InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Enlightenment ❯ Chapter 12 ( Chapter 12 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 12

Kagome couldn't think… couldn't breathe… couldn't hold back the tears that were streaming down her pale face. All she wanted to do was get home where she could think about everything clearly. She wiped her face with the back of her hand as she willed herself to focus on the road.

“You're nothing but a mere copy of me. That's why he married you.”

She put the car on park when she finally made it home. Kikyou's voice seemed to keep ringing in her ears and she couldn't get rid of it. Everything was just so… so… she needed an aspirin. She could barely keep her hand steady just to unlock her front door.

“You're nothing but a mere copy of me. That's why he married you.”

Has everything she's ever had with Inuyasha a lie? Everything she'd ever experienced, shared with him… was all of that a lie too? She accepted the fact that after a year and a half of marriage that he had grown tired of her, but it was just too much to think that the person that she once loved with her whole heart and soul, had not felt the same way about her. Ever. Her first boyfriend… first kiss… first love… first lover… first husband… It was just too much to think how he had been dishonest with her from the very beginning. Did he even love her at any point in their relationship? Why was it that even until now, he was still able to hurt her?

She couldn't help it any longer as her sobs echoed through the house. Her tears obscured her vision as she staggered up the stairs to her bedroom. All this time she thought that she had lost her husband to another woman, in reality he was never hers to begin with. Why hadn't anyone told her about Kikyou? Why hadn't her dearest and closest friends Sango and Miroku said anything before she married the bastard! Sheer anger and fury were quickly replacing her sadness.

“I'm such a fool! I admit it Inuyasha! I'm the biggest fool that you'll ever meet!”

She knew that he couldn't hear her even with his incredible hearing, but she couldn't care less. All she could think about was even now that they were separated, he was still able to hurt her. How could one person be the cause of so much pain?

Kagome made her way to her bedroom and stopped in front of her dresser mirror. Once again Kikyou's words echoed in her mind at the sight of her reflection. A trembling hand made its way to her face and traced the curves of her cheek. They did look so much alike. That's why Inuyasha married her. He often told her that she was beautiful but just whom was he really saying that to? Who was he reciting his marriage vows to? Who was he kissing every time they kissed? Who was he saying all those `I love you' s to? Kikyou's voice and her reflection made it clear that it was not her whom her husband had been married to. He just used her. She let out a shrill scream as a flower vase shattered her reflection into pieces.

For a moment she felt a bit better. No wonder Inuyasha always felt better after smashing a few things. Kagome stepped to her bed and sat down once she felt the mattress hit the back of her legs. She felt numb. She didn't know what else to think of her situation other than the fact that she had been nothing more than a substitute, a stand in. This was an even more terrible feeling than the time of her divorce.

She had a lot of people to clear things up with. Namely Sango and Miroku. She wanted to ask them why, after all these years, they never spoke about Kikyou and Inuyasha. After all the times she confided in Sango about her insecurities, Sango never once mentioned Kikyou and Inuyasha's history together. As for Inuyasha… she's had enough of him.

“I'm not going to ask him about anything… I won't even tell him that I know about his secret. There's no explanation in the world that he could give me that could ever justify his mistake…” she mumbled.

She wanted absolutely nothing to do with him but she knew very well that it was impossible. She groaned as her anger and confusion was replaced with frustration. What did she ever do to deserve this? What had she ever done to deserve to cross paths with a man such as Inuyasha Takahashi?

There was only one way to forget about all this. Even if it was only for a couple of hours, she needed a distraction. Maybe she should go to the office for a while and finish up some of her projects early? That should do it. It never did anyone any good to just sit around and feel sorry for them selves. She learned that much after her endless nights of torture for a whole year during Inuyasha's affair. The new and improved Kagome Higurashi is not the naïve little girl that she once was. She was going to remain strong and not let this get to her because she had her own life now. Now where was her cell phone…?

As if on queue, her home phone rang that almost had her jumping out of her skin. She really didn't feel like talking to anyone right now so she waited until her answering machine picked up. She feared that it might be Inuyasha calling because she left so suddenly after dropping Tai and his groceries off. She really didn't want to hear his voice right now. If she did, she might just send him some hate mail. Ex-husbands suck. She laughed at her own immaturity.

