InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Broken ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the supporting characters.

CW: Slight reference to abortion. Self-harm and minute thoughts of suicide.

Broken

Chapter 3

"Inu..yasha?"

Immediately, unbidden tears fell from the hanyou's eyes as he grabbed her and hugged her tight. Kagome gasped and her entire body tensed up.

She remembers everything. The rapes... Giving herself to him... Begging for him... Kikyo saving her life...

A waterfall of tears fell as she sobbed. She struggled in Inuyasha's embrace but when he only held her harder, she began to break down.

"Let go!" She started to hyperventilate as her eyes widened in fear. She doesn't want to feel restricted. She can't handle it right now, no matter who it is. "No... No, no no!"

Sango lept forward and ripped Inuyasha from Kagome quickly. "Inuyasha! Give her some space!"

Inuyasha fell backwards and looked to Kagome with confused wide eyes. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself. She is sobbing and mumbling unknown words to herself.

Sango crouched down in front of Kagome and hesitantly reached forward. She grabbed her hand, causing Kagome to gasp and lock eyes with her.

"S-Sango?"

Sango's misty eyes are locked with Kagome's. "Hai, Kagome. Welcome back."

Kagome threw herself into Sango's arms and cried even harder. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, Sango!"

Sango rubbes circles along the young woman's back and rocked her slightly. "Shhh. It's okay, Kagome. You didn't do anything wrong."

Kaede stood and waved for the men to leave the hut. Inuyasha growled, but a stern look from Miroku had him reluctantly obeying.

When they went outside, Inuyasha glared at the old woman. "Okay. What gives babaa? Why did she push me away!?"

Miroku put a hand to the hanyous shoulder. "Calm down, my friend. I am sure you figured out at least a part of what happened to her, correct?" Inuyasha grabbed the hilt of his sword as his eyes flashed red, and nodded his head. "Then you must know why she would not want to be touched right now."

Inuyasha snarled as he looked at the houshi. "She was fine hugging Sango!"

Kaede sighed. "Sango is a woman, Inuyasha. She has been... violated... by a man. Kami knows how many times. She needs time."

Inuyasha growled. "Fuck that." He stomped back into the hut, leaving behind an old Miko and a young monk shaking their heads exasperatedly. "Oi, wench!"

Kagome's eyes snapped up to Inuyasha's as soon as he stepped inside and spoke to her. She quickly grasped Sango's hand who is sitting closely next to her.

Kagome shook her head quickly before putting her face into Sango's neck and crying harder. "Go away... Please..."

Inuyasha growled and sat down directly in front of her, ignoring the glares from the taijiya. "Kagome..."

She flinched when she heard her name spoken with such care. 'Please, Inuyasha. Don't look at me... I'm nothing. I'm worthless. I'm so weak...' She cried into Sango's neck even harder.

Inuyasha growled and told Sango to leave them alone, making Kagome flinch and clutch onto the older woman harder.

"Are you insane, Inuyasha? Like hell I'm leaving her!"

"Alright bitch, tell me why you are so fucking afraid of me!? I'm not that bastard, I won't hurt you!"

Kagome's eyes snapped back to his for just a second before she quickly looked away. "I'm not scared of you, Inuyasha. I could never be scared of you..." She practically whispered it. 'Kami... It hurts just speaking to him...'

Inuyasha took a deep breath in and spoke as calmly as he could. "Kagome... If you ain't afraid of me, then why?"

Kagome rested her head against Sango's shoulder and closed her eyes. "I... I can't tell you... Just please... Don't... Don't look at me... Go... Go to Kikyo and be with her... She can help find the shards... I... I think I'm going to go home... Forever..."

Inuyasha's eyes widened before narrowing into fine slits. "Kikyo sacrificed her life to save yours. She left that decision to me. So no, you are not just leaving. Let me help you, wench!"

Kagome's eyes widened. "She... died for me? I remember everything she said to me but..." More tears fell as she held her face in her hands. "Kami... I'm just a failure for everyone, aren't I?"

Sango hugged Kagome around her shoulders. "You are not a failure. You are a wonderful, beautiful, powerful, pure, woman."

Inuyasha stuffed his arms into his sleeves. "Keh. Listen to Sango, wench."

As soon as the word 'pure' left Sango's lips, it was like a trigger went off in Kagome's head. She let out a very sadistic laugh and locked eyes with Inuyasha. "Pure... Funny you both think so. Try; defiled, whore, dirty, tainted, disgusting, used... Should I keep going?"

They looked at her sadly. She went from crying to completely monotonous. She doesn't sound angry, sad or any kind of emotion. She sounds... broken...

Inuyasha reached forward slowly, only for Kagome to flinch away. "I... need to go home... There's something... I gotta do, Inuyasha." She stood up on shaky legs with Sango's help.

Inuyasha nodded slightly before responding. "If you ain't back in three days, I'm comin' for ya. Understand?"

