InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Do What You Have to Do ❯ Chapter 11: Every Moment Marked ( Chapter 11 )

Title: Do What You Have To Do
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 11: Every Moment Marked

After New Years the servants were overly kind in their attentions to me and many talked aloud as they worked about New Years tryst's and loving words spoken by one lord or another.

I listened intently to their stories whispered while they worked in my quarters and in the halls. Stories of stolen touches, passionate kisses and stories of the actual act that made it seem so…much more than I had ever experienced with Sesshomaru. It seemed so surreal to hear them speak of the act of making pups as pleasurable and heavenly let alone the fact that they yearned for more. The very idea filled my mind with unanswered questions. What made the act pleasurable? Could it be pleasurable for everyone? Was it only painful for male couples?

I had myself experienced much pleasure coupling with Kagome and she herself had let me know that she found our coupling as pleasurable; she intentionally sought me out just for the act itself a few times. I wondered if there was a way that I could find pleasure in being the uke of this relationship.

I spent most of my free time in the library researching and reading. I pulled four or five books of various types and when no one was around I'd pull what I could find in the vast shelves that had anything that contained anything sexual or reproduction wise and hid it amidst my other selections. I made sure to read these when alone, usually in warm candlelight under the cover of night.

I found myself engrossed in a new mission of sorts and stayed up til dawn lost in words describing the act between male and female, frustrated with my search and exhausted during the day to the point of falling asleep while dining on lunch at the dining table in front of Sesshomaru.

This brought more questions from Aoiyuki about my health and I answered her as best I could, saying merely that I had been lost in my reading, finding a quiet solace in the stories I read. Sesshomaru began checking on me every night at midnight, making sure I was in bed, worried I would become sick or worse lose the pup because of my stupidity. I appeased him in this, worried for my unborn pup's health as well.

I found my search a losing battle until half of February had gone by. I had finally found what I had been searching for. Not so…much a book but a gathering of notes from a journal written by some demon named Rokushoji who at one time been a provincial lord in these parts under one of my ancestors. What I found was vivid descriptions of his mate and not just his mate but his male mate. I suppose Rokushoji thought himself a poet. Everything about his mate and their trysts was usually compared to acts of nature and never once had he said anything indecent about his mate or their couplings.

After reading his descriptions I found myself with more questions than before.

I set aside my sexual curiosity as March drew near and my pup grew much too large for its current home. It kicked and stretched and moved a great deal and at these times I tried to calm it with soft talks and placing my hands on my belly rubbing it soothingly. Sesshomaru watched from a distance, occasionally taking the initiative and placing his hand on my belly feeling the movement of his pup. I allowed this with as little irritation on my face as possible. I found myself proud of not throwing “tantrums” as they had been called. I don't know when expressing myself or my feelings became tantrums but that was what Sesshomaru had called them. When this pup was ready to enter this world he was in for the largest tantrum he would ever see, I was betting on it.

Ryusei also took a great deal of pleasure in his soon to arrive sibling's antics. He talked about playing with his new sibling and teaching him what he himself had learned from his father. I couldn't help but be proud of Ryusei, he had grown so…much. It was hard to believe he would soon be eight.

April came in a flurry of falling cherry blossoms that blanketed the castle courtyard in a soft blush colored blanket. I found myself relieved with their arrival since I was overly large with pup and more than ready to have it enter this world quickly and with good health. It felt as though everyone was looking my way constantly and I found them stifling. I missed the comfort of my first pregnancy experience. The calm and restraint everyone showed, the soft laughter of Sango and Miroku's children's voices along with Shippo's and the comfort Kaede offered just by being there, her experience and confidence a giant stress reliever with no trying on her part.

I ignored the stares and well meant advice and kicked off my tabi and enjoyed the feel of the petals and cool spring air on my overly pampered feet and toes. I felt the breeze blow my wisps of hair freely around my face and found it refreshing.

“Chichiue! Why are you barefooted?”

I looked across the courtyard and found Ryusei approaching with his father in tow. I had a feeling this wasn't going to end well. They came closer and the tell tale wrinkle could be seen between Sesshomaru's eyebrows letting me know he was irritated or angry.

He could take his anger and shove it up his ass. This was my one respite as of late and I'd be damned if I let him take it away from me on this day.

Ryusei approached and smiled brightly, “Are the petals soft” he asked innocently.

“Quite, like a well worn silk kimono,” I said with a wink.

“Come inside, Inu Yasha.”

It was said with what I sounded like a calm manner but I heard the storm brewing in his words. He had a thunder of reprimands waiting for me.

“When I am done,” and I managed to say it with a soft tone as I closed my eyes to feel the pleasantly warm rays of the sun on my face.

“I'd prefer now.”

“And I'd prefer a lot of things but we don't always get what we prefer. So I ask you let me have my moment of calm so that I can smile when I re-enter the stagnant air of our home.”

It felt like my voice had been forced from someone else's mouth. I could feel the emotions I had buried for long emerge with that short comment and I had a feeling his reply wouldn't be good.

I had defied him and I had defied him in front of our son who was used to seeing his sire get his way.

“Ryusei, go inside.”

