InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome's Realization ❯ Chapter 32 ( Chapter 37 )

Chapter 32

Inuyasha stared at Kagome. "What were me and Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked confused.

Kagome got up from the bed and started pacing back and forth. "The voices that I heard earlier this evening were you and Kikyo talking. I thought it was me, but you remember me telling you I wasn't sure who it was?" Kagome asked swirling around to look at him.

"Yes but I thought they were both women voices?" Inuyasha asked swinging his legs over the side of the bed watching Kagome resume her pacing.

"No, one was definitely a woman. As for the second I was too shocked at hearing a voice with no one in the room to really recognize it as male or female." Kagome rung her hands trying desperately to remember more.

"But now you know it was me instead of you?" Inuyasha asked.

"Yes." Kagome answered not looking at him.

"I'm not sure I understand what's going on, Kagome." Inuyasha said standing up to try and stop Kagome from pacing.

"I don't know if I understand myself, Inuyasha." Kagome said tensing at Inuyasha touching her shoulders.

Inuyasha felt enough resistance from Kagome that he didn't want to force her to turn around and look at him so moved to stand in front of her. "Kagome…" He started but Kagome pulled out of the grasp.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha said again with tender feeling.

"I don't want nor need you babying me, Inuyasha." Kagome said walking over to her window and opened it.

"I'm not trying to baby you, Kagome. I just want you to calm down and tell me what happened just a few minutes ago." Inuyasha said moving to stand behind her.

"If we would have realized what Naraku was doing, I would have been the one to have healed your heart. After you became human we could have had a normal life together." Kagome replied quoting Kikyo.

"Then you said: "But what if I had changed? Would you have liked me better?" that is what triggered my memory. After that she said "What do you want?" and you replied, "You know what I want." So like I said you and Kikyo were the voices I heard, not myself."

Inuyasha was surprised that Kagome hadn't turned around to tell him all this but was grateful that she hadn't upon hearing her quote some of the conversation he had with Kikyo, his jaw dropped and he had the look of complete surprise.

"You can remember that?" Inuyasha breathed after a few moments of silence.

"I'm not sure why I can remember a conversation had by Kikyo but I do. Were you going to tell me about your talk with her?" Kagome asked slowly turning around.

"Of course." Inuyasha said imploringly. "I thought waiting just a bit would be best."

"For you?" Kagome asked raising her brows at him.

"No, for you." Inuyasha said adding a silent prayer that they wouldn't end this night with a fight.

Kagome's face softened and she nodded her understanding before releasing a heavy sigh and turning back to the window.

"I wasn't going to keep it from you, Kagome." Inuyasha offered.

"I know you would have told me you talked with Kikyo." Kagome said. "I wondered if you might try and spare my feelings. But now I wonder if you will tell me everything that happened."

"Because now you know you may be able to see what happened for yourself? I'm not going to lie about what happened." Inuyasha said not sure if he should feel insulted or worried or maybe even humbled.

"Do you think I mean that with the possibility of seeing what happened for myself, because I'm starting to feel that technically I was there I might start remembering other things, that I'm suggesting you would otherwise possibly be lying? No, I didn't mean it like that. From what I've remembered it seems that you and Kikyo had a deep conversation." Kagome said leaning far out her window.

"Do you want me to tell you exactly what happened?" Inuyasha asked.

"Were you going to tell me exactly what happened?" Kagome countered moving away from her window to sit on the edge of her bed.

Inuyasha waited till Kagome looked him in the eyes before answering, "I haven't told anyone what was discussed because it is no ones business but mine and Kikyo's."

Kagome dropped her gaze to stare at her hands.

"I will withhold exactly what happened between Kikyo and myself from everybody except you. Most of the conversation took place with me knowing that you were gone and believing that Kikyo was to wonder the world with your soul sustaining her. It concerns you in every way. So, yes I was going to tell you exactly what happened but I wasn't going to hurry into the conversation till you had a chance to …. I don't know, compose yourself. It was, as you said, a deep conversation. Many things were discussed."

"Like?" Kagome questioned.

Inuyasha stood there for a moment before joining her the bed. "It was the day you were revived." He started. "The night before I remembered that the new moon was coming and feeling depressed about your not being there. Shippo and I had a friendly fight, friendly, as it didn't end with me hitting him on his head. I knew that the whole time that we had been traveling back to the village that Kikyo was following us. I could sense her presence. When I sensed her pass our campsite I considered going and talking to her but I decided against it."

