InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Drowning ❯ chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: ll kocoum ll 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Romance / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.08.2005 | Updated On: 06.16.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 879 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Romance / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.08.2005 | Updated On: 06.16.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 2.5K | Visits: 879 | Status: Completed
Drowning
___________________
The coolness washed over her body, her face, and even though she was embraced in frigid, serene arms, she burned all over. Her eyelids burned and slowly she opened them, chocolate orbs staring into the cerulean abyss of the deep lake. Her arms wavered along with the current, her raven hair turned ebony black as it floated around her face. Her skin paled and looked almost like marble. And as calming as it seemed to stay submerged in the water, there was a slight rage building inside. Full lips parted and small air bubbles escaped, rapidly floating to the surface. Soon, she’d have to resurface to breathe; her chest tightened and the numbing tingles began to crawl up her toes. She curled and uncurled her toes, staring at them with slight fascination.
‘Down here… I can fly… and I can drown’ Kagome mused as she began to kick her way up to the surface, flapping her arms to alleviate the pressure building in her chest.
Sputtering water and quickly wiping the water away from her eyes, she steadied her breathing, still waving her arms in the water while she used her leg muscles to remain floating. Lowering her head down just a little, her nose and eyes still lingered above the water. Events from earlier that evening had her wince and dive down again, attempting to find comfort in a remote embrace.
‘He… he’s changed, Kagome… you’ve noticed.’ Again she flinched at the thought of him. ‘He’ll come looking for you, as always, and maybe he’ll just…’
‘Don’t… don’t say it. He won’t… he promised…’
‘You saw him, Kagome. Has it ever occurred to you that he could just leave you because–’
‘But he needs me… and I need him to…’ She replied, attempting to fool herself into believing that he really did need her. That credence was quickly crushed when her mind continued.
‘Because he has her… and he needs to…’Her mind continued, urging her to finish the sentence.
Tears welled up, and even though she knew she wouldn’t feel them, she did acknowledge that the tears were there, surrounding her amongst the water’s current.
The burning in her chest began again; not only from lack of oxygen, but also because of the distraught state she was bringing herself to. She resurfaced again, wiping the hair away from her face with her palms and fingers as she took deep pants of air. Reasoning with herself she would drown if she started crying. With a sigh, she propelled herself towards land.
“I… I can’t just walk away from her and pretend that I don’t owe her anything… she died because of me.” Inu Yasha stated calmly while the monk stared at him, ready to give him another one of his lectures or words of wisdom.
“And maybe it’s just me, Inu Yasha, but have you noticed Kagome?” Miroku questioned, a pensive expression marred his calmed face.
She watched as Inu Yasha glanced back at the monk. “Yeah, so what of it? She ain’t Kikyo, she ain’t only Kikyo’s reincarnation. She’s just Kagome.”
“Exactly, my smart, smart friend.” Miroku replied as he shut his eyes, leaning his head back against the tree.
“That didn’t make any damn sense, you idiot.” The hanyou snorted as he locked his gaze on a blade of grass.
“Kikyo died fifty years ago, the woman that walks around and takes the image of Kikyo is only animated by anger and dead souls… Kagome is real, she is alive.” Miroku remarked and took a deep breath afterwards.
“Keh.”
“What I’m trying to say, Inu Yasha, is don’t forget about what’s right in front of you. You may not see it, but others do.”
“What the fuck are --- ”
“Dammit…” He muttered as his patience wore off, “Kikyo is dead, Inu Yasha, go with Kagome.”
“I know she’s dead, you asshole! She’s dead because of me! I owe her this!” he snarled as he hopped up from his perch against the tree and stormed off into the woods.
Kagome clutched onto the small, pink glowing orb hanging from her neck as she wadded into the shallow waters. Finally complete, and still… She hated the jewel. She hated the Shikon no tama. So many lives lost just to achieve a simple wish, a gain for power, corruption, and now, it was in her hands. Sango had lost her brother, Kohaku, her whole entire village and family. Miroku wasn’t as badly affected, but still, he had to collect the shards in order to hunt down Naraku, who had increased his evil with the shards. Shippou had lost his father because of a shard and the greed of other youkais, the thunder brothers.
Inu Yasha had lost the most to the shikon no tama. Because of the jewel, it led him to Kikyo, and because of the jewel, she died. He had lost fifty years of his life pinned to the Goshinboku tree, the God tree, and along with those fifty years, he had lost the ability to trust.