Kagome waved her hand as if to dismiss him before walking away quietly. She walked out of the hut and ignored the sympathetic looks she received from both Kaede and Miroku. As she was walking away, tears came to her eyes when she heard the tiny voice call for her.

"Kagome?"

Without turning around, she responded. "Hai, Shippo?" Her voice trembled slightly.

Shippo stepped closer and asked, "Y-you're coming back, right?"

Kagome allowed just one tear to fall. "H-hai, Shippo." She walked away, but stopped once again when Miroku spoke up.

"Kagome-sama..." When she just stood there and didn't respond, he slowly walked in front of her. He pulled a shard out of his robe and held it out in front of him. "Here. So you can get back through the well."

Kagome tentatively reached forward and grasped it. Everyone gasped when the shard darkened just slightly. Not enough to corrupt her, but enough to prove she isn't the same Kagome she was two and a half weeks ago. She ignored the shocked gasps as she clutched it in the palm of her hand and walked away without a word.

°•°•°

Kagome weakly climbed out of the well in the modern day world. She slowly walked out of the well house and towards the front door of her home. She stood just outside of the door for what seemed like forever, not really knowing what to say to her family when she goes inside.

Finally, she took a deep breath in and opened the door.

When she walked inside, she was glad her brother wasn't there to bombard her with questions. She just doesn't have the energy to deal with that right now. She tried to sneak upstairs, but her mothers voice caused her to freeze in place before she could.

"Kagome? It's been awhile, dear. Are you hungry?"

Kagome gulped and turned around, smiling as brightly as she could. "Uhm... No thanks, mama. I'm pretty tired. I'm just gonna take a bath and go to sleep."

Mrs. Higurashi eyed her daughter warily. She is smiling but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "What is it you are wearing, dear? Where is your school uniform?"

Kagome looked down at the light blue Kimono covered in pink Sakura blossoms. She is obviously dirty and in need of a bath. She looked back at her mother and maintained that obviously fake smile. "Oh, this? Uh, my uniform got ruined so I had to find something else... I'm just uh... gonna go take that bath now..." She quickly ran up the stairs without waiting for a response from her mother.

When she made it into the bathroom, she tore the kimono off of her body and tossed it into the trash can, tears already flowing down her face. She turned the shower on as hot as it could go and then hopped in quickly. She picked up her loofah and added a large glob of soap to it before harshly scrubbing her entire body. She cried silently as she scrubbed her skin raw. She started with the part of her that felt the dirtiest. She scrubbed between her legs until it hurt, welcoming the pain... If she can still feel pain, then all is not lost... She added more soap and water before scrubbing her legs, feet, arms, neck... Every single inch of her body, she scrubbed until she was almost bleeding. She then threw the loofah to the side and soaked her hair before using shampoo and conditioner and then doing it again and again... and again.

When she was finished with that, she couldn't even find the energy to draw the bath. She just slid down the wall of the shower and sat down with her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around herself and her face tucked into her body.

She doesn't know how long she sat there, rocking and crying, but it must have been awhile because she heard a knock at the door before her mother entered.

Mrs. Higurashi quietly walked towards her distraught daughter, turned the shower off and held a towel out in front of her. Kagome looked up at her with tears falling freely. She nodded her head in understanding and stood up on shaky legs.

Her mother helped her dry off. She started by wrapping the towel around her and hugging her tightly for just a moment before pulling back and drying off her arms, back and stomach. Then she helped to dry her hair before backing away and grabbing a post-shower robe and wrapping it around her. She grabbed her hand and led her to her daughter's bedroom, sitting her down on her bed and sitting next to her.

The entire time, Kagome didn't speak a word or look into her eyes.

Mrs. Higurashi sighed as she put an arm around her daughter's shoulders. "Kagome..."

The dam broke at just hearing her name spoken in that way. Tears spilled forth and she wrapped her arms around her mother.

"Mama... I need... I... Doctor..." Was all she could get out.

Mrs. Higurashi's heart broke at the anguish coming forth from her sweet baby girl. She stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"I will schedule an appointment, dear... But... I need you to tell me what happened." Though if the two hour long shower and the red marks from scrubbing so hard has anything to say about it... She really hopes she is wrong.

"I... I don't know how to tell you... I feel so... ughh... I don't even know who I am anymore..."

Mrs. Higurashi pulled back and stared into the sad brown eyes of her oldest child. She cupped her cheeks in her hands and smiled sadly at her as she wiped her tears away with the pads of her thumbs.

"You, my beautiful girl, are smart, funny, compassionate, considerate, courageous, and perfect. Should I say more?"

Kagome sniffled as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in... "I'm nothing..." She whispered. "I'm disgusting... I'm impure and defiled..."

Mama Higurashi allowed a few tears to fall as she pulled her daughter into another tight embrace. "Kagome... were you... forced...?" At Kagome's slight nod, she let out a small sob of her own. "Oh, my sweet baby. I'm so so sorry. Was it... Inuyasha?"

Kagome gasped and pulled back to stare at her mother in shock and disbelief. "No! Inuyasha would never!"

