InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Confrontation ❯ A New Horizon ( Chapter 48 )

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to anyone with the exception of Jouyoku and Miebi Kokushi.

 

Chapter 48: A New Horizon

 

It had been two long arduous agonizing moons since he had found her…since she had returned to him.

 

After she collapsed in his arms the hanyou lifted her and carried her to the far side of the lake, into a cave that was hidden behind the small waterfall that spilled into the lake.

 

He wasn't sure exactly how long she would be asleep, but he knew until he was able to talk to her and make sure that she was mentally stable, he didn't want anyone around or near her.

 

The night she had returned to him he spent hours just staring at her sleeping face, touching her soft skin, caressing her soft dark mane and thanking the Kami's for giving him a second chance.

 

On the first full day, he had left the cave long enough to retrieve a small amount of kindling to make a small fire. He then spent about 30 minutes or so catching and cleaning some small fish, in case she was hungry when she decided to grace him with her beautiful smile.

 

Inuyasha thought about going back to his house to grab a blanket and something for Kagome to drink from, but he quickly thought better of it. After all he didn't want to answer any questions as to where he was and what he was doing. So instead he found a downed tree and using his Tetsusaiga and his claw he carved out a large bowl to hold the fish and smaller one to hold water should she be thirsty.

 

In the end he ended up eating the fish and drinking the water since she seemed to have decided that she didn't want to wake up. Outside of a few soft moans and light groans he didn't get much movement from her that day.

 

On the second day he did pretty much the same thing, with the exception of catching a small rabbit to add to the fish that he had already cleaned.

 

He spent the bigger part of that day with her head in his lap and trying not to think about all that she had been through. Once again he thanked Kami that she was back and for the most part, in one piece, as far as he could tell.

 

It was now well into the third day. The sun had already hit its peak in the sky and was slowly descending into the west and still she had not awakened.

 

Inuyasha tried not to let it concern him too much.

 

He entertained the thought of waking her up, but figured that she would awaken on her own when her body was fully rejuvenated. After all, he could hear her heart becoming stronger and stronger with every minute, hour, and day that went by.

 

Sighing heavily he tried to quiet his mind, as it slowly turned once more in a direction that he didn't want it to go.

 

Crawling away from the entrance of the cave where he was sitting he crept closer to her in order to allow her scent to waft over him. He hoped that it would quiet his mind, but it didn't, not this time.

 

It only served to push him a little further over the edge that he was already dangling from.

 

Stretching out next to her, he silently pleaded with her to wake up. To tell him…show him that she really was okay. Prove to him…prove to him that her coming back… Her being returned to him was not all in vain.

 

Gently pulling her closer to him, he buried his face in her hair and inhaled. `He didn't hurt you. Please tell me he didn't hurt you.'

 

He knew she was trying to tell him something the night he found her, but he didn't want to listen. He refused to hear what she wanted to say and even now though his mind was plagued with thoughts of things that may have been done to her, the scared frantic part of him still didn't want to know.

 

If he had listened, would it have made a difference? Would he be here now or would he have turned away from her?

 

`She's still a virgin. Her scent…her scent isn't tainted by him.' He hissed in hopes that it would subdue that little voice that just wouldn't shut up!

 

`Did he touch you, Kagome? Did he make you do things you didn't want to? Was he violent with you? Is that why you gave your life away so freely?'

 

Subconsciously he already knew the answers to his questions, but he still needed her reassurance. He still needed to look into her eyes and see the woman he loved and adored. He needed to hear her sweet voice, see her smile and then maybe…just maybe it would all be okay.

 

“Kagome,” he whispered into her ear hoping that she would hear him and respond, but she didn't.

 

Leaning in a little closer to her cheek so that his nose was lined up with hers, he inhaled the breath she exhaled. Then exhaled so that she would inhale the breath he had just exhaled. He didn't know why he did this, he just felt the overwhelming urge to be closer to her…in her…a part of her, even if it was only for a moment in time.

 

The hanyou sighed and rested his forehead against the side of hers, “I missed you wench. I really…really did. Don't ever leave me again.” He stated softly.

 

Secretly he hoped…prayed that when she awakened he'd have the courage to say it again.

 

Moments ticked pass and all he could hear was the rush of the water falling over the entrance of the cave, until she grunted, twisted her head from side to side and mumbled weakly, “Inu...”