It really surprised her that she was handling this better than she thought she would. Maybe it was her logic about hers and Inuyasha's relationship. Why should she cry over someone who never cared about her and just lied to her all these years? That is something that a typical teenager would do.

“Kagome? It's Kouga. I found your cell phone in my car. You must've dropped it and I was wondering if I could drop it off at your house. But I guess you aren't home so-”

“Wait!” she had ran to the phone and tried to catch him before he hung up. She didn't know why, but hearing his voice somehow put her more at ease. “I'm home! I just realized that it was missing and then you called!” she laughed nervously.

“So you are home,” his voice sounding cockier than usual.

She couldn't help the little smile that made its way slowly across her face. “Well I really want my phone back you see.”

“So do you want me to drop it off?”

“If it's not too much trouble.”

“Okay. I'll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Kagome clicked off the phone and began cleaning up her mess. What a mess she made! Shattered pieces of her mirror and her favorite flower vase scattered on the floor. Good thing she remembered to wear her slippers or else she wouldn't be able to get out of her room in one piece. She winced as she heard the crackling of a piece of glass she stepped on. She felt a bit better and decided not to let Inuyasha ruin her day, or the rest of her life for that matter with his web of lies.

“This is the last time I'll ever let him affect me this way…”she thought callously as she picked up a dustpan and carried it to her room.

No matter what she finds out that he's been keeping her for all these years, she won't let it affect her. All she can do is silently curse him and hope that he gets what's coming to him. She smirked at that thought. No wonder divorced couples never really become friends. It's impossible to, knowing the other's faults and who ended the marriage. How can you act like friends when the other person stabbed you in the back or let your marriage be ruined? However, she may not be so fond of Inuyasha, but she is willing to get a long with him. For Tai's sake of course.

“Ouch,” she winced as a piece of glass cut her finger. Why did she have to lose her temper and make such a big mess? She got up and was about to run to the bathroom when she heard the doorbell. Must be Kouga, she thought quickly forgetting about the cut on her finger.

“Hey there. I believe this is yours,” he smirked as he held out her cell phone.

“Than you. I realized it was missing before you called. Thanks for brining it over,” she smiled as she took her phone. “Oh? Who's this?”

“Kagome I'd like you to meet my daughter Chiyo,” Kouga said urging the little girl forward.

“Nice to meet you Miss Kagome,” she chirped. She really looked like Kouga. She had piercing green eyes and long dark hair that was tied in a high ponytail, though Kouga chose to put his hair in a low ponytail today.

“And it's nice to meet you too,” Kagome smiled. “Would you two like a drink? Snacks?”

“Actually we were just on our way to the mall. I was going to take Chiyo shopping for some clothes. But I'm afraid that I don't know much about shopping for little girls. So I was wondering if you could come with us? That is if you didn't have any plans for today,” Kouga reasoned.

“We would really like your company Miss Kagome. Daddy's telling the truth when he says that he doesn't know how to pick clothes for little girls,” said Chiyo.

Kagome couldn't help but giggle at her guests. She liked Chiyo already! She was so well mannered and quite a charmer. “Well I was planning to go and finish some work for the rest of the afternoon… but… I guess pending the afternoon with such a cute little girl is better.”

“Then it's settled then. Off to the mall we go!” said Kouga picking Chiyo up.

“Uh… well you see… I just spent the morning moving Inuyasha's things back to his house and I'm all dirty. Would it be okay if I just met up with you guys?” she asked.

“There's no hurry Miss Kagome. We can wait for you. People never see each other in the mall when they say they are going to meet up,” said Chiyo scrunching her nose.

“Okay. Well make yourselves comfortable. If you need anything to eat the kitchen is through that door. I'll be down before you know it,” she said winking at Chiyo.

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Inuyasha glanced at his rearview mirror to see that Tai had succumbed to sucking his thumb. He had finally gotten him to calm down a couple of minutes ago but obviously he wasn't feeling any better. It was still a mystery to him why Kagome suddenly left without a word. He tried to call her house but he kept getting the machine.