Kagome stared at the jewel, wanting so much just to destroy it, to destroy the object that had created this destruction. Closing her eyes and calming herself, she cradled the jewel in her palms, holding it close to her heart. Without the jewel, she wouldn’t have met Inu Yasha. She wouldn’t have met Shippou, Miroku, Sango and Kaede if she didn’t have the jewel, or she hadn’t shattered it.
And everything was connected to Inu Yasha. Her mind flitted back to him, as if she couldn’t think of something without thinking of him. The jewel was complete, Naraku was destroyed, and now what?
“I know she’s dead, you asshole! She’s dead because of me! I owe her this!” he snarled as he hopped up from his perch against the tree and stormed off into the woods.
He was going…
Her nose tingled and the corners of her vision began to blur.
He was going…
Her grasp tightened as she willed herself to move, to move before she decided to sit in the water and cry all day.
He was going…
A small whimper escaped her lips as she forced herself to clothe her body. She would not cry naked and vulnerable.
He was going with her.
Her small form crumpled, and she wrapped her arms around her legs as she rested her eyes against her knees, crying like a child.
‘He’s leaving me? But I thought he--- ”
‘What, Kagome? Loved you?’
She didn’t dare answer back.
‘Kagome… he lives in his own different world, and you in yours… go back, where you belong.’
‘Why did he choose her?’ she cried angrily
‘Would it be so nice if she just stayed dead?’
‘No… don’t say that…’
‘I’m you, Kagome. You’re thinking this up… I’d want her to stay where she was before---’
“Stop!” She screamed aloud, “Just stop… am I so ugly inside?”
Her sniffling grew weak and she simply sat there, her tear stained face becoming sticky against her knees. Lifting her face, her heart jumped when she saw him. He stood there, about a few feet away from her, staring at her like a child would stare at an animal. Not knowing what to do, brows furrowed in slight confusion but eyes filled with obvious interest and curiosity; just watching.
“I told you I’d be back soon.” She mumbled, hiding her face behind her drawn up knees.
He stared at her, not making any movement, and finally, let out a loud breath.
“Why didn’t you come back after your bath?” he question, slowly stalking towards her, “You know it’s dangerous to be out here. Especially with the jewel.”
“I know.” she answered softly. “I know how important the jewel is to you.”
Her remark brought him to a halt, his brows knitting as he stared at the crouching girl.
“Of course it’s important.” He replied, flinching as the girl gave a deep, long sigh, her shoulders heaving and drooping lower.
“Then you can have it.” She mumbled, clutching the pink jewel, refusing to meet his eyes.
“Kagome, wh--- ”
“You can have it, Inu Yasha. It’s complete, I’m useless.” Closing her eyes, the image of him just standing there formed in her head.
“Why were you crying?” he inquired gruffly, although there was still a lingering trace of softness to his tone.
“Don’t you have somewhere to go, Inu Yasha?” she answered with a question, “Don’t you have to pay someone back?”
“What the fuck’s gotten into you?” he snapped, his patience wearing thin and concern overriding his emotions.
Ever so slowly, she stood up, wavering slightly, her steps sluggish as she approached him. His ears twitched, noting that her breathing and heartbeat were steady, she wasn’t sick from what he could tell by her scent…
Reaching out to him, her bangs shadowed her eyes, her palm resting against his heart, the other holding on to his hand. She gave a soft smile as she tip-toed and placed her lips against his. The kiss itself wasn’t passionate, unlike what her friends had giggled and constantly gossiped over, it wasn’t those kisses that made you all hot and tingly. It did make her a little light headed, but it was just simply placing her lips against his, innocent, chaste… and still, to her, it seemed like time had stood still, just for a moment…
And she took off running.
The kiss had shocked him, especially while Kagome had been in such a state… she had seemed different ever since Naraku’s demise… three long years had changed her. The feel of her soft lips pressed against his made his heart beat faster, his eyes widen and his breathing hitched. The abruptness of her lips being ripped away from his and her form disappearing into the forest brought his senses back.
That’s when he realized she had placed something in his palms, the kiss to distract him.
“You can have it, Inu Yasha. It’s complete, I’m useless.”
The Shikon no tama… she had left it with him.
“Don’t you have somewhere to go, Inu Yasha?” she answered with a question, “Don’t you have to pay someone back?”
Realization hit him.
“I know she’s dead, you asshole! She’s dead because of me! I owe her this!”
