InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Never-Ending Love ❯ Chapter 16
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: DragonGrl 
Sudden suprises... special reunions... Painful realizations... After what happened, what will happen to Rin when she returns?
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.22.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 7.7K | Visits: 384 | Status: Work In Progress
Sudden suprises... special reunions... Painful realizations... After what happened, what will happen to Rin when she returns?
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Hentai / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.22.2006 | Pages: 4 | Words: 7.7K | Visits: 384 | Status: Work In Progress
BOO!!! ^_^
I'm still alive and kicking. Well, I could never say this enough, sorry for the delay but life sucks right now. Especially more now because i'm being dragged to a vacation that I REALLY don't want to go to. So now i'll be gone for another month ~_~ So please have patience with me ~_^
Well, here's another update, let's say an early Thankgiving present. It gives us another reason to give thanks ^_^ just kidding. Not much to say about it but it's the aftermath of the decisions we make in life.
Although, this chapter is pre-beta'd, I just went over it before I posted it up so I might repost later but it will only be for gramatical changes. So no biggy about that.
Hope you enjoy this chapter and please don't forget to leave me a review k?
Enjoy....
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the InuYasha characters they belong to Rumiko Takahashi.
‘___’ Thought expressions
“Italic” Whisper expressions
The next day, I bought my ticket and flew back to California. I returned to where it all started and hoped that everyone there would still be the same. Throughout the entire flight, my heart raced within my chest for I was extremely nervous. I just didn’t know what to expect, I mean it had been almost a year that I was gone and a lot of things could’ve happened in such a long time. I just didn’t know and wasn’t able to prepare myself for what would happen.
Her place was pretty far away from the airport and it took about an hour and fifteen-minute drive to get there. By the time I arrived, it was already dark and it had started to pour. The problem was that since her house was gated, there was no way for the taxi to drive me all the way up to the front door. So I had to step out of the taxi outside the gate, leaving me with no choice but to walk to the front of the house. It was a pretty long distance from there and I had to find a way to step inside first. Then I remembered of a small door hidden to the side and it was hardly ever locked because of its location. So I walked over to it and luckily, that day it wasn’t. I stepped in and started walking towards the direction of the house. By the time I arrived to the front door, I was completely soaked.
As I was walking, I was able to see the lights on and noticed that her car was parked outside, meaning she was home. Once I reached the house, I walked up to the door and lowered my suitcase. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath as I whispered, “Here goes everything,” before I reached out to the doorbell. Although when I was about to push the button, I hesitated and looked at it, my heart beating at a thousand times per minute. Then I just finally reached out and rang the doorbell. When the maid answered the door, I took in a sharp breath. I’m assuming she didn’t recognize me because she just kept looking at me until she asked, “May I help you?” I don’t think she was able to either because I did have the hood of my sweater on far enough to cover the top part of my face.
I nodded, nervously, “Yes actually, is Mrs. Ishikawa home?”
She nodded, “Yes she is. May I ask who’s inquiring so I could announce you?”
My heartbeat increased as my lips curled up into a smile, “Could you let her know that Rin is here to see her.”
Immediately, her eyes widened and I heard her lightly gasp. Then she nodded, “All right, I’ll announce you, wait here for a moment please.” She was in such a shock that she left the door open as she started walking towards the living room.
Suddenly, I heard Ayame scream, “WHAT?
Then the maid responded, nervously, “Yes, madam. She said her name is Rin, she’s waiting by the door.”
Ayame continued with her voice loud enough for it to echo through the halls. She sounded like she was getting angry, “What kind of sick joke is this?”
“No, madam. I’m not making this up; there’s someone at door claiming to be Rin. I wouldn’t make anything up like that.”
I saw the maid step back towards the entrance to the living room, looking a bit afraid. Ayame was a little scary when she was angry; I don’t blame her for being afraid.
Then I heard Ayame yell at the girl, “Do you think it’s funny to joke around with the memory of the deceased?”
At that point, I could tell Ayame was getting a bit aggressive so I decided to step in and stop her from doing anything rash. So I walked in and called out, “NO, SHE’S NOT MAKING IT UP,” before I walked to stand next to the girl.
I don’t think Ayame saw my face that was still covered with the hood and pointed towards me, furious, “You, what the hell is the meaning of this? What are you doing in my house? Get out before I call security to get you out of here.”
I shook my head and lowered it; “There’s no need to do that, Ayame.”
Then she yelled, “How dare you call me by my name… don’t… you…”
That’s when I started to pull back the hood. My hair was completely soaked and it slipped out of the sweater to hang at my sides, it was much longer now; down almost to my waist. I was dripping water everywhere for all of my clothing was wet. Once the hood fell back, that’s when I lifted my head and looked straight at her.
Her green eyes immediately widened and she gasped. She shook her head, nearly whispering, “No, it can’t be. You’re… You’re dead… You died in that accident…”
I took a step closer to her and slightly shook my head, still looking straight at her, “No, I’m right here, Ayame. Look…” I walked up her and took her hand, lifting it up to my cheek. I continued to look at her, “See, I’m real. I’m not dead.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she began to trace her fingers around my face. I could tell by the look on her face that she still was disbelieving. I kept looking at her, seeing her eyes fill with tears until they started to roll down her cheeks. My eyes filled with tears at the sight of hers and couldn’t hold them back from falling, I didn’t want to either. She ran her fingers slowly down my cheeks and stopped when she reached my chin. That’s when she started to sob as she wrapped her arms around and pulled me in for a tight embrace. She cried into my ear, “OH MY GOD, I can’t believe you’re really here. My darling Rin, I’m so glad you’re all right. I missed you terribly. I always had a feeling that you were ok but since everything pointed that you were dead, I just gave up. I already lost Hojo and losing you too nearly made me go insane.”
I started to cry myself as I wrapped my arms tightly around her. I held her close, I held her with all the love that I always had for her even throughout the time I was gone. Then I turned and nudged my head in her shoulder, sobbing, “I’m so sorry, Ayame. I didn’t mean to hurt you so much. Please forgive me, I love you so much and I missed you a lot.” We held each other as we cried into our shoulders, relief washing through both our bodies, relief at being able to see and hold one another other once again.
I felt her shake her head as she started to pull back. I released her and we looked at each other again, she’d stopped crying by then but still had tears running down her cheeks. She shook her head and her lips curled into a smile, “No dear, you don’t have to apologize. All that matters now is that you’re ok.” Then she reached up and moved my bangs that were sticking to my forehead, “I love you too Rin.” She leaned in and kissed my forehead. Then she lowered and pulled me in for another embrace, “I’m so glad you’re alive, Rin.” She let go and smiled, reaching up to my head, “You’re soaked to the bone, dear. Now why don’t you go take a bath before you get sick and I’ll call the others to let them know you’re here.” She chuckled, “Although, I don’t know if they’ll believe me but I’ll figure a way to bring them all here.”
I nodded and smiled, “All right but…” Then I looked around, “I think I left my suitcase by the door.”
She turned towards the girl, which had tears in her eyes as well. I’m sure she stayed to witness our emotional reunion and got affected as well. Ayame then asked, “Could you bring Rin’s suitcase from outside?” The girl nodded and was just about to walk away before I stopped her.
“Wait, I’ll get it.” Then we both turned towards Ayame, wiping a tear from my cheek; “Then I’ll head upstairs to clean up.”
She smiled, “All right, dear. Go and I’ll wait for you down here.”