It wasn't like her to leave Tai and his groceries at the front door and drive off. He asked Tai what happened and all he said was that Kagome had an argument with another woman at the grocery store. Kagome getting into fights in public? That didn't sound right.

“Careful. Did you know that if you sucked your thumb enough times, you might swallow it?” he saw Tai's eyes become round as he glanced down at his thumb that was still in his mouth. He just couldn't help it… “And the worst part is that they never grow back…” he said in a low whisper. This got Tai's pulling his thumb out of his mouth. But he just couldn't stop there… “I should know… see?” Inuyasha tucked his thumb against his palm and waved the back of his hand at Tai.

Poor Tai began to cry his eyes out as he held on dearly to his thumb. Okay… Maybe he'd gone too far. Luckily for him they reached Miroku's house so he could calm Tai down. Once he pulled over to the driveway, he locked his door and went to sit in the back seat with his crying son. He felt bad for letting his little joke too far. He didn't expect to scare Tai this much. “Hey buddy,” he said nudging him gently. He only continued to cry harder.

“I was only joking, see!” he said flashing his thumb that he had tucked away a while ago. “Daddy still has his thumb. I was only joking about that whole thumb thing. Stop crying,” he said taking out a handkerchief and wiping Tai's face.

“Your thumb did grow back!” cried Tai as he inspected his father's thumb.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and tweaked Tai's nose. “I was only kidding when I said that your thumb would fall off if you didn't quit sucking it. Thumbs don't fall off,” he laughed as he ruffled Tai's hair.

Tai was quiet again with that sad look on his face as if he had just lost his teddy. “Hey…” he said placing Tai on his lap.

“I'll never eat gummy bears again…” Tai grumbled against his chest.

“We'll talk about this later okay? Right now we need to go visit your Uncle Miro while your Aunt Sango isn't home okay?” said Inuyasha quickly darting his eyes left and right. Tai giggled at his father's antics and nodded his head.

“Hey! Never thought you two would get out of that car,” greeted Miroku standing at the front door.

“Uncle Miro!” squealed Tai as he ran and very nearly tackled Miroku down.

“I missed you too kid,” he laughed. “I'm not the only one who's missed you.”

Tai's eyes rounded as he leapt away from Miroku and ran behind his father's legs, almost causing him to topple over. His ears twitching profusely as his head turned left and right.

“Tai! What's gotten into you?” cried Inuyasha looking down at his son who was cowering behind his legs.

“Daddy…” at that moment Tai leapt up once again to end up in his father's arms.

“Tai!” screamed Inuyasha who was completely puzzled by his son's strange behavior. Then he felt a light tug on his pant leg and looked down curiously.

“Hi Uncle Inu,” smiled the little girl behind her large rounded glasses.

Oh. How dense was he? The little girl was the product of Miroku and Sango's, who just happened to inherit her father's wandering hands. Hana was her name, and it was something that Tai feared. She was only five years old and she was already a lecher. She had Sango's looks hidden behind her oversized glasses but her brain ran like Miroku's. Little Hana was known to grope little boys her age, but her favorite was Tai.

It has been a while since the two were together since Miroku is forbidden to be speaking or even seen with him since his and Kagome's divorce. Today happens to be a day when Sango is working and he can finally chat with Miroku.

“Hey kid,” he grinned putting Tai down to ruffle Hana's hair. He ignored Tai as he scampered off behind a bush. Truthfully, he couldn't blame him. He saw many women running away from Miroku because of his wandering hands and now this poor little girl would suffer the same fate from boys. “You sure have grown from the last time I've seen you,” he said measuring her against his leg.

“I grew 2 inches since I last saw Tai,” she smiled proudly. “Tai?” she was scanning the area now for him, first checking behind Inuyasha.

Poor kid. She's only a little girl; Tai should be able to handle. He has demon blood running through his veins for heaven's sake! He should be fine.

“Tai? Get out of there right now,” he yelled at the bush.

Sure enough Tai stepped out of the bush at his father's voice with his head bowed low. “Daddy… can we go home now?”