Mrs. Higurashi felt slightly relieved at that news. "I'm sorry, Kagome. I was just curious as to why he isn't with you."

Kagome looked away from her mothers gaze, feeling guilty. "I didn't want to be near him right now.."

"Why not?"

She looked at the older woman incredulously as if she should know the answer to that bit of information. "Because! I can't even look at him without feeling unworthy. I'm unworthy of even breathing the same air as him. I'm just a used and abused whore!"

Mrs. Higurashi gasped as she wrapped her arms around Kagome once again. "Never say that again, Kagome. That is not true. None of it. I'm sure Inuyasha doesn't believe it." She pulled back and gave her a determined look. "I am setting an appointment with a doctor to check for any.. diseases or... pregnancy..." She noticed the trembling of Kagome's lip at that last word. "I am also going to schedule an appointment for you to talk to someone." Kagome was about to argue, but her mother interrupted. "I will not hear any arguments, Kagome. You are fifteen years old. You went through probably a lot more then you even told me. You will talk to a professional. Got it?"

Kagome's shoulders slumped as she looked down at her lap and nodded her head.

Kagome's mother moved a strand of raven hair from her daughter's face and tucked it behind her ear before kissing her forehead. "Why don't you get some sleep, and we will talk in the morning?"

Kagome nodded her head once again before sliding under the blankets and closing her eyes. Mrs. Higurashi stood, closed the curtains to the bedroom window since it is still bright outside, and then turned the light off and left quietly.

°•°•°

Kagome's eyes shut fully and she cried silently to herself. "Please... Not this... Please..."

Naraku let go of her wrists, giving Kagome just a little bit of hope. While she looked up at him, she saw him reach over to the side of the bed and grab something off of a table. She looked at his hand as he brought it in front of her face and noticed it was some sort of liquid.

"Now, my little Miko. Open up."

She tightened her lips together and shook her head side to side. Naraku sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"The hard way then."

He pinched her nose, watching as her face turned red from holding in her breath, which only excited him further. He thrust up against her, making her fear spike deliciously.

Finally, unable to hold her breath any longer, she gasped. Immediately the small vial of liquid was poured in her mouth. She did the only thing she could think of and turned her head to spit it out, coughing as she did so. She glared up at the dark hanyou, but he only smiled.

"Kukuku. It doesn't matter if you swallow it or not. It has touched your tongue, so it will effect you the same."

Kagome's blood ran cold as she started to feel weaker and weaker. "Wh-what is it gonna do to me?" She weakly asked as she could already start feeling the effects it's having on her body.

Naraku took a deep breath in and savored the scent of not only her fear, but the beginning of her arousal. "I think you have already figured that out. tsk tsk. Can you imagine what Inuyasha would think knowing you are aroused by the likes of me?"

Kagome raised her shaky hands to her face and cried harder. "No... I don't want you... I'll never want you."

Naraku rubbed his erection against her now moistening core and his smile widened. "Your mind may not... yet... but your body sure does."

Kagome uncovered her eyes to glare into his. "If you hadn't used whatever the hell drug that was, my body would never want you! You disgusting pig!"

Kagome gasped as his hand connected with her cheek in a brutal smack. She closed her eyes once again and allowed her tears to silently fall. She kept her face turned away from him as he began to touch her in ways no one else has.

'Inuyasha... I'm so so sorry.'

Naraku grabbed her breasts roughly, elicitating a pained whimper from her. "You will soon learn your place, bitch."

She shook her head, but she began to believe him. He is already taking control of her body, how long will it be before he takes a hold of her mind?

"No..."

"Are you ready to become impure, my little Miko?"

She looked back at him for one last effort to get him to stop. Even though she knows it's completely useless, she doesn't want Inuyasha to believe she wanted this for even a second.

"No... Please don't..."

"I love it when you beg me to stop. It will only taint the jewel further."

Than, without warning, he thrust his hardened erection fully into her virgin heat.

Kagome awoke screaming and in a puddle of sweat. Her hair is plastered to her face and her robe is clingling to her body. She didn't care about any of that, only the reason for her wakefulness.

She immediately sat up in bed, practically hyperventilating while clutching her blanket to her chest. She looked to the door with frightened eyes when her mother ran in worriedly. Kagome's bottom lip trembled as tears began to fall.

"Mama..."

Mrs. Higurashi quickly walked over and sat on the bed next to her daughter. Kagome wrapped her arms around her mother and cried quietly. The older woman looked towards the door when a young voice was heard.

"Nee-chan? Are you alright?"

Kagome whispered, "please... don't tell him anything is wrong..."

Mrs. Higurashi tightened her hold on Kagome and smiled sadly at Souta. "Just a bad dream, Souta. Go on to bed, alright?"

The eight year old boy nodded reluctantly, not fully believing them but he decided not to pry. He closed the door and went back to his room.

Mrs. Higurashi stroked Kagome's hair as she spoke softly. "I was able to schedule an urgent doctor's appointment for Wednesday and a session with a psychiatrist for Friday."