I nodded, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” I turned and walked towards the door to pick up my suitcase and headed upstairs to find my room since I’d forgotten where it was. When I finally found it, I walked in and put my stuff on the bed then walked over to take a shower. It felt really good being the fact that I was freezing cold because of the rainwater. The shower felt so good too since I’d gotten used to Yuka’s bathtub where we had to heat up the water from the stove. Modern plumbing was so much easier and better, MUCH better. Finally about half an hour later, I was ready and dressed in my sweatpants, T-shirt and slippers. I quickly ran a brush through my hair and grabbed a towel to use on my still damp hair before I finally stepped out of the room. I kept drying it as I walked down the hall and stairs. I was so into what I was doing that I didn’t notice the different voices coming from the living room. I was turned to the side giving my hair one last pat as I stepped in and when I turned, my eyes widened at the sight of the group of people there just staring at me. Their faces nearly changing colors of the shock at the sight of me standing there. Most of the gang was there except Sesshomaru and Kagome. Sango and Miroku were there, so was Kohaku and Kanna; all of them still dressed in their pajamas.
I was left in shock as well; I didn’t expect them to be there so soon. My mouth slightly opened at the sight of them in front of me and I didn’t realize that I’d dropped the towel. I didn’t know what to do; all I did was slightly smile and whisper, “Hi.”
Sango was the first one to stand and she walked up to me, looking as if she’d seen a ghost. Looking at me, “Rin, is… that you?”
I slightly nodded and smiled, “Yeah, it’s me Sango.”
She whispered, “I can’t believe you’re alive,” before she walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me.
I wrapped my arms around her and nodded, “I missed you.”
When she pulled back, she had tears running down her cheeks. Smiling, “I missed you too.”
I smiled at her and then looked at everyone else, “I missed all you guys.” Then I walked up and hugged everyone else. When we were finally done, I sat on the sofa next to Ayame and looked towards everyone, “How’s Kagome? Is she doing well?”
Ayame then answered, smiling, “She’s doing fine.” Then looked at the clock, “Actually, she should be here by now.”
I looked at her, shocked, “She’s coming here?”
She nodded, “Yes, I just called her and she said she was on her way.”
I looked away from her, “Oh.” I felt extremely nervous; I didn’t know what to expect from her. Being Kagome, it was hard to predict what might happen.
Suddenly I was torn away from my thoughts when Miroku asked, “So what really happened to you Rin? We could’ve sworn you were part of the passenger list on the plane that crashed. You’re supposed to be dead but obviously you’re not. How is that possible?”
I turned towards him and everyone else was obviously very curious to what really happened. Looking down, “Well I…”
Suddenly, a loud thump coming from the hallway interrupted me and we all turned towards that direction. Then Kagome’s voice followed, screaming, “WHERE IS SHE?”
Immediately, I stood and took a step towards the doorway when she suddenly walked in. Her eyes widened and a look of shock swept her face at the sight of me but then it straightened and she walked up to me.
We just kept looking at each other and I was just about to say something when she suddenly lifted her hand and slapped me right across my left cheek, making me bend towards the right side. She yelled angrily, “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?”
Tears immediately pooled in my eyes as I placed my hand on my cheek and slowly turned towards her, “Kagome, I’m sorry.”
She had her hands at her hips and looked at me with rage filled eyes. Then she spoke again, her voice lowering and softening with every word she said, “Where were you?” Her eyes started to fill with tears and I could tell that her voice was starting to break, “Damn it Rin, I was…” That’s when she started to cry, “I was… really worried about you.”
I couldn’t hold back anymore and started to cry again. I walked up to her and wrapped my arms tightly around her, feeling her do the same. I closed my eyes and turned to speak into her ear, “I’m so sorry Kagome. I never meant to cause you all those problems. I never wanted to hurt you, if I could take it all back I would. I’m really very sorry.”
She pulled back and looked at me, lightly sobbing and slightly shaking her head, “No Rin, I’m the one that should be sorry. I never should’ve mistrusted you; I should’ve listened to you all those times you warned me. You were always right but I never listened. I sincerely regret everything I said to you. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me even though I might not deserve it.”
Tears wouldn’t stop running down my cheeks the entire time, especially during Kagome’s confession. I know I probably shouldn’t have forgiven her but I just couldn’t stay mad at her. I mean she’s my sister and the only link I had to my parents. I love her, always have even during the many times she hurt and insulted me. My love for her just didn’t fade and no matter how much time passed, it never would.
I pulled her in for another embrace, tightly holding onto to her as I slightly shook my head, “It’s ok, Kagome. I’m not angry with you, I can never be. You’re my sister; we’ve been through a lot together and that matters more to me than anything else. I love you, slim.”
She tightened her embrace and spoke in my ear, “I love you too Icy.” Then she let go and turned to face me as she wiped some tears away, trying to sound annoyed, “and how many times have I told you NOT to call me that!” I could tell she couldn’t hold back the laughter.
I released her and giggled, “Obviously not enough times.” Then I started to laugh but that’s when I noticed someone standing nearby. I stopped laughing and looked over at the young man standing there. I didn’t say anything to him just looked at him. His facial features were very familiar to me especially the silver hair and the amber eyes that kept looking back at me. He looked a lot like Sesshomaru but there were something’s that differed, assuring me that it wasn’t him. Although this guy had his hair fairly long, it reached to about his shoulders and his bangs were long too, almost covering his eyes.
That’s when Kagome finally introduced me to the stranger standing in front of me. She walked over to his side and wrapped her arm around his, “Rin, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Inuyasha.” Then she turned to him and pointed towards me with her hand, smiling, “Inuyasha, this is my sister Rin.”
He looked down at Kagome then smiled and turned towards me. He stretched his hand out to me, “Nice to meet you Rin.”
I looked down at his hand and hesitated before I finally shook it, “You too…” I kept looking at him curiously, “You… you look so much like Sesshomaru… the hair and especially your eyes…”
He smiled, “Oh that’s because he’s my brother.”
I was shocked; my eyes slightly widened and mouth opened. So that was Sesshomaru’s missing sibling he mentioned once. Shocked, “Wow, you two look almost identical.”
He nodded, “I know, it comes from our father but it does get annoying sometimes. People confuse me for his iciness and it gets on my nerves. That’s why I keep my hair long. ” Then he pointed towards his head.
I started to laugh and shook my head when Miroku interrupted and we turned towards him, “Well, that was quite a reunion there. It felt as if I was watching a live soap opera,” and everybody started to laugh.
Sango started to laugh and lightly pushed him, “Miroku, stop it.”
He shrugged his shoulders, chuckling; “Well it did, what am I supposed to do?”
I started walking back to the sofa and took my seat next to Ayame as Kagome and Inuyasha sat down as well. Then I looked over at him, giggling; “Well I’m pretty sure you’d be the one to recognize soap opera material when you see it.” All of us started to laugh as he his cheeks turned red.
Then he changed the subject, “Ok, well enough about me. You were about to tell us what happened remember?”
I stopped laughing and nodded, “Yeah, you’re right.” I lowered my head a bit and looked down at the floor. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath before I started retelling them everything that happened. I started with what really happened during the incident with Koga and what made me make the decision I did. Then I told them everything from when I left to the airport all the way to the day before when I’d decided to come back. I told them all about what I did throughout the entire 8 months I was gone too, especially about living in the country.
Then Kohaku chuckled, “New York huh? It explains the accent.”
I looked up at him, slightly shocked, “What accent?”
He laughed, “Your accent. It’s not much but it’s obvious to us that we know you.”
Kagome interrupted, “That’s right. That’s what I noticed different about you, your accent. No wonder something seemed different.”
Then Inuyasha asked, “So you lived in a farm all this time?”
I nodded, “Yeah.”
Miroku chuckled and Sango then asked, “How is it living in a farm?” Obviously they were curious. They were always used to living in huge houses surrounded by cars and the city environment so living out in the country seemed odd to them.
I slightly shook my head, “Actually, it’s not that bad. I loved it; it was peaceful and quiet. I’m sure Sesshomaru would love living out there.” Suddenly, I felt everyone start to tense at the sound of his name.
I didn’t want to mention Sesshomaru too soon. I mean yeah, I wanted to see him, wanted to know if he was well but I felt that if I mentioned him too soon, they would all think that he was the only reason I came back. It wasn’t, I came back for everyone but I thought that the time had come to finally mention him.