 

Sitting up quickly the hanyou lifted her head and rested it in his lap, hoping that this meant that she was finally waking up. “Kagome, I'm right here. Just open your eyes. I'm right here.”

 

Her brow frowned in concentration and she moaned as if she was in pain, but her eyes didn't open.

 

“Come on Wench, you can do it. Open your eyes.”

 

She heard his voice, knew he was close, really close to her, “Inu…yasha.”

 

“I already told you, I'm right here. Just open your eyes.” He stated playfully as he absently brushed her bangs away from her face.

 

The miko groaned weakly but this time her eyes slowly opened. Her vision was blurred leaving her with a horrible case of double vision, but she could easily make out his face. His long silver mane and those eyes…those all seeing. Those earth shattering golden orbs that could see straight into ones soul.

 

She tried to give him a weak smile but her lips were so dry that she thought they might crack. Closing her eyelids for a brief moment she could hear the rush of a powerful water flow, but she didn't know exactly what it was. “W…where am I? Where are we?” She asked weakly her voice sounding more like a croak then a whisper.

 

Smiling down at her with a welcoming smirk on his handsome face Inuyasha whispered, “You're safe now, that's all that matters.” While pulling her closer to him as if he was afraid she would try to run away.

 

Lifting her hand slowly to the side of his face she caressed his cheek gently with her thumb. Running her finger effortlessly across the line of his lower lip she smiled at him with her eyes, “I…I missed you.”

 

“You have no idea.” The obnoxiously smirking hanyou replied, while leaning down and placing a soft kiss to her overly dry lips. Sitting back he reached for the water that he had gathered earlier and tipped it to her lips. “Take your time. I don't need you choking.”

 

While slowly drinking down the lukewarm water Kagome stared up at her hanyou as if she still didn't believe she was with him. `I wished for his happiness, not my return. So does this mean that I'm what makes him happy? Does this mean that he loves me? He's never said it, but…'

 

“That's enough wench, you need to take it slow. Your throat will get raw if you drink too fast or too much.” The Hanyou stated as he sat the water bowl beside him. “Are you hungry? I could mash up some fish so that it will make it easier for you to swallow if you want.”

 

`He's being so helpful...so loving. What happened while I was gone? Did it change him? How long…how long was I gone?' The miko thought while nodding in reply.

 

Shifting his body from below her, Inuyasha laid her flat against the floor, “Do you want one fish or two?” He asked as he brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face.

 

The miko tried to chuckle softly at his attempt at being nurturing but failed, “O…one.”

 

“Okay, just lay still. This will only take a second.” He stated while making his way back to the small fire.

 

She turned her head in his direction and quietly watched him work. He split the already cooked fish down the middle then proceeded to strip each bone of the soft white meat that clung to it, letting it fall into a small bowl that she had never seen before. He then used what she thought was a small mallet and began to gently mash the bits of fish together.

 

`I thought he would've used his fingers.' She thought absently as she glanced down at the red material that covered her body. `His haori?'

 

Fingering the ends of the cloth she was wrapped in her mind replayed the scene from the lake. `I was naked when I woke up, that's why I'm wearing this. I was trying to bathe…wash…Jouyoku…I…Gods. The things I did. How can I expect Inuyasha to be with me after everything I did?' Turning her head away from the hanyou in question she closed her eyes as her thoughts took a turn for the worse, `I can't deal with what I did. So how…how can I expect him to forgive me? How can I expect him to treat me…like he did before.' A tear slowly trailed out the corner of her eye, `I would get upset with him for just seeing Kikyo, but now…Gods, I'm such a hypocrite!'

 

“Oi, my cooking isn't that bad!” Inuyasha stated as he made his way back to where she was laying.

 

Kagome didn't turn to face him but she did smile sadly at his small attempt at humor.

 

Settling down next to her, he elevated her head in his lap. “Come on, you've got to eat so you can regain your strength.” Inuyasha was trying to ignore the real reason for her tears. He didn't want to talk about what happened. He didn't want to even touch the topic of what she might have gone, through. Hell, he was just happy to have her back. But he knew…deep down he knew, that he wouldn't be able to run from it forever.

 

“Inu…Inuyasha how long?”

 

Situating the bowl where he could easily reach it he readjusted her head while replying, “Hmm?”

 

“How long was I…I gone?”

 

He stilled his movements, stared down at her and smiled, “ Three incredibly long exhausting days, wench.”

