InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Father's Favorite ❯ The Way to a Woman's Heart (Inutaisho style!) ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Okay, sorry for the long wait. Muse decided to take a snooze (hey, that rhymed!) But I wanted to put out one more chapter before the holidays. Well, actually, this was written when I put this chapter on another website and I did have it out before the holidays. Sometimes I forget about the fact that I have to post all of my stories to two sites! So ignore the stuff about happy holidays and all of that. My bad that I forgot to post these next chapters before Christmas! Read it, like it, love it!

As soon as Sesshomaru came into the palace, he saw that Inuyasha was still glued to the TV except now he was watching...Harry Potter?! (quite frankly, I like HP. Call me a nerd, fuck all ya'll!) Crossing the room quickly, he turned it off. Immediatly, Inuyasha started having a hissy-fit. "How dare you! Dumbledore was just about to tell Harry something important!" "And I'm supposed to give a damn why?" Growling to himself, Inuyasha pulled something out from his haori. A stick. "Avada Kadavera!" he shouted, and flicked the stick at Sesshomaru. He simply blinked with a bored expression. "And that was supposed to do what?" "Kill you," his brother said lamely. Sesshomaru nodded slowly then grabbed the stick and broke it. "Grow up," he whispered in his ear before handing the broken "wand" back to him and walking off, leaving Inuyasha staring sadly at the peices with his ears flat against his head in disappointment.

Entering the kitchen, Sesshomaru noticed a note on the table. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, put all of the groceries and house stuff up, except the last two things that were on the list. Bring those up to my study, ASAP. --That G dog, Inutaishizzle. "Inutaishizzle?! No, dad! Just, no! You're 3,000 years old. You were alive to shake Jesus' hand! Hell, you probably snuck on the ark with Noah! Leave that for the new generation! Like me. Sesshizzle nizzle. Hm, sounds kinda cool." Sesshomaru abandoned putting up the supplies and such and left out into the back gardens.

He was about to lay low in his favorite spot, but voices floating down from an open window stopped him. His father and Izayoi. "Look, I know you don't like scary movies, which is why I picked one that isn't scary. How's Borat sound to you?" "You think I want to go see some degenerate movie about some stupid foreign guy who probably thinks that telling someone they're ugly is helping them out?" "Well, uh, that is kinda nice, ya know? That way you know your standards." A silence. Then Inutaisho again: "Okay, if you don't like that idea, how about we go to that new art gallery that just opened up. I know how much you like art. And the guy who owns the place has been wanting to do a portrait of you for the longest. Hell, you might even get to be in the gallery!" "Oh sure, like in that Mario Vasquez song." "Um, that's not what I ment, nor do I see how that fits in with anything I said, except for the words gallery." "Of course you dont'! You don't see anything!" Izayoi screamed and stormed out of yet another room.

Inutaisho gave a huge sigh and headed toward the window for a breather. Before Sesshomaru could get away, he spotted him. "What the hell are you doing down there? Get your ass up here! And bring those things I told you to get!" And hello to you too, bastard, Sesshomaru thought, but went back into the castle and got the "last two items" to bring to his father. As he went into the kitchen again, he saw Izayoi rummaging through the bags, strangly skipping over the one that contained the "things". Instead, she honed in on the pint of cookies n' creme ice cream that he'd bought. Ripping the lid off, she dug in with her fingers, sucking loudly on them and giving small moans of pleasure. A moment later, she was rolling on the floor and complaining of a brain freeze. "I'm not even going to ask," he mumbled to himself and grabbed the bag he needed and left.

Reaching his father's study, he politly knocked, because no matter what, he at least respected him. The door opened as though on its own. The room was dark save for the fireplace being lit. In the middle of a hot ass summer day. WTF? As if that wasn't strange enough, there was also a river otter skin on the floor. Sesshomaru recognized it. Wouldn't that be Kanta's father, the demon that he'd reluctantly revived only because Tetseiga was pulsing (that, and he couldn't say no to Shippo's innocent look)? And all for him to end up as his father's floor mat. Damn, ain't that about a bitch. The light casted an eerie shadow on the walls and illuminated the wine red furniture, consisting of an over easy chair in front of the fire, back turned toward it, and a desk with a black chair in front of it. There was no place for anyone else to sit.

His father was in the chair by the fire. Its position made it hard to see his features, but his silhouette showed that he had his legs crossed with a wine glass between his fingers. He was swishing it slowly, eyes slightly glowing (kind of rhymed!). "Come in, Sesshomaru. Close the door." As soon as Sesshomaru did, he almost regretted it. The room seemed more menacing now, with no light from the hall to shine in and add a little life to the room. Lifting his feet off of the padded foot rest, he kicked it a few feet away from him and gestured that his son should sit down. The boy quickly did so.

