InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Identity Crisis ❯ Chapter Nine ( Chapter 9 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi.

Chapter Nine

"Sango," Miroku greeted, bowing politely.

She acknowledged him with a slight nod of her head. He stopped in front of her. "You gave me a scare this morning," he began, a slight teasing tone seeping into his voice. He was not about to admit the full extent of his worry to himself, much less to Sango.

"I did?"

"Well, I must admit I was a bit alarmed to wake this morning and find you gone," he admitted casually, as if waking up together were an everyday occurrence.

"Oh, that," she said, looking away. "I woke early and went to get Kirara, so we could do some exploring. I… didn't want to disturb you."

"So did you find anything?" He decided that it would be best to drop the subject of her disappearance for now. She already seemed to be upset enough that he did not want to push her.

Her expression was downcast. "No. I'm not even sure we're looking in the right place anymore. This forest feels… empty." She took a deep breath, and let it go. "Like there's nothing here."

"I don't sense anything out of the ordinary," Miroku agreed, thoughtfully. "Then again, the demon we fought was quite good at disguising its true nature." Noticing something odd, he added, "Where is Hiraikotsu?"

"I left it at the inn. In these tunnels it would just be an extra burden," she explained. "And to be honest, I did not think I would find anything."

He nodded agreement with her assessment of the situation. Besides, she was right. She would not have been able to use Hiraikotsu in a fight even if she had taken it with her. But he could see the difference in her nonetheless. Dressed in her slayer's armor and armed with her familiar weapons, she was a force to be reckoned with. Uncertainty still lingered in her eyes, but even that was fading.

Sango frowned. "I… think it may have been a mistake to come back here. Did you dream last night?" A blush spread slowly across her cheeks, no doubt because of where she had spent the night.

Trying to remain serious, Miroku shook his head. "Do you think it's a coincidence, that the nightmares stopped as soon as we returned?"

"No."

He touched a hand to her shoulder for a moment. "We'll go together, and look. Perhaps we'll have more luck that way."

Sango looked shocked and a little flushed for the space of a heartbeat, then nodded.

As they headed down the forest path, Miroku kept his eyes open; it was much easier to take in his surroundings when he wasn't chasing Inuyasha at top speed. The entrance to the demon's lair was farther from the village than he had remembered, though it was doubtful that he would ever forget the descent into the tunnels.

The edges of the entrance were eroded, and the brush that had once camouflaged it was still piled where they had left it. He could even still vaguely make out the signs of Inuyasha's fight with the guards.

Heading into the demon's lair felt a good deal less worrisome, with Sango in front of him guiding Kirara's descent. He much preferred knowing that she was safe. As they landed at the bottom of the shaft it became obvious that Sango had not been lying: it really did look like nothing more than an abandoned hole in the ground.

Miroku leaned his staff against a nearby wall and lit one of the torches with some of the matches he'd swiped from Kagome ages ago. He guessed Sango had used the same torch earlier, because it was lying on the floor instead of in one of the sconces that lined the wall.

He frowned. The thing was vaguely sticky, and it tingled against his hand, increasing in force the longer he held it.

"Did you find something?" Sango asked, taking note of his interest in the torch.

"Possibly," he murmured, removing a sutra from his robe with his free hand, and applying the holy paper to the base of the torch. The entire thing burst into flames before evaporating. He tossed it away before the flames could catch anything important. "Apparently the torches were imbued with youki," he commented. "Probably where the miasma came from."

Sango nodded her agreement; he could barely see the motion in the dim, filtered light. He fetched the next torch and lit that one, ignoring the uncomfortable sensation of it against his hand.

Seeing his grimace, she offered, "I can take it, if you want."

He shook his head. "I'd rather you be ready to fight, in case something should happen."

She seemed to accept that answer, and led the way deeper into the tunnel. The light from the torch did not illuminate anything that looked out of the ordinary, aside from the rows of torches on each wall.

The entrance tunnel meandered for some distance before finally opening up into a larger room; Miroku remembered this room particularly well, for this was where he had encountered Sango and the demon. It was a large space, and poorly illuminated despite their torch.

There was the straw pallet where the demon had set its trap, and more torches lined the walls, but nothing appeared to have been touched since their departure. Sango seemed disinclined to linger there, not that he could particularly blame her, and headed toward the other end of the room. Kirara turned and cast a baleful stare at Miroku, who hastened to follow.

