InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Do What You Have to Do ❯ Chapter 20: That I don’t know how ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Do What You Have To Do
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 20: That I don't know how

The world around me was loud with talking and attempted hushed whispers and the air was permeated with the coppery and meaty smell of fresh death. I could feel that I was lying in someone's arms and I struggled to open my eyes, finding them heavy along with the rest of my body.

“Chichiue…can you hear me,” Ryusei's voice called next to my ear and I struggled to look at him. I opened my eyes taking in his worried expression which lightened some as I looked up at him. His face had a few scratches and I could smell the scent of his blood pouring fresh from his body.

I struggled to sit up and was finally assisted by the person behind me. I looked down at the arms that held me and saw a strong masculine hand with well manicured claws and it was then I noted the pale skin. I knew who it was before he spoke.

“Take care. You have been through much,” Sesshomaru's voice said by my ear.

And as his words sunk in I looked at the chaos all around us. Crimson blood splattered the walls, and the bed that had once been covered in cream colored sheets and blankets was now covered in red that was already beginning to dry into that rusty brown that only dried blood had; or at least what was left of the bed and mattress that had sat upon it. Mattress stuffing and feathers littered the room and many were covered in crimson and rust.

Against the far wall lay what remained of Lady Chinatsu, her expression frozen in permanent shock and fear with her lifeless golden eyes starring out at the room. As I continued glancing around the room I saw one of her dainty arms by the far side of the bed almost hidden and another lying atop the bed. I could see a few fingers missing from the hand lying on the floor and I wondered what had become of her body. I looked up and realized a window had been broken and saw the bloody paper and shattered wood surrounding it and I was pretty sure there in lay the answer as to where her body was.

I felt my breathing increase as I began to piece things together in my head and I made the mistake of looking down at my hands which were covered in blood and other things and I struggled to stand. Sesshomaru held me tight against him but I fought him as I felt the bile rise in my throat. He let go and I ran over to the chamber pot and emptied what little I had eaten that day and upon seeing crimson and chunks in the regurgitated bile I vomited more, as if trying to purge my body.

I continued until nothing but dry heaves were left and my entire body shook from the effort to remain standing. I felt a gentle hand massage my back and I struggled until I had my back to the wall so that I could look over the room and its inhabitants while panic and hysteria began to fill my mind.

“You are not to blame in this,” said Aoiyuki coming up beside me offering a warm damp towel.

As soon as I touched the white towel I stained it red so I hadn't bothered using it for my mouth or face I used it to roughly scrub the blood and gore from my hands, trying my hardest to remove flesh from under my nails and trying not to make myself ill again as I did so.

“Lady Chinatsu is…was very good at spells and poison. She used her poison to make those she used it on into her puppets. She plays dirty and this time she chose the wrong pair of youkai to play with. She deserved her death so feel no pity or sadness at her demise,” Aoiyuki said as she took the dirtied towel and handed me another damp one.

I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks and watched as they landed on the towel tinting it pink, letting me know blood covered my face as well.

“I…I don't remember any of it….,” I said as I felt myself falling apart from the inside out.

“It's okay Muttface. No one blames you. You're fine, your mate is fine and so are your children. Hell, you've gone and shown all the visitors that the Inu Youkai clan is not one to fuck with. I wouldn't be surprised if you have official documents asking to be allied with you after this,” Kouga tried to joke.

As he said it I realized that Tessaiga lay in my lap in its normal form, safe in its sheath and it was then I struggled to remember the last time I had seen my sword. As I wondered its whereabouts it then occurred to me why it was in my lap and why I had no memory after my vision had become hazy.

I looked down at my still bloody hands and it all fell into place.

I had once again lost control and my demon side had taken control. And as memories rolled through my head of the past times my demon had taken control I repeated Kouga's words softly to myself over and over again like a mantra of reassurance.

“Everyone is okay… everyone is okay…everyone is okay…”, but even as the words left my mouth I knew it was untrue. I wasn't okay. I was far from okay.

I slid to the floor and brought my knees up to my chest and fought the urge to rock back and forth as the urge to break down became overwhelming. A scream bubbled in my chest as I gripped my knees; claws digging into my own flesh and as I did so I stared down at my still crimson stained hands and my crimson covered clothes and feet and all control was lost as that scream tore from my throat.

