InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Confrontation ❯ Wounded Hearts ( Chapter 30 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any of them, except Jouyoku and Miebi Kokushi

Chapter 30: Wounded Hearts

He stood outside the hut pacing impatiently as he waited for Keade to call him inside. She told him when he first arrived that he needed to wait while she and the girl Rin finished sponging off Kagome's body and redressed her, then she would need to give the girl Ayame something to make her sleep.

In no way did this appease him, if anything it added to his annoyance. First he was awakened by the smell of salt and tears. Then he was informed that the Jo-Jo fucker had almost raped Sango, and to top it off he couldn't get the smell of shit out of his nostrils. When he ran over here all he wanted was to see her, to sit next to her, and to smell her, that's all. His patience, not that he had any to begin with, was nowhere to be seen.

“Feh!” He huffed as he started to storm into the hut.

“Do you have no patience, Inuyasha?”

“Just my fucking luck.” He mumbled as he turned on his heels and glared at his obnoxious brother whom leaned casually against the wooden fence across from the hut. “Where in the fuck did you come from? And where in the hell were you when that bastard was trying to rape Sango?” Inuyasha demanded.

With one eyebrow raised Sesshomaru glared back at him, “I don't see how that's any business of yours, but if you must know I needed to attend to a matter in my lands.”

“What fucking ever!” Inuyasha snapped as he whipped around and attempted and step towards the hut.

“Inuyasha, the Miko is fine.”

“Feh, don't you think I already know that you ass!” The blood running through his veins were boiling. Yes, he was definitely upset but not at Sesshomaru. He was upset because when he was out cold that's when the bastard decided to show himself.

He couldn't help but wonder what if it was Kagome that had been taken?

In the state that she was currently in there was no possible way she could've defended herself. The thought of it, of him touching her and rubbing his…his thingy anywhere near his Kagome, his mate, his reason for existing was enough to send him spiraling out of control. And to make matters worse the hag wouldn't even let him get a peek at her. She was treating him like he was some kind of stranger.

Growling viciously Inuyasha balled up his fists and bared his fangs at his brother, “just leave me the fuck alone, will you!”

Smirking Sesshomaru could tell that his brothers' coil was wrapped tighter than normal. He also realized that his anger was not directed it him, he needed his mate he needed her soothing aura. So he figured why not toy with him a little. “Is the half-breed feeling a little love sick?”

“Fuck you.” The Hanyou snapped.

“No, I don't think so, but you should try that with the Miko.”

Looking as if he had just been slapped across the face Inuyasha blurted, “Go to hell!”

“I'll save a seat for you, right between myself and that stalking clay pot you call Kikyo.” Sesshomaru replied coldly with out so much as a blink of his eyes.

“You son of bitch!”

Chuckling to him self, which was something he very rarely did Sesshomaru stated, “I already told you, I'd rather be a son of bitch than the filthy half breed of filthy ninjen woman.”

“Lord Sesshomaru!” Rin blurted. She had just stepped out of the hut when she heard Sesshomaru's reply to Inuyasha. And to say the least it stunned her to hear her lord speak in such a manner about Inuyasha's mother.

Inuyasha stood there looking from Rin to Sesshomaru whom looked like he had just gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Having heard from Miroku about the change in his brother and the girls' relationship he couldn't wait to see how his brother wiggled his way out of this one. “What were you saying dear brother of mine?” Inuyasha taunted sarcastically.

Walking up to Sesshomaru Rin lowered her head so that he couldn't look at her face, “Milord?” she stated in a low tone.

“Yes Rin.”

“Am I a ninjen?”

“Yes Rin.”

“Are we a couple?”

He had no idea where her line of questioning was going but for some reason he knew it wasn't going to be good, “of course Rin.”

“Then that means that we'll some day have pups like Inuyasha, right? You know like what you just said, half-breeds.”

`Damn,' was the only thought that registered in his mind as he hesitantly replied, “Yes Rin.”

“So then that would make me a filthy ninjen woman and our pup's filthy half-breeds, right?” Rin spat as she raised her head to look at him. She couldn't remember ever being angry with her lord. She never got upset when he ran off for days on his journeys through his lands and would leave her with Jakken. She didn't get upset when he slaughtered hundreds of humans at once, she never said a thing no matter how much it upset her but this was the too much. She felt like it was an insult to her and to the pups she wanted to one day carry for him.

