InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Demons, Inc. ❯ Chapter 04: The Hills Are Alive ( Chapter 4 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Stars Came Out 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Comedy / Adventure | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 08.01.2005 | Updated On: 05.24.2009 | Pages: 6 | Words: 5.3K | Visits: 411 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Action / Comedy / Adventure | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 08.01.2005 | Updated On: 05.24.2009 | Pages: 6 | Words: 5.3K | Visits: 411 | Status: Completed
DEMONS, INC.
Chapter 04: The Hills Are Alive
-------------------------------------
"AHHH! MY FUCKING MOUTH!" Inuyasha screamed from the bathroom. His voice reverberated throughout the entire cabin, and even out into the woods, where it scared off some of the little woodland critters. Meanwhile, Kagome and Shippou were safely stowed beneath the patchy chair in the living room, where they had been hiding since Inuyasha announced his claim on the bathroom.
"Maybe this wasn't a good idea," Shippou whispered nervously over Inuyasha's howls of pain.
"Are you kidding?" Kagome hissed back. "I've been waiting all day for this moment!"
Shippou looked at her dubiously as the bathroom door flew open with a powerful BAM! and Inuyasha stormed out, hunched over and looking angry, mouth dripping with foamy toothpaste. His fangs gleamed dangerously among the puffs of cloudy paste. Shippou bit back a whimper.
"That's it! Where the hell are you two?! Get the fuck out here!"
"Inuyasha?" Miroku said uneasily as he came out of the kitchen. "My word, you're rabid!"
"I am not fucking RABID!" Inuyasha growled. "Those two fucking retards---"
"It's rude to call people retards, Inuyasha," Miroku chided.
"I don't fucking care! Those two retards put tabasco sauce on my TOOTHBRUSH!"
"It's not tabasco sauce," Kagome whispered to Shippou. "It's Fyro Diablo, the only hot sauce with 1,500,000 SHUs."
"I know," Shippou agreed.
"Go rinse your mouth out," Sango ordered as she came out of her bedroom, looking agitated as Inuyasha's foam dripped onto the floor. Inuyasha roared once more and then retreated to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. The water turned on and the sounds of Inuyasha gurgling and gagging melodramatically could be heard. Sango went back to the bedroom, rolling her eyes, and Miroku returned to the kitchen. Kagome and Shippou stayed safely under the chair.
"We're dead meat," Shippou whimpered.
"Shush," Kagome said and then ordered, "Follow me."
Kagome crawled out from underneath the chair with Shippou close behind her. They crept into the kitchen, where Miroku was 'reading' a naughty magazine, which surprised neither of them. He looked fairly absorbed in what he was doing, so Kagome and Shippou continued on. Kagome stopped at the refrigerator and quietly opened the door. From inside, she pulled out a bottle of whipped cream and a can of tube cheese, which Sango had bought from the grocery store earlier that day at Inuyasha's insistence. Then they left the kitchen and retreated to the relative safety underneath the chair, where Kagome pulled off Shippou's socks, despite his quiet protesting. She stuffed the whipped cream in one and tucked it into his jeans' belt loop. Then she stuffed the tube cheese in the other and fastened it to her own belt loop.
"We are now armed and dangerous," Kagome whispered. "Now the time has come, my friend."
The two stealthily slid out the front door. Kagome peeked around both ways before darting into the surrounding wood, Shippou close behind her. In the cabin, they could hear Inuyasha resume his thumping around the house, looking for the pair of trouble-makers.
"We'll have to stake out in the woods until he calms down some," Kagome explained quietly. "When he cools off, we'll move on to phase two."
"If you say so, Kagome," Shippou agreed wearily. Now he knew why people got tired of playing with him so quickly---doing such things required so much energy, and Kagome's energy was intense! Like a man in his midlife crisis pursuing a sports car, Kagome was unstoppable.
Shippou trotted after Kagome as she pulled branches into a box-shape around the rise of a gully. He helped her for awhile, and then followed her example by dragging fallen leaves inside when she completed a shaky roof.
"Here's Fort Alonso," Kagome announced proudly, crawling into the ditch. "We wait here."
Shippou sighed and followed.
In the morning, it so happened that they awoke to the sound of snarling and a rusty, dripping sound. Shippou was the first to rise.
After he remembered where he was, Shippou peeked out of the fort to find the source of the odd noises. Just outside Fort Alonso was a demonic wild cat, teeth gleaming in the early morning sunlight as it nosed around the sticks comprising the wall of the fort.
"AHHHH!" Shippou screamed. "KAGOME!"
"Wha-I'm-trying-to-shleep-go-eat-my-polka-dot-shorts," Kagome mumbled in one breath, burying her face into a patch of crinkled leaves and snorting once.
"KAGOME! We're going to die!" Shippou notified.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome hissed and snapped upward, assuming that they had been caught. She bumped her head on the ceiling of Fort Alonso, causing the entire conglomeration of stick and leaf to come crashing down on her and her companion. Meanwhile, their pursuer growled happily and bounced at the fallen sticks, flicking its tail playfully.
"AHH!" Shippou repeated. Kagome joined him.
"Let's get out of here!" Kagome yelled. She threw a stick into the trees, which caught the cat's attention momentarily, and then she darted off toward the cabin with Shippou in her arms. The cat, angered, pounced and trotted after them, all the while with a scratchy growl in its throat. Kagome whimpered. "Oh man oh man oh man!"
"KA-GO-MAYYY!" Shippou howled as he peeked over her shoulder. "It's getting closer!"
Kagome tripped just as the cat took a flying leap at them, and it sailed clean over where Kagome had fallen. Shippou and Kagome chorused a scream and resumed running as the cat got on the rebound.
"Where's a conch shell when you need one?!" Kagome yelped, imagining calling a militia to her aid with the ancient shell.
"Where's Inuyasha when you need him?!" Shippou corrected. "We're going to die, Kagome!"
"Curse Fort Alonso!" Kagome screeched and veered off the path. "Shippou, get into that tree!"
Shippou did as ordered, springing from Kagome's shoulder into the tree branches. As Kagome had planned, the cat continued to follow her, only sending a small glance toward the fox boy shivering in the branches. She was both bigger and more accessible.
The cat cornered Kagome off, forcing her to run in another direction.
Kagome reached down into her sock holster and pulled out the tube cheese that she had put there. In an all-or-nothing moment of heated heroics, she gave a ferocious war cry and squirted the cat in the eyes. It roared, backing up and spinning as it tried to get the runny cheese out of its eyes. Kagome took her chance and darted toward the cabin, Shippou jumping down to land in her arms again.
