InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ After The Moment With You: ❯ Too Afraid to Love You ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

-CONTINUED- **Earlier that evening**





She swung her right leg over the side struggling to pull herself up and over the well's wall.



"Jerk...said... he would...get me" Kagome grunted to the wind dropping her self into the soft grass.



Wiping the sweat from her brow she laughed to herself,  "Phew! That was way harder then it should have been. I must be getting out of shape."



Kagome's bag was heavier than usual she stocked up on a heftier load of supplies this time. The usual things; First aid kit, pocky snacks and colour pencils for Shippo, herbal teas and soaps for Sango along with various types of chocolate she knew she would enjoy sampling. A book called 'Religion Explained' by Pascal Boyer, she had found at the book store thinking Miroku would like it since he seemed so keen to know more about the many types religions in Kagome's time. Cat treats for Kilala and of course more then half the space was occupied by Inuyasha's ration of various instant noodles (except for the spicy kind) she didn't have a doubt in her mind that they would ALL be gone within the next few days.



'That boy would clean out the whole isle of instant noodles in the grocery store if he could' she had thought while picking out the different flavours and she still thought the same.



And last but not least, her school work. She had packed every single piece of study material she could possibly fit into her giant yellow bag. Kagome was now in her final year of High school she still couldn't believe she had made it this far. Between fighting Naraku and searching for the shards she didn't know how she would be able to keep up with her studies. Inuyasha constantly argued with her whenever she needed to go back to her time to do important tests. But their she was reaching her finals which weren't even 3 months away and she had managed to keep a good average. She thought at times that she might not even live to see her high school days having had her share of danger in her time through the Bone Eaters well.



Standing up and dusting herself off she noted the small smudge on her new skirt and clicked her tongue in annoyance. 'Mama wouldn't be impressed if I ruined this Uniform right away'.



Kagome prided her high school uniform. It reminded her of how far along she had come, from being a scrawny little girl in a green sailor styled junior school uniform she had come to this time in, frightened and naive of evil. She was older now (nearly 18), she was more confident and far more powerful then she could ever have imagined. Her skill with a bow and arrow were impressive to the people of the village, though she was modest about it. Her spiritual powers where growing everyday and her abilities were remarkable, she was often compared to Kikio within the village. She felt as though she no loner needed to protect herself behind her friends,and she no longer needed to prove herself anymore. To no one except...



Inuyasha. Where was he?



Kagome started towards the dirt path to the Village a little disappointed that she had not been greeted by anything but softly twittering birds.



She walked slowly not feeling a need to rush as she got lost in her thoughts.



'What if he left again?' She bit her lip nervously.



Frowning at the memory of Inuyasha leaving not too long ago without a word for nearly 2 weeks, she could feel her nerves wind tightly within her in a nagging way against her heart strings. She had been a worried mess at the time, she remembered those agonizing days like they were yesterday. She cried when he had finally returned, he came solemnly out of the darkness as if he were just coming back from a rough journey. She had waited every night outside the hut until the sun nearly rose for him to come back, like a dog waiting for its master, she had thought it was rather ironic. Yelling at him furiously when he returned until her throat was hoarse and trembling with sobs. He just took it, looking towards the ground in guilt but his arms crossed sternly over his chest as if he were allowing her to take out her frustration on him verbally. She thought  he had been hurt, thought he had gotten captured by Naraku, thought that he was dead or that he was with...



He never did give her a good reason for his disappearance he just said sternly that there was something he had to take care of and that he couldn't have them slowing him down. As furious as Kagome was with that poor excuse, his sudden apology seemed so sincere. He had pulled her into a strong embrace, much to her surprise and was even more so when he promised he would never do it again nor leave her side.



Her stomach fluttered at the memory. The tenderness of his touch and the husky apologetic whisper in her ear had made her heart stop back then. He pressed her so close to his heart and held her as if she would slip away from him at any moment. It felt like a longing, loving embrace.



Kagome placed a hand on her flushed cheek shaking away the rising butterflies in her stomach.



'I know where he probably ran off to or more so WHO he ran off to... Kagome don't kid yourself,' A voice in her disheartened.



Looking down the path she noticed that she was approaching the Sacred tree and gave a long sad sigh, 'But he has never left me that long for 'her' before'



'Could he be getting... well... bored of me?'



'No... Inuyasha cares about all of us he wouldn't leave like that for her' she bit back but her negativeness persisted,



'He has been pretty distant lately... maybe he figured it would hurt my feelings for once and did a nice thing for me. I know he's chosen who he wants but...'



Memories of there embrace flooded back.


'What did it mean? Did it mean anything at all? Maybe I'm just reading too much into it.'



Stopping suddenly she turned slowly, looking over to the Sacred tree, "Inuyasha" she whispered out loud.



She was compelled to walk over and touch the scar where he had been pinned, feeling a slight warmth against her touch. She looked up into the leaf blanketed branches where streams of light escaped. She breathed in deeply, and closed her eyes.



'I won't leave you again Kagome I promise I'll stay by your side...' His words came to her again in that smooth whisper.



She had promised him that same thing all those years ago. It still hurt.



The bond Kikio and Inuyasha have, was something she and him could never attain. She sympathized with how confused Inuyasha must have been with Kikio's death and resurrection. Kagome figured out long ago, that time alone would not be able to heal Inuyasha's heart, as much as she hoped their friendship would mend him. She loved Inuyasha, she definitely couldn't hide that anymore. She could no longer hide it that day she promised she wouldn't leave him nearly 2 years ago.



She accepted his choice, she accepted anything about Inuyasha. Kagome struggled with her feelings towards him over the years, trying to keep them at bay though Inuyasha and Kikio seemed to break down all those walls during each encounter. It left her feeling alone, and deserted each time forcing her to rummage through her heart like the adolescent girl she was at the time. But she had to put a stop to all that, she told her self she needed to grow up and stop feeling sorry for herself. Learning to accept that Inuyasha would undoubtedly run to Kikio any chance he got was difficult, she for a time only focused on getting stronger. Her training with Kaedey had come to be useful in battles against Naraku but Kagome found she was never strong enough.



