InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ He Will Be Loved ❯ My deepest fear.... ( Chapter 30 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/n: See Chp. 1




Chapter 30: My deepest fear.....




The morning sun did nothing but crash into the middle aged man's only sancutary of peace he called sleep. InuYasha opened his tired, dull amber eyes and groaned that the pitfall that was his life was a reality. Tommorrow was the wedding.

"InuYasha, it's a quarter pass six. Kikyo is most likely waiting." The stern voice that was Sesshomaru called through the door.


The younger of the two brothers threw the thick quilts over his visage. "I'm not going!" He yelled like a little kid, despite his thirty-six years of senority.


Sesshomaru let out a aggravated sigh. "You will not fuck up my morning, little brother. Just get out of bed and get ready."

"You can't make me!" He countered back.

'We'll see about that.' He maliciously thought before his wife's voice of reason flowed though his brain and he sighed. "I'll let you drive the lamborghini." Sesshomaru said trying to compromise.


It was a silence and rumbling and thumping before the door swung open and the mass of matted silver and dull gold that was InuYasha stood there. "Alright, but Kikyo goes in the trunk."

Sesshomaru gave him insouciant shrugg and tossed him the car keys. "As long as she gets here in one piece." He said before walking away.


"That's not a promise I can keep." He menacingly whispered as he gripped the keys.


Kagome couldn't think of sleeping after what happend the night before. She sat on the balcony of the large estate and enjoyed the nice weather and wonderful view. It was the only thing that calmed her. It was the only thing that kept her sane....somewhat.

"Kagome, what are you doing up so early?" Hojo questioned as he stood at the sliding glass doors.

"Couldn't sleep." She lightly answered.

Hojo wanted to ask why, but was afraid that his father's name would tumble out of her mouth. "You sick?" He asked hoping that was it.

"No, just nervous. I can't believe it's tommorrow."

"Well, you don't have to be nervous. You're doing the right thing here, Kags."

She hated the way it sounded coming from him. She just turned to meet his gaze and nodded. "Okay."

"So, you good?"

She nodded again. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"Alright." He said before closing the doors.

Once Hojo was out of her sight, she stuck out her tongue in a childish way. She humphed as she folded her arms. Kagome looked off into oblivion and heard the roaring engine of a car and quickly stood up.

She could see a splash of silver and red fly down the paved asphalt. She watched it until all she could see was a a little red dot and all she could hear was the light purr of the engine gradually dissipate into the void of nothingness. "InuYasha." She whispered.





Red heels clicked hard against the tiled floor as long, lean legs worked them. Obsidian hair flew in the imaginary wind as it whipped around a perfect face hidden by large sunglasses.

"Ms. Kikyo?! Ms. Kikyo?!" A small stubby man yelled after her as he struggled with the thousands of bags she brought along with her.

The woman in question paid him no mind as her thoughts were set on the delicious hunk of man that was still her husband, despite what he said. She was daddy's little girl and she always got what she wanted. She didn't know why now would be any different. She didn't want to blackmail. It just wasn't her mode of operation, but she would do anything to get what she wanted, and that was.....


"InuYasha." She whispered as she took of her glasses and stared down the bronzed god with hunger. He leaned against the gallarado looking every bit of scrumptious as the unusually high morning sun made him glow in glory.


InuYasha felt ugly and aggravated as he watched her eye fuck him. "Come on, Kikyo. I ain't got all day."

"I wouldn't want to keep my Yashie." Kikyo cooed as she pinched his cheek.

He retracted from her her hands like they were acid. "Don't push it."

Kikyo gave him a look, but then shook it off and smiled brightly. "Okay, okay. Let's just go."

InuYasha looked behind her and gawked at all the luggage. "Not with all that crap you're not."

"What crap? This is just my little neccesities."

"Little?!" He yelled before sighing. "Look. You can bring two bags from that mountain of crap. That's it. No negotiating."

"Two?! Five of those bags are my hair products alone."

InuYasha folded his arms. "You want to ride Greyhound?"

"Okay." She said before she turned around and tried to decide which two bags she could take. "I'll take that one and," She drawled as she looked over her pickings."That one." She quickly said.

"Alright, let's go." He said walking over to the driver's side and opening the door.

"Aren't you going to put them in?"

He gave her one look before he popped the trunk and got in the car. Kikyo humphed as she hauled the heavy bags into the rear of the car.

"Ms. Kikyo, what to do with the rest?" The stubby man asked.