I looked at everyone as I asked, “So how is Sesshomaru?” Then I looked over at Ayame, “Why isn’t he here?” She looked away from me and slightly lowered her head before she turned to look at everyone. I followed her gaze and noticed everyone just looking at each other with no one answering my question. Confused, “Well, what is it?”
Still no one answered, they just kept looking at each other before Ayame finally broke the silence, “Rin dear, there’s something we need to tell you.”
Her tone of voice scared me. I began to think the worst like if something happened to him. I wasn’t sure but I was definitely concerned and wanted to find out, worried, “Ayame, what is it? Why are you all looking at each other like that? Did something happen to him? Please don’t tell me Koga came back.”
Kagome shook her head, “No, he’s ok. It’s just that…”
I looked at her, “What is it Kagome?”
Then Miroku finally spoke, saying something I would’ve never expected to hear when it came to Sesshomaru. Sternly, “Rin, Sesshomaru is getting married tomorrow. That’s why he isn’t here right now.”
Immediately, my blood rushed down to my feet. My eyes widened and filled with tears as it kicked in. My body became immobile from the shock as I looked at Miroku. I shook my head slightly, whispering as my voice started to break, “No, it can’t be. Tell me it’s not true.”
He slightly nodded, “It’s the truth.”
Tears started to scroll down my cheeks for my heart just burst into pieces that instant. I couldn’t believe it and I didn’t have any words to describe how I felt. I mean, I had wanted him to continue his life and he did as I’d asked. But to be honest, I was hurt even though it was what I’d wanted him to do. It had been my decision to leave and because I did, I lost him. That’s when I started to cry, just thinking that I’d lost him for good. Everything we’d built together was gone but it was my fault for it disappearing in the first place. I leaned down and cried painful sobs onto my hands as the awful truth kept kicking in.
I felt Ayame place her hand on my back and began to run it around in circles trying to calm me, whispering, “It’s going to be ok Rin.”
But nonetheless I kept crying until it finally hit me, ‘You chose this, now you must live up to the consequences of your actions. Deal with it.’ I had chosen this and crying wasn’t going to change anything, nothing was. That’s when I held back my sobs and tried to stop the tears.
Suddenly, Kanna spoke, “Rin, it’s ok. It’s still not too late, you can do something about it.”
Then Sango, “Kanna’s right Rin. You can still stop this wedding. You can…”
That’s when I stopped her and shook my head, looking down at the floor, “NO, I’m not going to stop it.”
I heard them all gasp and Kagome said, “But Rin…”
I continued to shake my head and lifted it to look at them, “I’m not doing it. It was my choice to leave and he’s free to do as he pleases. I’m not going to stop him from…”
Suddenly, Inuyasha cut me off, “…making the biggest mistake of his life.” I looked at him, looking slightly shocked. Then I just couldn’t hold it anymore. I was extremely sensitive and the fact that he looked so much like Sesshomaru made it even worse. So I stood and turned to walk out the living room as I said, “I’m going upstairs, good night.”
All I heard was Kagome call my name before I quickly ran up the stairs and towards my room. Once I was inside, that’s when I started sobbing uncontrollably. I walked over to the bed and rested on my stomach, clutching a pillow as I cried my pain away. Every memory, every picture running through my mind making me cry even harder for I’d lost the one person I loved more than anything in the world. I continued to cry throughout the entire night until I exhausted myself and finally fell asleep. Tears continued to fall even as I dreamt about the one I’d lost because I wanted them to survive in this world.
The next morning I awoke before the sun even rose, I was sitting on the floor and clutched a pillow to my chest. Tears never ceased to fall and they were what kept waking me throughout the night when I’d tried to sleep. The sun finally started to rise announcing the arrival of the new day and it hurt to think of what the new day brought. I was looking blankly at the floor when suddenly; the sunlight came through the window and hit my face. The glare made me close my eyes and I turned to the side. So I stood and closed the curtain, leaving me surrounded in darkness as I sat back on the floor and leaned back on the bed. Honestly, nothing mattered to me and all I wanted was to be alone in the dark, thinking as it kept shattering all the hopes and dreams I ever had. All of a sudden, I heard someone knock at the door. I never answered, just continued to stare at the floor. About a few seconds later, I heard the door open.
Then I heard Ayame’s voice, “Rin?”
I didn’t move an inch from where I sat and just answered, “Leave me alone.”
I heard her take a step towards the inside as she asked, “Are you all right?”
Since she wouldn’t do as I asked, I began to get irritated but I didn’t want to be rude to her so I just closed my eyes and slightly turned my head towards her, “Could you please just… leave me be?”
I heard her sigh and step away, closing the door behind her. When I figured she’d walked away, I burst into tears again. I started to grieve and cursed my life for existing. I also cursed the day when Sesshomaru entered my life and the moment he swept me off my feet. I continued to cry until I had no more tears left. A few hours later, I lifted my head from the pillow and looked at the clock, never realizing it was already about 11am. Then I heard someone open the door without knocking. I nudged my head to the side a bit but still wasn’t able to see whom it was, I didn’t say anything either, just looked back to stare at the floor. That’s when I heard Ayame again but her tone this time was firm, a tone she never used towards me. Sternly, “Rin, I need to speak to you whether you want to or not. I’ll be waiting for you in the living room. Now if you decide not to show up, I WILL send someone to take you down there,” then she turned and closed the door.
I was shocked to hear her use that tone of voice with me; she’d never had in the entire time I’d known her. She talked to me as if I was a mere child but to be honest, now that I think about it, I really was acting like one. So about 5 minutes after she left, I finally stood. My body stiff and aching from sitting on the floor for so long and the fact that I was curled up didn’t help either. So I walked towards the restroom and stepped in, looking at myself in the mirror. My eyes were RED and extremely puffy, my skin a shade lighter than normal with an awkward blush on my cheeks. I looked horrible so I closed my eyes, turned on the water and splashed some on my face. It felt cool against my skin and it washed away all the traces of tears from my cheeks. Once I was done, I grabbed a towel and patted my face dry. Then I turned and walked out of the restroom and out of the room. I kept walking slowly in the direction of the staircase and the living room. Although, it felt that with every step I took, my heart began to freeze as well as my face for it lost every trace of emotion. By the time I arrived to the living room, I was the cold and emotionless Rin I used to be. When I stepped inside, Inuyasha, Kagome and Ayame were there. As I walked in, I spoke to no one just walked over and sat on empty recliner that was across from them and looked at them. Their faces showing much concern and Kagome was the first to speak, “Rin, are you all right?”
I turned towards her and nodded, my voice fairly stern, “Yes.” I saw her almost cringe at the tone of my voice and just remained silent.
Then Inuyasha asked, his voice sounding almost as stern as mine, “Did you think about what you’re going to do?”
I turned over to him and gave him a dirty look, tilting my head slightly to the side, “Are you mocking me?”
Suddenly, Ayame called out, angry, “RIN, stop acting like this! This is not you, act like the young lady you are.”
Then I turned my head away from Inuyasha and looked down at the coffee table, shaking my head, “My mind has been made up, I’m not going to stop it.”
That’s when Inuyasha stood and took a step towards me, sounding irritated, “That’s it! I’ve had enough of this.” He stood in front of me, looking straight at me as he yelled, “Rin, have your little pity party but on your own. I’m not going to join you in feeling sorry for yourself. No one is going to force you to do anything but just in case you change your mind, here.” He pulled out a large white envelope from his coat pocket and placed it on the table before he turned to walk out of the living room.
My eyes widened and locked onto the envelope he’d placed on the table but then Kagome stood and I looked towards her, all she did was slightly shake her head before she stepped out of the living room. I looked away at Ayame and she looked to be a little frustrated as well. She stood and pointed her finger towards the envelope, “That’s where we’ll be if you change your mind.”