“Go home? You just got here silly! I have some new toys I wanna show you! Let's go!” cried Hana as she practically had to drag Tai into the house while Tai shot Inuyasha the best puppy dog faces in history.

“Well looks like the kids are just fine. Want something to drink?” smiled Miroku.

“Sure. Your house looks different,” said Inuyasha once he stepped inside.

“Yeah. Sango moved everything around and made me repaint all the rooms,” he grinned as he tossed Inuyasha a soda.

“Wow. All by your self?” whistled Inuyasha as he caught his soda.

“Well no. It was a family effort,” he grinned. “So I've noticed that you and Tai seem closer. He looked a bit troubled in the car a couple minutes ago.”

“Yeah,” answered Inuyasha combing his hand through his hair. “Something happened with Kagome at the grocery store and he doesn't know why she's so upset.”

“So all three of you guys had been living in the same roof again huh?” started Miroku.

“Yeah. So?”

“Well what was the point of getting a divorce?” blurted Miroku.

“It's not like that. Kagome just needed someone to watch Tai while she's at work. And since I am currently suspended, I was available. I can take care of my own son can't I?” answered Inuyasha crossing his arms.

“So how are things between the two of you?” asked Miroku.

Inuyasha took a slow sip of his soda before answering. “I don't know. We talked about getting along for Tai's sake. We agreed that we weren't going to put Tai in situations where he'd have to pick between the two of us or listen to our bickering. So we get along.”

“But isn't it strange that after your divorce you end up under the same roof?”

“Just what are you trying to say?” asked Inuyasha cocking up an eyebrow at his insightful friend.

“Nothing. It's just… You're living with your ex-wife. Don't you feel… anything?”

“Feel anything?” repeated Inuyasha.

“I mean… you two have been together for over ten years! You can't honestly tell me that all your feelings for her have completely disappeared!”

Inuyasha was silent. To be honest, he really didn't know what he was feeling towards Kagome. He remembered back to the times when he watched the clock urgently when it was almost time for her to come home, and just this morning he was reliving their wedding night. He also noted his reaction during her birthday just so everything would be perfect and how jealous he had been at finding her office decorated in every flower imaginable from another man. What did it mean?

“Inuyasha?” said Miroku snapping him out of his stupor.

“I don't know Miroku… Sometimes I get these urges… to act and treat her as I've always done when we were together you know? Like hug her when she gets home. Or tell her that she looks too glamorous for work… or kiss her good morning. I don't know what it is… But I think it's because of our living conditions. Since our divorce is so recent, everything about our old life is still pretty fresh,” he sighed.

Miroku only nodded in response and felt pity towards his friend. He wouldn't know what to do if he and Sango separated.

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“Are you listening to me? I said that this is my newest toy,” said Hana as she waved the toy in front of Tai's face.

“I heard you. I just don't think it's all that,” he shrugged.

“Tai Takahashi when did you become so rude?” cried Hana.

“I just don't feel like playing. Maybe next time?” he said sitting down on the carpeted floor.

“Okay. Well how are things in your family? I heard my mommy telling my daddy that he wasn't allowed to talk to your daddy because he's bad,” she inquired.

“My daddy's not bad!” cried Tai.

“Well that's what I heard from my mommy. She said that your daddy was a liar liar pants on fire,” she said matter-of-factly.

“He is not!”

“And that he's really, really bad. Good thing my daddy isn't like that,” she said quietly.

“You take that back right now Hana!” he cried almost in tears. “If you don't I'll never speak to you again!”

“Okay. I'm sorry Tai. But I know something that I'm sure you don't. It's a secret. But I don't know if I can tell you…” she said flipping her hair.

“Tell me,” said Tai.

“Okay I'll tell you. But you have to promise you won't tell anyone okay? Pinky promise,” she said hooking her little pinky with his. “Okay… I once heard my mommy talking to your mommy on the phone when my mommy thought I was already asleep. Your mommy was crying on the phone and it was really hard to understand what she was saying. But I understood!” she said proudly.

“I already know that! I know that my mommy cries at night because I've heard her too,” he said getting a little impatient.