"Take them back home." She said before shutting the car trunk and getting into the car.

The man groaned as he watched the sports car speed off into the horizon, leaving him with the bags.



"God, it's so dull in here. Turn the radio on." Kikyo said reaching her hand for the radio before InuYasha slapped it away.

"Don't touch my radio."

Kikyo scoffed, but folded her arms and looked out the window watching the world fastforward before her.

It was a silence between the two and InuYasha enjoyed it. The last thing he wanted was to hear her voice. He didn't know what he would do to her if she opened that Venus Flytrap she called a mouth.

"InuYasha?" She asked in the smallest voice.

He mentally cursed. 'So much for my wishes.' "What?"

"I'm sorry, you know. I really am. I just want you to know that."

InuYasha gripped the steering wheel hard. "Well, now I know." Despite what happenend, he was still torn up about that. The wounds were still raw and pulsating through him.

"Well, what do you think about it?" Kikyo asked.

InuYasha sighed hard and gripped the steering wheel harder. "I don't think nothing of it. Just drop it, okay." He tried to stay calm, but if Kikyo kept poking the angry bull, she was going to get the horns

"Alright." She calmly said before looking back out the window.




Kagome sat idly at the counter in the huge kitchen. She drummed her fingers against the hardwood surface in boredem. It was becoming dead in this house as each minute passed by and Kagome was getting sick of it. Hojo was so boring and dry. Sango and Miroku were so wrapped up into themselves. She didn't want to admit it, but Rin reminded her too much of her sugar rushed friends. Kagome didn't even want to consider Sesshomaru since he was practically made up of stone like he looked Medusa in the face when he was born. Who could she really talk to?

"Lady Kagome?" Benson said as he came into the kitchen preparing for his rountine cleaning until he saw the eighteen year old beauty sitting all alone with only the melancholy look on her face as an expression.

Kagome turned around to see the servant that she have grown to respect. "Hey, Benson."

"What seems to be the problem?" He said sitting next to her.

"Just a couple of things that's been bothering me lately."

"Like Lord InuYasha and Master Hojo."

Kagome dropped her head in shame. "Yeah." She whispered.

"Well, I guess you couldn't keep that secret away from Master Hojo for too long."

Kagome snapped her head up in suprise. "How do you know? Who told?" She panicked, hoping it wasn't word around the house that she was a common slut.

"No one. It is my butler intution." He joked.

"I don't know what to do?" Kagome said throwing her hands in the air in utter defeat.

"Do you love Master Hojo?" Benson asked.

"Yeah, I do." Kagome could say that without lying. She loved Hojo with all of her heart, but was it enough to spend the rest of her life waking up with him?

"More than Lord InuYasha."

Kagome looked at Benson and searched through his old tired eyes that has probably seen more than she could ever imagine. "No." She whispered ever so lightly.

Benson shook his head and hopped off the stool. "And you say, you don't know what to do." He said before walking away.

"I wish it was that simple." She said to herself.

"Hey, babe." Hojo said walking in the kitchen before planting a kiss to her cheek. "I didn't see you all day."

"Yeah, I've been looking around the house. I didn't get a chance to appreciate it the last time we were here." Kagome lied. She then stopped to evaluate how many lies she has told Hojo in the past month. Then she pondered on how they came out her mouth like vomit; digusting and vile.

"Well, it is a huge house. I might buy you one in a little city outside of Tokyo when we get there." He said as he grabbed an apple out of a fruit basket that was on the counter.

"You don't have to. I don't know what I would do with all of that space."

"We'll get someone like Benson. Plus, you'll have a lot of time at home, you know, with the kids and all."

The words just didn't sound right traveling through Kagome's ear. A chill of life with him struck down her back like a bolt of lightning. "Yeah, but I'll be going to work, right?"

"Why would you? I'll be working while you take care of our children."

Now she was furious. Kagome's dream was way beyond being a stay-at-home mom. "So, I'm suppose to be barefoot and pregnant while you go out and make something of yourself?"

"Honey, you're turning every word I say into some evil plan. I just don't want you to lift a finger. I want to treat you like a queen."

"Or the queen's serving wench." Kagome scoffed.

"Hey, I just wanted to make your life better."

"I didn't ask you to. My life is fine as is!" She shouted.

"If your life was so fine, then you wouldn't have to sneak off and...."

“Do I detect hostility between the two of you?” Sesshomaru interrupted as he walked into the kitchen. He could hear the couple arguing and decided to break it up before things got worse and InuYasha was brought up.

