InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Do What You Have to Do ❯ Chapter 19: But I have the sense to recognize ( Chapter 19 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Do What You Have To Do
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 19: But I have the sense to recognize

Time flies when one is lost in routine. My children are growing up and it seems that I have not been blessed with carrying again. Five years more have passed and Ryusei is now twenty-one and still looks no older than sixteen. He has for the moment reached a stage where he will be frozen in time for a century or more. We almost resemble siblings but his face and expressions still hold such innocence to them and discern our ages to someone who looks close enough. His beautiful markings stand out bright on his pale face, his scarlet stripes along his jaw and cheekbones, his eyelids tipped in crimson like a skilled makeup artist that his genetics had blessed him with and the deep indigo crescent moon on his forehead that is almost visible through his bangs. Sometimes if he is sweaty and his bangs are pushed from his face you get a glimpse of the moon he inherited from his sire and sometimes the wind blows his bangs giving us glimpses of it like the moon hiding behind silken pale white clouds.

He is tall and towers almost a foot taller than me. I am amazed at his growth. Seeing him and Sesshomaru beside each other is a breathtaking thing and one that servants comment on quite often as the two seem to always be together.

I believe Sesshomaru is grooming him in the hopes that his eldest son will one day rule the lands and be a firm and strict ruler.

I have heard no plans for our younger sons though they want to be at their elder brother's side and have expressed that wish repeatedly. He would have a right and left hand in them. They are only ten now but they have as much spunk as their older brother. They have begun a cruel game of teasing their elder sister and I intervene on occasion but she more than defends herself.

The two had tried to sneak attack her one afternoon and I couldn't keep from laughing aloud after seeing she had scratched the word “idiot” on both of their cheeks. It had taken a little over a week for the ingrained word to fade due to the venom in her dainty little claws. She has come into her individual powers and Sesshomaru has volunteered his afternoons teaching her how to best use her would be deadly claws. He has mentioned teaching her to use whips similar to his own. I had no need to disagree, she is a lady that every male should envy and fear.

Chiouka is quite a sassy little lady at only fourteen and I cannot help but fret over her. She is more independent than me and twice as stubborn because like her sire she thinks herself all powerful and invincible. She will learn one day that she is not but until then I can teach her with the hope that she will learn from future mistakes and not let them bring her down but help build her up into a better individual.

She is a beautiful being and if only her ego wasn't as large I'd be more inclined to tell her so more often. Her long locks have gained a bit of waviness to them and after having found a painting of my father I can say that her waves are a softer version of his.

She is never one to keep the same style for long and is always trying new things with her hair but more often than not pins most of it back behind her head to keep it out of the way when she spars or is practicing her venom whips; yes she has decided that she will be able to wield two instead of one.

Her eyes are like her fathers, so hard and steel-like in the exact almond shape. You add the crimson markings along her delicate eyelids and the single crimson line under each eye and her crescent moon in the middle of her forehead in that softer shade of indigo and I can't help but see her resemblance to her grandmother.

To speak of the demoness seems to have conjured her. I have heard that she will be attending our New Years banquet this year, gracing us and those in attendance with her presence.

I cannot say that I am happy to have her in the castle let alone near me or my children. But as the winter snow blows and the days count down I know my happiness has little to do with what goes on in the castle.

Days go quickly for one lost in thoughts and as the day of the New Years eve fell upon us I found myself lost in the hustle and bustle of the castle; watching as servants rushed around like ants carrying things from one room to another and removing them in the same fashion.

Spare rooms were made ready for guests and fresh potpourri was set out with other dried blooms and incense to give the palace a soft floral smell. Rugs and tapestries had been taken out and dusted off in one way or another and the palace was filled with the scent of food and pastries as they cooked. I watched as the twins were chased by one of the young serving girls they often teased, their arms filled with mochi of some sort.

Sesshomaru was doing as his station required holding such a gathering in his palace and I had begun to realize he hated these gatherings almost as much as I did. He hid his dislike well is what you would think looking on his supposed emotionless visage but I had been with him for over fifteen years now and I am beginning to see little signs that give away his hidden emotions.

