InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kikyo's lonely journey ❯ Delayed departure ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story are the actual work of Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own them in any way.

 

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Chapter 1: Delayed departure

 

Kikyo had firmly intended to leave as soon as the sun was up and had thus spent the remainder of the night gathering supply and packing them up in two bundles of size and weight adapted to both her and Susune. By the time she finished with her work, the sun was starting to peak over the horizon. Seeing this, she gathered the two bundles and brought them to the hut, only to find that the ten years old was gone. Fear gripped her stomach for a split second, until she heard the sound of shoveling coming from the village's square. Frowning in confusion, she headed to the source of the sound and, sure enough, Susune was there, digging a hole with the obvious intention of burying the bodies of her fellow villagers.

 

"Neither your body nor your mind is yet strong enough to accomplish what you want," she said to the working girl.

 

Susune jerked a little in surprise at the unexpected voice and turned to look at Kikyo for a second before continuing her work without bothering to reply. Narrowing her eyes, the miko tried again. "Did you at least eat breakfast? It's not the type of work to make on an empty stomach," she noted calmly, but the child still ignored her.

 

She was about to sigh in impatience when something behind Susune suddenly caught her eye. It was a neat row of about a dozen tombs, all marked with a flower. Kikyo's eyes widened in surprise and her gaze abruptly shifted to the working girl once again. Surely, she had not... But as she really looked at the working child, telltales of exhaustion became rather obvious. Her movements were extremely slow, her legs were shaking ever so slightly and every time she would bend to push dirt away, she would sway dangerously and recover her balance at the last second.

 

"She's just about ready to collapse!" she realized, concern flooding her being.

 

She immediately stalked to the girl and firmly wrenched the tool out of her hands. Susune made a move to retrieve it, but at this point, what was left of her strength finally gave way and she collapsed on the ground.

 

"Idiot!" snapped the miko as she knelt beside the ten years old. "What did you hope to accomplish by working yourself so hard?"

 

"... Have to... do it... last one... who can," murmured the child weakly.

 

Kikyo didn't bother answering to that. She merely sighed in annoyance before gathering the girl in her arms and heading back to the hut.

 

"I realize that you want to see your loved ones properly buried, but working yourself to death is definitively not going to help their soul rest," explained the miko.

 

Susune didn't answer, which prompted the undead miko to look down at her charge and notice that she was fast asleep. "How long did she work?" she asked herself half in wonderment, half in concern.

 

There had been about a dozen tombs so she had to have worked at least part of the night to get to that result. Kikyo frowned. The child had not eaten much yesterday and she was willing to bet that she had not taken any food yet today. No one could hope to last very long on such a diet. "I did not save your life so that you could throw it away," she reflected silently and with that, she picked up her pace.

 

It wasn't long before she was back to the hut and had Susune lying comfortably on a futon. As she was about to tuck her in however, her eyes fell on the girl's hands. They were rubbed raw to the point of drawing blood and had more splinters than she could count littered across her outstretched palms. Hissing in disapproval, the undead miko started rummaging through her bundle for the medical supply she had put there and emerged with a pack of herbs. Taking a small bowl and a mortar, she started crushing the plants until there was only an indistinct paste left.

 

She then turned her attention back to Susune. Taking a small gourd out of her pack, she dampened a tissue and started carefully cleaning the wounds. Every now and then, the girl would twitch in her sleep at the sting of the contact. Once she was done, she put some of her medical paste on the wounds and bandaged the hands.

 

It was a simple task really, the wounds were not serious, but it felt oddly satisfying to use her skills once again after such a long time. Come to think of it... how long had it been since she had last patched a wound? She stopped in the middle of pulling the blanket over Susune's sleeping form and frowned as she tried to remember when she had last used her talent. Searching through her memories, she recalled that she had settled in a small shrine shortly after her revival. But that had been years ago!

 

"Surely, it has not been that long since..." she thought as she dug deeper and deeper.

 

But she emerged completely blank. In years, she had not healed anyone. The skills that she had been so proud of, the skills that she had spent all her life honing, were slowly wasting away from simple lack of use. Unwittingly, her gaze shifted to the girl's hands and her frown deepened, turning into a scowl. The way the gauze was wrapped around the hand allowed for a few spots of flesh to shine through. She glared angrily at the imperfections, as if that alone would make them disappear, but of course they remained right where they were, taunting her, mocking her with their presence. Finally, unable to stand it any longer, she abruptly stood up and stalked out of the hut angrily.

 

She only got as far as outside the door before she stopped dead in her tracks. That was the second time in less than a day that her emotions had sparked like this and both times had been when Susune was involved. The child had the unique ability to be able to rouse things within her without even trying. Even now, she could feel something indistinct stir within her.

 

"If I don't find her a new home soon then..." she thought and trailed off.

