InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Conversations Concerning...'That' ❯ Enter FreakGirl--aka, Kagome ( Chapter 6 )

Tsuki: *silent*

Akina: we're listening to the creepy Donnie Darko soundtrack. It's scary.

Tsuki: *buries face in Akina's spine* I hate that bunny.

Akina: it's the same day as the last chapter we wrote, so you're really lucky.

Tsuki: THE BUNNY! *cries*

Akina: heh. Heh heh. You're actually afraid of it?

Tsuki: *silent*

Akina: right. Well, we have some ideas, so we're going to share them with you as soon as I can pry Tsuki's face off my spine.

Tsuki: *cries*

Sesshoumaru vs. Pervert-child, Part II

Sesshoumaru pulled himself up off the ground, unable to admit to deafeat. Flinching as the pervert's voice grew louder, he reached over and started to strangle the boy.

"I love you…you love…me…" the child struggled to continue singing.

When Sesshoumaru realized that he was singing along with the child, he almost swallowed his own tongue. When the hell had he learned the lyrics of the satan-song? This was a troubling matter, and deserved a lot of thought. He released the child and sat down on a nearby boulder, staring into oblivion as he contemplated the inner meaning of the secretive lyrics. Could it be some form of brainwashing technique?

Left to his own devices again, Miroku knew three things. One, he was angry with the strange demon for trying to kill him. Two, he was holding a sword twice his height and the demon wasn't paying attention to him. Three, he could smell the cheesecake on the youkai and he knew that his stomach couldn't continue without it.

With a squeaky battle cry, he flew from the ground at Sesshoumaru, weilding the Tensigah and his mini-monk stick.

So surprised was Sesshoumaru that he was beaten to the ground again before he could even realize what was happening.

"I wiiiiinnnnnn!" Miroku creened. "Gimmie the cheesecake!"

"No! Not the cheesecake! Anything-but-the-cheesecake!" Sesshoumaru gasped, pratically in tears.

Miroku grinned triumphantly when Sesshoumaru handed him the sacred cheesey-goodness. Unwrapping it, he stuck his face into the triangle-shaped piece of heaven.

"NooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sesshoumaru screamed, watching as Miroku scrubbed the cheesecake into his hair. "No more, no more!"

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Inuyasha paused when he heard the scream. Either Sesshoumaru had realized he was gone, or Miroku had eaten his sword. Figuring that it was the latter, he looked around again.

The only landmarkish thing in the area was an old well, covered with ivy and overgrown weeds. It was obviously somehow magical however, because there were faint indications of a powerful magical aura that his hanyou senses just barely detected.

He walked closer to the sense of this aura, wondering what it was about the well that made it so much specialer than other wells.

That was when he saw the freak.

She was about his age, with short brown hair and a face disturbingly similar to Kikyo's. For a moment, he was afraid that she was his stalker, but decided that she was the stalker's twin when he saw her funny clothes.

He poked her shoulder, drawing her wide-eyed frightened face to himself. "Hey, why are you wearing such weird clothes? Are you a clown or something?"

"No!" she squeaked. "And who are you to talk, with your kitty ears?!"

"They're dog ears, thanks a lot. And I'm a hanyou. What's your excuse?"

"I don't need one. I'm a normal person from Tokyo, you're some sort of diseased freak. Now leave me alone while I try to get home."

He gaped open-mouthed at her. "Feh," he said automatically. "Well, FreakGirl, I'm going to go home."

"My name is not FreakGirl, thank you very much. It's Kagome. Say it with me now, Ka-Go-Me."

"I can repeat things you know,"

"So you're saying you're part parrot too?"

"No," he was confused. "I'm Inuyasha. But I'm a guy. That's all there is to me, I'm half human, half dog youkai."

"Ah," Kagome replied. "So you mean there are more freaks like you around here?"

"…" he stared at her again. "Sure,"

With that, he turned and walked into the forest again, presumably in the direction that he had come. Remember, the hanyou idiot is lost. Without a word, Kagome followed him to look for more weird people.

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Sesshoumaru vs. Pervert-child, Part III

Unable to do anything else, Sesshoumaru jumped at Miroku with all of his resolve. He tackled the little kid, prying the sword away from him.

Miroku was angry now, upset that Sesshoumaru had taken away his lunch. He would have eaten the Tensigah after a while you see, because he wouldn't have known what else to do with it. Inuyasha knew that, since he had lost a myriad of toys to the perverted monk-child.

He jumped up and away from Sesshoumaru, whipping out his monk-stick and growling.

"That thingy is mine, now give it back!"

