InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In the Arms of My Sanity ❯ Reflections ( Chapter 1 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: CherryBlossomMiko 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Updated On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 8.1K | Visits: 631 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Updated On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 8.1K | Visits: 631 | Status: Completed
In the Arms of My Sanity...
- By CherryBlossomMiko
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Disclaimer: I don't own anything, hrmph.
Summary: Kagome's feudal, lust-based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. There's only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now Kagome's feelings for him are what are causing her controversy; can she figure it out before she looses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, adult themes, and adult situations.
Author's Note: Dictionary at the bottom of chapters where needed.
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:: Chapter One: Reflections ::
- Lyrics from: Fields of Innocence, Evanescence
--
Kagome sat stiffly next to Sesshoumaru, her barely contained anger making her quiver. Sesshoumaru's fingers were stroking her bare thigh, but it did little to ease her growing rage.
Sesshoumaru was smirking next to her, perfectly aware of her anger, "Something... wrong?"
Kagome snapped; this was stupid, every last little bit...
"Yes! Yes something is very wrong! That's twice, twice , in a month!"
Kagome's eyes were blazing, and even if she had wanted to stop, which she didn't, it was quite impossible now.
"Two fights, two huge scenes! Two absolute embarrassments over nothing! Nothing! I was just talking to him goddamnit! I-"
A resounding smack echoed through the back compartment of the limousine. Kagome gripped her burning cheek, tears springing into her eyes.
"Do not swear, Kagome, it is most unlady like. And I will create these, scenes , where, when, and as often as I want to.
Kagome curled in on herself, away from Sesshoumaru, his flaming handprint turning a violent red. He had never, not once in two years... Her tears spilled over as she pulled her stocking feet up, burying her face in her knees.
Sesshoumaru twirled a hand in Kagome's raven locks, "It's all for the best Kagome, I know what's right for us. You just leave it all up to me and everything will be fine."
Kagome looked up, her blue, tear-filled eyes searching Sesshoumaru's unemotional face as he sipped another brandy.
"Did you ever love me? Even just a little bit?"
Sesshoumaru had turned away before she had even begun to speak.
"Hmm? Oh yes, of course dear."
Kagome buried her face back in her knees, her tears flowing unchecked. He only called her dear when he wasn't paying attention.
"Sessho, why?"
Sesshoumaru swirled the brandy in his glass, a vague 'Sessho' reaching his ears. He looked down at Kagome, tangling his hand back into her raven hair. The silken strands wove over and in-between his fingers, sliding between his fingertips.
What was all this love nonsense she was talking about? Love? He didn't love things; he was attracted to people, he was interested in things; but love was not an emotion he felt, love made you weak, vulnerable; something he never could and never would be. His father hadn't loved his mother, and they had been a brilliant match, in business as well as home. But then, his damn father had ruined it by falling in love with that human woman, which had been the beginnings of InuYasha and the end of his life. No, he did not love Kagome; but they were a good match; she was attractive, smart, successful; one of the few women he deemed good enough to stand by his side.
But she was human; she didn't understand how these things worked, and so he had had to show her how perfect their match was, which had to have been the root of all this. He understood that humans married for love, and assumed Kagome would marry him for the same reason; but he had never expected that she'd want, even require his love in return. He sighed, leaning back into the leather and pushing his thoughts away. He'd stay with her tonight, be there when she woke up, and hope that that would be enough to end her conquest for his love, at least for a month or two.
Sesshoumaru heard Kagome's breathing slow and the tension in her back visibly eased. He felt the limo stop and he moved over to the other side of Kagome, waiting for Kouga to open the door before he scooped her up and walked inside, heading straight for their bedroom.
Kagome awoke to feel the bed sink next to her before a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist. She blinked several times, trying to clear the fog that slowed her thoughts. She turned over, meeting the glowing eyes of Sesshoumaru.
He kissed her softly, his tongue gently probing her mouth. He turned her back around, planting a quick kiss to her temple before she felt him nuzzle affectionately into the crook of her neck.
"Sessho-"
"Shh, go back to sleep Kag..."
Kagome closed her eyes as Sesshoumaru began purring into her neck; a soft and comforting sound that rumbled in his chest, the calming vibrations tingling against her bare back. She placed a hand over the one resting on her waist, intertwining their fingers under the sheets as he tangled his other hand in her hair before she drifted off to sleep.
-
Kagome felt a warm breeze on her neck as she drifted somewhere in-between sleep and awakening.
"Hmm..." She mumbled; Sesshoumaru must have opened the window.
Kagome sighed, shifting slightly. And then all of the sudden, a thumb was slowly stroking the back of her hand. Kagome's eyes shot open.
"Who-?"
She twisted, and the gentle breeze on her neck stopped. Kagome turned over slowly, and met the sleeping, peaceful face of Sesshoumaru. Kagome sucked in a quick breath, her free hand reaching up to push a few stray strands of hair away from his face.
"Sessho..." She whispered, her eyes straying for a brief second from his peaceful face to the window, still stunned by the sunlight pouring onto their bed.
He was still there... Kagome smiled, leaning her forehead against his. He was there, solid, real; his fingers locked with her's and tangled in her hair. It wasn't a fantasy, a hallucination; he was really there, with her, and it was morning.
"Sessho, wake up Sessho..."
Sesshoumaru heard someone whisper his name, and he was easily pulled from a dreamless sleep to the land of the awakened. He opened his eyes to a pair of large, sparkling ocean blue ones. Kagome smiled at him, rubbing her little nose against his.
"Sessho; you- you're here, with me, and- and its morning ."
Sesshoumaru gave her a small smile and kissed her soundly; a gentle, slow kiss instead of the hungry, passion-filled ones he normally greeted her with.
"I'm here Kag, and its morning."
Kagome giggled and gave him a quick peck, sliding her fingers through his silver hair.
Kagome was giddy; maybe- maybe InuYasha was right, maybe he just couldn't express his feelings like she could. But that was okay with her; if she could wake up to this every morning...
"Breakfast?"
"Let's have it up here."
Kagome giggled, climbing out from under the sheets and slipping on her black satin robe, which was always hanging on the bedpost. She walked to the door, sliding the small bamboo screen in the wall aside to reveal a small black console. Kagome reached a finger forward, pressing in a small stream of numbers.
"Kaede?"
"Yes, Lady Kagome?"
"I'm sorry to bother you; but I had some sliced fruit in the fridge and-"
"Say no more, Lady Kagome; it'll be up in a moment."
"Thank you," Kagome replied, pressing the power button and sliding the small screen back in place.
Sesshoumaru popped a mango square into Kagome's mouth. Kagome smiled at him, rising to her elbows to kiss him, the taste of mango still fresh in her as he slowly explored every crevice. He ran a hand along her neck, hooking his thumb in front of her ear, stroking her cheek as he slowly pressed Kagome back into the sheets.
Kagome placed both hands on his chest, pushing him back; "Sessho..."
Sesshoumaru pushed back, placing short kisses to Kagome's tempting lips.
"Sessho... We. Can't... Do... This now."
Sesshoumaru growled playfully, "And why the hell not?"
He moved down to her neck, nipping and licking at all the sensitive spots he had found in the past two years.
"Because... we, ooh, we have-," Kagome gasped, the hands on his chest sliding around to grip his back, regardless of her words, "We have to work."
Sesshoumaru nipped at her pulse point, supporting himself on his forearms, "No we don't; we can work tomorrow," he lapped at the hollow of her shoulder, "A little day off can't hurt..."
Kagome let out a soft sort of moan, "I, I... ooo, but I have a, ohh, a meeting."
Sesshoumaru shifted his body slightly to the left, supporting his weight on one arm as he traced small circles on her stomach, "Be late," he mumbled, nuzzling into the crook of her neck as his fingers danced.
Kagome ran a hand through his hair, sucking in short breaths as his fingers found her ticklish spots.
"I... oh, I can't. Ooo, it's with, it's with my boss."
Sesshoumaru growled, slowly rolling off to the side until Kagome was free, although his lips were still attached to the crook of her neck.
"Mmph," he removed himself, pulling his wandering fingers away from her smooth skin, "Fine, go take a shower."
Kagome smiled at him, giving him a quick kiss before throwing he legs over the edge of the bed, standing to walk toward the bathroom.
Sesshoumaru watched with a smile as Kagome walked toward the bathroom, intentionally swaying her hips as she moved. He could smell her excitement; her scent lingered in the air around him, and it took most of his self-control not to follow her into the shower and take what he wanted.
Instead, he got dressed, pulling on a pair of baggy blue jeans and a gray beater while reminding himself of his 'be nice to Kagome' ploy. He ran a hand through his tangled hair, pulling out the worst of the knots. He walked over to Kagome's side of the bed, turning on the stereo to some random station before venturing into his small business alcove, turning on his laptop.