For the first time the great one was speechless. Staring down at the girl he didn't know whether to walk away or stand there and wait for more. Her eyes, they held so much anger and pain that it could have been a viable thing. So much so that he almost looked away from her. Who was this girl? What happened to the quiet Rin that said very little and would never in a million years challenge him?

Snickering off to the side Inuyasha shouted, “Finally someone was able to shout your ass up!”

Glancing at his brother with a look that could instantly peel the bark off of a tree, he growled loudly then quickly turned his attention back to his intended, “Rin…”

“Please answer me, Milord.” She pleaded quietly.

He would've scratched his head and rubbed his hand across his brow if he was the average man, but he was to smooth for that. He remained silent instead.

Stepping back away from him she stared up at him and sighed as tears started to blur her vision, “Milord, this Rin has remained at your side for many years and you have never once called her filthy. The thought of her becoming filthy by carrying your filthy half-breed pups hurts this Rin.”

Taking another step back she swallowed hard as she thought over what she was going to say next. She understood that he meant his comment as an insult to Inuyasha, but it spoke more to her and to what she would mean to him. Sure she may was a naïve young woman, but she had never considered herself to be stupid. “This Rin does not wish to be a couple with you any longer if it means that I will become a filthy ninjen and our pups will be no more than filthy half-breeds to you.” She stated slowly then with a quick bow she turned and hurriedly walked over to Inuyasha whom stood there in shock.

Bowing briefly she stated, “Lord Inuyasha this Rin does not think you or your mother is filthy.”

Watching the girl run off Inuyasha was almost afraid to look at Sesshomaru. He knew if it was Kagome and him he would've gotten sat a few times had she caught him doing something off handed, but he never expected the girl to say that. Inhaling deeply Inuyasha turned to his brother who stood there looking like he was nothing more than a stone statue, “so baka, what you going to do now, huh?”

Snapping out of his self-induced dazed Sesshomaru glared at Inuyasha, “This Sesshomaru does not run after petty ninjen women!”

Inuyasha tried to keep a straight face; he tried not to laugh at the warring emotions that his brother could not hide for once. “I guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks. First she was a filthy ninjen now she's a petty ninjen and you call me dumb!” Bursting out laughing Inuyasha fell to his knees cackling hysterically.

“Pfft,” was Sesshomaru's response as he headed off in the opposite direction that Rin ran off in. He told himself that he was not going to run after her, he was not going to apologize to her because he did nothing wrong. And he definitely would not beg her to be his mate that was her decision and as far as he was concerned she had made it.

He was Tai-Youkai women threw themselves at him, so why should he run after a mere ninjen.

“This Rin does not wish to be a couple with you any longer.” Those words played over and over in his head the further he walked away from the hut. Turning abruptly he hissed, “This Sesshomaru will not be tossed to the side as if he was no more than a pathetic ninjen.” Starting at a slow pace he quickly picked up speed. He didn't know when he had decided it but Rin had just become the hunted and he always caught his prey.

Standing back to his feet Inuyasha saw his brother coming at him at full speed, “that's right baka, you don't chase after petty ninjen women!” Inuyasha yelled as he burst out laughing again. The thought of Sesshomaru being brought practically to his knees by the mere words of a `filthy ninjen' woman half his size was too much for him to bare.

Trying to get control of himself he mumbled between bouts of laughter as he wiped the tears from his eyes, “oh, Kami…Oh, Kami I needed that.” For a while at least he didn't worry about Kagome, Sango, Jo-Jo the dipstick or even the pain in his shoulder and for that he could thank his stuck up obnoxious brother.

“Inuyasha you can come in now.” Keade said as she walked up to him with an empty basket in her hands.

“Hey, how's Kagome?” He asked as he pushed the rest of his laughter to the side for now.

“Well her condition hasn't really improved from last night, but maybe if she heard your voice it would help her wake up a little sooner.”

“Keade, what happened?” Inuyasha asked. With everything that he had been told he had never thought to ask anyone about that night.