Kagome nodded her head and mumbled, "What day is it?"

"It's two in the morning on Monday. So today and tomorrow, we will just relax, okay?"

"What about school? I missed so much..."

Mrs. Higurashi sighed and pulled back to look at her daughter in the eyes. They seem to be so hollow.. Her little girl, so full of life... is beginning to look empty... She wiped a stray tear from Kagome's face.

"I already spoke to the administration office. You will begin homeschooling next week, starting Monday. I'm giving you this week off because you need it and then on your first day, you will be going through school on the computer, okay?"

Kagome only nodded her head as she pulled back from her mother's arms and layed down, tiredly. She closed her eyes and started to drift off.

Only a few seconds later, Kagome spoke up. "Mama?"

Mrs. Higurashi rubbed small circles on Kagome's leg and responded. "Hai, Kagome?"

"Inuyasha said he will be coming in three days... What do I do?" She instinctually wrapped herself up within her blankets to feel more secure.

Her mother sighed. "I can't answer that for you, dear. That is for you to decide... Although, I recommend not shutting him out. Hear what he has to say and confide in him. He cares for you, you know."

A tear slipped from Kagome's eye as she took a shuttering breath in. "I... I love him..."

"Oh, Kagome... He loves you too, I just know it."

Kagome's eyes opened slightly to look at her mother. "What if... What if this ruined any chance we had at a real relationship?"

Her mother gave her a reassuring smile and a pat on the leg. "Don't worry, honey. If it was meant to be, nothing can ruin what you two have."

Kagome nodded her head as her eyes closed once again. "Thank you, mama..." She mumbled right before drifting off to sleep.

A single tear escaped from Mrs. Higurashi's eye as she stood up from the bed. She bent down and kissed her daughter's forehead before whispering into her ear.

"I love you, Kagome. You are beautiful and pure in every way imaginable. This will get better." She silently walked out of the room and went back to her own bed.

°•°•°

The next morning, Kagome woke up feeling groggy and with a headache. She put her hands to her temples and rubbed them slowly. 'Must be from all the blubbering. Ugh, I'm such a weak little crybaby..'

Kagome wanted to just lay in bed and do nothing all day, but her bladder was forcing her to get up. She sighed as she rose from the bed and went to her closet for some clothes. She is still in her post-shower robe from the day before. She looked through all of her clothes and got angrier and angrier as time went on.

'Do I really only own skirts and short sleeve shirts? Maybe if I dressed less like a whore, I wouldn't be treated like one...'

She slammed her closet door shut and searched her dresser drawers instead. After a few minutes, she finally found a pair of gray sweat pants, a long sleeve green turtle neck sweater-shirt and an old matching set of underwear. They are worn and completely unattractive. Exactly what she needs.

Once she had her clothes in her hands, she left her bedroom and went into the bathroom. She closed and locked the door before laying her outfit out on the sink. Then she turned the shower on as hot as it could go and dropped her robe unceremoniously on the floor. She relieved herself of her bladder and then stepped into the shower.

Kagome grabbed her loofah and repeated what she had done when she got home yesterday afternoon. She scrubbed every inch of her body raw. She payed extra attention between her legs before scrubbing up and down the length of her legs, arms and stomach. Then she washed her hair twice before scrubbing her entire body all over again.

By the time she stepped out of the shower, her skin was red from the hot water and there were scratches left behind from how hard she scrubbed with the loofah. She looked into the mirror and winced. She has bags under her red puffy eyes, she looks thinner than she had in years and her skin is marked all over. Not just from her scrubbing, but she has hickies on her neck and breasts. She quickly looked away from her reflection and got dressed.

Without looking back at herself in the mirror, she grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste and thoroughly brushed her teeth. She then used mouthwash to make sure not a single taste of that awful man is left behind. She brushed and rinsed two more times before she felt at least a little bit better.

When she finally made it downstairs, her mother was in the kitchen drinking tea. Her brother was already at school and her grandfather was outside working around the shrine grounds. She sat down quietly at the dining table and looked down at her lap. She stayed silent, waiting for the lecture she expected.

"Are you hungry, Kagome?"

Kagome looked up and locked eyes with her mother. She shook her head and then averted her eyes again.

"You should really eat something, dear. What have you been eating?"

Kagome winced at the innocent question. Of course her mother wouldn't know she has been living on one small meal a day for two and a half weeks. Not even that much, because the first three days of her imprisonment she was comatosed and the final five days after she was rescued, she was also kept asleep... So out of the nineteen days of hell... Eight of those days she didn't eat or drink anything and the other eleven days, she drank enough water to stay alive and ate one serving of Onigiri each morning. Although her mother wouldn't know that... For all she thinks, she was raped once and that was it.

Noticing her daughter hadn't said anything for a few minutes, she reached across the table and grasped her hand. Kagome flinched but didn't pull away.

"What is it, Kagome? Do you want to tell me everything that happened?"

