InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Do What You Have to Do ❯ Chapter 30: Of Existing ( Chapter 30 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Title: Do What You Have To Do
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Do What You Have to Do" by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 30: Of Existing

I awoke before the sun was done rising and quickly made my way out of our wagon to relieve my aching and abused bladder. A small meal of rice porridge was prepared and served to everyone in our camp and once food had been served and eaten the task of breaking down camp began. I helped by rinsing off dishes and seeing to it that they were properly put away.

Once everything was packed away and our fire was put out, horses and mules were hooked to wagons after we saw to it that they were watered. Everyone climbed into or onto their respective wagons and Lord Pacchiri's men climbed onto their horses and we began moving once more. The sun had touched the sky in a brilliant and beautiful show of pinks, oranges and yellows and I enjoyed the image from the front of the wagon seated next to Hiroaki who had once again covered his face.

I was saddened to see him cover himself but I knew it was a necessary evil. It wouldn't do to have humans seeing a walking talking lion man.

Hiroaki looked away from the horses that pulled our wagon and gave me a questioning look, “Why so glum Shi…Yasha.”

I smiled at his slip of tongue, though mostly because he had given me a nickname already.

“Wishing the world was a better place,” I said giving him a smile.

“Well if anyone can help change it, it would be you.”

He offered me a fang filled grin which I returned, knocking into his shoulder playfully.

“I think you're giving me too much credit.”

He smiled and looked back at the road ahead of us,” And I think you give yourself too little.”

It was quiet as I bundled into my fur cloak and thick blanket beside Hiroaki watching the scenery pass us by. I listened to the winter bird's songs which occasionally would fly and flitter around us as if seeing who we were in their winter land on such a cold day.

Another hour passed and I noticed the songs of the winter birds suddenly ended. I felt an odd sense of dread fill me and I stiffened letting my ears swivel in search for what had caused the birds to end their song and an explanation for the sudden tension in the air.

I noted that Hiroaki had also stiffened and I heard him taking deep sniffs as if trying to scent the danger. I followed his lead and smelled nothing out of the ordinary. What ever was lurking in the deep woods was keeping itself well hidden even with half the leaves dead and covering the forest floor it somehow managed to stay hidden among the barren trees.

We weren't the only ones to notice the sudden change in atmosphere as the wagons evened their pace so that we were closer together and Lord Pacchiri's men spaced them selves out to one man at the end, two in the middle and one at the front of our odd caravan. My nerves were strung tight enough that even my unborn child halted their movement leaving me even more unnerved.

When the tension seemed almost palatable a soft howl echoed in the distance ahead of us. It was so soft and gentle and yet it caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. It rang out long and soft and echoed around us and when it ended only its echo seemed to continue on. It ended and the horses and mules seemed to spook but we spurred them on hoping to soon be out of this odd forest.

Another howl rent the air and then another and oddly enough excited barks joined in. It was then that I saw them, a small pack of wolves bounding over to us, not aggressively but almost playfully. They were various shades of black, grey, white and then there were the odd shades of red and brown. It was as if two packs had joined into one.

I watched as the wagons came to a stop and when I saw Lord Pacchiri's men reach for their swords I called out without a second thought, “STOP! Please wait.”

They all turned to stare at me and I held my hands up and watched as I had not only the eyes of Hiroaki and Lord Pacchiri's men but the wolves who yipped and barked at me happily wagging their tails as they did so, coming to prance in front of our wagon leaving stunned looks as heads leaned out of wagons watching as three youkai came racing out of the forest to join the pack of wolves that seemed so excited and pleased in finding us.

When the three saw our wagons they slowed down to a slow jog and finally a brisk walk. It was easy to see that they were Youkai and since they smelled of fur and the musk of wolf I was betting that they were the leaders of these overly excited wolves that seemed to get even more excited at seeing their approach.

The middle youkai was taller than me by half a foot or more with tanned skin and ebony hair pulled back in a tight pony tail and kept further back with a fur and leather lined headband which seemed to match the rest of his ensemble that included fur leggings that went knee high, fur that wrapped around his waist, wrists and lay atop his shoulder pads leaving his chest covered by black and silver armor and a long brown tail trailing behind him. His eyes were a beautiful shade of cerulean blue that seemed to stand out amid all the darker colors of his clothing and skin tone.

On his left side stood a wolf youkai with an almost shaved head, sporting a white mohawk in armor of a deep pine green with a chain slung over his shoulder with furs auburn in color and only wrapped around his waist and legs. On his right side was another wolf youkai sporting charcoal gray hair with an almost black skunk stripe through the middle wearing chest armor a deep maroon with a brown furred vest over it that matched his leggings and waist.

