InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Frozen ❯ Chapter 14: In Placing the Blame ( Chapter 16 )

Title: Frozen
Author: DeityOfDeath
Archive: Yes please...
Pairings: Inu Yasha/ various, Inu Yasha/Sesshomaru, Inu Yasha/Kouga mentions of Inu Yasha/Kagome and Inu Yasha/ Kikyo
Category: Drama, romance, slash, Mpreg, yaoi
rating: NC-17/R
Spoilers: Most likely.
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemon, Non-con, Mpreg, Incest, SPOILERS!
Disclaimers: I never have nor will I ever own Inu Yasha or its chars. They are property of Rumiko Takashi and major companies.

Note from Author: Thank You for reading and supporting fan fiction! Enjoy and please review!

The chapter titles are lyrics from the song "Frozen” by Madonna


Chapter 14: In Placing the Blame

The soft cries and movement woke me from my deep sleep and I inhaled catching the all too familiar scent of soiled garments. I blinked my eyes open and struggled to sit up only to have Kouga at my side putting his hand on my chest halting my movements. He gently lifted our daughter into his arms and walked close to the fire pit where he had already set out furs and what looked to be a slowly steaming bowl of water. I watched from my bed as he lifted her out of her dirty furs and tossed them aside and gently took a clean cloth and proceeded to wipe her down with the water.

Her cries became louder at what seemed the unfairness of it all or perhaps just the fact that the parts of her that weren't being wiped were exposed to the chill of the air. She kicked her little feet which he soon wiped down as well as her small black tail. He gently moved her to and fro as he thoroughly cleaned her and when he was done he lifted her up and grinned at her before wrapping her.

Ginta and Hakaku came from the entrance of the cave to see the little noise maker with their tails tucked between their legs as they did so, showing me that they meant no harm.

“She definitely looks like you boss,” said Ginta with a small grin.

“Ayame is totally going to kill you when she finds out boss,” said Hakaku as he stared down at her noting all her features, “There's no denying she's yours.”

“She'll be angry for a bit but she'll come to understand,” he said as he handed me my daughter. I immediately placed her against my swollen chest watching as she suckled noisily.

Kouga stood and took the bowl of dirty water outside the cave allowing a cold blast of air in as he did so. A minute later he entered again, the bowl filled over the top with snow. He dumped the snow into a small pot over the fire and grabbed another cloth placing it in the now clean bowl.

As he did that I glanced around the cave noting Sesshomaru was no where to be found.

Ginta smiled at me, “Your brother said he would return. Didn't really say where he was going though.”

I nodded and looked down at my daughter and then switched her to my other nipple which she latched onto with vigor.

I heard the sound of water being poured and looked up to watch as Kouga poured the melted snow into the bowl.

“When this cools you need to be washed,” Kouga said as he turned to look at me.

I blushed and nodded, “I have clean robes in the corner next to the pile of furs. There are also cloths set aside...” I blushed harder than I should have as I said the next, “To help contain the bleeding.”

“I figured as much,” said Kouga as he approached with the bowl of water which had dried herbs soaking in it.

“I know it seems embarrassing but you really don't have to worry. You're the first male hanyou I've known to carry but there are male demons that carry and birth young, can't say that I personally know any of them. Your brother might. He didn't seem surprised that you were carrying either, seemed as though we both had the same idea to go searching for you.”

I nodded and removed my little piglet from my chest and wiped away stray milk from her mouth as I placed her against my chest rubbing gently until the release of pent up air happened twice. Kouga held out his hands and I passed her to him and watched as he turned around and called Ginta over.

“Watch her for a bit,” he said as handed her over to Ginta.

Ginta grinned and went over to the fireplace with her and Hakaku.

Kouga leaned over and helped me into a sitting position, “We're going to need more clean water; I'll leave it to you, call if you need anything. Ginta and Hakaku are watching the cub so take your time.”

He left the bowl with the rag where I could reach and stood up grabbing another of my pilfered bowls before heading outside. I took care to clean thoroughly ridding myself of blood and sweat and had managed to clean the most embarrassing of places before Kouga returned. He began to boil the fresh snow adding more good smelling herbs to the mix as he did so. He replaced the pink tinged water with fresh and returned to help me wash my back and hair.

I was still exhausted and even though Kouga had seen my most intimate parts I couldn't help but blush as he gently scrubbed the places I couldn't reach. As he did so I couldn't help but feel jealous of Ayame. She had gained a good mate in Kouga. He would make sure her and any future cubs they had were well cared and provided for.

I startled out of my thoughts when his hands stopped moving and he stood up and walked across the cave fetching my clean clothes and with them the absorbent cloths. He left to go dump the dirty water outside leaving me to my dressing and personal care. I was quick at dressing and as I redressed myself I assessed my body and its healing and was happy to note that now I was no longer carrying I was healing at my normal rate. Whenever I carried I seemed to heal just a bit slower, I could only assume that was because my body was trying to keep the pup healthy and ensure its care and safety, though it was not nearly enough to save my first pup.

Thinking back on it had brought tears to my eyes for no reason other than I always seemed a bit more sentimental and emotional after birthing.