Kagome looked into her mother's worried eyes for a split second before looking away once again. She pulled her hand out of her mother's grasp and wrapped her arms protectively around her body. Finally, after a few more minutes of silence, she spoke quietly.

"It wasn't just... once..."

Mrs. Higurashi wished she could take the pain away and shove it into her own body. She has no idea what hell her child went through, but being raped once would completely change anybody... To go through it multiple times... She shook her head of her thoughts before they ended up turning murderous.

"Kagome... How... How many times?" At her daughter's wince and immediate tears, she clenched her fists tight. "Were you kidnapped?" Kagome nodded, so she continued her questioning. "How long?"

Kagome answered weakly. "Fourteen days..."

Mrs. Higurashi immediately stood up and went to the other side of the table. She sat down next to Kagome and wrapped her arms tightly around her. Kagome let her tears fall willingly as she spoke again.

"I guess... It could have been worse." She let out an empty chuckle. "I was asleep for the first three days and he didn't touch me until I was conscious for it..." She took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. "Then he controlled my mind for the final seven days, so at least it wasn't like it was really rape by that point." By now she was just speaking aloud, not really caring if anyone heard or not. Even though her mother is still hugging her, she feels alone and empty. "So, I guess I really am a defiled, disgusting, whore. I gave myself willingly to him over and over again... I..." She let out broken sobs as she cuddled her face into her mother's neck. "I begged for it! I wanted it! I... I freaking liked it! Kami, I'm so fucked up!" She squeezed her mother as tight as her weakened body could as her entire being shook with uncontrollable sobs.

Mrs. Higurashi pulled back and cupped Kagome's face in both hands. "Kagome, look at me." When Kagome's eyes opened and locked with hers, she spoke. "You are none of those things. You said it yourself, he controlled your mind. That. Is. Rape. It does not matter what else happened. He changed the way you thought, made you do things you normally would not have done. Do not think you are impure. You are the most beautiful, pure woman I have ever known." She wiped the tears off of Kagome's face and gave her a watery smile. "Now, I'm going to make you something to eat and drink. Then we are going to spend the next two days together, alright?"

At Kagome's weak nod, she kissed her on the forehead and stood up from the chair. She started to cook a large western style breakfast, including some eggs and bacon. She grabbed a glass and poured some orange juice before sitting it on the table in front of her daughter.

"Do you want to go to the park and enjoy the weather after breakfast?" Kagome shrugged her shoulders and didn't say anything else. "Well, I don't think you should stay cooped up in the house, dear. Let's go for a walk to regain some of your energy, alright?"

Kagome only sighed and nodded her head. There was no point in arguing anyway.

When her mother placed the food in front of her, Kagome sighed. She doesn't really want to eat anything, but she decided to at least try. She picked small bites of her food slowly for the next fifteen minutes, her mother watching her out of the corner of her eye the entire time.

Deciding that Kagome tried as hard as she could, she spoke up. "You don't have to eat everything, Kagome. Are you done?" Kagome nodded weakly and watched as her mother grabbed the half empty plate.

When Mrs. Higurashi was finished with the dishes, she turned and gave her daughter a happy smile. She clapped her hands together and spoke.

"Ready for that walk?"

Kagome shrugged her shoulders as she stood up from the table. "I... I guess..."

Her mother grabbed her purse and stood next to Kagome. "Kagome..." When they locked eyes, she continued. "Don't you want to wear something... else? It's pretty warm outside, you may overheat."

Kagome wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head quickly. "N-no... I wanna wear this..." 'As long as all of my skin is covered, I won't be giving anyone the wrong idea..'

Mrs. Higurashi sighed sadly but nodded her head. "Alright, dear." She started to walk towards the door and smiled sadly when Kagome followed without complaint.

°•°•°

They walked sliently for about thirty minutes. Kagome is keeping her arms protectively wrapped around herself as her gaze is fixed on the ground beneath her feet.

When they finally made it to the park, Mrs. Higurashi led her to a bench under a large tree. They sat there without speaking for a long time before Mrs. Higurashi broke the silence.

"It's a nice day, isn't it?"

Kagome shrugged her shoulders. 'What's the point in caring about such trivial things anyway?'

Both women looked up when they heard a familiar voice. "Higurashi!"

Kagome's breath caught as she hugged herself tighter, seemingly trying to hide herself from any possible danger. Mrs. Higurashi put a protective arm around her daughter as the young man walked up to them. She knows the boy means no harm but he can be very naive in the best of circumstances.

Kagome locked eyes with him and feined happiness. "Oh! H-hi, Hojo-kun." She smiled up at the boy.

Hojo, always so oblivious, didn't notice the tension in the atmosphere as he smiled warmly at her. He blushed as he pulled something from behind his back and held it out to her.

"Uh, here. This will help with your sleep apnea. It's a special calming tea my mother made."

Kagome tentatively reached forward and grabbed the nicely wrapped gift. 'Jii-chan made something up that isn't too far off... heh...' "Th-thank you, Hojo-kun..."

