InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Before The Fall: A Prologue of Sorts ❯ Scene Two, Part Two (or Kagome's Confession and Inuyasha's Contemplation) ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I do not, have not, nor will I ever own Inuyasha & Co. (sad as that may be), that honor belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. Furthermore, I do profess that I am making no money from this, only getting hours of enjoyment

The silence seemed to draw on forever.

In reality, it only took a few moments for Kagome to gather the rest of her courage and face him fully.

For his part, Inuyasha was suitably stunned. Kagome, however, was outwardly calm and collected, a small smile playing on her lips. He thought she looked rather luminous.

“I don't think I could not love you if I tried. You're my best friend, the person I turn to when things get rough, the one that I depend on to protect me; even if it's only from spiders.”

He wanted to laugh at this, reminisce about her irrational fear of the eight legged creatures. To tease her about how she jumped and clung to him, screeching all the while. Unfortunately, a lump had welled in his throat and it was enough to remember how to breathe.

“All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy, however you can. So if that happiness meant you were with Kikyo, I was okay with it. But…somewhere along the way I fell in love with you. I planned on keeping quiet and taking my secret to the grave to protect this friendship, because you're that important to me.”

His mind flashed though the year that he'd known her, desperately trying to find the sign that he had missed, the signal that things within her had changed.

“I know that Kikyo hurt you and I'm truly, truly sorry. It's not what I wanted. But you're wrong about one thing; I don't want to be her replacement at all. You deserve more than what she gave you.”

What did she know about it? He fumed before diffusing with a without a whimper. It wasn't like Kagome hadn't witnessed the bulk of the relationship…but she didn't understand. Kikyo wasn't as tough as she seemed. She was lonely and fragile, she needed him. If she needed you, she'd be with you a voice sneered inside his head. He summarily beat it into submission and told it to pipe down. Refocusing his attention on Kagome, she seemed to be waging an internal battle. She lifted her head again, her eyes piercing his. Apparently she'd won.

“I know that you don't want to hear this, but she wasn't good enough for you. I know that you can't see it, but I know that I was made for you. And I know that you can't deal with it right now, but we're meant to be together.”

His already battered heart clenched painfully. Kagome…

“Most of all, Inuyasha, I know you won't understand it, but I'll wait for you.” That odd little smile graced her face again. It made him nervous. “For you to realize that you can truly be happy. That everything I'm saying to you is genuine.”

He was pretty sure it was going to implode. Beating this fast wasn't healthy.

“I'll wait for you to be ready for me.”

Busy contemplating whether or not he'd be able to tell if his heart indeed imploded, his mouth used the distraction to take things over.

“What if I never am?” His hand went to his throat as his brain tried to regain control. Already in the process of opening the door, Kagome stopped and looked over her shoulder at him. Really? She tells you all of that and all you have to say is…she was grinning. Why was she grinning?

“You will be.” Stepping out, she stopped one last time and added in a humor-laced confident voice, “And when you are, I'll be there.”

The door closed and Inuyasha stared at it unmoving. She loved him. He loved Kikyo. Kikyo didn't love him. Preparing to beat the little voice down again, he realized that it was just him. Slumping heavily onto the bed, he balanced his chin on his fist, eyes fixed on the bare wall ahead of him. Kikyo… It was sinking in, much to his chagrin, that she was really gone. It was still hard to believe she was ever there.

He knew the others didn't get it, they thought he was an idiot for staying with someone like her but none of them understood. Not even that pretentious monk wannabe. She was as out of place here as he was, even more so since no one expected anything from a hanyou. Just wasn't so obvious. But it was true; she was the loneliest person he'd ever met. And she was the first to even try to talk to him, before Miroku's friendship or Sango's...whatever she was. Way before Kagome's exuberant acceptance. That's what it was. Acceptance. Miroku and Sango cared about him, he knew that, but they merely tolerated his black moods and bad habits. Kikyo identified with him, but despised his nature. Kagome however, acknowledged his flaws and accepted them as part of the package.

Stupid girl.

“You can only bring sadness to whomever you seek to be with. They would be ostracized, cast out. Just like you. Is that what you would want for your wife? Never mind if you were to have children. I mean, you know what you went though. It would be even worse.”

Didn't she know? Couldn't she see? Kikyo was right about him, she knew him, maybe more than anyone. No, no that wasn't fair, he frowned. Kagome knew him pretty well. Or she at least tried to. She was always in his face talking about feelings and memories, like the remembering the past ever did anyone any good. Then she came in here with all this talk about love and understanding…what did she know about it?

He'd been in love and there wasn't much to show for it. Broken furniture and split knuckles. A deeper and more complete understanding of the fact that he fit nowhere in this world. The constant feeling that his useless, pitiful heart was shriveling in his chest. And she had the nerve to stand there and say that none of that meant anything. Well, not exactly that but that was the idea; he knew how to read between the lines. She was lying anyway, she was just like her, and she would turn on him too. Promise the world then snatch it away…

It's not like he was all that excited about the idea of being human all that time- shit, he hated it when it was just for the night- but Kikyo was offering more than that. She offered him a place to belong, by her side, forever. Or for however long humans lived now. Just to take it back. Kagome would do it too.

You know she wouldn't. Coward.

He didn't have the energy to fight himself. Besides he knew Kagome was different, she always had been. Even in that first meeting when she rubbed his ear. He had expected her to yank them, something he hadn't let happen since early grade school, so he grabbed before he could properly register the soft caress. More surprising was the look of genuine wonder and delight on her face, almost as if she liked them. He couldn't move, even after she'd stepped back with the flush across her cheeks he came to know well, murmuring about the softness of his appendages. He figured she didn't know who - what - he was or was playing some elaborate prank. Maybe the bouzo and the slayer were in on it…except they looked as shocked as he did. If there was one thing he'd needed to survive, it was his ability to read people, but this girl? He had no idea. Even now it seemed. Flopping back onto the bed, he stared unseeingly at the ceiling dimly noting the comfort of fresh bedding.

“You're right. I do love you.”

Kagome.

She believed in him, trusted him, loved him. Did he…could he…? . He couldn't think about this, it was too much. Kagome was right, she was always right - he wasn't ready. Maybe he was right too. Maybe he'd never be…

“I'll wait for you…”

Then again, if he was wrong, it wouldn't be the first time.

A/N: I know, it's short. But it's not a cliffhanger! I wanted to say thank you again to everyone who reviewed: Pariah, ThisIsMeSmiling (the bonfire was the party from the first scene, no need to stress it; there may be more but I'm not sure yet), SummerNightsxxx, kschultea, Ashley Jo and Camille. You guys have no idea how much I love to hear back from you.