As they approached their wolves grew louder, a few running back and forth between us and them until finally they looked up as they approached and I saw that all of them looked quite surprised as they stared at me. I saw that surprise become happiness as the middle man grinned and approached us with his hands held in front of him in a peaceful gesture.

“You've had us worried sick you dumb mutt. Where the hell have you been,” and as the words were spoken I felt Hirokaki tense beside me.

Before he could react or speak I put my hand on his shoulder quieting him and I stood up and it was then that their eyes immediately fell to my rounded belly and I could see the leaders cerulean eyes widen momentarily before he shook his head.

“Are you out of your mind?! Why would you come back here carrying someone else's pup? Sesshomaru is going to lose it when he sees you! Oh man! You can never do things the easy way can you?!”

I blinked down at this wolf youkai on the verge of a mental breakdown and couldn't help but laugh which brought him to a stop while he looked up at me wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

“Lord Kouga you should probably stop there,” and both the wolf and I turned to our left to see Lord Pacchiri exit out of his wagon approaching us with his usual large smile in place.

“Pacchiri, why are you with him? What in the world is going on?”

The expression on the wolf youkai's face was the most amusing thing I had seen in a long time but I couldn't fault him for his confusion, I felt much the same and had for the last few months.

“Our dearest InuYasha suffered a severe head injury while he was away on his sabbatical and his memory is only just beginning to return.”

I watched as this Lord Kouga turned to look at me and I saw some of the hysteria and confusion leave his face, if only a little bit.

“Like I said, you can never do things the easy way,” he sighed and rubbed at his temples looking us over.

I smiled and shrugged, “I suppose I make things interesting.”

“Oh, you have no idea.”

I smiled at his words and it was then that Lord Pacchiri came to stand in front of me, “Come InuYasha, let us convene in my wagon and converse with the Wolf Prince Kouga and we can partake of some tea and sweets while we fill him in on your journey.”

I nodded and Lord Pacchiri helped me down from my seat beside Hiroaki and we walked towards his wagon with the cerulean eyed wolf prince.

“Ginta! Hakaku! Head back to the caves and call off the search. I'll return in a day or two,” and then he paused and looked at Lord Pacchiri as he asked his next question, “Please tell me you've sent some sort of missive to Sesshomaru…”

Lord Pacchiri grinned and nodded, “How cruel of you to think I wouldn't do so,” grabbing his chest in mock pain.

The wolf youkai rolled his eyes and almost growled his reply, “We all know you enjoy your fun and games, I just wanted to make sure you were smart enough to not make this into such a thing.”

As we came to the carriage I watched Lord Pacchiri enter and then turn to offer me his hand so that I could enter without falling. Once I was in the carriage he stood aside and allowed the one called Kouga to enter.

“Why do you seem so panicked about this Wolf Prince? What do you know that neither I nor our precious InuYasha know?”

I sat down on an offered cushion next to Lady Amira who seemed a tad bit nervous at her mate's question. It was quiet for a moment, the only sound being that of the steaming cups of tea being set in front of myself and then in the two places that were currently being sat in by both Kouga and Lord Pacchiri.

I watched as Kouga ran a hand through his messy ebony black bangs before sighing and looking directly at me and frowning. I don't know what he saw as he looked at me and into my eyes but it didn't seem to ease any of his worries.

“What do you remember of your mate…if anything at all,” and as he asked I felt the weight of his gaze and I knew he wanted the dark and light, happy and sad; he wanted a truth I couldn't fully provide.

I gripped my cup as I thought about how to best answer.

“What you say now stays between us. I vow that not a word of what is said shall leave this carriage without your permission. I want you to speak freely,” at his words I looked up into Lord Pacchiri's eyes finding none of his playfulness and instead he was as serious as the newcomer.

“I swear on my children's lives,” Lady Amira said as she gently laid her hand over my clenched right hand where it sat beside my warm tea cup.

I closed my eyes and the wagon jerked as we started moving once more as I nodded opening my eyes once more seeing all eyes on me.

“I cannot say if the one in my memories and dreams is this mate…this Sesshomaru you speak of…”

“Can you describe him,” asked Lady Amira.

“He's taller than me and we almost look alike except he's not a hanyou, he's got the pointed ears and red stripes along high cheekbones and an indigo crescent moon in the middle of his forehead.”

I saw the looks of confirmation and then followed by nods.

“Sounds like Sesshomaru,” both Kouga and Lord Pacchiri said at the same time.

“In some of my memories he's cruel, intentionally so. Cruel words and actions and the looks in his eyes is almost hatred if not something deeper.”

I took a sip of my tea and remembered his gentle hands and how he had worshipped my body and I felt myself confused.

“And in other memories it's as if I am something treasured and cared for like a proper mate.”

I sat there lost in memories and wondered how someone could be so different in all of my memories.