Hojo scratched the back of his neck nervously as he rocked back and forth on the heels of his feet. "Say, Higurashi? If you maybe feel up to it... Would you wanna see a movie this Friday?"

Kagome turned red and gulped nervously. 'Not that I want to at all, but Friday is my psychiatrist appointment...' "Uh... I have a doctor's appointment Friday... S-sorry Hojo-kun..."

Hojo looked to be slightly disappointed but gave her a warm smile anyway. "Maybe another time then. Well, see ya later Higurashi." He walked off with a big smile on his face.

Kagome's shoulder's immediately slumped as she clenched the small gift bag in her hand. Mrs. Higurashi rubbed her daughters back lightly.

"He's such a sweet boy, that one."

Kagome rolled her eyes. "I'm not interested in him, mama."

Mrs. Higurashi laughed lightly. "No of course not, dear. You have your eye on a young man with cute doggie ears."

Kagome blushed and looked away. "Mama..."

Her mother smiled and hugged her daughter from around her shoulders. "I'm only teasing, Kagome." When Kagome looked back at her mother, her blush deepened at the next words spoken to her. "But his ears are cute, aren't they?"

Kagome quickly looked away and stood from the bench. "Mama..."

Her mother giggled as she stood up next to her daughter. "Oh, alright. Enough of that. Let's go get some ice cream and then we can head home. Deal?"

Kagome nodded and gave her mother a very small smile. 'Thanks, mama...'

°•°•°

Inuyasha and the others watched as Kagome walked away to go back home. Shippo sniffled as tears fell down his face. Miroku hugged Sango around her shoulders and Inuyasha clenched his fists at his sides. Kaede walked in the opposite direction to gather some herbs that may help Kagome when she gets back.

The little kitsune looked sadly up at the irate hanyou. "Inuyasha?"

He glared down at the boy. "What?" He growled out angrily.

Shippo flinched as his eyes watered up more. "Kagome... She's gonna be okay, right? You're her mate. You gotta be the one to help her..."

Inuyasha's fists clenched so hard, they started to drip blood onto the grass beneath their feet. "Don't ya think I know that? But Kagome doesn't! I can't just tell her she's my mate, baka!"

Shippo hopped onto Inuyasha's shoulder and curled up sadly. "Why not?"

He growled in response. "Feh... She was bein' told what to do and what she is supposed to be for weeks. I ain't just gonna force her into somethin' as soon as she got outta that fucking place!"

Sango looked at Inuyasha with a brand new admiration for him. Miroku smiled sadly and put a hand to his shoulder. "She is lucky to have you, my friend."

Inuyasha stuffed his bloody hands into the sleeves of his Suikan and looked away with a slight blush coloring his cheeks and the tips of his ears. "Feh..."

Miroku dropped his hand back to his side and shook his head. "If I may give some advice?"

Inuyasha immediately growled and glowered at the perverted monk. Miroku waved his hands defensively in front of him. "Hey! I'm not that heartless, Inuyasha. Even I know when there is a time and a place." When Inuyasha stopped growling and cocked an eyebrow, Miroku continued. "I only mean to tell you, not give up altogether. Be her friend but help her through this. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, offer yours. If she needs to vent, be her ear. If she needs the space... Well, tell her that you will always be there for her no matter what. Just because you won't tell her she is your true mate, doesn't mean you have to stay in the friend zone completely. Get close, but not overwhelmingly so. Understand?"

By now, Inuyasha's entire body is in flames. "Keh... Whatever monk..." He started to walk away from his friends but stopped to whisper, "Thanks..." before continuing on.

Miroku and Sango looked at each other sadly before walking back into Kaede's hut.

Inuyasha walked silently for a few minutes, lost in thought. He had almost forgotten about the little kit still on his shoulder until he heard the small voice.

"Inuyasha?"

"Feh..."

Shippo hugged Inuyasha around the neck and nuzzled his face close. "If Kagome doesn't come back... Who's gonna take care of me?"

Inuyasha stopped dead in his tracks and pulled Shippo off of him by the tail to glare hard at the boy. "First of all ya little runt, Kagome is coming back. Second of all..." His eyes softened as he put Shippo back onto his shoulder. "Ya got me, ya know..."

Shippo cried softly as he cuddled harder into Inuyasha's neck. "Don't leave me, Inuyasha. I don't wanna be alone again..."

Inuyasha lifted his hand up, Shippo flinched expecting to be hit but was pleasantly surprised when Inuyasha patted him softly. "I ain't goin' no where, Shippo. Remember that."

Shippo smiled widely and nodded his head eagerly.

They stayed silent as Inuyasha continued his walk to the Sacred Tree.

°•°•°

Wednesday came around much too fast for Kagome. She had awoken multiple times throughout the past couple of nights. Some times the nightmares were actual flashbacks and other times they were whatever new things her corrupted mind could come up with.

She sat up in bed and immediately regretted the movement. 'Kuso!' She put her hand to her mouth and ran to the bathroom. She just barely made it to the toilet as she threw up the contents of her stomach.

