InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Beyond Friendship: Be Who You Are ❯ Dark Secrets ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 4 - Dark Secrets

Inuyasha fidgeted for the twenty third time with his shirt, opening and closing the first button. Did he look ok? Did he look like a punk? How did one dress on dates these days, especially with another guy?

Inuyasha had never been on a date before; not that he had had no opportunities but he had just never felt like taking a crush any further. This was the first time that he dared to give an expression to his feelings. Of course, Sesshoumaru had understood him far more than he had ever planned or hoped for but still. Here he was, waiting for his 'boyfriend' to come pick him up. He was very uncomfortable and self-conscious. Damn it he just knew something was going to go wrong today! Sesshoumaru would be disgusted with him for behaving inappropriately and then he would blow his chance.

Inuyasha glared at his reflection in the mirror. He'd never in his whole life spent so much time scrutinizing his appearance. Because generally, he just left the apartment with a fleeting glance at the mirror to just make sure that he was not wearing his clothes inside out or that he didn't have a booger in his nose and stuff. But today made up for all those days and years.

How had he never noticed that his nose was so weird? He was sure everyone's nose was not shaped like this. What if Sesshoumaru hated his nose? And his bangs just would not stay combed no matter how much he tried. They ended up getting mussed. Thankfully, he had relatively manageable hair but it was no where near as beautiful as Sesshoumaru's.

Finally realizing that he was going to be late if he didn't leave soon, Inuyasha took one last look at himself in the mirror and then left the apartment.

He had told Sesshoumaru that he would meet him downstairs in front of his apartment building. Inuyasha wondered why Sesshoumaru had invited him to his place. Didn't people normally go for a movie or a coffee or dinner or something on a date? But truth be told, Inuyasha could hardly see the guy in a movie theatre or a coffee shop; he seemed too classy for such things. Oh well…he probably had far more experience with this kind of thing than him. It was best to let him make the arrangements.

Come to think of it, he had no idea where Sesshoumaru lived. He had only ever seen him leave the school in his limo. Would he be picking him up in a limo? He also knew nothing about him or his family or anything. Would it be awkward? Should they have tried being friends first?

He snapped put of his musings as a beautiful, midnight blue car slid to a stop in front of him. Everyone standing around stared; no one in this part of town had this kind of a car. Hell, Inuyasha did not know that anyone in the country had a car like that! It was not his usual discreet black limo. This car was designed to grab the eye but not in a flashy, in your face kind of way. It was more of a classy, can't be ignored kind. Inuyasha stood awkwardly as the chauffeur stepped put and opened the back door of the car for him. Inuyasha shuffled forward and got in clumsily got in. Sesshoumaru was sitting next to him.

"Uh…hi," Inuyasha mumbled.

"I hope you are ready?" Sesshoumaru asked.

He nodded.

They rode in silence for a while. After some time, Inuyasha glanced out the car window. It seemed like they were leaving the main part of the town now. Inuyasha had never really been in this part before because it was quite out of the way. He had heard that a forest began where the town ended but he had not yet got around to being there.

The car finally took a narrow winding path into the trees. Inuyasha assumed that this was the beginning of the forest. The road the car had taken was not tarred or cemented but it was very smooth - or maybe the car was that good. Inuyasha stared ahead as humongous iron gates that he had until now read about only in books, opened of their own accord in front of the car. A magnificent mansion loomed ahead. The car passed well-kept lawns with a beautiful fountain. The mansion seemed to be made entirely of stone. It had an old, almost ancient feel about it.

The car came to a stop in front of him. The chauffer immediately jumped out and opened the door for Sesshoumaru and then for Inuyasha.

"Wow," Inuyasha muttered softly, staring at the beautiful, imposing mansion.

Sesshoumaru led him inside. The interior was just as beautiful as the exterior. The house held a curious feel of ancient mixed with the modern. Although the there were state of the art cameras and soft, subtle lights, the structure of the castle seemed…old, as if it were made in ancient times, in the time of the ancient Lords and warriors.

Sesshoumaru led him past many corridors, up a staircase to, what Inuyasha assumed, was his room. Inuyasha felt a little weird. Was it normal for a guy to invite someone to their room on the first date? But then again, Sesshoumaru didn't seem like the desperate, lecherous types so Inuyasha waited.

"Mother and father are away," Sesshoumaru told him as he held the door open. "Please make yourself at home."

