InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Even If You Cannot Hear My Voice ❯ Even If You Cannot Hear My Voice ( Chapter 15 )

Kagome began to rouse from her nap feeling pretty hungry. She could tell that it was pretty late at night since Kaede was already asleep as well as everyone else when she actually looked around. Shippou was curled up with Kirara, and could it have been her imagination that Sango and Miroku were sleeping really close to each other? She yawned widely and her stomach growled angrily at her. She heard a soft “Keh!” in the corner, and to her supreme horror, Inuyasha had been up the whole time. She felt like her face was about to spontaneously combust when Inuyasha said he would be right back with some food.

 

After he left, the blush that had engulfed Kagome's entire face gradually dissipated, and she shifted her thoughts from being mortified to being terrified. Everyone's asleep! She thought panicked. He'll probably want to talk about his wish and Kikyo! I can't do this right now! She complained to herself.

 

Hunger forgotten, Kagome launched herself towards the well. She would sit him into oblivion if she had to, but she wanted to think about what would happen from here before discussing any of it with Inuyasha.

 

 

As soon as she landed on the other side of the well, she started to run-or rather, she would have if it wasn't for an annoyingly strong arm holding her in place.

 

“Inuyasha. You have the jewel. You can wish for whatever you want-be a full youkai like you always wanted. I won't interfere anymore.” As she spoke, her heart felt as if a huge weight was dragging it to the ground. It was extremely hard to swallow-her throat was so dry, it was almost painful.

 

Kagome was still facing away from Inuyasha as she talked. Inuyasha could smell the salt of her tears and hear the slightest tremble in her voice. Why is she always so stupid? He thought as he turned her around to face him. First of all, she had not even spent any energy purifying the jewel, not that he had expected her to yet, so he couldn't make a wish now if he wanted, second of all, why would she think he still wanted to become a full youkai, (She must be really dumb…) and third of all…

 

“Keh. I told you already that I needed you, baka. Don't you remember?” Inuyasha's voice was harsh but not without tenderness.

 

“I know you said that…but…with all of those times you went to see Kikyo…just because she's gone…I…” Kagome was trembling slightly and her eyes burned with the tears streaming down her flushed face.

 

Inuyasha shook his head and sighed. “No, Kagome. I don't want you to think like that. I don't even want to be a full youkai anymore, and…I never needed Kikyo the way I need you. I should've never thought it was my responsibility to do whatever Kikyo asked of me. Kikyo herself said that we never truly loved one another.”

 

“You said that you never truly loved her before, but you were willing to be human for her! How can you say that's not love?!” Kagome was getting pissed now. Not that she wanted it, but would he ever be willing to do the same for her?

 

“I know that now because…of the way I feel about you, Kagome…and nothing changes the fact that I always wanted to be near you…and…I always will…”

 

“Inuyasha...” Does that mean he's saying he truly loves me? Ugh. Why can't he just come out and say it, then? Kagome tried to pull herself away from his embrace. After all the pain she went through, all of the restless nights, all the times he chose a dead empty shell over her, she wasn't going to just stand here and listen to this nonsense. He won't ever say it!!!! She screamed to herself desperately.

 

Inuyasha could feel her squirm and just held her tighter. He gently but firmly held her chin in place and forced her to look up at him.

 

“Look you stupid girl-I acted towards Kikyo like I did towards Kohaku. Even though he was a threat before he regained his memories, even though he could've killed you and Rin, I still stopped Sango from killing him. And Kikyo was a threat to you, I know. I also know that…that thing that was resurrected was not the Kikyo I had cared for so long ago. The Kikyo I knew…she was sad but not filled with such bitterness and hate. But I just couldn't bring myself to kill either one of them because…it just didn't feel right…and…I'm glad I didn't because Kohaku is now free to be with his sister and you freed Kikyo's soul….Kagome, all I know is that no one has ever truly accepted me as a hanyou like you have, and-“

 

Kagome opened her mouth as if to say something and interrupt the exasperated hanyou, but she was silenced with a forceful, chaste kiss…that is to say, an as chaste as possible kiss when one party already has their mouth open.

 

“Inuyasha…”

 

He pulled her even closer and rested her head on his shoulder and held it there while his other arm was wrapped tightly around her slender waist.

 

“Kagome, I know I was stupid. I don't know if you still want me after all I've done to you, but…I want you to be mine, Kagome. Mine and only mine-I can't let anyone else have you. You are the only person who has ever made me feel like I belong somewhere. Nothing and no one else can make me happy, Kagome.”