“Well Inuyasha it appears that my sister tried to kill you or Kagome or maybe both of you. There was an arrow lodged in your shoulder when you arrived at the hut, but poor Kagome was already unconscious.”

“Kikyo,” he whispered as memories of that night before came flooding back to him. He was kissing Kagome, she screamed, he looked back and saw the arrow flying towards them, he tried to dodge it but it still hit him some how. “Oh, okay then.” He replied sullenly. `Kikyo tried to kill me because she saw me with Kagome.'

Turning to leave Keade stated, “Don't worry about Ayame she should be out for at least another 4 or 5 hours, maybe even more.”

To be honest that was the least of his worries. If Kikyo would just openly try to kill him or Kagome, what else was she capable of? He would definitely have to find her and put an end to her treachery.

Stepping in to the hut he immediately spotted his heart laying on a mat near the fire pit. Walking over to her he sat down and pulled her into his arms. Inhaling deeply he welcomed her scent to fill every orifice of his body as he leaned in and buried his face in her hair. Inhaling again he closed his eyes and whispered softly, “Kagome, it's time to wake up.”

She didn't budge an inch but this didn't worry him because her breathing was strong and even, from the looks of it she was merely sleeping.

“There's something I have to tell you, but you have to wake up if you want to know what it is.” He whispered trying to goad her inquisitive nature.

He felt rather stupid talking to her like this but if Keade thought that his voice might make her wake up any sooner, then he would talk forever, if it took that long.

“I knew from the moment I met you that you were going to be the death of me.” He stated jokingly, but the underlying mask he wore told a story of heartbreak, worry, sorrow, fatigue, love, need, and despair.

Pulling her as close to him as he could with out hurting her he tenderly brushed her bangs away from her eyes while making sure to be careful of the bandage that was wrapped tightly around her head. Sighing heavily, Inuyasha rested his forehead against hers and began to hum quietly. He knew her favorite song all too well, since she would put it on and let it play over and over and over again in that contraption of hers, she brought back from her time.

`Every long last dream, led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern Stars

Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms

This much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you.'

Opening his eyes a little he looked down at her hoping that she had awakened. “Damn, Kagome you got me here humming. I don't hum do you hear me? I…don't…hum.” He whispered with a smile as he closed his eyes again and started to quietly hum the second verse. `Anything for you Kagome, all you have to do is ask.'

Simonkal of Inuy

It was well into the afternoon before the Houshi was able to get the slayer to calm down enough that she would agree to take a nap and even then whenever he tried to get up to walk outside with Kouga and the others to discuss the happenings of the night before she would jump up looking around for him. A few times when he hadn't arrived quickly enough he had even heard her call for Kouga. However this didn't upset him, since he figured that she was latching on the person she deemed her savior.

He didn't want to do it, but she needed sleep and he needed to know exactly what happened and what they were going to do about this monster. So he sent Kouga back to Keade's hut to retrieve a few soothing herbs which he boiled into a tea for her to drink.

As he sat there watching her breathing even out he couldn't help the sorrowful smile that appeared on his face. How could he have been so blessed and yet so foolish? This woman that lay before him with her long dark hair and honey-tanned skin was everything to him: his savior, his salvation, and his redemption. She was the yen to his yang, the moon to his stars, and the birds to his trees. Without her there was no he.

The thought of not having her with him was enough to make him shudder. What would he have done if Kouga hadn't showed up? What would have become of him if she had been raped? Would he have been able to carry on…would he have even wanted to carry on?

Staring down at her he couldn't stop the tears that pooled around his eyelids. Yes, he had truly been blessed. From the day she walked into his life, he was blessed. The first time she slapped him, he was blessed. The first time her glare forced him to cower in fear, he was blessed. The first time she gently took his face in her soft tender hands and kissed his lips, he was blessed. Reaching up he wiped a tear away as it trailed down his cheek. “Sango, I am so sorry I wasn't there to save you, but I promise you…I will never allow any harm to come to you ever again. For as long as I breathe air this is my promise to you, my love.” He whispered as he leaned down and gently placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

Standing outside the door Kouga listened to the words that the Houshi spoke to his sleeping mate and he couldn't help the ache that built up in his chest. What had he done in his past life that was so horrible that he would be dealt a hand such as this?