"Now, down to buisness. Did you bring those "things" that I asked for?" "Uh, yeah, here take 'em." Sesshomaru said, not really liking holding the bag with the "things". "Good, good..." Inutaisho said, almost absent-mindly and rubbing his hands together. "Sesshomaru, I have another important task for you to do." "If it has anything to do with tampons and condoms, the answer is no." Sesshomaru said, making a disgusted face. "Of course not! Well, not entirely. You see, Izayoi's going through that "phase" that women go through when they become even more obnoxious bitches than what they already were. I think I have the answer of how to solve that, just short of killing her."

The young inu-youkai raised an eyebrow. "Oh? How?" Inutaisho smiled. "Intimacy." "Ugh! Father! You're not planning to, you know, do it, while she's, well, you know, on it, are you?!" Inutaisho gave a hearty laugh. "Oh, Sesshomaru! Maybe." His son fell over and started gasping as though he had asthma. "Ha, just playing! We as men know that sleeping with a woman during the time that her clouds pass over the moon is bad luck. Why, even being near one could ruin the richest man." Nothing but fisher-men tales, but I'll let him believe them.

A/N: That whole paragraph's topic was kind of based from something that I read in Memoirs of a Geisha (yeah, I'm talking about the book, not the movie!). They had mentioned that women down near where the men fished or did fishing duties was bad luck and would spoil the catch. Inutaisho just took that a step farther! Also, the phrase "the moon passing over the clouds" was also taken from the book. It's a nice, friendly reference to "that time of the month." Anyways, back to the story!

The dog general continued on with his explanation to his son. "What I want you to do is plan a romantic night for me and Izayoi. I'd do it myself, but I have a meeting with the fuckin' Lord of the Northern Lands. Damn wolve's. They think that just because we're wild cousins means that we have to work together. Well I say to hell with them! But, I'd be neglecting my duties as Lord of the Western Lands if I didn't at least go and pretend to be interested in the topic. So, you'll have to do all of the work yourself. When I get home, I want to see that some work has been done. Dinner, candles, music, the works. Can you handle that?"

Sesshomaru stared at him. "I think the question really is, do I even want to handle that?" Inutaisho blinked. "Let me re-phrase that. You are going to handle that. No excuses. Izayoi's going out with some friends and I gave her the seal of the our royal family so she can spoil herself in the villages doing those things that women like to do like, shopping, and eating all of the free samples down at Baskin Robins, and--damn, what the hell is it that women like to do?--oh yeah, and worshiping Brad Pitt, who I've just put a hit out on."

"See, Sesshomaru, that's how you keep your woman happy. Let her think you love her by spoiling her, but at the same time, slowly take away her precious object of true devotion. Well, she can have Brad until tonight when he's killed when starts his car. And while he's sleeping with the fishes, I'll make my move on Angelina Jolie. Everybody's happy! But back to your task, we should be back home by nine. Make sure the food isn't cold, the candles arn't burnt down too far, or that the bubbles in the tub haven't disappeared. If you can make sure of all of that, well hell, I just might reward you with something." My rightful title to the lands after you croak again? Yipee! Sesshomaru thought, a vision of him with all three of his father's swords on him (three because of Sounga, third movie) and wrecking havoc on Japan. He smiled, then shook his head. He could dream, couldn't he?

"Okay, now get out. Your old man needs to get ready. Plus, I need to think of a quick escape excuse should the damn meeting get too boring, which it always does. I'm trusting you with something that really I should have your brother do, seeing as he's more repsponsible." What?! The damn hanyou didn't even know what to do with a bar of soap when we gave him one, how the fuck is he more responsible? He rose from the foot stool and casted a last glance at his father. He was still sitting down and had his eyes closed with his head laid back. "Ooh, Angelina, we were ment for each other. Then again, Haley Barry is kinda good too. I especially liked her in Cat Woman. Mee-ow!" Sesshomaru shuddered and tried to imagine either woman being his step-mother. The picture that came to him was him tied up upside down and both of them using him like he was a punching bag. Compared to them, Izayoi was Kami. He'd rather have a nag over super women anyday.

With that, he left and went back down to the kitchen. Izayoi was still eating the ice cream, but was now watching a movie. Or was it a show? Oh, no! It was the first season of Sex and the City on DVD! Oh Kami, the horror! Inuyasha was evidently thinking the same thing because he was now making a point of playing his PSP very loudly to where Izayoi finally got up off the couch and dragged over her cartons of ice cream to occupy his bean-bag chair. Sesshomaru raised his eyebrow again and went outside. It's times like these that makes me happy that whatever happened to my mother, did happen.


Okay, perhaps not my best chapter. Any ways, still I hoped you enjoyed it. Oh, and don't worry about if my story is getting off topic (I know I some times do that). Everything that Inutaisho has Sesshomaru doing ties back in with the main topic. So, with that said, merry Christmas, Felize Navidad (spanish for merry Christmas), and have a happy new year! Oh, wait, I'll have another chapter out before that! Well, till next chapter, hasta luego! (See you later, also spanish.)