Her brother was getting ready for school when he heard Kagome getting sick in the bathroom. He rushed through the open door and yelled for their mother.

"Mama! Kagome's sick!" He turned to Kagome and asked worriedly, "are you alright, nee-chan?"

Kagome fell backwards onto her butt as soon as she was finished feeling so sick. She turned watery eyes to her brother and nodded her head.

"H-hai, Souta... I must be coming down with something."

Mrs. Higurashi and Jii-chan came in at the same time. Her mother crouched down at Kagome's side and put the back of her hand to her forehead. Jii-chan stood behind Souta with a hand to the boys shoulder, looking at his granddaughter worriedly.

Ever since she came home three days ago, he has barely seen her. She has either been in her room or out walking with her mother. She isn't sitting at the dinner table with the family and she refused to tell him what is wrong. He grudgingly decided not to pry after his daughter-in-law gave him a stern look, but that doesn't mean he isn't worried.

Kagome's mother cupped her daughter's cheeks and smiled at her sadly. "You don't feel warm. Do you have any other symptoms?"

Kagome shook her head and looked away as she wrapped her arms around her twisting stomach. "N-no... I just woke up and immediately got sick..."

Mrs. Higurashi nodded her head and stood back up. She turned to the others and smiled reassuringly. "She'll be okay. No need to hover, boys. I'm taking her to the doctor today." At their worried looks, she quickly lied. "It's just for a regular check up."

When Souta and Jii-chan were shood out of the bathroom, Mrs. Higurashi grabbed a fresh rag and wet it with cold water. She helped Kagome back up by the hand and led her back to her bedroom. When Kagome sat at the edge of the bed, still holding her stomach, Mrs. Hugurashi lightly placed the cold wet rag on her daughter's forehead.

"It'll be okay, Kagome. The appointment is in two hours and then we'll see what is wrong."

A few tears fell from Kagome's eyes as she started to shake. "Wh-what if...?"

Mrs. Higurashi immediately pulled Kagome into her arms. "There is no need to think about the what ifs, right now. Let's just get some food in your belly and head out. We will have some answers in a few hours, okay?"

Kagome nodded her head against her mother's shoulder and took a shuddering breath in. "Mama... I... If I am... I can't... I can't keep it..." She sobbed harder and squeezed her mother as tight as her weakened limbs could.

Mrs. Higurashi stroked the back of her daughter's hair. "Shh. It's okay. No need to worry about it at the moment." She pulled back and took the cold rag off of Kagome's forehead. "Why don't you take a bath and brush your teeth? I'll have breakfast ready when you come down. Okay?"

Kagome nodded her head and shakily stood up to grab an outfit from the drawer of new clothes they had stocked her with. Mrs. Higurashi didn't like that Kagome instisted on her new attire, but she wants her daughter to feel as comfortable as possible. She went downstairs to start breakfast while her daughter got ready for the day.

Kagome went into the bathroom to start with what has become her daily routine. She relieves herself of her bladder before starting the hot shower. Then she scrubs her body multiple times completely, before she does her hair and scrubs her body again. She grabbed her razer to shave her legs and under arms.

She sat on the side of the tub to start that and accidentally cut her leg with the razer, causing her to wince at the pain. She stopped what she was doing to idly watch the blood start to ooze down her leg.

'If I feel pain... I'm still me... I'm still alive...'

Not thinking about the consequences of her actions, she places the razer on the inside of her thigh where no one would be able to see it. She quickly slices herself and the pain made a small spark of light come to her eyes. She smiled hollowly as she watched more of her blood drip into the tub and get washed down the drain.

'It's either feel pain... Or end it all together.. I don't think Kikyo would have wanted me to die after she saved my life.. So this is what I'm left with.. I just want to feel something other than despair..'

She brought the blade to her other thigh and this time instead of a quick slice, she dug in slowly. She watched as the cut was formed and the crimson liquid flowed from it.

After a few more painful cuts later, she decided her mother might come looking for her if she takes too long. She washed the evidence of her blood from the razer and the shower before rinsing her body and stepping out. She dried herself with a clean towel and then brushed her teeth. After that, she noticed she was still bleeding and decided to wrap it up, only so she doesn't bleed through her clothes.

She put female boxers on along with a sports bra before her baggie sweat pants and long sleeve turtle neck. She brushed her hair and kept it down and then managed a quick glance in the mirror. She regretted it immediately, no longer caring for her appearance. She took a calming breath in before heading downstairs for breakfast.

When she walked into the kitchen, she nearly fell over in shock. Her mother had finished making breakfast and set a bowl for her at the table, but that isn't what is catching her attention.

Inuyasha is sitting at the spot next to the one that is set for her. He is slurping up noodles as if he lives there. When he saw her come in, he dropped the chop sticks into the bowl and stared at her for a long moment.

Their eyes are locked together for Kami knows how long before Mrs. Higurashi decided to cut the tension.

"Come, dear. I made you some miso soup."

