InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ For the heart of a demon ❯ Decision Made ( Chapter 16 )

For the heart of a demon

 

Dang it! If you all read the top thingy that gives the description of the chapters…Then if you are reading this now, THIS IS the fourth time I am trying to upload this. So yeah, the format sucks royally, so if you want a easy to read version of this sent to you, email me or review me your email address and it'll happen!

 

Something that I just realized, I went from typing two pages, three pages, four, small numbers then like 16 out of no where…Man something is wrong with that. Not sure why, maybe I wasn't wanting to kill this college at the time. Anyways, questions? Comments? Concerns? E-mail me at Solitocabre@netscape.net and all will be resolved. E-mails and reviews are needed, cause I have a few questions to ask. Please READ the author note at the end, a bit of a poll.

 

Chapter sixteen is here! Well, I will get on with it without further wait.

-

 

Noriega spoke. She hurt. “But, Sessho-“

And with that Sesshomaru was gone and Noriega blacked out. Washi was shocked, he had no idea Sesshomaru could understand him when he was chirping. The two children stayed quite as Naraku lifted Noriega up and headed back to the compound wondering how long Sesshomaru had been looking in on her and what Washi had said. He looked at Noriega. What Sesshomaru had said about the wounds he gave her, Naraku had thought the white inuyoukai had meant emotionally, but clearly both. He set Kenshin and Washi

down at the compound then went to an herbal room and laid her down on a silk cloth.

He mixed hers, weeds, and other things in different containers and took her ravished

fighting kimono off.

The sight brought him to shame. Back, legs, arms, chest, stomach and face covered in bruises, welts, gnashes, and cuts. He broke her left arm and even beat her where she held

his unborn.

`It will be my own fault is she is unable to hold the pups. You probably beat them to

death in her.'

As Naraku applied the mixtures to Noriega he saw the only scars she had on her body

before, knowing his would be multiple. She had explained them all to him, for he wanted

to know who had harmed what was his. The one above her hip where the shikon no tama

came out was in a small star like pattern. One on her calf, where she said a human male

had stabbed her when she refused to go out on something called a `date' for the

thousandth time. A Hobo or some name like it. Five lesser claw marks on her back

where Inuyasha had grabbed her when he wanted to throw her out for Kikyou. And the

notorious one on her neck where Sesshomaru almost killed her. The one, the only one

she allowed to call her by the name she first remembered. His own numerous wounds

would be added to the collection on her body.

 

Naraku looked at his hand noticing he had been stroking her neck over Sesshomaru's scar on her. Her body stirred from his touch slightly hurting herself. He saw her eyes open and stay small, narrow. He sat legs folded not yet finished carrying for her.

 

Seeing the sign as clear she spoke quietly tasting a little blood in her mouth.

 

“If you want to call me by that name then do so. I will not deny you.”

 

Did she deny him? “Why do you let him though.”

“He knows Kagome, he knew her. You know Noriega.”

 

Naraku stood to get something and instantly smelled it as he barley moved his foot. It

was barley there, but if she let it slip it must be immense beyond his imagination. She

was scared to death of him.

 

Naraku looked down at her. He couldn't tell by her face or body language outside of no

eye contact to the extreme. He realized a while back that he had messed up in the heat of

the moment and marked her, and there were `side effects'. He cared for her at times, but

managed to put it aside most of the time. Like now. It did not matter if she was scared of

him so long that she…. Naraku mentally shook his head. It was one thing to be scared of

a person and something else completely to be petrified, especially her. He had to try to

fix it, at least a little.

 

“Why. If you feel as if I will harm you why not defend yourself. You could try now,

and you could have easily then.”

“If you want something I will not deny you of it.”

 

He sat down after gathering bindings for her arm. “Do you trust me.”

 

She spoke feeling his hand on her should. “Yes.”

 

“Do you hate me for what I've done to you.”

 

“No and I have never hated you Naraku.”

 

“How can you say such things with such assurance if you have no trust for yourself. If

you hate yourself.”

 

“Trusting and knowing do not need to be one in the same.”

 

It was quiet for some time as he moved her limp broken arm across him to bind the bone

into place. “Am I the reason you hate yourself Noriega.”

 

“I had forgotten long ago why I hate who I am, what I am, and why I am. I don't care.”