Even though I was hungry I found myself yawning and snuggling back into my bed of furs and blankets. I couldn't help but stare in the direction of my small daughter almost worriedly and beckoning until finally Ginta stood up and brought her over to me. Her tiny eyes were closed and she too seemed sleepy as she stretched and yawned in her fresh swaddling. I smiled and pulled her against me and under the covers inhaling her scent and in turn putting my own scent on her. I tucked her under my chin and felt myself pulled into sleep with her soft snores and intakes of breath as my lullaby.

Weird visions of pups of all ages running around as I watched them; I noted they all had various shades of moonlight shaded hair, some had straight and others had wavy and all had golden eyes. Girls and boys alike ran around play fighting and chasing and I watched happily as a conversation happened somewhere close. The conversation grew in strength and soon the scenery with the pups faded out and I slowly felt myself wake. I left my eyes closed hoping sleep would return and with it the pleasant dream I had left behind.

“He did birth my cub so he should come with me back to the caves. He would have many providers and our daughter could grow up with other cubs from the wolf tribe,” Kouga said in a hushed whisper.

“Yes, and I am sure your mate would have no qualms with you bringing home another mate who just so happened to birth a cub by you before her,” I heard Sesshomaru deadpan softly.

“Ayame is my mate and that means she is also a leader among our packs, as so she understands that it is my duty to care and provide for a cub I have sired, no matter the circumstances. It is also not unusual for a pack leader to have more than one mate, especially in situations like ours where two packs have been combined,” said Kouga as if his were the only right answer.

“She may know all of this but matters of the heart are seldom based on fact and are harder to deal with than you think. Do you truly believe the members of her pack would accept InuYasha without complaint or incident?”

“What about you? Do you think you and InuYasha will be able to live together under the same roof? How will InuYasha feel suddenly being asked to move in with you in the home you denied him for so…many years,” Kouga said but there was no true venom in his words just true questioning.

Sesshomaru's and Kouga's words echoed in my mind as I finally found my self fully awake and debating about interrupting their conversation.

“I cannot guess InuYasha's feelings I can offer what I thinki would be a better living situation for all involved. Besides…your mate is carrying and is pretty close to delivering herself within the next season and stress in such a situation is unwanted,” Sesshomaru commented again.

Kouga stayed silent and I could only imagine the turmoil rolling through his mind at this situation so I finally took a deep breath and stretched before pulling my daughter tight against my chest and sitting up, making sure that they heard me as I did so. I saw both of them turn to look at me and felt a heavy dread fill me.

I sighed and took a deep breath before speaking, “I appreciate the help both of you have given me but I can raise her on my own. I understand your concern but this not the first time I've…” I caught myself and tried again, “I am plenty capable of caring for myself and my daughter.”

“And you plan to raise her in a hillside between two territories? Or do you plan to travel with her like you yourself did as a child,” Asked Sesshomaru giving me the weight of his golden eyed stare.

“You have no right to judge me Sesshomaru. Not everyone can have the luck or joy of being raised in a palace with everything they need provided for them. I've done fine for myself. I've survived and been stronger for it. I've…I've been through things you've only imagined and came out stronger for it so don't either of you go thinking you can make decisions for me.”

“You have to remember InuYasha, this is not a male pup, a young girl needs more than traveling from place to place,” Sesshomaru reminded.

I could feel the thoughts and worries giving me a headache and with it came the onset of tears from no where. I tried to keep them in forcing my sight to go wobbly as my eyes grew hotter.

“We're not trying to force you into anything InuYasha, we just want you to know that you don't have to do this alone. I think what Sesshomaru is trying to say is that there is more than one reason he left Rin to grow up with Kaede. I'm going to return to my caves and see how everything is going but I'll return,” and with that the sound of Kouga standing and leaving filled my ears which swiveled in the direction of the cave entrance.

Sesshomaru didn't say anything at first as he stood up but before he left he softly called back to me, “One day InuYasha we shall talk of your hardships. Neither the wolf prince nor I are stupid, we will have you come clean to us before we part ways no matter the decision and if I must make others pay for their actions I will.”

I was left alone in my quiet hillside with my daughter who seemed to sense my tears and started crying herself until it built up into frustrated yowls. I wiped my eyes and rocked her singing softly some childhood song my mother used to sing to me as she quieted down and eventually fell back into a serene slumber. I stared down at her and found my thoughts a horribly confused jumble with no clear answer coming to me no matter how much I wished the perfect one would stand out.

I lay down and curled in on myself and my slumbering daughter allowing the occasional tear to escape and fall as I thought of all I had lost and how I would do anything to keep this little one safe and with me until she grew old enough that she left on her own accord. I was not going to willingly give up this precious daughter. And as I thought it I thought to myself how lucky I was that I had choices now that I hadn't had before. And I let the exhaustion pull me under once again as I hoped an answer would come to me.

To Be Continued….

So… another fic idea came into my head. I'm jotting it down like I did for this one and so far I have at least two chapters worth of writing. It's a KougaXInuYasha fic. So far the only one of those I've officially done is one that leads to SesshomaruXInuYasha. So…we'll see where the muse leads us. Thank you for reading. More coming soon….

Kat