"Why?" Kagome asked turning sideways on her bed so she could get a better look at him.

"I don't have any one good reason." Inuyasha laughed. "My first thought was that I didn't feel like getting down from the tree I was in." Inuyasha paused to smile when Kagome laughed. "The friendly fight I had with Shippo was over me needing to rest, so I thought of that too. My main reason, I guess, was that I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to see her."

"Because she had my soul?" Kagome asked.

"Basically." Inuyasha asked turning to face Kagome. "It felt so wrong that you were dead and that she now had a better life because of it. It was just so unfair that I didn't want to be around her."

"So you stayed where you were?" Kagome asked and Inuyasha nodded. "So the night passed and morning came, then what?"

"We did what we normally do, we gathered up our belongings and had something to eat before finishing our journey." Inuyasha said.

"This was the sixth day?" Kagome asked wanting to make sure.

"Yes." Inuyasha answered before clearing his throat. "I guess I should have known something was going on because Keade was waiting to greet us before the village even came into sight."

"Keade-baachan?" Kagome asked surprised.

"I was very surprised to." Inuyasha said. "If it wasn't for the fact that she shouldn't have known when we were returning it wouldn't have surprised me too much."

"Yes, from what I understand she shouldn't have. How did she know?"

"I guess Kikyo told her. I asked her but she didn't really answer me." Inuyasha said shrugging.

Kagome frowned at this.

"I asked her, after she answered my first question of what she was doing there with a waiting for all of you, was "Why are you waiting out here for us, Keade-jiji?"" Inuyasha said remembering.

"You didn't call her jiji?" Kagome asked laughing.

"I did."

FLASHBACK

"Why are you out here waiting for us, Keade-jiji?" Inuyasha asked.

Keade was silent for a moment before she answered. "I wanted to greet you."

"Have you been coming out here every morning?" Sango asked sounding very surprised, Shippo sitting on her shoulder.

"No." Keade answered and no one seemed to feel they should ask anything further so they simply watched her as she walked over to Inuyasha and looked at Kagome in his arms.

"Kagome-sama has died." Miroku offered quietly.

"I know." Keade replied while gently stroking Kagome's cheek.

"Keade-sama?"

"Come." She said ignoring their looks. "The horses should be put in the stable." And with that she turned around and led the rest of the way to the village.

Inuyasha looked at Sango and Miroku with a confused look and followed after her when Miroku shrugged.

"I find this very odd." Inuyasha heard Sango say to Miroku behind him.

"In the past few days I have found many things odd." Miroku said back.

"Yes but she seems to know much more than she is willing to say." Sango countered.

"She didn't even cry." Shippo added.

Inuyasha's ears twitched at this. What was going on now? He wondered. His thoughts were interrupted when he again felt Kikyo's presence. "I would say she is at the well." He whispered to himself. He came within a few steps of being inside Keade's hut when he decided that he would go and talk to her.

"Miroku?" Inuyasha said watching Miroku head in the direction of the stables.

"Yes." He answered turning around.

"I'm going to leave Kagome here with Sango and I'll be back to take her home." Inuyasha said.

"Inuyasha?" Sango asked confused.

"I won't be long." And with that he entered the hut and carefully placed Kagome on Keade's futon. When he left he found Miroku, Sango, and Shippo huddled together.

"I'll be back." He said running off in the direction of the well before they could say anything or question him further.

Seeing as I'm going to the well I should bring Kagome with me so I can take her from there, Inuyasha thought to himself as his surroundings passed him in a blur, but it feels wrong to take her with me to talk to Kikyo. Soon enough the well came into view and as he suspected Kikyo was there. Inuyasha slowed to a walk and wasn't to surprised when Kikyo ignored his arrival. She seemed to prefer staring into the well.

"What are you doing here?" Inuyasha asked standing a few feet away from her.

"This well has never held water." Kikyo said ignoring his question.

"Why would anyone build a well if you couldn't get water from it?"

"Because it's the Bone Eater well." Inuyasha said

"It's her portal." Kikyo said slowly turning around. "I thought you would bring her with you. You are still planning on taking Kagome back to her mother?"