Kagome finished toweling off, wrapping her towel around her before applying her make-up and brushing her teeth. She walked into the bedroom, straight into her closet. Kagome flipped through her suits, pulling one out and walking over to the bed.
Kagome quickly changed into her suit, skipping the nylons before her fingers deftly buttoned the front of the jacket. The suit was very ordinary, but her body did it wonders. The suit was black with fine white lines, the skirt falling about mid-thigh with a small slit up the back. The white shirt underneath overcame the tight jacket in the collar and the end of the sleeves. She left the top three buttons of her shirt undone, showing off her ample cleavage.
Kagome walked back into the bathroom, letting her hair down and reaching for her brush. As her hand closed over the handle a hand rested on her's, and she looked up to see Sesshoumaru's face in the mirror.
"Can I?"
Kagome nodded, handing him the brush.
Sesshoumaru ran the brush through Kagome's dark locks, his hand following after the brush to feel the silken strands. He had always liked Kagome's hair; long and shiny it was a magnet for his fingers. He finished brushing her hair and looked up at her in the mirror.
"Arigatou."
Instead of answering a hand on her chin placed her lips at a kissable angle, allowing him access to her sweet depths. He sighed into her, running his tongue along her's slowly. Finally, he pulled away, leaving Kagome with a goofy smile.
Kagome smiled at Sesshoumaru in the mirror, leaning against him in all the spaces and hollows that fit her perfectly. 'I love you' she mouthed in the mirror, closing her eyes as he buried his face in her hair and neck, taking a deep breath before he turned and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Kagome to smile at the reflection of his back.
Sesshoumaru heard Kagome pull out of the driveway and speed off. He leaned back in his comfortable chair, typing absent-mindedly with one hand and his feet up on the desk.
He couldn't remember a day when Kagome had smiled so much; and when she wasn't fighting with him she could be quite enjoyable. He sighed; perhaps he should try this pleasing her thing more often, especially since it made her so agreeable. He let his feet thumb back to the floor, moving closer to the desktop to shuffle through a pile of papers.
Kagome arrived home around three in the afternoon, a frown planted on her pretty face. She dropped her laptop and shoes in the front hall, rolling her neck as she walked into the living room, flopping down onto the couch and crossing her legs, sighing.
Sesshoumaru walked in, his hands giving her tense shoulders a squeeze as he circled around her.
"Come," he ordered, grabbing her hand and pulling her with him.
Kagome followed Sesshoumaru up the ornate staircase, but not in silence; "Sessho, I'm tired, I'm tense; can't I just go to sleep?"
Sesshoumaru turned, giving her a short glare and a growl before he pulled himself together, quickly turning his face to a calmer expression, "Let me ease that tension, Kagome."
Kagome fell silent, slumping her shoulders in defeat. Then, she looked up again, yanking her hand from Sesshoumaru.
"No! I want to sleep, and sleep I will, now."
Sesshoumaru's anger flared easily. He whirled around, grabbing both of Kagome's wrists in one hand and pinning her against the wall, his face a mere inch from her's.
"I still make the rules here, Kagome, you will obey me."
"I- No! I am your wife! We're equals!"
Sesshoumaru's lips covered Kagome's in a painfully hard kiss, a strong hand keeping her face forward. He pulled back, noting the tears in her surprised blue eyes.
"You have gotten far too disobedient lately; you need to be punished. Would you like to make it worse on yourself?"
Kagome whimpered, turning her head and struggling in his grasp. Sesshoumaru yanked her face back, his eyes flashing crimson for a moment.
"Answer me wench, do you? Do you?"
Kagome looked up at him, a fire blazing in her eyes, "Yes," she answered, narrowing her gaze.
A smack and another bruising kiss as a red, hand-shaped welt rose on Kagome's cheek.
"What was that?"
The fire in Kagome's eyes paled in comparison to Sesshoumaru's, which quickly extinguished any fight in Kagome as she lowered her head.
"No, Sesshoumaru-sama."
"Good, come on."
Kagome followed, without a word, her head bowed in shame. Damn him, and I thought... Kagome chuckled at herself for being so stupid; of course he didn't love her, he never had. Kagome laughed inside; even she knew she was only angry to keep from sobbing.
-!- Lime-ade For Sale -!-
Sesshoumaru pushed Kagome down on their bed; his mouth instantly seeking her's in a passionate, hungry kiss. He tore her shirt and jacket to shreds as he kissed her, his hands roaming over her bare breasts as lust placed a crimson tint in his eyes. She still lay teary-eyed and unresponsive beneath him, but he barely noticed.
Sesshoumaru removed his own shirt, crushing her breasts between them as he invaded her mouth, his hands roaming down as he shoved her skirt up.
Kagome whimpered underneath Sesshoumaru, her tears flowing freely as he played with her body. She didn't know what to do; even InuYasha couldn't help her now. She waited as he pleasured himself, her silent sobs repressed to keep from him the joy of how successful his punishment really was.
-!- Bye Bye Lime-ade -!-
Sesshoumaru climbed off Kagome, locking her wide-eyed blue gaze for a moment.
"Perhaps now you will behave?"
Kagome nodded, barely a tilt of her head as her tears continued to flow.
He dressed and left, walking down to the kitchen in hopes of finding lunch.
^-^
i still remember the world
through the eyes of a child
slowly those feelings
were clouded by what i know now
where has my heart gone
an uneven trade for the real world
i want to go back to
believing in everything and knowing nothing at all
^-^
Kagome laid on the bed, her arms still up next to her sides, her hands near her shoulders as twisted silk rubbed against her back. Shock kept her from moving, but her thoughts were on overdrive, tumbling in and out before she could analyze or understand them. A breeze came through the now open window, tickling her neck and cooling her tears as a ghostly memory of this morning surfaced, forcing Kagome to choke back a sob before her whole body shuttered, causing her to drag in a gasping breath.
Finally, after what seemed like days to Kagome, her body responded to her commands, her arms moving to cover her bare chest. She reached a tentative hand out, pulling a sheet over her, even her head; engulfing her small, shaking form in darkness.
As Kagome lay there, curled up in the dark, she learned something; you cant hide from yourself, no matter how much you want to escape.
Kagome crawled from under the sheet, pulling it with her as she set both feet on the floor, pausing a moment before standing and walking into her closet; pulling out a pair of jeans, a white tank top, and a black hoodie, tight in the arms but loose elsewhere. She changed quickly, running a brush through her hair before grabbing her sneakers; her need to get out winning over her need for a shower.
Sesshoumaru heard Kagome walk down the stairs, the strong scent of her anger, depression, confusion, and self disgust assaulting his nose, surprising him with its intensity. He expected her to come straight to him; but instead he heard the front door open and close before a car sped off. He sat at the kitchen table, a deep, angry growl rumbling low in his chest. So, Kagome still hadnt learned her lesson, even after all this. Hed deal with her later
Kagome was lost in her thoughts, turning down random streets. Part of her wanted to run to InuYasha, fling herself in his arms and let him murmur it all away. But another part of her wanted to try and be independent, try to figure things out on own for once.
Kagome stopped at a light, her eyes wandering to the hill on her left, a swing set, empty, a swing rocking back and forth in a breeze she couldnt feel against a gray and desolate sky. Kagome pulled off to the left, easing her small car into a small space on the roads edge before leaning back against the seat, still gripping the wheel tightly.
~
Kagome sat down on an empty swing at the far end of the swing set, the tips of her sneakers dragging along the ground as she swung slowly back and forth. A little boy and girl walked over from the sandbox, their knees the dirty yellow of the sand, their little hands gritty from their play as the little girl slid onto the swing furthest from Kagome.
Come on, Shippo, push me!
Alrighty Rin, hang on!
Kagome sighed softly as the little kitsune push the girl, their happy chatter and giggles drifting to her on the cold breeze, stirring up the leaves as it stirred up her memories
Come on Inu-chan! Just one little underdoggy!
No, you said that eight underdogs ago!
Please?
No.
Pleeeease?
No.
Pretty pleeeeease?
Nnn-
InuYasha was cut off by an authoritative voice from a nearby tree, its owner leaping to the ground and landing gracefully next to the swing set, giving InuYasha a pointed look.
You weak hanyou. Shes only a little human girl and youre tired already?
He placed both hands on Kagomes back, earning a small reprimand from the girl as she twisted around in the seat of the swing to look at him, Thats not how you do it! You have to pull me back first, then run forward, duh.
The boy, a head taller than the both of them, gave her a sarcastic glance before motioning her to turn back around with a finger. Kagome turned, shaking her head skeptically as the boy again placed both hands on her back
Ready? Three Two
Kagome felt the a surge of speed and before she could blink she was nearly ten feet in the air, and as she came down she saw a smug Sesshoumaru smirking at a grumpy InuYasha. But Kagome was too caught up in the feeling of soaring to care much. The wind whipped past her face, flinging her dark locks around her in a wild whirlwind.
