InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A new beginning, a new hope ❯ His persistence/Her pride ( Chapter 20 )

The school had break for the winter and Mrs Higurashi and Ji-chan left three days ago for the airport after the Christmas concert leaving only the Kagome family, Sota and herself at home. It ought to be quite fun without aunty and gramps nagging down their necks now and then but it was far from being so. The main reason was that everyone had come to know about her recovery from her memory lapse and her interaction with the youkai lord, all thanks to the blabber mouth kid. She blamed it on her own stupidity. She shouldn't have told the little hanyou she met Sesshoumaru and get her all excited about it.

 

Rin pulled her thick feathered blanket over her head, her body retaliating to get out of bed. It was so snuggly and comfy inside here and it's so damn freezing cold outside!

 

Actually, she didn't really mind that everyone knows BUT… they were all so silent and keeping their distance, giving her that strange look from the corner of their eyes as if she was some alien experiment turn bad. Though she was able to empathize that they meant no harm, just granting her space and time to adjust and decide. Still, it was simply driving her nuts.

 

The only ONE person that she kept seeing round was in fact Sesshoumaru himself. Now that she was assured of his presence, she seemed to be spotting him now and then wherever she was. Actually, it was because he wasn't attempting to hide from her any further. She had politely indicated to him after the concert that she needed time to adapt to this new chance and also to sort things out and he had consented. Still, for the past few days, Rin found herself always stealing glances in hope that he'd really followed her.

 

Why am I behaving like this? She couldn't understand why she gets so disappointed when she couldn't locate him. Why do I miss him so much?

 

If he truly mattered so much to her and his offer's still open, why not she just accept his proposal and live happily ever after?

 

Rin had to confess that what Sesshoumaru had said to her that night, every single one of those endearing imprinting words, pleading her to be his wife and declaring so openly and resolutely that she was irreplaceable, it left a lingering warmth in her heart even when the temperature had fallen significantly in Tokyo city. It had even snowed a couple of times.

 

He said he loves me, he loves me, Rin was grinning bashfully every time she recalled that and she didn't even know it.

 

Deep down, she didn't know why she had turned him down. It was so damn silly of her!

 

Oh yes, she remembered.

 

That issue again, the same one that had always been there. But.. Shouldn't Sesshoumaru-sama have considered that before he even voice his intention to wed her? What was he thinking? Can he really accept that she could only bare him hanyou heirs? And by insisting that she would be his only wife, doesn't it mean that he'll possibly NEVER have a pure breed child?

 

Not mentioning that, even in battles, she'd not be of any real help, well, unless she hits his raging enemies with her violin. She might consider doing that if the instrument hadn't cost nearly ten thousand dollars, bought on a scholarship fund.

 

Doesn't he care about those anymore?

 

Rin was puzzled as ever.

 

Of course, anger. Some parts of her blood still fumed when the matter was drawn to that. Sesshoumaru did something he shouldn't have but… was it really that unforgivable? Was she truly so incredibly infuriated over that tiny little easily negligible incident where he had lost control of himself… probably because he yearned for her, because he was dead attracted to her?

 

Sesshoumaru had always prided himself to be composed and imperturbable, in almost all situations. But the fact that he couldn't resist her, it does prove the depth of his true feeling toward her. Wasn't that something to be supposedly happy about?

 

Rin rolled over and hugged her pillow. She remembered his bold and extensively exploring touches as he nibbled with his kisses every inch of her unclothe flesh. A distinct tingle coursed up her spine just thinking about it.

 

And his pumps, they were so heavily intensified with an unspoken possessive zest and yet filled with much passion and …. love. That was what it was. Now that he had declared it, Rin realized that what she felt that night as their naked bodies meshed, that unfamiliar intensity arising from the heat of his skin… it was love.

 

Gosh! How she wished she wasn't so drunk that night! Perhaps then, she'd be able to relish that intimate moment a little more.

 

Rin sighed dreamily and snuggled in her pillow as if pretending it was someone else.

 

It didn't take one whole minute before she snapped out of it and slammed her head on the mattress.

 

Get a hold of yourself! She exploded within.

 

What was she getting all excited for? Why can't she resist him? Why is her body betraying her like this, so subconsciously drawn to his claim?

 

She hates herself for being so… almost shameless!

 

I must be strong!

 

****************************

 

Pushing the glass door, Rin stepped into Wacdonalds and immediately spotted Yumi right at their usual table waving at her. She removed the scarf round her neck as she paced toward her friend.