But Inuyasha was wrong. It wasn't Sesshoumaru's room that they entered. The door opened to a terrace. It was a large, open area and in the centre were placed a table and some chairs. They seated themselves and a servant appeared and bowed.

"Would you like a tea or a coffee, Inuyasha?" Sesshoumaru asked.

Inuyasha fidgeted. "Umm…tea please."

Sesshoumaru murmured something to the servant who bowed and left. Inuyasha found all this distinctly strange. The servants at this place seemed very respectful and well-trained. Inuyasha was sure chauffeurs and paid servants today were not nearly so proper. There was something…off…about this house and its inhabitants, but Inuyasha could not put his finger on it.

"If there is anything you need, do not hesitate to ask," Sesshoumaru told him. Inuyasha nodded awkwardly.

The servant returned with a pot of tea for Inuyasha and coffee for Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha grinned as the servant poured the beverages for both of them.

"Is something amusing?" Sesshoumaru asked once the servant had left.

"Er…it's just that you really do seem like a coffee kinda guy," Inuyasha told him.

Sesshoumaru smiled his quiet smile that made Inuyasha's heart beat faster. "I like tea as well."

Inuyasha took a sip of his tea and found that it was delicious, better than any he'd had till then.

"So you're an only child?" Inuyasha asked.

"I am," Sesshoumaru replied. "You as well?"

"Yup," Inuyasha answered cheerfully. "Guess my parents had their hands full with one brat."

"I see…you are not from these parts?"

Inuyasha told him how he'd moved here for studying and some things about his life back home, although he didn't tell him just how poor they'd been, nor how he had never met his father after a very young age. It didn't seem appropriate to reveal so much on a first date.

Inuyasha found that it was easy talking to him. Sesshoumaru was quiet; he didn't jabber much but he was not the brooding kind either. Inuyasha was soon his boisterous self and Sesshoumaru seemed to enjoy his liveliness.

Time passed quickly as it always did when you had good company and it soon became dark. The sunset looked beautiful from the terrace as there were only trees as far as he could see. He was used to seeing the sun dip behind buildings so it was refreshing experience to watch it set in a forest.

"Isn't it dangerous to live so near the forest?" Inuyasha asked when they were leaning against the low railing. "I've heard it's a wild forest; isn't there danger of animals or demons?"

Sesshoumaru seemed very amused by this question though Inuyasha could not figure out why.

"Our family has lived here for generations and there has never been any incident."

"What about when you were a kid?" Inuyasha asked cheekily. He felt comfortable enough to tease him. "You look like the type to go wandering around in forests on your own. Ever been attacked by any demons?"

Sesshoumaru looked away to hide his smile.

"That was…a long time ago."

Inuyasha cocked his head to the side. "What're ya talkin' about? Ya can't be much older than me."

"Do know that all demons age differently?" Sesshoumaru asked in return.

"Yeah, my sensei back home was 325 years old...barely looked 50." Inuyasha revealed rather proudly. "So how old are you really?" Inuyasha asked.

"Quite a bit older than you, I imagine," Sesshoumaru told him.

"I'm 263," Inuyasha told him.

Sesshoumaru suddenly turned towards him. The orange light of the setting sun was behind him and his eyes looked suddenly eerie. Inuyasha was a little bit frightened at the look on his face. It almost seemed…predatory-

"As I said," Sesshoumaru told him quietly. "I am far older than you."

Inuyasha was suddenly not very keen on pressing for the answer.

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Sesshoumaru asked his driver to drop Inuyasha off to his house when he mentioned that it was getting dark and that he should get going. Inuyasha mumbled something about not wanting to impose but Sesshoumaru overrode the protests saying that there were no cabs for miles and it was dangerous for him to return alone.

On the ride back, Inuyasha could not help but feel a little disappointed. Sesshoumaru had been a perfect gentleman. He hadn't even touched him! Admittedly, it was the first date but who was that chivalrous anymore? Inuyasha confessed to himself that he had expected the prince to be a little more…aggressive? No, that wasn't the right word. Inuyasha did not have a thing for dominating jerks who thought far too much of themselves because inside, they generally turned out to be wimps. Inuyasha didn't have any experience of first dates to compare with but from what he had heard from his friends, it involved a lot more contact than this - holding hands, a hug, a kiss, sometimes even spending the night, although he personally considered the last rather slutty.