I love you Sesshie-chan!
Dont call me that! The tree answered, the leaves of one branch rustling slightly, and on the ground InuYasha fehed and punched the tree, shaking several green leaves from their branches. The tree swore calmly and a branch fell on InuYashas head while Kagome laughed in the backround, the swing showing no signs of slowing.
Kagome was jolted out of her memories by a sudden downpour, the rain drenching her as the small children screamed in delight and began to dance back towards the woman calling them, singing a small tune about dancing in the rain. Kagomes hair soaked through quickly, sticking to her neck as her clothes too were plastered to her frame. She cocked her head before glancing up at the sky, the dark clouds seeming to glance back at her. Thunder boomed, but Kagome had seen no lightening, so she stayed put, her eyes wandering.
Kagome smiled sadly as she watched the woman try to usher the excited children out of the rain, though with little effect. She remembered life at that age, so simple and happy. She hadnt had to worry about anything beyond her playmates and her toys, and even though every little thing seemed monumental to her then, it had all truly been very simple. Just her happy, giggling days with Ayame, InuYasha, and Sesshoumaru.
Kagome sighed as her thoughts wandered back to why she was out here, sitting on a swing in the rain. Tears sprang to her eyes, and instantly Kagome wished shed gone straight to InuYasha, though her legs seemed unwilling to bring her there now. She tried to push those thoughts away and follow the example of the slowly moving trio, giggling in the rain. But no matter how hard she tried she couldnt push all her worries and complications away to just take simple pleasure in the rain; not even for a second could she return to the simplicity of her childhood. Kagome bowed her head, tears flowing freely, though they were indistinguishable among the cool raindrops that clung to her face, dripping off the edge of her small nose.
InuYasha saw Sango at the top of the hill, trying without success to usher Shippo and Rin out of the rain. He sighed, beginning the small trek up the hill.
Shippo, Rin, come on, now.
His words had instant effect, though not on their smiles but on the direction of their feet as they ran to him. Sango cast him a grateful smile, wandering after the children slowly, her clothes completely soaked already. He smiled back, wrinkling his nose to shake a drop of rain off, causing her to laugh. He was about to join in when the damp scent of sakura reached his nose.
His eyes opened wide, his every sense alert and open to everything around him. He scanned the surrounding area, and finding no sakura trees he bounded up the hill, his heart beating fiercely. It couldnt be, Sesshoumaru wouldnt allow her in this part of the city, certainly not
He crested the hill, his eyes instantly focusing on the only soul in the park; a dark haired girl, head bowed as she swung slowly back and forth on a swing, one arm wrapped in the chain. Her scent wafted to him, slightly stronger now, but no different.
Kagome? Kagome!
As he ran closer her was sure it was her, the strong emotions a scent that constantly stood along side the sakura and his asshole half brother. He growled as he smelt tears and self-disgust, mixed with confusion and depression. He fell to his knees in the mud, a gentle hand lifting her chin as his growls faded, concern for Kagome overriding his rage.
Kag? He asked softly, his thumb brushing away tears and raindrops alike.
InuYasha, she mumbled, falling on to him before wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her face under his rain-soaked silver mane.
InuYasha scooped her from the swing, sitting himself before allowing her to straddle his hips and sob into his chest in a way she hadnt in years. InuYasha could smell her overwhelming sorrow, but the self-disgust was what disturbed him. He rubbed claming circles on her lower back, mumbling nonsense into her ear as she continued to cry.
Shh, Kagome, its okay. Im here, Im here now
Kagomes sobs slowly quieted until they became small hiccups, the small sound comforting to InuYasha compared to her prior sobs. She looked up at him, her eyes wide and her nose red from a mix of crying and cold.
What happened, Kagome, you can tell me
She looked away, over toward a large oak tree, as if afraid to meet his gaze.
I I was punished
InuYasha growled, the low rumble making Kagome jump slightly, though her gaze did not waver from the old tree.
Then why are you upset with yourself? He asked, shoving his anger away as best he could.
I Maybe- maybe I could have stopped it, but I- I didnt
She hiccuped softly at the end of her sentence, still refusing to meet his gaze. InuYasha raised a hand to her chin, slowly returning her gaze to his.
You couldnt have done anything Kagome, he would have used extreme force if he thought you needed to be punished. It was probably better that you didnt. Its okay not to fight sometimes, smart more often than not. You did it right, Kawaii, its all going to be fine.
Kagome leaned forward again, resting her forehead against his shoulder, You were wrong, you know, he doesnt love me, he never did; I can see that now; I hung on to that hope for so long
She fell silent as he wrapped both arms around her waist, squeezing her to him, Im sorry Kawaii, Im so sorry
Her admission had brought forth another wave of tears; he could smell the salt as he placed a hand on the back of her head, slowly rocking the swing.
Sango rose over the edge of the hill, a poncho-covered child on each hand.
Whos the pretty lady, Sango-chan?
Sango had never seen Kagome before; but she had to guess that the pretty lady was her brothers dear Kagome-chan.
A friend of Inu-chans
Shes sad, Sango-chan; she was crying when I pushed Rin on the swings.
Sango looked down at the little boy, then pulled them both with her as she turned and walked back toward the car.
Come on, Inu-chan will get home just fine without us.
Kagomes tears finally ran dry, and she looked up, letting her forehead rest against InuYashas.
I dont know what to do Inu-chan
Kagome knew what she wanted to do, but that different; she couldnt stay here safe in InuYashas lap forever.
I dont know what to do either Kawaii; maybe we just have to wait for something else to happen, you know, a something that will show us what to do.
Kagome very nearly giggled, What? Wait for Sesshoumaru to come find us like this so we can tell him were running off to be mates?
InuYashas heart skipped a beat when she mentioned them being mates, even though she was kidding, surprising him.
Hmm, are you intentionally signing our death warrant?
Kagome giggled, Of course; a little something to spice things up a bit before we die! You know, go out with a bang!
InuYasha raised his eyebrows, even though Kagome couldnt see them; Now Kagome, how many times have I told you; you cant go putting other peoples lives in danger for your own amusement.
Kagome rubbed her nose against his, causing his heart to skip another beat when he noticed how close her lips were; his own train of thought surprising him again.
Oh, Inu-chan, why not?
InuYasha leaned back, simply because his own thoughts were disturbing him, but he eyed her authoritatively; Because I said so! Come on Kawaii; lets get out of the rain.
Kagome unhooked herself from his waist and the swing, jumping into a mud puddle and splattering him with it as he stood.
Oh no Kawaii; we fought that battle before and I still have mud in my hair from that double whammy sneak attack!
Truly; InuYashas arms missed her in the middle, and his lap missed the warmth, and his chest missed
Kagome grinned but gave in without argument, leading the way down the hill to her little Bug.
Kagomes grin slowly faded as she remembered why she was here, in a park, in the pouring rain, with her Inu-chan. She stopped suddenly, InuYasha bumping into the back of her.
Kag?
He wrapped an arm around her waist, spinning her around to face him.
I forgot why I was here for a moment, she choked out, a sad smile gracing her lips before she fell onto InuYashas chest, resting her ear over the steady pound of InuYashas heart.
Suddenly, Kagome never wanted to go back to Sesshoumaru; she wanted to go home, not that she knew where that was anymore. InuYasha slowly raised her chin with a finger, his eyes searching her.
Come on Kawaii, climb on my back.
Kagome nodded, walking around InuYasha and easily making the leap to his back. InuYasha caught her legs before she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face in the damp silver mane as she inhaled the comforting scent she associated with InuYasha, holding on as if she would never let go; and she didnt want to.
InuYasha could feel Kagome settle into the crook of his neck, nuzzling into the hollow as her tears returned to warm his skin. He sighed, squeezing her legs around his waist as he ran, his rage slowly returning.
Maybe- maybe if that asshole hadnt punished her He winced; Sesshoumaru had once explained to him how to punish mates; taking them against their will. He growled silently; how could he let her go back now? Now that he really knew what he was sending her back to. He shook his head as he neared his apartment; this was too much to think about.
Kagome felt InuYasha climb the stairs, but she didnt want him to ever stop running. But, as the door closed behind her, she let her self slip until her feet rested on the floor.
InuYasha sat down in an oversized armchair, and she instantly curled up in his lap; intentionally placing an ear over his heart and a hand on his chest, the steady beat an immediate comfort along side the safety of his warm arms around her.
But even here, in InuYashas warm, safe embrace, nothing could push away her fears, her complicated life, or the fact that Sesshoumaru didnt love her. Kagome was floating; helpless; even InuYasha couldnt anchor her down now
Kagomes head was pounding, a flurry of thoughts and emotions falling on her. Maybe, maybe it was better if - if she went away Just for a little while; just to think and feel away from everyone, from all complications. Maybe
Thank you, Inu-chan, I I have to go now; I didnt ask Sessho to go, I just left. Hell be waiting, and angry.