 

She thought that over then asked, “How long was I a…asleep?”

 

Fingering the bits of fish he closed his forefingers around a small portion and brought it to her lips, “Two incredibly long exhausting days, wench.”

 

Taking in the food she slowly began to chew it while smiling softly up at him. `His eyes are so warm…so inviting. He's so…so happy.' She thought as she slowly swallowed and opened her mouth to take in more.

 

“I checked you over while you were sleep and you seem to be okay, outside of the scratches you inflicted on yourself. So when you're strong enough, if you want…we can…we can go home, okay?”

 

Swallowing the miko stared up at him unblinking. Her face emotionless almost cold or was she scared, “Home?”

 

“Yeah Wench, home.” The Inu Prince replied with a smirk.

 

“Home” Kagome mumbled as if she was having trouble grasping exactly what he was saying to her.

 

Taking up another pinch of food for her to eat, Inuyasha stated, “Yeah, home. You remember that place that I spent weeks, almost months building? The place I told you was mine, but you stole from me? That place, it's called home, Wench. Our home.”

 

She blinked once…twice, and then smiled at him, “Home. I…I miss home.” She whispered softly.

 

“Well then eat up. As soon as you're strong enough, we'll go.”

 

They sat in silence for a long almost uncomfortable period of time while he slowly fed her and waited for her to chew, then swallow. Even as he sat there watching her, he could tell that she was not affected like the other women had been, but he still wanted to know. A part of him needed to ask her what happened that made it so that she couldn't…didn't wait for him to save her.

 

He sighed softly as he fed her the last of the fish and reached for the water so that she could drink. `If I ask her and she tells me, will I be able to handle it? Will it change the way I feel about her?' He felt her weight shift and he looked down, she was trying to push herself up off his lap.

 

Holding her down he stated, “Kagome, your not strong enough to sit up yet.”

 

Pushing against him, she hissed as if in pain, “Yes…I am.”

 

“No you're not! Just lie still for a while longer, okay?”

 

“Inuyasha please. I don't want to fight with you. Just…I need…just let me sit up.” This was all whispered.

 

Staring at her, he gritted his teeth and exhaled grudgingly, “Stubborn as ever, I see.” He stated but helped her up so that she was sitting between his raised knees with her back leaning against his chest. “There, that's as good as it's going to get, and I don't want to hear anything else about it.”

 

`Same old Inuyasha.' She thought with a light sigh, but thanked him just the same.

 

After a few moments of silence Kagome cleared her throat and allowed herself to relax against him, “Sesshomaru…is Sesshomaru okay?”

 

Inuyasha glared at the side of her head. `Why in the hell is she asking about Sesshomaru? Why wouldn't he be okay?' He then remembered that when he turned human Sesshomaru was locked in battle with Jouyoku. He didn't remember anything after that, with the exception of that uptight bastard refusing to kill him when he asked him to. Of course he was glad now, that Sesshomaru had denied him, but he still hated his guts.

 

Grunting Inuyasha replied, “That pompous bastard is fine. Why'd you ask about him?”

 

Her head took a small dip forward as she clasped her hands in her lap. If she told him that she had purified Sesshomaru in order to go with Jouyoku, would he hate her? Would he let her explain why she did what she did?

 

“Why are you asking me about Sesshomaru?” Inuyasha asked again, his voice holding a little more force than absolutely necessary. It just didn't seem right to him that she would ask about his asshole of a brother before she asked about Sango or Miroku. Or even Shippo for that matter. `Did I miss something while I was unconscious?' If he were alone, he probably would've punched himself for thinking that, since he knew full well that he had missed a whole lot.

 

The girl still didn't respond.

 

“Hello, earth to Kagome.” Inuyasha stated while turning her slightly so that he could look into her face. “Did something happen…that I should know about?”

 

She glanced up at him then down again at her hands, “I…When Jouyoku came to take me, Sesshomaru tried to stop him, but he was already badly injured. So…so in order to keep him from causing anymore harm to himself…I…I purified him a little bit so he wouldn't interfere.”

 

Blinking a few times Inuyasha replayed what she said in his head. “You…did…what!” He yelled in disbelief. `She…she wanted to go with him! What the hell!'

 

“Please, don't…just…just listen.” The miko pleaded weakly.

 

Inuyasha's teeth clenched so hard that his jaws cracked, but he said nothing. He just glared at her hoping she would have a damn good explanation for doing something so fucking stupid!