 

And then what? What would happen if she spent too much time with Susune? She had no definite idea, but she didn't want to find out. She was certain that it would bring her pain beyond what she felt when she had walked away from Inuyasha. But to actually find a family willing to take the child in, they had to leave this place and she just knew that the girl would not budge until all of the dead were buried. Letting out a loud sigh of displeasure, the miko squared her shoulders and headed toward the center of the village, firmly intending to finish what the child had started.

 

Susune had not really fallen asleep when the undead miko had picked her up, she had just drifted away to a state where the mind is coated in jelly, still aware, but unable to do much more than that. So, she had noticed, if only dimly, that the miko's body felt as cold to the touch as the corpses she had buried earlier that day. A tiny spark of fear insinuated itself in her mind, rousing her ever so slowly from her blissful oblivion. Then, a stinging sensation coming from her hands brought her further back into the world of the living. By the time she had mustered enough strength to actually open her eyes, Kikyo was glaring at her hands, visibly angry about something. After a few seconds of this, the woman abruptly stood up and stalked out without saying a word. Susune stared at the place where the miko had disappeared for a few seconds before looking down at her hands. She noticed that there were fresh bandages adorning them now, but as far as she could tell, there was nothing there that justified such a glare. That was about as far as she went before the fog of sleep started blanketing her mind once more. As she slowly sank deeper and deeper into unconsciousness, two images kept dancing in her mind. One where Kikyo was crying her heart out and the other where she was glaring angrily at seemingly nothing. Something felt similar about those two pictures, something important, dancing beneath the surface... but Susune was just too far gone to puzzle it out.

 

******

 

The sun was very low in the sky when Kikyo finally finished burying the last of the dead villagers. Had she still been alive, she would have probably collapsed in exhaustion. Had her body still been made of flesh, her muscles would have refused to even move. But she was not alive and her body was made of clay and as such, she showed no signs that she had just buried about fifty people by herself without so much as a pause.

 

"Almost no signs," she reflected as she looked down at herself.

 

Her red and white uniform, already rather dirty from her previous journey through the woods, now sported the traces of a full day of digging holes and hauling corpses around. When her eyes fell on her hands, she was also reminded that she had not bathed in close to a week and as such must not look far better than her clothing.

 

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to clean myself up a little," she noted with a small grimace of disgust.

 

Looking at the sky, she judged that she had about an hour of daylight left. She would have to move quickly. A bath could be taken in the dark without too much problem, but a laundry could not be done blindly. And so, it was with quick steps that she headed out to search for the necessary supply.

 

******

 

For the second time that day, Susune cracked her eyes open. The sun sat very low in the sky, telling her that she had been asleep all day. She cursed herself for having slept for so long and bolted up in bed, with the intention of continuing her work, and instantly regretted it. She had pushed herself far beyond her limits and her body reminded it to her rather unpleasantly. Waves of pain coursed through her tired members at such a sudden movement and her vision started spinning violently, forcing her to put a hand down to stabilize herself. When her palm came in contact with the ground, it felt like thousands of needles pierced her skin, causing her to instantly retract her limb and crash down on her futon.

 

It took a few minutes, but eventually, her vision stabilized, allowing her to try once again to sit up in bed. With a lot of groaning, wincing and hissing, she managed to push herself upright and stay that way. She then looked at her hands, wondering why she had hurt herself by simply putting it down and saw that they were wrapped in bandages.

 

"That's right. Kikyo-sama..." she remembered.

 

Thus awakened, her brain seemed to pick up right where it left before she fell into unconsciousness. The two scenes about Kikyo and the feeling that something important was hidden right beneath the surface sprang right out of its box. She pushed it back for the moment as now was not really the time for this type of questioning, especially when the only person who could answer her inquiries was not even there in the first place. Come to think of it, where was Kikyo? She couldn't have possibly left her here all alone, could she?

 

Before she had time to be afraid though, a splashing sound caught her attention. Frowning in confusion, she listened as the noise changed to one of energetic scrubbing.

 

"Laundry?" she asked the empty air.

 

Someone was actually doing laundry just outside the door. The thought in itself was so... incongruous. Who on earth would do his or her laundry in the middle of a village that had just been slaughtered? That was rather puzzling. Unable to contain her curiosity, Susune struggled to her feet and stumbled toward the door. When she reached it, she immediately spotted a black-haired woman dressed in a light blue kimono scrubbing at red and white clothing contained in a wooden basin. As if sensing eyes on her, the woman turned and Susune's eyes widened in surprise.

 

"Kikyo-sama?" she asked incredulously.

 

A tiny spark of emotion lit the miko's eyes for a millisecond before they once again became two emotionless pools. "How do you feel?" she asked after a long silence.

 

"... Tired," answered Susune timidly.

 

"That's to be expected," snorted the miko before returning to her laundry. "There's some food in my pack, you should eat some of it," she said again without looking at the girl.

