InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome's CDs ❯ "Part of Me" ( Chapter 7 )

Kagome's CDs

 

 

Disclaimer: Me: ''Hmmm…what should be my disclaimer this time?''

Kagome: ''BACK OFF! INUYASHA'S MINE!!!''

Me: ''Okay, okay…Inuyasha's not mine…''

(edging away from Kagome)

 

 

[Author's note at bottom.]

 

 

Song = Part of Me by Linkin Park

!NOTE! - I may skip some parts of the song to make the story go more smoothly.

 

 

Enjoy!

 

Italic words are lyrics

 

---Chapter 7 ~ Part of Me - Part 1---

 

(In Inuyasha's P.O.V.)

 

After Sango and Miroku returned the youngsters to their rightful parents, we decided to head back right away so Kaede can take care of Kokoro.

 

''Thank you so much!'' Kokoro kept repeating, as we made our way back.

 

Kagome smiled at him. ''Kokoro, we understand. No need for any more!''

 

None the less, the little hanyou bowed once again with a thankful smile on his face.

 

''You'll feel very welcomed there.'' Shippo informed his new friend.

 

''Oh, I just hope I don't give anyone any trouble.'' Kokoro said shyly.

 

Shippo rolled his eyes jokingly. ''Stop being so well-mannered, my friend. You'll fit right in.''

 

''Easy for YOU to say, you little rude runt.'' I added in.

 

Shippo gave Kagome one of those innocent looks.

 

''Sit, Inuyasha! You should speak for yourself.''

 

I grumbled yet again as I spit the dirt out from my mouth. Grr that little runt, always making me suffer.

 

>->->->->-<-<-<-<-<

 

''Mmhmm.'' Kaede nodded after we told her what happened up in the mountains. ''I understand. Kokoro is welcomed to stay here for as long as he wants.''

 

Kokoro immediately leaped to his feet. ''Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!'' He repeated as he bowed, with his face to the ground.

 

''Come on Kokoro, I'll show you around!''

 

Kokoro barely had time to answer before Shippo and Kirara rushed him out the door. Loud, excited children's voices were heard outside the cabin, greeting their new friend.

 

We then decided to stay for a few days for Kokoro, so that he can get to know the villagers better before we head out again.

 

>->->->->-<-<-<-<-<

 

''Please, Inuyasha!''

 

''NO!''

 

''PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!''

 

The perverted monk has been complaining and begging ever since we got into our hot spring and just like any other time; his perverted self is acting up again.

 

''Miroku, you know the answer to that. I said no and that's that.'' I answered back, frustrated. ''Why can't you just stay quiet and enjoy your bath here?''

 

''Come on Inuyasha. They're just right over there! Have some fun! Don't tell me you've never wanted to peek at Kagome.''

 

''Of course not! It's perverted and wrong! Only people like you would take pleasure in doing it.''

 

''Inuyasha, it's okay to admit it. After all, Kagome does have a perfect, slim body. Not to mention her big b--''

 

I glared at him with my death stare.

 

''…brown eyes!'' Miroku finished with a nervous chuckle.

 

I sighed. ''Miroku, just take your bath quietly.''

 

I pretended to wash myself and turned around, feeling a light blush creeping on to my face. Damn Miroku for making me think of Kagome's big… …'brown eyes'.

 

We finished our baths and was about to put our clothes on when I realized something horrible. Miroku looked over and realized the same thing. We stared blankly at each other.

 

Tetsusaiga was gone.

 

>->->->->-<-<-<-<-<

 

''WHERE THE HELL CAN IT BE?'' I yelled at the top of my lungs, trying to sniff out a scent. ''I can't believe I didn't pick up their scent! Why did I leave it out in the first place? I'm such an idiot!''

 

''They must've been very strong if neither of you saw them.'' Shippo commented.

 

''Did either of you saw anything unusual?'' asked Sango.

 

''Well, we were kinda distracted in there and we weren't paying much attention to our clothing.'' Miroku answered, giving me a quick glance.

 

''I didn't sniff out any unordinary scent by the spring. There's nothing I can follow.'' I said, worrying like mad.

 

''Do you think Sesshomaru took it?'' Kagome asked.

 

''No, I can pick up his nasty scent anywhere. Plus, he can't pick up my sword anyways.'' I answered, glad that Tetsusaiga has that special protection.