If you observe him quietly enough you can see his brows raise just slightly enough to know that something has surprised him. At times he will idly run his hands through or over his mokomoko letting you know that he is bored or sometimes even irritated. He has a small habit flicking his nails over his thumb when trying to contain his annoyance and sometimes he will clench his jaw just enough that it's noticeable.

He has been in my presence too long or perhaps he has gotten more comfortable around me because I have even seen him roll his eyes and heard him sigh when the children have misbehaved or done something irritating or incredibly stupid and not just our children…I've watched him do this when reading missives as well. I sometimes chuckle watching this and he has given me that confused look with one eye raised in question and I continue chuckling.

He does not question and I do not tell him for fear he will correct his physical tells and I have enjoyed learning and watching for them for far too long to have him correcting them.

I watched him as he came towards me his hands fisted in his long furred mokomoko and his jaw set straight. He stopped in front of me and gently grabbed my right hand with his free one and pulled me down the hall and towards one of the empty guests bedrooms pulling the door closed behind him. He dropped my hand and pulled at his heavy robes leaving them on the floor before working on my own.

He was gentle and rough at the same time as his hands roamed over my body where it was now bare to the room. He leaned in nipping and biting along my jaw, neck and shoulders working his way down to my chest and nipples where he nipped and suckled leaving me gasping and mewling, his hands still divesting himself of clothing. Once we were both bare he pushed me against the wall so that I faced it and began nipping and biting my sensitive ears working his way down my neck and shoulders down my back and to my bottom. He massaged my bottom parting my globes as he slid down my body nipping at my bottom causing me to gasp and cry out.

Moistened fingers circled my opening, pushing inside and I shivered as he found my most sensitive part pushing against it purposely sending me into fits of shivers and crying out loudly, his other hand holding me against the wall while he pleasured me until I released against the wall crying out loud enough that any who walked by the room would be able to hear.

He removed his fingers and kissed my shaking bottom before nipping it hard enough to leave a mark and causing my body to jolt and shake roughly once more. I stood there fighting to stay standing and then he pushed deep inside of me my legs gave way and his strong arms caught my legs under the knees and held me in place and allowing him to penetrate me even deeper.

I shivered and shook in his arms as my overly sensitive body was once again assaulted and another orgasm began to build, his hips thrusted hard against my bottom and the sounds of pounding flesh filled the room along with my cries and gasps and his heavy breathing. He pushed ever deeper where pain and pleasure mingled and he went slow and steady and as my orgasm crashed over me and I screamed and dug my nails into his arms before lifting my arms and wrapping them around his neck and bringing his head down so that our lips could come together and he swallowed my cries as I emptied my seed onto my chest.

My cries ended and I felt him grin against my lips and then he started thrusting once more this time gaining speed as he walked us over towards a small cushioned chair as he settled my knees atop the cushions. My hands shakily gripped the chairs back and I felt him expand deep inside of me and then his seed filled my body and his mouth found the scarred mating mark he had given me fifteen years ago and he bit down gently, a growl escaping his clamped teeth as he did so.

It was as if the second orgasm had never ended as shocks of pleasure tore my third orgasm from me and I arched up as far as his body against my back would let me. His mouth parted from his mark on my shoulder and his mouth sought mine once more. We kissed and tongues fought until my shaking subsided.

He turned and settled us on the chair so that he was now lying across the cushions and my back was cushioned against his chest, our bodies still tied together. His arms wrapped around my body and I lay mine atop of them holding them in place.

“Know that no other will ever be tied to me like you are,” he spoke softly into my ear.

I stiffened in his arms and felt my eyes grow hot at his statement.

“Instinct has chosen well for me and I can say that this Sesshomaru is content with the life I am living now.”

He gave me a gentle squeeze and I held onto his arms tighter as so many things flittered through my mind.

“When spring comes would you like to go on a small journey? We could leave the pups with Aoiyuki, Jakken and Ryusei and we could see the sights, just the two of us.”

I nodded and cleared my throat, “I would like that.”

His words filled me with hope. Perhaps we could work, perhaps I would be able to earn his trust and be able to start going outside on my own again. It's not like I would just leave, leaving behind my children.

He held me close and I felt him begin to soften and finally he slid from my body.

“I wonder if I can become pupped out of my heat,” I pondered aloud.

