InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Impurity of Selfishness ❯ Intermission: Destroy BeyondWords! ( Chapter 7 )

Hey everyone- yeah, I'm back again. Ok, now you guys are both going to love and hate this most likely. I am of course working on the next chapter, but when I say that, that begs the question- what on Earth is this? Well I have reached about the half-way point of action at least. I have laid the problems out and the rest will bring everything to a resolution- I hope so at least. Since the rest of it will be rather angsty and odd, due to the fact that all this weird stuff has to work itself out, I thought that I needed to put a breath of fresh air in here. I may do shortened versions of this at the end of the rest of the chapters, just to lighten the mood. Yes I know this makes me seem evil, but I thought it might be interesting to still hear about the story but to hear me make fun of it- and the characters come after me somewhat…

 

Ok, so you won't despise me too much for doing this(especially Angelstars and Classic Cowboy), I will work hard to put up the next chapter ASAP- even if I put it up in a shortened or less edited format, so if that happens, please keep that in mind. I offer this gift: the basic idea of Pt 9- the reunion- Inuyasha returns, ahem, and sees Kagome(?) again. How will they react? Will Kagome remember anything- is she Kagome? Also, we will have a special guest for the party, a certain dead woman named Kikyo? Yep, that's right, Kikyo will be there, too- will Inuyasha say anything about the letter and will Kagome remember the kind miko who gave her a cup of medicine? I hope you can forgive me for this- but the break and the next chapter will make up for it, as you can see. Please, stay tuned, everyone.

 

Pt 8: Intermission: Retribution- destroy BeyondWords!

 

 

The stage is dark and quiet. In the background, impatient attendees await the production. Technical workers rush back and forth while hissing orders to keep everything running smoothly. Clear rope lights line the stairs to lead the way to the exits. Over the din of noise, a haughty voice announces all the fire safety disclaimers as the big white lights shine on the large, red curtain. Everyone groans and ignores him just the same as everyone does when the airplane safety video comes on at the beginning of flights. “May I please have your attention for the following…” In the darkness, obnoxious guys jeer and talk back to the voice. At the end of the lecture, the large lights go off suddenly and get everyone's attention. On stage, a pair of shoes click-clack on the hard, shiny surface and then suddenly stop.

 

The voice makes another official announcement and this time he receives a cheer from the crowd. “Welcome, ladies, mikos, houshis, gentlemen, hanyous and youkai to this auspicious event- the intermission to Impurity of Selfishness, that story which is currently available to the masses online at fanfiction.net, mediaminer.com and the author's website. We are so lucky to have not only the amazing and famous cast, but also the author. So, sit back, relax and watch as the author and cast discuss in detail the work itself and its background. I will also serve as the referee should it be needed in case of a major argument. You all know the rules, so without further adieu, I am pleased to introduce BeyondWords.”

 

The curtain opens with a whoosh of air. A lone young woman sits upon a stool in the center of the stage. She is wearing a short-sleeved blue sundress that stops a few inches above her knees. Around her neck, a blue and green opal shines with brilliance over the medium scooped neck. She pulls lightly on her shoulder-length dark blonde hair. With a sheepish smile, she waves and tries to stare through the bright lights to find a familiar face among the strangers. From the wings, a few snickers waft their way to her ears. She sets her face and prepares herself.

 

The cast of Impurity of Selfishness/Inuyasha walks out to meet and greet the author. On each face, there are mixtures of emotions- fury, indignation, indifference, excitement and curiosity. Inuyasha and Kagome glare at BeyondWords in silent fury. Inuyasha yells without bothering with a greeting, “How could you, stupid bitch?”