This end of the room narrowed gradually, and was close to where they had found the demon's roots. There was no sign of any demonic activity now, just dust and dirt and ash. Sango crouched down to investigate the soil, then pressed and prodded the walls, seeking hidden entryways. "Nothing," she grumbled, half to herself. "It all looks normal."

"Let's check the rest, then," Miroku said, though he suspected their search would turn up little or nothing.

His suspicions proved correct, and the rest of the room failed to yield anything out of the ordinary. After a thorough investigation, they headed back toward the entrance.

Being back in that room had brought back memories. A quick glance at Sango told him she was struggling with her own emotions, though he could not imagine what might be going through her mind. She claimed not to remember what had happened, but he could not believe that she truly remembered nothing. They had been carefully avoiding the subject ever since it happened. He had been tempted to ask on more than one occasion, but did not want to disturb Sango by bringing it up again when she was not yet ready to talk about it.

He might be content to let her think things over and discuss them when she was ready, but he did not like to see her suffering because of it.

"Is something the matter, Sango?"

"You've been acting so strange lately," she admitted with a sigh. "It's… confusing."

"Strange?"

She nodded. "When you… rescued me… you were so considerate," she paused a moment before adding, "I would even say 'honorable,' or at least as honorable as you can be. You didn't even grab me once, at least not that I remember. But then as soon as we left the village you started behaving exactly as you always have. Which I suppose makes sense, but now you've gone back to being honorable, and…" She trailed off, suddenly self-conscious.

He let out a soft sound that might have been a laugh or a sigh – even he was not quite sure which. "It's easy to fall back into bad habits," he admitted. "And I was hoping to put you at ease."

"You wanted to put me at ease," she repeated, frowning a bit.

"I wanted to make it clear that you had done nothing to dishonor yourself," he continued. "And that my intentions toward you have not changed."

She glared at him, her frown deepening. "And just what are your intentions, monk?"

He realized then that he had said more than he had originally planned to tell her. It was a foolish mistake, and left him in an awkward position. "Sango, you know you're a special woman to me –"

"Yes, and when we're done with Naraku, I'm to bear your children," she quipped sourly.

"And none of that has changed –" he began, only to stop as she added, "But where does that leave us now?"

He wanted to touch her, and silently cursed that his hands were full and he could do nothing. He wanted to do something, anything to let her know that he was there for her, without his having to say so.

"Well, I suppose we can try to find out what is causing the nightmares, and carry on from there," he suggested, finally, when it was obvious that she was not going to say anything.

Sango sighed.

After a long silence, during which Miroku did his best impression of not staring at her, she decided, "There's nothing down here. Let's go back up. Maybe we can find something by searching above the trees with Kirara."

As they walked back toward the entrance of the demon's lair, Miroku caught himself very nearly slipping back into his old habits. He had been walking behind her for most of their explorations, simply in deference to her knowledge and skills as a demon slayer, but was suddenly struck by the desire to rub his hand along the lovely curve of her buttocks. He smirked, and with some difficulty managed to curb the urge; he even managed a serene expression when Sango glanced at him over her shoulder.

She looked tense.

He wondered what she was thinking about, though he rather hoped it had something to do with him, or at least their earlier conversation.

She stopped walking so suddenly that he very nearly ran into her.

"Sango…"

"Before we leave, I… I need to ask you something," she murmured. If he had not been standing so very close to her, he probably would not have heard.

He did not pull away, and struggled to find an answer through the hazy distraction of her closeness. Anything. More than one word, more like his ordinary behavior… Thankful that she was not looking at him and could not see his internal struggle, he managed, "You may ask me anything, Sango."

She turned to face him, and he did step away from her then. He needed distance between them if he wanted to actually be able to give her an answer to her question. He knew it was his imagination, but she almost looked disappointed that he had moved.

It took her a moment to work up the courage to actually ask, despite his willingness to answer.

"What did I do… back there? When I was under the demon's spell…"

"You really don't remember?"

She shook her head. "I've been having… dreams. But I can't tell what's a dream and what's a memory…"

He was not sure what to tell her. He did not think he knew that much more than she did - she had come around pretty quickly once he found her. But she obviously wanted him to reassure her.

For a brief moment he considered joking about it, before realizing that doing so would only upset her more. "Sango," he began earnestly, "You have done nothing dishonorable. I do not know what happened after you were taken, but I can tell you that nothing untoward occurred after I found you."