InuYasha watched as Kagome sat up, intentionally avoiding his eyes. She was fidgeting, her scent laced with fear and deception and and she was lying to him He let out a strangled whimper, causing the hand on his chest to jump away.
Kagome
A guilty blush flushed her face a light shade of pink. She was lying to him. His sweet, innocent But she was Kagome
I I
Tears sprang to her ocean blue eyes as she held back a sob, falling lightly to his chest.
I - I just need time , Inu-chan, away from all this
He locked his arms around her as she began to cry quietly, holding as if she would disappear without his embrace to hold her there.
Kagome curled in on herself, sobbing softly into the soft fabric of InuYashas T-shirt as her hand returned to clench the fabric over his heart, the steady beat pounding into her fingers.
Slowly, Kagomes stiff form relaxed against him, her sobs fading to a steady rhythm as she slept. He swept a few stray strands from her face, running the silk between his fingers. She had tried to run, if she had made it to her car... He shivered; she would have gotten away, and he wouldn't have been able to follow her, not by scent anyway.
He stroked her hair as she slept, his other fingertips stroking her waistline without thought. He wasn't sure what to do now. He couldnt keep her here, regardless of what his youkai instincts told him to do. He couldn't let her go; it was a certainty that she would run. But could he ever let her go back to Sesshoumaru? Maybe... If he appealed to his logic he could keep Kagome from punishment, and Sesshoumaru would keep her from running...
He stood, pulling Kagome tight to him as he sprang into the mist from the windowsill. There's no other way... He assured himself, No other way...
Sesshoumaru set down his coffee, turning a page in his book as he sank back into the dark red leather. Firelight flickered against his profile in the dark room, sending cascading shadows along the dark wood floor and scattered rugs.
He lifted his eyes over the edge of the book, glancing at the door as the sound of footsteps and a muffled walking stick against carpet reached his sensitive ears.
The door creaked open and a hale old woman hobbled into the room, glaring at him in the semi-darkness.
You! Youre just like your father; a cave creature if I ever saw one!
Sesshoumaru snorted and returned to his book, That man and I are nothing alike.
Both of you, in this study at all hours going blind,
Kaede, you old women, leave me in peace.
Blind!
Kaede flung open the curtains, sending a gray light tumbling into the room.
You cant send me out! I come with this house and you knew it when you inherited it! I grew up with you, I know exactly what youre like!
If my mother didnt like the women, I swear
And youre brothers at the door, looking a right scoundrel as usual; those clothes I swear, the both of you! Your mothers raised you to be proper gentlemen like your father and-
Silence, he hissed, setting his book down and standing, walking quickly from the room with Kaede hurrying after him.
Now, young man!
He turned the corner and shut the door to his wing, hoping to slow the old hag.
He walked calmly to the front door, opening it to find InuYasha leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.
Yes, hanyou?
InuYasha stood, turning to face him, his mouth set in a very grim line; I heard you and Kagome had a bit of a falling out.
Sesshoumaru growled, And what business is it of yours?
Heard she ran away.
Sesshoumaru shut the door, stepping out into the breeze, the edges of his open shirt fluttering.
Im listening.
I found her.
Sesshoumaru growled; Than where is she.
Safe. Im not stupid, Sesshoumaru, Im not just going to hand her back.
Shes my mate, whatever your head tells you, and that means shes mine.
You punish her again, and shell run again. If I find her, I wont bring her back.
Hanyou, you test my patience.
She may be your mate, but that doesnt make it right.
Ill do what I want with her; weve been over this.
One more time, Sesshoumaru, and you know shell run.
Where the hell is Kagome?
Once more
I wont ask again; where is Kagome?
Follow your damn nose, you fuck off.
And with that InuYasha took off, running full steam toward the city.
Sesshoumaru growled in rage, torn between finding Kagome and going after his useless hanyou of a half brother.
He stood a moment, his nose twitching, before he jumped the three stories and onto the balcony, then two windows over to the second guest bedroom.
Kagome lay asleep on the bed, curled in InuYashas coat with her hair across her face.
He hated it, every last little scent in the room. She smelled like him, in every little crevice of her, almost covering the scent of himself. They had been together for hours at least, closer than sitting and carrying should bring them.
He calmly moved Kagome back to their bedroom, shutting the door. He held InuYashas coat in his hands, returning to the bedroom.
He threw the coat down and let out a roar, raging about the room in a fit not seen by this house since the years of his own childhood. The window smashed, vases thrown at walls, the mattress in shreds. He snarled and roared around, leaving claw marks along the walls.
He stood in the middle of the destroyed room, chest heaving, and looked around at the feathers fluttering. He growled, his eyes flashing crimson. He would not lose control of Kagome, she was his. Totally and indefinitely his.
Kagome awoke to the feeling of silk against her bare skin, her damp hair pressed against her face and neck.
"Hmmm," she mumbled, gripping the sheets with her hands; Was InuYasha wearing silk?
"Inu-chan?" She called softly, and a strained growl reached her ears.
Her eyes flew open to find herself back in her bedroom, curled under the white sheets of her own bed. Sesshoumaru was standing by the window, watching something she couldn't see.
"Your precious 'Inu-chan' returned you to me hours ago," he spat, the disgust he felt clearly evident in his voice.
"I can tell you haven't done anything, but that doesn't put you in much better of a position. You've been seeing him, haven't you?" His tone negated that he was more lecturing her than asking actual questions, so she remained silent as his words began to sink in.
"R-returned?" She asked slowly, sitting up against the headboard; certainly he hadn't, he wouldn't...
"Yes, returned. Hid you in the guest bedroom and told me to follow my nose."
She tried to press away the tears she felt coming, "Returned?" She whispered softly, shock gripping her as the truth broke through.
InuYasha had betrayed her. All those times he'd let her cry on his shoulder; there was a routine, there were plans. And now Sesshoumaru knew. But it wasnt him knowing that bothered her; it was InuYasha's betrayal. The words seemed to live in her very veins, unable to be pushed away by thought alone. And it burned.
Sesshoumaru could smell Kagome's tumbling emotions, and he ignored them. She'd been smart, the little bitch, to hide all this from him. InuYasha had forgotten that he could smell deception, and though it had only been slight it was there. He hadn't just found her in the park, and from all appearances, this was not at all their first visit.
He had calmed from his rage earlier, though the guest bedroom lay in tatters and under a layer of broken glass. He couldn't ever remember loosing his temper like that before; but then again, to his knowledge, he had never lost control of Kagome before either.
Kagome hugged her shoulders, trying with everything she had to end the echoing screams. But it wouldn't stop. Her skin continued to burn with the knowledge, her ears filled with the pounding of those words. And if it didn't stop... She shuttered, it had to. She knew; there was one thing that pushed away everything, one touch that made her forget her worries. And right now, she had never needed him more.
Sesshoumaru felt cool silk and warm skin press against his arm as he was pulled from thought, turning to see Kagome as she gazed up at him, her eyes containing a hidden look of pain, the air hinted sharply with it. She ran her fingers down his arm, and he watched as she pulled away, walking backwards to the bed before letting the sheet drop and beckoning him with a finger.
-!- Lemonaid -!-
Kagome let Sesshoumaru push her back onto the bed, her lips seeking his before she even hit the sheets. His hands gripped her shoulders for a moment before sliding down her arms, then back up her sides to stop just beneath her breasts. She pushed his shirt off his shoulders, and it slid easily from his arms before he tossed it away, returning his hands to her neck.
He pulled away suddenly, moving quickly to her breasts to suck a hard nipple into his mouth, causing her to gasp before moaning in pleasure as he circled his tongue around it. She tangled her hands into his sparkling hair, trying to force him down. She wanted it, she needed it; in the back of her head she was still screaming, her veins only beginning to burn with a different kind of heat.
But he pushed back, moving to her left breast and paying it those same attentions as she continued to moan. He made his way down her stomach as she shimmied up farther onto the bed, spreading her legs in anticipation. He flicked his tongue across the top of her sensitive clitoris, sending waves of heat radiating to her veins, pushing away her earlier pain.
He stood, and she reluctantly let her fingers slide from his hair before he removed his jeans, quickly burying himself all the way into her, earning a small scream as she nipped at his shoulder, all thoughts and echoes of her earlier pain banished at the intense feeling. She found his lips, her tongue invading his mouth as he moved rapidly in and out of her, his hands clenching her hips and pressing her down to the bed as he grunted into her mouth with each new thrust.
He pulled away from her mouth and returned to her breasts, licking and sucking as she moaned, her hands gripping at his back and neck, her nails drawing blood when she hit a peak. Without warning, he thrust violently into her and bit down on the nipple in his mouth, the intense different feelings causing her to scream in both passion and pain as she arched her back under him, feeling him shake with his own orgasm before he fell to the side of her, nuzzling and nipping at her mark as it pulsed.
