InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Incomplete ❯ Chapter 39 ( Chapter 39 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

By: Langus

It'd been nearly five months since the incident. Kagome'd thought of killing herself several times during those agonizingly lonely days, just so the feeling of dirtiness would be cleansed from her body, but she hadn't and she wouldn't. She'd always been a fighter and she wasn't prepared to stop fighting now just because everything seemed hopeless.

The optimist in her convinced her that Sesshomaru would still come for her, that he would fix everything and take her away. This place had once enveloped her like a warm hug, it'd been her home, but now everywhere she looked reminded her of the waking nightmare she was living in.

She'd never mentioned the rape because she felt too ashamed and embarrassed. She'd been weak when she needed to be strong, and he'd taken advantage of that weakness. She hated him with everything inside of her. Just the sight of his face made her want to wretch but she forced herself to remain civil.

Every time he touched her she had to will her body not to shudder. If she resisted him he would only rape her again to prove to her once more that she was his. He enjoyed telling her that fact. Not a single day went by where he didn't whisper it to her while no one else was looking.

"You are mine." The words were breathed possessively into her ear and it made her skin crawl. How had he become such a monster? She longed for the days when he'd been his normal half-demon self. He never would have touched her then, never would have attacked her like that. Hell, back then he got nervous just watching her from a distance.

Back then he had morals, he respected her, but now…now there was nothing. He treated her like he owned her and in many ways he did. She wondered every day if anyone would even believe her if she told them what he'd done. He'd spent the past years protecting her life, loving her openly, there's no way they would believe him capable of this right?

Kagome knew she'd never forget the look on his face the moment he realized she was pregnant. He'd smirked at her, his smile full of self-satisfaction as he snaked his hands around her waist and rested them on her belly. "Did you think I wouldn't find out?" he hissed into her ear.

She'd closed her eyes and shuddered at his touch knowing that she could never escape him now. "Once Sesshomaru finds out you're pregnant with my child, it's over between you two. He'll never want you again." When she'd started to cry silently he'd pushed her away in disgust and left her alone to her tears.

After hearing day in and day out how she'd been tainted, how Sesshomaru would never want to touch her again, she slowly began to believe Inuyasha's words. She could've escaped, she could've run away at any time with Rin to the Western Lands, but her fear held her back. What if he was right? What if he discarded her now that she was…tainted?

She knew how Sesshomaru valued his pride. Would he want to associate himself with someone who was too weak to prevent themselves from being forcibly taken? And what would he do about the child growing inside of her belly? Could he ever really accept a fully human child as his own? Rin gave her hope that it was possible, but then again, Sesshomaru had chosen her, she hadn't been forced upon him and she certainly wasn't the spawn of his loathsome brother.

The thought of killing the child never crossed her mind. She knew she didn't have it in her to destroy an innocent life. Just because she hated the father didn't mean she had to hate the child too. Kagome caressed the small bump of her belly and gasped as she felt the baby move inside of her. Even after everything she'd gone though, even though it was a constant visible reminder of the most painful day of her life, she couldn't hate it.

Rin popped up from behind Kagome, giving her a start. She shot her a warm smile and motioned for her to join her on the grass. The child had been so helpful during these past few months. She'd done everything possible could to make things easier for Kagome around the hut and clear the tension in the air. Every time she saw Inuyasha bothering her, she would make sure to sneak over to her later and whisper, "Don't worry! Lord Sesshomaru will come for us soon!"

The poor thing said that nearly every day and with such conviction too. Kagome wanted to believe her, but as the days, weeks and months slipped slowly by, she began to wonder if he would ever come for them. She'd almost resigned herself to living as Inuyasha's wife, regardless of how the very thought of it made her sick. She couldn't raise a baby alone, not in the feudal era, and she knew she couldn't go home. She couldn't disappoint her family like that and didn't have the heart to tell them what Inuyasha had become. They all loved him. Every time she went back home before they hounded her with questions about how he was doing and why he hadn't come along. It was just too painful for her to go back now.

Kagome patted the soft grass next to her, motioning for Rin to sit down but the girl shook her head. She pointed towards the hut with a small childish finger. "Inuyasha wants you to come inside now. He says it isn't good for the baby for you to be out so much." The priestess glanced towards the hut with a wry expression on her face. Smiling at the girl she patted the grass once more.

"Come Rin, sit with me please? Inuyasha can wait for us a few moments longer." Rin agreed with a giggle and sat down on the soft ground, pulling her feet up against her chest. Slowly rocking back and forth she eyed Kagome's hands as they subconsciously caressed her belly.

"Does the baby make you sad Kagome?" she blurted out, her cheeks blushing at her brashness. The priestess stopped her hands and looked at her confused.

"Why would you ask that Rin?"

"Because you always seem so sad. You never smile like you did when we lived at the palace. Is it because you miss Lord Sesshomaru?" Kagome had to smile at the girl's keen sense of intuition.

"Yes. I miss him very much." She sighed wistfully as she looked up into the cloudless sky above their heads. After a thoughtful pause she added, "And I am sad that this child is not his."

Rin rested her chin on her knees. "Don't worry Kagome! Jaken is sure to have found Lord Sesshomaru by now. He's going to come for us any day now, I just know it!"

The green imp had left several weeks earlier to return to the Western Lands in the hopes of finding Sesshomaru. He'd instructed Kagome to take care of Rin whilst he was gone and promised not to return unless his master was at his side. She'd waited patiently outside every day since then in the hopes that he would finally come for her, but each day she'd been disappointed.

