InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Between Love and Hate ❯ Chapter 4~Reflections and Remorse! ( Chapter 4 )

Between Love and Hate By Mija

Disclaimer~I dont own Inuyasha and Company.

Chapter 4~Reflections and Remorse!

~~~It had been a whole week. A week since Kagome had been back home in her time and her family was terribly worried about her. She had come threw the well one night in a bloody torn shirt and tears in her eyes. A haunted look was on her face and this worried them. They had asked her what had happened. She had broken down in tears and said she didnt want to talk about it. She had ran to her room that night and cried herself to sleep. The next few days her mother and brother and granpa had all tried to get her to talk but she had refused, and her face was getting paler and her eyes were always red from crying. But she would not tell them what had happened. She would just say it was something she needed to work out on her own. But as the week grew and she looked to be getting worse and not better the family grew more alarmed. She didnt eat, her face looked paler everyday and they could all hear her sobs during the night. They didnt know what to do, but something had to be done before she made herself terribly sick.

>BACK IN THE FUEDAL ERA THAT FIRST NIGHT<

~~~Everyone was distraught. They had all heard what Inuyasha and Kagome had said. They were torn. Part of them understood Inuyasha's reason, but could never ever condone or forgive the actions he had commited, but he had begged Sesshoumaru to bring them back to them so that had also confussed them more and made them realize that Inuyasha was truelly remorsefull for his terrible sin against Kagome and Yoshi. They didnt know what to do or think. Both were thier friends, and after the anger had faded, all that was left now was confussion and pain. They cared for both of thier friends, although Inuyasha had done something so vile towards Kagome, they knew in his heart that he had not really meant to. But did that give him an excuse? Should they forgive him and help he and Kagome out? It was all to confussing and Sango was tired and grief stricken still. She took Shippo, who was soo distraught that his entire body shook with heart ache and greif, and went back to Kaede's hut with Kaede following. Miroku stayed outside and looked over at Inuyasha.

"Come to finish me off monk??..." Inuyasha asked with sorrow and remorse, but Miroku heard the hope that he would end his suffering as well. The thought that Inuyasha wanted to die for his crime made Miroku ache for him. After all Inuyasha was his friend as well as Kagome. And although he had been livid and furious at Inuyasha for what he had done, now all he could think about was his friend and how he looked up there on the tree, beaten and bloody from the abuse the villagers had inflicted on him.

"No Inuyasha I havent come to finish you off..but you wish I would do you not?" he asked sadly.

"More than anything in this world...I deserve to die for what I did...please Miroku...please just kill me..suck me into your air rip and give me the oblivion I need so much..I cant bare this pain..this hurt and this guilt." Inuyasha replied point blank, almost pleading for Miroku to end his life. It only made Miroku more confussed and made his ache for Inuyasha.

"You deserve the guilt Inuyasha..you know this right?? what you did to Kagome..."

"Dont you think I know that Miroku??!!!...Gods I cant forget what I did..I cant stop the pain of knowing these hands harmed one single hair on Kagome's body, let alone killed her...do you think I wanted this??? do you think If I could change everything I wouldnt give my life to do it? Ive lost her Miroku and its all my fault..and I cant go on living with the thought of knowing that I will never have her in my life again...and to know that it was me who caused her soo much pain and agony..I want to die..please help me die.." Inuyasha pleaded, which broke Miroku's heart. He had been traveling with Inuyasha for years now and he had never seen his half demon friend so agonized, so turmoiled and so desperate to end his life.

"I dont know what to do Inuyasha...my heart tells me to do one thing and my mind and conscience the other..you are my friend and untill tonight I would never have believed you to have caused Kagome any physical harm...Im deeply troubled and have no easy answers for this situation."

"Yes you do...Kill me..end all of our suffering.." Inuyasha stated with determination.

"I can not my friend...if anyone has the right to end your life it would be Kagome..not me or anyone else.." Miroku stated as he finally came to the only conclusion he could. With that he went to Inuyasha and undid the binds that held him tied up. Inuyasha fell to the ground and stayed there, week in body but more in spirit and soul. Miroku tried to help him stand but Inuyasha pushed him away.