The cat yowled, now done playing, and sprung after them just as they managed to reach the cabin. They tore open the door and flew inside, collapsing into the chairs around the television and panting.
Outside, the gray morning began to turn pink with sun, and the cat crackled and hissed at the door.
Shippou started to cry.
"What's wrong, Shippou?" Kagome panted, coughing a little.
"We nearly died!" he wailed melodramatically.
"We're fine," Kagome insisted, suddenly feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Shippou."
"It's Inuyasha's fault!" he screamed.
"WHAT is my fault?!" Inuyasha demanded groggily as he came out of his bedroom.
"I want to go to Brickbreaker and rent video games!" Shippou wailed.
"What the fuck is your problem?! The sun ain't even up yet! Why the hell are you awake?"
"It happened like this!" Shippou crowed. "We were staying in Fort Alonso when we were attacked by a demon! It's still outside!" Shippou finished on a whimper.
"Why the fuck did you two stay outside?!"
"Because," Kagome said, folding her arms over her chest and sticking her chin in the air, "we felt like it." She wasn't about to remind him of the toothpaste incident last night.
The cat rumbled at the door. Inuyasha threw open the door and let loose a mighty war cry, and the beast tromped away, hissing in anger and fear. Inuyasha slammed the door again and turned to Kagome and Shippou, who were now clinging to each other pitifully.
"Wimps."
"Can we go to Brickbreaker now?" Shippou whined. "I'm bored."
She met Shippou inside of the rental facility as Sango went off to look at the movies of her tastes---sappy romances and brutal action-adventure movies.
"Shippou," Kagome whispered as she ducked into an aisle of foreign films. "Psst."
"Kagome!" Shippou hissed happily and crouched down next to her. "Let's pick out a movie."
"Aye, aye!" Kagome agreed. They crawled amongst the aisles, gathering attention from all loiterers, until they came to the Popular Hits section. While waiting there, Kagome suddenly noticed a set of stairs. She poked Shippou's shoulder and pointed. "What's up there?" she asked.
"Ohhh..." Shippou whispered. "Secret stairway! Let's go!"
"Just what I was thinking!" Kagome said, and then began to slink off toward the shadily lit stairway. Creeping stealthily, Kagome and Shippou made it up the flight of stairs without incident. The overhead light, dim and half-out, buzzed and flickered. Metallic shelf upon metallic shelf gleamed dully.
"Wow..." Shippou murmured in awe. "We've entered Wonderland!"
Kagome sprung up from the ground and went forth into one of the aisles.
"No we haven't," Kagome said, horrified as she dropped the DVD she had pulled out from the shelf. "This aisle is filled with porn!"
A man behind a desk, who hadn't noticed them before, looked up suddenly at the sound of Kagome's noise. Shippou was running around in a crazy circle, hyperventilating.
"Hey," the man barked. "Kids aren't allowed up here."
"I'm not a kid," Kagome said with dignity. "I am an adult."
"Well, that one is a kid. I doubt there's anything you'd like up here anyway, so go back downstairs where you belong."
"Fine!" Kagome agreed. "This place isn't any fun, anyhow."
Kagome walked down the stairs elegantly, like a princess, and Shippou bounced onto her shoulder to follow.
"Alright," Kagome told Shippou. "We'd better not have an adventure here. Go pick out a movie, Sango's looking agitated. I'm going to go hide in the car."
"'Kay," Shippou agreed and scampered off to where Sango was in the Action-Adventure aisle. Kagome went back to the car and wiggled into the trunk in order to wait for the demons. Before long, Sango and Shippou exited the building and piled into the car and took off for the cabin again, which was a good half an hour away. Once back, Sango left Shippou to his own devices and disappeared. She was a very solitary demon, and Kagome was glad.
Kagome crawled out of the trunk and followed Shippou into the cabin. A war ensued.
"It is OUR turn with the television," Shippou told Inuyasha poutily.
"No," Inuyasha insisted. "I'm watching a game."
"You've had it all fucking day long!" Shippou pointed out.
"Don't you fucking use that kind of language, nitwit!" Inuyasha told Shippou seriously.
"You say it all the time!" Shippou argued. Kagome was sitting this one out, looking on with interest.
"I'm a fucking adult, retard!" Inuyasha snapped.
"SO-FUCKING-WHAT?!" Shippou yelled at the top of his lungs. Miroku popped into the living room and stared at Shippou with an appalled look on his face.
"Shippou, if you keep talking like that, we'll have to wash your mouth out with soap."
"So what!" Shippou yelled. "I bet you two don't even own a bar of soap!"
"Hey! Are you insulting our personal hygiene?!" Inuyasha yelped.
"As a matter of fact, I am!" Shippou confirmed.
"I want a puppy," added Kagome.
It was time for phase two.
"Come in, Agent Foxfire!" Kagome whispered into her hair brush, sounding quite serious enough to make it impressive, like there was actually a sound device in the normal hair care product.
"What am I supposed to say again?" Shippou asked into his hair brush quietly, standing next to Kagome.
"Nevermind. The stealth of this mission has been shot," Kagome notified, looking into the window of the cabin and shoving her hair brush into her sock holster, next to the tube cheese.
After an evening of pestering for the television to no avail, Shippou and Kagome set to work. It was tough work that required copious amounts of stealth, care, and wit. The two partners took up their arms of whipped cream and Cheezfizz, utilized hair brush walkie talkies, and stepped through an available patch of mud to disguise their scents and cover the palest parts of their skin.
They were ready for anything. Armageddon would have turned its back and fled at the sight of them.
"Subject A coming into view," Kagome hummed quietly, narrowing her eyes as Inuyasha stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room with a scowl on his face. He turned once, spoke something to Sango who was in the kitchen reading, and then went back into the living room. Shippou and Kagome swooped into a crouch as he padded by them, plopping down in front of the television. "Alright, Agent," Kagome whispered. "You take watch, I'll set the plan into motion. Wait for my signal in case I get caught, will you?"
"Aye, aye," Shippou said and nodded once in affirmation. Kagome saluted him, and took off at a stooped jog around the edge of the house. The crickets chirped lazily in the early night, the trees whimpered and whistled against each other in the comfortable breeze, and the sound of distant water could be heard. A perfect night for secret agent business.
Kagome paused at the side of the house, listening for anything. Then she turned to the cabin.
The cabin was built on a slope, so that as one went around the single-story building the roof nearly touched the ground. If one was nimble, one could easily leap up there.