At that I opened my eyes and felt my calm atmosphere vanish. I turned just my head to look at him as he stared at our son.

“Are you afraid he'll see what he saw when you first drug me here? Afraid to let him see you hit his carrying ChiChiue? If it can't be done in front of him then it is best you not do it.”

My calm had vanished and any rest I had gotten from it replaced with anxiety and stress. Anger bubbled to the surface and rage and I felt my face twist with it.

He looked at me and walked towards me as I bent my knees and jumped as high as my legs would allow, finding a branch to land on in the nearest cherry tree.

“This is not wise, Inu Yasha.”

“Then give me my respite just once and all will be well.”

He jumped into the air and jumped at the end of my branch and I stepped back, my back hitting the trunk of the tree. I watched as he approached feeling trapped and did as instinct demanded; I jumped, landing on the next branch. I did this on two more branches, landing oddly on the last one causing my ankle to twist. It throbbed with pain and I struggled to keep my balance and still he pursued me. I looked for a way down, afraid to do much more jumping in my state, afraid for mine and my pups' safety. Sesshomaru didn't give me much of a chance as he jumped down in front of me; I panicked and jumped to a branch down below bringing me closer to the ground.

I was only a little over six feet from the ground and I could make it safely to the ground from here. The branch I stood on was still young and flimsy so I readied myself, careful of my aching ankle as I did so. The branch shook, shaking me, throwing off my balance. I looked up and saw Sesshomaru and looked down to see the ground just as a loud crack sounded. I was in mid jump when it gave way and I felt myself falling. I felt my body hit the ground and the air left my lungs. Branches and petals fell around me as I fought to catch my breath and no sooner had I caught it that I felt an excruciating cramp. I fought to sit up and saw why I had felt that cramp.

I had landed flat on my face, my belly and unborn pup taking the brunt of my fall.

I rolled onto my side and took in a few gulps of air as I saw Sesshomaru's feet. I screamed as the cramp became a stabbing pain unlike any I had felt before. As if I was being cut from the inside out. All sound was drowned out as my heartbeat and breaths thrummed loudly.

I curled in on myself praying I had not killed my pup. I felt someone lift my body and the world rocked by colors mixing, making me ill. The pain continued and I felt my body lowered onto a soft surface. Hands forced me to uncurl and the pain grew and then I felt liquid pour down my thighs.

“No…no no no….,” I felt myself sobbing out.

I had broken my waters. I had killed my pup. I now had to deliver a dead pup.

“Calm yourself, Inu Yasha,” I heard Aoiyuki's voice and then saw her face.

I felt her hands on my face and heard her bark out orders and then the pain intensified. I had started having contractions, contractions unlike anything I had felt when birthing Ryusei, sharp and intense and laced with stinging and unrelenting pinching. I tried to concentrate on what was going around me but failed miserably, each pain numbing my thoughts, leaving only thoughts of my dead pup and fear of my own death in its wake.

Hands found their way into my now barely clothed body and I felt them searching and then I felt them stretching me, and screams tore from my throat. I felt that almost familiar pressure and knew it to be my pup at my entrance.

Hands cupped my face and forced me to focus, “I need you to listen Inu Yasha, you have to push, no matter how much it hurts. Understand?”

I nodded weakly, “I'll have both your lives saved when this is all over with. Just push when I say.”

I felt hands on my body again and the stabbing pain returned and she yelled to push and I did, as hard as I could, feeling my insides stretch and tear as I did so.

“Good, you can do it! Keep going.”

I pushed until I felt light headed and when she gave me a rest I lay back and stared up at the ceiling. It somehow looked brighter than before.

“Don't you leave me! Get yourself together and push Inu Yasha!”

The pain worsened and I forced myself up and began to push with any and all strength. I did this at every command until the room began spinning. I felt my pups head pass and fell back as the world around me hazed and darkened. I closed my eyes and let the darkness pull me in as the pain all but disappeared.

Something yanked me back. I felt my eyes forced open and my head rolled to the side where I watched Aoiyuki blowing into the open mouth of a blood covered newborn, much too small to have come from me. I went to close my eyes again and felt a sharp smack to my right cheek. I worked to keep my eyes open and saw Sesshomaru standing above me. I felt adrift in my own body. I couldn't feel much, a dull throb between my legs let me know I could still feel somewhat.

I closed my eyes and felt hands cupping my face and squeezing so that I was looking once again into Sesshomaru's face.

“Leave me………be………̶ 1;

“NO!”

It was gruff and left no room for argument but I was always one to pull his strings.

I felt drained and exhausted and I just wanted to sleep. I closed my eyes again and felt myself fall into the comfort that was nothingness and just as silence was taking over I heard a cry. Not just a cry, but the wail of a baby and then there was nothing.

To be continued….

Yeah…a little depressing but then again I have found myself addicted to the Yoshida Brothers and the song “Cherry Blossoms in Winter” seems appropriate for this scene. If you haven't heard of the Yoshida Brother's, they're traditional Shamisen players, you can see them in the Nintendo Wii commercials and you can see them live at Otakon this year. Check em' out on Youtube as well.

Well gotta go. I'd like to start on Chapter 12.

OH and this story now has its own banner on forever fandom dot net~!

Kat