 

''What if he got a human to do it for him?'' Sango suddenly realized.

 

Miroku pondered the thought. ''That's a possibility…''

 

A loud explosion came from outside and interrupted our conversation. Then all of a sudden, a dark aura flowed through the village. We ran out side to see who caused it.

 

Kagura and Kana were floating up in the sky, surrounded by demons and poisonous insects.

 

''What are you doing here?'' Sango demanded.

 

''Oh, we just thought we'd stop by to say hi.'' Kagura replied, with her annoying soul less voice.

 

We sprang into action as the demons flew towards us. Sango got on Kirara and started attacking with her Hiraikotsu while Kagome aimed with her arrow. Miroku couldn't use his wind tunnel because of the poisonous insects so he just used his staff. And I had to attack with my hands, which was getting frustrated since there were so many demons surrounding us. Not to mention Kagura's annoying taunting.

 

''Aw, what's the matter Inuyasha, why don't you use your precious sword?''

 

Great. Just what I need. A whole bunch of Naraku's henchmen to come attack us when I don't hav-- wait a minute…

 

''KAGURA! It was YOU! You have my sword!'' I stared angrily at the Wind sorceress.

 

She laughed a cold, high pitched laugh. ''Took you long enough to figure out.''

 

She raised her hand, holding out her fan, and a dark purple bubble came rising from the ground.

 

We all gasped when we saw who was inside.

 

''Oh no! Kokoro!'' Shippo yelled. ''What did you do to him?''

 

''Well, we had to use some kind of tool to get the sword.'' Kagura answered coldly, fanning herself.

 

No wonder I didn't notice anything different. I wasn't expecting Kokoro to steal the sword so I didn't thought to follow his scent.

 

''Kagura!'' I yelled, wondering how I can reach Kokoro and get my sword back. ''What do you want?''

 

Instead of answering, she flew towards me, with an evil smile on her face. She came to me with her usual wind attacks and I managed to dodge her with multiple back flips.

 

I knew I can't keep dodging. I need my sword back.

 

Kagura seemed to be reading my thoughts as she kept attacking, each attack stronger than the last. I noticed the others were having a difficult time too. There were just too many demons to fight off.

 

''Why don't you just attack me, Inuyasha? Use your sword and stop attacking me with those pathetic claws. Oh whoops, I forgot, you don't have your sword with you!'' Kagura continued to taunt me.

 

I feel a burning anger inside me. ''I'll get you…''

 

''With what? Your bare hands?'' Kagura laughed and continued ''You're so pathetic Inuyasha. The only reason why you defeated all those other demons is just because you've got your father's sword with you.''

 

''Shut up! I'm just getting warmed up.'' I defended myself, feeling the anger within me growing like a burning fire.

 

''Oh? Well then, let's see if you've warmed up enough to save your beloved human woman.'' Kagura headed towards Kagome, who was already cornered by the other demons.

 

''Kagome!'' Sango yelled, trying to fight off the demons that were holding on to her Hiraikotsu.

 

''Blades of blood!'' I yelled, throwing my attacks out as fast as possible. I didn't do much damage to Kagura, but I was able to distract her.

 

''Give up Inuyasha. Without that sword, you're just a worthless dirty half-breed who can't protect anyone.''

 

''I SAID, SHUT UP!''

 

The fire that was burning inside me burst and I felt myself starting to transform.

 

''NO, Inuyasha! Don't listen to her! Please Inuyasha, control yourself!'' Kagome pleaded, running towards me.

 

It was no use, the transformation have already started. I can feel the demon blood inside me starting to take control. The hunger to kill increased as every second passed by. I knew it was too late to stop.

 

I quickly looked up towards my sword, hoping that I might still have a chance to touch it before I become a reckless demon.

 

''Attack me if you can, you dirty runt!'' That was the last thing I heard from Kagura.

 

I turned my head towards Kokoro, and that was the last thing I saw before I lunged for him… through my blood red eyes.

 

>->->->->-<-<-<-<-<

 

''Inuyasha?'' A worried voice asked softly, somewhere beside me.

 

''Ugh…''

 

I took in the scent around me and could pick out the familiar smell of Kaede's hut and the sweet scent of Kagome's. I slowly opened my eyes.