I screamed and cried and sat there lost in all the pain, trauma and uncertainty I had experienced in my life time until I could make no sound and all my energy was once again drained.

I couldn't say how much time had passed, only that the only ones who remained in the room with me were Sesshomaru, Aoiyuki and surprisingly Kouga.

At some point I had collapsed onto my side as I stared out at the room and those remaining in it with no thoughts or emotions or sentiments left to give. For the first time in my life I was well and truly empty. I had given all I could and there was no more. I lay there silent and empty of tears wanting nothing more than to be somewhere else, anywhere else.

I watched as Aoiyuki approached and gently touched my head giving me a mixed look of pity and sorrow as she did so.

“My Lord, if you would be so kind as to lift him so that we can move him to my quarters,” she asked as she stood up grabbing Tessaiga as she did so and holding it close to her chest.

Kouga stood beside and looked down at me with not pity as much as sympathy.

“It seems you both have the situation under control. If you need me for anything just holler,” and he turned and left the room.

My view of the room was blocked by Sesshomaru's blood stained clothes and body as he easily lifted me into his arms and adjusted my body so that I was held closely against his chest with one arm behind my back and another under my knees. He walked and I felt the barest of movements and watched as the scenery passed by until we came to Aoiyuki's quarters. She opened the door and stepped inside leading the way for Sesshomaru as he followed behind.

She led him over to a wooden tub already filled with steaming hot water and a second beside it that was still in the process of being filled by servants who toiled by the fire place hanging fresh pots of water over the active flames.

I was sat on a stool and was treated like a child by the one I called mate as he undressed me gently before setting me in the first tub. I sat there in the water just staring at the goings on around me and said nothing; did nothing.

It hadn't taken long for him to take action. I watched as he pulled the stool over grabbing a sponge and a nearby bar of soap. He dunked the sponge into my bath water and began the arduous task of washing my body from head to toe with just water and the help of whatever herbs and oils that had been added to the tub prior to my entering it. He poured bucket after bucket of water over my head and still the water dripped pink.

I was eventually pulled from the first tub and set in the second one and this time he lathered the sponge in soap and gave my body one more good scrub. His efforts were rewarded as the water was only lightly tinged pink and not the bright red of the previous tubs water and the coppery smell of blood was somewhat dulled by the smell of lavender and rosemary.

While Sesshomaru scrubbed my body I felt a small pair of delicate hands gently massaging my hair and I was pulled into a sitting position in the middle of the tub so that water was once again poured over my head rinsing away suds. Once I was deemed clean by both Sesshomaru and Aoiyuki I was lifted from the tub and wrapped in a thick cloth and patted dry.

I said nothing, I did nothing and I forced myself to feel nothing.

I was dressed in clean robes and placed on a small couch. Aoiyuki offered me a cup that lightly steamed and I just stared at it until she gently took my hands wrapping them around it. I looked down at her hands and at the cup and lost myself in the pale green liquid.

“Drink Inu Yasha, you need to sooth your throat,” I heard Aoiyuki say as she knelt in front of me.

I did nothing and finally rough hands took away the cup and placed it to my lips. I felt my lower lip moved as the cups contents were gently tipped into my mouth. I swallowed a few sips and was given a moments respite before the cup returned. This was done again and again until the cup was drained. When it was drained it was refilled with a new liquid which I was also assisted in drinking. This one had a bitter taste followed by mint but I drank it without thought and with Sesshomaru's rough hands gently holding it to my mouth.

My hands clenched in a blanket that had been pulled over my body at some point. And with each swallow I felt a bone deep exhaustion begin to take hold of me.

When a third cup had been filled and then drained no other had been offered and as I sat there I felt the tears begin to build again as questions floated through my mind keeping me from the sleep my mind so wanted.

“What happened,” I asked almost too softly to be heard.

“I remember seeing to the twins and was about to return when I felt something on the back of my neck…”

I looked up and stared at the spot Sesshomaru indicated and saw a large deep purple bruising, it almost looked as though the flesh under the bruising had been eaten away by the poison or venom that had injected into his body.

“I remember feeling a horrible burning sensation and pulling a sharp little dart from my neck and as I turned around to see who would dare attack me I saw Chinatsu standing there with a large grin in place and then it all went dark.”

As Sesshomaru spoke his eyes held anger and bitterness and a deep look of regret.

