InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I Can't Love You Like This ❯ Chapter 3

Author note: The road of love is a rocky and sometimes horrible place. And so it's also when the plot bunnies run away. I swear this was probably one of the most disconnected chapters I have ever written. I don't understand what went wrong but like **bep** if I'm gonna make that stand in my way. I feel it's a little short but then again it's better than nothing. Hopefully the next chapter will be up within the week, if only I can catch my bunnies again.

Summary: No dance on roses even after “I love you”.

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha nor Sesshoumaru or any other character from the show.

Pairing/Rating: Sesshoumaru/InuYasha. Mature readers only since it contains serious subjects.

Warning: Incest, non-con/rape, m/m, anal, oral, solo, voyeurism, death wish.

Read, Enjoy and Review.

I Can't Love You Like This
By Monkan

Chapter 3

The soft caress over his knuckles soothed his mind as he looked up at his InuYasha. The long black hair fell over his shoulders, much to long for a man but not unsuitable for him. Their equal dark eyes meet and Sesshoumaru felt like he was drowning in them. Without being able to stop himself he rose from the sofa and his face came closer to InuYasha's, his lips just inches away when InuYasha flinched back as if something vile was about to touch him.

Sesshoumaru felt his heart sink as his little brother looked away, at anything but at him.

'It can't be helped.'

He settled with just a simple kiss on InuYasha's brow before he let go with a weak smile. “I'll get dinner ready in an hour. Why don't you take a shower before that?”

InuYasha just stood there and watched his brother disappear into the kitchen. He felt pale and shaken from the nearly kiss on his lips.

He still questioned if it were a good idea to come back.

-o-o-o-o-

One hour later as they ate dinner in silence InuYasha couldn't help but sneak glances at his brother. He was nervous, that he couldn't deny but he also took notice of little details he had until now failed to see.

To anyone it looked like Sesshoumaru concentrated on his food instead of the occupant with him. The way he ate was simple but also in some way..... elegant? No, no. That was ridiculous. Only people born with a silver spoon in their mouth knew how to eat elegant. Was there even some way to eat elegant? No, no.

InuYasha shook his head to get rid of the thoughts and earned himself a strange look from Sesshoumaru.

“Nothing.” he mumbled on his food, looking down.

He was just being ridiculous.

The phone rang. Sesshoumaru stood up after just the first signal and walked over to the disturbing thing. As he came closer he reached out and with fluent work pushed the answer bottom before swiftly placing it against his ear.

“Sesshoumaru speaking.” he said calmly before his face froze. For a moment he didn't do anything but then he turned around toward InuYasha.

“It's for you.” he said in a low voice.

InuYasha blinked once before he too got up and when he took the phone from his elder brother, the other walked back to the table.

“Hello?” he answered.

“InuYasha?”

His heart took a leap as the blood in his head froze. Kagome. He had actually forgotten about her. Turning his back to Sesshoumaru who stood with his back to InuYasha he spoke to his girlfriend.

As the conversation turned into minutes InuYasha, who were once more happy to talk to his girl forgot about his brother being in the same room, standing quietly behind him.

He didn't notice Sesshoumaru's hands gripping the table edge.

“Yeah I'll see you tomorrow.”

-o-o-o-o-

The sweet slumber that had consumed him for what seemed like only minutes were disturbed by the annoying alarm clock above his head. Instead of just getting up he turned over and buried his ear into the pillow. The softness embracing him and welcoming him back to the realm of dreams.

Until the alarm clock was turned of. InuYasha was just happy for the silence so he didn't notice that someone had actually turned it of. A hand caressed his face before coming to a stop on his throat.

“Wake up, love.” whispered into his ear before soft lips were placed on his briefly.

InuYasha began to frown and the lips left his. The hand was gone too as he tried to place the voice on some familiar plane in his mind. He had heard it before but where.....

He bolted right up in bed and looked wildly around until he came face to face with the person the voice belonged to. Silvery hair hung down past his shoulders. A smile or maybe even a smirk decorated his lips.

InuYasha turned a deep shade of red as he realized just what had happened. His hand went to his lips as he stared wide eyed at the other.

“Breakfast is almost done. Get up now or you will be late for school.” Sesshoumaru said seriously without moving.

But when InuYasha didn't show any sign of leaving the bed he took a step closer until he could lean his hands on the bed and his face came closer to InuYasha's.

“Or maybe you just want me to kiss you again?” he said seductively.

InuYasha jumped out of bed to the other side, even his ears were beet red as he stared shocked at the other.

Sesshoumaru turned around and left the room, not letting it on that he found InuYasha's actions cute.

-o-o-o-o-o-

School went on like normal. InuYasha didn't know why he thought everything would be different after everything that had happened. The others in class didn't notice anything strange with him and when he saw Kagome he felt a little happier and everything seemed easier to understand as long as he could avoid them.

The day went it's pace and finally, much to the students delight, the final bell rang out through out the ground. Students filled out the yard as they left to either go for cram school, sport or just hang out in the arcade.

Among all the hundreds of students walked InuYasha with Kagome on his arm talking with a few of their friends as they were leaving until....

“Hey, look at him.”

“Who is he?”

“Is he waiting for someone?”

“He's so hot.”

“Model?”

“Ooh, he's looking this way.”

InuYasha didn't understand what was going on until he saw a glimpse of silver hair through the crowd.

