InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Absolution: The Collected Chronicles of Miroku and Sango ❯ Night ( Chapter 15 )

Facing the night was harder than living in the daylight. In the daylight, he could tell himself the stories that made easier to live with the guilt. In the daylight, he could justify his actions, telling himself they were the act of a righteous man, a man who had been scorned. He deserved some type of justice for all the pain he suffered through. Miroku knew his parting words were like a stab to Sango's heart but that had been his intention. He wanted her to hurt as much as he had been hurting and he had wanted to be the one to inflict the pain. In his vengeful heart, he was glad to see her face crumple as his words tore her to pieces.

 

“You know, I can't help but wonder if you figured out the reasons why you're running.”

 

He told himself she deserved it. She deserved the agony for playing with his emotions, for feeding him her sympathy only to take it away when she refused to face the same truth within herself. She deserved it for pretending she cared. But alone in the dark, he could no longer hide from what he knew deep down was the truth.

 

He needed her.

 

She had become his air, his reason for rising in the morning. His daytime denials were replaced by nighttime longings. He missed the sound of her voice, the way she could calm him. Hell, he even missed her angry moments. Thinking through the whole conversation, he knew Sango had been right. It was time to end this broken triangle he had become intertwined within to the point of strangulation. It had been cutting off his life and now it was cutting out Sango.

 

In the daylight, he could tell himself that he didn't care. Sentiment didn't matter under the glow of the sun. He could pretend that he didn't see the tears shining in her eyes, the misery evident on her face. In the daylight, he could show the world his indifference. He could feign disregard for her sorrow. In his daylight world, he was a shining star. Men envied him and all the ladies lusted for him. In this world of light, he was transcendent.

 

But at night, he was alone.

 

The same sentiment he ignored in the daylight haunted him at night. He could almost feel the warm splash of her tears, his heart in agony over the hurt and anguish over her face. At night, there was no shining light to chase away the shadows. Instead, they consumed him, forcing him to bear witness the type of man he was becoming: angry, broken, bitter. He would wake up in the dark, tears streaming down his face, her name on his lips.

 

He felt as if he were going insane. Sleep eluded him as the truths, relentless in their need to be heard, assailed his conscious. Soon, it felt as if the night waited for him, eager to rip away the lies of the light and show him the truth he could only face in the darkness. He knew if things didn't change, if he didn't right the wrongs of the past and the present, he would be consumed, lost to the demons of the night.