-!- No More Lemonaid -!-
- By CherryBlossomMiko
--
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, hrmph.
Summary: Kagome's feudal, lust-based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. There's only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now Kagome's feelings for him are what are causing her controversy; can she figure it out before she looses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, adult themes, and adult situations.
Author's Note: Dictionary at the bottom of chapters where needed.
--
:: Chapter One: Reflections ::
- Lyrics from: Fields of Innocence, Evanescence
--
Kagome sat stiffly next to Sesshoumaru, her barely contained anger making her quiver. Sesshoumaru's fingers were stroking her bare thigh, but it did little to ease her growing rage.
Sesshoumaru was smirking next to her, perfectly aware of her anger, "Something... wrong?"
Kagome snapped; this was stupid, every last little bit...
"Yes! Yes something is very wrong! That's twice, twice , in a month!"
Kagome's eyes were blazing, and even if she had wanted to stop, which she didn't, it was quite impossible now.
"Two fights, two huge scenes! Two absolute embarrassments over nothing! Nothing! I was just talking to him goddamnit! I-"
A resounding smack echoed through the back compartment of the limousine. Kagome gripped her burning cheek, tears springing into her eyes.
"Do not swear, Kagome, it is most unlady like. And I will create these, scenes , where, when, and as often as I want to.
Kagome curled in on herself, away from Sesshoumaru, his flaming handprint turning a violent red. He had never, not once in two years... Her tears spilled over as she pulled her stocking feet up, burying her face in her knees.
Sesshoumaru twirled a hand in Kagome's raven locks, "It's all for the best Kagome, I know what's right for us. You just leave it all up to me and everything will be fine."
Kagome looked up, her blue, tear-filled eyes searching Sesshoumaru's unemotional face as he sipped another brandy.
"Did you ever love me? Even just a little bit?"
Sesshoumaru had turned away before she had even begun to speak.
"Hmm? Oh yes, of course dear."
Kagome buried her face back in her knees, her tears flowing unchecked. He only called her dear when he wasn't paying attention.
"Sessho, why?"
Sesshoumaru swirled the brandy in his glass, a vague 'Sessho' reaching his ears. He looked down at Kagome, tangling his hand back into her raven hair. The silken strands wove over and in-between his fingers, sliding between his fingertips.
What was all this love nonsense she was talking about? Love? He didn't love things; he was attracted to people, he was interested in things; but love was not an emotion he felt, love made you weak, vulnerable; something he never could and never would be. His father hadn't loved his mother, and they had been a brilliant match, in business as well as home. But then, his damn father had ruined it by falling in love with that human woman, which had been the beginnings of InuYasha and the end of his life. No, he did not love Kagome; but they were a good match; she was attractive, smart, successful; one of the few women he deemed good enough to stand by his side.
But she was human; she didn't understand how these things worked, and so he had had to show her how perfect their match was, which had to have been the root of all this. He understood that humans married for love, and assumed Kagome would marry him for the same reason; but he had never expected that she'd want, even require his love in return. He sighed, leaning back into the leather and pushing his thoughts away. He'd stay with her tonight, be there when she woke up, and hope that that would be enough to end her conquest for his love, at least for a month or two.
Sesshoumaru heard Kagome's breathing slow and the tension in her back visibly eased. He felt the limo stop and he moved over to the other side of Kagome, waiting for Kouga to open the door before he scooped her up and walked inside, heading straight for their bedroom.
Kagome awoke to feel the bed sink next to her before a pair of strong arms wrapped around her waist. She blinked several times, trying to clear the fog that slowed her thoughts. She turned over, meeting the glowing eyes of Sesshoumaru.
He kissed her softly, his tongue gently probing her mouth. He turned her back around, planting a quick kiss to her temple before she felt him nuzzle affectionately into the crook of her neck.
"Sessho-"
"Shh, go back to sleep Kag..."
Kagome closed her eyes as Sesshoumaru began purring into her neck; a soft and comforting sound that rumbled in his chest, the calming vibrations tingling against her bare back. She placed a hand over the one resting on her waist, intertwining their fingers under the sheets as he tangled his other hand in her hair before she drifted off to sleep.
-
Kagome felt a warm breeze on her neck as she drifted somewhere in-between sleep and awakening.
"Hmm..." She mumbled; Sesshoumaru must have opened the window.
Kagome sighed, shifting slightly. And then all of the sudden, a thumb was slowly stroking the back of her hand. Kagome's eyes shot open.
"Who-?"
She twisted, and the gentle breeze on her neck stopped. Kagome turned over slowly, and met the sleeping, peaceful face of Sesshoumaru. Kagome sucked in a quick breath, her free hand reaching up to push a few stray strands of hair away from his face.
"Sessho..." She whispered, her eyes straying for a brief second from his peaceful face to the window, still stunned by the sunlight pouring onto their bed.
He was still there... Kagome smiled, leaning her forehead against his. He was there, solid, real; his fingers locked with her's and tangled in her hair. It wasn't a fantasy, a hallucination; he was really there, with her, and it was morning.
"Sessho, wake up Sessho..."
Sesshoumaru heard someone whisper his name, and he was easily pulled from a dreamless sleep to the land of the awakened. He opened his eyes to a pair of large, sparkling ocean blue ones. Kagome smiled at him, rubbing her little nose against his.
"Sessho; you- you're here, with me, and- and its morning ."
Sesshoumaru gave her a small smile and kissed her soundly; a gentle, slow kiss instead of the hungry, passion-filled ones he normally greeted her with.
"I'm here Kag, and its morning."
Kagome giggled and gave him a quick peck, sliding her fingers through his silver hair.
Kagome was giddy; maybe- maybe InuYasha was right, maybe he just couldn't express his feelings like she could. But that was okay with her; if she could wake up to this every morning...
"Breakfast?"
"Let's have it up here."
Kagome giggled, climbing out from under the sheets and slipping on her black satin robe, which was always hanging on the bedpost. She walked to the door, sliding the small bamboo screen in the wall aside to reveal a small black console. Kagome reached a finger forward, pressing in a small stream of numbers.
"Kaede?"
"Yes, Lady Kagome?"
"I'm sorry to bother you; but I had some sliced fruit in the fridge and-"
"Say no more, Lady Kagome; it'll be up in a moment."
"Thank you," Kagome replied, pressing the power button and sliding the small screen back in place.
Sesshoumaru popped a mango square into Kagome's mouth. Kagome smiled at him, rising to her elbows to kiss him, the taste of mango still fresh in her as he slowly explored every crevice. He ran a hand along her neck, hooking his thumb in front of her ear, stroking her cheek as he slowly pressed Kagome back into the sheets.
Kagome placed both hands on his chest, pushing him back; "Sessho..."
Sesshoumaru pushed back, placing short kisses to Kagome's tempting lips.
"Sessho... We. Can't... Do... This now."
Sesshoumaru growled playfully, "And why the hell not?"
He moved down to her neck, nipping and licking at all the sensitive spots he had found in the past two years.
"Because... we, ooh, we have-," Kagome gasped, the hands on his chest sliding around to grip his back, regardless of her words, "We have to work."
Sesshoumaru nipped at her pulse point, supporting himself on his forearms, "No we don't; we can work tomorrow," he lapped at the hollow of her shoulder, "A little day off can't hurt..."
Kagome let out a soft sort of moan, "I, I... ooo, but I have a, ohh, a meeting."
Sesshoumaru shifted his body slightly to the left, supporting his weight on one arm as he traced small circles on her stomach, "Be late," he mumbled, nuzzling into the crook of her neck as his fingers danced.
Kagome ran a hand through his hair, sucking in short breaths as his fingers found her ticklish spots.
"I... oh, I can't. Ooo, it's with, it's with my boss."
Sesshoumaru growled, slowly rolling off to the side until Kagome was free, although his lips were still attached to the crook of her neck.
"Mmph," he removed himself, pulling his wandering fingers away from her smooth skin, "Fine, go take a shower."
Kagome smiled at him, giving him a quick kiss before throwing he legs over the edge of the bed, standing to walk toward the bathroom.
Sesshoumaru watched with a smile as Kagome walked toward the bathroom, intentionally swaying her hips as she moved. He could smell her excitement; her scent lingered in the air around him, and it took most of his self-control not to follow her into the shower and take what he wanted.
Instead, he got dressed, pulling on a pair of baggy blue jeans and a gray beater while reminding himself of his 'be nice to Kagome' ploy. He ran a hand through his tangled hair, pulling out the worst of the knots. He walked over to Kagome's side of the bed, turning on the stereo to some random station before venturing into his small business alcove, turning on his laptop.
Kagome finished toweling off, wrapping her towel around her before applying her make-up and brushing her teeth. She walked into the bedroom, straight into her closet. Kagome flipped through her suits, pulling one out and walking over to the bed.