“I awoke strapped down to the bed posts feeling weak as a newborn and she took full advantage. I remember lying there as she mounted me and the entire time she kept talking about herself and how she would make a wonderful mate and I just wanted to rip her head off…hers and mothers,” he said and as he said it the angrier he got and the more his voice dripped venom.

“I was stuck in my body witnessing what was happening but unable to stop it and then in between her prattling I heard the door open. I could see you from the corner of my eye and a killing aura filled the room and your scent changed.”

I looked up at as he looked down at his hands, “I had fought with you once before when your demon side had taken control so I knew what was happening but there was no way to stop it. I couldn't speak or move, only watch as you came barreling at us.”

He looked up then and made eye contact with me, “You grabbed her by her hair and threw her across the room causing her to slam into the far wall hard enough that she left an indent and she spat blood. You looked down at me and growled. I watched and waited for you to attack and instead you clawed at the bed tearing up the pillows in your wake as if letting me know you could have attacked, letting me know you were angry.”

I nodded slowly as he continued, “Chinatsu jumped up and came at you and without even looking at her you grabbed her arm and ripped it from the socket and dropped in on the bed and as she screamed and started clawing at your back with her other hand, scraping venom tipped nails down your arm and back you turned her and held her arm in place and proceeded to bite her fingers off, spitting them out as you did so. When you had taken a total of three fingers you grinned at her with that long fanged smile and she spit in your face.”

A flash of memory was starting to form and I could almost see what he described in my memories.

Aoiyuki sat down beside me and took in a great breath, “We heard her screams throughout the castle. The first to arrive in the room was Ryusei. He was probably the most sober out of the men in the castle. I happened to arrive a few moments after him.”

“Ryusei untied the ropes holding me down and Aoiyuki tried to talk to you but Chinatsu continued cursing you and saying she would kill you and then she threatened the children…” and as Sesshomaru said it I had another flashback and this time I saw my hand grab Chinatsu by her hair and then rip her head from her shoulders. I hurled her body at the window and the wooden and paper shutters shattered with the impact as her body fell through and out the window and I dropped the head onto the floor.

“You are primal when the demon form takes hold and you stared at her with pure hatred, especially when she looked at Ryusei saying he would die at her hands and then you grabbed her by her long hair and fisted it in your hands until it was wrapped around your hand a few times and with a strength we had no idea you possessed you ripped her head from its shoulders,” said Aoiyuki with a shudder, “Before anyone could move you hurled her body at the window and then unraveled her hair from your hand before dropping her head to the floor.”

“I was free from my bindings but not from your wrath and you came after me. I defended myself and tried to grab you a few times but your anger was still fueling your demon so I was merely fanning the fire,” Sesshomaru said aloud and as he did I saw a flash of my long claws slicing into his arm repeatedly, looking to take his arm as a prize.

“Your son is either brave, insane or stupid or perhaps all of the above. He grabbed you from behind and kept whispering that you were safe and she was gone and it was all okay. He did this while holding tight to you while you cried out, roared and growled; your claws scratching and tearing into his hands and arms,” and as Aoiyuki spoke you could hear her admiration for him and his actions.

“Your struggling stopped and your eyes began to look almost normal and he loosened his hold on you and we were all surprised when you turned and looked at his arms and hands and began whimpering,” and once more her words triggered a memory and I saw Ryusei's sad and confused look as I took his hands and started licking the blood from them, watching as some of the deeper cuts and scratches began to vanish and he patted my head saying `he was okay'.

“The crimson faded from your eyes and you held his hands in yours and then you collapsed and Ryusei caught you before you fell to the floor,” finished Aoiyuki.

My mind felt a little more at ease at the fact that my demon hadn't intended to harm Ryusei and was glad for it.

I was exhausted and the teas seemed to catch up to me as I sat there on the couch feeling the heaviness of what had happened. The stress was still there with so…many others and yet they seemed to just be back ground noise as sleep once again pulled me into its dark embrace.

To Be Continued….

THANK YOU ALL!!!! I LOVE your reviews. Coming home and seeing them or waking up and seeing them makes me horrible day in retail so…much better. I LOVE how into this story you all have gotten. Sorry it took so long. Starting on the next chapter tomorrow night because tomorrow I have the dreaded Jury Duty….. -_- yup…stuck in a room with strangers watching bad movies. Here's hoping I'm NOT chosen….

Well til next time.

Kat