 

“Sorry for waiting. I was looking around for parking space.” Rin felt apologetic for always being late for appointments. Though she got her driving license a year back, she hardly ever drives but instead much referred to be chauffeured around by the brotherly cellist. Due to the obvious lack of practice, she was going like 30 miles an hour. Naturally then, she took ages to reach her destination. This plus the usual urban jam, perhaps she should have just jogged here.

 

“Nah, tis okay. It's the hols man! No practicing, relaxing all day kind of stuff.” Yumi seemed just too blessed. “Too bad Koji and Uiru had gone on a vacation. If not, we can have another drinking session again.” And she gave Rin a wink.

 

“Gee, I'm so disappointed too.” Rin feigned a sulky face. Yah right, she smirked, look what happened to me the last time. Fancy you're even suggesting we do it again.

 

On second thoughts, the night wasn't all that bad, especially how it ended. In split second, Rin cut off that potentially amorous musing.

 

“Hey Rin,” Yumi's eyes lit up and she was pointing to something outside the glass window. “It's that boyfriend of yours. What's he doing just standing there?”

 

Rin turned. Sesshoumaru was there alright. However, he wasn't looking at their direction. Instead he seemed kind of deep in thoughts, leaning against a street lamp.

 

How does he manage to always look so charming? Rin couldn't help but pause to admire his form.

 

“Why isn't he coming in?” Yumi peered at Rin suspiciously. “Are you guys fighting or what?”

 

Rin shook her head as if she didn't know the reason too.

 

“Okay! Since the two of you are cool, I'll… ask him in!” Before Rin could stop her, Yumi had raced out of the door. Rin watched with her heart in her mouth as Yumi skipped up to Sesshoumaru and said something she couldn't make out and … Rin gasped. The two of them were now making their way toward her direction. Their eyes met for a split second as he reached the table and sat down opposite her.

 

There was an awkward silence, soon broken by the chubby girl.

 

“Hey, I don't know your name yet.” And she waited but the demon lord gave no response. All this while, he had preferred to study Rin's flustered expression, trying to guess what she could be thinking.

 

Rin's head shot up as Yumi poked at her shoulder questioningly while giving her the eye signal.

 

“Sesshoumaru. His name, I mean.” Rin assisted automatically.

 

Yumi's first reaction was of pure astonishment. He sounded like some secret agent cum assassin or perhaps even a bounty hunter! Whatever it was, he sure looked more dangerous now… dangerously COOL!

 

Well, Yumi wasn't that oblivious. She noticed the cold war between the two and not knowing how to resolve that, she decided that she had better make herself scarce… at least for a while.

 

“So, let's order. Tell me what you guys want and I'll go get it.” Yumi felt like she was the only doing all the talking. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to call him in the first place. Rin had gone so quiet now.

 

She directed her gaze at Sesshoumaru first as if waiting for his reply but there was none. It was not that he didn't want to, he just wasn't sure what's there to eat. He was never into human food but suppose his objective here was to persuade Rin to return to him, he concluded that he shouldn't appear too aloof or impolite.

 

Besides, he knew exactly what was bothering the girl now, also thanks to Inuyasha for producing that news broadcasting kid. He wanted so much to find a chance to speak to Rin about it but she wasn't at all receptive and didn't seem to be granting him that bit of patience. Whenever he attempted to get near, she would look busy or scramble off on some nonsensical task.

 

He sighed. This is not at all easy. At least, he was aware he should not show any signs of waver. His sincerity and confidence in making good his promises was now an essential key and deciding factor for Rin.

 

Actually, during these past three days, he had made an interesting observation regarding the girl, he grinned smugly. She had apparently begun to dress more conservatively, her skirts now reaching below her knees and with her long winter boots, he could hardly see her legs anymore. Could she have done this because of him, that which his opinion still matters to her? He found that thought extremely motivating.

 

Then why, why was she resisting him? He knew he had himself to blame for this. Perhaps, he ought to apologize as soon as possible.

 

Yumi was now drumming her fingers impatiently on table and Rin quickly responded in her master's place.

 

“Tea. Get him some hot tea.”

 

“Sure. What about you? The usual?” Yumi threw a playful smile while she said that routinely. She knew her friend all too well.

 

Rin caught Sesshoumaru's not-too-pleased look and she instantly guessed, and accurately, what he was pouting about.

 

So! He doesn't like me eating that eh? At a mischievous spur to spike him, Rin blurted out, “I want double today.”

 

That statement did achieve its effects. It had managed to shock both Sesshoumaru and Yumi.