As hard as she had worked to ignore her feelings towards Inuyasha, she would find herself bottling up a lot of her emotions which would ultimately blow up on her during inconvenient times. She knew she didn't hide herself as well as she hoped, the obvious hopelessness of her affections were actually quite painful to watch for most of the group, and even more so for Kagome who was the one looking out from the situation. Inuyasha was just as bad as she was, every time he hesitated to go see Kikio for Kagome's behalf was like a slap in the face to her. What did he want her to say? "No, don't go to her?", Every time he asked for what seemed like her permission to leave, he forced her to give him up from her heart each and every time and that always hurt most.



Though he hadn't run off to her in months, his confessions of running to Kikio were more blunt when he did. She felt as though his honesty was far better then tense silence and at least he respected her enough now not to do so, or so she thought. His unclear answer to his whereabouts two weeks ago kept Kagome skeptical of his actions, and she hated analyzing everything he did. It was something she didn't want to admit to even herself but her trust in him was waining. Was she to blame? His indecisiveness was famous within the group, and he had to be dense to not know his actions hurt her. Sango usually made sure he would know what he did wrong anyway, she always did.



Before Kagome was captured by Kagura and that infant long ago, Kagome had never admitted that she hated Inuyasha and felt bitterness and jealousy towards Kikio. They were uncontrollable emotions, it showed her humanity and her strength. Her love for Inuyasha was stronger then hate and her respect and sympathy for Kikyo over shadowed any resentment. She always felt guilty for harbouring hatred towards the two for having feelings that she herself couldn't control, which was an unrequited love.



"There's a good reason you're not here right now with me right Inuyasha? Why you're not by my side?" She asked the tree's scar.



Knowing no answer would come she pulled away and continued down the path.



She looked past the horizon towards the setting sun and smiled at it's welcoming warmth. She could see smoke coming out of Sango's little hut in the corner of the village and a familiar purple robed figure sitting outside against the front of the quaint little home. She giggled out loud. Miroku must have done something to piss off the sassy Demon slayer to have him be outside sitting alone in the chilled March breeze.



She walked down the path towards the village looking around for that flash of red to clam her nerves but it never came.



"Good evening lady Kagome" an elderly woman greeted her as she passed by.



"Good evening!" Kagome smiled back bowing slightly.



Others waved to her and bid her a good evening as well, as she walked the outer path of the village and some children ran up to her and asked her questions, hung off her and talked her ear off. She silenced there persistent child like banter with suckers she had in her bag and then continued on her way.



Kagome was no longer seen as a strange girl in stranger looking clothes in the little village. The people adored her when she was around. Helping with the sick and playing with the children she has become quite loved by the villagers.



She soon came upon Miroku's and Sango's hut that lay just a little outside the village, Miroku and Inuyasha had built it about 2 months ago. It was Miroku's idea first, he really wanted to make a home for Sango and had been talking about it for a while. With Sango and Miroku being engaged there was a slight urgency from Sango to have her own home, but it was more or less for the whole group anyway. Sango and Kagome and told the men that they had been using Kiedey's home for to long and should consider having their own home stead. The village had long ago accepted Inuyasha as their protector so a permanent home was more then fine. It also felt like a home away from home for Kagome.



"Miroku!" Kagome called out waving happily.



He perked up from his solitude and spotted the noticeable girl walking towards him, "Why hello there Kagome! welcome back." He smiled standing to greet her.



"So what did you do this time to get kicked out Miroku?" Kagome giggled stopping in-front of him holding out a helping hand.



Before the Monk opened his mouth a small blur of green and orange fluff launched its self from within the hut and into Kagome's arms. Making her drop Miroku's grasp and leaving the monk in mid stand, only to have himself fall back with an, "Oohf!"



"Oh! Shippo" Kagome laughed as he hugged her tightly.



"Kagome I missed yooou!!!" he squealed happily nuzzling her with his head lovingly. He noticed the poor monk groaning and struggling to stand up rubbing his back side in pain. "Sorry Miroku." he lowered



He waved his hand at Shippo's apology, with a pained smile. "It's all right Shippo."



"Kagome your back" Sango beamed leaning out the door, Kilala standing by her feet meowing a little welcome as well. "Did you're studying go well?"



Kagome sighed "Yes, well… it went better then I thought it would, but I need to still catch up with a few courses."



"When do you have to take those final exams Inuyasha told us about? He said you had to battle something called a 'diploma?' is it harder then Fox training?" Shippo asked with a worried tone.



"Don't worry Shippo I'll be fine" Kagome reassured not feeling the need to correct the young child of what her test's really where. "They're still a couple months away"



"So did you bring me any sweets?" Shippo eagerly asked



"You know I did" she smirked



"Come, come lets talk inside" Sango piped



Sango rushed the group in excited to have Kagome try her stew that she had slaved away in the hut for nearly a whole hour. She also gave a reluctant look to have the monk back in the hut, and made sure he was last to come inside. Kagome noticed the glower the young Slayer shot at the Monk as he hesitantly stepped inside and sat beside his fiance.



The tension was thick in the air.



"So... One of you going tell me what's going on between the two of you?" Kagome asked as she rummaged out her gifts from her bag.



The couple stayed quiet, but without missing a single beat shippo chimed out. "Miroku was being a little too friendly with the head mans daughter."



"Miroku" Kagome chastised



"It's not at all how Shippo put it" Miroku assured



Sango closed her eyes in annoyance "I'm sure" she scoffed



"Sango! Please be reasonable" he pleaded, "I would never stoop as low as going for the head mans daughter when I have an incredibly beautiful fiance here at home."



"Save it you crooked monk, I'm done talking about this" Sango bit out pouring Shippo a bowl of stew and handing it to him.



"Oh, you two." Kagome sighed pulling out Sango's gifts "Well, these will make you feel better Sango"



Sango took the bundle. "Kagome you didn't have to bring me anything" she smiled "Thank you very much"



Kagome handed another small bag to Sango "Oh and Kilala's cat treats!"



Kilala mewed happily, coming over and sniffing the bag.



"And this is for you Miroku" Kagome passed the book to him



"How very interesting, thank you Kagome!" He said examining the book.



Shippo lowered his head and fiddled shyly with his fingers "...Hey, What about me?"