"You should of killed me...." Inuyasha replied in a chocked voice as he leapt up and fled from the village and his once friends. He had to run, run till he dropped. Run till he couldnt feel the pain in his heart and soul. No matter what happened, he would never forgive himself for what he had done. Nothing else mattered now, not even his payment to Sesshoumaru. He wanted to die and one way or the other he was going to, fuck Sesshoumaru and anything else. He just wanted to die.

"Why did you let him go?? how could you?!" Sango yelled at Miroku when he had come into the hut and told him what had happened. Shippo seemed to curl into a tighter ball and whimpered more. He was so distraught.

"I had to Sango...He did not deserve to be tied to that tree and beaten by the villagers like some animal..he is are friend." Miroku replied calmly.

"Our friend??!! He killed Kagome!!!!!!" Sango shouted as she started to sob again. Miroku held her but she pushed him away.

"Sango...Please understand..I love Lady Kagome like a sister as you do..but remember that Inuyasha is our friend as well...what he did...he had no control of what he did...you and I have seen his demon form and know that all rational thought leaves him...he had no control over it and yes he committed the most foulest of acts but he also begged his worst enemy to bring her back..he is in such pain Sango...he wishes to die...I could not let myself be the one to take his life from this world...before this happened...we all would of trusted him with our lives...he has saved us more times than we can count...he has stood by us in our worst moments and helped us threw some of the saddest times in our lives...do you remember when you wanted to kill Kohauku to free him from Naraku's control?? it was Inuyasha that stopped you and told you there was still hope...if you can forgive your brother for all he has done knowing he had had no choice in his acts then why cant you at least consider some compassion for Inuyasha??" Miroku asked, earning a glare from Sango and then a slap.

"How dare you bring my brother into this!!...This and that is totally diffrent..Kohaku doesnt have a choice hes being manipulated by Naraku...Inuyasha was not!" Sango raged.

"But Inuyasha was not of sound mind...we all know that his demon form might as well be like possesion because of the way he can not remember or control his actions...we all agreed that this was not the Inuyasha we know and love but someone else...we all understood it before...why should it be any diffrent?? We agreed long ago that we would stay by his side, even at the risk of being killed by his demon form, because he had always stood by us..." Miroku stated. Sango gripped his robes and cried into his chest. He was right. Everything he said was right. She knew this, but the pain of loosing Kagome and then having her back was like a wild ride she could not seem to stop. She loved them both, but she felt like she would betraying her dear friend if she took Inuyasha side and forgave him for what he had done to her. But Miroku was right. Nothing was as simple or cut and dry as it should be. She owed them both and loved them both. It hurt so much not to know what to do.

~~~That first week, they had not seen hide nor hair of Inuyasha or Kagome. Shippo was still distraught and looked like a ghost of his former self. Sango tried to comfort him as well as she could as did Miroku. Yoshi had left the village two days after Inuyasha. He had wanted to leave that night but hey had all agreed that with Inuyasha on the loose it might be better to have him there for a bit more. It was during those days that Sango heard from Yoshi something that made her think alot more about what had occured. Something both Inuyasha and Kagome should know. And she would tell Kagome first, if she ever came back. In the time that Kagome and Inuyasha were gone both Miroku and Sango had done alot of thinking. They recalled things and went over stuff that they thought that both needed to hear. Now if only they ever returned could they speak thier mind.

A/N~Okies guys heres chap 4 hope you like...I really try not to update on weekends cause frankly, me gets a bit tipsy on weekends..lol..its my down time, and I dont want to write some sucky full of spelling mistakes and nonesense to ruin things..so I dont do it..and its the same with reviews..lol..I may read fics but wont review for fear of leaving some unintelligable piece of crap..lol..so I will always reread and review once Im over the weekend..lol..anyway hope you like this and hope it was up to standard, let me know what ya think ok??? ty ty to you all much luv smiles and huggles read ya laters Mija..:-)