 

Rin gleamed victoriously when she noted the demon's even gloomier expression, his crimson strips turning almost brownish grey.

 

“Sure. I'll go order now.” Yumi was just too glad to take her leave. This was getting a wee bit too creepy for comfort.

 

After Rin had her little internal celebration of triumph, it suddenly dawned on her that they were now alone, staring right at each other.

 

There was a long awkward silence.

 

The girl's eyes were flickering left and right, purposefully shunning away from the youkai and Sesshoumaru's heart sank a little lower at each passing minute seeing her like this.

 

She seemed so uneasy, so distant, possessing not a trace of that bubbly buoyant child who enjoyed tagging around him. He would give anything to regain that closeness with her once again, those good old days, which he never did once showed he had appreciated.

 

He noticed the obvious puff beneath her eyes.

 

“You look tired,” his eyes reflecting a hint of concern. “You did not sleep well?”

 

Rin gave no response though she wasn't really sure why she wanted to ignore him.

 

Pride, she concluded inwardly.

 

To lessen the self reproach that was pricking her right now, she decided to focus on a rather mundane thing, like trying to figure out what that black patch on the floor could be.

 

This is not working, Sesshoumaru fretted. He caught sight of something round the girl's neck.

 

“That's an interesting necklace you're wearing.” This was an unplanned sentence. His curiosity just got the better of him.

 

Necklace? Rin traced down her own turtle neck sweater. Oh, I see.

 

“That's not a necklace. It's a thumb drive,” Rin replied spontaneously, at the same time picking up the little gadget hanging at the base. Then, she removed it and handed it to Sesshoumaru for him to have a more detail inspection. Pointing to the string of beads attached to it, she continued, “Sota got me this so that I can wear it conveniently.”

 

Rin noted Sesshoumaru's confused furrow of brows as he played with the little item and she felt the need to explain.

 

“It stores all sorts of information and files, kind of like a memory space.”

 

That did little to aid the demon's comprehension on the topic.

 

Humans now put their memories in a necklace? He was clouded. Is Rin storing their past in there too?

 

“All kinds of memories you say?” He seek to affirm.

 

“Erm.. Well.. I use it to save some of my musical scores.” Rin could sense that her master was lost. “Yumi wanted to borrow it so I brought it here with me.”

 

Sesshoumaru nodded in appreciation. So, it's for that sort of memory, feeling a sudden relief. He was also glad he got the girl talking to him finally.

 

Damn! What did I just do? I answered him! I'm not supposed to do that? What got into me? Rin covered her mouth consciously.

 

The demon noticed in dismay that the girl was back to her non-interactive passive state. He knew that this was the best time.

 

“I am sorry…” Rin shot him an utterly astounded look. “…for that night, I mean. I… behaved badly… and I hurt you. I shouldn't have…”

 

He was intercepted.

 

“Don't…” Rin stammered weakly, without much consideration. “Don't say anymore…”

 

Actually, the girl just felt that this crowded laughter- filled fast food restaurant wasn't the most ideal place for such solemn conversations. But she heard him anyway.

 

Sesshoumaru-sama apologized. That's rare and…. sweet.

 

She had to confess that her heart had softened a great deal and deep down inside, she had long forgiven him even before he mouthed those three words. It was merely the conspiracy of her feminine pride and ego that made her hold the willful stance.

 

However, her words had wounded the youkai and he was in an even more dissuaded mood now.

 

“Perhaps if my presence here is bringing you distress,” He stood up. “Then, I should take my leave.”

 

Rin's blood came to a halt. Oh no! She had hurt him with her last thoughtless words! What should she do? How could she make up for it?

 

She felt contrite and wanted so much for Sesshoumaru to stay but just could not mouth it. The youkai was now walking to her side and she felt significantly worse when he removed his jacket.

 

“It'll snow later.” His senses had picked up the draft in the air. “Take this with you.”

 

He left her his coat.

 

Rin's heart pinched painfully as she followed his fading back view with her nearly tearing eyes.

 

It didn't take long before Yumi returned and she figured things had gotten worse in her absence since Sesshoumaru had left. She sat down and regarded Rin with a mock disapproval.

 

“Now girl, tell me, what are you guys fighting about?” She was insistent to get it out of the girl.

 

“I told you already. WE'RE NOT FIGHTING!” Rin rolled her eyes.

 

“Hey, don't you show me that face. I'm worried about ya, that's all.” Yumi pointed out, pouting.

 

Rin sighed. Her friend was right. The one who's at fault for all this was none other than herself.