She knew.
“I… I can’t just walk away from her and pretend that I don’t owe her anything… she died because of me.”
“Kagome… Fuck!” he snarled, and for once, he forgot about the jewel.
“Yeah, so what of it? She ain’t Kikyo, she ain’t only Kikyo’s reincarnation. She’s just Kagome.”
He hadn’t seen it before, but he realized recently. She was simply Kagome, the girl who had freed him, the girl who showed him how to trust, the girl that took care of him, that befriended him, that made him laugh… made him everything he was… and the girl was suddenly the woman he wanted to love… wanted to show his love.
“Don’t you have somewhere to go, Inu Yasha?” she answered with a question, “Don’t you have to pay someone back?”
And everything was just complicated right now.
___________________
It didn’t matter… why didn’t it matter?
“You can have it, Inu Yasha. It’s complete, I’m useless.”
Holding back the tears that threatened to spill, her vision blurred and she found it suddenly hard to even walk towards the well. She had memorized the forest, knowing where every tree stood, where every rock lay in place; if she were to sleep walk, she’d get through Inu Yasha’s forest without a scratch.
“Don’t you have somewhere to go, Inu Yasha?” she answered with a question, “Don’t you have to pay someone back?”
It was true. He was going with Kikyo, he had no use for her. He completed his task.
‘The truth hurts, Kagome… just go home and try to forget abou--- ’
“I can’t forget!” she cried, failing to hold back the emotions, the wetness that seeped out of her eyes and slid down her cheeks. “I can’t!”
And suddenly, she found herself looking down the well.
‘And tell me, how am I going to get home?’ She sniffled as she smashed her palms against her eyes and tried to rub away the lingering traces of her small outburst.
‘You gave him the jewel, baka.’
She gave another small sob.
‘I can’t stay here… I can’t stay here when he’s so near… I--- ’
Sliding down against the well, she sat, and wrapped her arms around her legs once more.
“I love him, and I can’t... be with him.”
___________________
___________________
The coolness washed over her body, her face, and even though she was embraced in frigid, serene arms, she burned all over. Her eyelids burned and slowly she opened them, chocolate orbs staring into the cerulean abyss of the deep lake. Her arms wavered along with the current, her raven hair turned ebony black as it floated around her face. Her skin paled and looked almost like marble. And as calming as it seemed to stay submerged in the water, there was a slight rage building inside. Full lips parted and small air bubbles escaped, rapidly floating to the surface. Soon, she’d have to resurface to breathe; her chest tightened and the numbing tingles began to crawl up her toes. She curled and uncurled her toes, staring at them with slight fascination.
‘Down here… I can fly… and I can drown’ Kagome mused as she began to kick her way up to the surface, flapping her arms to alleviate the pressure building in her chest.
Sputtering water and quickly wiping the water away from her eyes, she steadied her breathing, still waving her arms in the water while she used her leg muscles to remain floating. Lowering her head down just a little, her nose and eyes still lingered above the water. Events from earlier that evening had her wince and dive down again, attempting to find comfort in a remote embrace.
‘He… he’s changed, Kagome… you’ve noticed.’ Again she flinched at the thought of him. ‘He’ll come looking for you, as always, and maybe he’ll just…’
‘Don’t… don’t say it. He won’t… he promised…’
‘You saw him, Kagome. Has it ever occurred to you that he could just leave you because–’
‘But he needs me… and I need him to…’ She replied, attempting to fool herself into believing that he really did need her. That credence was quickly crushed when her mind continued.
‘Because he has her… and he needs to…’Her mind continued, urging her to finish the sentence.
Tears welled up, and even though she knew she wouldn’t feel them, she did acknowledge that the tears were there, surrounding her amongst the water’s current.
The burning in her chest began again; not only from lack of oxygen, but also because of the distraught state she was bringing herself to. She resurfaced again, wiping the hair away from her face with her palms and fingers as she took deep pants of air. Reasoning with herself she would drown if she started crying. With a sigh, she propelled herself towards land.
“I… I can’t just walk away from her and pretend that I don’t owe her anything… she died because of me.” Inu Yasha stated calmly while the monk stared at him, ready to give him another one of his lectures or words of wisdom.
“And maybe it’s just me, Inu Yasha, but have you noticed Kagome?” Miroku questioned, a pensive expression marred his calmed face.