Her face reddened even as she scowled. "I woke up alone with you, in a cave, with no clothes on. And 'nothing untoward' happened? Then why can't I remember?"

He knew she did not expect him to answer, but sought to defend himself anyway. "Not for lack of trying," he murmured. Her look shifted from anger to confusion, but at least she appeared willing to listen to him, for once. "The thing thought to distract me," he continued, hoping for the best, "with your beauty. That is why you had no clothes, but I knew by your actions that it was not you in control of your body." He paused. "I would rather die than take advantage of you like that, Sango."

"I – Why?" She struggled to find the right words, as Miroku gave up trying to resist. She looked so sad. He couldn't just do nothing; even if all he could do amounted to very little, it was something. He glanced toward the entrance of the tunnel and, deciding they were close enough that it did not matter, tossed the torch aside.

Sango had enough time to get out, "What are you –" before lapsing into stunned silence as he pulled her into a one-armed embrace. He expected a slap, expected outrage; he considered himself unbelievably lucky that she had allowed him to hold her the previous night, but had by no means expected that luck to continue. But when she did not react violently, and instead leaned into the embrace, he found himself relaxing. It felt so natural to hold her…

But he still had to consciously focus on not letting his hand slip lower to rub her bottom. He almost dared to think that she might have allowed such a transgression.

He grinned, wishing wryly that she had been more open to physical contact in the past. He had continued flirting out of habit and frustration, and she had shied away, unwilling to trust him… both of them continuing the endless cycle of a very foolish game. But now, when it was just the two of them and they'd both stopped fighting, he realized that he truly wanted Sango, all of her - her happiness and sorrow... and no other would do.

It was... surprising, to suddenly know it so clearly. He had always denied it before, for one reason or another, but found he no longer wanted to deny it, at least not right now. He wanted to hold her forever, but let her go when she pulled away.

She turned to Kirara, rubbing the cat's head with both hands. She murmured something that he did not catch, then spoke more loudly. "Come on, Kirara, let's go up and have a look." She slipped onto Kirara's back, then turned to look at Miroku. "Are you coming?"

-----

After a quick stop at the inn to retrieve Hiraikotsu and supplies for a short outing, Miroku, Sango, and Kirara headed out over the forest. Much of the land nearby was covered with thick vegetation that made it difficult to see what might be on the ground. Sango seemed fairly certain that what they were looking for would stand out amidst the more ordinary trees, and Miroku saw no reason to disagree with her assessment.

They spent several hours fruitlessly circling the village in an ever-widening circle before giving up to take a break and make something to eat. Somehow most of the day had slipped by while they were occupied with their investigations. The sun was low in the sky now; they would be lucky to make it back to the village before nightfall, but Sango had been reluctant to stop the search, presumably because it meant she would have to talk to Miroku.

He could tell she was still a bit flustered from their trip back into the demon's lair; not that he blamed her. He did not like the place, either. But right now he did not really care whether they talked or not. He was tired and hungry and just wanted to stop flying for a while.

He smiled when, as if reading his thoughts, Sango's stomach rumbled loudly. She turned back to face him with a sheepish look and said, "We should probably take a break, huh?"

He nodded enthusiastically in response.

When she finally spotted a suitable clearing, marked by the sound of water nearby, Sango directed Kirara to the ground.

He knew she was avoiding the inevitable, so he opted to let her have some space. They were not on a pleasure trip, though he would have enjoyed it a great deal more if they were. Nonetheless he was grateful to finally get a respite from the endless searching.

He watched with interest as Sango stretched, working the kinks out of her muscles after riding for so long, but looked away and busied himself with building a fire before she caught him staring.

"I haven't sensed anything out of the ordinary all afternoon," he said as he worked. The silence was bothering him, for some reason. He hoped that a mundane discussion would not bother her too much.

"And there's nothing visibly weird going on, at least around here," she agreed, coming to sit near him. She had already stashed Hiraikotsu nearby, from the sound of it, and he heard Kirara purr as she leaped into her mistress' lap.

The fire took hold, makeshift though it was, and Sango drew two cups of instant food from her pack, along with a small pot for boiling water. They had limited supplies of the special food, thanks to Kagome, but using them was easier than looking for food in unfamiliar forest, especially when they had other things to worry about.

Miroku guessed that it was his job to get the water, and did so without question.

When he returned, he noticed that Sango's expression was darker than usual. "Is something wrong?"