“Lord Kouga,” it was said in a way that meant Lord Pacchiri was expecting him to tell what he knew.

“I've know mutfface…InuYasha a long time…Hell! We fought as much as we talked. I was there when he went into labor with his first son. He was petrified of Sesshomaru finding him. I'll admit…I helped him avoid his brother that day. It was years later when I happened to feel old high and mighty's energy in my territory and I happened upon the ass beating InuYasha in front of his son. I'm not saying he had set out to purposely attack InuYasha…just with InuYasha being in heat with a pup at his side seemed to bring his inner youkai to the surface and it was pissed.”

Lord Pacchiri frowned and felt myself shiver at the description.

“I'm not good at thinking on my feet but I managed to taunt him into marking InuYasha that day. I didn't watch the proceedings and only came to check on him afterwards. He was hurt pretty badly but he was now more than a pup factory.”

“I never figured Sesshomaru to be so cruel to his own mate,” Lady Amira commented clearly surprised and slightly disgusted.

“I saw InuYasha at the New Years Eve gatherings just like you two did though it seemed he never stayed long and Sesshomaru seemed to keep him on a short leash and was especially displeased with my attention on his mate and he only let up when I had mated Ayame.”

It grew quiet and I could feel the tension grow and I felt so lost. Part of me wanted my memories back and part of me didn't.

Was it a blessing that I had forgotten my life from before? Would I have been able to live free and start a new life? But then again as I thought back to memories of my son and hearing about the other children I had bore I felt a piece of me would be unable to simply leave and walk away from the lives that I had carried in my body and now my heart.

“I can say that though I have seen you go through some horrible things you actually looked happy the last few times I visited. The way you two stared at each other, the glances across the room and the heated looks when you were near one another gave…no gives me hope that you were happy and will be again.”

Lord Pacchiri nodded and grinned once more, “That is true; I have also witnessed the two of you acting like pups in season. So lost in one another you'd often forget others were around.”

“Not to mention, one cannot make amends if they have no one to make amends to. He owes you InuYasha and if he doesn't do right by you I believe you have to only contact us.”

“That is right my dearest,” and as Lord Pacchiri replied to his mates words his eyes held hers and you knew they truly loved one another deeply.

“Not just them, you have me, the demon hunter and her husband the monk and I'm pretty sure the big kitty you were seated next to as well as the others you've befriended on your journeys,” and as I looked into Kouga's cerulean blue eyes I knew he was and is a friend.

“So how long do you think it will take to make it to this Sesshomaru's castle,” and as I asked Kouga crossed his arms.

“I'd say maybe another few more hours. I've been patrolling your old haunts which are between my territory and his. I couldn't go too far since Ayame is expecting my third cub,” Kouga said as way of explanation.

“Congratulations Lord Kouga,” we all replied.

He shook his head, “You have got to stop calling me that muttface…it weirds me out; memory or no memory. Kouga is good enough.”

I grinned at him, “I could just call you smelly wolf.”

At that his grin widened, “Oh, and then I would have to call you dog breath.”

“Then you're mangy wolf.”

I sipped from my tea cup again finishing my now cold tea and just as Kouga was about to say something the wagon came to a sudden stop. I watched as Lord Pacchiri stood up and went to the wagons door. He opened it and stepped out as an immense aura and energy filled the area almost making the air hard to breathe. I stood up and felt my child squirming and moving almost excitedly and happily at feeling the energy. I felt drawn to it and when Kouga left through the wagon door I followed even though Lady Amira called after me.

Outside stood one of the oddest sights I was sure I had ever seen.

There stood a large white dog larger than our wagons in the air above us. I watched as it gently touched down before our band of wagons and turned its large crimson eyes to look down at me and as it did so I took note of the indigo crescent moon in the middle of its forehead.

The dog youkai whined and began to shrink as it approached and then the dog was gone and instead in its place stood the tall intimidating figure I had seen so many times in my memories and dreams. He was dressed in fine garments with silver and gold stitching, his hair finely combed and clean with fur lining his beautiful hakama.

He came to stand a few feet from me and I felt like I didn't belong breathing the same air let alone standing before this youkai in my pale orange kimono with its worn and frayed sleeves, my hair unkempt and messy as it fell down my back and my belly pushing up and into the material which stretched across it.

His eyes bore into mine and I fidgeted and out of nervous habit wrapped my arms around my noticeable bump bringing his eyes to it before he looked up into my eyes once more.

“InuYasha…”

To Be Continued…

Sorry for the evil cliffy. Thank you ALL for the amazing reviews. When I'm done this story I'm going to go back over it and fix all the mistakes grammar and spelling wise and repost chapters.

Well Goodnight all~! More to come soon.

Kat