"Of course Shippo don't be silly" Kagome smirked at the child's impatience handing him his little gifts.



His eyes lit up and he squealed in delight "Oh thank you Kagome Thank you!"



Kagome smiled brightly "It's no problem guys"



And with that the tension of the room dissipated with Kagome's kind gestures. Sango finished pouring everyone soup and everyone commented on how much better her food had come along, making her blush bashfully.



Although she was happy to be back with her friends, Kagome's mind was still nagging at her for the one who wasn't among them.



"It's getting late." Kagome noted looking out the open door at the low sun set, "And Inuyasha still isn't here."



"Oh? I almost didn't notice he wasn't here." Miroku admitted taking a long sip from his tea, "He likes to wander off, he thinks he imposes when your not around sometimes."



"I'm afraid I didn't notice either, did he not bring you back?" Sango said worryingly



Kagome stared deep into the fire, "He never showed, I came by myself."



"Strange of him to go off without saying anything," Sango mused, but knew that it was a familiar story. "I thought he was with you earlier?"  



All eyes were on Miroku.



His eyes shifted to the floor, "Uh, yes he was not too long ago..."



Sango frowned at his reaction but Kagome didn't catch it. "Well?" She pressed.



“I believe he just went for a walk,” Miroku said uneasy.



Sango eyed her husband.



Miroku's answer felt wrong to Kagome aswell, it made her stomach turn uncomfortably. He was being distant because he knew something, but it was obvious he didn't want her to know.



Turning her attention back to Kagome, Sango continued. "Don't worry Kagome, I'm sure he'll be back soon."



Shippo stopped slurping one of the juice boxes Kagome had given him and spoke, "I thought I saw him walking into the Forrest, I just assumed he was going to get you Kagome."



Kagome pondered for a moment placing away the last of the instant noodles on a shelf to the side and stood up "I think I'll actually go look for him."



"I'll come" Sango said quickly ready to stand.



"No, no it's all right thanks." Kagome waved off "Don't trouble yourself Sango."



"It's getting dark out, you know it's not safe" Sango pleaded.



Miroku stood up aswell "Sango's right Kagome, it's not safe"



Kagome struggled to hold back her slight annoyance 'Everyone thinks I'm so helpless!'



Kagome laughed it off. "Guys I can handle myself, I'm not that useless. Besides, I'll stay close to the village."



"Kagome you can take Kilala if you'd like" Sango offered, Kilala mewed happily.



"Thank you but I'm fine really"



"Kagome-"



"Sango I want to go alone please, don't worry I'll be fine." Kagome tried to say as nicely as she could while lining her tone with urgency.



Sango backed down, "All right Kagome"



Shippo growled "Knowing that fool he's probably out looking for Kik-"



Miroku grabbed the little fox and muffled his last words in the sides of his robes.



"M-Miroku!!" Shippo sputtered against his grasp.



"He'll be back looking for you soon, so you should just stay." Miroku persisted with a nervous laugh



"No, I'm gunna go look" Kagome said slinging her back pack onto her shoulder. Something told her that she would need to leave right away.



As she walked away from the hut she heard Sango argue with her husband.



“Don't cover for his ass!” Sango hissed smacking him with her wooden spoon.



“Its better then the truth…” He said solemnly



Kagome sighed and tried to ignore what the 'truth' really meant.



She walked down the path towards the forest "Inuyashaaaa!" she called out



Frustration welled up in her 'Where could he be?!'



'There's one place he could be…' A small voice taunted in the back of her mind



"No he wouldn't" she whispered



'But... what if he is.' The thought pushed.



"Inuyasha!" she called out a little more desperately



Suddenly something slithery skimmed her ankle, making her jump and scream out in shock. She turned to see one of Kikyo's soul collectors slithering by her.



Her heart dropped 'No…'



It seemed to look right at her then it hissed, she gasped and backed away. 'Is this a warning?'



It turned and glided away into the trees. Kagome stood still for a few moments.



Her shoulders sunk. 'I knew it' she thought bitterly.



'There's nothing more here Kagome. You know where he is now just go back tot the village. You don't want to see them together.' Her subconscious told her.



She turned to walk back towards the village but stopped and clenched her fists "No I wont run. I can't ignore it this time, I have to confront them about this once and for all. I-I need to know" She growled and hesitantly walked forward following the soul catcher.



She could feel the familiar feeling of Inuyasha's demonic aura in the area.



'Kikio will know that I'm here.' she thought as she felt the strong pulsing spiritual energy. Pushing past the bushes she followed the soul collector 'She didn't even bother to put up a barrier' she though curiously



And that's when she saw them together in the depths of the forest in a small clearing, Kikyo was hugging him and he was whispering something into her ear.



`Sweet nothings' Kagome thought reading it in a romance novel once. She felt her whole body flinch as Kikio kissed Inuyasha softly on the forehead. Kagome frowned. 'How rude!' She thought towards Kikio, 'She has to know I'm here, and if so then that's just plain low to do that in front of me.'



She wanted to run but couldn't help but stare at the scene before her.



His ears twitched and he turned to look right in her direction. There eyes met and Kagome gasped.



'Don't run Kagome.' She chanted in her head stepping out of the dark brush of the Forrest.



Inuyasha just stared at her, and she just stared back.



Kagome's heart pounded as she unconsciously stepped forward out from behind the tree and walked towards them. Her frantic mind telling her to turn back.



Kikio now turned to her, her beautiful face etching a scar across Kagome's now weak confidence.



`Don't look at me.' Kagome mentally pleaded, but Kikio's eyes pierced through her.



Kikio hastily separated herself from Inuyasha 'Caught in the act. Hmm, It's not like her to be so withdrawn from Inuyasha while I'm here.' She could feel Kikio's spiritual energy pull on her, and Kagome flared her aura to brush her off. Kikio's eyes looked slightly shocked.



Kagome focused back to Inuyasha, and she could feel her eyes burn with a familiar tingle, 'No, stay strong. You can do this!' She told herself.



She could feel her hands shaking uncontrollably at her sides, her wobbly knees propelling her forward until she suddenly stopped. 'Oh gods, I never thought I'd get this far... w-what do I say?' Kagome mentally panicked so she did all her body was willing to give up.



