember that there were times when he would get so stressed out that it seemed like he was going to pull out his hair. But I’m never going to forget the way his expression changed immediately when I would offer to help him with his problems. I could tell that by just having me around would be enough to calm him and towards the end, he always asked for my advice on things, like he HAD to know what I thought about something before he made a decision. He was the only one that made me feel that my opinion was important and valued it for what it was. It became some sort of bond between us and it sprouted after he’d gained my trust. It was when we became “friends”, as he liked to call it but I knew that it’d become more than just friendship and I’m sure he knew it as well.

It seemed that his business was still in the process of developing but was already starting to grow very slowly. Many times when I would sit and read the newspaper, I would constantly see small articles in the business section about him and his growing enterprise. My heart would immediately skip a beat every time I saw his picture, for I still loved him but I would immediately change the page because it hurt at the same time.

Now I did have a couple of odd moments after I’d left Ayame’s house. There were times as I was walking down the street that I honestly thought I’d seen Koga or a car that looked exactly like his around where I lived. Sometimes it had me thinking that he might be around but since they weren’t concrete looks mostly just glances; I would set them aside and forget. I never really paid much attention to it since I really wasn’t sure but I did keep an eye out though, just in case.

Nevertheless, I survived the first months of living on my own, they felt like an eternity but I slowly started to get used to it and towards the end, I actually enjoyed the peace and quiet being alone offered. Also, it felt that the wound was slowly beginning to heal and my memories were starting fade with the time, meaning I was finally regaining a life again.

About four months later as I was walking through downtown, I happened to pass by a small newspaper stand as I was walking back to my car from the store and saw something that caught my attention. I immediately stopped and glanced; it was a copy of Entrepreneur Magazine with Sesshomaru on the cover and he was on the front page of every newspaper. To what I quickly read on the cover, it seemed that he’d finally launched the opening of his business, Tenseiga Enterprises. I just turned away and continued walking. When I was waiting to cross the street so I could get to my car, I overheard two businessmen talking amongst each other,

“Did you hear about the new company that just opened up?

I’ve heard of a couple but I doubt they are going to make it. Which one are you talking about?

Oh really? I was talking about Tenseiga actually. I’ve heard that even though its just started it’s already hitting big against the other larger companies. I think they’re trying to partner up with DragonFire Industries. They’re really aiming for the top aren’t they?

Oh, I’ve heard of Tenseiga. It seems like Sesshomaru Kitazawa is in a rush to make it big; well I don’t blame him. It’s hard at the beginning but with the right choices, I think he’ll make it.

I agree. I might consider having a lunch meeting with him soon, I’m sure being tied to Tenseiga could give us a bit of a push.

Absolutely.”

Suddenly the light changed and I started to cross. I didn’t get to hear the rest of their conversation, which most likely the subject was still Sesshomaru. As I kept walking, I kept thinking on how it seemed odd that suddenly everywhere I turned someone or something had to mention Sesshomaru. But those thoughts were beginning to cloud my mind so I pushed them aside and kept walking. Finally arriving to my car, I placed the packages in the trunk and walked in. Once I started the engine, I switched the radio on and started to scan the channels trying to find something to listen to. For some reason it stopped at channel 85.6, which was a business-related channel. I kept it there, as the commercials were playing and started to drive, hoping to hear something about my fathers business. Since I wasn’t very far away from home, it didn’t take me very long to get there. As I was about to shut off the engine, the host began to speak and a feeling came over me, motioning that I should keep it on,

“Thank you for listening to 85.6 KWZ. Where we talk all business, all the time.

This is Bill Levy, thank you for joining us. We have a special guest with us today, please welcome Sesshomaru Kitazawa. Thank you for joining us today Mr. Kitazawa.

Thank you Bill. Thank you for inviting me.

Mr. Kitazawa, could you tell us a bit about your company?