If Ayame hadn't been raped would he have realized that it was she that he was meant for or would he still be chasing after Kagome? Was fate so cruel that it would force him to realize his true feelings only to have him remain alone?

Staring off into the forest that surrounded the hut he blinked a few times to quill the feeling of tears that threatened to show them selves. Perhaps this was really all he deserved. To stand on the sidelines and watch true love happen right in front of his face, to see two people so connected that not even death could separate them and yet he could only imagine what that would feel like. He wanted it, he could taste it, it was right there with in his grasp and yet still so far away.

His soul cried for Ayame, begged him to go to her and make her understand; he wanted to beat her until she got over that monster but he knew that would never happen.

He wanted to cry, shout, and yell, to openly weep and scream into the sky but he couldn't do that…he wouldn't do that not now, not here.

Sitting there on the steps of the home of the woman he thought he once loved and the man that had always held her heart tight with in his grasp, he realized that his heart was broken. There was no help for him and there was no one else for him. This life that he lived and that he at one time loved was a cruel joke a hoax. The reality of it was this: You live to love but love doesn't have to love you back, hell it may never love you back. If you're smart you'll grab onto it at its first sight and you'll hold on for dear life, otherwise you may never get another chance. Love is like time…it waits for no man or youkai.

`The Monk and the Slayer, dog shit and Kagome, the Inu lord and the ninjen girl Rin, they all found love and they held on to it. They didn't try to deny what was right in front of their faces. They embraced it maybe even fought against it a little but never once did they deny it, turn away from it, run from it, and lie to it. I denied it, lied to it, ran from it, pushed it away and refused to accept it. Now look at me, broken hearted, empty, a black abyss floating aimlessly in the belly of the most vile beast, filled with anger, jealousy, resentment, and sadness.' Hanging his head low he sighed as he heard his soul whisper again for him to go the Ayame. Ignoring it he looked towards the sky a sullen frown on his face, `this is what I deserve, this is `all' that I deserve.'

Fate was a funny thing, it could be kind and it could be cruel, but no matter what it was, it was always…just fate.

“Kouga, are you okay out here?” The Houshi asked as he quietly stepped onto the porch.

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

“Where's Inuyasha?” The monk inquired already knowing the answer.

“Do you have to ask?”

“You don't want to go check on Ayame?” He asked as he sat down next to the wolf youkai and stared across the field into the forest following the gaze of his companion.

“What for, I'm sure nothing has changed.” He replied solemnly.

Glancing over at the wolf then back into the forest Miroku didn't know what to say. The once upbeat, pompous, overly flirtatious, and all too sure of himself youkai had given up. He remembered several different occasions back when they were fighting Naraku, Kouga would get beaten to within an inch of his life and he would still stand there determined to do battle, refusing to give up or bow down. “This doesn't seem like you.”

“What?” Kouga responded sounding overly annoyed.

“You've given up on her…on Ayame when there's still hope.”

With a sarcastic smirk Kouga chuckled, “have you heard something that I haven't monk, because the last time I checked my mate was loosing her fucking mind and there wasn't a damn thing I or anyone else could do about it.”

Taking a moment he allowed the wolf's words to sink in. “If it wasn't for you…I would be in the same situation. I thank Buddha that you found my love in time, but Kami forbid if she was raped by that animal…” He choked on his words a little, “If she had been raped Kouga, the only thing that could make me stop praying for a cure…hell, the only time I would stop having faith that she would get better would be the day I cleaned her body, dressed it in white and sent her to the after life to wait for me. Until then…” Turning to look at Kouga with tears threatening to fall the monk continued, “I would love her even more than I loved her yesterday even if it had to be from a distance.”

He could feel the saliva building up in the back of his throat, the tears stubbornly pushing there way up and through his tear ducts and he fought it.

What the Monk said was true and it bit at his heart, his soul, and his very being. He had given up on her; he'd given up on himself. He was too afraid to believe that this could have a happy ending. He was too afraid that the disappointment in the end would be the final straw that claimed his life. Sure right now the admiral thing to do would be to tell the monk that he would try, but he wasn't about to make a promise he wasn't even 20 percent sure he could keep.

