InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A new beginning, a new hope ❯ Love/hate, Hitch/Ditch (Part 2) ( Chapter 19 )

It only took a couple of minutes before Rin awoke. She opened her eyes and what greeted her weren't the dazzling spot lights of the concert lounge. It was stars, a whole night sky filled with those ancient twinkling lights. Amongst them was also a pair of bright golden eyes peering down at her. Rin jumped up with a start! She struggled free from the demon lord, got up from the bench she was lying on and backed off a few steps away, just enough to give him a more thorough examination. Sesshoumaru was taken aback by this sudden reaction from the girl and all he did was to let her go while assisting her to stand.

 

They regarded each other in silence.

 

Sesshoumaru couldn't help but wonder if Rin actually did recall the past. Her eyes, they looked kind of lost and dazed.

 

He decided he'd rather not speak but to give her more time to adjust to this drastic transformation.

 

It's him! Shaking her head, Rin took only three seconds to straighten her thoughts.

 

No, she corrected. It's Sesshoumaru. It's Sesshoumaru-sama! But…. he looks so different.

 

Rin's brains were still intermittently reshuffling and reformatting the magnitude of information she just regained and it ought to take a little while longer before she got all the facts right. At this moment, she just wanted to ask some questions, to confirm some of the suspicions bugging her.

 

“All those nights ago…” Her words were soft, her tone strangled. “It was really you, wasn't it?”

 

Sesshoumaru shifted his gaze from the girl, directing it to the ground. He nodded.

 

Rin felt a little choked upon that affirmation.

 

“And last night,” Her voice now trembled as she spoke. “It was you too.”

 

This time, she didn't even attempt to phrase it as a question. She didn't have to. It was all so clear now.

 

The youkai's brows flicked up as he matched her eyes again. He was trying to observe her reaction, to guess if she could be mad with him. However, he could make out nothing. Still, no matter what, he knew he had to tell the truth. How could he lie to someone who potentially would one day, in the near future, become his wife?

 

“Yes.” Even as he answered, he was gauging her expression somewhat worriedly.

 

There was silence.

 

For a second there, Sesshoumaru felt his vision before him blur a little.

 

Rin was running toward him. He was half expecting a slap but to his pleasant surprise, the girl instead stretched out her arms and embraced him round his waist.

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama…” Rin's voice was too gently, too shy. “Next time, wake me up first.”

 

The demon lord's heart took a sprint and he hugged her so tightly as if he'd never let her go again. At last, everything was finally back to normal.

 

It's all so blissful, so perfect.

 

All of a sudden, his vision cleared and Sesshoumaru discovered to his utter disappointment that it was just a fragment of his own fanciful too-optimistic imagination.

 

In actual fact, Rin had turned her back and walked a few more paces away, standing next to the railing and looking toward the magnificent sea view behind them. The concert hall was standing at the mouth of the harbor and encompassing all the brightly lit lighting of the buildings around them, the ships and the walkway street lamps, it created a rather picturesque and romantic effect on this winter's night.

 

While trying to sequence all the details and matching the facts with the demon lord's answers, Rin felt an immense conflicting mix of joy, hurt, pride, pain and… yes, and ANGER.

 

She was angry with him, mainly for last night.

 

One look at her master now and her own form and she just had to admit this. So much had changed and everything's so different, so warped, the place where they're standing now, this new age, the people round them and even themselves. It felt all so familiar and yet so strange and foreign. It was as if they had been reborn in another century, lovers from their past lives meeting and finding each other again in a modernistic time and space. A whole century had past them by, actually five to be exact.

 

A mild December breeze brought back to her a painful bad memory. Indeed, lots had transfigured but some things, one thing, the most significant one that affected her entire life, that did not alter a bit. She was still herself, a human and Sesshoumaru was still himself, a demon. And even as they were just a couple of metres away from each other, there seemed to be an invisible and uncrossable span between them.

 

She'd be really quite happy if they'd really been reborn both as humans, even as demons or half demons. In any case, they would probably have a better chance to live happily ever after than now.

 

She let out a resigned and dispirited sigh and Sesshoumaru caught it immediately.

 

What could she be thinking about right now? He wondered, didn't know whether to be agitated or hopeful.

 

From his present outward appearance, her master looked so contemporary, so chic and classy. If she hadn't remembered him, she would probably take him for any normal human being. But his ambitions, aspirations, pride and heritage, those were still unreservedly a crucial part of him, of who he was. He couldn't change that and she wouldn't want him to anyway. That was the Sesshoumaru she fell in love with.

 

But if he didn't care about her, then he wouldn't be here looking her and seeking fervently to help her reown her past. It must have been tough even for someone as powerful as he. Well, it took him five years to get to her. Imagine that, five long years! He could have taken other demoness easily.

 

For that moment, Rin was truly touched.

 

Her mood then shifted to a darker and more uncontrolled fury.

 

Maybe, he didn't come because he cared. Maybe, he came to seek her to show her his dominance over her life, over her heart and… and over her body. Yes! That was exactly why he had taken her last night, totally disregarding her feelings. Lust! He merely lusted for her. Period. He never changed bit, still always taking whatever he wished as though everything in the world was rightfully his.