I shook my head and looked straight at her, “I’m not going to be there either.”
“Suit yourself,” was all she said before she walked out of the living room, leaving me alone.
I sat back on the chair and crossed my arms as I huffed. I felt angry, mostly at why couldn’t they just accept the fact that I’d let him go? Their constant pushing wasn’t going to make me change my mind; absolutely nothing was going to anymore. I stayed behind as everyone most likely left to Sesshomaru’s reception. Although as I sat in my room alone, I kept staring at the envelope Inuyasha had left behind debating whether I should go or not. I kept thinking if I was going to be able to stand seeing Sess with someone else but at about 6pm, I finally made my decision and stood to walk towards the restroom.
I took a shower and dressed up, wearing the dress he always loved just for old time’s sake. Once I was done, I called for a cab and 10 minutes later; I was on my way over to the Midnight Gardens vineyard. It seemed as if they’d reserved the entire place just for this “special” event because security was asking to see the invitation otherwise you weren’t allowed to go in. Now don’t get me wrong, it was a very beautiful place. The gardens were amazing and the lakes looked spectacular especially under the moonlight. Once I was allowed into the vineyard, there was a short distance that had to be walked in order to reach the actual reception. By that time though, most of the guests were already there, I was the only walking towards the party. I kept walking through the gardens since they’d decided to have it outdoors under the stars. Honestly, I felt jealous, jealous at why it wasn’t - MY - wedding with Sesshomaru not someone else’s. I kept on walking, following the trail of lighted candles until a large lighted tent came into sight. My eyes widened at the sight of it, it was huge and thin enough to see everyone and everything that was inside. When I was about 40 feet away from the door, I stopped and stared, not able to find the strength to actually walk inside. I just didn’t have the guts to; so instead, I turned and walked into a small forest that was almost surrounding the tent, hiding myself from everyone. I started making my way around the tent, looking in at everyone when suddenly, I saw him. There stood Sesshomaru talking to some people and his wife was standing next to him. Silent tears began to fall as I stopped and looked at him; all of them laughing at a comment someone made. I think he must’ve felt my stare and turned in my direction. I took a step back, making sure to hide myself in the trees so he wouldn’t be able to see me standing there. Suddenly, he turned and walked away from the group, leaving his wife with the people he was talking to.
I sighed and lowered my head, relieved that he didn’t see me. I kept starting at the ground for a few moments when I heard something snap near me and I looked to the side, calling out, “Who’s there?”
No one answered and I kept hearing footsteps getting closer to me. When all of a sudden, I caught of glimpse of silver glow through the darkness and my breath got caught in my throat. My heart was beating so hard it could make a hole through my chest. Then a shadow appeared and said, “I thought you said you weren’t coming.”
Immediately, I recognized the voice and snapped out of my shock, “Inu… Inuyasha?”
Finally he came out of the shadows and I was able to see him clearly, nodding, “Yep, it’s me. So, what happened?”
I looked back towards the tent and noticed that Sesshomaru had returned to where he was standing. I leaned back on a tree and kept looking at him, “I changed my mind.” Then I glanced over at Inuyasha, “How did you know I was here?”
Inuyasha walked up and leaned on the tree right next to me. Then he turned to look inside as well, “I saw you lurking in the shadows. So are you going to step inside at least? I’m sure Sesshomaru will want to see you and who knows?” He nudged his head towards the tent, “Maybe he’ll dump her to be with you and he should.”
I shook my head and looked down, “No… I lost him the moment I left. I wanted a chance to live in peace and I got it, now it’s his turn.” Then I lifted my head up, “Plus… he looks happy. I don’t want to ruin it.”
He shook his head; “He’s not. This isn’t what he wanted.”
My eyes widened and I looked towards Inuyasha, curious, “What do you mean ‘it’s not what he wanted?’”
He shook his head and looked at me, “This is an arranged marriage Rin. Sesshomaru being the oldest is required to marry someone chosen by my father. It’s part of our family tradition.”
I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I just looked back at Sess and wondered, slightly shaking my head, “Why didn’t he ever tell me that? Why did he make plans to marry me when he was already betrothed?”
“Because Sesshomaru spoke to father and they came to an arrangement. If father approved of his chosen one then he’d allow Sess to marry who he wanted, if not, they’d stick to the tradition.”
I slightly nodded, “Oh… so that explains why your dad was always so anxious to meet me.”
He nodded, “Yeah, he wanted to get to know you. To see if you had all he wanted for Sesshomaru and to finally meet the girl who was able to steal my brother’s once cold heart.” I looked back at Inuyasha and his lips curled into a smile, “You changed him you know and my father immediately noticed it. Hell, everyone did and for that he was more than glad to let you marry Sess.”
My eyes wanted to fill with tears but I held them back and looked down, nodding, “I know I did, he kept telling me all the time. What I didn’t know was that I’d gained your father’s permission to marry him.”
“Well, you never gave him the chance.”
I looked back up at him, shocked and curious, “What are you talking about?”
He nodded, “He was planning to tell you the last day you two went out but he decided to postpone it since he said that you weren’t feeling well that evening. Then that’s when you left and…”
I looked away from Inuyasha and finished the sentence for him, “… died in the accident.” I looked back towards Sesshomaru; he was dancing with who I’m guessing was his stepmother. I kept trying to hold back the tears that were starting to fall, “But now he thinks I’m dead.”
“Yeah, that’s why he was forced to marry under the tradition.” I lowered my head and closed my eyes, tears flowing freely down my cheeks but I remained silent. I started sobbing silently as Inuyasha placed a hand on my back, running it lightly towards my shoulder as he spoke with his voice as light as a whisper, “Hey don’t cry. It’s ok, you can still do something about it.”
I slightly shook my head as I kept sobbing, my voice low, “No Inuyasha, I can’t. It’s too late now. It may be an arranged marriage but it’s still legitimate. I don’t want to be the reason why a marriage gets broken up even though it’s a loveless relationship. I don’t want something like that on my conscience.”
Suddenly, Inuyasha reached out and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, bringing me in to rest my head on his shoulder. Then he turned towards me, “It’s ok but you still need to let him know that you’re all right.”
I shook my head; “He’d be better off thinking that I’m dead.”
He lowered his head and shook it, “That’s not fair for him though. Something like that can’t be kept a secret for long and he deserves to know the truth don’t you think?” All I did was nod as I kept sobbing. Then he pulled back and looked at me, handing me his handkerchief, “If you want, I can tell him so you won’t have to but I’m sure he’ll want to see you to prove it.”
I took it from him and started wiping some tears from my eyes, “I don’t know but I need to leave, I don’t think I can be here any longer.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll think of something.” Then he stood in front of me; “Do you want me to take you back home?”
I looked at him, “If you don’t mind.”
He shook his head, his lips curled into a smile, “Not at all. I just need to let Kagome know where I’m going. I’ll be right back ok?”
I nodded, “All right, Thanks Inuyasha.”
He just smiled before he turned and I saw him walk into the tent. I couldn’t believe all he’d just confessed to me. Now I felt really bad and more at fault even though I already blamed myself in the first place but this made it even worse. A few moments later, he walked back out and drove me back to Ayame’s house. He really wasn’t a bad guy although he does give the impression like he is one. Inuyasha returned back to the party after dropping me off and I remained alone in the house, cursing myself for leaving and missing the one chance I would’ve had to live the life I always wanted, the one with Sesshomaru. But now it was too late and all I had left was to accept it, learn from the biggest mistake of my life and hope I could move on.
I'm still alive and kicking. Well, I could never say this enough, sorry for the delay but life sucks right now. Especially more now because i'm being dragged to a vacation that I REALLY don't want to go to. So now i'll be gone for another month ~_~ So please have patience with me ~_^
Well, here's another update, let's say an early Thankgiving present. It gives us another reason to give thanks ^_^ just kidding. Not much to say about it but it's the aftermath of the decisions we make in life.