Kagome quickly changed into her suit, skipping the nylons before her fingers deftly buttoned the front of the jacket. The suit was very ordinary, but her body did it wonders. The suit was black with fine white lines, the skirt falling about mid-thigh with a small slit up the back. The white shirt underneath overcame the tight jacket in the collar and the end of the sleeves. She left the top three buttons of her shirt undone, showing off her ample cleavage.
Kagome walked back into the bathroom, letting her hair down and reaching for her brush. As her hand closed over the handle a hand rested on her's, and she looked up to see Sesshoumaru's face in the mirror.
"Can I?"
Kagome nodded, handing him the brush.
Sesshoumaru ran the brush through Kagome's dark locks, his hand following after the brush to feel the silken strands. He had always liked Kagome's hair; long and shiny it was a magnet for his fingers. He finished brushing her hair and looked up at her in the mirror.
"Arigatou."
Instead of answering a hand on her chin placed her lips at a kissable angle, allowing him access to her sweet depths. He sighed into her, running his tongue along her's slowly. Finally, he pulled away, leaving Kagome with a goofy smile.
Kagome smiled at Sesshoumaru in the mirror, leaning against him in all the spaces and hollows that fit her perfectly. 'I love you' she mouthed in the mirror, closing her eyes as he buried his face in her hair and neck, taking a deep breath before he turned and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Kagome to smile at the reflection of his back.
Sesshoumaru heard Kagome pull out of the driveway and speed off. He leaned back in his comfortable chair, typing absent-mindedly with one hand and his feet up on the desk.
He couldn't remember a day when Kagome had smiled so much; and when she wasn't fighting with him she could be quite enjoyable. He sighed; perhaps he should try this pleasing her thing more often, especially since it made her so agreeable. He let his feet thumb back to the floor, moving closer to the desktop to shuffle through a pile of papers.
Kagome arrived home around three in the afternoon, a frown planted on her pretty face. She dropped her laptop and shoes in the front hall, rolling her neck as she walked into the living room, flopping down onto the couch and crossing her legs, sighing.
Sesshoumaru walked in, his hands giving her tense shoulders a squeeze as he circled around her.
"Come," he ordered, grabbing her hand and pulling her with him.
Kagome followed Sesshoumaru up the ornate staircase, but not in silence; "Sessho, I'm tired, I'm tense; can't I just go to sleep?"
Sesshoumaru turned, giving her a short glare and a growl before he pulled himself together, quickly turning his face to a calmer expression, "Let me ease that tension, Kagome."
Kagome fell silent, slumping her shoulders in defeat. Then, she looked up again, yanking her hand from Sesshoumaru.
"No! I want to sleep, and sleep I will, now."
Sesshoumaru's anger flared easily. He whirled around, grabbing both of Kagome's wrists in one hand and pinning her against the wall, his face a mere inch from her's.
"I still make the rules here, Kagome, you will obey me."
"I- No! I am your wife! We're equals!"
Sesshoumaru's lips covered Kagome's in a painfully hard kiss, a strong hand keeping her face forward. He pulled back, noting the tears in her surprised blue eyes.
"You have gotten far too disobedient lately; you need to be punished. Would you like to make it worse on yourself?"
Kagome whimpered, turning her head and struggling in his grasp. Sesshoumaru yanked her face back, his eyes flashing crimson for a moment.
"Answer me wench, do you? Do you?"
Kagome looked up at him, a fire blazing in her eyes, "Yes," she answered, narrowing her gaze.
A smack and another bruising kiss as a red, hand-shaped welt rose on Kagome's cheek.
"What was that?"
The fire in Kagome's eyes paled in comparison to Sesshoumaru's, which quickly extinguished any fight in Kagome as she lowered her head.
"No, Sesshoumaru-sama."
"Good, come on."
Kagome followed, without a word, her head bowed in shame. Damn him, and I thought... Kagome chuckled at herself for being so stupid; of course he didn't love her, he never had. Kagome laughed inside; even she knew she was only angry to keep from sobbing.
-!- Lime-ade For Sale -!-
Sesshoumaru pushed Kagome down on their bed; his mouth instantly seeking her's in a passionate, hungry kiss. He tore her shirt and jacket to shreds as he kissed her, his hands roaming over her bare breasts as lust placed a crimson tint in his eyes. She still lay teary-eyed and unresponsive beneath him, but he barely noticed.
Sesshoumaru removed his own shirt, crushing her breasts between them as he invaded her mouth, his hands roaming down as he shoved her skirt up.
Kagome whimpered underneath Sesshoumaru, her tears flowing freely as he played with her body. She didn't know what to do; even InuYasha couldn't help her now. She waited as he pleasured himself, her silent sobs repressed to keep from him the joy of how successful his punishment really was.
-!- Bye Bye Lime-ade -!-
Sesshoumaru climbed off Kagome, locking her wide-eyed blue gaze for a moment.
"Perhaps now you will behave?"
Kagome nodded, barely a tilt of her head as her tears continued to flow.
He dressed and left, walking down to the kitchen in hopes of finding lunch.
^-^
i still remember the world
through the eyes of a child
slowly those feelings
were clouded by what i know now
where has my heart gone
an uneven trade for the real world
i want to go back to
believing in everything and knowing nothing at all
^-^
Kagome laid on the bed, her arms still up next to her sides, her hands near her shoulders as twisted silk rubbed against her back. Shock kept her from moving, but her thoughts were on overdrive, tumbling in and out before she could analyze or understand them. A breeze came through the now open window, tickling her neck and cooling her tears as a ghostly memory of this morning surfaced, forcing Kagome to choke back a sob before her whole body shuttered, causing her to drag in a gasping breath.
Finally, after what seemed like days to Kagome, her body responded to her commands, her arms moving to cover her bare chest. She reached a tentative hand out, pulling a sheet over her, even her head; engulfing her small, shaking form in darkness.
As Kagome lay there, curled up in the dark, she learned something; you cant hide from yourself, no matter how much you want to escape.
Kagome crawled from under the sheet, pulling it with her as she set both feet on the floor, pausing a moment before standing and walking into her closet; pulling out a pair of jeans, a white tank top, and a black hoodie, tight in the arms but loose elsewhere. She changed quickly, running a brush through her hair before grabbing her sneakers; her need to get out winning over her need for a shower.
Sesshoumaru heard Kagome walk down the stairs, the strong scent of her anger, depression, confusion, and self disgust assaulting his nose, surprising him with its intensity. He expected her to come straight to him; but instead he heard the front door open and close before a car sped off. He sat at the kitchen table, a deep, angry growl rumbling low in his chest. So, Kagome still hadnt learned her lesson, even after all this. Hed deal with her later
Kagome was lost in her thoughts, turning down random streets. Part of her wanted to run to InuYasha, fling herself in his arms and let him murmur it all away. But another part of her wanted to try and be independent, try to figure things out on own for once.
Kagome stopped at a light, her eyes wandering to the hill on her left, a swing set, empty, a swing rocking back and forth in a breeze she couldnt feel against a gray and desolate sky. Kagome pulled off to the left, easing her small car into a small space on the roads edge before leaning back against the seat, still gripping the wheel tightly.
~
Kagome sat down on an empty swing at the far end of the swing set, the tips of her sneakers dragging along the ground as she swung slowly back and forth. A little boy and girl walked over from the sandbox, their knees the dirty yellow of the sand, their little hands gritty from their play as the little girl slid onto the swing furthest from Kagome.
Come on, Shippo, push me!
Alrighty Rin, hang on!
Kagome sighed softly as the little kitsune push the girl, their happy chatter and giggles drifting to her on the cold breeze, stirring up the leaves as it stirred up her memories
Come on Inu-chan! Just one little underdoggy!
No, you said that eight underdogs ago!
Please?
No.
Pleeeease?
No.
Pretty pleeeeease?
Nnn-
InuYasha was cut off by an authoritative voice from a nearby tree, its owner leaping to the ground and landing gracefully next to the swing set, giving InuYasha a pointed look.
You weak hanyou. Shes only a little human girl and youre tired already?
He placed both hands on Kagomes back, earning a small reprimand from the girl as she twisted around in the seat of the swing to look at him, Thats not how you do it! You have to pull me back first, then run forward, duh.
The boy, a head taller than the both of them, gave her a sarcastic glance before motioning her to turn back around with a finger. Kagome turned, shaking her head skeptically as the boy again placed both hands on her back
Ready? Three Two
Kagome felt the a surge of speed and before she could blink she was nearly ten feet in the air, and as she came down she saw a smug Sesshoumaru smirking at a grumpy InuYasha. But Kagome was too caught up in the feeling of soaring to care much. The wind whipped past her face, flinging her dark locks around her in a wild whirlwind.
I love you Sesshie-chan!