Please, call me Sesshomaru. Of course, Tenseiga Enterprises originated about 5 years ago when my father opened his small business in Japan. It was a small company dealing only with local merchants and small businesses around the area where we lived……”

My eyes immediately closed when I heard Sesshomaru’s voice on the radio. The sound of it alone was enough to bring me chills and goosebumps, just like it’d always done before. I sat there listening to him speak when suddenly, I began to get flashbacks. I imagined all the times when we would chat with all of us involved and when it was only amongst the two of us. Then, the image of THAT day came back to me, hearing him confessing that he’d fallen in love with me and that he wanted to be the one I would open my heart to. Everything was suddenly coming back, all that I’d tried so hard to forget came back with only the sound of his voice. I felt my eyes begin to fill up with tears even though they were closed. When the memory of the day after came into mind, it felt like he was there with me, whispering in my ear that he loved me. That was when I couldn’t hold it anymore. The tears pooled in my eyes began to fall and I couldn’t stop them. I immediately shut off the car and pulled out the key from the starter. I leaned my head on the steering wheel and started to shake it.

Suddenly, I fisted my hand and hit the wheel, “Damn it, why did it have to be now? I was doing so well without him, without anyone. Why did HE have to reappear?” A sob escaped my lips before I lifted my head and took a deep breath, trying to calm all the emotions running through me at the moment. I remained in the car for another 10 minutes until I finally was able to regain control again. I stepped out of the car, got the packages and made my way up to the loft. Before I arrived to the door, I bumped into Lola, the security guard of the building.

She was a sweet lady, always very cheery. Since she was well aware that I was living on my own, she would monitor the floor I lived in much closer. She was a big help too, especially the times when I would leave my keys locked inside.

She turned towards me with a smile, “Hey sweetheart, How you doing?”

Smiling, “Hi Lola, I’m fine, thanks for asking. So I see it’s your turn to do the walk through today?”

Nodding, “Yeah, stupid Brian didn’t want to do it so I had to. Well, you went shopping today didn’t you?” She winked, “What d’you get?”

I looked down at the bags and then back at her, “Oh yeah, I needed some things for the bathroom and kitchen. They’re mostly cleaning supplies though, nothing special.”

“Oh and I thought it was going to be something sexy.” She lowered her voice, “like some naughty lingerie,” then she started to laugh.

Laughing, “NO, Lola. Come on, I wouldn’t buy that for myself. Plus I have no one to show it to anyway.”

Shaking her head, “That doesn’t matter. You never know, you may have a peeper somewhere might as well give’em something for their trouble.” She started to laugh again.

Laughing, “Oh please.”

She giggled; “Well I’ll let you go now and so I can finish the walk. Talk to you later.”

“Ok bye, Lola don’t work too hard.”

By then she’d already walked into the next hall. I walked up to the door, still giggling at Lola’s comments and shook my head before I opened the door, “Silly woman.” Then I stepped inside, shut the door and walked up to the kitchen counter. Setting down the bags, I turned to walk towards the living room. I picked up the remote from the coffee table and turned on the TV, changing the channels until I arrived to the news broadcast. I walked back to the kitchen and increased the volume loud enough so I could hear it from there, then I moved over to start unpacking the things I’d bought. As I was separating the items, I got the same feeling that I’d gotten earlier so I stopped shuffling the bags and paid attention to the TV.

“We’ll now go over to Jane Richardson to give us the latest on the local economy news.

Thank you Diane. It looks like it’s been a pretty hectic month for the local dominating companies with the sudden rise of Tenseiga Enterprises. Current statistics show that companies like MoonArrow and Araki enterprises’ profits have decreased by 3% and Tenseiga has increased by 4%. I’m actually standing right in front of the new Tenseiga building that rises at about 20 stories tall. Here with me is the owner of Tenseiga Enterprises, Sesshomaru Kitazawa. Thank you Mr. Kitazawa for joining us tonight.

You’re welcome. Thank you for having me.

Mr. Kitazawa, how does it feel to be the owner of such an outstanding company that has been so successful in only it’s few weeks of opening?

Definitely proud of the high success rate that Tenseiga has brought upon the local economy. It’s opened up about 10,000 new jobs to the community in an effort to decrease the number of unemployment. In addition, we offer training programs for our new employees that have little or no experience in manufacturing or even in slightly higher positions.

Wow, that sounds great. Definitely will be a big help to the community. Now I have here in my notes that you actually started this business over in Japan, is that right?