It was beginning to seem as if this day too would turn out like the others. With a sigh of resignation, she stood up with a groan and stretched her back. She smiled down at Rin warmly and held her hand out to her. The girl gratefully grabbed onto it and pulled herself upright. She continued to hold Kagome's hand in hers, swinging it casually between them, as they slowly made their way towards the house. When Inuyasha appeared before them, the priestess instinctively tensed up.

"Oi wench! What took you so long?" he demanded with his hands on his hips. Kagome tried to ignore him and gave Rin a small thankful smile as she felt a reassuring squeeze from her tiny hand.

"Any day now…," she whispered softly.

Inuyasha cursed loudly and both girls looked up to see him dash into the house. He returned second later with a new sword he'd had fashioned for himself since the Tetsusaiga was nothing more than a relic without his demonic half to give it life. Kagome's brows knit together in confusion as she stared at him with her mouth agape. What's he doing? When she heard a word cross his lips, a name dripping with venom, she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Sesshomaru…"

Rin was the first to spin around, crying out with surprise and happiness. She broke her hold on Kagome's hand and ran off towards him with a cheer. "Lord Sesshomaru! I knew you would come!" she said laughing. After a moment of muted shock, Kagome turned slowly and gasped at the sight.

Behind her stood Sesshomaru, looking as perfect and graceful as she remembered him. He hadn't changed in the slightest. In every way he was still her demon and she longed to run to him and feel his arm wrapped around her. Inuyasha came up behind her and snaked his arm possessively around her waist. Kagome's breath stopped short and she remained frozen to her spot as if she were held there with chains and shackles. "Back off Sesshomaru, she's my woman now."

Kagome tensed at his words. Her skin crawled at his touch and she watched anxiously as Sesshomaru's cold amber eyes glanced between her and Inuyasha. After a moment they dropped to rest on her belly where they lingered for longer than she would've liked. Though it was still early in the pregnancy, the tell tale bump was impossible to hide from his probing eyes.

Kagome squirmed under his gaze and prayed to the gods that he would give her a chance to explain. All she wanted to do was call out to him, to beg him on her knees to take her home, but her throat closed shut with fear. She couldn't bear to hear him reject her, not after she'd waited so long to finally be freed from this nightmare.

Without a word, Sesshomaru turned his back on her with an elegant swish of his long silver hair. Inuyasha smirked at his retreating figure and Kagome fought the spots that began to form before her eyes. He was…leaving her behind! The thought of being left to rot in the Hell she'd been living for the past several months forced Kagome's heart into her throat and her feet into motion.

Wretching herself from Inuyasha's grasp she struggled to find her voice as she ran towards him. "Sesshomaru!" She fell to her knees in the dirt, her eyes boring into the white silk that covered his back as she begged him with her heart to stay, to listen. He stopped in his tracks and waited for her to go on. When she said nothing he looked over his shoulder at her, his eyes shining like molten gold.

"I said I would never share you Kagome. My mark still burns on your shoulder and yet I find you carrying another man's child. Any happiness I might have felt at seeing you alive dissipated the moment I realized your betrayal." Kagome felt her heart shredding as his cold words cut into her like tiny daggers. How can he think that I willingly let this happen? I didn't know…Sesshomaru…I swear I didn't know…

Kagome felt the strength leave her body as an all consuming defeat overwhelmed her. Her body wanted to move forward to be next to his but he turned away from her again and resumed his steady pace towards the horizon. "Come Rin," he commanded over his shoulder in a deep eloquent voice. She'd waited months to hear that voice and the sound of it brought painful tears to her eyes.

Rin watched the scene play out before her with open shock written on her features. Didn't Lord Sesshomaru know that Kagome loved him? She tried to broach the subject as they began to float away on the cloud he created at their feet but he silenced her with a fiery look. Rin gulped loudly and looked down below at Kagome and Inuyasha as their bodies grew smaller and smaller.

Kagome felt the panic choking her as Sesshomaru faded into the sky. No, this isn't happening. I must be in another nightmare… she tried to convince herself but Inuyasha's self-assured 'keh' from behind her told her it wasn't a dream. Hearing her lover's cold words playing over and over again in her mind, brought an epiphany to the forefront of her thoughts. She turned to Inuyasha and held him in place with a cold glare.

"How long have you known?" she managed to choke out through the rage. Cockily swinging his sword over his shoulder, he shrugged and turned his face towards the sky.

"Since the day Ginta and Hakkaku dropped you off. When a demon's mate dies, the mark they made disappears." Kagome's breath halted for a moment as she stared at his cocky stance and the smile on his face. He was so pleased with himself. The last shred of self control inside of her snapped and she lost it on him. If she had the strength to kill him, she would have.

"You-you sick bastard! You watched me cry my eyes out for months thinking he was dead. You took advantage of my pain…you…you convinced me he was never coming back! Did you honestly think that I would just forget about him? I never would have been yours Inuyasha! NEVER!"

Her voice breaking into a loud sob, Kagome turned her back on him and began running towards the woods. Her body drew her west and she understood instinctively why she had to go. Sesshomaru needed to know, he had to make him understand that she'd never chosen Inuyasha over him. She didn't care what he did with her after that, but she couldn't go on knowing that he thought she'd betrayed him.

The branches of nearby trees leaned out and whipped at her arms and ankles, punishing her body as she tore through the forest in a fury. Even though her lungs burned for more oxygen she pushed herself onwards, knowing that she couldn't give up no matter what the cost, not until the gates of Sesshomaru's palace were in view.