Kagome held her head down and blushed. She didn't want anybody in the house to know that her and Hojo relationship wasn't anything but perfect.

Hojo scowled his uncle. “Why do you care?” He hissed with poisoned venom.

Sesshomaru was unscaved from the attack. “I don’t. What I do care about is that Kikyo will be here any minute and I want you on your best behavior.”

Upon hearing the woman's name, Kagome completely froze. "Why is she coming?" She quickly said without the consequence of her words.

"How do you know Kikyo? I never told you about her." Hojo said.

"Um...nevermind that." Sesshomaru quickly said when he figured where this was going. "What's important is that you treat Kikyo with utmost respect."

“I don’t owe that woman an ounce of my respect.”

“If you do not give her respect, then you’ll being owing a lot more than you think.”

Hojo folded his arms and grumbled. He knew all about Kikyo trying to milk his family for all they were worth. He didn't like his father or uncle right now, but he wouldn't let that grubby golddigger get her hands on anything.

"Hojo, what does he mean?" Kagome asked. She didn't know what was going on since her fiance always kept her in the dark.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Hojo said, but Kagome knew it was far from nothing.

*Ding Dong*

“We’re here!” A feminine voice shouted.

“Now, here she is. Go in there and greet her.”

Hojo sighed before walking into the living room to the see the retched face of his ‘mother-in-law’ “Hey, Kikyo.”

“What? All I get is a 'Hey, Kikyo.'?" She said as she reached to hug her son-in-law.

Hojo gave her a saccharin smile and moved out of her way. "Don't push it." He said.

Kagome could only look at the woman and feel a less than what she was. All she could remember of her was when she dropped by InuYasha's house that day. "Hi." She squeaked.

Kikyo looked over to the young woman and smiled. "You must be Hojo's fiance. You're very pretty." She complimented.

Kagome didn't know why the compliment meant so much to her. She wanted to be accepted by this woman. She wanted to know that she wasn't some pauper compared to this princess. "Thank you." Kagome blushed.

"With some make-up and a slamming outfit, you could be gorgeous." Kikyo said before pinching her cheek. "You're so cute."

Kikyo's condescending tone made Kagome's face hot with embarrassment. She looked over to InuYasha who gave her those guilt filled eyes of his. "Thanks. I have to go." Kagome said before walking off and Hojo sneered Kikyo and followed.

"Kikyo, we're so happy that you came." Sesshomaru said as he moved in to give the woman a hug to try and patch the awkward scene.

InuYasha, for one, was taken back by the affection he showed his ex-wife. Hell, he didn't even do that for Hojo. 'This must be serious for him to hug her like that.' InuYasha thought to himself.

"Well, thank you, Sessh. I appreciate it."

"InuYasha will lead you to your room."

"The hell I will." InuYasha countered back. "Why can't Benson do it? Why have a butler if he doesn't actually do anything?"

"Like I said, InuYasha will lead you to your room." Sesshomaru said before shooting a glare at his little brother. "Isn't that right, InuYasha." He said through clenched teeth.

"Sure, come on, Kikyo." InuYasha sighed defeatedly before taking a bag and walking towards the steps.




"Here's your room." InuYasha gloomy said as he dropped the bags in the luxiourious bedroom with an adjoined master bath.

Kikyo giggled and ran to open the glass double doors that led to the balcony. She breathed in the air and smiled. She looked over the eden Sesshomaru made of his backyard. "It's gorgeous."

InuYasha nodded. "Yeah, it's great. So, lunch will be ready in..."

"Remember we asked Sessh to rent this to us for a weekend." Kikyo said gazing off into the world before her.

InuYasha ceased his sentence. He was speechless at what she said to him. How dare she have the nerve to say something like that to him after what she did.

"InuYasha, don't you remember?" Kikyo said turning around to lock amber eyes with her deep cocoa ones. She smiled brightly with the best set of teeth money could buy, but it's sincerity was priceless.

"How could I not?" InuYasha whispered.

"We ran in the gardens. Drank tea under the sun. I even helped you put the designs on the gazeebo." Kikyo finished with a giggle.

InuYasha thought of the warm and happy times he'd spent with his wife. To remember that only brought anger in his vains. "All that and you still managed to fuck it." InuYasha harshly snapped.

"InuYasha, I'm sorry. I really am. I love you and I know you love me, too."

He couldn't do anything but shake his head.

