InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Absolution: The Collected Chronicles of Miroku and Sango ❯ Freedom ( Chapter 17 )

As he sat across from her, he realized that he no longer cared. If anyone had told him in the midst of his all-consuming agony he'd reach a point where none of it would matter, when SHE didn't matter any more, he would have laughed. True, it would have been cynical, full of the poison that, until recently, consumed his soul, but he still would have laughed.

 

For so long he had been lost. All he could hear were her hurtful words reverberating in his heart. He had never known such pain existed in the world. At the time, he took comfort in her pain even as his soul went closer to the abyss. He was more than willing to go to hell but only if he could take her with him. Vengeance and bitterness were the only things that kept him functioning. Now he could see what an empty existence he once lived.

 

Listening with half an ear as she apologized and tried to explain, he realized he no longer needed this. During his misery-filled nights, he used to dream of her groveling at his feet on her knees, begging him to forgive her and set her free. Now, sitting in the light of day, he realized it no longer concerned him. He completely understood where she was emotionally. He was intimate with the pain and the constant questioning of self. Now he was wise enough to know that he could not release her from the guilt that plagued her- only she had that power.

 

He really wished there was some type of comfort he could provide for her, but he understood it was no longer his place. Even his words sounded hollow as he tried to think of what to say. He knew she would have to find her own way in her own time. During his time wandering in the recesses of his soul, he had learned his own lessons. He could now appreciate the journey he had undertaken. It had been rough, and so many times he had been ready to just give up and drown in the sorrow.

 

But he had been saved by someone as broken as he. He had been shown the way back to his faith, his joy and his love. Smiling serenely at the sad girl who sat in front of him, for the first time he finally understood what it meant to be free. Free from the anger and the sadness. This part of his past was done. He could only wish her strength and peace as she tried to find her way back into the light.

 

As he said goodbye and emerged into the sun, he gave in to the urge to bask its warmth and light. For so long, it had been cold and dark in his world and now he had stepped into the light. There would be no looking back.