He was certainly glad that he had not screwed up or made a fool of himself in any way. But he was just a little bit worried. Wasn't the youkai attracted to him at all? Was that why he hadn't touched him? Did he expect Inuyasha to make the first move? No, that didn't seem right. Sesshoumaru didn't seem like the kind to wait around for what he wanted. Everything about him said that he was used to taking command. Then why had he been so distant?

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But the next day, his doubts were somewhat assuaged as almost the entire day was spent talking on the phone. Inuyasha did not know what they talked about but it seemed to him as though he had known the youkai for years and now, he had a lifetime worth of stuff to catch up on. Inuyasha was generally a very guarded person, not used to talking freely about himself but with Sesshoumaru he had to work hard to keep his guard. He had already told him more than a person normally revealed to someone they had known only for a few days. But it didn't feel wrong. In fact, nothing had felt more right.

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On Monday, Inuyasha went to school, determined that his friends would know nothing about his date with Sesshoumaru. He figured that the prince would also not want to broadcast the fact that he was dating a hanyou so he was safe on that account. Actually, he had wondered how Sesshoumaru asked him out so easily. Didn't he have a reputation to hold up? But he dismissed the thought assuming that royalty had their way of dealing with such things.

As soon as he entered the school building, he knew something was wrong. Students were surreptitiously glancing at him and whispering and pointing. More than once, he had spotted envy, scorn and laughter in their eyes. What was going on?

"Hey, guys," he greeted normally as he swung his bag off his shoulders, onto the the table. "What's up?

Everyone gave him very guarded looks. Finally Kagome said hi.

"What's the matter? He asked looking from one to the other.

"Is it true?" Sango asked.

"Is what true?" Inuyasha asked, dreading the answer. How had they found out he was dating Sesshoumaru?

"That you're sleeping with Sesshoumaru."

Inuyasha turned bright red. "What?" he shouted. "Of course not! Where'd ya hear something like that?"

Miroku and Sango looked relieved though Kikyou still looked suspicious.

"It's all over the school," Kagome told him. "Everyone's been talking about it."

"B-but how- what-?" Inuyasha spluttered.

"So you're not gay, right?" Miroku asked him, finally.

Inuyasha looked away. "That I - well…"

"What?" Sango asked sharply.

"I am, alright?" Inuyasha replied sharply. "I went on a date with Sesshoumaru but that's it! I'm not sleeping with him. Jeez, can't people even go out together anymore?"

"You-you're going out with Sesshoumaru?" Kagome asked faintly, in a very small voice.

"Look I don't get what the big deal is, alright? Can you not handle the fact that I'm gay? Do you want me to go?"

"No," Kagome assured him quickly. "No, of course we can. It's just…a little surprising that's all. You don't seem…" she trailed off embarrassed.

"Don't seem what?" Inuyasha demanded.

"Nothing," Miroku interrupted smoothly. "Kagome only meant that you did not express any preference for the same sex, that's all. We don't want you to leave. It's just…a little difficult for us, that's all."

Inuyasha still looked pissed but Kagome made everyone get up. "Now come on, or we're going to be late for class."

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The whole day, Inuyasha was disgruntled. Just what the hell did his friends think of themselves? It was difficult for them? They acted like he had just told them he was a serial killer and they were trying their darnedest to digest such a disturbing piece of information. What was wrong with everybody? How did the idea get around that he was sleeping with Sesshoumaru?

Now, at lunchtime, he was sitting with his friends, eager to get done and just get out. Everyone was awkwardly silent and the atmosphere was stifling, especially since the other students had still not stopped pointing and sneering. Inuyasha really just wanted to go and punch them in the face, but he really could not stop people from talking. There was no outright malice from anyone. Only vague, general gossip.

"Well, well…is ain't the famous Inuyasha."

Inuyasha took a deep breath and welcomed the chance to beat the crap out of some dumbass demons. Looking up, he saw a demon with long hair smirking at him along with a lizard demon.

"Waddya want?" he snarled.

"Want? Oh no, I just wanted to see you…"

"Why?" Inuyasha demanded.

"Well, it seems a bit strange is all. That Sesshoumaru-sama accepted a hanyou bitch…"

Inuyasha got up so fast, his chair crashed to the floor and the coke spilled. Bitch…he would never be called that name again…

His friends were gripping his arms, trying to get him to sit down, telling him to get a hold of himself but Inuyasha saw red.