Sesshoumaru gaped at the kid, wondering how his obviously challenged mind had reached that conclusion. There was no way that his precious sword could ever possibly belong to such a degenerate and twisted creature.

"No," he managed, turning to walk back towards his home.

Miroku was mad. Very mad. Like, he was spitting guacamole he was so mad. Sessy-sama didn't notice or care, happy with his sword and the general lack of hanyou in the area. He was unprepared for the pervert-child's final attack.

Running and screaming, Miroku jumped up and grabbed two fist fulls of Sesshoumaru's well-cared-for sliver-blue locks of hair.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

The sword was dropped in an attempt to kill the source of the undescribable pain. Sesshoumaru had never attacked so thoughtlessly before. So when he smacked the back of his own head, it only added insult to injury.

Miroku in the meanwhile had injested the Tensigah. He had had a small amount of trouble fitting it in his mouth, but with some gnawing on the scabbard everything turned out okay after all.

Sess began to cry…

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Inuyasha knew that his brother was beating up Miroku. He felt sorry for his friend, and then he didn't any more. Payback for every beating I ever got with that stupid little stick of his.

When he paused to verify that he was indeed heading for the human village, Kagome took the opportunity to latch onto his ears. Not just tweaking them mind you, like any sane little kid would, she tried to PULL THEM OFF HIS HEAD!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Inuyasha flailed about and tried to shake her off, but it was no use. They ended up falling down a small cliff. Nothing large, but far enough for Kagome to smack her head quite nicely on the rocks. Luckily for our little hanyou hero, he landed on Kagome instead of the other way around and was generally unharmed.

"Whew, glad I'm okay," Inuyasha said, dusting himself off. "C'mon little stalker friend, we have to get back before it gets dark out, or Sessy will kill me."

"My name is…Little Stalker Friend?" she asked curiously.

"No….." Inuyasha said, staring at her blankly. "It's Kagome. Or at least that's what you told me. If you're confessing that your real name is Little Stalker Friend, then okay. But first let me tell you, you have some weird parents."

"No! My name's whatever you just said it was, I wasn't really paying attention to your irritating rambling. I…I can't remember anything!"

Inuyasha was at a loss of what to do. So he shrugged and walked off. "Don't get lost, Little Forgetful Stalker Buddy. There are demons around here."

Little Forgetful Stalker Friend followed him along, not questioning where she was going or who she was anymore. If this story got into paradoxes involving Kagome's mind it would only end up with dead authors and insti-clone jello messes everywhere.

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Sesshoumaru vs Pervert-child, Final Melee

Sess stared at the child that had just eaten his sword. He wasn't quite sure how exactly the small child had injested it, seeing as the sword was twice his height. But he did know that humans had digestive systems and were full of acid, and that his precious sword was getting eaten by the pervert's tummy.

Wiping off his tearstained face (Tsuki: yeah, I've ditched Akina. She left me again for the pinery and took my vamp buddy with her, so I've kidnapped FufuLupin and she's now my coauthor.

Fufu: because I'm doing so much here. Feel free to write that down. I'll just watch you type all on your own.

Tsuki: hey, isn't this in the middle of a sentence? Oopsies, back to the story. Foo-Chee! I just like onomonopeas.) he ran his hands through his recently offended hair and straightened out his clothes.

Charging at Miroku, he poked his sides repeatedly. "Dance, Monkey!"

"I'm a Monk, not a Monkey!" Miroku wailed. The opening of his mouth caused the sword to be jettesoned from his esophogus (which is also the liver, see Meeting Place for details! ^.^). Sesshoumaru would have joyously run to pick up the long lost Tensigah, had it not been covered with Pervert Saliva.

"EWWW!" Sess exclaimed, looking around for a leaf or something to pick up his sword with.

"It's just spit," Miroku replied in confusion.

"Pervertitos may be contageous!" Sesshoumaru explained in an unintentionally high-pitched girly voice. "I don't want anything gross like that! I already have to disinfect my hair!"

And that was when Inuyasha and Little Stalker Buddy stumbled onto the scene, reuniting our happy twisted charecters, all except for Kikyo. But we don't really like her, so that's okay.

Tsuki: having ditched Akina, I am now proudly an independent author.

Fuf: hey… *looks heartbroken* I suffered through your butchered typing style, didn't I?

Tsuki: You only love me for my randomness, oh great beta God.

Fuf: never forget it.

Tsuki: sleepy. My funky japanese buns are gone, so I will sleep now. And maybe even review reply in the morning. Since we missed so many in our last talkitive chapter, I'll remember to record them this time. Sorry everyone a billion times!

Fuf: hey, look, it's midnight!

Tsuki: *is dead*

Fuf: …I can't reply when I'm the reviewer! Ack!