That was Kagome's destination.
With care, she sprung, catlike, onto the roof and crawled to the skylight. Carefully, she wiggled it open to its propped position and peeked down into the bedroom. Miroku was sleeping on one of the two Twin-size beds, and the sounds of the television were distant. Kagome withdrew her face and peeked over the other side of the roof, smiling down to Shippou, who waved her on.
Kagome patted the tube cheese in her sock holster and then wedged herself into the cracked window to her stomach. She bent her body and curved down into the room, and all was well until she got stuck.
Thunk-thunk. Nope, her torso was just barely too wide to fit through. And now she was stuck.
"Ahh...ah, Shippou!" she called in a fierce whisper. "Help!"
Shippou misinterpreted the message and began causing a ruckus, which was what he was supposed to do if Kagome got caught. He burst through the front door of the cabin.
"THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE NOISE OF MUSIC!" Shippou wailed melodramatically and very off key. In the living room, Inuyasha stared at him with an expressionless face.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he grunted. "Hills aren't alive, you dumb ass."
"Come look at my sand castle!" Shippou demanded, jumping in circles and going into the kitchen, trying to get Sango's attention.
Meanwhile, Kagome was trying to scramble out of the window. She stayed stuck, which was not only unfortunate, but very bad.
"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" she cried. "DEATH BY WINDOW!"
Below her frantically kicking legs, Miroku somehow slept soundly. Shippou could be heard singing about daffodils in spring and a bicycle built for five-legged creatures in the other room.
Finally, after squirming for a length of time, Kagome managed to pull herself out the skylight. She panted for a moment and then straightened herself out. She smoothed down her hair and adjusted her tee-shirt (which was starting to get incredibly smelly and dirty). Clearing her throat, she said to herself, "Let's skip phase two dash two for now."
She paused, looking off in the trees surrounding the cabin. They were shivering strangely, like an ocean wave was running through them. Every so often, a strange thump like a chair falling over could be heard. She leapt down from the roof and carefully went around into the trees. Tentatively, she crawled up into one of the trees and looked on. The strange shockwave ran through the trees again and shook her. She clung to the pine branch for her life.
The rustling stopped. Everything was still and unnaturally quiet. Kagome, nestled against a bedding of pine needles, felt like an intruder.
And then the wave went again, stronger than ever, and sent Kagome flying out of the tree. She screamed and ran back to the cabin. She flew in through the door. Shippou was running in circles around the room banging two pot lids together, Sango was waving a paperback in the air and threatening to smack him with it, and Inuyasha was howling for everyone to shut up. Miroku was still not awake.
Outside, she heard the trees rustle in a powerful wave again. She slammed the door shut, grabbed Shippou while screaming, and flung herself and Shippou underneath Inuyasha's chair. The pot lids clattered to the floor and Shippou looked dazed.
"It's those monsters again!" Kagome whimpered to herself.
"There aren't any monsters," Inuyasha moaned, looking warily down at the chair's feet. "What the fuck are you two doing now?"
"I was attacked!" Kagome insisted in a harsh hiss. Inuyasha thumped to the ground with a heavy sigh and peeked under the chair, feeling as if he was coaxing out a frightened puppy. Sango, meanwhile, rolled her eyes and went back to the kitchen.
"Attacked by what?" he asked with boredom and no concern.
"I-I don't know!" Kagome said, hugging the still Shippou tighter to her. "I was up in a tree over there---" she said, pointing wildly, "watching! The trees kept shaking and stuff kept thumping, but not from the wind. It really gave me the heebie jeebies, but I stayed and watched! And then my tree did it, too! It's monsters, I tell you!"
"You two are insane," Inuyasha notified. "Now get the hell out from underneath my damn chair and do something normal demons do."
"I'm staying right here until those monsters are gone."
"Saaango!" Inuyasha called.
"What now?!"
"Will you come tell these fucking morons there's no such thing as monsters!"
Sango stormed out of the kitchen. Miroku finally came out of the bedroom, blinking sleepily. Sango whacked Inuyasha on the back of the head, whacked Miroku on the back of the head, and then dropped down to the floor next to Inuyasha, peering underneath the chair.
"What are you two doing under there?"
"I was attacked! There're monsters!"
"Kagome, there's no such thing as monsters," Sango consoled.
"Then it was a ghost!" Kagome crowed, curling around Shippou even tighter.
"Can't...breathe..." Shippou whimpered.
"Sorry, Shippou," Kagome said with a sheepish grin, releasing the small fox demon and giving him a fond pat on the head.
"Just come out from under there!" Inuyasha growled at the pair.
The lights flickered and went out, along with the television.
Shippou whimpered and climbed back into Kagome's arms.
"Oopsie..." Kagome murmured.
"...'Oopsie?'" Sango repeated.
"I...uh...I set up the lights to do that..." Kagome said, chewing on her lip nervously.
"Why the fuck did you do that?!"
"No reason, exactly..." Kagome lied. Inuyasha howled and Sango loosed a heavy sigh. Miroku plopped down on the floor and exhaled.
"And when are they going back on?"
"We have to turn 'em on manually," Kagome explained. A small bubble of pride went up to her heart. Her trap had worked marvelously and now she had three demons' very rapt attention. "The trap I set only works one way."
"So go turn 'em back on!" Inuyasha barked.
"Are you crazy?! No way will I go back outside!"
"Get out there and turn the fucking lights on before I wring your scrawny neck!"
"Eep!" Kagome shot out from underneath the chair and dashed for the doorway. She fished around in her holster and pulled out the tube cheese, nervously licking her lips as she closed the front door behind herself. Her breath came raggedly as she listened for any strange noises from the forest. When she heard nothing, she tip-toed around the side of the house and went into a slightly adjoining shed. She left the door open, so that the weak moonlight pouring in gave enough light to make out the switches. On the floor was an intricate mess of string (she had gotten it by unraveling one of Inuyasha's shirts), squares of magazine paper (compliments of Miroku's naughty reading habits), acorns, a kitchen timer, several branches, and packaging tape. The remnants of her ingenious plan.
She stuffed her tube cheese away and turned on the switches in the control panel. She was rewarded with a gentle humming. She pulled off the remaining bits of string and gathered the supplies she had used in her plan, which she stuffed into the stretched-out sock holster. She exited the building carefully, comforted by the light streaming out of the windows.
Her comfort was short-lived as she was thrown backwards, barely missing the power switches, against the wall by a growling woman.
"Who the fuck are you?!" the woman demanded, seething and spitting and looking quite lethal. Kagome saw everything in double-vision as her head rung painfully.