 

“Inuyasha…I…” Kagome felt her resolve to not let him just get away with all that had happened quickly dissolve. She wondered what he would've done if she hadn't put Kikyo to rest herself. He probably would have just gone to Hell and never have given me another thought. She thought sadly. She was going to have to get some answers out of him eventually, but not right now. He had never said anything like that to her before, and even though he didn't tell her he loved her, she could see it in those beautiful amber eyes of his, and she wanted to relish in his words and his touch. It always fascinated her how gentle he could be with those razor-sharp claws of his! He's never even scratched her once. Not even by accident. Damn him, she thought, I'll never be able to not forgive him for anything if I can forgive him now! Oh well…I can still sit him whenever I want! Of course, he'll probably ask me to take the prayer beads off of him…

 

“Kagome, just say that you're mine.” Inuyasha's voice was rather strained. She wasn't saying anything, but she looked deep in thought, and that had him worried. Better to get her to say okay quickly before she thought about it too much and have her tell him that she was going to stay in her time and seal the well or something so he could never see her again after he went back…just the thought of it forced him to emit a low growl in the back of his throat. It was soft enough that Kagome probably wouldn't hear it, but she might feel the gentle vibration because she was currently so close to him. That would certainly help my situation if she thought I was growling. He thought bitterly. Kagome interrupted his thoughts by calmly pushing away from him so she could see into those hypnotic eyes of his once more, clearly not paying any attention to the rumbling coming from his throat.

 

“Inuyasha, I…need some time…to think everything over…” Well that certainly wasn't what she thought she would say or wanted to say at all. He finally told her that he wanted her to be his forever, and she couldn't believe those words actually came out of her mouth in response. Time to think? Baka, you've been thinking about nothing BUT him and this moment since the day you saw him sealed to Goshinboku! Ah well, maybe he deserves to wait! I waited long enough for him, that's for sure!

 

“Kagome...” Inuyasha sighed in defeat.

 

“Okay, Kagome. Take the time you need. I'll wait.” Did I really just say that? Where was all this mushy bullshit coming from anyways?! I just want to go back to kissing her and holding her in my lap so no one can come within an inch of her but me! She's MINE, DAMN IT!

 

As Kagome looked into his flawless honey-colored eyes again, she saw softness in them followed by a flicker of fire. Confused, but not willing to spoil the moment anymore than she already had by asking for time to think, she barely whispered, “Arigato, Inuyasha.”

 

“Keh. Get some rest. I'll be back for you in two days, and-“

 

“Two days?!?! No, I need at least five! Besides! You just said I could take as long as I needed! You can't expect me to just-“

 

Inuyasha cut her off with loud growl. “You can't have five. You can have two.”

 

“You're not even compromising! At LEAST give me four!” Kagome was standing in the “sit” stance and her fights were compressed into tight little balls of fury. How the HELL is two days giving me the time I need?!?! Her eyes blazed incredulously.

 

Completely unfazed by her positioning, he replied, “Listen wench. I said two and it's going to be two, and not a second more!!!” He knew he had gone too far, and he really shouldn't have said “wench,” but she didn't know how hard it was for him to tell her he was wrong and stupid or how hard it was for him not to grab her and mate with her right fucking now in front of Goshinboku. And to fucking hell with anyone who heard them in the shrine or in all of Tokyo for that matter-

 

“INUYASHA!” Kagome interrupted Inuyasha's thoughts.

 

Inuyasha visibly cringed…She's gonna say it…

 

“OSUWARI!!!”

 

“ACK!” Well, he thought, I certainly knew that was coming. “Oi, bitch! What the hell was that for?!”

 

Kagome decided to ignore that last little comment of his as she angrily marched off into the shrine. After she has slammed the door shut and locked it, she burst into an unstoppable giggling frenzy. No, she thought, I can't deprive myself of so much fun and ever take off those beads! Besides, how else is going to learn it's not okay to call me “wench!”

 

“Okay,” she said aloud, “The day I know he won't call me either bitch or wench, I'll take off the beads…” She laughed to herself scoffing. “Like that'll ever happen!” And she hummed merrily to herself as she got ready to sleep in her wonderfully soft bed.

 

 

That bitch locked me out! Inuyasha thought enraged as he tried to open the door. Fine! I usually go in through the window, anyways! He said to himself before letting out a particularly nasty laugh of victory. He easily leapt up to his intended destination.

 

“I'm not letting her have THAT word be her last to me tonight…” he grumbled menacingly as he perched outside Kagome's window. He angrily noticed that her window was locked shut as well. “She's fucking dead.” He snarled.

 

When he peered inside Kagome's room, however, she was no where to be found, so he couldn't give her warning that he was going to break the window if she didn't let him in. He sure as hell didn't care if he woke anybody up…but she did. He decided that he would start tapping incessantly on her window. That'll make her cave! He told himself triumphantly, but as soon as his hand touched the glass, Inuyasha was fried to a crisp and ended up lying on the ground twitching in irritation and rage. SHE FUCKING SEALED ME OUT!?!?!

 

Inuyasha was beyond furious and spat out, “Fine. I didn't want to talk to you about my wish anyways!” before leaping into the well. Inuyasha was as good at hiding his feelings as he was at convincing himself of those feelings, so…try as he might, the people who really cared for him knew his true nature just as he knew his true feelings-which is to say, he's not that good at hiding them at all, it's just hard for people to put up with his non-stop dickery with infinite patience.