 

“I didn't…I didn't think Sesshomaru would be able to beat Jouyoku in the condition he was in without being killed. And with Rin pregnant and them being mates, I didn't want to take that chance. I…I didn't think that my life…” Looking up at him she finished, “ My life wasn't worth Rin's, Sesshomaru's and their child. Please…don't be mad.”

 

Inuyasha stared at her in disbelief. His mind reeling with hateful things he could and should say to her, but the only thing that came out was, “Are you fucking stupid?” Pushing away from her he stood up and walked a little ways away before he turned back to face her. His eyes were trimmed with a dangerous amount of fiery red, “Your life…your life wasn't worth theirs?” He repeated heatedly. Scratching the back of his head he continued angrily, “What the fuck, Kagome! Didn't you think about me at all! Did you even consider what would happen to me if you were gone? Or was it all about Sesshomaru and his bitch?”

 

She stared at him, tears swelling up in her eyes, “I did it for you as well. He promised me that he wouldn't kill you. He said…he said…” Shaking her head she tried again, “He had you impaled on his claws. I…I…”

 

“I don't want to hear this shit! Midoriko said you weren't selfish, but you've got to be the most selfish bitch I know!” Of course under normal circumstances he would've never said such a hateful thing, but at this moment the hanyou was angry beyond belief!

 

He couldn't believe…couldn't accept the fact that she went with that bastard willingly! He didn't care what her fucking reason was! He couldn't tolerate the thought…the idea that the one person that could've protected her…saved her…the one person that would've saved him from the heartache and grief that he experienced was incapacitated by her doing! “I can't believe you! You knew what he was going to do! You knew and you went willing! Fuck Kagome, what the hell were you thinking? Did you want to be with him?” Placing his hands on his hips he growled heatedly, “What in the fuck is wrong with you?”

 

Tears streaming down her face, she pulled her knees to her chest and whispered, “I didn't think…”

 

“You're damn right you didn't fucking think! Why couldn't you? For once Kagome, why didn't you just fucking listen! Fuck…fuck…fuck!” He hissed out of frustration as he clenched and opened his fist repeatedly while turning in a slow tight circle.

 

“Please don't hate me.” The miko pleaded quietly while watching the man she loved pace before her. She knew he was looking for something to rip apart…something to hit and she couldn't blame him. Wiping away her tears with the back of her hand she continued, “I…didn't have time to think about myself, Inuyasha. I could only see you, impaled on his claws.” Stuttering she finished, “I…I…I only thought about saving you and the others.”

 

Inuyasha turned away from her, stared into the silver strands of the waterfall falling over the cave entrance and sighed. He knew he was wrong to yell at her, but he couldn't help it. He knew he shouldn't have beangry with her, because perhaps she did save his life and the lives of Sesshomaru, Rin and their whelp. `Damn it all! She died because of them! She was touched, groped, and only god knows what else because of her selflessness!'

 

Growling viciously as images flashed in his head of things Jouyoku might have done to her, the hanyou lost control and lashed out, punching the wall repeatedly…wordlessly, until the smell of his blood assailed his senses stopping him mid punch. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, and double damn fuck!” He hissed then began to lick his torn knuckles

 

The Miko had never seen him so angry with her before. She wanted to go to him, hold him, beg him for forgiveness but what right did she have? He was right. What she did was stupid. It was careless and downright selfish to an extent, but what other choice did she have? “Inuyasha don't hate me. Please don't hate me for what I did. If I had it to do all over again, I would always choose to save you. Even if it cost me my life, I would always choose you.”

 

His teeth clenched, his hands balled into tight fists as he tried to control his anger. He wanted to be angry with her! He wanted to teach her that her life meant more than his…than Sesshomaru or his mate, but he honestly couldn't, because she was right. In the end, when all was said and done, the fact remained that she was right. Had the tables been turned he would've done the same thing, if it meant she would live, he would've definitely done the same exact thing.

