InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Do What You Have to Do ❯ Chapter 13: I’m ever swiftly moving ( Chapter 13 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Do What You Have To Do
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 13: I'm ever swiftly moving

The world around me felt surreal and unnatural as I once again watched leaves coloring before tumbling to the ground, another fall upon us and a summer vanished before I had the chance to witness and enjoy it.

That wasn't the only reason my world had a feeling of up becoming down, I had become a prisoner in my brothers home and my servants had now become unaware jailors and spies.

Yes, I say unaware because they were drilled incessantly as to how my behavior and mood was. They talked about how he “doted” on me and how he was such a great mate while inside I was dying and wishing awful things on him. I wanted no part of him or his possessions which seemed to accumulate in my room as he continued to send kimonos, hair pins and scented oils at least once a week if not more.

I ignored them and had continued wearing the old kimono's I had worn previously and amused myself by giving away the hair pins and other hair pieces to my servants who seemed to take more joy in them than I ever would.

I rarely left my quarters and if I did it was to make my way to either Rin's quarters or to a designated play area set aside for my pups as well as Rin's. It was in these places in the company of my pups that I found my respite from Sesshomaru and his rules. My pups grew by leaps and bounds ever intriguing me and occupying my waking and dreaming thoughts.

Chiouka had begun to stand, taking steps here and there. She tried hard to follow her brother and seemed almost angry when she couldn't. She grew fond of me but still clung to Rin and there was nothing I could do or say that would change it. Rin had been mother and nurse to her for six months while I had been in my coma, I smiled and bore it with as much calm and grace as one in my position could.

I decided not to sit back and idly wait for Sesshomaru to once again fill me with his seed, which in turn would be another pup. Aoiyuki had fulfilled my one and only favor I had asked of her; she had brewed me my tea. A tea that would hopefully prevent me from carrying anymore pups. I drank my tea diligently once a day and at least once a day Sesshomaru would find me in my sanctuaries and when he did he would either sit back in a corner or watch me interact with my pups or quietly converse with someone else in the room. He left me alone, not really speaking to me or of me while in my presence, this left me nervous and anticipating his moves and actions.

It seemed like a dangerous dance the two of us. He padded gently around me while I quickly dodged and avoided him. A sad pair of partners we were, never touching, speaking or direct eye contact, always apart. It probably wouldn't have looked so odd to others who hadn't known us, they would have thought us prudish or private but when you saw Rin and Kohaku we stood out like sore thumbs. Where we dodged touches, they went out of their way to make physical contact of any kind. Where we avoided looking directly into each others eyes, theirs never seemed to look elsewhere. We never spoke, not even a whisper and they seemed to hang on each word, whisper or sound that escaped from each others lips.

I found myself hating them, just a little.

When the first snow fell and covered the ground I found the signs of my beginning heat upon me.

My body constantly hot and aching, my sensitivity heightened and my emotions all over the place. I continued taking the tea in the hopes that it would keep me from carrying, knowing that I would soon produce pheromones letting everyone, including Sesshomaru, know that I would was ready to conceive. I couldn't stop myself from panicking every time he passed me in the hall and my eating habits had all but stopped as I found my nerves too much of a wreck to try holding food in my stomach.

It was on the second day of my heat induced fast that he approached me in the hall. His aura was the same as it had been the first time, emanating dominance and power. He leaned over me at the dinner table, close enough that his hot breath tickled my ear causing goose bumps to rise along my arms.

“Do not bring Ryusei or Chiouka to your room tonight.”

With that he stood and walked away. I watched him go and felt my empty stomach do flips as nausea took over. I sat in my dinner seat until the table had been cleared and most of its occupants had vanished to their own quarters. I watched my children leave, Rin taking Ryusei's hand and leading him from the dining room and felt my eyes grow hot as he turned around to look at me as he was led from the room.

I lifted my hand and waved to him, plastering a smile on my face. I sat there until I could no longer see him or his worried face and then I stood up. It would be of no use to ignore what I was told or to run and throwing a fit would only lead to more harm than good.

So with a heavy heart I made my way to my quarters. I found them empty but also found that my room had been set up to welcome more than just me on this night. The fires had been lit in the fireplaces; one in my room and one in my sitting area. My bed had been made as usual but I also found my basin water warm and filled with citrus oils and lavender petals. I looked at myself in the mirror and found someone I didn't recognize. I was pale and thin and my face showed an emotion that I knew wasn't often displayed on the face of the old me, although describing was a task I didn't want or care to do.

I turned away from the mirror and took a warmed rag from my dressing table and dipped it into the oil warmed water before wiping it across my face, neck, arms and hands; dipping twice more before finishing my task. Once I found myself suitably clean I turned to my window which had an inside ledge and perched myself upon on it, looking out across the courtyard which was once again snow covered. I felt a slight thought of madness cross my mind at having to live this scene over again, at having him touch me again.