“We will have to find out,” he stated in a masculine tone that held promise as his arms wandered down to gently cup my flat belly.

They would have wandered further but my hands stopped them as I chuckled, “We have a large guest list of demons showing up sir to a party you decided to throw. So as much as I would love another round we both need a bath.”

I heard what one could only describe as a sigh leave his lips and I was lifted up in his arms and then set on the chair as he stood up and threw on his kimono robes and haphazardly tied them in place. As I stood up he wrapped my robes around my body so that no skin could be seen and then wrapped mokomoko around my body before lifting me into his arms.

I made a small sound as he walked us out of the room. I couldn't see much but I recognized the hallways by their paintings. We came to stand in front of my quarters where my door was already open and the servants had just finished filling the tub with fresh hot water.

They all bowed in our direction, a few with bright smiles filled with mischief as the quickly left my quarters.

“Bathe and dress in the new hakama set on your bed and I shall see you tonight,” as he said it he set me down on my bed beside the new hakama set that was laid out so that the shades of crimson and white was a stark contrast against my dark navy blue quilts.

I watched as he turned and walked out of the room closing the door behind him and no sooner than he was gone that I had unbundled myself and stepped into the steaming hot water. In the winter the hot water went cold quickly so I made fast work of bathing. I made sure to scrub every inch of me with the soaps and oils left behind and even gave my hair a quick wash which was getting difficult to do now that the length was past my knees.

I stood and dried myself and then applied more of the oils left behind on my night stand so that I smelled of citrus and pine with just a hint of rosehips. I dressed myself in the hakama set and set to work on my hair. It hadn't taken too long to brush it all out but even with fifteen years of having servants teach me how to braid and pull it up in stylish ways I seemed to still have trouble deciding what to do with my silver locks. I sighed and opted to leave the back down and braided the sides so that they wouldn't fall forward while I was eating. I stood and looked myself over in the mirror and as I left my bedroom and came to stand in sitting area of my quarters I found myself staring into the smiling face of Reika as well as two other servants.

“Sit please, Lord Inu Yasha,” Reika asked.

I did as asked and I allowed them to torture me as they always did when it came to getting ready for parties and events. They always applied a light amount of charcoal around my eyes to help them stand out and today they had even brought out the crimson powder which they touched gently to the top corners of my eyelids making me look a bit more like my pups and their sire. I allowed them to add one snowflake decorated hair clip on each side of my bangs and begged their mercy to be left alone.

They all giggled but they freed me and then walked out of my quarters with me waving me off so that they could clean them. I took a deep breath and made my way to the large rooms we called a banquet hall. I was surprised to see familiar faces that seemed happy at my arrival.

Our guests Lord Pacchiri and his mate Lady Amira were here with two of their brood; a daughter and a son that looked to be the same age but I knew better. The daughter held a bit more power to her letting me know she was the oldest. Both siblings were tan skinned with their father's bright coppery locks and golden brown eyes.

I bowed to them and then passed by them and came to Kouga and Ayame with their two eldest children; both sons with their fathers ebony locks and teal eyes. His eldest was a bit older than Chiouka and seemed to take after his father with a smile that was all grin and his long hair pulled back into a high pony tail. The youngest was younger than the twins and kept his hair cropped in a short ponytail that was pulled into a bob of sorts. He was shy and seemed to avoid eye contact but for his first big assembly he was doing well and I said as much as we socialized before someone else approached Kouga and began talking politics.

I excused myself and was about to make my way over to Sesshomaru when I saw her…

There in the middle of the room stood Sesshomaru's mother and at her side stood a demoness that was a prime example of the females of the Inu tribe. She was dainty and pale complexion with soft gold eyes and curved stripes under her heavily lashed eyes with their true crimson marks and bright crimson lips. Her body was thin but she had curves in every place that counted and wore an elegant off the shoulder kimono ensemble.

Something about her made me hate her right from the start. She looked down at me as if I were nothing but dirt beneath her and raised her head and lifted a fan from her sleeve and opening it so that she could talk to me through it.

“I see you are the current mate. I will be sure you are gotten rid of when I become his mate. I can't have him keeping trash like you as a concubine.”

I must have made a move because fear filled her eyes momentarily as I moved forward only to feel a hand take my own and gently pat it.