Well, I didn’t start it exactly; it was my father, Taisho Kitazawa. I was more like his assistant. But over in Japan, Tenseiga isn’t as big as it is here. Over there it’s more of a small business rather than an enterprise but most likely that is going to change. After seeing the great success we had over in Japan, we decided to try to expand overseas and I was sent here to the U.S. to do it. So I get to run this branch while my father runs the branch in Japan.

Well, we’re almost out of time but I want to ask you one last question that I’m sure all the ladies watching would like to know; are you single or is there already someone special in your life?

He laughed, I’m currently still single. Although, I do have someone special but I’d prefer to keep that on a more personal level…”

I closed my eyes immediately at the sound of his name. The only thoughts running through my mind during the interview were; it couldn’t be, it’s impossible and especially WHY? His sudden reappearance had become more than a coincidence for throughout the entire day it was all I heard, about him. When it came to the last question from the reporter, my eyes widened and my arms fell limp to the sides. I remained still, looking towards the kitchen wall waiting for his answer. Once hearing his response, tears began to fall quickly down my cheeks and my hands fisted tightly while the rest of the interview faded. I closed my eyes, lowered my head and shook it before I finally burst into tears. I leaned on the counter and between clenched teeth I whispered, “It can’t be.” Then out of anger, I picked up the remote, shut off the TV and threw the remote towards the TV but luckily it hit the sofa instead. Slumping to the floor, I sat leaning on the kitchen’s bar-counter with my hands on my face, sobbing uncontrollably into them.

I remember I cried until sundown that day, repeating what he’d said in my head, that he had someone special. It hurt me to think that he’d found someone else when I could’ve had him for myself. I know it sounds selfish but that’s how I felt, I wanted him to be with me and even though I tried to convince myself otherwise, my feelings remained the same. About a couple of weeks after, the media started calling him ‘The Ultimate Bachelor’ and they would link him with many different women. Although, I did hear him once deny them all but I didn’t believe it and it would tear me up inside because I had no way of reassuring that it was the truth. So what I ended having to do was pull myself from the media completely. I wouldn’t watch television nor listen to the radio. I’d also asked the gentleman in my local newsstand to remove the front page and the business section of my newspaper so there wouldn’t be a chance of finding anything talking about him. Thankfully, he did for every time I got my paper they would be gone.

But it seemed that fate had other plans in store for me and was going to go through with them no matter how much I tried to avoid it. I would say about 2 months after I’d pulled myself from the media, I assured myself that there was no way I was going to be reminded of Sesshomaru only if I thought of him myself, which by then I didn’t or tried not to, at least. But fate has a funny way of ruining people’s plans and replacing them with unexpected events, which in my case it caught me entirely by surprise…

One late afternoon, I was relaxing out on the balcony, looking at the view of the sunset shining over the city, drinking tea. The view was absolutely magnificent and the weather was really nice too; the sky was clear and there was a cool breeze blowing. Sitting out on the balcony had become somewhat of a hobby to me; I would love to watch either the sunrise or sunset depending on what time I was available.

I sat there thinking of nothing in particular really, when I was startled to hear the doorbell ring.

Turning towards the door, “That’s odd.”

I stood up from the chair and walked inside, the doorbell ringing again as I walked in. When I entered the kitchen, I looked up at the clock and it said that it was about 7:30pm, ‘Weird, who could it be at this hour? Ayame is busy around this time and no one else comes by to visit, maybe it’s Lola.’

I was two steps away from the door when the doorbell rang for the third time. Raising an eyebrow I called out, “I’m coming, I’m coming, hold on.” Reaching out to the doorknob, I turned it and opened, “What’s the ru….. shhh?” My eyes widened and my jaw dropped when I saw the person in front of me. I immediately recognized who it was even though their back was facing me. I had to literally hold onto the door because my knees suddenly felt weak and I had to swallow before I was able to whisper since all of a sudden, I’d lost my voice, “It’s you.”

The person turned around and a pair of amber eyes lock with mine, “Hello Rin.”

I was left speechless and frozen still where I was standing. I couldn’t believe it, at one point I thought my mind was playing games on me but it felt too real for it to be true. But I HAD to find the strength within me to straighten up and regain the control I’d developed throughout these past months.

