InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Cursed ❯ Day Two Hundred One ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter Thirteen - Day Two Hundred One

 

Sesshoumaru woke early the next morning, but not as early as his bed partner obviously had. When he opened his eyes and became aware of his surroundings, he knew she was gone. Sitting up, he hoped to see her at least within the confines of the hut, but was met with a sight as empty as his bed. Looking at the steaming cup of tea only a few feet away from him, he knew that she must at least be close by. His clothes were dry and folded neatly next to him, so he dressed himself and stood up, holding his tea. He smiled to himself as he noted the light apple amongst the other pleasant flavors his morning drink held for him today. He wondered, when he returned to his former self, would he still like the taste of apples as he did now. Though he couldn't be sure, he somehow believed that he would not. After all, he didn't like raw game in his human form and he could only guess that his tastes would go back to the way they had before. His brow furrowed. Did that mean he would no longer be fond of Takana? He pushed the thought aside; he had no desire to think about that now.

 

He started to think about the night before and quickly shooed those thoughts away as well, but for an entirely different reason. They were doing nothing to relieve the morning hardness he already suffered. No point in indulging in such thoughts if he didn't even know if he could indulge in the real thing again with her.

 

The sun seemed to have resumed its spring brightness after its short departure behind insidious clouds the day prior. Before heading outside to find Takana, he noticed that her cloak was missing, he was sure that she would not be without that particular garment until nearly half the summer spent itself.

 

As he stepped out of hut, he found that his first assumption had been correct. She was close by. In fact, she sat just outside the hut's entrance, looking off into the rising sun and the bright display it was putting on this morning. Takana looked up at him for only a brief moment, before nodding her acknowledgement of his presence and resuming her watch of the coming dawn. Sesshoumaru couldn't be sure, since she was already bathed in hues of pink and gold, but he was almost positive that a blush rose up on her quiet features.

 

Deciding that silence was often best, he decided to join her without invitation or small talk. He sat right next to her, their bodies only slightly touching, but touching none the less. They remained like that until the sun was well above the horizon, and no longer comfortable to gaze at directly, but still they didn't say a word.

 

Takana was a frenzy of emotions, and she silently thanked her companion for his silence as it allowed her to sort out her jumbled thoughts and feelings. Last night had been unexpected to say the least. She had not intended to get caught unawares and unprepared in that spring storm, which now showed no signs of ever having existed at all in the clear skies and warm sun. She also knew that Shin had not expected the drastic change in weather or its subsequent consequences either. He had saved her life. She had no illusions that she would be little more than a corpse this morning, and not the woman sitting against her hut with a now cool cup of tea sitting in her hands. However, upon saving her something else had happened. She quickly learned that his presence was no longer the platonic company of a doctor and his patient, but something else entirely. Something she had no idea how to handle. He had touched her in ways that no man ever had, despite her not being pure. He had been gentle and careful with her, and had even held back on his own desires for the sake of hers. Amazingly, what had happened was not something she regretted; in fact, she would always treasure the memories of what passed between them, no matter what the future brought, but it was the future and its uncertainties that caused the cacophony of emotions within her now.

 

Was last night just the desires of a naked man embracing a likewise naked woman? Was it something he would want again? A shiver ran down her spine at the last thought, and not the bad kind. If he did desire her again, would it just be to satisfy a lust, or did it run deeper? The part of that question that scared her was that she wasn't even sure if it mattered to her one way or another. She knew she desired him. She had been so hesitant the night before because she kept thinking that she might begin to think of him like she did the youkai that raped her. Much to her surprise and relief, she never did think of him that way the entire time, and Takana now knew she never would. He had been too gentle for her to imagine him in such a revolting way. Finally, the thought that worried her most of all at the moment, what if she decided to say to hell with it and make her desires for him known? Would her reject her? She wasn't sure if she could handle that. Rejection was too common an enemy in her life to not fear it.