"After you leave I will." Inuyasha said.

"So, now you hate me?" Kikyo asked.

Silence answered her.

"Do you remember when we first met?" Kikyo asked. "You were trying to steal the jewel and I pinned you by your clothes to a tree."

"What about it, Kikyo?" Inuyasha asked trying to hold on to the little patience he had.

"That was how we spent the first few months of our acquatiance, you trying to steal the jewel and my pinning you to a tree. You always asked me why I never killed you. Did you wish for me to kill you?"

Inuyasha had no real desire to remember their past but knew that Kikyo had to be going somewhere with all this. Deciding to see how long he could go before he lost his temper, he answered her question. "On the rare occasion, yes. I have always found life to be difficult as a hanyou and since it seemed impossible to steal the jewel from you, it seemed like a good idea from time to time."

"Why did you befriend me?" Kikyo asked.

"Kikyo, I don't want to do this." Inuyasha said wishing he hadn't come to talk to her.

"Why?" She asked again.

"Why does it matter? Why?" Inuyasha asked getting frustrated. "But if you want to talk about this lets remember it correctly, it was you who befriended me, not the other way around."

"It was you who tried to steal the Shikon no Tama." Kikyo pointed out.

"It was you who asked me to sit with you." Inuyasha countered.

"You had been following me."

"Because I wanted the jewel."

"I did not carry it on my person, which you were well aware, the time I was bathing would have been a perfect opening."

"If you were aware that I was watching you why didn't you say anything?" Inuyasha asked never realizing he had been caught.

"Because you meant me no harm." Kikyo said calmly.

"How did you know that?" Inuyasha asked.

"Instead of running from me you could have fought me for the jewel like all who perished before you."

"I had no desire to fight you."

"I know that is why I did not kill you."

"So you said but that can not be the only reason." Inuyasha stated.

"From the beginning I had no desire to kill you. You were unlike any other who has tried to steal the jewel from me, but you were the only one who didn't resort to nasty tricks. You were always honest with me." Kikyo said.

"If you had all this trust and faith in me then why did you believe, without second guessing yourself, that I was the one who gave you your fatal wound and took the Shikon no Tama that you had with you? Why would I attack you like that? You were going to willingly hand it over to me just before Naraku attacked." Inuyasha inquired.

"I could ask why you believed it was me who attacked you causing you to go and steal the jewel and be pinned by me?"

"You came back fifty years later with so much hatred for me, why didn't you kill me then? Why a spell to make me sleep?" Inuyasha asked.

"It was all I had the strength for. I knew that you would be able to survive anything else but that. I didn't not think anyone would be able to withdraw my arrow. It is made solely by and for its caster." Kikyo answered.

"Which is why Kagome could break your spell." Inuyasha supplied with an arrogant smirk on his face.

"Kagome should never have become part of this. She is five hundred years from now." Kikyo said.

"Or maybe we are five hundred years her past. You hate her because you're jealous." Inuyasha spat.

"Jealous?" Kikyo said with a laugh. "Jealous of what, exactly?"

"Jealous that she is a better person than you. She isn't as conceited as you and she isn't selfish. Jealous that she loves me the way that I am and doesn't want me to become a human or a demon because it's okay for me to be who I am." Inuyasha answered.

"I have given most of my life to protecting the Shikon no Tama and protecting that village." Kikyo points towards the village. "Taking care of the youkai that threatened us all the time. Healing people who needed me to."

"Yes, you did." Inuyasha said looking thoughtful. "You weren't thinking of their needs when you asked me to turn human and cause the jewel to purify itself. Do you realize that worse things could have happened that day if he got to us after I had turned human and you became a normal woman?"

"If we would have realized what Naraku was doing, I would have been the one to have healed your heart. After you became human, we could have had a normal life together."

"But what if I had changed? Would you have liked me better?" Inuyasha spat with great venom.

"What do you want?" Kikyo asked.

"You know what I want!" Inuyasha yelled.

"You're supposed to want me, not her!" Kikyo yelled back.

"I will never want you. I love Kagome."

They stared at each other. Not sure what to say next after everything that's been said already.