She watched as Inu Yasha glanced back at the monk. “Yeah, so what of it? She ain’t Kikyo, she ain’t only Kikyo’s reincarnation. She’s just Kagome.”
“Exactly, my smart, smart friend.” Miroku replied as he shut his eyes, leaning his head back against the tree.
“That didn’t make any damn sense, you idiot.” The hanyou snorted as he locked his gaze on a blade of grass.
“Kikyo died fifty years ago, the woman that walks around and takes the image of Kikyo is only animated by anger and dead souls… Kagome is real, she is alive.” Miroku remarked and took a deep breath afterwards.
“Keh.”
“What I’m trying to say, Inu Yasha, is don’t forget about what’s right in front of you. You may not see it, but others do.”
“What the fuck are --- ”
“Dammit…” He muttered as his patience wore off, “Kikyo is dead, Inu Yasha, go with Kagome.”
“I know she’s dead, you asshole! She’s dead because of me! I owe her this!” he snarled as he hopped up from his perch against the tree and stormed off into the woods.
Kagome clutched onto the small, pink glowing orb hanging from her neck as she wadded into the shallow waters. Finally complete, and still… She hated the jewel. She hated the Shikon no tama. So many lives lost just to achieve a simple wish, a gain for power, corruption, and now, it was in her hands. Sango had lost her brother, Kohaku, her whole entire village and family. Miroku wasn’t as badly affected, but still, he had to collect the shards in order to hunt down Naraku, who had increased his evil with the shards. Shippou had lost his father because of a shard and the greed of other youkais, the thunder brothers.
Inu Yasha had lost the most to the shikon no tama. Because of the jewel, it led him to Kikyo, and because of the jewel, she died. He had lost fifty years of his life pinned to the Goshinboku tree, the God tree, and along with those fifty years, he had lost the ability to trust.
Kagome stared at the jewel, wanting so much just to destroy it, to destroy the object that had created this destruction. Closing her eyes and calming herself, she cradled the jewel in her palms, holding it close to her heart. Without the jewel, she wouldn’t have met Inu Yasha. She wouldn’t have met Shippou, Miroku, Sango and Kaede if she didn’t have the jewel, or she hadn’t shattered it.
And everything was connected to Inu Yasha. Her mind flitted back to him, as if she couldn’t think of something without thinking of him. The jewel was complete, Naraku was destroyed, and now what?
“I know she’s dead, you asshole! She’s dead because of me! I owe her this!” he snarled as he hopped up from his perch against the tree and stormed off into the woods.
He was going…
Her nose tingled and the corners of her vision began to blur.
He was going…
Her grasp tightened as she willed herself to move, to move before she decided to sit in the water and cry all day.
He was going…
A small whimper escaped her lips as she forced herself to clothe her body. She would not cry naked and vulnerable.
He was going with her.
Her small form crumpled, and she wrapped her arms around her legs as she rested her eyes against her knees, crying like a child.
‘He’s leaving me? But I thought he--- ”
‘What, Kagome? Loved you?’
She didn’t dare answer back.
‘Kagome… he lives in his own different world, and you in yours… go back, where you belong.’
‘Why did he choose her?’ she cried angrily
‘Would it be so nice if she just stayed dead?’
‘No… don’t say that…’
‘I’m you, Kagome. You’re thinking this up… I’d want her to stay where she was before---’
“Stop!” She screamed aloud, “Just stop… am I so ugly inside?”
Her sniffling grew weak and she simply sat there, her tear stained face becoming sticky against her knees. Lifting her face, her heart jumped when she saw him. He stood there, about a few feet away from her, staring at her like a child would stare at an animal. Not knowing what to do, brows furrowed in slight confusion but eyes filled with obvious interest and curiosity; just watching.
“I told you I’d be back soon.” She mumbled, hiding her face behind her drawn up knees.
He stared at her, not making any movement, and finally, let out a loud breath.
“Why didn’t you come back after your bath?” he question, slowly stalking towards her, “You know it’s dangerous to be out here. Especially with the jewel.”
“I know.” she answered softly. “I know how important the jewel is to you.”
Her remark brought him to a halt, his brows knitting as he stared at the crouching girl.
“Of course it’s important.” He replied, flinching as the girl gave a deep, long sigh, her shoulders heaving and drooping lower.
“Then you can have it.” She mumbled, clutching the pink jewel, refusing to meet his eyes.
“Kagome, wh--- ”
“You can have it, Inu Yasha. It’s complete, I’m useless.” Closing her eyes, the image of him just standing there formed in her head.