"No one!" Kagome squeaked. It obviously wasn't the correct answer.
The woman growled lower and deeper, tightening her grip around Kagome's neck. "You dirty, sneaking bitch..." the woman said in a low voice.
"I didn't do anything!" Kagome panicked, picking at the woman's strong, bony fingers.
The woman snorted.
"What's going on in here?" a masculine voice asked with concern.
"Look at this," the woman ordered. The man came over and stuck his tongue out in mild disgust at the writhing, weakling girl his female companion was holding.
Kagome's hands dropped from her neck. Suddenly remembering her protective precautions, Kagome plunged a hand into her sock-holster and pulled out the bottle of tube cheese. She sprayed the woman's face, which caused her to loosen her grip and yip. Kagome sprinted out of the shed, followed by the two lunatic demons, as she hurtled herself back into the cabin and directly back underneath Inuyasha's chair.
"Wondering...where...you... went..." Inuyasha distractedly told her as he noticed the two demons standing in the door way---one wiping soft, yellow, clumping cheese away from her face and the other snarling.
"Ayame? Kouga?" Sango questioned. "I thought you two weren't getting here until day after tomorrow?"
"They attacked me!" Kagome squeaked from underneath the chair. Shippou had rejoined her, clinging to her and his tail shivering.
"Is that the human?" Ayame asked, pointing underneath the chair.
"Unfortunately..." Inuyasha murmured.
"What happened?" Miroku voiced.
"We had to come early," Kouga said. "Hey, come out from under there!" he added, directing the order at Kagome.
"Leave her the fuck alone," Inuyasha snarled. "She can stay under there if she wants to. Why did you have to come early?"
"Are they going to kill me or not?" Kagome asked from under the chair, sounding rather miffed and annoyed.
"No, they're harmless weaklings," Inuyasha explained. Kouga held up a fist while Ayame scolded Inuyasha. Kagome sighed heavily and crawled out from under her chair.
"You know," she said importantly, "your woods are haunted. The trees move on their own."
Kouga and Ayame began to laugh loudly.
"Are you talking about just now?" Ayame asked, rubbing the remaining cheese out of her eyes.
"Yes," Kagome said suspiciously, narrowing her eyes.
"That was us," Kouga said, "we move in whirlwinds."
"Enough of this!" Sango interrupted. "Let's do this the right way. Kagome, Ayame and Kouga. Ayame and Kouga, Kagome."
"I'll make sandwiches and coffee," Miroku offered and went into the kitchen. Inuyasha was broodingly watching the television again. Shippou was retrieving his pot lids and putting them away with resignation (he really enjoyed his Noise of Music performance). Sango sat down on the armrest furthest from Miroku and watched. Kagome dusted herself off with dignity and leaned against Inuyasha's chair, legs thrown out in front of her.
"Well," Kouga said. "How are you, Sango?"
"I'm just lovely," Sango said politely. "And how are you two?"
"We're doing wonderfully," Ayame told her.
"Enough with this bull shit," Inuyasha grumbled. "Why the fuck are you here early?"
"Tell you later," Ayame promised, nervously glancing at Kagome, who was fingering her tube cheese bottle with a serious, thoughtful expression. Shippou bounded back into the room and took a seat on Kagome's shoulder. She whispered something in his ear. They nodded to each other and then pretended to watch television.
"Scram," Inuyasha told them. "You two, go get lost."
"No," Shippou disagreed.
"We're watching television."
"Can we watch our movie now?" Shippou whined.
"Only if you get lost for awhile," Inuyasha reasoned. The two nodded and sprinted off for the bedroom. They closed the door behind them loudly, and then quietly teased it back open. In the living room, Miroku was called back in.
"We have some bad news," Kouga said to the group.
"Here," Ayame said, pulling out a video tape from her handbag. She put it into the VCR and set to tuning it, which took awhile.
Meanwhile, Kagome had Shippou stand guard while she padded into the bathroom. With a quiet chuckle, she stole all the tubes of toothpaste. Looking around for an appropriate hiding place, she decided to stuff them inside of Inuyasha's pillow case. His hair needed some minty freshness.
Kagome went back to Shippou, dusting her hands off proudly. In the other room, the television was finally cooperating with Ayame, which was a blessing in itself. Everyone knows televisions are temperamental and only show the programs they personally like.
A fuzzy newscast came on, although Kagome and Shippou could only hear the static. "They've been displaying this all over," Ayame warned.
Inuyasha squinted at it. A photograph of a woman with black hair and dark eyes came on the screen. "It's Ka-Kagome!" he hissed.
"In other news, there has been word of a human's escape into the demon world. If you see this human, call the number below. Please remember that humans are dangerous creatures and you should not approach it directly. Call authorities immediately. The following rewards are being offered for your assistance."
"Oh, fuck," Inuyasha said and slumped into his chair.
"They know Kagome's here..." Miroku mumbled. "We're going to be executed."
In the bedroom, Shippou and Kagome exchanged glances.
"Darn," Kagome whispered. "I guess this means my evil scheme must be post-poned."
Lake of Fire, yep, Kagome is totally OOC, while the rest of the characters are extremely overdone version of their stereotypical fanfic selves. Unfortunately, this is the only way I can do humor. :P I'm glad you approve!
valene, thanks so much! Like I said, this is the only way I can do humor! Oh yes, about Inuyasha's Ka-Kagome...well, this is from an earlier chapter---"Inuyasha just wouldn't get her name right, even after she had corrected him several times. He always insisted on putting the extra Ka in front. She was not sure if he was mocking her or if he was just stupid."
Sailor-Helios, your comments really mean a lot to me. They give me a lot of inspiration, and it really makes me so happy that you're asking questions, even if I can't answer them for risk of spoiler ;D. And yes! There will be a plot. Probably a generic, stereotypical one, but it'll be there!
Moonglow gal, sorry hah. My sense of humor overtakes me. :3
kikyo_must_die, haha, yep, life would be a blast if it could always be this way! A lot of these scenes are taken from my daily life...just not the exciting ones. Thanks a whole lot!
inu-ears, you'll just have to wait and see! -wink, wink-
Angel_4_life, thank you tremendously! You have no idea how much your comments mean to me!
To everyone else I did not answer, I'm terribly sorry. All your reviews are cherished, adored, and loved! Thanks everyone, so much!
