InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Father's Favorite ❯ Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Warning: This chapter contains a bit more explicit language than I normally use. Actually, I think it's only one word, but I still want to be on the safe side.

At dinner, they had company. An old friend of Inutaisho's by the name of Kiza. They were about the same age and had known each other since they were boys. "Remember that time that we were all at the hot springs and those girls came?" Lord Kiza asked him. Inutaisho couldn't remember a specific time that he was at the hot springs. He went there nearly everyday after training. Kiza clarified that for him. "And we got out before you did and stole your clothes? You didn't know those girls were there so when you got out, they were all looking at you! They burst out laughing cause they said that you have a cocktail weener!" Kiza threw back his head and laughed.

Inutaisho didn't seem to think it was so. Especially not right in front of his family. Izayoi gave him an "I told you so" look and said, "See? It's not just me who says that, other women have said it too. Four and a half inches just isn't enough for me." Both Inuyasha and Sesshomaru spit out their food and started coughing. But their coughs soon turned to fits of giggles. "Four and a half inches, dad?" Sesshomaru said. "I'm bigger than you and I ain't even done growing yet!" Inutaisho had been blushing like a school boy until he said this.

Rounding on him, he said, "Right, and that's also why you wetted the bed until you were four hundred years old and you still ask me to leave the bathroom light on and keep your door open a crack. My dick may be small but my rank's ain't. You want some more?" Sesshomaru was now the one blusing. "No," he said in a very quiet voice. He picked up his chop sticks and started eating the food that he'd spit out.

Kiza looked dumbfounded. "You talk to your son that way? I mean, he's the oldest. And a...well, you know..." Inutaisho stared him down with a cold look. "A what? Go on, say it. We're old friends, right?" Kiza gulped, then rushed out, "He's a full demon." Inutaisho's expression softened. "Exactly. He should know better than to insult his own father. But Inuyasha, we'll he's still a growing, learning boy. He wouldn't know any better, now would he?" Kiza shook his head. "No, he wouldn't."

Inuyasha gave them a shocked look that they didn't see. "Feh," was all he muttered before crossing his arms and turning his face up away from them. He stayed that way for a moment until he peeked down at his food and resolutly began eating again.

After dinner, Inutaisho wanted to show his friend his trophy display. "And here's the trophy I won for having the most consecutive beheadings in sparring. 37 straight. Quite impressive, eh?" Kiza nodded. "Yeah, if you like settling for such low numbers. I got 80." Inutaisho grunted quietly to himself. "Okay then, how about this one." He picked up a bag and shook it. "101 teeth from 101 people. How do you like them chitlins?" "Back inside the pig. 1,341 teeth from that amount of people. Go on, surprise me with something else." Inutaisho was now growling softly. "Fine." Striding to the very back of the room, he stopped in front of a very large trophy. "Criss-cross champion, 1608. Eighty-thousand jumps. There, beat that." "Already did. 1 million jumps. 1791. It's time to face the facts, Inutaisho. I'm better than you at everything. Better at sports, better at getting girls, better at sex--and don't deny it. With four and a half inches, there has to be some conflicts in bed--I'm even better at being better."

Inutaisho could only hang his head and nod ascent. "Yeah, you were always the one everyone bragged on. My wins were like clothes and dieting fads. Everyone surrounded me for the moment, until the next best thing came along. Again. And again. And again." Kiza made a soft expression. "Hey look, we're friends, right? Friends don't argue about stupid things like trophies even if I do have more and better ones than you. Let's head into the den and we can continue reminiscing about the good old days like when we gave you that bar pill and you thought it was some advil. Man, you were fucked up after that! So fucked up, you even tried kissing your mom!"

As they entered the den, a vision came unto Inutaisho. He'd like to think it was sent from God. In the vision, he was still watching Kiza laugh at his past blunders, but he couldn't really hear him, just see that big ass smile cheesing his ass off at him. Inutaisho quickly ran by him, then came to an abrupt halt on the other side of the room. As though having an out of body experience, he could see himself standing with his hand now drawn to his left shoulder, the claws dripping with bood. Without turning around, in the background you could see Kiza's head sliding cleanly off his neck. Inutaisho smiled to himself, but it seemed as though that little luxury of a daydream couldn't even be cherished. Kiza was calling him.

"Inutaisho? Inutaisho! You're freaking me out, man! Quit staring at me like that! Anyways, and then you were all like, dude, that's not even funny, and we're all like, fuck yeah that was!" So he was snapped out of a good dream all to be dragged back into a nightmare. He settled down and put a hand on his head. This was going to be awhile.

When forever finally passed and Kiza had abruptly fallen asleep after his 64th sake (he even said that he was better at holding his liquor better than him before passing out.), Inutaisho had the curtosey to help his "friend" out by carring him to his bed. But as he was going up the stairs, Sesshomaru was coming down for a midnight snack. They stopped and starred at each other. "Sesshomaru, we are going to walk by each other and we are never going to speak of this again. Do you understand me?" Sesshomaru nodded and they kept going their directions.

Getting Kiza to his room, Inutaisho laid him on the bed and took of his shoes for him. He was even kind enough to pull the curtains over the window and and the covers up to his chin. He stopped and stared at him for a moment, then grabbed his manhood through the folds of his clothes. "Ha, you're just as small as me!" he whispered. As he left, he cast him a final glance. "No, I think I'm a sixteenth bigger than you. Better start poppin' some Enzeyte, bitch." He was able to sleep peacefully that night knowing he at least had beaten Kiza at something. Even if Kiza would never know it, a personal victory is sometimes better than a public one.


Alright, and there it is! And so, you know what to do! Whether you liked it or not, review and tell me your thoughts!