 

“Why. Let me-“

 

Naraku stopped. His mate shouted curling up. It hurt him somewhere inside of him, a

pain in his heart perhaps. She was going to miscarry, because of what he did to her.

Noriega cried as Naraku held her. Hours later five dead pups came out from her. No

matter what she did they would not have breath to them. She cried, and wept, and her

pain filled the room. As Naraku moved to dispose of his neglect she protected the five

blood covered pups.

 

“They are not dead!”

 

Naraku remembered. Three miscarriages in a row, four in total. No mother could take

it. Perhaps he should have waited until she was of age of demons.

 

“Noriega, it was never your fault ha-“

 

“Why!? A womb is supposed to birth life not send out death why do I keep killing

them!”

 

After she passed out he took care of yet another litter of stillborns. As he stood over her

looking down at her broken body he realized that he truly must be the cause of her pain.

 

Noriega woke in the morning. Naraku had moved her to his bed, their bed. But despite him gently holding her she felt no warmth. Why live. She waited two hours to feel him stir a few minutes after dawn.

 

“I'm sorry.”

She didn't respond. It wasn't one needing one. Once Naraku realized she wasn't

speaking he stood receiving a response.

 

“What do you want me to say.”

 

Naraku walked out knowing. “Anything.”

 

Later Washi flew into her lap as she sat in the middle of the grass field infront of the

compound. He landed in her open hands.

 

`Mama I'm sorry.'

 

“Save your tears for those deserving mourning Washi. You will realize my meaning

with age.”

 

`Okay…Why do you look out, for the past three weeks to the sky out here?'

 

“Washi, do you know why you live.”

 

Washi was confused. `You saved me.'

 

“But why. You live now but for what purpose.”

 

`Because you're my Mother and I'll do what you say.'

 

“If I told you to kill me would you.” Noriega received no response. “Would you.”

 

Washi was cowering some. `No I could never do that. What do you mean.'

 

“Do not let anyone dictate your path Washi. If you do as I say very well but do not do

so because I saved you or you feel in debt. If you do as I say by your own decisions,

then nothing will hamper you Washi.”

 

`Is this one of those things I will understand when I am older?'

 

“Some go millennia without understanding this Washi, only you know if you will learn

the true meaning and grasp it.”

 

Washi felt better. `Why do you live Noriega?'

 

“I thought I knew five years ago, I thought I knew once in my life. But as I sit here and

meditate on my thoughts I bring only more questions.”

 

`About why you don't eat.'

 

“The though has passed. I do not nourish myself in anyway because I have deemed myself unimportant long before your conception Washi. But as I meditate further I find the deeper meaning to the cause. If I am unimportant, why do I exist. Why am I still here where others are not. Why are we having this conversation now.”

 

`So we can both learn.'

 

Noriega stroked him in a spot softening him. “You grow with age and wisdom Washi.

From now, you know what you must learn. But what I must learn is why someone who

is obviously important,” She stood going back to the compound, night had fallen.

“believes with all she is that she is not.”

 

Naraku woke. Another morning holding her to find his mate clearly already awake still

scared of him. And he was the only other one who could clearly tell. He always

wondered why she never left, he wouldn't blame her, just stop her. But after he dressed

in the morning, he saw her go to the same spot in the grass and site. No one bothered her,

infact it was peacefully quiet. He would find himself at times gazing at her immense

beauty in the sunlight that did make her shine, even though he had crushed her spirit.

 

“Why is it that you never ask even one of your many questions?”

 

Naraku spoke. “You ask this of me yet you meditate or site and have been for three

months straight.”

 

“I am searching for questions needed to be answered.”

 

“Very well.” Naraku stood. “How are you alive if you have not eaten in one hundred

days.”

 

“Alive and living are two separate things Naraku.”

 

“How. You show no sings of weakness, you only drink water on a regular basis.”

 

She looked down still. “I am brought food by Washi who does not wish for me to die.”

 

She stood leaving after him. Naraku felt as if her words had a double meaning, but did

not care enough to say anything.

 

Washi sat in her hands again. `If it helps Mama, you're the most important to me.'

 

“Your young words are kind Washi. If I look to my original plans as of six years ago I

have fallen prey to them…Pray….”

 

`You ponder on prey now?'

 

“The word is complex as well.”

 

`Well, when I hunt prey I do so to keep existing in life Mama.'