 

Kagome came back into her room in a pink pajama suit after brushing her teeth and was surprised to find Inuyasha not outside her window. She noticed the sutra on her floor and picked it up and smirked. “I can't believe he gave up after one try! I only did that to give him a good zap for forcing his way into my room!” She cried out to herself amused and disappointed at the same time.

 

“Oh well. I needed to rest, anyways. And Kami-sama knows that we would've just woken everybody up with an argument!” Kagome reasoned. She was tired, but she wasn't completely sleepy, so she turned on the radio and grabbed a photo album. As she mindlessly flipped through the pages, she felt a guilty pang. Why haven't I ever brought a camera with me to the Sengoku Jidai? She felt better when a small voice in her head told her it was because she thought she'd always be able to see everyone in the Feudal Era. Then she felt her heart drop when she finally realized that she probably wouldn't be able to go back and forth between worlds once Inuyasha made his wish…I still don't even know what he wants to wish for…He wanted to tell me, but I didn't want to listen. I'm such a stupid coward! She complained to herself a bit crestfallen.

 

As the song “Run” by SnowPatrol hit the radio waves, Kagome smiled a little. “This is such a good song,” she announced to herself…and Buyo…who had just waddled in. “UGH!” Kagome sighed annoyed at the cat. She didn't want to get up off her bed, but she couldn't ever sleep with the door open, so she really had no choice but to remedy the situation. She was more pissed at herself that she hadn't shut the door than the cat coming in since she never really minded the insanely large cat's company, but she had enough on her mind already to be bothered by the fact that she was blaming the cat.

 

When she settled herself back down, she started thinking about her more than substantial predicament. If I had to choose…where would I stay? She had thought about this mildly in the past, but now that the time she might have to choose was so close, it had finally started to sink in.

 

You've been the only thing that's right

In all I've done…

 

She tried to look at her options logically. She grabbed a notebook off her nightstand and scribbled “OPTIONS” at the top of one of the pages.

 

“Okay.” She said while staring blankly at the page. “Option 1:” She said aloud as she wrote. “Stay in Feudal Japan with Inuyasha and the others.” See? That wasn't so hard, was it? She encouraged herself inwardly.

 

“Okay.” She said again while pausing to think. “Option 2: Stay here in modern Japan with my family and my friends and the life I have lived for over 16 years.” Okay, now things are starting to get harder… She thought miserably.

 

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

 

She stared at the page for awhile…Are those really my only options? She tried to think of any option 3…Though she started feeling really out of place in modern Japan and couldn't talk to her friends like she used to, she loved her family and didn't want to give them up. Unless I had to…She surprised herself with her own afterthought. Did she just give herself a revelation? Does that mean…I wouldn't like it, but I could give them up to be with Inuyasha?!

 

She thought for another minute and scribbled “Option 3: Stay in modern Japan with Inuyasha.”

 

“But that's only a contingency plan! I'm not going to do anything but mention that one to him.” She told herself stubbornly. She didn't want Inuyasha to feel more out of place than he already did being a hanyou. Of course, there has got to be some sort of concealment spell or SOMETHING so he wouldn't have to wear a dumb baseball cap or a bandana all the time!

 

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry…

 

She wondered if she could abandon Shippou and her now best friend Sango and even the lecher monk and then thought about what Inuyasha had wanted to say to her about his wish, and if these options were even considered in Inuyasha's deliberations. She stared at the page for awhile longer, taking special note that Inuyasha was in two of the three options. She glared menacingly at option number 2 after thinking about what it would be like to never see her beloved hanyou ever again. Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at the clock and it hadn't even been an hour since Inuyasha had left, and she was seriously contemplating running out the door and jumping into the well herself.

 

“This damn song isn't helping!” She shouted at Buyo as loud as she could without fear of waking up the entire household. Buyo whined in agreement. It wouldn't be accurate to say he mewed because Kirara mewed…Buyo…well…he was too fat to mew like a normal cat much less like Kirara in kitten form, but that was well beside the point. She loved Inuyasha…more than anyone…and she would certainly die if she couldn't ever see him again…

 

 

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

 

 

“OKAY, THAT'S IT!!!” she bellowed with such ferocity that even Inuyasha would've been taken aback.

 

“Kagome…?” Her brother Souta sleepily called out while rubbing his eyes. When he shuffled over to his sister's bedroom, however, she was not inside. The lights were still on, and Buyo was now happily curled on Kagome's bed on which he now regularly slept, but there was no Kagome. Souta, starting to not care anymore as his eyelids were protesting irritably that they were still open, slowly crawled back into his bed and fell right back to sleep, and no one but Buyo heard the end of the song that had all but forced Kagome to sprint to the well still in her pajamas.

 

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

 

But before Kagome tossed herself into the blackness below, something seized Kagome's right arm and yanked her back into something quite solid.

 

“Inuyasha?!”

 

“Keh! Took you long enough!” He said with a smirk.