"Say that again, asshole," he whispered, voice harsh with rage.

The demon smirked. "Awww what's the matter? Don't like being teased? But I'm sure you don't mind it if Sesshoumaru-sama calls you a-"

Inuyasha's fist crashed into his jaw before the demon could complete the sentence.

"You! Don't you dare hit my brother!" The lizard demon charged but Inuyasha effortlessly threw him into a wall. All the students in the cafeteria were on their feet now, watching the fight. This school had a very strict policy regarding fights and everyone had seen that Inuyasha had been the one to attack. The hanyou was going to get into a lot of trouble.

"Manten, are you alright?" the long haired demon called, picking himself up from the floor.

"Yes, brother," Manten whimpered, attempting to get up but his legs refused to support him. Who knew the hanyou was so damn strong?

The dark haired demon turned back to Inuyasha with a smirk. "No one lays a hand on my brother and gets away with it, half-breed."

"Bring it on, dumbass," Inuyasha responded.

The demon's eyes widened and suddenly, everyone could feel the electricity in the room. Students near the table backed off. Sango grabbed his sleeve.

"Inuyasha what are you doing?" she whispered fiercely to him.

"Stay out of this!" Inuyasha whispered back.

"Hiten's an elemental demon, you fool! Brute strength won't help you one bit!"

But Inuyasha was too riled up to listen to her. This asshole was going to get what was coming to him…

Inuyasha jumped to the side as a ball of pure energy - lightning - struck where he'd been standing seconds ago and with a loud boom, crashed into the floor. Inuyasha stared. When the dust had settled, he could clearly see the large charred hole in the ground. He turned to the demon in shock. This much raw power in one strike?

Hiten smirked. "Get ready to be charred to a lump, doggy-boy."

Inuyasha took a firm stance. Damned if he let this arrogant son-of-a-bitch win! And if he had to take some damage in the process…

"Hiten."

The thunder demon turned at the quiet deep voice. This was not the voice of the school principal as was to be expected.

Sesshoumaru was standing motionless in the doorway. "Leave him."

Hiten scowled, glaring at the dog demon. Inuyasha also scowled. "Stay out of my fight, Sesshoumaru!"

But Sesshoumaru ignored him completely. He was staring coldly at the thunder demon.

"Hiten, if you know what is good for you, stay away from him."

Hiten continued glaring for a while but in the end, he looked away, unable to withstand the demon Lord's gaze. He silently stalked over to his brother, threw him over his shoulder and walked out. The entire cafeteria stared silently at Sesshoumaru.

"If I hear one more malevolent word against Inuyasha," he warned quietly. "There will be hell to pay."

There was complete silence for another moment and then the cafeteria was once again hum of activity, slowly returning to its earlier noise levels. Sesshoumaru turned to Inuyasha.

"Come with me."

Still seething, Inuyasha followed him grudgingly. Once they were out of earshot Inuyasha scowled at his boyfriend.

"What the hell do you think of yourself, interfering in my fight like that? I could have walloped him!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Sesshoumaru said sharply. "You stand no chance against an elemental without a weapon."

Inuyasha turned red. "Bullshit," he muttered although the protest was weak. Sesshoumaru was right. Even if he had won, he would have been severely injured. But that didn't mean Sesshoumaru could treat him like some girl!

"If you think for one second I'm going to be your obedient little bitch-"

"I expect nothing of the sort," Sesshoumaru interrupted. "Those are merely rumors. Unfortunately, people cannot imagine any other relationship between a daiyoukai and a hanyou."

Inuyasha stared. "You're a daiyoukai?"

Sesshoumaru said nothing to that. "There will be no more incidents like the one with Hiten."

"What makes you so sure?" Inuyasha asked. "There might be others who decide-"

"No one will dare insult you again."

"And you're sure everyone will listen to you?" Inuyasha asked skeptically. He knew people. They didn't obey that easily.

Sesshoumaru smiled slightly, an odd glint in his eyes. "Yes. Or there will be consequences."

Inuyasha stared at him but didn't say anything. Somehow, he still had trouble imagining Sesshoumaru capable of violence.