Although, this chapter is pre-beta'd, I just went over it before I posted it up so I might repost later but it will only be for gramatical changes. So no biggy about that.
Hope you enjoy this chapter and please don't forget to leave me a review k?
Enjoy....
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the InuYasha characters they belong to Rumiko Takahashi.
‘___’ Thought expressions
“Italic” Whisper expressions
The next day, I bought my ticket and flew back to California. I returned to where it all started and hoped that everyone there would still be the same. Throughout the entire flight, my heart raced within my chest for I was extremely nervous. I just didn’t know what to expect, I mean it had been almost a year that I was gone and a lot of things could’ve happened in such a long time. I just didn’t know and wasn’t able to prepare myself for what would happen.
~*~*~*~
Once I arrived to the airport, I felt completely out of place. Everything seemed strange to me since I’d gotten so used to living in New York. I arrived at about 8pm because I had to take the later flight; it was the only one available. I looked around the airport a bit, just reminisced about my last visit there before I started walking towards the exit. I walked out and grabbed a taxi, heading to the first place I could remember, Ayame’s house.Her place was pretty far away from the airport and it took about an hour and fifteen-minute drive to get there. By the time I arrived, it was already dark and it had started to pour. The problem was that since her house was gated, there was no way for the taxi to drive me all the way up to the front door. So I had to step out of the taxi outside the gate, leaving me with no choice but to walk to the front of the house. It was a pretty long distance from there and I had to find a way to step inside first. Then I remembered of a small door hidden to the side and it was hardly ever locked because of its location. So I walked over to it and luckily, that day it wasn’t. I stepped in and started walking towards the direction of the house. By the time I arrived to the front door, I was completely soaked.
As I was walking, I was able to see the lights on and noticed that her car was parked outside, meaning she was home. Once I reached the house, I walked up to the door and lowered my suitcase. I closed my eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath as I whispered, “Here goes everything,” before I reached out to the doorbell. Although when I was about to push the button, I hesitated and looked at it, my heart beating at a thousand times per minute. Then I just finally reached out and rang the doorbell. When the maid answered the door, I took in a sharp breath. I’m assuming she didn’t recognize me because she just kept looking at me until she asked, “May I help you?” I don’t think she was able to either because I did have the hood of my sweater on far enough to cover the top part of my face.
I nodded, nervously, “Yes actually, is Mrs. Ishikawa home?”
She nodded, “Yes she is. May I ask who’s inquiring so I could announce you?”
My heartbeat increased as my lips curled up into a smile, “Could you let her know that Rin is here to see her.”
Immediately, her eyes widened and I heard her lightly gasp. Then she nodded, “All right, I’ll announce you, wait here for a moment please.” She was in such a shock that she left the door open as she started walking towards the living room.
Suddenly, I heard Ayame scream, “WHAT?
Then the maid responded, nervously, “Yes, madam. She said her name is Rin, she’s waiting by the door.”
Ayame continued with her voice loud enough for it to echo through the halls. She sounded like she was getting angry, “What kind of sick joke is this?”
“No, madam. I’m not making this up; there’s someone at door claiming to be Rin. I wouldn’t make anything up like that.”
I saw the maid step back towards the entrance to the living room, looking a bit afraid. Ayame was a little scary when she was angry; I don’t blame her for being afraid.
Then I heard Ayame yell at the girl, “Do you think it’s funny to joke around with the memory of the deceased?”
At that point, I could tell Ayame was getting a bit aggressive so I decided to step in and stop her from doing anything rash. So I walked in and called out, “NO, SHE’S NOT MAKING IT UP,” before I walked to stand next to the girl.
I don’t think Ayame saw my face that was still covered with the hood and pointed towards me, furious, “You, what the hell is the meaning of this? What are you doing in my house? Get out before I call security to get you out of here.”
I shook my head and lowered it; “There’s no need to do that, Ayame.”
Then she yelled, “How dare you call me by my name… don’t… you…”
That’s when I started to pull back the hood. My hair was completely soaked and it slipped out of the sweater to hang at my sides, it was much longer now; down almost to my waist. I was dripping water everywhere for all of my clothing was wet. Once the hood fell back, that’s when I lifted my head and looked straight at her.
Her green eyes immediately widened and she gasped. She shook her head, nearly whispering, “No, it can’t be. You’re… You’re dead… You died in that accident…”
I took a step closer to her and slightly shook my head, still looking straight at her, “No, I’m right here, Ayame. Look…” I walked up her and took her hand, lifting it up to my cheek. I continued to look at her, “See, I’m real. I’m not dead.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she began to trace her fingers around my face. I could tell by the look on her face that she still was disbelieving. I kept looking at her, seeing her eyes fill with tears until they started to roll down her cheeks. My eyes filled with tears at the sight of hers and couldn’t hold them back from falling, I didn’t want to either. She ran her fingers slowly down my cheeks and stopped when she reached my chin. That’s when she started to sob as she wrapped her arms around and pulled me in for a tight embrace. She cried into my ear, “OH MY GOD, I can’t believe you’re really here. My darling Rin, I’m so glad you’re all right. I missed you terribly. I always had a feeling that you were ok but since everything pointed that you were dead, I just gave up. I already lost Hojo and losing you too nearly made me go insane.”
I started to cry myself as I wrapped my arms tightly around her. I held her close, I held her with all the love that I always had for her even throughout the time I was gone. Then I turned and nudged my head in her shoulder, sobbing, “I’m so sorry, Ayame. I didn’t mean to hurt you so much. Please forgive me, I love you so much and I missed you a lot.” We held each other as we cried into our shoulders, relief washing through both our bodies, relief at being able to see and hold one another other once again.
I felt her shake her head as she started to pull back. I released her and we looked at each other again, she’d stopped crying by then but still had tears running down her cheeks. She shook her head and her lips curled into a smile, “No dear, you don’t have to apologize. All that matters now is that you’re ok.” Then she reached up and moved my bangs that were sticking to my forehead, “I love you too Rin.” She leaned in and kissed my forehead. Then she lowered and pulled me in for another embrace, “I’m so glad you’re alive, Rin.” She let go and smiled, reaching up to my head, “You’re soaked to the bone, dear. Now why don’t you go take a bath before you get sick and I’ll call the others to let them know you’re here.” She chuckled, “Although, I don’t know if they’ll believe me but I’ll figure a way to bring them all here.”
I nodded and smiled, “All right but…” Then I looked around, “I think I left my suitcase by the door.”
She turned towards the girl, which had tears in her eyes as well. I’m sure she stayed to witness our emotional reunion and got affected as well. Ayame then asked, “Could you bring Rin’s suitcase from outside?” The girl nodded and was just about to walk away before I stopped her.
“Wait, I’ll get it.” Then we both turned towards Ayame, wiping a tear from my cheek; “Then I’ll head upstairs to clean up.”
She smiled, “All right, dear. Go and I’ll wait for you down here.”
I nodded, “Ok, I’ll be right back.” I turned and walked towards the door to pick up my suitcase and headed upstairs to find my room since I’d forgotten where it was. When I finally found it, I walked in and put my stuff on the bed then walked over to take a shower. It felt really good being the fact that I was freezing cold because of the rainwater. The shower felt so good too since I’d gotten used to Yuka’s bathtub where we had to heat up the water from the stove. Modern plumbing was so much easier and better, MUCH better. Finally about half an hour later, I was ready and dressed in my sweatpants, T-shirt and slippers. I quickly ran a brush through my hair and grabbed a towel to use on my still damp hair before I finally stepped out of the room. I kept drying it as I walked down the hall and stairs. I was so into what I was doing that I didn’t notice the different voices coming from the living room. I was turned to the side giving my hair one last pat as I stepped in and when I turned, my eyes widened at the sight of the group of people there just staring at me. Their faces nearly changing colors of the shock at the sight of me standing there. Most of the gang was there except Sesshomaru and Kagome. Sango and Miroku were there, so was Kohaku and Kanna; all of them still dressed in their pajamas.