 

Sesshoumaru's thoughts were not unlike hers, except his were conflicted with what he knew he felt now, and what he might feel when the year of this curse ended. He hated the thought that he would desire her now, only to be repulsed by her when youkai. That was not his main concern however, he was nearly sure that his thoughts on her would not change and if they did not, what would he then do when returned to his former self? It was not just that he would be youkai, but that he would be the Lord of the Western Lands. His father had died because of the human he took and his lands had been thrown into chaos and civil war after his death, and a young Sesshoumaru had only barely managed to hold them together. Did she mean enough to him to risk that, or anything for that matter? Besides the political ramifications of his desires for her, there were also her thoughts on the matter to be considered. She still believed him to be the only thing she could reasonably believe him to be, human. How would she react? If he continued this, how would he handle all of these issues? Would he be able to stop himself even if he determined it to be the best course of action for all involved? There was no denying the fact that he wanted her and more completely than he'd already taken her. It was not just his physical, sexual desire for her that he wanted either, it was just her, like she was now, sitting quietly by his side and offering some of the only real comfort he'd ever known in his life. Now that he knew what it was like to feel such a way, would he ever be able to go back to the way things were? He knew now that he didn't want to.

 

He suddenly realized that the opinion of human women he originally formed with his father's human had not changed in the least. They were a plague on youkai males. They made them weak, and they did it by showing them just how pleasant life truly could be when bathed in their presence. Once infected by them, it was something from which one could never truly recover. He would always want for it, need it and seek to keep it. Rin had been the start. She had never left his mind even in her death. He now knew that it was her spirit that he craved; the smiles, the devotion and the loyalty. He had been infected once but now his condition was hopeless. Takana was so much more, and no matter how he tried to deny it, he would want her always. By infecting him as she had, unconsciously as she did, she had now damned herself.

 

With clarity of thought he had never known, he realized that he would never let her go. She sat next to him and had no idea that she had just been claimed. He hadn't even been able to give her a choice, she was his, his to protect and his to need. He knew that he would do that until the end, whenever that may be.

 

“Takana.” He said her name as though it were the most beautiful word he'd ever heard, but it was underscored with the fear that his realization placed on him.

 

She turned to look at him, but was met with action. He leaned over and took her cheek in his hand, and then took her mouth. It was gentle and not demanding but it carried with it all his trepidation for the future. She was surprised at first but quickly let it melt away all of her concerns. She needed him even if it this would not be forever, it may only be the now but now was what she wanted, what she lived for.

 

Sesshoumaru began to pull her in deeper to him but the moment he felt her hesitation, he relented and ended the impromptu kiss with a tiny peck to her forehead. He may have not been able to give her the choice of who she would most assuredly be spending the rest of her life with but he would give her this choice. He would not touch her again as he did last night unless she asked him for it. It had nothing to do with pride or ego but on letting her have as much control of a situation that had already gotten so far out of either of their control.

 

Takana was surprised when he pulled away, but also very grateful. Though the kiss had not been unwanted, there were just too many stray emotions floating around in her head at the moment. She needed time and she was so glad that he recognized it. They both turned back to watch the morning sky and the start of an entirely new day.

 

 

entropy9 - Thank you very much. I'll keep working on that rating block, you give me reason to try. A sweet Sess tends to be unbelievable for me but that's one of the reasons it took me twelve chapters and two hundred days to get this far with these two.

Nikkie23534 - TTTTTHHHHHAAAAAANNNNKKKK YYYOOOUU!!! I'm happy you kept innocent ears innocent. Can't wait to see what you have.

White Luna - I'm trying to make her a tough character, so while the situation scared her, she's trying to not let bad times in her life take over her future. Or at least, that's what I was going for and it doesn't help that she does care for him too. Thanks for the review.

angelsfalltearfully - I'm amazed at how much I like to write smut. His sincerity is one of the reasons I wanted to do a human Sess because my last two pieces don't let him be a character you can sympathize with but a human one...at least I find it somewhat feasible. I'm so happy you really like it. That makes me all smiles.

AngelsRebellion - I can and I'm quite glad you can too.

Cochrann - *bows* Thank you very much!

SnowFlakeAlchemist - Yup, even someone as stubborn as him is capable of it. His emotions, or new found ones, actually start to play a very significant role in the rest of the story. Don't worry, I will.