Kagome shook her head free of her thoughts as she hesitantly walked forward and sat down next to Inuyasha. She took a small bite of her soup before chancing a glance at him. He is just sitting there, ear twitching, staring at her.

"You came..." She whispered quietly.

Inuyasha's ears flattened to his head as he looked down at his now cold Ramen. "Keh... I told ya I would.."

Kagome managed a small smile at him before continuing with her meal. When she was finished, her mother cleared the dishes and sat down across from them.

Kagome took a deep breath in and looked at Inuyasha. "I... can't go back today..."

Inuyasha shrugged his shoulders. "I ain't gonna make ya, but I'm stayin' here with you."

Kagome blushed slightly and looked down at her lap. "I... I gotta go to a doctor's appointment today, Inuyasha..."

"What's that?"

"It's a healer." She paused and breathed in shakily. "After... After what happened, I need to make sure I'm okay..."

Inuyasha clenched his fists tightly as his liquid honey colored eyes flashed crimson for just a second. "Keh. I'm comin' with you."

Kagome's eyes snapped to his. "Ehh?"

Before he could respond, Mrs. Higurashi spoke up. "I think that's a wonderful idea." Both sets of eyes looked at her and she only smiled warmly at them. "I think Inuyasha should come, Kagome. Wouldn't his presence be a good thing?"

Kagome looked from her mother to her hanyou and sighed. "I.. I guess so.." She noticed Inuyasha's eyes lit up as a true smile came to his face, his ears perking up like an excited puppy. 'Beautiful..' She shook her head once again and looked away as her cheeks pinked slightly.

Inuyasha refrained from touching her, knowing she isn't comfortable with that at the moment. He is going to take his friends advice and take things slow and try to be more considerate of her feelings.

"I promise you, Kagome.. I ain't gonna do nothin' to hurt you. I just wanna help."

Mrs. Higurashi stood up from the table and left the room to give them some much needed privacy.

Tears came to Kagome's eyes and she looked back into the beautiful golden ones of the man she loves. "Wh-why?"

"Nani?"

"Why do you want to help me? I.. I feel like a failure.. Like I'm worthless and dirty.. No matter how much I scrub myself, it's like I can.. I can still feel him." She shuddered as she wrapped her arms protectively around herself.

Inuyasha is doing his best not to freak out. Not to yell. Not to destroy something. Miroku said if she needs to talk, then to listen. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, then offer her one.. His ears perked up again as he managed to speak.

"K-Kagome.." When her eyes met his once again, he held his arms out in an obvious invitation. He won't force her to touch him but if she wants to, he will gladly accept.

Kagome's lower lip trembled as she watched her brash and antisocial hanyou offer her something she very clearly needs. Especially from him. 'But am I worthy of his touch?'

Inuyasha sighed as his arms stayed outstretched for her. As if he could read her thoughts, he reassured her. "You are pure, Kagome. Please, let me help you.."

Immediately, her tears escaped in waves as she threw herself into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck while his went around her waist. She didn't even care that she ended up straddling his lap, she just really needs this. She needs him.

Inuyasha let out a soft rumble, almost like a purr, as his would-be mate snuggled her face into his neck and sobbed.

"Inu..yasha... I'm so so so sorry!"

He nuzzled his nose into her hair and took a deep breath in of her delicious scent. No traces of Naraku remained, just lavender and wild flowers. He could have sworn he scented a small trace of her blood, but decided it didn't seem to be too bad and he didn't want to upset her further.

"You ain't got nothin' to apologize for. You did nothin' wrong."

She wanted to argue. She wanted to tell him the truth. That she was only forced for the first four days after her three day sleep and then the final seven days she willingly gave herself to him. She wanted to come clean that she had enjoyed it during that time, that she actually felt happy... She ignored that tiny voice in her head telling her that her mind was taken over... She wasn't herself... She would never have done those things... But she ignored it because the truth of the matter is...

She remembers how she felt while thinking she was Naraku's wife...

She felt happy...

The sex felt good...

She begged for him to take her...

Kagome sobbed harder into the crook of his neck as those memories came crashing down on her like a freight train.

She pulled back from him and looked into his golden eyes. "Thank you, Inuyasha... For staying with me..."

Inuyasha squeezed her and gave her a small smile. "Always, Kagome."

Kagome nodded her head and hugged him again, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. 'I missed you, Inuyasha.' The way he hugged her harder made it seem like he could hear her and responded with the same sentiment.

'I missed you, my Kagome...'

°•°•°

A/N: So, I was gonna get through the doctor's appointment and the psychiatry appointment during this chapter, but my mind kept running away with me and I kept on adding more and more. So the next chapter will have those appointments.

Also, I do not condone self-harm.. If you think about hurting yourself or are hurting yourself, please seek help. I promise, it does get better. Yes, I speak from experience. This chapter was kind of hard for me to write because I do have a history of self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Plus, I was Kagome's age and in the same grade when I went through that..

Anyway, I'm hoping you are enjoying the angst and I will start on the next chapter right away while the ideas are still flowing.

Please review to let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!