I was left in shock as well; I didn’t expect them to be there so soon. My mouth slightly opened at the sight of them in front of me and I didn’t realize that I’d dropped the towel. I didn’t know what to do; all I did was slightly smile and whisper, “Hi.”
Sango was the first one to stand and she walked up to me, looking as if she’d seen a ghost. Looking at me, “Rin, is… that you?”
I slightly nodded and smiled, “Yeah, it’s me Sango.”
She whispered, “I can’t believe you’re alive,” before she walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me.
I wrapped my arms around her and nodded, “I missed you.”
When she pulled back, she had tears running down her cheeks. Smiling, “I missed you too.”
I smiled at her and then looked at everyone else, “I missed all you guys.” Then I walked up and hugged everyone else. When we were finally done, I sat on the sofa next to Ayame and looked towards everyone, “How’s Kagome? Is she doing well?”
Ayame then answered, smiling, “She’s doing fine.” Then looked at the clock, “Actually, she should be here by now.”
I looked at her, shocked, “She’s coming here?”
She nodded, “Yes, I just called her and she said she was on her way.”
I looked away from her, “Oh.” I felt extremely nervous; I didn’t know what to expect from her. Being Kagome, it was hard to predict what might happen.
Suddenly I was torn away from my thoughts when Miroku asked, “So what really happened to you Rin? We could’ve sworn you were part of the passenger list on the plane that crashed. You’re supposed to be dead but obviously you’re not. How is that possible?”
I turned towards him and everyone else was obviously very curious to what really happened. Looking down, “Well I…”
Suddenly, a loud thump coming from the hallway interrupted me and we all turned towards that direction. Then Kagome’s voice followed, screaming, “WHERE IS SHE?”
Immediately, I stood and took a step towards the doorway when she suddenly walked in. Her eyes widened and a look of shock swept her face at the sight of me but then it straightened and she walked up to me.
We just kept looking at each other and I was just about to say something when she suddenly lifted her hand and slapped me right across my left cheek, making me bend towards the right side. She yelled angrily, “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?”
Tears immediately pooled in my eyes as I placed my hand on my cheek and slowly turned towards her, “Kagome, I’m sorry.”
She had her hands at her hips and looked at me with rage filled eyes. Then she spoke again, her voice lowering and softening with every word she said, “Where were you?” Her eyes started to fill with tears and I could tell that her voice was starting to break, “Damn it Rin, I was…” That’s when she started to cry, “I was… really worried about you.”
I couldn’t hold back anymore and started to cry again. I walked up to her and wrapped my arms tightly around her, feeling her do the same. I closed my eyes and turned to speak into her ear, “I’m so sorry Kagome. I never meant to cause you all those problems. I never wanted to hurt you, if I could take it all back I would. I’m really very sorry.”
She pulled back and looked at me, lightly sobbing and slightly shaking her head, “No Rin, I’m the one that should be sorry. I never should’ve mistrusted you; I should’ve listened to you all those times you warned me. You were always right but I never listened. I sincerely regret everything I said to you. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me even though I might not deserve it.”
Tears wouldn’t stop running down my cheeks the entire time, especially during Kagome’s confession. I know I probably shouldn’t have forgiven her but I just couldn’t stay mad at her. I mean she’s my sister and the only link I had to my parents. I love her, always have even during the many times she hurt and insulted me. My love for her just didn’t fade and no matter how much time passed, it never would.
I pulled her in for another embrace, tightly holding onto to her as I slightly shook my head, “It’s ok, Kagome. I’m not angry with you, I can never be. You’re my sister; we’ve been through a lot together and that matters more to me than anything else. I love you, slim.”
She tightened her embrace and spoke in my ear, “I love you too Icy.” Then she let go and turned to face me as she wiped some tears away, trying to sound annoyed, “and how many times have I told you NOT to call me that!” I could tell she couldn’t hold back the laughter.
I released her and giggled, “Obviously not enough times.” Then I started to laugh but that’s when I noticed someone standing nearby. I stopped laughing and looked over at the young man standing there. I didn’t say anything to him just looked at him. His facial features were very familiar to me especially the silver hair and the amber eyes that kept looking back at me. He looked a lot like Sesshomaru but there were something’s that differed, assuring me that it wasn’t him. Although this guy had his hair fairly long, it reached to about his shoulders and his bangs were long too, almost covering his eyes.
That’s when Kagome finally introduced me to the stranger standing in front of me. She walked over to his side and wrapped her arm around his, “Rin, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Inuyasha.” Then she turned to him and pointed towards me with her hand, smiling, “Inuyasha, this is my sister Rin.”
He looked down at Kagome then smiled and turned towards me. He stretched his hand out to me, “Nice to meet you Rin.”
I looked down at his hand and hesitated before I finally shook it, “You too…” I kept looking at him curiously, “You… you look so much like Sesshomaru… the hair and especially your eyes…”
He smiled, “Oh that’s because he’s my brother.”
I was shocked; my eyes slightly widened and mouth opened. So that was Sesshomaru’s missing sibling he mentioned once. Shocked, “Wow, you two look almost identical.”
He nodded, “I know, it comes from our father but it does get annoying sometimes. People confuse me for his iciness and it gets on my nerves. That’s why I keep my hair long. ” Then he pointed towards his head.
I started to laugh and shook my head when Miroku interrupted and we turned towards him, “Well, that was quite a reunion there. It felt as if I was watching a live soap opera,” and everybody started to laugh.
Sango started to laugh and lightly pushed him, “Miroku, stop it.”
He shrugged his shoulders, chuckling; “Well it did, what am I supposed to do?”
I started walking back to the sofa and took my seat next to Ayame as Kagome and Inuyasha sat down as well. Then I looked over at him, giggling; “Well I’m pretty sure you’d be the one to recognize soap opera material when you see it.” All of us started to laugh as he his cheeks turned red.
Then he changed the subject, “Ok, well enough about me. You were about to tell us what happened remember?”
I stopped laughing and nodded, “Yeah, you’re right.” I lowered my head a bit and looked down at the floor. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath before I started retelling them everything that happened. I started with what really happened during the incident with Koga and what made me make the decision I did. Then I told them everything from when I left to the airport all the way to the day before when I’d decided to come back. I told them all about what I did throughout the entire 8 months I was gone too, especially about living in the country.
Then Kohaku chuckled, “New York huh? It explains the accent.”
I looked up at him, slightly shocked, “What accent?”
He laughed, “Your accent. It’s not much but it’s obvious to us that we know you.”
Kagome interrupted, “That’s right. That’s what I noticed different about you, your accent. No wonder something seemed different.”
Then Inuyasha asked, “So you lived in a farm all this time?”
I nodded, “Yeah.”
Miroku chuckled and Sango then asked, “How is it living in a farm?” Obviously they were curious. They were always used to living in huge houses surrounded by cars and the city environment so living out in the country seemed odd to them.
I slightly shook my head, “Actually, it’s not that bad. I loved it; it was peaceful and quiet. I’m sure Sesshomaru would love living out there.” Suddenly, I felt everyone start to tense at the sound of his name.
I didn’t want to mention Sesshomaru too soon. I mean yeah, I wanted to see him, wanted to know if he was well but I felt that if I mentioned him too soon, they would all think that he was the only reason I came back. It wasn’t, I came back for everyone but I thought that the time had come to finally mention him.
I looked at everyone as I asked, “So how is Sesshomaru?” Then I looked over at Ayame, “Why isn’t he here?” She looked away from me and slightly lowered her head before she turned to look at everyone. I followed her gaze and noticed everyone just looking at each other with no one answering my question. Confused, “Well, what is it?”