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That day, after school, Inuyasha went back to the rooftop where he had first talked to Sesshoumaru. It was deserted today. He found a lot of peace here; the view was beautiful and calming and he liked the solitude. It helped him think.

"Are you alright?"

Inuyasha turned slightly, but he already knew who it was.

"Yeah, of course…why?"

Sesshoumaru came to stand close behind him.

"You seemed very upset when Hiten called you a bitch."

Inuyasha snorted, trying to brush it off. "Yeah, like anyone likes to be called that…"

"But that's not all," Sesshoumaru guessed and Inuyasha reddened slightly. The hanyou turned away from him, hoping the demon Lord didn't probe any further and to his surprise, he didn't. Not verbally anyway. Sesshoumaru did not ask any further questions but Inuyasha could feel him waiting. And in the peaceful evening, Inuyasha suddenly felt that he could not carry the burden alone any longer.

"There was a guy…" Inuyasha said haltingly. He had never shared this with anyone, not even his mother but there was something about Sesshoumaru that made him want to bare his soul. "In my hometown…"

Sesshoumaru was listening intently to him and his eyes told the hanyou to go on.

"He…he did things…"

Inuyasha's voice broke and he could not bear to meet his eyes. His entire body was shaking with the memories that rushed back when he spoke about this. Abruptly, the evening was very cold.

"A-And h-he…" Inuyasha swallowed, throat suddenly dry. "He would call me his bitch…"

His legs were shaking with the adrenaline in his system. It had been so long since he had allowed himself to think of this that the memories were all the more powerful. He could feel the other hanyou's disgusting touch, his lips on his skin, his hand on his ass…

Inuyasha gasped as he felt strong arms encircle him from behind. His knees suddenly buckled as he allowed Sesshoumaru to support him completely. He could feel comforting heat radiating from the youkai and suddenly, he was not so cold anymore.

"Who was he?" Sesshoumaru murmured in his ear, holding him close, not allowing him to withdraw when Inuyasha weakly attempted to do so.

"He was a hanyou…" Inuyasha breathed shakily. "His name was…Naraku."

"Na-ra-ku," Sesshoumaru seemed to taste the name on his tongue.

Inuyasha's mind had gone blank. He was not ready to deal with these feelings yet but somehow, he felt as if his secret was safe with the demon Lord. But he hadn't yet told him the other thing; what he had done after…

Inuyasha swallowed heavily and closed his eyes. No, he could not deceive him like that. Sesshoumaru deserved to know the truth.

He glanced back at the concerned youkai and felt his heart break. He felt like he had known him for years; there was a connection between them. It didn't feel like a new relationship. Sesshoumaru felt like an old, old friend whom he had finally met after years apart. And that would all be gone in a second once he told him…he would once again be alone and it was all his fault…

He pulled himself out of Sesshoumaru's arms and turned to face him. His body cried out at the lack of warmth and comfort but he didn't deserve it anyway.

"Sesshoumaru…there is something you need to know…"

Sesshoumaru was looking at him inquiringly. Inuyasha allowed himself to look into his eyes one last time before they filled with disgust for him.

I never meant to get so close to you…

But how was he to know that Sesshoumaru would know him better in a few days than anyone else had in a lifetime?

"After he…after Naraku t-touched me, I- couldn't…"

His voice cracked. The world swayed. Inuyasha felt dizzy. Sesshoumaru stepped closer but he stepped back, kept him at bay.

"After he…did those things, I could never-never get hard without fantasizing about his…about the abuse."

He did have the guts to look up to meet the disgust in the prince's eyes.

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. There were some things that could not be overlooked, could not be forgiven.

"Are you in love with him?"

The question physically shook him. Sesshoumaru's voice was as neutral and emotionless as ever. And it was right that he hated Inuyasha now. Tears pricked the hanyou's eyes.

"No!" he cried. "No, please! I hate him! I hate him for what he did but I can't-can't help it."

He took a deep breath, tears threatening to overflow.

"It's sick and I should have-should have had more discipline…should have never given in to those urges but…I did and-"

He turned away from the demon Lord and stood facing the open ground below, the tears flowing freely from his eyes. He was glad Sesshoumaru could not see them. He was glad his voice shook only a little.

"And I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'll stay out of your life. I'm sorry…"

And Inuyasha turned and ran. Not bothering to go through the door, he jumped onto the roof of the next building and was gone.

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A/N: Feedback Appreciated!