InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Broken Dreams ❯ Thoughts of Dread ( Chapter 38 )

Broken Dreams

 

Chapter 38

 

Thoughts of Dread

 

“Naraku and I are cut from the same fabric.” Raijin mused. He cast a glance over his shoulder. Oddly enough, Inuyasha and Kagome had been rather quiet all morning, and with mid day fast approaching, they showed no signs of communication. “I hope they do not regret the intimacy they shared last night. Surely Inuyasha does not, he loves Kagome. However, I have not received any clear indication of her feelings for him, if any.” Raijin looked forward and shook his head clear.

“It matters not. As tragic as their situation may be, it is not my duty to play Cupid to a hanyou and miko. I must now focus on the task of defeating Naraku.” Raijin was scared. Yes, scared. Naraku had created him with confidence to prevent such an emotion, but even the hardest people of all feel fear at some point. “Naraku is my master, as much as I loathe it. If he were to die, I may yet go with him to the grave. Kagura believed his death would not result in hers, but then, she and I are not the same. She is full youkai, and Naraku created me to be a hanyou. Naraku's death may affect me differently then it would her.”

“I shouldn't have kissed her.” Inuyasha growled. He was tempted to look over his shoulder at Kagome, but forced himself to keep his eyes trained ahead. “She hasn't said a word all morning. Stupid baka, I probably scared her off.” True enough, the kiss wasn't anyone's fault at first; Kagome had aimed for the cheek, and he had accidentally turned to meet her on the lips. “Yeah, and it's not like I didn't enjoy it. Damn it, she probably is scared of me now. She goes through all that shit with Kouga, than I practically pounce on her. I should have pulled away.”

Inuyasha, after much embarrassment and adverted gazes last night, has finally chosen what to wish for on the Shikon-no-Tama. He had not yet told Kagome, but he was sure she would approve. After what she had been through, she deserved what little happiness he could give her. “I'll miss her, but she'll be better off. I'll manage, I always have, even before Kikyo and this whole mess with the jewel started.” It had been some 60, maybe 70 years-counting his fifty years against the Goshinboku- since Inuyasha had started his search for the jewel. Hell, he was some 200(1) years old now, give or take a few. The search for the jewel had taken up almost a quarter of his life. Giving it up wouldn't be easy, but then, when he had started his search, his hadn't figured it would be such a task.

“I had a life before the jewel, I'll be fine once it and Kagome are gone.” He consoled himself. Although come to think of it, he wasn't sure what he did before he had met Kikyo. His memories back top when he first met the priestess were intact, but before that…he had fragments, bits and pieces of memory. He remembered a beating from Sesshomaru for leaving the castle. He remembered playing with a village girl who later shunned him when she realized he was a hanyou. But for the most part, there was nothing. “I'll manage. I'll be fine, I will be, I have to be. I have to be strong. I've always known Kagome would leave once the jewel was complete, that's always been the plan…right?

Inuyasha stumbled slightly as he doubted his own words. Kagome had never mentioned anything about what she wanted to do when the jewel was complete. He had figured she wanted to simply return home to her world of luxury. But that was before he had figured out her feelings for him, and his feelings for her. He had thought that she might stay with him in the feudal era, but Inuyasha couldn't have it. He wouldn't force her to abandon her family, her home, just for him. If he did something like that, he was no better then Kouga.

“Damn it, why doesn't he say anything?” Kagome silently fumed. “I knew it, he hates me now!” And no wonder, she was Kouga's mate after all. Sure, he wanted to help free her from Kouga, but mate with her? Heaven forbid Inuyasha lower himself to even kiss damaged goods like her. “He's sorry it happened, so why is he acting like it's his fault? I'm the one who kissed him, not the other way around. Say something you baka!”

After his little speech about doing anything to break her bond with Kouga, Kagome had almost started to think it was personal for him. Maybe he didn't want her to be Kouga's mate because he wanted her to be his own mate. Like that was likely by any means. She had betrayed him, just like Kikyo. Why on earth would he want her as a mate?

“I guess he doesn't have any feelings for me after all.” Kagome thought sadly. Her feelings for the hanyou had faded slightly over the past three years, but after a surprisingly short time with him, her feelings had blossomed back into love. She actually liked the new Inuyasha. Granted, his occasional insults were endearing, but the new hanyou was nothing like that. He was gentle, considerate, and while his attitude and language were regressing back into familiar territory, he was overall a better person. Kagome wouldn't wish for any reason that Inuyasha be forced to undergo his six months in hell as Naraku's prisoner, but it had seemingly made him a better person. She just wished it hadn't been through the loss of his hair, ear and fingers.

If he didn't know what he wanted to wish for when they finally got the jewel completed, she knew what her wish would be. She planned to wish Inuyasha back to his old self, without all the deformities Naraku had forced on him. Inuyasha didn't deserve such pain and suffering that was sure to happen when others met him. Naomi and the other mikos at the village they had left yesterday were shocked at the hanyou's appearance, but they grew more understanding when she had explained his encounter with Naraku. The looks on their faces at his half a head of hair, their discomfort when they saw his missing fingers, the realization that he was missing an ear…Kagome was not going to force him to endure such barbs for the rest of his life.

“It will be a quarter-moon tonight. Why does my blood tremble at such a thought? There is nothing special about this night, so why do I fear the coming darkness?” Raijin said to himself. There was something unnerving approaching, something he felt in his soul. Something about tonight was making him nervous

“I can't let myself force her like that again. I won't make her love me, I can't. If she loves me or not doesn't matter. I know my wish, and her feelings won't change it.” Inuyasha told himself.

“Damn it, doesn't he feel anything for me? I know he doesn't love me, but can't he at least care a little about me?” Kagome silently pleaded. Lost in their own thoughts, the trio marched on to what was most likely going to become their graves- Naraku's castle.

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

“So you have not located the castle yet?” Kikyo asked the shinidamachu before her. Speaking in some sort of way only Kikyo could hear, she lifted her hand and let the creature float away. “Continue searching.” She ordered. Her soul-collectors were scouring the area, looking for where Naraku was hiding. For him to send a puppet after her, he must be nearby.

If he was desperate enough to seek her help killing Inuyasha and Kagome, then they must be nearby as well. Kikyo was somewhat happy to learn Inuyasha was alive. Her love for the hanyou had left, and she was sure the same could be said of his feelings for her. But he was powerful, and one of the few creatures Naraku fears, along with herself and Kagome. His death would not be a good thing, especially when the jewel was close to completion once again.

She knew Kagome had several shards. If she was to take them, or give Kagome her own shards, Kikyo had not yet decided. The youkai Kouga also had two. Kikyo had heard that he had mated Kagome, so she would have to wait until after Naraku's defeat to kill Kouga, lest Kagome die as well and not be able to assist in the fight against Naraku. And with Naraku's shards, she was sure there were not many left. She had stretched her powers to their limits, and other then Kagome, Naraku and Kouga, she sensed no other shards for miles. It seemed that unless fortune once again intervened, the jewel was finally going to be completed after five years of waiting.

A shinidamachu floated down to her and began speaking in its hushed whispered.

“You have found him?” Kikyo asked. The creature confirmed its findings, and Kikyo gathered her bow to her. “Take me.” She commanded. The other youkai circled her and lifted her into the air. It was time to correct a 55 year old mistake.

 

1: As I believe it is stated in the third Inuyasha movie, our fav hanyou is 150 years old. With the 50 years on the God Tree, that's 200 years. Looks pretty damn good for his age huh?