"We were a great team. You can't deny it." Kikyo said walking towards him.

"Yeah, but all that ended when it became a three man squad." He said before walking out of the room. He stormed down the hallways in anger. InuYasha couldn't believe her nerve. She cheated on him. She ruined everything, so why did he feel like the bad guy?

InuYasha walked passed Kagome's room and couldn't help but to stop and look at the door. He wanted to love her so bad, but she wouldn't let him. He lifted his hand to the door then stopped. Every fiber in his body knew it was insane, but maybe, in his own way, he was insane. InuYasha knocked lightly on the door and waited to see her face.

Kagome opened the door was shocked to say the least. The silver haired man that haunted her most naughtiest dreams and held her heart captive was at her door. "InuYasha?"

InuYasha looked up and could only stare into her eyes. "Hey." He whispered.

Kagome bit her lip then looked to her feet. "Hey." She responded back.

"Can I come in?" He simply said. His eyes bore into her and melted them away. They dove so far deep he was lost into her limitless cloudy blue eyes.

Those four little words done Kagome in. She knew it was wrong, but the look in his eyes soothed her. "Sure." She said before stepping back to let him in. She then shut the door.





Kikyo didn't want InuYasha to know she followed him. She had no idea what she was in store for until he stopped at a door. She simply thought it was his room, but, to her suprise, it belonged to the face of a young girl. The same face she knew was engaged to be married to Hojo. The same face that InuYasha seemed to be in love with.

Kikyo knew she wasn't jumping to conclusions. The look he gave the girl told her all she needed to know. He loved her. He loved this young tart more than he loved her. Any fool could see with their own two eyes. "InuYasha, you bastard, I can't believe you." Kikyo said before sneaking back to her room.




"I'm sorry about what Kikyo said earlier today." InuYasha said rubbing Kagome's thigh. They ended on the balcony's warm concrete floor.

"It's okay." Kagome hid her face behind the wall of her knees. "It did make me feel like shit, though." She admitted.

InuYasha chuckled. "Yeah, she has a tendency to do that." He looked over to Kagome amd regretted that he shot her down that day at the university. 'What was I thinking?' He thought as he awed at her beauty. She only wore a simple pair of blue jeans and top, but, to him, she looked like a goddess.

Kagome noticed InuYasha staring intently at her. She blushed under his demanding gaze. Just in his eyes, he asked for too much. He desired her. "What are you looking at?" She asked.

"You." He simply said with a smile as he looked deeply into her eyes.

Kagome didn't have anything to say to that. She was afraid the wrong thing would come out her mouth.

"Look, about last night..." InuYasha began.

"Stop." Kagome interrupted. "Please, don't bring that back up."

InuYasha nodded. "You're right, but I want you to know..."

"Don't." She clipped. "I already know." She whispered.

"I love you." He finished.

"See, InuYasha, we can't even talk right." Kagome said getting up before a hand grabbed her wrist. She looked down and the sunset collided with the ocean. Kagome wanted to look away but his gaze drew her in like a magnet.

"Kagome, I do love you, and I will not deny it. Sit back down." Kagome nodded and sat next to InuYasha. "Let us just have these few minutes." He said pushing her silky hair away from her face. He carressed the side of her jaw and loved the soft, warm feel of it.

Kagome felt his lips gravitate towards her and she was frozen in her spot. His face got closer to hers and she immediately closed her eyes to prepare for the kiss. She aniticipated his lips against hers. She waited for their lips to connect. Instead, Kagome felt a soft peck against her cheek. She quickly opened her eyes.

InuYasha smiled. "I still respect you. If you don't want me to kiss you, then I won't kiss you."

Kagome blushed. He could've kissed her if he wanted to. He could've made love to her on this ground if he wanted to. She knew that and he knew that, but he cared enough not to. InuYasha knew she wasn't ready for that. "Thanks." Kagome said softly.

"I can't force you to choose between Hojo and me. I just want you to be happy." He sincerely said. "I really want you to have the best in life."

Kagome wanted to cry. She wanted to break down right infront of him ."InuYasha, you've been really good to me. A real gentelman." She admitted.

InuYasha nodded. "Because I care about you so much." He said wrapping his arms around her shoulder and bringing her into his embrace.

They stayed that way for the whole afternoon. In each others arms. No words were needed because their hearts spoke paragraphs. Both loved each other with their whole being and both dreaded tommorrow when they were to be no more.


A/n: Update took too long.