'Oh crap.' was all he could think before he saw his brother standing at the gate of school, waiting for him. His hair free over his neck. Wearing an open white shirt with a grey vest under. He had black trousers on that covered him down to his heels. Silver ornaments around his neck in the form of a long chain and branches wrapping around it, trapping whatever they could reach. While he looked bored of the attention the school kids were giving him he kept looking for InuYasha.

When Sesshoumaru saw InuYasha he didn't show much change on his face but InuYasha could see the angry flare in his eyes and he wondered why for a moment until it hit him that Kagome was still clinging onto his arm.

“I have to go, see you tomorrow.” InuYasha promised Kagome before leaving her behind to leave with his brother.

-o-o-o-o-

As soon as they were safely inside the door InuYasha turned around to ask what the hell was wrong with him when he was embraced by strong arms. His face was pressed against Sesshoumaru's chest and a hand went into his hair as slender digits entwined with the bangs.

“Wha-wha-what?” tried InuYasha to ask.

The embrace got tighter. “I can't stand to see that bitch near you.”

InuYasha blinked once as he tried to process the words in his brain.

“I hate her! She can't have you! Never!” Sesshoumaru continuously said.

Because of the short room for air InuYasha couldn't bring his voice out but the closeness between their bodies were unsettling and he did everything he could to press back the fear and horror of being in his brothers arms again. Still he couldn't help how stiff his entire body became. His throat closed in fear, not letting him scream. He couldn't fight back. His arms wouldn't move and his legs were shaking so bad he wasn't sure he was even standing anymore.

“B-b-” InuYasha tried as his eyes, tinted with fear, stared over Sesshoumaru's shoulder. “----brother?” came a weak whisper.

But it was enough to get Sesshoumaru's attention and realizing what he was doing, let go but as soon as his arms disappeared InuYasha wasn't able to stand. He fell to the floor but didn't make it to rock bottom as the same arms caught him just millimetres from the ground.

InuYasha sat in a rather awkward way. His legs under him but he was being held by strong arms around his waist. It didn't move into his mind that his legs had give out under him. Only strong breathing against his ear hauled him back to that fateful night. In his memory he was screaming from the violation.

“-no.” he whimpered. “No. no. no. no. no. no.”

“InuYasha?” asked the older brother concerned.

“No.” he felt dirty. Used. So filthy that all could see it.

He saw that the other was on the verge of panic, trapped in his own mind. With InuYasha's whimpers only growing louder he desperately tried to get his attention and without even thinking about it did the first thing that came to mind. He slapped InuYasha.

His hand stung and he tried to wrap his mind around what he had just done.

A shocked expression covered InuYasha's mind as his amber eyes regained it's awareness. His cheek stained red from the slap and the area hurt now that he was aware of the pain. He looked confused for a moment before his hand reached up to touch the tender area.

The ground came up to greet him as he realized he was finally sitting down. Then someone fell down in front of him and it was only then that he once more realized Sesshoumaru was with him.

The older brother sat on his knees, one hand supporting him against the floor while the other covered his eyes. His shoulder were shaking as if he were trying to suppress his feelings or tears.

For uncounted minutes sat they there, unmoving and unsure of what to do next.

“If only I could take it back. If only I could take it all back.” Sesshoumaru chanted more to himself than InuYasha. “Then it wouldn't be so painful for you or me.”

For the first time after confessing his love and getting InuYasha back home, only the next day and he already wasn't sure if he could make it. His heart felt like it would explode with sorrow and pain. He regretted everything. If only none of it had been done then---

For another pause of several minutes neither moved or talked. Sesshoumaru were breaking down even more the longer he remained in his own personal hell.

“Bro--” InuYasha started without knowing what he would say but he was cut of.

“I'm a beast. I'm crazy. I shouldn't even have these feelings for you.” what sounded like a sob interrupted his words. “Why can't it be me?”

He didn't want to see this. He didn't want to see his otherwise strong-headed brother break like this. He didn't want to see it. He didn't want to hear the denial and unacceptable words coming from his mouth.

The feeling of being dirty lingering on his mind but if he didn't do anything, the damage might be greater. That he couldn't live with either.

Taking a breath that wouldn't go down he let it out. All though his hand trembled and hesitated he still demanded it to reach out. Inching closer his fingers came in contact with Sesshoumaru's shoulders. Both of them tensed but InuYasha took courage that Sesshoumaru didn't show any signs of looking up or breaking from his current state.

Without any strength in his arms or fingers he wrapped them around Sesshoumaru's neck loosely. His inside felt like it was shivering but he couldn't let it domain him.

Comfort wasn't something he was used to give to others. Now he realized just how lucky he had been to have Sesshoumaru as his family. How many times as a child, when their parents still lived with them hadn't he been comforted by this person? Protected by him? Loved.... by him?

Somehow it calmed his heart knowing nothing was happening that he couldn't control.

Then all of a sudden arms circled around his waist and held him close. It was a strange feeling since he wasn't used to this affection and his breath caught in his throat. He knew he shouldn't allow this but then again, thinking about the consequences hasn't been his strong side. Besides... it didn't really matter right now.

InuYasha lay his head against Sesshoumaru's, his eyes drifted close as time passed slower until he was sure it had stopped moving at all.

He couldn't wash away the feelings from the rape of his mind, there would be times he would no doubt find his brothers touch to be intolerable and scary. The only thing he was sure of was that if he left his brother be then it would definitely kill him.

But then again....

Maybe they were both a little crazy.

To be continued!