 

Miroku looks reproving at his friend. “Inuyasha, I have told you a million times never to insult a lady in that manner.” The monk turns to BeyondWords with an apologetic smile. She gives him a half-smile, gets up from the stool and backs away from Miroku, who moves in closer. “Please excuse my rough companion, my dear, he has a good heart, even if he has no tact.” The half dog-demon bristles, but the monk ignores it, looking into the author's eyes while patting her hand softly. “We are very pleased to meet you; you are very kind to take an interest in our adventures.” Kagome and Sango look at each other and roll their eyes in exasperation and prediction. Unaware, the lecherous one continues his attempt to grease another woman. “What beautiful blue eyes you have!”

 

Out of the blue, a random audience member stands up and asks, “Hey, BeyondWords, do you have color contacts?”

 

BeyondWords sweatdrops, blushes and gently pulls her hand away from Miroku. “No, this is my true eye color. Also, in case you were wondering- I won't grow any more than 5 ft because I am already 21, thank you very much. I will not apologize about it- I'm only as tall as I know how to be. I don't know of any way to make myself grow unless you have any bright ideas for me to consider.” She looks pointedly in his direction and the random guy shakes his head and sits down.

 

Everyone takes in the response for a moment before gasping. “You're 21? Well, y.. you don't look it!”

 

She sighs and replies, “Thank you; I think. I do look it sometimes. People have actually asked me if I'm married and if I have children.”

 

Inuyasha rolls his eyes and puts his hands behind his head. “Stupid bitch, you should have both of those by now- you're gonna be an old maid now for sure. No one'll marry or fall in love with you at your age!” He nods, unaware that many women are sharpening knives with only the sweet dream of plunging them into his flesh. Acting dense and untactful as usual, he does not bother to shut his mouth. “Yeah, you and Sango can go pick out spinster clothes together. Sango, you really should have taken that marriage offer that you got from that rich guy. That was so…” Sango sears Inuyasha with a look as Kagome jumps to cover his mouth.

 

Before BeyondWords could answer any of these charges, Miroku grabs her hand again. “How tragic indeed that such a beautiful maid should remain alone and unloved! Since you have no previous entanglements or plans, would you please consider bearing my child?” Everyone sweatdrops and most of the women, including BeyondWords, Sango and Kagome throttle Miroku. He looks up, “What did I say?” Sango mutters something about him asking everyone that question. Her arm is shaking as her nails dig into her flesh. Her self-control is beginning to give way.

 

Kikyo looks up from her book in the corner and walks towards them. “He never asked me to bear his child.” Everyone sweatdrops. Sango raises her eyebrow in question. Kikyo responds, “Well of course I can't get pregnant because of my condition, but that was hardly the point was it?” She looks around, but they are all shaking their heads, except for Inuyasha, who is staring at the dead miko as he is now unaware of anything going on around him except for her...

 

Shaking her head, BeyondWords walks over to Inuyasha and whacks him hard on the head. “You are such a chauvinistic pig! I don't know how Kagome puts up with you sometimes! You really don't deserve her- or anyone- sometimes, you know that? For your information, jerk, people in our time tend to live longer, so people marry and have families later in their lives. After both husband and wife are more settled in their work, they usually discover that they can manage the challenges of raising a child together much better.” A smattering of applause comes from the lightly buzzing room.

 

Inuyasha rolls his golden eyes. “Keh, how much work is hanging around the house and pumping out babies every now and then?” All women feel a strong urge to kill the hanyou.

 

Kagome narrows her eyes and stares at him. “You selfish idiot! You'd make anyone want to become a serious feminist! Of course you don't know what that means, so please do me a favor and listen for a moment, will you? That way I can explain.” He looks at her, unmoved, since he has no idea what being a serious feminist means. “Women sometimes have more power and make more money than men do in our time.”

 

BeyondWords nods and backs her up. “That's only the tip of the iceberg- having children is just thought of differently. Instead of saying that his wife was pregnant, a man might say, `we are pregnant.' Still, maybe someone will write a fic about you giving birth- then let's hear your views on the ease of childbirth!”