Chapter 04: The Hills Are Alive
-------------------------------------
"AHHH! MY FUCKING MOUTH!" Inuyasha screamed from the bathroom. His voice reverberated throughout the entire cabin, and even out into the woods, where it scared off some of the little woodland critters. Meanwhile, Kagome and Shippou were safely stowed beneath the patchy chair in the living room, where they had been hiding since Inuyasha announced his claim on the bathroom.
"Maybe this wasn't a good idea," Shippou whispered nervously over Inuyasha's howls of pain.
"Are you kidding?" Kagome hissed back. "I've been waiting all day for this moment!"
Shippou looked at her dubiously as the bathroom door flew open with a powerful BAM! and Inuyasha stormed out, hunched over and looking angry, mouth dripping with foamy toothpaste. His fangs gleamed dangerously among the puffs of cloudy paste. Shippou bit back a whimper.
"That's it! Where the hell are you two?! Get the fuck out here!"
"Inuyasha?" Miroku said uneasily as he came out of the kitchen. "My word, you're rabid!"
"I am not fucking RABID!" Inuyasha growled. "Those two fucking retards---"
"It's rude to call people retards, Inuyasha," Miroku chided.
"I don't fucking care! Those two retards put tabasco sauce on my TOOTHBRUSH!"
"It's not tabasco sauce," Kagome whispered to Shippou. "It's Fyro Diablo, the only hot sauce with 1,500,000 SHUs."
"I know," Shippou agreed.
"Go rinse your mouth out," Sango ordered as she came out of her bedroom, looking agitated as Inuyasha's foam dripped onto the floor. Inuyasha roared once more and then retreated to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. The water turned on and the sounds of Inuyasha gurgling and gagging melodramatically could be heard. Sango went back to the bedroom, rolling her eyes, and Miroku returned to the kitchen. Kagome and Shippou stayed safely under the chair.
"We're dead meat," Shippou whimpered.
"Shush," Kagome said and then ordered, "Follow me."
Kagome crawled out from underneath the chair with Shippou close behind her. They crept into the kitchen, where Miroku was 'reading' a naughty magazine, which surprised neither of them. He looked fairly absorbed in what he was doing, so Kagome and Shippou continued on. Kagome stopped at the refrigerator and quietly opened the door. From inside, she pulled out a bottle of whipped cream and a can of tube cheese, which Sango had bought from the grocery store earlier that day at Inuyasha's insistence. Then they left the kitchen and retreated to the relative safety underneath the chair, where Kagome pulled off Shippou's socks, despite his quiet protesting. She stuffed the whipped cream in one and tucked it into his jeans' belt loop. Then she stuffed the tube cheese in the other and fastened it to her own belt loop.
"We are now armed and dangerous," Kagome whispered. "Now the time has come, my friend."
The two stealthily slid out the front door. Kagome peeked around both ways before darting into the surrounding wood, Shippou close behind her. In the cabin, they could hear Inuyasha resume his thumping around the house, looking for the pair of trouble-makers.
"We'll have to stake out in the woods until he calms down some," Kagome explained quietly. "When he cools off, we'll move on to phase two."
"If you say so, Kagome," Shippou agreed wearily. Now he knew why people got tired of playing with him so quickly---doing such things required so much energy, and Kagome's energy was intense! Like a man in his midlife crisis pursuing a sports car, Kagome was unstoppable.
Shippou trotted after Kagome as she pulled branches into a box-shape around the rise of a gully. He helped her for awhile, and then followed her example by dragging fallen leaves inside when she completed a shaky roof.
"Here's Fort Alonso," Kagome announced proudly, crawling into the ditch. "We wait here."
Shippou sighed and followed.
* * *
Shippou and Kagome, unfortunately, were forced to stay the entire night at Fort Alonso, because they fell asleep long before Inuyasha was done being angry (he was very sensitive to hot foods, but neither Kagome nor Shippou had known as such---if so, they might have saved it to be phase three rather than phase one).In the morning, it so happened that they awoke to the sound of snarling and a rusty, dripping sound. Shippou was the first to rise.
After he remembered where he was, Shippou peeked out of the fort to find the source of the odd noises. Just outside Fort Alonso was a demonic wild cat, teeth gleaming in the early morning sunlight as it nosed around the sticks comprising the wall of the fort.
"AHHHH!" Shippou screamed. "KAGOME!"
"Wha-I'm-trying-to-shleep-go-eat-my-polka-dot-shorts," Kagome mumbled in one breath, burying her face into a patch of crinkled leaves and snorting once.
"KAGOME! We're going to die!" Shippou notified.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome hissed and snapped upward, assuming that they had been caught. She bumped her head on the ceiling of Fort Alonso, causing the entire conglomeration of stick and leaf to come crashing down on her and her companion. Meanwhile, their pursuer growled happily and bounced at the fallen sticks, flicking its tail playfully.
"AHH!" Shippou repeated. Kagome joined him.
"Let's get out of here!" Kagome yelled. She threw a stick into the trees, which caught the cat's attention momentarily, and then she darted off toward the cabin with Shippou in her arms. The cat, angered, pounced and trotted after them, all the while with a scratchy growl in its throat. Kagome whimpered. "Oh man oh man oh man!"
"KA-GO-MAYYY!" Shippou howled as he peeked over her shoulder. "It's getting closer!"
Kagome tripped just as the cat took a flying leap at them, and it sailed clean over where Kagome had fallen. Shippou and Kagome chorused a scream and resumed running as the cat got on the rebound.
"Where's a conch shell when you need one?!" Kagome yelped, imagining calling a militia to her aid with the ancient shell.
"Where's Inuyasha when you need him?!" Shippou corrected. "We're going to die, Kagome!"
"Curse Fort Alonso!" Kagome screeched and veered off the path. "Shippou, get into that tree!"
Shippou did as ordered, springing from Kagome's shoulder into the tree branches. As Kagome had planned, the cat continued to follow her, only sending a small glance toward the fox boy shivering in the branches. She was both bigger and more accessible.
The cat cornered Kagome off, forcing her to run in another direction.
Kagome reached down into her sock holster and pulled out the tube cheese that she had put there. In an all-or-nothing moment of heated heroics, she gave a ferocious war cry and squirted the cat in the eyes. It roared, backing up and spinning as it tried to get the runny cheese out of its eyes. Kagome took her chance and darted toward the cabin, Shippou jumping down to land in her arms again.
The cat yowled, now done playing, and sprung after them just as they managed to reach the cabin. They tore open the door and flew inside, collapsing into the chairs around the television and panting.
Outside, the gray morning began to turn pink with sun, and the cat crackled and hissed at the door.
Shippou started to cry.