Dont call me that! The tree answered, the leaves of one branch rustling slightly, and on the ground InuYasha fehed and punched the tree, shaking several green leaves from their branches. The tree swore calmly and a branch fell on InuYashas head while Kagome laughed in the backround, the swing showing no signs of slowing.
Kagome was jolted out of her memories by a sudden downpour, the rain drenching her as the small children screamed in delight and began to dance back towards the woman calling them, singing a small tune about dancing in the rain. Kagomes hair soaked through quickly, sticking to her neck as her clothes too were plastered to her frame. She cocked her head before glancing up at the sky, the dark clouds seeming to glance back at her. Thunder boomed, but Kagome had seen no lightening, so she stayed put, her eyes wandering.
Kagome smiled sadly as she watched the woman try to usher the excited children out of the rain, though with little effect. She remembered life at that age, so simple and happy. She hadnt had to worry about anything beyond her playmates and her toys, and even though every little thing seemed monumental to her then, it had all truly been very simple. Just her happy, giggling days with Ayame, InuYasha, and Sesshoumaru.
Kagome sighed as her thoughts wandered back to why she was out here, sitting on a swing in the rain. Tears sprang to her eyes, and instantly Kagome wished shed gone straight to InuYasha, though her legs seemed unwilling to bring her there now. She tried to push those thoughts away and follow the example of the slowly moving trio, giggling in the rain. But no matter how hard she tried she couldnt push all her worries and complications away to just take simple pleasure in the rain; not even for a second could she return to the simplicity of her childhood. Kagome bowed her head, tears flowing freely, though they were indistinguishable among the cool raindrops that clung to her face, dripping off the edge of her small nose.
InuYasha saw Sango at the top of the hill, trying without success to usher Shippo and Rin out of the rain. He sighed, beginning the small trek up the hill.
Shippo, Rin, come on, now.
His words had instant effect, though not on their smiles but on the direction of their feet as they ran to him. Sango cast him a grateful smile, wandering after the children slowly, her clothes completely soaked already. He smiled back, wrinkling his nose to shake a drop of rain off, causing her to laugh. He was about to join in when the damp scent of sakura reached his nose.
His eyes opened wide, his every sense alert and open to everything around him. He scanned the surrounding area, and finding no sakura trees he bounded up the hill, his heart beating fiercely. It couldnt be, Sesshoumaru wouldnt allow her in this part of the city, certainly not
He crested the hill, his eyes instantly focusing on the only soul in the park; a dark haired girl, head bowed as she swung slowly back and forth on a swing, one arm wrapped in the chain. Her scent wafted to him, slightly stronger now, but no different.
Kagome? Kagome!
As he ran closer her was sure it was her, the strong emotions a scent that constantly stood along side the sakura and his asshole half brother. He growled as he smelt tears and self-disgust, mixed with confusion and depression. He fell to his knees in the mud, a gentle hand lifting her chin as his growls faded, concern for Kagome overriding his rage.
Kag? He asked softly, his thumb brushing away tears and raindrops alike.
InuYasha, she mumbled, falling on to him before wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her face under his rain-soaked silver mane.
InuYasha scooped her from the swing, sitting himself before allowing her to straddle his hips and sob into his chest in a way she hadnt in years. InuYasha could smell her overwhelming sorrow, but the self-disgust was what disturbed him. He rubbed claming circles on her lower back, mumbling nonsense into her ear as she continued to cry.
Shh, Kagome, its okay. Im here, Im here now
Kagomes sobs slowly quieted until they became small hiccups, the small sound comforting to InuYasha compared to her prior sobs. She looked up at him, her eyes wide and her nose red from a mix of crying and cold.
What happened, Kagome, you can tell me
She looked away, over toward a large oak tree, as if afraid to meet his gaze.
I I was punished
InuYasha growled, the low rumble making Kagome jump slightly, though her gaze did not waver from the old tree.
Then why are you upset with yourself? He asked, shoving his anger away as best he could.
I Maybe- maybe I could have stopped it, but I- I didnt
She hiccuped softly at the end of her sentence, still refusing to meet his gaze. InuYasha raised a hand to her chin, slowly returning her gaze to his.
You couldnt have done anything Kagome, he would have used extreme force if he thought you needed to be punished. It was probably better that you didnt. Its okay not to fight sometimes, smart more often than not. You did it right, Kawaii, its all going to be fine.
Kagome leaned forward again, resting her forehead against his shoulder, You were wrong, you know, he doesnt love me, he never did; I can see that now; I hung on to that hope for so long
She fell silent as he wrapped both arms around her waist, squeezing her to him, Im sorry Kawaii, Im so sorry
Her admission had brought forth another wave of tears; he could smell the salt as he placed a hand on the back of her head, slowly rocking the swing.
Sango rose over the edge of the hill, a poncho-covered child on each hand.
Whos the pretty lady, Sango-chan?
Sango had never seen Kagome before; but she had to guess that the pretty lady was her brothers dear Kagome-chan.
A friend of Inu-chans
Shes sad, Sango-chan; she was crying when I pushed Rin on the swings.
Sango looked down at the little boy, then pulled them both with her as she turned and walked back toward the car.
Come on, Inu-chan will get home just fine without us.
Kagomes tears finally ran dry, and she looked up, letting her forehead rest against InuYashas.
I dont know what to do Inu-chan
Kagome knew what she wanted to do, but that different; she couldnt stay here safe in InuYashas lap forever.
I dont know what to do either Kawaii; maybe we just have to wait for something else to happen, you know, a something that will show us what to do.
Kagome very nearly giggled, What? Wait for Sesshoumaru to come find us like this so we can tell him were running off to be mates?
InuYashas heart skipped a beat when she mentioned them being mates, even though she was kidding, surprising him.
Hmm, are you intentionally signing our death warrant?
Kagome giggled, Of course; a little something to spice things up a bit before we die! You know, go out with a bang!
InuYasha raised his eyebrows, even though Kagome couldnt see them; Now Kagome, how many times have I told you; you cant go putting other peoples lives in danger for your own amusement.
Kagome rubbed her nose against his, causing his heart to skip another beat when he noticed how close her lips were; his own train of thought surprising him again.
Oh, Inu-chan, why not?
InuYasha leaned back, simply because his own thoughts were disturbing him, but he eyed her authoritatively; Because I said so! Come on Kawaii; lets get out of the rain.
Kagome unhooked herself from his waist and the swing, jumping into a mud puddle and splattering him with it as he stood.
Oh no Kawaii; we fought that battle before and I still have mud in my hair from that double whammy sneak attack!
Truly; InuYashas arms missed her in the middle, and his lap missed the warmth, and his chest missed
Kagome grinned but gave in without argument, leading the way down the hill to her little Bug.
Kagomes grin slowly faded as she remembered why she was here, in a park, in the pouring rain, with her Inu-chan. She stopped suddenly, InuYasha bumping into the back of her.
Kag?
He wrapped an arm around her waist, spinning her around to face him.
I forgot why I was here for a moment, she choked out, a sad smile gracing her lips before she fell onto InuYashas chest, resting her ear over the steady pound of InuYashas heart.
Suddenly, Kagome never wanted to go back to Sesshoumaru; she wanted to go home, not that she knew where that was anymore. InuYasha slowly raised her chin with a finger, his eyes searching her.
Come on Kawaii, climb on my back.
Kagome nodded, walking around InuYasha and easily making the leap to his back. InuYasha caught her legs before she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face in the damp silver mane as she inhaled the comforting scent she associated with InuYasha, holding on as if she would never let go; and she didnt want to.
InuYasha could feel Kagome settle into the crook of his neck, nuzzling into the hollow as her tears returned to warm his skin. He sighed, squeezing her legs around his waist as he ran, his rage slowly returning.
Maybe- maybe if that asshole hadnt punished her He winced; Sesshoumaru had once explained to him how to punish mates; taking them against their will. He growled silently; how could he let her go back now? Now that he really knew what he was sending her back to. He shook his head as he neared his apartment; this was too much to think about.
Kagome felt InuYasha climb the stairs, but she didnt want him to ever stop running. But, as the door closed behind her, she let her self slip until her feet rested on the floor.
InuYasha sat down in an oversized armchair, and she instantly curled up in his lap; intentionally placing an ear over his heart and a hand on his chest, the steady beat an immediate comfort along side the safety of his warm arms around her.
But even here, in InuYashas warm, safe embrace, nothing could push away her fears, her complicated life, or the fact that Sesshoumaru didnt love her. Kagome was floating; helpless; even InuYasha couldnt anchor her down now
Kagomes head was pounding, a flurry of thoughts and emotions falling on her. Maybe, maybe it was better if - if she went away Just for a little while; just to think and feel away from everyone, from all complications. Maybe
Thank you, Inu-chan, I I have to go now; I didnt ask Sessho to go, I just left. Hell be waiting, and angry.