 

Miroku and Inuyasha stare while Sango grins and smirks. After a moment, the shock wears off and Inuyasha shrugs before returning to his rant on the story. “Keh, I don't think so. Women… You're all crazy!” He stutters and takes a moment to regroup and continue his attack on the fanfic. “That was quite a lovely tangent to divert us, Miss Author, if you dare call yourself that! Oh by the way, I do not whimper in my sleep! Where'd you get that idea?” He sticks out his bottom lip and crosses his arms over his chest.

 

Kagome giggles. “Yes you do- I've heard you- and you do drool as she mentioned beforehand! A bit of the nasty stuff flew in the wind and hit me in the face one night. I was thoroughly disgusted! Your snoring is rather cacophonous too- you and Miroku could start a dissonant snoring choir!”

 

Laughing so hard that he's almost crying, Shippo leaps onto Kagone's shoulder. “Yeah, I remember that!” He leans forward in his laughter and Kagome luckily catches him in her arms before he hits the stage floor. “Do you remember the night that the two of them were snoring in unison and in off-key harmony? Of course, none of the rest of us could sleep, but it was memorable!” He breaks into fits of laughter once more. The audience begins whispering and laughing.

 

A nerve in Inuyasha's head begins to pop as everyone on stage and off snickers at the memory. “How dare you speak to me that way!”

 

Kagome walks up to him and lightly touches the prayer beads with her index finger. Quietly she sweetly remarks, “Don't make me say it, Inuyasha.”

 

He grumbles and turns back to BeyondWords. “I don't have an obnoxious running commentary in my head- where did you get a damned dumb idea like that? My mind is always clear and on target.”

 

BeyondWords considers the hanyou and cocks her head to one side thoughtfully. She blushes and stares off into space for a moment. “Oh I suppose you might not, but I figured you have to be thinking about something when you appear to be so out of it. I guessed that you might not want to burden everyone else with your thoughts- so it's supposed to make you seem smart, not stupid!” She rolls her eyes and throws her hands up in the air. Then she glares at him. “You don't like my comedic commentary, neh? Well that was partially taken from a conversation I had with a friend of mine- I love to argue with him that way.”

 

Shippo nods with a giggle as he looks at the whimsical author, “I like the commentary- it's nice to know that Inuyasha's not completely out of it, as you call it, all the time. Arguing with himself- it makes him seem like a dog who's chasing his tail or who's barking at his reflection in the water!” The kitsune breaks into helpless laughter along with BeyondWords. Inuyasha, who is completely unamused, comes toward him with murder on his mind; he has had enough insults. Kagome shakes her head and subdues him with a triumphant chuckle.

 

BeyondWords sweatdrops. “Riiight. Ok, leaving now.”

 

They all halt and pull BeyondWords back. Kagome turns to her and says, “No, you must stay as our guest. We must have a little chat with you.” BeyondWords sighs and nods. The rest of them have evil grins painted on their faces- now is the time for retribution!

 

Kagome takes a deep breath, “Ok, your whole first chapter was full of author's notes- that's not a real chapter. All you did was blab on and on about love while telling people not to flame you too much- if they want to flame you, you'll end up crispy no matter what kind of pleas you initially put out there. Also what's with this name of yours: Impurity of Selfishness? Puh-lease, as if people would voluntarily read something like that! Besides, how dare you imply that I am impure and selfish?!” The others snicker.

 

BeyondWords answers, “Well, I wanted to write the disclaimer anyway- just in case it helped. Look at me and truthfully tell me that you enjoy rejection, Miss Purity? By the way do you really want me to write you as if you're always perky? Real life is not that cut and dry- besides, don't you get sick of the same old thing again and again? We all see you having problems with Inuyasha and yet you want us to write it as if that's not true? You put up with him even when he chose his dead lover over you- and to boot, he still can't make up his mind!” Inuyasha starts to protest but they all silence him with a glare. “And none of this is supposed to give you odd thoughts and feelings now and then? Besides, how dare you be so presumptuous- you haven't even seen the ending yet so you don't know what I am or am not implying! For your information,” she whispers to Kagome, “I think that Inuyasha should choose you over Kikyo, but you'll understand that more at the end.” Kagome gives her a slight smile and nods.