"What's wrong, Shippou?" Kagome panted, coughing a little.
"We nearly died!" he wailed melodramatically.
"We're fine," Kagome insisted, suddenly feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Shippou."
"It's Inuyasha's fault!" he screamed.
"WHAT is my fault?!" Inuyasha demanded groggily as he came out of his bedroom.
"I want to go to Brickbreaker and rent video games!" Shippou wailed.
"What the fuck is your problem?! The sun ain't even up yet! Why the hell are you awake?"
"It happened like this!" Shippou crowed. "We were staying in Fort Alonso when we were attacked by a demon! It's still outside!" Shippou finished on a whimper.
"Why the fuck did you two stay outside?!"
"Because," Kagome said, folding her arms over her chest and sticking her chin in the air, "we felt like it." She wasn't about to remind him of the toothpaste incident last night.
The cat rumbled at the door. Inuyasha threw open the door and let loose a mighty war cry, and the beast tromped away, hissing in anger and fear. Inuyasha slammed the door again and turned to Kagome and Shippou, who were now clinging to each other pitifully.
"Wimps."
"Can we go to Brickbreaker now?" Shippou whined. "I'm bored."
* * *
Shippou did indeed get permission to go to Brickbreaker, but Kagome was supposedly forced to wait behind because of her "human stench." Luckily, she had already decided Inuyasha would try to keep her behind, and hid in the trunk of Sango's rental car, dressed in her stolen, demon-smelling clothes.She met Shippou inside of the rental facility as Sango went off to look at the movies of her tastes---sappy romances and brutal action-adventure movies.
"Shippou," Kagome whispered as she ducked into an aisle of foreign films. "Psst."
"Kagome!" Shippou hissed happily and crouched down next to her. "Let's pick out a movie."
"Aye, aye!" Kagome agreed. They crawled amongst the aisles, gathering attention from all loiterers, until they came to the Popular Hits section. While waiting there, Kagome suddenly noticed a set of stairs. She poked Shippou's shoulder and pointed. "What's up there?" she asked.
"Ohhh..." Shippou whispered. "Secret stairway! Let's go!"
"Just what I was thinking!" Kagome said, and then began to slink off toward the shadily lit stairway. Creeping stealthily, Kagome and Shippou made it up the flight of stairs without incident. The overhead light, dim and half-out, buzzed and flickered. Metallic shelf upon metallic shelf gleamed dully.
"Wow..." Shippou murmured in awe. "We've entered Wonderland!"
Kagome sprung up from the ground and went forth into one of the aisles.
"No we haven't," Kagome said, horrified as she dropped the DVD she had pulled out from the shelf. "This aisle is filled with porn!"
A man behind a desk, who hadn't noticed them before, looked up suddenly at the sound of Kagome's noise. Shippou was running around in a crazy circle, hyperventilating.
"Hey," the man barked. "Kids aren't allowed up here."
"I'm not a kid," Kagome said with dignity. "I am an adult."
"Well, that one is a kid. I doubt there's anything you'd like up here anyway, so go back downstairs where you belong."
"Fine!" Kagome agreed. "This place isn't any fun, anyhow."
Kagome walked down the stairs elegantly, like a princess, and Shippou bounced onto her shoulder to follow.
"Alright," Kagome told Shippou. "We'd better not have an adventure here. Go pick out a movie, Sango's looking agitated. I'm going to go hide in the car."
"'Kay," Shippou agreed and scampered off to where Sango was in the Action-Adventure aisle. Kagome went back to the car and wiggled into the trunk in order to wait for the demons. Before long, Sango and Shippou exited the building and piled into the car and took off for the cabin again, which was a good half an hour away. Once back, Sango left Shippou to his own devices and disappeared. She was a very solitary demon, and Kagome was glad.
Kagome crawled out of the trunk and followed Shippou into the cabin. A war ensued.
"It is OUR turn with the television," Shippou told Inuyasha poutily.
"No," Inuyasha insisted. "I'm watching a game."
"You've had it all fucking day long!" Shippou pointed out.
"Don't you fucking use that kind of language, nitwit!" Inuyasha told Shippou seriously.
"You say it all the time!" Shippou argued. Kagome was sitting this one out, looking on with interest.
"I'm a fucking adult, retard!" Inuyasha snapped.
"SO-FUCKING-WHAT?!" Shippou yelled at the top of his lungs. Miroku popped into the living room and stared at Shippou with an appalled look on his face.
"Shippou, if you keep talking like that, we'll have to wash your mouth out with soap."
"So what!" Shippou yelled. "I bet you two don't even own a bar of soap!"
"Hey! Are you insulting our personal hygiene?!" Inuyasha yelped.
"As a matter of fact, I am!" Shippou confirmed.
"I want a puppy," added Kagome.
* * *
Kagome and Shippou had decided to take drastic measures, since Inuyasha was being relentless about the television.It was time for phase two.
"Come in, Agent Foxfire!" Kagome whispered into her hair brush, sounding quite serious enough to make it impressive, like there was actually a sound device in the normal hair care product.
"What am I supposed to say again?" Shippou asked into his hair brush quietly, standing next to Kagome.
"Nevermind. The stealth of this mission has been shot," Kagome notified, looking into the window of the cabin and shoving her hair brush into her sock holster, next to the tube cheese.
After an evening of pestering for the television to no avail, Shippou and Kagome set to work. It was tough work that required copious amounts of stealth, care, and wit. The two partners took up their arms of whipped cream and Cheezfizz, utilized hair brush walkie talkies, and stepped through an available patch of mud to disguise their scents and cover the palest parts of their skin.
They were ready for anything. Armageddon would have turned its back and fled at the sight of them.
"Subject A coming into view," Kagome hummed quietly, narrowing her eyes as Inuyasha stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room with a scowl on his face. He turned once, spoke something to Sango who was in the kitchen reading, and then went back into the living room. Shippou and Kagome swooped into a crouch as he padded by them, plopping down in front of the television. "Alright, Agent," Kagome whispered. "You take watch, I'll set the plan into motion. Wait for my signal in case I get caught, will you?"
"Aye, aye," Shippou said and nodded once in affirmation. Kagome saluted him, and took off at a stooped jog around the edge of the house. The crickets chirped lazily in the early night, the trees whimpered and whistled against each other in the comfortable breeze, and the sound of distant water could be heard. A perfect night for secret agent business.
Kagome paused at the side of the house, listening for anything. Then she turned to the cabin.
The cabin was built on a slope, so that as one went around the single-story building the roof nearly touched the ground. If one was nimble, one could easily leap up there.