 

Her soul cried for him, begged her to go to him. To make him understand…make him continue to love her…want her, but she couldn't. She didn't feel like she deserved him or his forgiveness. “Inu…”

 

Cutting her off he responded softly, “I'm…I'm sorry. I'm…I'm not mad at you. I would've probably done the same thing.” Turning back to face her, he continued, “I guess I'm mad at myself for not protecting you and I'm pissed at that bastard, Jouyoku for taking you…t…touching you.” Kneeling before her, he inhaled deeply before he spoke again, “I need you to understand something Kagome. Your life means more to me than anything else in this world. When you were gone. When I woke up and you were gone, I almost went crazy. When I found out that you were…dead…my God Kagome, do you know what I went through? Do you know how much I need you? I wanted to follow you. Did you know that? I tried…I really tried to follow you.” Lifting her chin so that she was looking at him, “My world stopped turning, Wench. Without you here with me…beside me…” Reaching up he wiped away a few stray tears that ran down her cheek then stared her straight in her eyes, his voice stern, “Next time Sesshomaru wants to protect you, I don't give a shit what his condition is, you better let him.”

 

Looking up into his pained golden eyes she nodded in agreement to his request then stated, “I'm sorry Inuyasha, I didn't mean for it to happen like that. Initially I thought he would take me and you would save me, but things got out of hand pretty fast and I…”

 

Placing a finger to her lips he silenced her, “I only have one question that I want you to answer for me? Then I don't want to ever discuss this again, do you understand?”

 

She nodded and waited patiently for his question. `If he asks me what happened, I'll tell him. I'll tell him everything and leave it up to him to decide whether he still wants me.'

 

Inuyasha stared at her without seeing her. He was lost in his own mind trying to figure out a way to ask what he needed to know without finding out what he didn't want to know. In his head this made all the sense in the world, but how would he ask her without her telling him the sordid details. Details that would undoubtedly force him to go back to that place and Diamond Spear Blast it into oblivion. `I think I'll do that anyway,` he thought absently.

 

Shaking his head he removed his finger from her lips. “First I want you to know that no matter what your response is…” He inhaled, blinked tried to gather up as much gusto as possible, since he had never said anything close to what he was about to before. “…I want you to know I will not leave you, no matter what your answer is.”

 

Kagome smiled at him. He was telling her in his own way that she was forgiven. He was telling her that in some way…some how he understood her decision. For that she was grateful. “Never?”

 

Shaking his head he responded softly, “Never.”

 

Reaching out she tenderly brushed her hand down the side of his cheek then sat back and waited for his question.

 

“Why…why didn't you wait for me? You knew I would come for you didn't you?”

 

She looked away from him as pictures of Jouyoku on top of her, kissing her and touching her danced in her head. She could feel the way it felt when he was trying to force his vile member into her and she shuddered. Wrapping her arms around her body she replied, “Inuyasha, I can't…”

 

“Just tell me. Whatever it is, I'll deal with it. I won't hate you.” The hanyou stated as he sat down and pulled her into his lap.

 

She didn't want to tell him, now that he was asking. She knew he deserved to know what happened, but was it absolutely necessary to give him the lewd details? Sighing, she let her head rest on his shoulder and her arms encircle his waist. “I knew you were coming, but I couldn't hold him off. He…he was trying to take something that…that didn't belong to him.”

 

`He was trying to take something that didn't belong to him, huh?' In his mind he had a clear picture what she was getting at and it angered him, but for now at least tonight he would set his anger aside. “What he was trying to take from you, was it worth your life?”

 

Tightening her hold on him as if she thought he was going to push her away she responded softly, “ Yes.”

 

“And you have no regrets?”

 

“None…but Inuyasha that's more than one question.”

 

The hanyou chuckled and kissed her cheek, “Yeah I know, but I had to make sure.”

 

Kagome relaxed into his embrace as he wrapped his arms tighter around her and leaned back against the wall. “Inuyasha?”

 

“Hmm”

 

“I…I love you. You know that, don't you?”

 

She didn't see the blush that crept up his cheeks or the toothy grin that graced his flushed face. Cradling her tighter against him, he stated, “You better, now get some sleep. The sooner you get your strength back the sooner we can go home.

 

Inuyasha held onto her for dear life that night. He used her scent and her aura to quiet the voices that kept whispering to him that she had been touched. They told him that another man…youkai had been where only he was supposed to go. `She can still be my mate. As long as she's still a virgin she can still be my mate.' He knew that he would beat them… he would one day quiet them, but for tonight, as long as they spoke in hushed tones he would deal with it. For tonight, as long as she was locked in his embrace, he would be able to fight them…ignore them and pretend, if only for tonight, that they really weren't there.

 

Until Next Time…All reviews are greatly appreciated.