 

Sango pushes in to raise a small question. “Well be that as it may, why connect your pathetic poetry with our names- even and especially if it wasn't written in the context?”

 

BeyondWords stubbornly says, “My story, my rules. I said they weren't exactly about the story- and people aren't forced to read them! If they read them and dislike them, then that is their problem not mine.” The beautiful demon exterminator nods, which the author takes as an acknowledgement of fairness.

 

Getting back into the fight, Kagome shouts, “Well anyway, who is this boyfriend you are creating? Why is everyone afraid of me? Did Naraku do something to me, but then I would not be with them… hmm…” The young miko thinks for a moment and then has an epiphany. “Did Kikyo give me something during the time that I don't remember? Kikyo, that bitch- how dare she do that to me?!?” Kikyo looks impassively at her reincarnation at this remark but does not say anything. The others study the two and wait for World War III to break out, but both of the women keep their cool. Slowly, they turn to the author to hear the response.

 

Shaking her head, she gently explains, “Wait and you'll see.” They all sigh. “I wish I could tell you but then I would give everything away and then no one would read my story at all!” They nod, but remain quiet.

 

Waking from another of his space-outs, Inuyasha flares up. “Wait a second, wench? Kagome, this Kagome has a boyfriend?!? Damn, is it Kouga or that Hojo guy again? Grrr. Kagome, what the heck is going on? I'm gonna destroy whoever…”

 

BeyondWords looks at him with a slight grin on her face. Lightly she taunts in reminder, “Why do you care if she has a boyfriend, Inuyasha? Of course not- you only want to kill Kouga because he's a wolf and he insults you. Your blood didn't boil when you saw Kagome defending him and you never overreact when you see him speak to Kagome and call her his woman?”

 

A male voice from the audience screams, “Yeah why do you care about my woman, dogface? You stay away from my Kagome!” Kouga appears in a whirlwind a half-second later to take Kagome in his arms. Inuyasha gives a warning growl which the wolf prince ignores. Kagome quietly greets Kouga and pulls away from him. The wolf turns to Inuyasha once more and faces him, “Yeah, answer the lady's question, inukorro- why do you care?”

 

The hanyou visibly tries to ignore his anger and to sort his feelings out enough to answer the question. “I… don't…” He turns to BeyondWords quickly to change the subject, “And why on Earth did you make Kagome attack me, especially after how she was acting and making me feel…”

 

Kagome looks up at him, “Yes, Inuyasha, you were saying? Oh and what- I attacked you? No I didn't- everyone else must have some amnesia too! You jerk, I haven't seen you since I got back and you accuse me of something like that? You're supposed to be on a mission- something having to deal with your family? Gone to unwrap presents with your dear older brother at the family home?”

 

Inuyasha growls, then turns to Miroku, Sango and Shippo. “Who told her that? Why didn't you tell her the truth? She caused it after all!”

 

Kagome rushes in between them. “Truth- caused what exactly? Then where are you, Inuyasha?” BeyondWords hushes the others and gives them the signal not to reveal anything. They sigh and nod reluctantly. Kagome turns to them all. “What's going on, guys? Why are you afraid of me?”

 

Sango put a hand on her shoulder. “Don't worry about it, Kagome-chan- it's nothing.”

 

Kagome flames up. “Nothing? Whatever… I can't force you to tell me and it might ruin the story; I guess. Let's see, what else should we say while we are here? BeyondWords, what's your obsession with nothingness anyway? You keep mentioning it in one of your chapters, so there must be a reason.”

 

She replies defensively, “It's not my obsession that I'm ridiculing, nor any of yours, if you want to know.” She looks down at her feet for a moment.