 

Rin self consciously wrapped her arms around herself as her heart softened a little.

 

She knew fully well that she wouldn't reject him if he'd really asked but… but it just isn't the same thing, is it? She felt a growing surge of girlish pride.

 

On the other hand, Sesshoumaru decided to make his move. The girl was obviously confused and probably, he could show her a little more care and concern. Moreover, the night had become noticeably cold and chilly.

 

“Rin, are you feeling better?” Sesshoumaru whispered in the tenderest tone he could as he placed his jacket on her.

 

There was no response. Rin was too numbed after her emotional battle.

 

“You… you remembered everything?” He wanted so much to confirm that part.

 

Rin nodded and looked up at him for the first time after such a long wait.

 

“Yes,” she assured him. “Though it's kind of messy but…” Then she turned away from him again. “Yes, I remember.”

 

He got his answer and yet now, Sesshoumaru once again felt tongue tied. But he knew that he had to continue this conversation now that he had started it. At least then, there would be some progress.

 

“I know I shouldn't have but… Are you still unhappy?” He began, sounding rather penitent.

 

Rin studied his eyes, waiting for him to complete his statement.

 

“Are you still unhappy that I left you to seek Kagura?”

 

Oh, the girl mused, somewhat displeased. He was apologizing for THAT time.

 

Rin shook her head truthfully. That wasn't what she was mad about.

 

With that, Sesshoumaru took a deep audible breath.

 

“I have thought a lot of us,” He spoke and at the same time brought the girl by her shoulders closer to face him. Rin did not reject that. She wanted to hear what else her master had to say. Moreover, after such a long period of separation, she kind of missed hearing his voice.

 

“You have?” She was surprised. She wasn't expecting that. But she regained her composure instantly, trying not to sound too eager.

 

“I have reached an answer; I mean, for us, our future.” He was getting jittery, Rin noted.

 

That seemed rather unlike the Sesshoumaru-sama that she knew. All these years traveling by his side, he had never once appeared so … nervous?

 

Sesshoumaru was fighting an enormous internal battle while trying to still keep as cool and dignified as he could. He could almost sense a drop of perspiration dripping down his forehead.

 

Just say it, Damn it! He snapped at himself inwardly. Surely, it can't be that hard.

 

“Rin,” He finally managed one miserable word.

 

Okay, that first one's easy. So, what's next, I love you? He decided it wasn't the right moment still.

 

Quick! She's waiting. Another inner voice scolded him. Sesshoumaru heaved a silent sigh. He would pay any price for someone else to do this for him. What was he thinking? He was no coward and he WILL get this done.

 

“I wish that you return with me. Come back home.” That was his best for that moment.

 

Frankly, Rin was a little hurt with that disturbingly vague request.

 

“You wish that I return as your servant?” She elaborated for him in her own understanding of his command.

 

Now, Sesshoumaru was the one who's hurt by her present statement and a little out of sorts.

 

Tilting her head up by her chin so that he could look into her eyes, he spoke indignantly.

 

“You were NEVER my servant. Never.” He ended his last word in a much calmer tone.

 

He held both Rin's hands up and in his own.

 

“I wish that you return with me…” He restated himself. “as my mate.”

 

“Your mate?” Rin was not any less bemused.

 

“Yes, as my bride.” He was almost blushing at this point, his crimson strips took a darker purple.

 

Rin gasped.

 

Did he just propose to me? She thought she might have heard wrongly.

 

Of course, the girl's initial reaction was one of complete elation. So, Sesshoumaru did have the intention to marry her, she mused gleefully. She had imagined this day for the longest time but thought it would take a real miracle for it to actually take place. But now…

 

But why? That was the haunting question that came right after. Isn't he aware that she's unable to provide him with what he needed? Doesn't he despise humans? Wouldn't she disgrace him?

 

Rin then shifted to a more bitterish mood. Maybe, he was merely acting out of pity, responsibility and guilt, guilt that he had mated her. Well, it wasn't uncommon in her time that such powerful warlords to have several wives and concubines. Sesshoumaru could be no different. Out of his cabinet of many women, those who were strong as he would help him rule his lands, some would bare him the perfectly pure breed heirs he so desired while other less significant ones like herself would be…. a pretty toy? He could seek her companionship when he got sick of those demanding and rough demoness and wanted some thing gentle and sweet for a change?

 

Sesshoumaru placed a tiny box in her palm. Reflexively, Rin opened it and it was a ring, cast in silver with a diamond on it, a solitaire, not huge but dainty.

 

Rin smirked.

 

“Do you know the significance behind this gift that you're presenting to me, my lord?” She thought she might fill him with some information she learnt in this new time.

 

Sesshoumaru appeared to be waiting patiently for her to carry on.

 

“One single diamond, one and only. It means that you'll love only ONE person your whole life. It is a promise, a very solemn declaration.” She was implying are-you-read- for-that. She was mocking him but she was wrong. The demon lord didn't look a least bit surprised as she half-expected.

 

“Yes, I know.” He said coolly.