"Wanting Kagome wasn't what I meant by my answer to your question. I have told you almost from the beginning, since Urasue revived you, that I would avenge your death with Naraku's but you constantly get in my way. In doing things your way you've made it so much harder for me. Naraku has found ways to use the incomplete jewel to cause so much havoc for us. He is constantly creating offspring to attack us at every turn." Inuyasha pointed out. He thought of Kagome, she would be happy to hear him say such things considering how upset she herself was about the whole situation.

"I had my reasons." Kikyo said.

"Had your reasons, huh?" Inuyasha asked crossing his arms in front of himself. "Then maybe you can give me the reason why I should go to hell with you?"

"You promised." Kikyo answered. "We shared our first kiss and then we embraced one another. You said that you wanted to stay like that and I asked you if I made it possible would you keep to your word and you said yes."

"I do believe that I grunted a response before being knocked out by you somehow. If it weren't for Kagome being there you would have taken me to hell without my knowing hell was what you meant." Inuyasha said defending himself on the subject for the first time.

"So your speaking of keeping that promise was a lie?" Kikyo asked.

"No, it wasn't. At the time it was true but not anymore. I'm starting to wonder why I owe you so much. Are we not indebted to each other because we both fell for the betrayal Naraku set up for us?" He said.

Kikyo opened her mouth to say something else but Keade spoke first.

"I am sorry to disturb this conversation but…" Keade left her sentence hanging as she looked at her sister with a meaningful look.

Kikyo nodded. "I guess it is a good thing that you no longer wish to go to hell with me because you are released from your promise."

Inuyasha looked at Kikyo, then to Keade, and then back to Kikyo again. "What are you talking about now?"

"Is Kagome ready?" Kikyo asked Keade.

"She is." Keade answered.

"Ready for what? What the hell is going on?" Inuyasha demanded.

"We will be there in a few minutes." Kikyo said to Keade dismissing her.

"What are you going to do to Kagome?" Inuyasha questioned again.

"Kagome is going to be revived." Kikyo said.

"How?" Inuyasha asked suspiciously.

"With her soul."

Inuyasha had a blank expression as he thought over what Kikyo just told him. "You have her soul." He pointed out.

"I am giving it back."

"Why?"

"Is that not what you want?"

"I'm not going to answer that because you know it is but wouldn't that mean you die? You're willing to give up your life for Kagome? Wouldn't that interfere with your plans for sending Naraku to hell?" Inuyasha asked he had to know.

"Inuyasha you are right. Since I've been brought back I have done nothing but interfere in your quest to fix the Shikon no Tama and revenge yourself against Naraku. Kagome is needed more in that quest than I am. I have come to see that the way I have done certain things were indeed very selfish. I have wanted nothing more than to live my life the way that I wanted to. It's odd that death is the only way I have been able to achieve that. I have hurt a lot of people with my actions and this is the only way that I can make things right. As right as this will make things." Kikyo said looking down with surprise when Inuyasha reached out and took her hand.

"You mean it?" Inuyasha asked.

"Yes."

"You're no longer angry with me? You no longer think that I owe you my life because you lost yours?" Inuyasha asked further.

Kikyo just smiled and tugged at his hand. "It is time, Inuyasha. Follow me."

END FLASHBACK

"We didn't speak to each other when we joined the others." Inuyasha said after a moment of silence. He wanted Kagome to have a chance to absorb what he had told her.

"She gave up the soul willingly." Kagome said.

"That she did." Inuyasha said in response.

"You know you were right in thinking that I needed rest before hearing that story. I feel completely drained and all I did was listen. I think any further discussion will have to wait till later." Kagome said then covered her mouth as she yawned.

"The sun will be rising soon, it is not too surprising that you are tired. You should lay down." Inuyasha said standing.

"You're not leaving?" Kagome asked as she climbed under her covers.

"No. I'm going to sleep on the floor." Inuyasha said closing Kagome's curtains to keep the sun out.

"Lay with me till I fall asleep?" Kagome asked reaching out to grab his hand as he passed by.

"You don't think your mother will come in here and wonder why we are in the same bed?" Inuyasha asked.

"I don't care. I'll talk to her about it after I get up. Please?" Kagome asked sweetly.

With a sigh Inuyasha climbed over Kagome and made himself comfortable on top of Kagome's covers.

"See. She won't have anything to say with you on top of the covers like that." Kagome said moving over to rest her head on his chest. "Goodnight, Inuyasha."

"Goodnight, Kagome." Inuyasha said kissing the top of her head.