"Hmm?" She looked up, and he realized that she had simply been lost in thought. "No, I was just thinking…"

"What about?" he prodded, half expecting some sort of angry rebuttal.

"I don't understand. There has to be a reason…"

He frowned. "A reason for what?"

This time she did glare at him. "There's nothing here. But if we killed the demon then why are we both still being affected by… something? There has to be a reason that the nightmares stopped when we came back here."

"I must admit, I thought it would be a more straightforward endeavor."

She looked away and sighed. "We should have just waited for Inuyasha and Kagome to return, or at least asked Inuyasha to help us. I'm sure his nose could pick something up."

"Perhaps," he agreed. "Maybe we'll find something tomorrow."

"We need a plan," she protested, glumly. "We can't just go out at random and expect to find anything."

"True enough. What does the demon slayer have to say about it?"

She looked a little discomfited by his deference to her position as a slayer, but managed, "It was a plant demon. I've been thinking that perhaps it could be linked to another demon or another location by its root system. Maybe if we follow the direction the roots led underground, we'll find something."

"It's a start. And if that doesn't work, we can always resort to searching 'at random,'" he mused.

"We don't have that kind of time," she pointed out. "We would have to leave tonight - and fly nonstop - to get back to Kaede's village before Inuyasha and Kagome."

The water was beginning to boil, so he poured some into each of the ramen cups. "Well you left word with Kaede that we had gone to your village, right?"

"I, well…"

"They will wait for us to return."

"I hope you're right."

He rather thought she did not have to look so forlorn about such a little lie, but kept his mouth shut while their noodles cooked.

They ate in silence, neither willing to push the other just yet, but when the food was gone and the fire burned down, someone had to make a decision.

Sango rubbed Kirara's ears, smiling as the cat writhed and purred with delight. "It's getting dark. Let's go back to the village. We'll head out again in the morning."

Miroku nodded his agreement with the plan, and soon they were airborne again.

It was well after dark by the time they made it back to the inn, and the village was mostly silent around them. Miroku waited patiently outside the room they were to share while Sango changed out of her armor and into her yukata for the evening.

When she finally let him in, he couldn't resist teasing her a little. She had taken a spot near the wall, sitting with her knees hugged to her chest. He couldn't just let her look that sad.

"Sango," he began, playfully, as he sat down next to her, "I answered your question today. Perhaps you could return the favor."

"I suppose." Her voice was guarded, but not forbidding.

Figuring he had nothing to lose, and that the answer was probably of little consequence, he asked anyway. "You said something to Kirara earlier. What was it?"

"I - you didn't grab my bottom," she admitted, blushing furiously. "When you hugged me."

He tiled his head slightly to one side. "Is that a problem?"

"Well, no. You said you had been trying to put me at ease by acting the way you always have… and, well, it's confusing. I told Kirara that I wonder if you're feeling well -"

"Ah, dear Sango, if it will make you feel better," he teased, inching toward her, "Then I will be happy to oblige."

She scooted away from him and out of reach, her blush deepening. "No, that's all right. I - I like it better when you're being sweet, not perverted."

Do you, now? He tried his best to look thoughtful, instead of smug or perverted. "Something to think about, I suppose." He leaned back and closed his eyes, but could not quite manage to keep the satisfied smirk from his face. So you noticed, after all.

-----

Kagome felt good when she left the school building. The whole day had been a blessed reprieve from the tension she had felt lately. Everything was almost… normal. It felt like she had to have passed the test, after all that studying and worry. She had even managed to escape Hojo and her other friends. As she walked home from class, she let the sense of peace and tranquility wash over her with a happy sigh.

Life was definitely better when she wasn't fighting with Inuyasha, and didn't have any more tests to study for, for a while anyway. She wondered what Inuyasha had been up to all day and cringed. He had been driving her whole family nuts waiting for her to finish studying and get the test over with; she hoped he had been better behaved today.

She was looking forward to spending some time with him - and her family - today, and hoped he had not done anything to ruin it.

But when she climbed the stairs to reach the shrine, everything looked peaceful.

She was smiling when she slid open the door to the house, took her shoes off, and bounded into the kitchen. A very pleasant smell was emanating from the room, and she was almost positive that she knew what it was: ramen, for Inuyasha.

The hanyou was sitting at the family table, happily slurping away at the noodles, while her mother cleaned up the dishes. "Hi mom, Inuyasha," she greeted.

But when she turned around to greet her daughter in return, her mother's expression was very serious. "Kagome, we need to talk."