 

“You do?” Now, Rin was shocked.

 

“Yes. That's why I'm asking you to be my mate, my sole mate.” His answer was solid, showing no hint of shunting any bit of honoring his promise.

 

Rin didn't know how to response to this new input. For one, she felt extremely guilty for thinking badly about him just few minutes back.

 

He's implying that I'll be his only wife? She was bewildered. Then what about my being a human? What about our children?

 

Rin was also aware how much she herself had advanced. After living five years in a modern society where men and women have equal rights, she wasn't sure if she could ever go back and be that submissive little girl she used to be. Was she still the Rin whom he wanted to marry? It would be terribly painful for both if they were to wed and later found that they had drifted too much apart.

 

Moreover, Rin couldn't deny that her anger was in fact the mastermind behind all of these negative thoughts. She was still angry with him, especially when he was brushing that part of it away as if it was of no significance. Maybe, he was thinking that since he's going to marry her, what he did the previous night could be atoned easily. That was exactly what pissed her off that most. But she loved him all the same and that was the rawest and most naked truth of it all. What will she do?

 

Sesshoumaru's heart was beating so rapidly that it might just jump right out of his mouth. Rin was taking way too long to decide and all this while, even when she was facing him, she was directing her gaze to the ground, as if deliberately shunning from him. The wait was eating him alive.

 

Finally, she looked up at him and the demon lord was hopeful, still.

 

“Sesshoumaru-sama, I'm really flattered. Really.” Rin thought that a word of thanks was in due. “I never thought that you will say all this but you did and I'm very touched.”

 

The youkai was smiling at her lovingly. Yes. This sounds promising.

 

Rin closed the box and put it back on the demon's hand and Sesshoumaru's face changed. He knew something was not right.

 

“I have always loved you, my lord, all my life. I still do now and I always will. There'll never be anyone else who can replace you in my heart.” Rin was still struggling with her words and Sesshoumaru was baffled. The girl's words were all so sweet and endearing but her action was completely opposite. What was she trying to do? He knew that he shouldn't interrupt her, no matter how agonized he felt by the slow progress.

 

“But my lord, I'm no longer the Rin whom you used to know and I can't accept this gift. A lot have changed. I have changed. Perhaps, if you take a closer look beyond my face, you may not see any of the Rin you brought up. I… I don't want to disappoint you.” Rin fought back a tear. “I wish with all my heart that you'll eventually find someone more worthy of you.”

 

With that, Rin turned to started to walk away after taking one last look at Sesshoumaru. Inside, she was cursing and swearing herself.

 

What have you done, you silly girl? Did you just reject the thing you wanted all your life? You stupid, stupid…. She didn't manage to dwell in that thought for too long. Something else shocked her to the max.

 

“I love you.” Sesshoumaru decided that if he failed to say this now, he might not get another chance. How can he deny himself of this relationship that he had yearned for subconsciously all his life, especially after the death of his father, the great Inu-general? It had already been clear as day to him. It was power, wealth or fame he seeks but those weren't what he needed. THIS. This was what he needed most to complete himself. Her. Rin.

 

“I love only you.” He affirmed, finding that his words flowed more fluently the second time.

 

Rin stopped.

 

She did not turn back and Sesshoumaru waited while observing her back view.

 

What? Rin heard every single one of those three words loud and clear and her tears just flowed uncontrollably drenching her cheeks and parts of her hair.

 

He said I love you. He said I love only you. Her mind just kept churning those words over and over again and she could think of nothing else for several minutes.

 

Rin felt her heart tugging at her chest, as if willing her to run back to the arms of the one she loved, the one who had just declared his affections for her. It was the most explicit words she had ever heard her master say and knowing him inside out, she was really, really touched.

 

A loud sounding of bells broke this rather agitated moment for the girl and she realized what it was immediately. That was the end of the interval! She had to return for the second half of the performance.

 

She wiped her tears and adjusted her gown a little and turning to face the demon lord, she apologized sheepishly.

 

“I… I have to get back to the performance.” Her voice was muffled, probably by all the crying. “I'm sorry.”

 

Without waiting for his reply, she dashed as if for her dear life. Nothing of all that was spoken between them was lingering in her mind now. What she could only think of was the gloomy murderous stare from the conductor if he were to find her missing from her chair. Boy was she going to get it from him big time. She'll be barred from any chances of playing solos or scholarships for at least one year.

 

Sesshoumaru felt kind of clownish standing there in the cold, watching as Rin ran at top speed back to the concert hall. But he understood the importance of the performance to her. Moreover, judging from her reactions after his last proclamation, he'd say he had a good chance of reconciling with her eventually. No matter how badly he pinned for her return, he just had to wait. He knew completely well that rushing and pressing the girl would only back fire on himself and cause negative results.

 

Patience.

 

This is the best time to display this trait… if he had them in the first place.

 

**********************

Hi,

 

I know probably some of you are disappointed that they didn't reconcile immediately but I promise many sweet and romantic things to come up soon.

 

So, next chapter,

 

Rin was ignoring Sesshoumaru but he was persistent in getting her back. Will his patience pay off?