That was Kagome's destination.
With care, she sprung, catlike, onto the roof and crawled to the skylight. Carefully, she wiggled it open to its propped position and peeked down into the bedroom. Miroku was sleeping on one of the two Twin-size beds, and the sounds of the television were distant. Kagome withdrew her face and peeked over the other side of the roof, smiling down to Shippou, who waved her on.
Kagome patted the tube cheese in her sock holster and then wedged herself into the cracked window to her stomach. She bent her body and curved down into the room, and all was well until she got stuck.
Thunk-thunk. Nope, her torso was just barely too wide to fit through. And now she was stuck.
"Ahh...ah, Shippou!" she called in a fierce whisper. "Help!"
Shippou misinterpreted the message and began causing a ruckus, which was what he was supposed to do if Kagome got caught. He burst through the front door of the cabin.
"THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE NOISE OF MUSIC!" Shippou wailed melodramatically and very off key. In the living room, Inuyasha stared at him with an expressionless face.
"What the fuck are you doing?" he grunted. "Hills aren't alive, you dumb ass."
"Come look at my sand castle!" Shippou demanded, jumping in circles and going into the kitchen, trying to get Sango's attention.
Meanwhile, Kagome was trying to scramble out of the window. She stayed stuck, which was not only unfortunate, but very bad.
"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" she cried. "DEATH BY WINDOW!"
Below her frantically kicking legs, Miroku somehow slept soundly. Shippou could be heard singing about daffodils in spring and a bicycle built for five-legged creatures in the other room.
Finally, after squirming for a length of time, Kagome managed to pull herself out the skylight. She panted for a moment and then straightened herself out. She smoothed down her hair and adjusted her tee-shirt (which was starting to get incredibly smelly and dirty). Clearing her throat, she said to herself, "Let's skip phase two dash two for now."
She paused, looking off in the trees surrounding the cabin. They were shivering strangely, like an ocean wave was running through them. Every so often, a strange thump like a chair falling over could be heard. She leapt down from the roof and carefully went around into the trees. Tentatively, she crawled up into one of the trees and looked on. The strange shockwave ran through the trees again and shook her. She clung to the pine branch for her life.
The rustling stopped. Everything was still and unnaturally quiet. Kagome, nestled against a bedding of pine needles, felt like an intruder.
And then the wave went again, stronger than ever, and sent Kagome flying out of the tree. She screamed and ran back to the cabin. She flew in through the door. Shippou was running in circles around the room banging two pot lids together, Sango was waving a paperback in the air and threatening to smack him with it, and Inuyasha was howling for everyone to shut up. Miroku was still not awake.
Outside, she heard the trees rustle in a powerful wave again. She slammed the door shut, grabbed Shippou while screaming, and flung herself and Shippou underneath Inuyasha's chair. The pot lids clattered to the floor and Shippou looked dazed.
"It's those monsters again!" Kagome whimpered to herself.
"There aren't any monsters," Inuyasha moaned, looking warily down at the chair's feet. "What the fuck are you two doing now?"
"I was attacked!" Kagome insisted in a harsh hiss. Inuyasha thumped to the ground with a heavy sigh and peeked under the chair, feeling as if he was coaxing out a frightened puppy. Sango, meanwhile, rolled her eyes and went back to the kitchen.
"Attacked by what?" he asked with boredom and no concern.
"I-I don't know!" Kagome said, hugging the still Shippou tighter to her. "I was up in a tree over there---" she said, pointing wildly, "watching! The trees kept shaking and stuff kept thumping, but not from the wind. It really gave me the heebie jeebies, but I stayed and watched! And then my tree did it, too! It's monsters, I tell you!"
"You two are insane," Inuyasha notified. "Now get the hell out from underneath my damn chair and do something normal demons do."
"I'm staying right here until those monsters are gone."
"Saaango!" Inuyasha called.
"What now?!"
"Will you come tell these fucking morons there's no such thing as monsters!"
Sango stormed out of the kitchen. Miroku finally came out of the bedroom, blinking sleepily. Sango whacked Inuyasha on the back of the head, whacked Miroku on the back of the head, and then dropped down to the floor next to Inuyasha, peering underneath the chair.
"What are you two doing under there?"
"I was attacked! There're monsters!"
"Kagome, there's no such thing as monsters," Sango consoled.
"Then it was a ghost!" Kagome crowed, curling around Shippou even tighter.
"Can't...breathe..." Shippou whimpered.
"Sorry, Shippou," Kagome said with a sheepish grin, releasing the small fox demon and giving him a fond pat on the head.
"Just come out from under there!" Inuyasha growled at the pair.
The lights flickered and went out, along with the television.
Shippou whimpered and climbed back into Kagome's arms.
"Oopsie..." Kagome murmured.
"...'Oopsie?'" Sango repeated.
"I...uh...I set up the lights to do that..." Kagome said, chewing on her lip nervously.
"Why the fuck did you do that?!"
"No reason, exactly..." Kagome lied. Inuyasha howled and Sango loosed a heavy sigh. Miroku plopped down on the floor and exhaled.
"And when are they going back on?"
"We have to turn 'em on manually," Kagome explained. A small bubble of pride went up to her heart. Her trap had worked marvelously and now she had three demons' very rapt attention. "The trap I set only works one way."
"So go turn 'em back on!" Inuyasha barked.
"Are you crazy?! No way will I go back outside!"
"Get out there and turn the fucking lights on before I wring your scrawny neck!"
"Eep!" Kagome shot out from underneath the chair and dashed for the doorway. She fished around in her holster and pulled out the tube cheese, nervously licking her lips as she closed the front door behind herself. Her breath came raggedly as she listened for any strange noises from the forest. When she heard nothing, she tip-toed around the side of the house and went into a slightly adjoining shed. She left the door open, so that the weak moonlight pouring in gave enough light to make out the switches. On the floor was an intricate mess of string (she had gotten it by unraveling one of Inuyasha's shirts), squares of magazine paper (compliments of Miroku's naughty reading habits), acorns, a kitchen timer, several branches, and packaging tape. The remnants of her ingenious plan.
She stuffed her tube cheese away and turned on the switches in the control panel. She was rewarded with a gentle humming. She pulled off the remaining bits of string and gathered the supplies she had used in her plan, which she stuffed into the stretched-out sock holster. She exited the building carefully, comforted by the light streaming out of the windows.
Her comfort was short-lived as she was thrown backwards, barely missing the power switches, against the wall by a growling woman.