InuYasha watched as Kagome sat up, intentionally avoiding his eyes. She was fidgeting, her scent laced with fear and deception and and she was lying to him He let out a strangled whimper, causing the hand on his chest to jump away.
Kagome
A guilty blush flushed her face a light shade of pink. She was lying to him. His sweet, innocent But she was Kagome
I I
Tears sprang to her ocean blue eyes as she held back a sob, falling lightly to his chest.
I - I just need time , Inu-chan, away from all this
He locked his arms around her as she began to cry quietly, holding as if she would disappear without his embrace to hold her there.
Kagome curled in on herself, sobbing softly into the soft fabric of InuYashas T-shirt as her hand returned to clench the fabric over his heart, the steady beat pounding into her fingers.
Slowly, Kagomes stiff form relaxed against him, her sobs fading to a steady rhythm as she slept. He swept a few stray strands from her face, running the silk between his fingers. She had tried to run, if she had made it to her car... He shivered; she would have gotten away, and he wouldn't have been able to follow her, not by scent anyway.
He stroked her hair as she slept, his other fingertips stroking her waistline without thought. He wasn't sure what to do now. He couldnt keep her here, regardless of what his youkai instincts told him to do. He couldn't let her go; it was a certainty that she would run. But could he ever let her go back to Sesshoumaru? Maybe... If he appealed to his logic he could keep Kagome from punishment, and Sesshoumaru would keep her from running...
He stood, pulling Kagome tight to him as he sprang into the mist from the windowsill. There's no other way... He assured himself, No other way...
Sesshoumaru set down his coffee, turning a page in his book as he sank back into the dark red leather. Firelight flickered against his profile in the dark room, sending cascading shadows along the dark wood floor and scattered rugs.
He lifted his eyes over the edge of the book, glancing at the door as the sound of footsteps and a muffled walking stick against carpet reached his sensitive ears.
The door creaked open and a hale old woman hobbled into the room, glaring at him in the semi-darkness.
You! Youre just like your father; a cave creature if I ever saw one!
Sesshoumaru snorted and returned to his book, That man and I are nothing alike.
Both of you, in this study at all hours going blind,
Kaede, you old women, leave me in peace.
Blind!
Kaede flung open the curtains, sending a gray light tumbling into the room.
You cant send me out! I come with this house and you knew it when you inherited it! I grew up with you, I know exactly what youre like!
If my mother didnt like the women, I swear
And youre brothers at the door, looking a right scoundrel as usual; those clothes I swear, the both of you! Your mothers raised you to be proper gentlemen like your father and-
Silence, he hissed, setting his book down and standing, walking quickly from the room with Kaede hurrying after him.
Now, young man!
He turned the corner and shut the door to his wing, hoping to slow the old hag.
He walked calmly to the front door, opening it to find InuYasha leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.
Yes, hanyou?
InuYasha stood, turning to face him, his mouth set in a very grim line; I heard you and Kagome had a bit of a falling out.
Sesshoumaru growled, And what business is it of yours?
Heard she ran away.
Sesshoumaru shut the door, stepping out into the breeze, the edges of his open shirt fluttering.
Im listening.
I found her.
Sesshoumaru growled; Than where is she.
Safe. Im not stupid, Sesshoumaru, Im not just going to hand her back.
Shes my mate, whatever your head tells you, and that means shes mine.
You punish her again, and shell run again. If I find her, I wont bring her back.
Hanyou, you test my patience.
She may be your mate, but that doesnt make it right.
Ill do what I want with her; weve been over this.
One more time, Sesshoumaru, and you know shell run.
Where the hell is Kagome?
Once more
I wont ask again; where is Kagome?
Follow your damn nose, you fuck off.
And with that InuYasha took off, running full steam toward the city.
Sesshoumaru growled in rage, torn between finding Kagome and going after his useless hanyou of a half brother.
He stood a moment, his nose twitching, before he jumped the three stories and onto the balcony, then two windows over to the second guest bedroom.
Kagome lay asleep on the bed, curled in InuYashas coat with her hair across her face.
He hated it, every last little scent in the room. She smelled like him, in every little crevice of her, almost covering the scent of himself. They had been together for hours at least, closer than sitting and carrying should bring them.
He calmly moved Kagome back to their bedroom, shutting the door. He held InuYashas coat in his hands, returning to the bedroom.
He threw the coat down and let out a roar, raging about the room in a fit not seen by this house since the years of his own childhood. The window smashed, vases thrown at walls, the mattress in shreds. He snarled and roared around, leaving claw marks along the walls.
He stood in the middle of the destroyed room, chest heaving, and looked around at the feathers fluttering. He growled, his eyes flashing crimson. He would not lose control of Kagome, she was his. Totally and indefinitely his.
Kagome awoke to the feeling of silk against her bare skin, her damp hair pressed against her face and neck.
"Hmmm," she mumbled, gripping the sheets with her hands; Was InuYasha wearing silk?
"Inu-chan?" She called softly, and a strained growl reached her ears.
Her eyes flew open to find herself back in her bedroom, curled under the white sheets of her own bed. Sesshoumaru was standing by the window, watching something she couldn't see.
"Your precious 'Inu-chan' returned you to me hours ago," he spat, the disgust he felt clearly evident in his voice.
"I can tell you haven't done anything, but that doesn't put you in much better of a position. You've been seeing him, haven't you?" His tone negated that he was more lecturing her than asking actual questions, so she remained silent as his words began to sink in.
"R-returned?" She asked slowly, sitting up against the headboard; certainly he hadn't, he wouldn't...
"Yes, returned. Hid you in the guest bedroom and told me to follow my nose."
She tried to press away the tears she felt coming, "Returned?" She whispered softly, shock gripping her as the truth broke through.
InuYasha had betrayed her. All those times he'd let her cry on his shoulder; there was a routine, there were plans. And now Sesshoumaru knew. But it wasnt him knowing that bothered her; it was InuYasha's betrayal. The words seemed to live in her very veins, unable to be pushed away by thought alone. And it burned.
Sesshoumaru could smell Kagome's tumbling emotions, and he ignored them. She'd been smart, the little bitch, to hide all this from him. InuYasha had forgotten that he could smell deception, and though it had only been slight it was there. He hadn't just found her in the park, and from all appearances, this was not at all their first visit.
He had calmed from his rage earlier, though the guest bedroom lay in tatters and under a layer of broken glass. He couldn't ever remember loosing his temper like that before; but then again, to his knowledge, he had never lost control of Kagome before either.
Kagome hugged her shoulders, trying with everything she had to end the echoing screams. But it wouldn't stop. Her skin continued to burn with the knowledge, her ears filled with the pounding of those words. And if it didn't stop... She shuttered, it had to. She knew; there was one thing that pushed away everything, one touch that made her forget her worries. And right now, she had never needed him more.
Sesshoumaru felt cool silk and warm skin press against his arm as he was pulled from thought, turning to see Kagome as she gazed up at him, her eyes containing a hidden look of pain, the air hinted sharply with it. She ran her fingers down his arm, and he watched as she pulled away, walking backwards to the bed before letting the sheet drop and beckoning him with a finger.
-!- Lemonaid -!-
Kagome let Sesshoumaru push her back onto the bed, her lips seeking his before she even hit the sheets. His hands gripped her shoulders for a moment before sliding down her arms, then back up her sides to stop just beneath her breasts. She pushed his shirt off his shoulders, and it slid easily from his arms before he tossed it away, returning his hands to her neck.
He pulled away suddenly, moving quickly to her breasts to suck a hard nipple into his mouth, causing her to gasp before moaning in pleasure as he circled his tongue around it. She tangled her hands into his sparkling hair, trying to force him down. She wanted it, she needed it; in the back of her head she was still screaming, her veins only beginning to burn with a different kind of heat.
But he pushed back, moving to her left breast and paying it those same attentions as she continued to moan. He made his way down her stomach as she shimmied up farther onto the bed, spreading her legs in anticipation. He flicked his tongue across the top of her sensitive clitoris, sending waves of heat radiating to her veins, pushing away her earlier pain.
He stood, and she reluctantly let her fingers slide from his hair before he removed his jeans, quickly burying himself all the way into her, earning a small scream as she nipped at his shoulder, all thoughts and echoes of her earlier pain banished at the intense feeling. She found his lips, her tongue invading his mouth as he moved rapidly in and out of her, his hands clenching her hips and pressing her down to the bed as he grunted into her mouth with each new thrust.
He pulled away from her mouth and returned to her breasts, licking and sucking as she moaned, her hands gripping at his back and neck, her nails drawing blood when she hit a peak. Without warning, he thrust violently into her and bit down on the nipple in his mouth, the intense different feelings causing her to scream in both passion and pain as she arched her back under him, feeling him shake with his own orgasm before he fell to the side of her, nuzzling and nipping at her mark as it pulsed.
-!- No More Lemonaid -!-