Still no one answered, they just kept looking at each other before Ayame finally broke the silence, “Rin dear, there’s something we need to tell you.”
Her tone of voice scared me. I began to think the worst like if something happened to him. I wasn’t sure but I was definitely concerned and wanted to find out, worried, “Ayame, what is it? Why are you all looking at each other like that? Did something happen to him? Please don’t tell me Koga came back.”
Kagome shook her head, “No, he’s ok. It’s just that…”
I looked at her, “What is it Kagome?”
Then Miroku finally spoke, saying something I would’ve never expected to hear when it came to Sesshomaru. Sternly, “Rin, Sesshomaru is getting married tomorrow. That’s why he isn’t here right now.”
Immediately, my blood rushed down to my feet. My eyes widened and filled with tears as it kicked in. My body became immobile from the shock as I looked at Miroku. I shook my head slightly, whispering as my voice started to break, “No, it can’t be. Tell me it’s not true.”
He slightly nodded, “It’s the truth.”
Tears started to scroll down my cheeks for my heart just burst into pieces that instant. I couldn’t believe it and I didn’t have any words to describe how I felt. I mean, I had wanted him to continue his life and he did as I’d asked. But to be honest, I was hurt even though it was what I’d wanted him to do. It had been my decision to leave and because I did, I lost him. That’s when I started to cry, just thinking that I’d lost him for good. Everything we’d built together was gone but it was my fault for it disappearing in the first place. I leaned down and cried painful sobs onto my hands as the awful truth kept kicking in.
I felt Ayame place her hand on my back and began to run it around in circles trying to calm me, whispering, “It’s going to be ok Rin.”
But nonetheless I kept crying until it finally hit me, ‘You chose this, now you must live up to the consequences of your actions. Deal with it.’ I had chosen this and crying wasn’t going to change anything, nothing was. That’s when I held back my sobs and tried to stop the tears.
Suddenly, Kanna spoke, “Rin, it’s ok. It’s still not too late, you can do something about it.”
Then Sango, “Kanna’s right Rin. You can still stop this wedding. You can…”
That’s when I stopped her and shook my head, looking down at the floor, “NO, I’m not going to stop it.”
I heard them all gasp and Kagome said, “But Rin…”
I continued to shake my head and lifted it to look at them, “I’m not doing it. It was my choice to leave and he’s free to do as he pleases. I’m not going to stop him from…”
Suddenly, Inuyasha cut me off, “…making the biggest mistake of his life.” I looked at him, looking slightly shocked. Then I just couldn’t hold it anymore. I was extremely sensitive and the fact that he looked so much like Sesshomaru made it even worse. So I stood and turned to walk out the living room as I said, “I’m going upstairs, good night.”
All I heard was Kagome call my name before I quickly ran up the stairs and towards my room. Once I was inside, that’s when I started sobbing uncontrollably. I walked over to the bed and rested on my stomach, clutching a pillow as I cried my pain away. Every memory, every picture running through my mind making me cry even harder for I’d lost the one person I loved more than anything in the world. I continued to cry throughout the entire night until I exhausted myself and finally fell asleep. Tears continued to fall even as I dreamt about the one I’d lost because I wanted them to survive in this world.
~*~*~*~
I was completely heartbroken when I heard the news about Sesshomaru getting married. I just couldn’t picture him getting married with someone else but me, he was my one and only. Now he’d become someone else’s one and only but what hurt the most was that he’d found his new love so quickly and decided to get married when we’d planned to wait. But all that didn’t matter anymore; he wasn’t mine anymore and I wasn’t in a place to have a say in it either. It was his life and he was more than capable of making decisions for himself and if that was one of them, then for the love I still had for him, I’d accept it just as long as it was for him to be happy. All I could do was to wish him well with his new love and hope that she would give him what I never did, the family he always wanted.The next morning I awoke before the sun even rose, I was sitting on the floor and clutched a pillow to my chest. Tears never ceased to fall and they were what kept waking me throughout the night when I’d tried to sleep. The sun finally started to rise announcing the arrival of the new day and it hurt to think of what the new day brought. I was looking blankly at the floor when suddenly; the sunlight came through the window and hit my face. The glare made me close my eyes and I turned to the side. So I stood and closed the curtain, leaving me surrounded in darkness as I sat back on the floor and leaned back on the bed. Honestly, nothing mattered to me and all I wanted was to be alone in the dark, thinking as it kept shattering all the hopes and dreams I ever had. All of a sudden, I heard someone knock at the door. I never answered, just continued to stare at the floor. About a few seconds later, I heard the door open.
Then I heard Ayame’s voice, “Rin?”
I didn’t move an inch from where I sat and just answered, “Leave me alone.”
I heard her take a step towards the inside as she asked, “Are you all right?”
Since she wouldn’t do as I asked, I began to get irritated but I didn’t want to be rude to her so I just closed my eyes and slightly turned my head towards her, “Could you please just… leave me be?”
I heard her sigh and step away, closing the door behind her. When I figured she’d walked away, I burst into tears again. I started to grieve and cursed my life for existing. I also cursed the day when Sesshomaru entered my life and the moment he swept me off my feet. I continued to cry until I had no more tears left. A few hours later, I lifted my head from the pillow and looked at the clock, never realizing it was already about 11am. Then I heard someone open the door without knocking. I nudged my head to the side a bit but still wasn’t able to see whom it was, I didn’t say anything either, just looked back to stare at the floor. That’s when I heard Ayame again but her tone this time was firm, a tone she never used towards me. Sternly, “Rin, I need to speak to you whether you want to or not. I’ll be waiting for you in the living room. Now if you decide not to show up, I WILL send someone to take you down there,” then she turned and closed the door.
I was shocked to hear her use that tone of voice with me; she’d never had in the entire time I’d known her. She talked to me as if I was a mere child but to be honest, now that I think about it, I really was acting like one. So about 5 minutes after she left, I finally stood. My body stiff and aching from sitting on the floor for so long and the fact that I was curled up didn’t help either. So I walked towards the restroom and stepped in, looking at myself in the mirror. My eyes were RED and extremely puffy, my skin a shade lighter than normal with an awkward blush on my cheeks. I looked horrible so I closed my eyes, turned on the water and splashed some on my face. It felt cool against my skin and it washed away all the traces of tears from my cheeks. Once I was done, I grabbed a towel and patted my face dry. Then I turned and walked out of the restroom and out of the room. I kept walking slowly in the direction of the staircase and the living room. Although, it felt that with every step I took, my heart began to freeze as well as my face for it lost every trace of emotion. By the time I arrived to the living room, I was the cold and emotionless Rin I used to be. When I stepped inside, Inuyasha, Kagome and Ayame were there. As I walked in, I spoke to no one just walked over and sat on empty recliner that was across from them and looked at them. Their faces showing much concern and Kagome was the first to speak, “Rin, are you all right?”
I turned towards her and nodded, my voice fairly stern, “Yes.” I saw her almost cringe at the tone of my voice and just remained silent.
Then Inuyasha asked, his voice sounding almost as stern as mine, “Did you think about what you’re going to do?”
I turned over to him and gave him a dirty look, tilting my head slightly to the side, “Are you mocking me?”
Suddenly, Ayame called out, angry, “RIN, stop acting like this! This is not you, act like the young lady you are.”
Then I turned my head away from Inuyasha and looked down at the coffee table, shaking my head, “My mind has been made up, I’m not going to stop it.”
That’s when Inuyasha stood and took a step towards me, sounding irritated, “That’s it! I’ve had enough of this.” He stood in front of me, looking straight at me as he yelled, “Rin, have your little pity party but on your own. I’m not going to join you in feeling sorry for yourself. No one is going to force you to do anything but just in case you change your mind, here.” He pulled out a large white envelope from his coat pocket and placed it on the table before he turned to walk out of the living room.