 

Inuyasha, frustrated, snaps, “So who cares about oblivion and nothingness? Not me- I'm not a weird freak! All I want is to use the Shikon no Tama to be a true youkai- and to kill Naraku.”

 

BeyondWords smiles, “It was a joke that I remember. A friend of mine and I were discussing the nature of nothingness.” Her eyes mist over sadly in remembrance. “We are both neither one thing nor the other- whatever that one thing or the other thing are.” She shrugs.

 

He looks unimpressed. “And that is your reasoning for making me look like a fool?”

 

“That's not what I did; you should be glad to be compared to him. Shut up- I didn't come here to talk about him!” The cast silently comments… sure you didn't.

 

 

The announcer interrupts the silence. The author looks up with gratitude and the cast flinches at their loss of time. “Well time is almost up. It's opinion time, so please cast would you walk up to the pieces of paper and write your opinion of this work so far?”

 

 

The Results:

 

Inuyasha: She is completely inaccurate about many things, but at least stuff is finally starting to happen. I was getting bored not being involved.

Kagome: This story is not bad in itself; some of the extras are questionable. The first part did feel like something I would think, although I don't tend to remember my dreams. I don't like the idea of having amnesia and having people be afraid of me, but I'm hoping it will work out for the best. I guess I'll just have to trust her.

Miroku: I don't really have that much of a part yet, but I am interested in seeing what happens. I am in favor of Inuyasha being less dense than he seems; it hurts poor Kagome-sama. Where are all the beautiful women- other than the ones in this room?

Sango: I do not have much of a part yet, either, but at least she is not making me out to be overly talkative and perky, because that would be a stretch. Yelling at Inuyasha for not showing us the letter felt good- I enjoyed doing that scene.

Shippo: I like this story a good bit, except that it is a little sad, not as if that is unusual for us. I like to believe that I have more tact than she makes me out to have, but she thinks I'm cute… why do humans, especially human females, think I am so cute? Oh well, she seems pretty nice like Kagome and Sango. (BeyondWords whispers to him… “I'm too nice sometimes, Shippo-chan.” She winks and smiles brightly.)

Kikyo: I have no idea what she has in mind for me, but I hope I won't have to hurt her later on. Inuyasha is mine; he promised. The focus on that girl is rather obnoxious- she is the sequel as BeyondWords mentioned.

Kaede: (who was attending a patient and could not come) The pain that both Kagome-chan and Kikyo-onee-sama are feeling saddens me, but I hope the ending will not be too tragic for either of them.

Souta: (who was in school) I hope Kagome-nee-chan brings Inu no onii-chan back with her. I want her to remember everything- and I want them to be together. I hope she comes home and doesn't get hurt. I'm guessing this story won't take place on this side of the well and since I can't go there, I just have to wait.

Kouga: (who wrote his before anyone could stop him because he is not a member of the cast) Kagome is my woman, no matter what any of those morons say, and if you hurt her, I will come after you.

 

The announcer flashes the results up on a huge screen. Some people break into laughter in the audience and on stage. After a moment, the booming voice dismisses everyone. “Well thank you for coming. Please remember to check your immediate area for any of your personal belongings that you might have taken with you before leaving your seat. Drive safely and have a wonderful evening. Thank you again for your support.” The audience claps and the featured people take their bows before the curtain closes. Right before the light goes out, BeyondWords comes out from behind the curtain.

 

“Good evening, everyone. I would like to personally thank you again for your continued patronage. Please remember that it is greatly appreciated. If you happen to have any comments, please don't hesitate to leave your own review or to send me an e-mail. Thank you for reading, to those who chose to review and also to those who do not. Until the next chapter then, good night.” She steps backward into darkness.

 

I mean it- please leave your reviews- I hope you enjoyed the break from such hard stuff for a moment. If this goes over well, I may do it once more closer to the end. Thank you yet again!