“Why were you crying?” he inquired gruffly, although there was still a lingering trace of softness to his tone.
“Don’t you have somewhere to go, Inu Yasha?” she answered with a question, “Don’t you have to pay someone back?”
“What the fuck’s gotten into you?” he snapped, his patience wearing thin and concern overriding his emotions.
Ever so slowly, she stood up, wavering slightly, her steps sluggish as she approached him. His ears twitched, noting that her breathing and heartbeat were steady, she wasn’t sick from what he could tell by her scent…
Reaching out to him, her bangs shadowed her eyes, her palm resting against his heart, the other holding on to his hand. She gave a soft smile as she tip-toed and placed her lips against his. The kiss itself wasn’t passionate, unlike what her friends had giggled and constantly gossiped over, it wasn’t those kisses that made you all hot and tingly. It did make her a little light headed, but it was just simply placing her lips against his, innocent, chaste… and still, to her, it seemed like time had stood still, just for a moment…
And she took off running.
The kiss had shocked him, especially while Kagome had been in such a state… she had seemed different ever since Naraku’s demise… three long years had changed her. The feel of her soft lips pressed against his made his heart beat faster, his eyes widen and his breathing hitched. The abruptness of her lips being ripped away from his and her form disappearing into the forest brought his senses back.
That’s when he realized she had placed something in his palms, the kiss to distract him.
“You can have it, Inu Yasha. It’s complete, I’m useless.”
The Shikon no tama… she had left it with him.
“Don’t you have somewhere to go, Inu Yasha?” she answered with a question, “Don’t you have to pay someone back?”
Realization hit him.
“I know she’s dead, you asshole! She’s dead because of me! I owe her this!”
She knew.
“I… I can’t just walk away from her and pretend that I don’t owe her anything… she died because of me.”
“Kagome… Fuck!” he snarled, and for once, he forgot about the jewel.
“Yeah, so what of it? She ain’t Kikyo, she ain’t only Kikyo’s reincarnation. She’s just Kagome.”
He hadn’t seen it before, but he realized recently. She was simply Kagome, the girl who had freed him, the girl who showed him how to trust, the girl that took care of him, that befriended him, that made him laugh… made him everything he was… and the girl was suddenly the woman he wanted to love… wanted to show his love.
“Don’t you have somewhere to go, Inu Yasha?” she answered with a question, “Don’t you have to pay someone back?”
And everything was just complicated right now.
___________________
It didn’t matter… why didn’t it matter?
“You can have it, Inu Yasha. It’s complete, I’m useless.”
Holding back the tears that threatened to spill, her vision blurred and she found it suddenly hard to even walk towards the well. She had memorized the forest, knowing where every tree stood, where every rock lay in place; if she were to sleep walk, she’d get through Inu Yasha’s forest without a scratch.
“Don’t you have somewhere to go, Inu Yasha?” she answered with a question, “Don’t you have to pay someone back?”
It was true. He was going with Kikyo, he had no use for her. He completed his task.
‘The truth hurts, Kagome… just go home and try to forget abou--- ’
“I can’t forget!” she cried, failing to hold back the emotions, the wetness that seeped out of her eyes and slid down her cheeks. “I can’t!”
And suddenly, she found herself looking down the well.
‘And tell me, how am I going to get home?’ She sniffled as she smashed her palms against her eyes and tried to rub away the lingering traces of her small outburst.
‘You gave him the jewel, baka.’
She gave another small sob.
‘I can’t stay here… I can’t stay here when he’s so near… I--- ’
Sliding down against the well, she sat, and wrapped her arms around her legs once more.
“I love him, and I can’t... be with him.”
___________________
[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][] [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][ ][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
~:~:~: ~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
A/n: alright… I do believe my first fanfiction sucks… and so, I shall attempt to create a new one! Darn! [bangs head against wall] I hate myself. I will never, ever update this until a bigillion years have passed… forgive me.
Discalimer: I really don’t own them. Really! Don’t believe me? Well then… ninjas, attack! >:D
~:~:~: ~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
A/n: alright… I do believe my first fanfiction sucks… and so, I shall attempt to create a new one! Darn! [bangs head against wall] I hate myself. I will never, ever update this until a bigillion years have passed… forgive me.
Discalimer: I really don’t own them. Really! Don’t believe me? Well then… ninjas, attack! >:D