 

Exist. “You have far more knowledge than you realize my young phoenix falcon. Your

existence is clear, mine is anomaly.”

 

`What do you mean?'

 

“Unique one of a kind not to exist yet it does. How is it Washi, that a miko is also

youkai. Are not mikos to purify all youkai? Should I not have purified myself years

ago. But I have not because my life is important. A miko youkai is important for she

exist when she should not.”

 

`Because the mix is not for living, but it can't be for dying since you are still here.'

 

“By all means, I should not exist yet I was created. One can not be of both. Good and

evil. Light and dark. Purity and desecration.”

 

`But you told me ying and yang exist.'

 

“Balance.” Noriega set Washi in her lap then held her hands out. Two balls of energy

formed, a black one to her right and a red one to her left. They hovered once and she let

her hands down. “ But miko and youkai are not two parts to balance. Mikos kill youkai, youkai do not hunt mikos down to kill. The world will still revolve if they are

not there. They do not balance. Just as these two energies to which no one entity

should be able to create can not combine to a whole. They are both means to death of

some sort. Is my reason for being just.”

 

`Your dark powers can kill everyone even if they aren't good. The miko stuff only harms youkai. Maybe, you're supposed to choose one, since being both causes you so much pain.'

 

“If I truly am a miko Washi, and toss out all of my dark energy, I would effectively

purified myself to death. If I am more of the darkness, then like all of the feral youkai

you have seen Washi, I will have lost the ability to love, care, and so much more.”

 

`But isn't that the reason you hurt so much now.'

 

She closed her eyes momentarily. “Yes.”

 

`Will you become savage like the other youkai?'

 

“I should hope not, but I would have no idea of how evil I would be if I were to give up

on lo-“ She stopped herself. “Nothing. It is dark now Washi, you should rest for the

night.”

 

`If you're staying out here Mama don't make a decision without me.'

 

“Is it because you fear what I may become, or because you fear uncertainty.”

 

`If you decide good, or if good is the answer, then I don't wanna see you die. You

shouldn't You're my mama.'

 

Naraku walked into his room already knowing. She had always been there before him

over the months, so she stayed outside. He went to sleep.

 

Come late afternoon as the sun began to set Naraku stood next to Noriega sitting with

Washi. He saw good and evil in the form of energy spheres before her.

 

“What has been going on with you Noriega.”

 

“After a month of voidness I cam upon why we live. I later wondered upon my own

existence since I should not exist by any logical standards. A youkai can not be a miko,

and how can a miko not purify a youkai. I have no balance within myself, so I will

combine youkai energy, death energy and miko purity, death energy. If I truly am a

miko, then I will remove all of my dark energy and purify myself as I should. I f I am

of the dark side, I will remove all of my miko attributes.”

 

“Everyone has scared you Noriega but you either want to give up on life or love. Have I pushed you to this. Don't you slightly care of who you are.”

 

“I can't be anything until I do this for it has been slowly killing me since I dawned upon my miko abilities. Why I stayed weak when I thought I was ningen. With Kenshin love without caring, with you I will always love and care, and of myself I will never do both.” The sun set and she placed Washi in her lap. “Death has never scared me Naraku but being torn in multiple directions does something far worse.”

 

Naraku spoke as her hands passed over each other. “What.”

 

The black and red spheres swirled together. Naraku knew she was not supposed to

answer his questions with words. The night sky stirred as he two continued trying to

encompass and destroy the other. A cloud passed over the crescent moon and when

passed all that remained was a black sphere. Noriega laughed once.

 

“So be it.”

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OKAY!!!! And now for the million dollar question. Taking poll votes for this one so

email or review with your answers.

Do you want this fic to be….

A. Strictly Naraku and Kagome

B. Naraku/Kagome and then Sesshomaru/Kagome

C. A separate ending with Naraku and Sesshomaru each with Kagome

 

Right now….I'm already leaning towards one of these (no duh), but just asking for input.

 

Yeah, so this chapter was mainly dialogue, and confusing, yeah? Well the next chapter

explains why she's acting the way she is (well not exactly explaining, but a bit more

understanding). Anyways, the next chapter is very short for me, but (laughing) chapter

18 is longer than chapter 15 (at least it should be, no promises, it's at 26 pages now), so

I guess it all works out. Later then, and if you want anything possibly done in the story,

let me know!