My eyes widened and locked onto the envelope he’d placed on the table but then Kagome stood and I looked towards her, all she did was slightly shake her head before she stepped out of the living room. I looked away at Ayame and she looked to be a little frustrated as well. She stood and pointed her finger towards the envelope, “That’s where we’ll be if you change your mind.”
I shook my head and looked straight at her, “I’m not going to be there either.”
“Suit yourself,” was all she said before she walked out of the living room, leaving me alone.
I sat back on the chair and crossed my arms as I huffed. I felt angry, mostly at why couldn’t they just accept the fact that I’d let him go? Their constant pushing wasn’t going to make me change my mind; absolutely nothing was going to anymore. I stayed behind as everyone most likely left to Sesshomaru’s reception. Although as I sat in my room alone, I kept staring at the envelope Inuyasha had left behind debating whether I should go or not. I kept thinking if I was going to be able to stand seeing Sess with someone else but at about 6pm, I finally made my decision and stood to walk towards the restroom.
I took a shower and dressed up, wearing the dress he always loved just for old time’s sake. Once I was done, I called for a cab and 10 minutes later; I was on my way over to the Midnight Gardens vineyard. It seemed as if they’d reserved the entire place just for this “special” event because security was asking to see the invitation otherwise you weren’t allowed to go in. Now don’t get me wrong, it was a very beautiful place. The gardens were amazing and the lakes looked spectacular especially under the moonlight. Once I was allowed into the vineyard, there was a short distance that had to be walked in order to reach the actual reception. By that time though, most of the guests were already there, I was the only walking towards the party. I kept walking through the gardens since they’d decided to have it outdoors under the stars. Honestly, I felt jealous, jealous at why it wasn’t - MY - wedding with Sesshomaru not someone else’s. I kept on walking, following the trail of lighted candles until a large lighted tent came into sight. My eyes widened at the sight of it, it was huge and thin enough to see everyone and everything that was inside. When I was about 40 feet away from the door, I stopped and stared, not able to find the strength to actually walk inside. I just didn’t have the guts to; so instead, I turned and walked into a small forest that was almost surrounding the tent, hiding myself from everyone. I started making my way around the tent, looking in at everyone when suddenly, I saw him. There stood Sesshomaru talking to some people and his wife was standing next to him. Silent tears began to fall as I stopped and looked at him; all of them laughing at a comment someone made. I think he must’ve felt my stare and turned in my direction. I took a step back, making sure to hide myself in the trees so he wouldn’t be able to see me standing there. Suddenly, he turned and walked away from the group, leaving his wife with the people he was talking to.
I sighed and lowered my head, relieved that he didn’t see me. I kept starting at the ground for a few moments when I heard something snap near me and I looked to the side, calling out, “Who’s there?”
No one answered and I kept hearing footsteps getting closer to me. When all of a sudden, I caught of glimpse of silver glow through the darkness and my breath got caught in my throat. My heart was beating so hard it could make a hole through my chest. Then a shadow appeared and said, “I thought you said you weren’t coming.”
Immediately, I recognized the voice and snapped out of my shock, “Inu… Inuyasha?”
Finally he came out of the shadows and I was able to see him clearly, nodding, “Yep, it’s me. So, what happened?”
I looked back towards the tent and noticed that Sesshomaru had returned to where he was standing. I leaned back on a tree and kept looking at him, “I changed my mind.” Then I glanced over at Inuyasha, “How did you know I was here?”
Inuyasha walked up and leaned on the tree right next to me. Then he turned to look inside as well, “I saw you lurking in the shadows. So are you going to step inside at least? I’m sure Sesshomaru will want to see you and who knows?” He nudged his head towards the tent, “Maybe he’ll dump her to be with you and he should.”
I shook my head and looked down, “No… I lost him the moment I left. I wanted a chance to live in peace and I got it, now it’s his turn.” Then I lifted my head up, “Plus… he looks happy. I don’t want to ruin it.”
He shook his head; “He’s not. This isn’t what he wanted.”
My eyes widened and I looked towards Inuyasha, curious, “What do you mean ‘it’s not what he wanted?’”
He shook his head and looked at me, “This is an arranged marriage Rin. Sesshomaru being the oldest is required to marry someone chosen by my father. It’s part of our family tradition.”
I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I just looked back at Sess and wondered, slightly shaking my head, “Why didn’t he ever tell me that? Why did he make plans to marry me when he was already betrothed?”
“Because Sesshomaru spoke to father and they came to an arrangement. If father approved of his chosen one then he’d allow Sess to marry who he wanted, if not, they’d stick to the tradition.”
I slightly nodded, “Oh… so that explains why your dad was always so anxious to meet me.”
He nodded, “Yeah, he wanted to get to know you. To see if you had all he wanted for Sesshomaru and to finally meet the girl who was able to steal my brother’s once cold heart.” I looked back at Inuyasha and his lips curled into a smile, “You changed him you know and my father immediately noticed it. Hell, everyone did and for that he was more than glad to let you marry Sess.”
My eyes wanted to fill with tears but I held them back and looked down, nodding, “I know I did, he kept telling me all the time. What I didn’t know was that I’d gained your father’s permission to marry him.”
“Well, you never gave him the chance.”
I looked back up at him, shocked and curious, “What are you talking about?”
He nodded, “He was planning to tell you the last day you two went out but he decided to postpone it since he said that you weren’t feeling well that evening. Then that’s when you left and…”
I looked away from Inuyasha and finished the sentence for him, “… died in the accident.” I looked back towards Sesshomaru; he was dancing with who I’m guessing was his stepmother. I kept trying to hold back the tears that were starting to fall, “But now he thinks I’m dead.”
“Yeah, that’s why he was forced to marry under the tradition.” I lowered my head and closed my eyes, tears flowing freely down my cheeks but I remained silent. I started sobbing silently as Inuyasha placed a hand on my back, running it lightly towards my shoulder as he spoke with his voice as light as a whisper, “Hey don’t cry. It’s ok, you can still do something about it.”
I slightly shook my head as I kept sobbing, my voice low, “No Inuyasha, I can’t. It’s too late now. It may be an arranged marriage but it’s still legitimate. I don’t want to be the reason why a marriage gets broken up even though it’s a loveless relationship. I don’t want something like that on my conscience.”
Suddenly, Inuyasha reached out and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, bringing me in to rest my head on his shoulder. Then he turned towards me, “It’s ok but you still need to let him know that you’re all right.”
I shook my head; “He’d be better off thinking that I’m dead.”
He lowered his head and shook it, “That’s not fair for him though. Something like that can’t be kept a secret for long and he deserves to know the truth don’t you think?” All I did was nod as I kept sobbing. Then he pulled back and looked at me, handing me his handkerchief, “If you want, I can tell him so you won’t have to but I’m sure he’ll want to see you to prove it.”
I took it from him and started wiping some tears from my eyes, “I don’t know but I need to leave, I don’t think I can be here any longer.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll think of something.” Then he stood in front of me; “Do you want me to take you back home?”
I looked at him, “If you don’t mind.”
He shook his head, his lips curled into a smile, “Not at all. I just need to let Kagome know where I’m going. I’ll be right back ok?”
I nodded, “All right, Thanks Inuyasha.”
He just smiled before he turned and I saw him walk into the tent. I couldn’t believe all he’d just confessed to me. Now I felt really bad and more at fault even though I already blamed myself in the first place but this made it even worse. A few moments later, he walked back out and drove me back to Ayame’s house. He really wasn’t a bad guy although he does give the impression like he is one. Inuyasha returned back to the party after dropping me off and I remained alone in the house, cursing myself for leaving and missing the one chance I would’ve had to live the life I always wanted, the one with Sesshomaru. But now it was too late and all I had left was to accept it, learn from the biggest mistake of my life and hope I could move on.
~*~*~*~