"Choose" Escaped her trembling lips more forcefully then she had expected. It felt like she had just released something that had been in captivity since the day she knew she loved him.



A sudden sense of relief filled her. 'I said it?... I finally said it!' Feeling her confidence rise, she spoke again. “Please... right now, me or her because I can't... I can't do this anymore.”



He said nothing, he just stared at her stunned not knowing what to say like always. 'I shouldn't have even bothered.'



She felt foolish for putting herself out there, she felt worse for spilling her emotions like a hopelessly love struck woman, how embarrassing! And in front of Kikio no less. What had happened to her? She was doing just fine standing by his side all these years acting naive in this ridiculous love triangle. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth shut? Why couldn't she just let it all go?



'Because love acts in crazy ways,' She laughed bitterly '...mama said that it's was up to me to choose the right path. But what if I was wrong all along and I chose the wrong path? What if it was wrong of me to stay?'



Inuyasha stepped towards her "Kagome, wait."



Shaking 'no' she couldn't bare to hear the words she dreaded. So she turned and ran ignoring his call out to her.



'Why can't I let my feelings for him go!' Her mind screamed, tears flowing in the wind.



***End Kagome's flash back***






The morning light shone through the small opening in the roof cascading along the walls and floor where the couple lay.



The fire was now gone leaving in the middle of the small hut, a crackling and dying smoulder.



Kagome's eyes fluttered as she regained consciences.



Her first thought-'Oh god, my head hurts!'



Her heavy eyelids cracked open and strained to focus in the piercing sunlight. Her head throbbed painfully inducing an incoming wave of nausea, 'What happened to me, why do I feel like this?'



Her body was stiff and clammy against something warm and smooth beneath her, 'Oh god, where am I?' She thought staring dumbly at the unfamiliar wall across from her.



Then something dawned on her. She was sleeping on something unnatural to that of her sleeping bag or a mattress. She struggled to prop herself up by her weak shaking arms as all her muscles tore with each movement. With a wince and a groan she glanced down at Inuyasha's graceful face as he slept on.



She blushed, 'Inuyasha? But why am I sleeping on him?'



Her body's movement made her notice something else strange. She felt so bare as if she weren't wearing clothes. But why? Looking down between them her stomach lurched into her throat, 'I-I'm completely...'



Inuyasha's eyes opened quickly, he had sensed Kagome's panic which rudely awoke him from his peaceful sleep. He now stared up at the dumfounded girl above him with wide and equally shocked eyes. 'Oh shit, shit, shit shit shit!' Inuyasha's mind panicked as he laid there as still as he could, waiting for her reaction.



As soon as their eyes met Kagome's face shot up in flames, she yelped out in shock, pushing up from her position and backing away from him.



"AH! NO WAIT KAGOME!" Inuyasha panicked as she uncovered him and took his Haori with her.



Smashing her back up against the wall she stared at him confused and slightly scared. She had grabbed the Haori that was draped over her and hugged it close to cover herself. Then she realized something else that was now hard to miss. Inuyasha was just as naked as she was, minus the Haori. Her eyes glanced down his lean muscular body and inevitably rested on his member. Inuyasha just sat there in all his glory before her, sputtering on what to say not even realizing that he should have covered himself. Looking down to what she was so stunned at he cursed at himself, but it was too late for him now.  



She yipped and covered her eyes, not believing she had just shamefully stared at his... his! "Why are you?!... Why am I?!..."



Kagome swore her face would burn off from embarrassment.



Memories of the night before flashed through Kagome's mind. Inuyasha embracing Kikio in the depths of the forest, Kagome asking him to finally choose and him not giving an answer. The trouble in the river and losing the jewel shard, Feeling the unforgiving coldness of the night and succumbing to the darkness and Inuyasha's rough plea's for her to stay awake. Then… nothing.



She heard shuffling and without thinking she looked back up to see him moving closer to her. Clamping her eyes shut she covered her face with her hands once again, and she screamed. "SIT!"



The hut groaned and cracked underneath his weight as he slammed down against the floor.



"Bitch!" He growled out, "Will you just listen!"



"Sit!!"



"Kag-" *thud* "K-Kagomeeee!" He whined.



"Y-You pervert! What where you doing with me! Where are my clothes?!" She fumed.



He crawled over to his Hakama and hastily tugged it on before she would sit him again. "Doing with you? Keh! Wench I didn't do anything to you! I'm not like the fucking monk!"



"Then why were you naked!" she screeched eyes still covered.



"Because somebody thought they could run around in the middle of the fucking night, in the forest without her bow and arrows! and nearly drowned us both by falling into the fucking river! I dragged your ass out of there, no one else!" He snapped standing up and fastening his belt.



Inuyasha's memory suddenly clicked in, "And then you have the decency to call me an ass after YOU lose the jewel shard!"



Kagome blinked. "I called you a what?..."



"Keh, you know what you said, you think I forgot? Well guess again missy!" He said narrowing his eyes accusingly.



"I never!" She challenged, but suddenly remembered her small out burst.



"Fine! don't admit it! But thats the last time I fucking save your life! You ungrateful woman!"



Kagome flushed in frustration, she knew he was right. He must have saved her last night from hypothermia from what she remembered of her cold memories. She felt ashamed and embarrassed for calling him an ass, to be fair she didn't even remember saying it till now. Part of her was feeling guilty but the better half was ticked at how hypocritical he was being.



"Look who's talking! You just go off without a word just like last time! You told me you'd bring me back Inuyasha and you've never been late before." She turned her body slightly trying to cover herself with his Haori and was careful not expose herself to him, she stayed close to the wall for the extra cover.



Inuyasha looked down clenching his fist, he knew he was at fault for that, he knew he was supposed to retrieve her from her time and he had forgotten, when he had been talking to Kikio the night before. But that meant... it's all his fault then?



'Feh! fat lot it's all my fault! She's just as much to blame!' His stubbornness butted in.



"You told me you would stay by my side Inuyasha, and I believed in you." She lowered placing a hand against the wall, her back turned away from him. " When you never came last night I got worried, so I looked for you... I knew who you'd be with, it's not like it was a shocker. But I was scared that you left again, and this time forever." She bit back her tears, "I always had a feeling that the time you left, you had run off to Kikio. But I thought the group and I meant more to you than that. At least I thought we deserved a good bye."