I looked up and into my eldest sons sympathetic honey eyes and calmed myself some. His eyes were usually the pale gold of a full yellow moon but today they were darkened by anger much like my own.

“It is nice to see you grandmother, though I cannot say I appreciate your guest or how she is treating my Chichiue or his station. It might be best you both leave our home if you've come here to incite anger and show your cruel streak.”

“And who are you to talk to us like this,” asked the manicured bitch.

“I am Ryusei, son to Sesshomaru and Inu Yasha and next in line to the Inu Youkai throne and you are…”, and even though he asked it politely his smile was almost cruel.

I found myself clinging to the deep blue of my son's hakama fighting my anger, hoping to swallow it deep so that she would be unable to provoke me again but I was kind of hoping deep down that she would. Perhaps an actual fight would allow me to work out the stress now gathered between my shoulders.

“I am Lady Chinatsu,” she said as she lifted her head up further if it were possible.

I almost hoped her ego would weigh her down and her neck would snap under the pressure.

“Dinner will be served in the next room if everyone would adjourn there.”

For the first time ever I was glad to hear Jakken's loud shriek from across the room.

As everyone made their way to the next room I watched as Sesshomaru approached and even from a distance I could see how tense his shoulders were and how anger glittered in his honey colored eyes.

“You were permitted to return her with the hopes you would act with some decorum and not bring some you claim to be my mate,” he said in a clipped tone.

“But Chinatsu should have been your mate not…” and she looked in my direction and I could feel my anger bubbling over as I clenched my jaw.

“We will not discuss this further. I ask that you leave at your earliest convenience and take Lady Chinatsu with you. If you refuse to do so I will not be responsible for my mate's actions or my own. Am I making myself clear mother,” he asked as he stood a foot taller them, his aura itself bleeding anger and violence.

His mother sighed before she spoke, “Unfortunately I will concede this time.”

She and Lady Chinatsu left the room and I felt a chill make its way up and down my spine as they did so. Lady Chinatsu never lost her grin as she parted ways, as if she had won some great battle or found something really interesting but more in that cat and mouse way.

“Come Yasha, let us eat and appease our guests,” he said as he held out his arm to me.

Ryusei pushed me forward and I almost tripped but Sesshomaru caught my arm and steadied me. He turned and led us into the dining room. I had Ryusei at my other arm, sandwiched between two large Inu Youkai men; it must have been quite the sight.

I was lead to the head of the table where I sat on the left right hand side beside Sesshomaru, Ryusei sat to his left and there beside me on my left sat Chiuoka who was dressed up and enjoying a conversation with a lady from the tiger clan. The twins sat together near Ryusei and were behaving somewhat as they chattered together pointing discretely to various guests during their talk.

Food was served and everyone ate with gusto though I can't say I was able to really enjoy the food or its taste. Lady Chinatsu still at the forefront of mind with a nagging feeling I would be dealing with her before it was all said and done.

Sesshomaru passed me a glass of wine and I drained pretty quickly and before I could think about it he had refilled it once more.

My cheeks warmed and I lost count of how many glasses of sweet plum wine I had enjoyed. At some point most of the guests had retired to their rooms and I had lost sight of Sesshomaru. I remember him saying he would see to it that the twins were tucked into bed and that had to have been over an hour ago. I stumbled somewhat to the stairs and clung to walls so that I wouldn't tumble down as I traversed them. With effort and pure obstinacy I had made my way up the stairs and was walking towards my quarters when an all too familiar sound caught my attention.

I followed it clumsily until I came to stand at my brother's door. I leaned in and the sound of an effeminate gasp and moan filtered through and I felt anger boil over. I opened the door and walked in without a sound as I came to the bedroom doorway I could clearly hear Lady Chinatsu's moans and when I pushed the door open I could see her straddling Sesshomaru's lap as she bounced in place.

My breath was stolen as I watched them and I could feel my heart shatter. My vision blurred as hot tears made their way down my cheeks and then the sadness became something I had known my entire life…anger; hot flashing anger that oozed from every pore on my body. I could feel my claws flexing and my vision grew tunneled as a red haze came over me and then it all went dark.

To Be Continued….

YAY! Next chapter later this week…hopefully.

Thanks for reading~!!

Kat