InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Absolution: The Collected Chronicles of Miroku and Sango ❯ Finding Me ( Chapter 2 )

'Why do I always wind up in this situation?'

 

Miroku was alone, trying to drown his sorrows in sake. The phone calls from home were more and more frequent. It had reached the point where Miroku dreaded even going home. Finally reaching the end of his rope, he called the phone company and had the phone turned off. It would be a hassle but it was better than the constant harassment.

 

Feeling claustrophobic in his apartment led Miroku to this restaurant. All he wanted was a dark corner to mull over his life and maybe just let go of the past. So far, he hadn't been successful. Even after meeting Sango, he couldn't find the courage to call her. 

 

`Maybe I like wallowing in pity. Maybe this is who I am.'

 

Recalling their conversation, Miroku knew Sango was right when she told him that he had to face his past in order to move on. But facing his past meant he had to acknowledge the hurt, the betrayal, the lies and Miroku wasn't sure he was ready for that. How could he look the new couple in the eye and be happy for them, when it was his heart that was ripped out? Taking another drink of sake, Miroku endured the burn and hoped it would burn out all of his emotions with it.

 

Glancing towards the door, Miroku thought his drunken eyes were playing tricks on him. There was Sango and a male companion. He watched as they took a table and ordered. He could tell she was happy. She was smiling and talking with her companion. Suddenly, a wave of jealousy slammed him. 

 

“She should be with me.”

 

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, Sango's words came back to him,

 

“When you can look at me and not be haunted by a ghost, give me a call.”

 

Sighing Miroku stared into his cup. The ghost of the relationship that was had seeped into every aspect of his life. Unknowingly, he had put his whole life on hold while everyone else moved on. 

 

`When did everything stop for me? When did I stop living?”

 

Looking across the room at Sango, He debated going to her table and greeting her. He realized that he didn't want her to see him like he was now, a broken and bitter shell of a man. Looking at the light dancing across her features made Miroku realize that she deserved more. Someone devoted to her, someone who could keep that sparkling smile on her face. In the deep recesses of his mind, it finally dawned on him that she was willing to give him a chance, whenever HE was ready.

 

 
 

 

Sparing furtive glances across the room, Sango noticed Miroku in the darkened corner when she entered the restaurant. Still slightly peeved at his lack of phone call, Sango decided to watch and wait. When Kouga called her to come out for dinner, she had almost refused but then she realized that sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring wasn't going to make it better. As she was dressing for her date, Sango realized she was mad with herself for waiting like a lovesick schoolgirl for the phone call that never came.

 

Miroku's presence was totally unexpected. Sango could see him taking shot after shot of sake. Part of her wanted to go over and stop him but the rational part of her mind realized Miroku had to save himself. It took all of her concentration on Kouga to disregard Miroku but she continued to peek, just to make sure he was ok. 

 

All too soon, dinner was over. Kouga excused himself to the restroom and Sango chanced a glance. To her surprise, Miroku was eating and he no longer had sake on the table. Sango began to smile when she noticed his eyes looked peaceful. She hoped Miroku had made a decision to find solace within himself. 

 

“Are you ready to go?” Kouga startled her with his return.

 

“Oh yea. You just startled me.” As Sango collected her things, she gave one last glance back at Miroku. This time he caught her looking. He gave her a smile and a wink. Sango smiled back and left with Kouga.

 
 

 

 

`So she did see me here.' Miroku couldn't help but grin. The look on her face showed her concern but he admired the fact that she stayed away. 

 

`Maybe she could sense I needed to work things out for myself. Smart lady.'

 

He caught Sango staring as she left with her friend. He was happy to see that smile directed at him. As he watched her leave the restaurant, for the first time in a long time, hopeful thoughts crossed his mind. Miroku continued to smile. He could feel an unexpected warmth flood his soul.

 

 

`Maybe there is a future for me. Maybe it starts with her.'