So I cleared my throat and pushed the shock aside, “What are you doing here? How did you find me?”

He took a step closer towards me, “I remembered you mentioned that you lived at Hillside Estates before you left so I came looking for you. We need to talk.”

Shaking my head, I started to shut the door; “We have nothing to talk about.”

He extended his arm out and stopped me from shutting it, “Rin wait, at least just listen to me.” He stood in front and lowered his face close to mine; our eyes still locked, “Please.”

“Is everything all right here?” Lola’s voice broke our link and we both turned towards her. She was walking towards us keeping her eyes locked on Sesshomaru.

He straightened up and I fully reopened the door taking a step out to the hall. Then, we looked towards each other again and I looked back towards Lola, nodding while she looked towards me, “Yes, Lola. Everything’s fine, thank you.”

She looked at Sesshomaru and then back at me, “Are you sure?”

I nodded and curled my lips up to a smile, trying to lower her concern, “Yes, it’s ok.”

“Alright then. I’ll be on my way.” She turned around and walked away but kept glancing over her shoulder still keeping an eye on Sesshomaru.

I know that that would’ve been my chance to get rid of him. I could’ve lied to Lola, telling her that it wasn’t ok and let her escort him out of the building but something inside me told me to stick to the truth and at least give him what he asked for, a chance to speak.

Once Lola disappeared, he turned towards me, “Who’s she?”

My smile faded and I turned to walk back inside, “That’s Lola, one of the security guards for this building.” Stopping by the door, I turned towards him once again and nudged my head towards the inside, “Come in.”

He remained still, “Are you sure?”

“Otherwise you can tell me here and hope Lola doesn’t come back.”

He looked towards the hall again then walked inside. I let him enter first then closed the door behind me. Switching the lights on, I turned towards him, seeing him looking around the place. He looked different, very different but in a good way of course. I could tell that he’d become more built than the last time I saw him, making my heart beat faster. Believe me, he looked VERY handsome but I had to stick to my ground and find out what his real reason for showing up was. “So what is it, what did you need to tell me?” keeping my face as stern as possible.

He turned towards me and looked at me for a while before he spoke; “I’ve been searching for you like crazy. This place isn’t as easy to find as I thought it would be. How have you been all these months?”

I walked over to the kitchen and sat on a stool, sternly, “Well, you’re search is over, you found me.” I turned towards the balcony to look outside, the sun had already set and it was beginning to get dark. Not looking at him, “I’ve been doing well actually, living alone isn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

I heard him take a step closer, “You’ve been living here by yourself?” I just nodded, still not looking at him. “Sounds rather lonely don’t you think?”

I turned back towards him, sounding frustrated, “Look Sesshomaru, just cut to the chase will you? Tell me what you wanted to say.”

His eyes slightly widened before he turned and ran his hand through his hair. I heard him whisper “All right,” before he unexpectedly walked right up to me. Placing his arms on each side and leaning on the counter behind me, bringing his face merely inches from mine and looking straight into my eyes, “Rin, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the day you left. I felt like I was going to go crazy if I didn’t find you soon. Lately, I’ve needed you more than you can imagine. Because of your advice and support, I was able to accomplish what I have now.” He lowered his head, “Look, when I first came here my main goal was to open Tenseiga. I felt that if I’d accomplish that, nothing else would’ve mattered because I’d have what I always wanted.” He lifted his head to look back at me, “I was sure that my life would be complete once I had my business running but now that I have Tenseiga, I feel like something’s still missing.”

My eyes widened when he suddenly came up to me and out of instinct I placed my hands on his chest trying to push him back, with no success. I felt that once he got near me, my breaths started to get a lot shorter leaving me nearly breathless as he spoke and the fact that his scent immediately hit my nose didn’t make it any easier either. But when I finally found the strength, I pushed him back and stepped off the stool. I turned and walked away, keeping my back toward him.“I didn’t think you even remembered about of me with all the other girls you’ve been dating.”

“WHAT?” He walked up to me and grabbed hold of my arm, turning me towards him then he lowered his hands down to my elbows, “Rin, those were all rumors. I never dated any of those women. You know how the media is, they always misinterpret things.”