"Who the fuck are you?!" the woman demanded, seething and spitting and looking quite lethal. Kagome saw everything in double-vision as her head rung painfully.
"No one!" Kagome squeaked. It obviously wasn't the correct answer.
The woman growled lower and deeper, tightening her grip around Kagome's neck. "You dirty, sneaking bitch..." the woman said in a low voice.
"I didn't do anything!" Kagome panicked, picking at the woman's strong, bony fingers.
The woman snorted.
"What's going on in here?" a masculine voice asked with concern.
"Look at this," the woman ordered. The man came over and stuck his tongue out in mild disgust at the writhing, weakling girl his female companion was holding.
Kagome's hands dropped from her neck. Suddenly remembering her protective precautions, Kagome plunged a hand into her sock-holster and pulled out the bottle of tube cheese. She sprayed the woman's face, which caused her to loosen her grip and yip. Kagome sprinted out of the shed, followed by the two lunatic demons, as she hurtled herself back into the cabin and directly back underneath Inuyasha's chair.
"Wondering...where...you... went..." Inuyasha distractedly told her as he noticed the two demons standing in the door way---one wiping soft, yellow, clumping cheese away from her face and the other snarling.
"Ayame? Kouga?" Sango questioned. "I thought you two weren't getting here until day after tomorrow?"
"They attacked me!" Kagome squeaked from underneath the chair. Shippou had rejoined her, clinging to her and his tail shivering.
"Is that the human?" Ayame asked, pointing underneath the chair.
"Unfortunately..." Inuyasha murmured.
"What happened?" Miroku voiced.
"We had to come early," Kouga said. "Hey, come out from under there!" he added, directing the order at Kagome.
"Leave her the fuck alone," Inuyasha snarled. "She can stay under there if she wants to. Why did you have to come early?"
"Are they going to kill me or not?" Kagome asked from under the chair, sounding rather miffed and annoyed.
"No, they're harmless weaklings," Inuyasha explained. Kouga held up a fist while Ayame scolded Inuyasha. Kagome sighed heavily and crawled out from under her chair.
"You know," she said importantly, "your woods are haunted. The trees move on their own."
Kouga and Ayame began to laugh loudly.
"Are you talking about just now?" Ayame asked, rubbing the remaining cheese out of her eyes.
"Yes," Kagome said suspiciously, narrowing her eyes.
"That was us," Kouga said, "we move in whirlwinds."
"Enough of this!" Sango interrupted. "Let's do this the right way. Kagome, Ayame and Kouga. Ayame and Kouga, Kagome."
"I'll make sandwiches and coffee," Miroku offered and went into the kitchen. Inuyasha was broodingly watching the television again. Shippou was retrieving his pot lids and putting them away with resignation (he really enjoyed his Noise of Music performance). Sango sat down on the armrest furthest from Miroku and watched. Kagome dusted herself off with dignity and leaned against Inuyasha's chair, legs thrown out in front of her.
"Well," Kouga said. "How are you, Sango?"
"I'm just lovely," Sango said politely. "And how are you two?"
"We're doing wonderfully," Ayame told her.
"Enough with this bull shit," Inuyasha grumbled. "Why the fuck are you here early?"
"Tell you later," Ayame promised, nervously glancing at Kagome, who was fingering her tube cheese bottle with a serious, thoughtful expression. Shippou bounded back into the room and took a seat on Kagome's shoulder. She whispered something in his ear. They nodded to each other and then pretended to watch television.
"Scram," Inuyasha told them. "You two, go get lost."
"No," Shippou disagreed.
"We're watching television."
"Can we watch our movie now?" Shippou whined.
"Only if you get lost for awhile," Inuyasha reasoned. The two nodded and sprinted off for the bedroom. They closed the door behind them loudly, and then quietly teased it back open. In the living room, Miroku was called back in.
"We have some bad news," Kouga said to the group.
"Here," Ayame said, pulling out a video tape from her handbag. She put it into the VCR and set to tuning it, which took awhile.
Meanwhile, Kagome had Shippou stand guard while she padded into the bathroom. With a quiet chuckle, she stole all the tubes of toothpaste. Looking around for an appropriate hiding place, she decided to stuff them inside of Inuyasha's pillow case. His hair needed some minty freshness.
Kagome went back to Shippou, dusting her hands off proudly. In the other room, the television was finally cooperating with Ayame, which was a blessing in itself. Everyone knows televisions are temperamental and only show the programs they personally like.
A fuzzy newscast came on, although Kagome and Shippou could only hear the static. "They've been displaying this all over," Ayame warned.
Inuyasha squinted at it. A photograph of a woman with black hair and dark eyes came on the screen. "It's Ka-Kagome!" he hissed.
"In other news, there has been word of a human's escape into the demon world. If you see this human, call the number below. Please remember that humans are dangerous creatures and you should not approach it directly. Call authorities immediately. The following rewards are being offered for your assistance."
"Oh, fuck," Inuyasha said and slumped into his chair.
"They know Kagome's here..." Miroku mumbled. "We're going to be executed."
In the bedroom, Shippou and Kagome exchanged glances.
"Darn," Kagome whispered. "I guess this means my evil scheme must be post-poned."
* * *
Comments: I had a lot of trouble with this chapter. I just couldn't get in the mood for it. Hopefully next chapter will be better.Lake of Fire, yep, Kagome is totally OOC, while the rest of the characters are extremely overdone version of their stereotypical fanfic selves. Unfortunately, this is the only way I can do humor. :P I'm glad you approve!
valene, thanks so much! Like I said, this is the only way I can do humor! Oh yes, about Inuyasha's Ka-Kagome...well, this is from an earlier chapter---"Inuyasha just wouldn't get her name right, even after she had corrected him several times. He always insisted on putting the extra Ka in front. She was not sure if he was mocking her or if he was just stupid."
Sailor-Helios, your comments really mean a lot to me. They give me a lot of inspiration, and it really makes me so happy that you're asking questions, even if I can't answer them for risk of spoiler ;D. And yes! There will be a plot. Probably a generic, stereotypical one, but it'll be there!
Moonglow gal, sorry hah. My sense of humor overtakes me. :3
kikyo_must_die, haha, yep, life would be a blast if it could always be this way! A lot of these scenes are taken from my daily life...just not the exciting ones. Thanks a whole lot!
inu-ears, you'll just have to wait and see! -wink, wink-
Angel_4_life, thank you tremendously! You have no idea how much your comments mean to me!
To everyone else I did not answer, I'm terribly sorry. All your reviews are cherished, adored, and loved! Thanks everyone, so much!