Closing his eyes to keep cool, he took in a deep breath, 'I have to tell her, maybe then she'll understand...'



"Kagome that time I left, I didn't go to Kikio…"



"You're a poor liar Inuyasha." She said bluntly, turning to look at him, her expression bored of his same story. 'It's not like it's the first time he's lied about seeing her'



Huffing out in frustration he approached her again, "I'm not lying Kagome!"



"Inu-"



Inuyasha's mouth went dry as he struggled to say his next question. "You don't trust me anymore… do you?"



Kagome looked deeply into his eyes her hazel orbs shinning with new tears. She let them run down her cheeks and with a small sob she choked out, "No..."



She wiped away her tears furiously with the loose sleeves 'Stop crying Kagome, you've cried enough over him!'



His heart pierced with pain and he looked at her in shock. "Kagome..."



"I'm sorry Inuyasha" she sniffed, "You're my best friend. I trust you with my life but time and time again you have shown me that I can't entrust you with my heart. I just hurt so much, so much it feels like I can't breathe anymore. Can you please let me breathe?"



His anger started to rise once again but not at her, at himself. 'I didn't know I affected her so much, I never knew I would hurt her like this. Have I waited too long? I un-intentionally toyed with her and now she's going to leave me because she still thinks I'm in love with Kikio.' His mind hissed



'I'm going to lose her forever because of my weakness... Just like I had with Kikio. Kagome showed me how to trust again, she shed tears for me, fought for me and bled for me. Now look at what I've done to her.'



'Say it, just say it! Suck up your man pride and say what you feel!' A voice told him, swallowing hard he knew it was now or never.



"I chose you..." he finally got out. Feeling a little stupid at how blunt it sounded, he regretted not saying something else first. He had hoped that when he had the opportunity do so that he would have discussed this with her more intimately and not as an act of desperation. But like the most part of his life, things he wanted always tended to be just out of reach, making his life alone an endless struggle. The gods truly hated him.



Kagome looked at him unbelieving, blinking twice. "Wh-what?"



He stepped closer to her, "I choose you Kagome"



Her heart leapt in joy, hearing the words she had wanted to hear for as long as she could remember, but part of the moment was ruined by her conflicted emotions. Not sure if he was saying this just to please her, for his own selfishness or that he truly meant it. "Please Inuyasha... Don't." She quivered.



"Kagome I-Chose-You." He persisted.



"Stop! Just please stop!" She yelled covering her face in the Haori.



"Stop what Kagome? Telling you what you wanted to hear! I'm telling you I chose you, isn't that what you wanted!?"



Choking out a sob Kagome struggled to hold back her tears "I can't…"



"Can't what Kagome!"



She spoke quietly now, her words lined with hurt as she uncovered her face to look at him. "...I can't do this anymore."



"Can't, can't, can't! Is that all you can say to me Kagome? Your never one to give up on anything, so what happened now!?"



"What else do you want me to say Inuyasha?! Do you want me to continue just smiling like always and accepting that you love another? You say you chose me but that's a flat out lie, if you chose me you would have said it in front of Kikio when I asked. But you couldn't even say it... you couldn't even say it in front of her! I'm only human Inuyasha, like you've told me time and time again. A weak human with a weak heart!"



His heart leapt in panic as he felt her pull away, "Kagome, I don't-"



"Why are your hurting me?" She pleaded, "Why can't you just let me go, it's obvious that you want her and not me, so why can't you let me go!"



"I wont let you go!" He declared



She gasped, her heart looking to him for the truth but she felt helpless in her unsuccessful search of anything but unknown determination from his eyes.



'He's not serious, I know he's just trying to compromise. He's too afraid to give me up, like I'm afraid to give him up'. But she wasn't even sure she believed herself.



She bit her lip hard, almost enough to draw blood. Had she really lost so much hope in him? She had never felt this much confusion and this extent of uncertainty towards Inuyasha, she didn't know what to believe anymore.



Still feeling defensive she came to her own conclusion, "You can't decide between us can you?" She bit out. "You can't choose between me and Kikio so you keep me at bay. Who ever is more convenient for you to stand by am I right?"



"Bitch, aren't you listening to a single word I'm saying?"



'Mate' His demon finally piped up 'Mark her as mine, mark her now she is ripe and ready for me!'



And with that he broke.



"I left because of you!" He admitted loudly



Kagome gasped looking back up at him.



"The time I left, I left because of you Kagome. I promised I wouldn't hurt you-'"



"How dare you!" She said breathlessly "HOW DARE YOU BLAME THIS ON ME! I CAN'T HELP HOW I FEEL FOR YOU!"



He'd had enough of her irrational thoughts he was now absolutely determined to make her listen. His future mate would come to understand the circumstance, even if it kill him in the process.



"God damn it Kagome, you're making this so fucking hard!!" He yelled making her freeze, he had never taken this kind of tone with her.



"I'm not blaming you for anything!" He grabbed onto her shoulders and made her focus on him. "I left because my demon chose you Kagome, it wanted me to do something that I didn't know if you would want... I mean-it wanted me to…" He paused he couldn't up right and tell her that his demon wanted to mark her as his, or take her as his. None of this was how he wanted to explain to her. But his mouth kept moving "I sought out Miyoga to ask him questions... I left for your safety! I left because I promised I would protect you even if it was from myself! I chose you long ago Kagome, and that's why I never came. I knew Kikio was in the area last night, I knew she had come to speak with Kaedey and I wanted to tell her first, I needed to finally tell her so I could go on with my life! She deserved that much!"



She stared up at him with wide eyes filled with hurt and glimmering hope. "Inu-"



"Tell me to sit Kagome, tell me to sit until the earth swallows me whole. Hate me, hit me, I don't care. Because if you leave thats what I want... I can't... I won't lose you," he whispered into her ear. "I know it's too much to ask but I need you to trust me again. I don't care how long it takes, just please... trust me."



She stood in shock "Inu-yasha..." feeling her emotions well up in her, she damn near shattered in his arms. Sobbing into his shoulder she felt him loosen his grip on her and smoothly snake his arms around her waist holding her close.



