InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In The End ❯ Part Of Me ( Chapter 2 )

[ A - All Readers ]

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or this song.

Song: Part of Me

By: Linkin Park


"Inuyasha your such a jerk. OSUWARI !!!" Kagome was fuming as she waited for the spell to ware off. "Why do you have to keep telling me what to do? I can take care of myself." "I was just trying to protect you from that demon." Kagome put her hands on her hips and spat out, "You didnt have to call me a wench again. You know I hate that." Inuyasha droped his head and turned around. He said, "I deserved that, didnt I?" Kagome looked at him dumfounded and studdered out, ''A-a-are y-you okay?" He ignored her and ran deeper into the forest angry at himself. 'You Baka, your pushing her away. She is never goonna want to stay.'

Part of me wont go away.
Everyday im reminded how much I hate it.
Weighted against the consequenses
Cant live without it so its senceless
Wanna cut it out of my soul
And just live with a gaping hole

"Why do I have to continue to hurt her and make her mad? Why? Am I naturaly bad? I hate myself for it because... because I love her so much. Will I change? As he ran, he jammed his claws into the palms of his hands. Inuyasha could smell his own blood eminating, but ignored it. "Its my fault and im going to punish myself for it until I break this habbit. I dont let her see the real me, I never let her see. What is wrong with me?"

Take control of my life
And wash out all the burnt taste
I made the problems in the first place
Hang my head low cause its part of me
Ya hardly see right next to the heart of me

Back at camp everyone stared at Kagome in shock. Always being the first to speak Shippo said, "Maybe when you sat him he hit his head on a rock!" "Should we follow him?" Sango asked. Miroku responded, "Maybe its best if Kagome goes alone." "Yes maybe your right," Sango said. 'Hopefully they dont get into another fight ' Miroku thought to himself. "Take Kirara, it would be faster thtn going on foot." All Kagome could do was look at them. She still wasnt sure of what to do. KAgome continued to stare at her companions dumbly for a few moments before finaly saying, "Yes, thank you Sango. Its my fault , I take advantage of the subjugation beads. Sango said with a sad look in her eyes, "Dont blame yourself. He has been acting strange the past few days." Kagome looked at her and said, "Strange in many ways." Kirara then transformed and they were off searching for Inuyasha overhead the tall trees. Kagome thought 'Inuyasha stop running, talk to me please'

Sango and Miroku watched them leave into the distance in silence. The silence was then disrupted by a loud smaking noise and Miroku falling to the gound. "You lech," Sango screamed out. "Keep your filthy hands off of me." Will he ever learn?

Inuyasha made it to a faraway lake and looked in to see his reflection. "Why cant I be better? Be good enough for her, for anyone? Accept my protection."

Heard of the routine scar
New cuts where the old ones are
And now im sick of this
I cant stand the sand paper thoughts
That grade away at my sanity
Id rather not even be the man
Thats staring in the mirror at me

He roled up the sleve to his kimono and without looking began to drag a claw across his arm. He said to himself with resentment, "If I hurt any of the people that matter, I deserve this punishment. If i love her so much, why do I cause her so much anger and pain? Im feeling insain." The blood began to pool out as the cut went deep into his flesh. The smell of blood in his nostrils was too fresh.

Cut myself free willingly Stop just whats killing me (x4)
I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me

Kirara and Kagome searched over the forest for a while before spotting his familier red kimono next to a lake. 'How much more pain can he take.' They landed some yards away so he would not be able to smell them and Kagome sent Kirara away, "You need to make sure Miroku is not bothering Sango." She knew Sango could take care of herself, but Kagome needed to talk to Inuyasha alone. The large cat demon quickly left to go protect her master. Kagome realized, 'I need to hurry bbefore Inuyasha smells me or he will run even faster'

Inuyasha silently stared at his arm. the blood was going past his wrists and dripping off his finger tips. He slumped down when he finaly realized Kagome was approaching him. It was too late to run, all he could do was frown. "Inuyasha?" He got up and turned around as he put his arm behind his back. "Inuyasha im sorry for..." She stopped suddenly when she saw the blood dripping to the floor. Worry spread across her face. Your bleeding, what happened?" He quickly said, "Its nothing." He didnt want to say, but she knew it was something. "Its not nothing. That is realy deep." She began to untie her red scarf. When she grabbed for his arm, he did not allow her to. "Inuyasha, you know damn well I wont cause you any harm." With a hurt look she continued to grab for his arm. He finaly stated, "Whatever and allowed her access to his arm. Kagome continued to ask questions about the gash. He ignored her, but she persisted and with shame admitted he made the slash.

"What, why?" Inuyasha kept his gaze to the floor, unable to look her in the eyes. She continue to tie the scarf and finaly looked when he smelled her tears. "I did it because of all my fears." He was almost unable to say he was afraid because he did not want to be seen as weak. People take advantage of the innocence in crying. Especialy during a time periond when many humans, hanyous, and demons are dieing. "Your Fears?" "YES," he shouted. "Im afraid of making you mad, of hurting you, ... of making you sad.' He winced at the pain in his arm. "Im afraid of doing stupid things like this, this is not the first time. Ive been doing it since Kikyou told em she was going to kill herself. Im afraid of being alone" "I dont understand," she responded.

It cant be frightening if youve never felt it
Once its been delt with you feel
Like youve been touched with something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal I used to be
Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problems all gone
And then you start to see another peice that you cant let be

"I deserve to punished for everything I do. Thye worst part about it is that I love you." Kagome then let go of his arm and wrapped her arms around him. Shaking and crying uncontrolably, she mumbled into his chest, "Inuyasha I care for you and I dont want you to feel this way. Not ever, not another day." Inuyasha then pulled away from her embrace slightly to take her chin in his hand. Finaly able to look her in the eyes he said softly, "I dont want to loose you. i dont know what to do without you."

And that last reason'll fight to force yourself
Take it to the depths of the bottom of the well
And now you know you can choose the part of your heart
Where you insides bruise
You can live if your willing to
Put a stop to whats killing you

Inuyasha planted a soft kiss on Kagome's forhead. They then headed back to camp. All Kagome ccould think about is no matter what, Inuyasha would love her.

Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams away silently
Tis part of me wont go away, part of me wont go away
Everywhere I look around I see how everyone ought to be
Everytime I see myself theres always something wrong with me

Inuyasha thought to himself, ' I will make this part of me go away, for Kagome I will change, everything will change.'

I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me
Ifeel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me

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AN: That was the second chapter moer to come. I liked this one better than the other. It felt more personal because I have had past experiance with self injury (cutting/ burning).
Draven's_enigma