 

“I'm sorry. I know you care. It's just that I feel so confused.” A tear glittered in her hazel eyes.

 

Yumi instantly softened.

 

“Okay, okay. Calm down.” She consoled while giving the girl a pat on her shoulder. “Tell me why you're upset. You ARE obviously upset with him, am I right?”

 

Rin took in a deep breath.

 

“That night… the party I mean,” her tone was merely a whisper. “After he brought me home, I was drunk and he… he…”

 

Rin did not continue but she gave Yumi the `you-know-what-I'm-refering-to' look.

 

“No way!” Guessing what it was correctly, Yumi slapped both palms on the table, almost standing up. Then, she beckoned Rin to shift in closer to her. “Was he good?”

 

“YUMI!??!!?!” Rin pushed her friend back forcefully to her seat.

 

“Alright, alright!” The chubby made amends straight away. “He just looks like the aggressive type in bed. I'm curious..”

 

She froze after Rin shot her a stare intense with malice. Yumi proceeded to take her seat and was in deep thoughts for a few minutes.

 

“So, I suppose you're upset because…” she began again, this time, more cautiously. “Because you were drunk and so he robbed you of enjoying your first sexual experience.”

 

Rin's brows twisted and she rubbed her palms together gingerly.

 

“Well, not quite. We kind of… already…”

 

Yumi's jaws fell open and she shook her head in disbelief.

 

“Gee Rin, you're more liberal than I thought.” She giggled scandalously. “I always see you as a conservative Oba-san but … you're a wild chick!”

 

“One more time, if you joked about this one more time, I'm leaving.” Rin's tone was firm and Yumi stuck out her tongue.

 

“Then what's wrong with what he did, I mean, it's not your first with him? Why are you upset?” Yumi was showing genuine sincerity in helping her now.

 

“No reason!” The truth was that Rin wasn't going to harp on that anymore.

 

Yumi was at wits end. “Why don't you eat something first? Here, your favourite.” She thought some ice-cream could really help cool her down.

 

Rin just couldn't bring herself to eat it, especially after Sesshoumaru's disapproving glares. Her hesitancy roused her friend's suspicions.

 

“See girl? You're a goner for him.” Yumi was smart. “You're so.. so obedient.”

 

“Obedient?” Rin didn't catch the meaning behind.

 

“Yah, obedient. You know he wasn't pleased with you eating this junk and you're simply submitting to him. You love him. I'm sure of it.” She sighed. “Poor Sota, he's got no hope now.”

 

Rin ignored Yumi's last statement as she cursed herself. Her hopeless infatuation with her master was so obvious, even to a by-stander?

 

“Yumi, he proposed.” She wished desperately to confide with someone and since her chubby friend was so overly eager to help, she might well tell her more.

 

“Really? You agreed?” Yumi couldn't hide her excitement.

 

“No, I mean, not yet. I need to consider.” Rin's words were beginning to flow better as she poured out her heart.

 

“Consider? Consider what? Don't you love him?” Yumi was bewildered.

 

“You don't understand. We're very different.” Rin took a while to try to put her situation with the demon lord into modern perspective. “He's from a sophisticated and politically powerful family and.. perhaps he should find someone of better caliber than me.”

 

“Get out of here! What era are you from?” Yumi had heard enough and got the gist of things. “He came all the way to ask your hand, probably going against all that he was born to believe in, and you're rejecting him because your low self esteem?”

 

Rin looked up at Yumi, surprised at how well her friend had pin pointed her problem even when she didn't know the complete truth.

 

“Rin, if today, you were to deny yourself of the one you love, because of whatever the reason, I tell you, you're going to live to regret this your entire life.” Yumi gave the girl a little massage on her shoulders. “It's not easy to find a person you truly love to share your life with. It takes almost a miracle and lots of sacrifices. I think Sesshoumaru knows that. That's why he's here. I believe he would have given it sufficient thought before making this decision. You should trust in him.”

 

Rin was touched by her encouraging and enlightening words. Yes, perhaps she had been blinded by too many trivial issues. Perhaps what Yumi said was right. What's most important was that they love each other deeply.

 

It had started to snow outside Wacdonalds but Sesshoumaru was damn glad he had stayed behind long enough to hear this little conversation between the two girls. He was filled with gratitude for the rather complimenting words from the third party.

 

Rin loves him. He was confident of that now. She was merely fighting a battle of obstinate pride with herself, a soon losing battle, he'll make sure.

 

A smile finally broadened across his crimson cheeks.