'I do trust you Inuyasha, it just hurts right now. I can't hate you, I wont ever hate you… I love you.' She thought to herself not sure if she was brave enough to have those words come out of her mouth yet. She just held onto him tighter, crying harder, so confused on what to say or think.



They stood silently in each others embrace until Kagome finally spoke again.



"Inuyasha?"



"Yes" he whispered wanting to hear her say anything.



"I'm sorry I never listen to you. It's just that-"



"Keh, damn straight your sorry. You never let me get one word in wench, and then you go act all crazy!"



"I-I'm sorry" she lowered.



"I don't want to hear it woman. I've told you that I've chosen you and thats all there is too it"



She pulled away slightly to look at him "Is it really that simple after all these years? what about Kikio, and what will become of her and you?"



"She lives on for the soul purpose of destroying Naraku and to getting rid of the shikon jewel once and for all. Kagome... Kikio no longer desires me to join her in hell if that's what your worried about. She renounced that long ago and I no longer want any of that. We both only wish for the other to be happy. Kikio is no longer of this world I have come to terms with this as hard as it was and still is. But know this Kagome, I won't put Kikio over you ever again, she chose her own path and as long as it did take for me, I finally chose the right path."



'The right path?…' Kagome thought thinking of her mothers words, 'is it as easy as that to choose another path after so many mistakes?'



"Whats there to say she won't want it again, and you'll go to her."



Sighing, he was now exasperated by his constant pleas for her to trust in him, "I won't, Kagome I promise."



"I feel so selfish It's not fair that you to have to choose between something like this. I'm sorry I was so… so uncontrollable. It just-"



"Can you just be happy for a moment Kagome? Kikyo and I were mutual on this. You shouldn't have to feel bad for anyone, you care to much about others and not of yourself."



Pulling away to look down to her, his eyes searching for her warmth and trust she once had in him, and he saw it. A light glimmer in her eye caught him and pulled him in closer. Looking down at her lips and then back at her now half lidded eyes.



"Inu…Yasha"



She could feel her heart beat rise and her cheeks glow in the rising warmth in her stomach as he leaned closer.



"Listen Kagome your not weak and you have the strongest heart I've ever known." He whispered gently, not taking his eyes off her. "You showed me how to trust in people once more and now your trust in me has faltered. I feel selfish for doing that to you... I'm so sorry," he embraced her tighter. "I'm sorry for all I've done to hurt you."



He gazed deeply into her soul with his swirling honey eyes, something in them was so different then she had ever seen before. The complete tranquility they had calmed her storming emotions and cleared her mind.



'What is he? Oh...' She blushed as he leaned ever closer, 'Were so close and were all alone...' and with that thought she drifted.



Kagome's body set ablaze realizing what was going to happen, she could feel his breath lingering over hers.



His heart pounded in his ears, his soul yearning for the woman before him and he knew she wanted him just as bad. He could feel her body quivering under his touch as his hand lightly cupped her cheek, and with that both their body temperatures rose with excitement. Her sent was intoxicating, it made his senses feel high and all his thoughts were lost into her. He could even taste her on his tongue, she was sweet, addicting and he hadn't even kissed her yet. His instincts told him it was up to him to close the last inch of distance between them. He held his breath, nervous that he may scare her away with doing anything to abrupt, but he went in for the kill anyway, holding her painfully against him.



There lips touched and sent shocks through their systems. It was a feeling neither Kagome or Inuyasha had ever felt, it was a pure loving light. There was a slight hesitation on both parts as they touched, but the kiss seemed so natural for the two. It was an all new experience so they held still as stone, as if both were taking the time to memorize the feeling. Their gently lingering brush of the lips felt like everything was coming together for once between them.



'It never felt like this, the first time I kissed Kik...' his mind absently thought but it quickly drifted away as her sent spiked and he became all to aware of her body's aura surrounding him. His demon growled in approval within.



'My first real kiss and it's with Inuyasha' She thought, tears streaming down her face. She had known for the longest time that her first real kiss was owned by Inuyasha and Inuyasha alone. Her eyes drifted shut as she gently pressed herself into his touch, relaxing her body and whimpering softly against him. He pressed back welcoming her essence.



Inuyasha smelt her tears and reluctantly pulled away looking down at her with concerned eyes. Was there something wrong? Had he scared her? No, she didn't smell afraid.



Her name came out in a heated breath, "Kagome?"



She looked up a him with her passionate warm eyes, her pink lips and rosy cheeks reminding him of the tender kiss they just shared. She did not look upset nor angry at him, she emanated a pure feeling, a loving feeling towards him. Something he wanted to keep forever.



Her body had screamed in protest as he pulled away almost whimpering out loud, Kagome felt as though she was close to combusting from her fiery stomach flutters. She stared up at his golden orbs that analyzed her carefully. 'He think's something's wrong.' She smiled at his concern.  



Whispering his name so gently, "Inuyasha"



He blushed hard "Did- did I do something wrong. Did I hurt you? Did-"



She shook her head slightly silencing his nervous stammering.



"No" she spoke brokenly and began to whimper softly.



His ears flattened "Y-your crying?"



He didn't know what to do to console her, he mentally panicked 'I'm an idiot, I fucked up bad... b-but what did I do?' Staring down at her shaded eyes covered by her bangs he felt like an idiot for not knowing how to console her.



Kagome took a sharp breath to cry out, "I'm sorry I doubted you Inuyasha!"



He breathed in relief  'That's why she's crying?'



His eyes softened and he sighed "Kagome please don't cry." He took her chin and slowly tilted her up.



Her bottom lip trembled, her eyes glistened beautifully in the morning light and her tears added a sweet sense of vulnerability to her that attracted him in a strange way. Her hair was wild and untamed and her body felt warm moulded against him. He wiped her tears away with his index finger whispering soothingly, "Don't cry for me Kagome, I don't deserve it."



"I love you" She whispered breathlessly.



He gasped, her words caught him off guard, "You- you what?"



More tears ran down her face but she smiled warmly, "I love you Inuyasha. I always have and always will."



"Kagome... I-I..."