I pulled away from him and nodded, “Uh huh, then what about that ‘special someone’ YOU claimed to have?”

He walked up closer and slid his hands up my arms holding onto my left shoulder, holding my chin in his right hand. He lowered his face, with his voice seductively low; “I was talking about you.”

I reached up, peeled his hand off and took a step back; “I don’t believe you.”

He shook his head, looking at me with a questioning gesture, “Wha… what happened to you? You’ve changed, why?”

I felt anger suddenly rise when he asked that question. As if he didn’t know why I changed, he was ONE of the reasons why I did and he knew it.

I raised an eyebrow and my hands slowly fisted, raising my voice, “WHY? You still have to ask WHY? Sesshomaru, think about it. You know I’ve had a shitty life and you still have the damn nerve to ask me why I’ve changed.”

He shook his head and raised his voice, “But that doesn’t mean you have to lock out everyone else from your life.” Suddenly he started walking towards me again but that time, I kept walking back until I ran into the wall. He placed his arms on each side just above my shoulders, leaning against them while I placed my hands on his chest again, pushing him back. But even with my resistance, he still kept on leaning towards me, lowering his face to mine. His voice was deep and stern, sending chills throughout my entire body, “Look, ok. Fine, then just answer me this; do you still love me? I know you loved me then but after all this time, do you still?” He kept his eyes locked on mine, begging for me to answer.

On the other hand, I remained silent just looking deep into his eyes. I saw worry and fear reflect through them at some point, I guess because I wasn’t responding. But I didn’t have to think about the answer to it because I knew I still loved him. I’ve always have, even though I tried, he was just a hard habit to break. I wanted to scream to the heavens that I loved him but I guess my pride got the best of me and forced me to remain silent.

He leaned on his left arm and pointed towards the door, almost desperately, “Rin, I’m warning you. If you don’t answer me, I’ll walk through that door right now and return to Japan. You’ll never hear from me ever again, is that what you want?”

I swear I heard his voice almost break as he was speaking. My eyes slightly widened, tilting my head to one side, “But what about the things you have here?”

His eyes widened as he yelled, “FUCK what I have here, I’ll leave it all behind.”

My eyes fully widened, shocked, “You would actually leave everything behind, even Tenseiga?”

Nodding, “Yes, I would.”

At that moment, I felt the blood rush to my feet. I swear I almost felt dizzy, thinking that with just one word - just ONE - I could lose him forever. He would actually give up ALL he worked so hard for just because I wouldn’t answer his question. I was left speechless and even if I tried; I wouldn’t be able to speak. I just continued to look at him.

He closed his eyes and lowered his head, shaking it slightly. Then opened them and lifted his head up, that’s when I noticed that his eyes had gotten watery, almost like he was going to cry. Nodding, “Very well then.” He straightened up and looked down at me once more before he turned to walk towards the door.

Just the thought of seeing him walk through the door, knowing I was going to lose him, almost drove me insane. I’d lost everyone else important in my life; I didn’t want to lose him as well. I would definitely lose my mind and the rest of my sanity if I did. I tried to say something but no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t speak. My voice had betrayed me, of all the chances it had, it chose to do it now and it almost brought me to tears.

Whispering lightly, “Sess” I closed my eyes and shook my head. Then I tried to clear my throat, managing to get a bit louder, “NO”, but it still wasn’t loud enough. I kept trying until I was finally able to say something louder,

“Wait.”

I know he heard me because that’s when I saw him stop and turned around. The look he had made the tears that had pooled in eyes to fall. It was as if he’d just lost everything and his entire world had fallen apart, a feeling I knew so well and it was easy for me to recognize it. But I walked up to him, grabbed a hold of his hand and shook my head as if to say no.

He reached up and wiped the tears away with his thumb as he whispered, “Open your heart to me, Rin.”

I opened my mouth to speak but my voice still wasn’t working. So what I did instead, was I took a step closer to him, not releasing the link we had with our eyes. Then I released his hand and raised mine up to cup his cheek, caressing it before I slid it behind and wrapped it around his neck. Finally, I pulled him down and covered his lips with mine.