Deep inside I hoped that I could lay there and let him take his pleasure. If I were a good little uke he could do as he likes, finish and leave, just like he had the two other times. If I were still and appeared to be willing then perhaps this time would be different. I wasn't expecting anything like what I had heard the servants whisper of but I could at least expect a bit more civility.

I heard the door open and felt his presence in the door way. He seemed larger than he was and it wasn't helped by the odor of musk that wafted off of him. He was aroused…and I suppose I should have found that a surprise or offensive but I was no longer an innocent moron. I knew that he had found me attractive and my body a source or pleasure.

I felt him come to a stop behind me and felt his hand on my shoulder.

“Move to the bed.”

The door closed and soft footsteps slowly vanished as the sound of a second door closing could be heard.

I stood and turned to find myself face to chest, a large kimono clad chest. I quickly looked down, afraid to show him my face for fear of what he would see on it.

As I stood there his hands wandered over my body, stopping at my outer kimono robe, untying the sash and the obi. I heard them slip and fall to the floor, a sound that only satin or silk could make echoing in my mind as he slid my kimono from body and let it join the other bits of cloth on the floor.

I felt his hands in my hair, which had all but my bangs, been pulled up atop my head in a tucked under pony tail or bun. My face had been exposed and then I felt it cascading over my face, neck and back. I felt his hands roam through it, caressingly and then I felt him pull my body flush against him. I could feel his arousal pressing against my back, just a little above my tail bone. I gasped, shocked.

He tilted my head back, taking advantage of my opened mouth and proceeded to delve his tongue inside my mouth. It was odd and forceful and yet I yelped and tried pry myself from his grasp, which he tightened. One arm wrapped around my midsection, the other holding my neck gently yet forcefully in place as he plundered my mouth.

This continued until I started sliding down his body, my legs giving way from the sensations going through my body and lack of oxygen.

He pulled me by my waist to my bed and lay me on my back. I tried to regain control of my facilities and no sooner had my senses returned that I felt him on me again, this time his hands on my thin under kimono, which soon disappeared.

Flesh to flesh was the next thing I felt as his chest covered mine and his mouth, hands and hair trailed over every part of me that he could get to. I wriggled and gasped and shook my head to and fro. I needed something….

He touched my lower body and it was then that I realized I was aching with need, my neglected manhood standing at attention waiting for his touch. A touch that never came as hands went past my aching member and to my bottom. I felt a digit enter me and then another, stretching me as they entered and retreated repeatedly.

As they entered on this last round they hit something that caused me to arch up, my hips coming completely off the bed. I heard what I thought was a snicker as the torture continued, his fingers now purposely hitting that place until I shamefully released my seed over his and my body.

I lay there gasping for breath waiting for my shaking body to calm but it never had the chance as I felt the hard, hot flesh push into me, so…full and yet not as bad as that first or second time. He didn't waste any time as he proceeded to pound into my now willing body. I don't know how much time passed before I had my second orgasm and he his first but it wasn't enough. No sooner had his knot loosened that he pulled me down so that my legs now rested on his shoulders and his hardening member once again at my entrance.

He entered me again and pounded into me, knotting again as my orgasm hit for a third time. I felt myself pulled down by exhaustion before his knot loosened this time and he fell asleep.

I awoke and found him sitting beside me, a glass of water in his hand. I struggled to sit up, finding myself overly sensitive as I did so, but no pain. I took the glass and drank it before lying back down and falling once again into a dreamless sleep.

I awoke again and this time I awoke on my side, his hard flesh poking at my entrance. I couldn't get words to form before he entered me, another rut beginning.

I don't know how many times we coupled and I can't count how many times I found release nor how much time had passed. My window shades were pulled tight keeping light from seeping in. I know that we had tried positions that I had never even known existed, especially between male couples. On my back, on my sides, on my knees, stomach, arms with my legs in his grasp, on my shoulders with my knees in his grasp and finally once again in missionary position with a force so strong he had actually managed to break the hard wood foundation of my bed.

I fell in and out of sleep between bouts of sexual gratification, never eating, and drinking either water or various teas he offered.

I awoke finding him lying beside me and closed my eyes. Upon opening them again, I found him gone. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.

A knock on the door disturbed any further sleep I would have gotten. I huddled under the covers as the sounds of water splashing became a distant echo, not really sleeping and not really awake.

“Lord Inu Yasha, we've filled your tub sire. Please, bathe while the water remains hot. While you bathe we'll ready a meal.”

With that the sound of the door closing echoed throughout my room. Rosehips and lavender permeated my room and I moaned as I made to sit up, my body just now catching up to the activities it had participated in. It hurt in places I hadn't known were there and I felt like one giant bruise. I crawled out from under my cocoon of blankets and stood shakily. A long floor mirror against the far wall showed every purple, black, blue and even some green, brown and yellowing healing bruises that littered my pale body.

I was even more surprised to find hickeys along my neck and chest and other odd places along my torso. I shook my head finding my hair a tangled mess and sticky in parts, with what I didn't want to consider.