“I'm not finished yet,” she said shushing the little pup. “Well your mommy was saying that your daddy didn't love her anymore. She said that he loved going to work because of his new sec'tary. What was her name…? I think it was Kikyou. I remember it because it sounded pretty… Well I heard my mommy saying that she looks exactly like your mommy…”

Tai remained quiet and Hana felt proud of herself for capturing his attention. The boy wasn't even blinking!

“Then I heard your mommy say that she's had enough. That she couldn't stand you daddy anymore because he made her cry. And that he never comes home when he's supposed to and chooses to stay with that Kikyou woman instead…”

“Shut up…”

“Then your mommy just kept crying saying that she still loves your daddy even if he ignores her…”

“SHUT UP!” screamed Tai.

Tai was in tears and breathing harshly as he starred at Hana's shocked face. He didn't want to hear anymore but she just kept going. He watched as Hana's face crumbled and his ears pressed firmly against his head as she started to cry as well.

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“Maybe this whole thing about being jobless is a good thing,” said Miroku.

“Easy for you to say. You still have yours. I worked hard for mine and it gets taken away as if it's nothing,” said Inuyasha finishing the last of his soda.

“Look at it this way. You have more free time to be with your son. When was the last time you spent the whole entire day with Tai when you were still working?” asked Miroku.

He did have a point. He did have more time for Tai now. He missed a whole year with his son because of his hectic schedule and not to mention his affair with Kikyou. He didn't even know his son anymore and he remembered just how guilty he felt about it afterwards. He felt very thankful now that he was able to get to know Tai before it was too late. Missing important moments in Tai's life was not something he'd be proud of.

The silence was quickly broken by the sound of cries echoing from the up the stairs. Both fathers looked at each other and rushed to the stairs to check on the children.

“Hana!”

“Tai!”

The wails grew louder as they reached Hana's room and found the two toddlers sitting beside each other on the floor. Both were bawling their eyes out but no one seemed to be hurt. Inuyasha and Miroku exchanged glances and wondered what could be the problem. Usually when children fought, only one of them would be crying. But the two of them? Something must be terribly wrong.

Inuyasha made his way to Tai and picked him up I his arms. Tai immediately clung on to him and continued to cry his big eyes out against his chest. “What happened here?” he asked rubbing Tai's back to soothe him. Tai only cried harder and he took out his handkerchief once again to dry Tai's tears. He glanced at Miroku to see that he was at least making some progress.

“Tell me what happened Hana,” he said wiping his daughter's tears away with the pad of his thumb. Hana explained to him what had happened, but of course everything came out all muffled because of her sobs. “Inuyasha maybe it's best if we cut this visit short. The kids are really distraught.”

“You noticed?” asked Inuyasha sarcastically as he urged Tai to blow his nose on the now soggy handkerchief. “See you next time.” Inuyasha walked down the hallway and descended down the flight of stairs. He was somewhat grateful because one crying child was enough for his ears. Once in the car he buckled Tai up in his seat and sat with him just like he had an hour ago. “Tell me what happened.” Tai opened his mouth and he leaned in closer to hear him but Tai only let out a hiccup and shook his head vigorously. “Tai you have to tell me what happened or else I can't help you with your problem,” he reasoned. Still his son gave no answer, only more crying.

He sat listening to his son's sobs slowly being reduced to light whimpers and hiccups. What could have happened that Tai was this upset and not want to talk about it? Maybe Hana had groped him too much? Maybe he shouldn't have ignored those pleading looks Tai gave him before he Hana dragged him off?

“Tell you what, how about we go to the mall and go to your favorite ice cream place?” He remembered taking Tai to an ice cream shop at the mall with Kagome when he was only a year old. He hoped that it was still Tai's favorite and his features lit up as Tai stopped crying almost immediately. “Good. Then after you can tell me what's bother you okay?”

Poor kid. His eyes were now swollen and red-rimmed from crying too much and his nose was running like crazy. Inuyasha watched as Tai lifted his chubby arms to wipe his face and couldn't help but smile at his son. “Here have some tissue buddy. You can pay me back for my handkerchief next time,” he smirked.