 

''Oh good, you're awake!''

 

I tried to sit up, but failed. My body felt weak; I can barely move my arms.

 

''Am I dead?'' I asked, grinning. ''All I see is a beautiful angel.''

 

Kagome giggled. She leaned towards me and gently lowered her soft hand onto my cheek. ''Thank goodness you're okay.''

 

I looked in her eyes. My heart swelled up once again, knowing she worried over me. Her beautiful eyes stared back towards me, a light smile on her lips. How I wish to be able to kiss those lips…

 

''Inuyasha!!! You're awake!''

 

I groaned. Just when I thought I'd get a chance to get closer to Kagome…

 

The others came in after Shippo, relieved expressions on their faces. I noticed Sango got scratches on her arm and Miroku's hand was purple.

 

''Guys… what… happened?'' I asked, confused. I then realized that I have no memory whatsoever of what had happened.

 

Kagome sensed my clueless ness and started to retell me the events.

''Well, after you transformed, you headed for Kokoro and--''

 

''I… didn't kill him… did I?'' I asked uncertainly.

 

''No, you didn't. Don't worry Inuyasha, you didn't kill anyone innocent.'' Miroku told me, reassurance in his voice.

 

Kagome continued. ''I tried to stop you, but demons came and tried to stop me. So instead, I aimed my arrow towards Kokoro and it shattered the bubble around him. Sango managed to knock the demons around her off and she caught Kokoro before he hit the ground. That's how she got hurt.''

 

Sango waved it off and continued for Kagome.

''Anyways, after when Kokoro fell, you went for the demons that were surrounding you. Even with you killing them, there were still a lot. I had trouble fighting them off, what with Kokoro and my injured arm. Miroku was having trouble fighting with only his staff so he used his wind tunnel. With the both of you attacking the demons, there weren't much left. Kagura saw this and she decided to leave.''

 

''But before she left, she said 'my work here is done.''' Shippo interrupted.

 

''I think all she intended to do was to get you to transform.'' Miroku added in, weakly. He was sweating and he had to prop himself up against the wall. Those poisonous insects can be such a pain.

 

''After Kagura and the demons left, you were still in your demon form so you headed for Kokoro again.'' Sango continued. ''But Kagome ran out and called your name. She managed to distract you and you hesitated at the sight of her. I threw her your sword and she came up to you. You slowly turned back into your normal form, but you collapsed afterwards.''

 

''You used a lot of your energy fighting off all those demons.'' Kagome told me, looking at me with a slightly worried expression.

 

I let the events sink in and slowly sat up, with the help from Kagome. ''I'm sorry I didn't control myself better. You guys got hurt because of me.'' I softly said.

 

''Don't blame yourself, Inuyasha. You didn't ask Kagura to steal the sword in the first place.'' Miroku told me.

 

''It's not your fault, Inuyasha. We understand.'' Sango added.

 

I sighed. ''I want to go for some fresh air.''

 

''Want me to come with you?'' Kagome offered.

 

''No, thanks. You should stay here to treat Miroku. I'll be back soon.''

 

I walked out of Kaede's hut and saw Kagome's bag lying opened on the porch. I took out her device and headed for my spot in the forest.

 

>->->->->-<-<-<-<-<

 

Leaning against the familiar space between the branches of the God tree, I took Kagome's device out and pressed the triangle button.

 

The same type of music came on, concentrating me to my thoughts.

 

Being a half demon, I often go through the different sides of being a human and being a demon. My human side comes out during every full moon and I spend the night as a pure human with no powers. My demon side, however, doesn't follow a certain cycle and can come out whenever. The only thing that prevents me from transforming is my father's sword, Tetsusaiga.

 

My father forged the sword because he wanted to use it to protect my human mother and along with it, his love for her also got transferred into the sword. By keeping the sword close to me, it somehow keeps my human side within me and it is able to balance my demonic side. That is why whenever the sword isn't near me, I loose all my control.

 

Part of me won't go away
Everyday reminded how much I hate it
Weighted against the consequences

It is really hard for me to control my demon side, especially when I'm angry. Whenever I'm in my demon form, I often do things I regret. I can never control my body and thoughts. I always end up hurting someone.