I walked my nude, bruised and remnant covered body over to the tub and sat down on a wooden stool set there. I grabbed a rag and dipped it into my bathwater and did a once over until I wasn't as disgusting as I had been before standing up and getting into the nice warm, nice smelling bath water. I slid fully under the water, wetting myself from head to toe. I came back up and grabbed at the soap and scrubbed myself furiously. From head to toe I scrubbed, although a lot more gently than I would have preferred, finding a lot of places far too tender to think about let alone touch.

I soaped and rinsed my hair before I found a nice concoction that I had discovered was a lot like Kagome's conditioner. I slicked my hair with the “conditioner” and let it sit that way until the water began to chill and then I rinsed it from my long locks. Once it was free from the substance I stood and stepped from the tub, finding myself a bit sturdier.

As I dressed I felt the all too familiar fatigue hit and I made my way swiftly to my now clean bed. I grabbed a clean robe set aside for me by my servants and donned it before collapsing on the bed, the exhaustion pulling me down.

Why, why did this exhaustion seem so…familiar?

My breath caught in my throat as I pushed myself up and grabbed another robe and pulled it on over the first. I all but ran from my quarters past stunned servants and maids. I made my way down the stairs and past staring guards until I came to stand in front of Aoiyuki's quarters. I knocked urgently at the door.

The door opened and upon seeing her face looking not the least bit surprised I felt anger and depression fill every part of my being.

“Come in, Inu Yasha,” she said as she stepped back from the door.

I felt myself moving but I couldn't say how or why and when I found myself sitting on a couch with a blanket wrapped around my body I felt as if I were frozen while everything continued to move around me. It was quiet as I heard Aoiyuki's movements in her quarters and it took a while for me to form the words and finally make them vocal but I had managed it somehow.

“I'm carrying.”

She stopped mid-movement and without turning to face me answered, “I stopped the first morning to drop off your tea and he took it from me. I believe he gave it to you. On the second morning I returned and he accepted the tea again and while I was there he voiced his concerns about your heat. Saying it shouldn't have lasted after your first coupling.”

I had been wondering about that myself but I remained quiet as she continued.

“The third morning I returned and found him there at the door to meet me. He was worried. You were far too skinny and you were drinking lots of water. Your heat was slowly draining you and it wasn't letting up. He went to take the tea from me and as he took it into his hand I couldn't help but let the worry show and that was when he followed my line of vision to the cup of tea.”

“So..he put two and two together and….”

“He dumped your tea into a nearby potted plant and told me not to return to your quarters unless summoned,” She paused and turned to face me, “which took two more days. He was worried. Your heat had seemed to calm some but it was still upon you. He had realized he had driven you to the tea and he pleaded for me to find a way to release you from your torture. So I made a tea that is often used to cleanse ones system of toxins and had him give it to you.”

I lowered my head and realized that I had no choice; I was to carry his heirs because clearly I would not be allowed to drink my tea anymore and I doubt he would let Aoiyuki to continue to follow my request and try to search for another that might work. Knowing him, he would probably personally check any tea's being served to me.

“On the seventh day he left your room rather exhausted asking everyone to let you be until today. He gave strict orders that you were to stay in your quarters and rest unless he otherwise stated.”

I stared down at my midsection and felt my eyes grow hot. I watched as everything blurred as the feeling of warm wetness slipped down my cheeks, coming to a stop at my chin where they fell off, landing on my cold blanket clenched hands.

I felt hands on my shoulders and felt myself pulled into a lap as I cried. No words were said for the longest time and eventually I found the soft and calming movement of a brush through my hair slowly lulling me into a calmness I hadn't felt in a while.

When the brushing stopped I waited a few minutes before sitting up. I stood up and un-wrapped the blanket from around my body and held it out to her.

She shook her head and wrapped me in a blanket cocoon once more, “It's cold and you are barely dressed. Take it, I have others.”

I made my way to her door and opened it, walking out without closing it behind me. I walked with a new calm, a calm that was not me.

I would be birthing him another pup. Another year of birthing and of being locked away like some dirty secret or coveted prize, not that he'd let me go anywhere either way.

I passed him by as I went up the stairs and said nothing to him. I felt him follow behind me and found that I didn't even have the energy to hate him anymore. It was useless and wasteful and as I made my way to my quarters I realized it was futile.

I would be an infant stomping my feet for not getting my way and since that hadn't worked I would now be what everyone wanted, a quiet well dressed doll, a breeding tool with no thoughts or feelings.

I felt a hand on my arm and didn't bother to look up as I was guided into my room and helped into my bed. I was covered until I found the layers of blankets stifling, but I said nothing. It was best to do nothing.

Yes…do nothing, say nothing, become nothing….

To Be Continued…..

THANK YOU ALL! For reading and reviewing and all the great feedback. You certainly make me feel better about my writing. You give me the confidence to keep writing and I thank you.

This chapter was quite exciting and then ended in a deep sadness and loss of self. The next few chapters are going to hurt. When you guys review and say it made you cry, don't feel bad because when writing chapters that make you cry I often tear up myself while writing them.

Well let me post this and go to bed. Writing til 4am is tiring.

Kat