He felt tongue tied and unprepared. 'Should I say it back?' His heart beat was frantic. 'I can say it, I gotta say it... just say it!'



His mouth flapped open like a cloth in the wind and hushed out air like so.



'God damn why can't I say it!' He growled at himself, he knew he wasn't use to this kinship of emotion, He swore he'd stay bye her side and protect her with his life. There wasn't much more a man really needed to say other than to lay claim on his woman. But Kagome was special, she would hear those words from him for the first time. But why? Why couldn't he speak the words he wanted to say to her now?



She shook her head and placed a finger lightly against his lips. "Say it when your ready Inuyasha."



Frowning a little he protested "But I am re-"



"When your truly ready" she insisted gently.



He looked down into her glowling loveing eyes 'If I can't tell her now I'll just show her'



With that he crushed his lips against hers and she welcomed him feverishly, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close. The fold of his Haori slipped open, her body exposed to him once again but her mind was so focused on him that she barely even notice.



His hands slowly roamed her body and he grew bolder with each passing minute. Inuyasha wanted to feel every last inch of her, every memory of watching her bathe slowly did not do her body justice. Her curves were sensual, Intimidating, and Inviting. Kagame really had developed into a woman right before his very eyes over the years he'd known her and now he was slowly losing himself to her spiking arousal.



'F-fuck' He thought in awe at the little reactions her body had when he touched her gently at the small of her back, her hip, her stomach...Her dazes brain could barely comprehend exactly what her body was reacting too, the feelings were frightening and exciting to Kagome. 'What is he doing to me?'



Their kiss deepened and he dared to part her mouth with his tongue.



She welcomed it, eagerly relishing in the amazing new sensation running through her as their tongues smoothly dance against one another. Moaning into him he explored every inch of her mouth and she meekly complied with him, hesitantly trying to take some boldness of her own and running her tongue against his fangs. It sent an exciting jolt through her and earned a groan from Inuyasha as the pool in her stomach grew stronger.



'Oh no, he can smell... th-that!' she realized as he seemed to react more when she would feel the familiar sensation below grow more heated.



Kagome's hesitation and shyness nearly overwhelmed her burning desires as soon as he clasped her breast and kneaded it gently between his fingers. It was almost too much for her but his hands roamed over her body, one now grazing the flesh of her belly and the other underneath, lifting her to press her against his bare chest. She felt as though she were gliding through the clouds and then landed gently onto the cold wooden ground.



He had easily lifted her and lowered her to the floor, crawling over her in animalistic perusal he acted on his instincts alone and was completely lost in the motions of her body.



'Oh god were so close, and I'm practically naked. This is so embarrassing! I can't believe were doing this!' She thought through her haze.



His clawed hand grazed her inner thigh and it snapped her back to reality, he trailed a claw closer, closer, closer...



Her virgin side finally got the better of her and she tore her mouth away to protest but suddenly he latched onto her neck suckling tenderly and rendering her mute.



His hand moved on its own he could feel his demon blood boil and a voice far away telling him to stop. But the woman beneath him, his mate, was reacting to him so deliciously. Her small groans as he touched her goaded his dangerous presual. His instincts knew all to well what she needed and who was he to protest?



'My bitch' The demon growled. Inuyasha could feel his fangs throb painfully. Something about the pulse of her neck currently at his mouths attention drew him to the thought of his fangs against her.



'Claim her pure blood.' The demon repeated.



His growl rumbled against her neck and she awoke from her euphoria.



"Ah, Wait Inu-" Closing her legs instinctively she trapped his hand between her thighs and she croaked out a gasp.



"Inu-Inuyasha s-stop."



Her shaking voice and gentle hands against his chest brought him back from his demon state.



He pulled away from her neck and heaved for air struggling to regain his control against her breast. 'Fuck, I almost got too carried away!' he could now smell her anxiety 'I almost... and she's not ready...damn it.' He raked his claws from his free right hand against the wood beside her nearly breaking up the floorboard. He growled realizing what his demon had been wanting.



'Claim her pure blood,' it no doubtably meant her virgin blood. 'I was so close to marking her.' He thought in disbelief, realizing the throb of his fangs were all too real.



Kagome stared up at the sealing gasping for breath all-to self aware of the hand trapped between her upper thighs and his heated breath against her goose fleshed chest. She slightly relaxed and his hand slinked away from her and rested it at her side to hold himself up over her.



"I'm s-sorry Inuyasha. I-I've never... I'm just...scared." She stuttered in her humiliation, covering her face with the back of her arm unable to deal with what had just happened. 'Oh, no that sounded stupid. He hates me, he hates me! I can't believe I just did that!!'



Inuyasha flushed face burning red at the admission of her virginity, and he was all to aware of that factor,  'She's was scared... How could I be so careless, how could I let this go too far. She doesn't even understand what almost happened' his thought raged with guilt 'She's scared... of me.'



Figuring it was best not to tell her he suddenly felt a wash of guilt for almost taking advantage of her. Although he truly did not mean to go so far, He couldn't control himself. "No Kagome, you don't have to apologize. I'm sorry I-I got carried away... forgive me." He lowered.



'I'm deplorable,' his conscience butted in over powering the angered demon within him telling him to 'Mark her!



Past voices plagued him at the moment 'Filthy half breed!'



His soul never felt so low 'You mother was nothing but a demon whore!'



Those memories scarred him, and now for some reason he felt as though he were now throwing Kagome into a situation she didn't want to be in. How would people treat her if she were to be with him? Inuyasha had never thought of that before until now. 'Damn it...I'm so selfish... I never thought about what would happen to Kagome if she were to be with me...'



"Inuyasha?" she meekly asked



'I nearly marked her without permission, I might as well have almost raped her' his gut wrenched at the thought.



Sitting up and bringing her with him he pulled her into his arms to sit between his legs and out of respect for her modesty, took the folds of his kimono and covered her securely.



Surprised by his auras sudden change she recognized the emotion it emanated, it felt so... guilty. He must have smelt her fear when he had touched her so close to her...



Blushing at his abrupt movement knowing he would see her naked body, she noticed his eyes were casted away from her shamefully. She frowned, 'He's upset?'



He pulled her into an embrace from behind she smiled as he covered her with the Kimono that she still loosely wore. "Inuyasha?"