 

Can't live without it so it's senseless
Wanna cut it out of my soul
And just live with a gaping hole

Sometimes, I just wish I can get rid of that side of me. Just like my half human side, it creates so many problems in my life. I hate it when I turn as full demon because I can never control what I do, never think about what I'm doing and never remember what I've done. It's as if it's taken over my soul.

 

Take control of my life
And wash out all the burnt taste
I made the problems in the first place
Hang my head low cause it's part of me

I hate being a half demon.

 

My demon side doesn't even listen to me. In the past, I have killed many innocent people and not remember doing it. Unlike my demon brother, I actually do feel bad when I kill innocent people. Maybe it's because of my human mother and my human side, but I hate the thought of killing innocent ones. They don't deserve to die. They don't deserve to be killed… especially by a reckless half demon.

 

And now I'm sick of this
I can't stand the sandpaper thoughts that grade on my sanity
I rather not even be then the man that's staring in the mirror through me

 

Why must I be a half? Half human, half demon… why can't I just be a full something? Why must I get stuck in the middle?

Cut myself free willingly
Stop just what's killing me

I feel it everyday
I feel I made my way
I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside
Swallowing me

Fear and confusion is probably the worst combination of feelings you can put together. But that's exactly how I feel whenever my demon side takes over. Every time when I turn back to my normal form, I always feel so confused and so afraid that I've gone and done something terrible again.

Freedom can be frightening if you've never felt it
Once it's been dealt with you feel like you've been touched by something angelic
And then melted down into a pool of peace
Cease to be the animal you used to be

In the past, I've killed many people and demons. Aside from the fear and regret of killing those innocent victims, I also feel another horrible emotion.

 

Even though I may not remember what happened when I'm in my demon form, I often still remember the way I felt. Most of the time I feel anger because that's usually how I get turned into my demon form in the first place. But I also remember feeling a sense of freedom. A freedom to kill. A freedom to not care about anything but to destroy what's in front of me.

 

And the scary thing is that I enjoy it.

 

I enjoy killing people. I crave for their blood. I desire for people's death.

 

And I hate myself for feeling this way.

 

Remove the broken parts you know were wrong
And feel the karma when the problem's all gone
And then you start to see another piece of yourself

That you can't let be
Memories of the last fight to free yourself

I try very hard to control myself, but it's so hard. It is as if every time I go through the transformation I feel like I'm fighting with myself. It's a never ending battle between my human and demon side.

 

Take it to the depths of the bottom of the well
And now you know you can choose to lose the part in your heart
Where your insides bruised
You can live if you're willing to
Put a stop to just what's killing you

I do see some kind of hope though. Just a little bit.

 

And that's Kagome. For a few times now, she's the one that's been able to crack through the demon's controlling mind and get in touch with me. She's been able to pull me back to my normal self, calling my soul back to take control.

 

With her help, I can regain my control and learn to take my soul back from my demon side. I'm starting to learn to take control again because of her. I'm starting to resist.

Alive in me, inside of me, a part of me screams away silently
This part of me won't go away, part of me won't go away
Everywhere I look around I see how everyone aught to be
Every time I see myself I see there's always something wrong with me.

 

I am, however, only starting to learn. That side of me is still in better control. No matter how hard I try, I know that side will still stay within me. Controlling and taking over my soul.

I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me.

 

And I can't do anything about it because no matter what I do, I'll still be a half demon…

 

…an emotional, pathetically weak half-human, fighting with its reckless, dangerously powerful half-demon side.

 

I feel it swell up inside, swell up inside, swallowing me.

 

>->->->->-<-<-<-<-<

…And that's chapter 7.

 

I don't think apologizing will help much since I haven't updated this story for about uh… let's see… ONE WHOLE YEAR. But I'll apologize anyways. I'm sorry for not updating at all. I've had a lot on my mind and I got quite distracted in the past year.

 

Life was just taking too much of my time and I didn't have any spare time to sit down and write. Okay, that and I'm heck of a procrastinator. But you understand right? Heheh… Anyways, I promise I'll keep updating this story and I'll try to keep it within 2 months for each update.

 

Also, I think my mind's finally waking up from its writer's block mode cuz lately; I've been getting a lot of new ideas. I've started on another fanfic called 'Through A Lover's Eyes' and there's a lot of ideas for that fic.

 

So I hope this makes up for the long wait you had to go through.

 

Hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a review!