Blinking rapidly he continued to stare into the forest as the first of his tears slid silently down the side of his face. Refusing to wipe it away he tried to remain stoic, unemotional, and cold. He tried to ignore the tug against his soul…the ache to run to her…the tingle that told him that even in her defeated deteriorating state her youkai still needed him even if her mind had forgotten him. “I…I didn't…I didn't save her.” He whispered his voice heavy from the weight of his tears begging for release. “Why couldn't…I save her? Why did I push her away?”

Miroku didn't look at him because he knew he was crying and he had every right to. So he would allow him to hold on to as much of his dignity and his pride as he could. “You can't dwell on things you can not change, but the future is yours to design as you see fit.” He stated reassuringly.

Kouga sniffled softly as he tried to quill the need to openly weep. This was the most emotion he had ever in his life showed to anyone. He was Kouga Prince of the Northern Mountains and now he sat here next to a ninjen Monk weeping as if he was no more than a pup.

At this moment neither pride nor ego mattered, nor did his status. His soul hurt, his heart was broken, his spirit begged for something he couldn't give it. The only thing he could do was cry. Lowering his head so that it rested in his hands he wept unabashedly for Ayame, for himself, for their unborn pups, for a future he was too afraid to believe in…for a future that he wasn't even sure he deserved.

Closing his eyes Miroku chanted a silent prayer that he hoped would help ease the tormented Youkai's tortured soul. He had never heard a man cry in such a manner, but he could fully understand why.

The once Youkai and Monk now friends would sit in silence as nothing more than two men with wounded hearts for the rest of the evening or at least until the slayer awakened then they would join Sesshomaru and Inuyasha at Keade's hut.

Simonkal of Inuy

The darkness was all around her like a heavy blanket covering every inch of her body.

She wasn't quite sure if she was floating or if she was lying down on something because she couldn't feel anything except the pounding in the back of her head, and a heavy weight pressing down on her chest.

She had tried several times to call out for help, but no one came. She realized that she was alone in this ocean of endless darkness. She tried looking around but there was nothing. Honestly she didn't know whether her eyes were open or closed, the only thing she knew was the darkness.

She felt like she could've been dreaming, but then wouldn't she dream in color or at least different shades of grays and white? The only thing here was black, black and blacker. Where was she and why was she here?

Had she died and someone forgot to tell her? She knew that couldn't be true because every now and then she would hear a familiar voice but just as quickly as it came it vanished and the only thing that remained was the pain.

`When you're dead is it possible to still feel pain?' She couldn't answer that after all she had never really died before. `Maybe I'll ask Inuyasha about that.'

She gasped as his name ran through her mind, `Inuyasha, where's Inuyasha? Is he all right? Why haven't I heard his voice?' She questioned as she felt the weight on her chest ease up just a little.

`Please Inuyasha, be okay. If I'm here then does that mean that I got hurt?' “Oh, Kami…Inuyasha!” She screamed into the darkness but once again there was no reply. She didn't know why but she all of a sudden felt a need to fight against the darkness, to will it away.

“Inuyasha!” She screamed again as she tried to force her self up from under the darkness, but it was so heavy, so tiring, “Inuyasha, where are you? Why did you leave me?” She whispered sadly.

“Inuyasha, please don't leave me here. Please save me.” She begged repeatedly but quieted when she heard a voice that seemed to be talking to her.

“It's time to wake up.”

“What?” She asked the voice but it said nothing else. `Was that him? Was that Inuyasha?' She thought to herself as she tried again to fight against the darkness,“Inuyasha where are you?” She screamed

“I have something to tell you, but you have to wake up first.”

That time she was sure it was him, “Inuyasha, where are you?” She screamed as the voice faded away once more. `I have to wake up? Am I sleeping? What in the hell is going on?' She wanted to move in the direction of his voice but the darkness it seemed to wrap tighter around her body the more she struggled against it.

Lying still she willed the darkness to go away and prayed that where ever Inuyasha was he would keep talking to her, because at least then she would know that he was okay.

“I knew from the moment I met you that you were going to be the death of me.”

She probably would've smiled at his playful comment had her spirit not felt so beaten down by the weight of the darkness. `When I wake up I think…I'll get out of here, Inuyasha…I'll do my best…I promise.' That was her last coherent thought as she allowed the darkness to swallow her.

Until Next Time…