"I'm sorry" he whispered



Leaning back against him to show some comfort she took his left hand and draped it under her bust, implying that she wanted him to embrace her and to show she wasn't upset with him.



"It's ok Inuyasha, you didn't hurt me" she blushed to herself as she took his hand into hers and absently traced the palm of the hand that caused her such a frenzy.



He shifted uncomfortably, "But... you were scared."



He rested his chin on her shoulder and watched as she lightly touched his hand and intertwined there fingers.



"A little," she admitted coyly. "But not of you! Just... scared of what I was feeling."



Squirming a little Kagome closed her eyes tightly 'I can't believe I just said that to him!'



"Kagome... are you sure you want to be with me?" he suddenly asked  



Kagome felt as if she were punched in the gut, was he already regretting his decision?



"W-what do you mean" She asked afraid of saying anything else.



"I mean... do you want to be with a halfbreed?" Inuyasha tensed "I mean, I heard what people would say about my mother... I just... I don't know if I can put you through that."



Kagome thought for a moment 'He's scared for me?' Feeling his emotions turn to fear. 'He thinks that people would hurt me if I were to be with him...' She thought sadly thinking  of Inuyasha's mother, and what Inuyasha must have experienced with her... she didn't even want to imagine.



"...and you didn't think of this before?" She simply said



"Well no... not really" He lowered



Kagome squeezed his hand gently, Inuyasha squeezed back. "I love you for the way you are Inuyasha, I don't care what others would think."



He swallowed hard, "But-"



"No but's, I said I don't care and I mean it, people can say what they want. I know you are just worried because of how your mother was treated...aren't you?" she felt him nod his answer against her shoulder.



"Well I'm stronger then that Inuyasha, you know you shouldn't take me so lightly." she said matter-of-factly.



He smiled sadly "I don't"



"good"



"Kagome."



"Yes?"



"Thank you."



she blushed and leaned heavier against his weight.



After a while his nerves finally calmed down. 'This feel's nice' Inuyasha couldn't remembered the last time he felt so... relaxed.



They stayed like that for a time, relishing in the feeling of each others warmth.



'Were finally together.' She thought with a smile.



'My Kagome' Inuyasha and his demon agreed.



'But we wont truly be able to live happily until Naraku is defeated, but this is more then enough for now. I'm happy with just this.' Kagome sighed happily.



A shadowed suddenly dawned over Kagome's new found happiness 'Wait, defeating Naraku?... The Jewel!'



"Oh my god!" She suddenly exclaimed.



"Ouch!" Inuyasha hissed as her sudden movement bumped his chin and made him bite his own tongue. "What, what is it?"



"The jewel!" Kagome said frantically turning to face him, "I lost the jewel!"



Inuyasha looked at her dumbly, tongue sticking out. "Yeah, I was there" he grumbled.



"Inuyasha were just sitting around and-" Kagome suddenly noticed something on the floor close to them. She picked up the tattered carcass of her skirt.



Her eye twitched "M-my new uniform..." she looked around to see more remnants of her clothes, her bra and underwear. Luckily she found her blouse and blazer decently intact, just a few rips here and there.



"Uh Yeah, Kagome I had to take it off, you were soaking wet... I-I didn't know what else to do!" Inuyasha explained frantically.



Picking up her bra and panties her eye twitched again, "With your claws." She said through clenched teeth.



Squeezing the cloths in her fist she looked to the ceiling in anger, 'Mama's going to kill me!'



Looking at her like a child who got caught doing something he shouldn't, Inuyasha hesitantly moved closer to her. "Kagome?"



"We'll talk about this later." She said rather darkly, standing up and fastening his haori more securely around her waist.



Inuyasha twitched, 'crap she's mad.' He watched her get up and could feel her aura radiating off her. 'Yup really mad. And here I thought we could have just sit here like this with each other for the rest of our days'


Kagome noticed all her things scattered on the ground next to her bag making her shoulders sink lower, she knelt down to pick up her favourite pocket mirror only to have shards of glass fall out. Mournfully tossing it away, she picked out the little things that were salvageable within the slop of dried papers like her comb, extra (wet) pair of underwear, socks, and a few other things.


Kagome grabbed her yellow bag, 'Don't look inside Kagome, don't look inside.' but she couldn't help herself, opening the straps she gazed into the dismal slop of ruined papers and books. 'All my notes!' She thought with a tear.



Picking up the Tetsuaiga where it had dropped last night without his notice and securing it in his belt, Inuyasha watched as Kagome slowly went deeper into a sad shadow of despair. He came to stand behind her solemnly saying, "I'm sorry about your things Kagome."



"No, no it's not your fault." She laughed sadly throwing out all destroyed materials in from her bag onto the floor, and putting back in anything that was reusable.



Inuyasha picked up her blouse and shoes, giving them to her hesitantly. She took them without a word and shoved the blouse and blazer into her bag, slipping on her shoes quickly. She turned to face him again and Kagome suddenly flushed at how close he had gotten to her once again.



"Umm, I never did thank you for saving me." She said timidly.



He snorted crossing his arms, "Keh! You need to not be so clumsy wench."



Kagome leaned up, placed a hand on his chest and slowly rose up to her tip toes. She pecked him gently on the lips and whipered. "Thank you."



A blush spread across his face "K-Keh"



She just smiled and pulled away looking down bashfully for making such a bold move. Suddenly turning to the door she took a more serious tone, and stopped just in front of the entrance, "Let's go find that jewel."



Inuyasha nodded "Right, Lets go!"



...
















A/N:
Man that took forever! haha, sorry for the late chapter I had hoped to have one chapter coming out every second week or so but Music festivals call my name!the first few chapters are going to start off a little slow so bear with me, the story line will develop soon enough.

Few things:This story is a bit different, Kagome is now in her last year of high school hence the new uniform I have included, which is much like the one she has in the anime's final act. She has only one jewel shard left with her leaving only Kohaku's and Koga's (2) left to retrieve. I haven't even really pin pointed where in the anime my story starts. so I'm just gunna go with my own flow and say "what ever happens happens."
sorry for any confusion for the hard core fans out there.PLEASE REVIEW!
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