InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Between Love and Hate ❯ Chapter 6~More Reflections! ( Chapter 6 )

Between Love and Hate By Mija

Disclaimer~Dont Own Inuyasha and Company.

Chapter 6~More Reflections!

~~~Sango peered into Kaede's hut to check up on Shippo. He wasnt eating or responding to any of them at all and it was worring Sango deeply. Kaede forced broth down his mouth most times to keep him from starving but the kit was unresponsive. What his little eyes had seen had been too much for his little mind to take in and was in a state of shock. He had always considered Kagome his mother, and oddly enough, although he would never admit it, he thought of Inuyasha as the father he no longer had. Seeing his surrogate father kill his surragote mother had been something no child, not even a demon one should ever see. Then to be abandoned by both? Sango did not blame her for hiding from the world in his own mind. She wished she could do it as well, but she had many things to worry about to take that luxury.

~~~Sango sighed and left the hut. Right now Kirara was curled around Shippo, offering warmth and affection, hoping to bring her friend out of his state. Sango walked along the paths of the village and threw the forest towards the bone eaters well. She visited the well daily to see if Kagome had returned, or if Inuyasha was near by waiting for her as well, as he had always been want to do. But it was hopeless really. Inuyasha hadnt been around since the night Miroku had let him go, the night he had killed Kagome then begged Sesshoumaru to bring her back to life. Sango's mind kept reeling over the events. It was all to horrible and to much to think about, but the thoughts wouldnt stop. Miroku had left two days ago to look for Inuyasha. Partly for worry over him, for they loved him as much as Kagome, but partly worried about innocent villagers. An angry, pissed off, hurt and confussed Inuyasha was not a good thing. Not a good thing at all and they didnt want to see anyone get hurt, least of all Inuyasha. Now that Sango had had time to calm down and think on things, she too had seen to look on Inuyasha's face when he had learned that he had committed the foulest of deeds and killed Kagome.

~~~Inuyasha wanted to die. He did not care for life any longer. He had lost all hope, all desire and most of all he had lost Kagome. They had worried about him. They worried about Kagome as well but she had her family and her friends in her time to help her recover and heal from what had happened, Inuyasha didnt have any one but them. They were his friends, his family and they were the only ones who would care wether the half human half dog demon lived or died. That broke Sango's heart. She thought of herself and Miroku and thought about how much they had in common with Inuyasha. None of them had anyone but each other in thier lives. No one to love them, to care for them, to grieve for them but each other. At least she and Miroku had been loved, had had a family who had given them the best child hood they could ever hope for, but Inuyasha? He hadnt had that. Even as a child his life had been filled with pain, betrayal and loneliness. Then Inuyasha had dared to dream, dared to hope and love again, love Kagome and now..now she was gone. How could one forgive themselves for something like that? Yes Kagome was alive but she was out of his reach, even if Kagome came back and forgave him, he would never forgive himself or trust himself around her again. In essence, he had no reason to live and that scared Sango to death. She fell to her knees next to the well and put her palms in her hands and cried. Nothing would ever be the same again.

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~~~Back in the Modern times, Kagome walked from school, ignoring everything and everyone around her. Her friends had long since stopped trying to talk to her, stopped trying to get her attention and get her to tell them what was wrong. Even Kagome's family stayed clear from her most of the time. She seemed to ignore everyone. Thoughts just kept swirling threw her mind. She didnt know what was right and what was wrong anymore. She was so tired of thinking. What Inuyasha had done was unforgivable right? She had always thought men who hurt thier so called loved ones were nothing but walking scum, who deserved to die. But there lye the problem for her. She still loved Inuyasha. Yes she was affraid of him, feared that if she saw him and he tried to touch her in any sort of mannor, be it comforting or protectiveness, she would flinch from him and hurt him more. She knew he had been in pain, saw the sorrow in his golden orbs that night. She had been too hurt to care then, but now? Now after having alot of time to think about things, things were not as black and white as she had always thought.

~~~Kagome thought about Kikyo, how she had thought Inuyasha had betrayed her and her him, and pinned him to a tree, in essence killing him. Even though it wasnt Inuyasha's fault but Naraku's Kikyo still wanted to take him to hell with her, yet Inuysha forgave her and went to her time and time again. Could Kagome be so forgiving as Inuyasha? Then there was the other things she thought about as well. Was she any better than the men who abused thier wives or loved ones? She thought about all the times she had sat Inuyasha. He was half demon and healed alot faster and took alot more pain than them, but did that give her the right to hurt him? I mean he did hurt when ever she sat him, she could tell, even though his anger usually override the pain. And most times she usually sat him for something he said or did to piss her off, but he had never once put a hand on her before or after. In truth it was her doing to harm, punishing him for something SHE didnt like. She was the abusive one. Yes he yelled at her and called her names, but that didnt give her the right to inflict pain on him. No one had that right. And did she show remorse? No. But whenever Inuyasha had ever said an unkind word to her to make her sad or cry, he had been remorsefull, and apologetic.

~~~He looked like a sad and confussed puppy with those big amber eyes and flattened or twitching ears. She loved that about him. She loved it when he got over protective with her, yet he had never hurt her, ok so he tried to hurt others like Kouga or when they had first met Miroku, but never her. And what did she do? Sit him. Inflicting pain upon him for protecting her. Kagome sighed. Of course her sits and all were not anything compared to him killing her. But he had bought her back hadnt he?? She was so confussed. And what about the shards and her friends? Shippo?? She needed to go back, but how could she go back and face Inuyasha, not knowing how she would react to him? Worse? How would she feel if she didnt see him at all cause he was no longer around? She didnt know if she could handle that. But she had to go back she thought. She had to face him and come to terms with this. She couldnt live like this anymore. If she couldnt find a way to forgive and face Inuyasha then she would leave her shards with him and the others and leave. She didnt want to cause herself or him any more pain than neccasary. Either way she had to go back to find out one way or the other what she needed to do.