 

Susune looked at the miko in front of her, a little confused. Was this really the same woman who had rescued her yesterday? She seemed somewhat colder than she remembered. She and Kikyo being the only two people around for miles left little room for doubts though. But then, this wasn't the first time Susune had seen Kikyo wears such an expression. Last night too, the woman had sported such an emotionless mask, right after she had cried her heart out. It almost seemed like a part of her had died at that moment. Questions burned her tongue, she wanted desperately to know what had happened to the warm smile she remembered. But fear kept all of those at bay; instead, she resorted to asking about what had brought her here in the first place.

 

"Kikyo-sama... what are you cleaning?" she inquired timidly.

 

"My uniform," answered Kikyo flatly.

 

Susune paused, taken aback by the completely useless piece of information volunteered by the miko in front of her. Gathering up her courage, she managed to ask one more question.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because it's dirty," came the reply as flatly as the first, if not more so.

 

This conversation, if you could even call it that, was getting nowhere fast. It was plain to Susune that Kikyo did not want to talk to her right now. The question was... why? Had she done something to anger the miko somehow? The only thing she did do was try to bury her people, but that hardly warranted such a harsh treatment, even if she had collapsed in exhaustion in the process. But still, if she had done something wrong, she would face it like a grown woman.

 

"Kikyo-sama, if I did anything to anger you then I apologize. But could you at least tell me what it is?" she said, her voice as steady as she could make it.

 

Now this caused the undead miko to pause in her task and turn back to the child, eyebrows raised in surprise. They lifted even higher when they met the girl's determined features. The features of a person ready to accept the consequences of her actions. A thought unwittingly percolated through her mind before she could even stop it.

 

"She has spirit; she would make a good apprentice."

 

She firmly pushed that ridiculous notion aside and once again focused on the child in front of her. "You did nothing Susune. This is how I am normally," answered the miko before returning to her laundry.

 

Susune opened her mouth, ready to argue that this was not true, that she had seen her cry the night before, but the woman's behavior told her that this might not be the right time to bring that up. So instead, she wisely chose to let the subject drop. For a while, she tried to find something to say to keep the conversation alive, but after a few minutes of useless searching, she gave up and watched in silence as Kikyo finished washing her uniform.

 

After an unknown time, Kikyo broke the silence, startling the girl leaning on the doorframe in the process. "You should get some rest, Susune. Tomorrow is going to be a big day," she said without turning back.

 

"Big day?" asked the child in confusion.

 

"Yes. Tomorrow morning, we're leaving this place," answered the miko.

 

Leaving. One of the many things the girl had absolutely not wanted to think about. One of the many things that were simply too scary for her to even conceive. This village was her home, the place where she had been born, the place where she had grown up, the place she knew. She couldn't just abandon it, could she? She couldn't just leave everything she held dear behind and go! It was... immoral, inconceivable, preposterous!

 

"No," she whispered faintly, causing the miko to turn toward her.

 

"No," she repeated, her voice growing firmer, more assured making Kikyo raise an eyebrow in confusion.

 

"NO!" she finally screamed and bolted off.

 

She didn't pay much attention to where she was going and quite frankly, she didn't care. All she wanted to do was get away from Kikyo, get away from the heartless woman who wanted to drag her away from her home. Yet, as strong as her desire to flee was, when her steps took her straight to the village's square, she stopped dead in her tracks, petrified by what she saw there. Instead of the sickening spectacle of dead bodies she had expected, there were only graves. Rows after rows of them.

 

The mind works in funny ways sometimes, because the first thing that actually came to her upon seeing this was that she had finally figured out why Kikyo had been washing her uniform. Of course, it wasn't long before this rather ridiculous thought was replaced with a more important one. All the tombs were neatly aligned, all of them the exact same dimension as the one beside it, all of them looking exactly the same, all of them unmarked. She couldn't tell where her best friend Chidori was lying. She couldn't tell where her parents were lying. She couldn't tell where Sojiro, her annoying neighbor, was lying. Nor could she tell where the kind Mister and Miss Takanori were lying. She felt a lump form in her throat as she realized that she would never actually know who exactly was buried where, that she would never be able to put a face on each grave littering the ground.

 

This proved to be too much for her still fragile mind to take. The emotional block that had kept her from breaking up completely shattered, freeing all the pain and anguish that she had not been willing to face just yet. And so, with a long, plaintive wail, she collapsed on the ground and started to sob violently.

 

Susune was not the only soul weeping this evening. Behind her, Kikyo, who had witnessed the whole scene, was also doing her own version of crying. She was more silent and discreet and no tears streamed down her cheeks. Yet, when one looked at her eyes, the sadness swimming there could not be missed. The tightness of her mouth, her fists clenched so tight her arms trembled, the hissing of her breath, all of it gave clues of just how much a wreck the woman really was.

 

"I cannot... comfort you, Susune," she murmured, sounding almost like she was apologizing to the girl. "I cannot give you what you so desperately need. That is why I must be cold and distant. So that you will not suffer needlessly when our paths move away from each other. I hope that you may one day find it in your heart to forgive me for whatever pain I may cause you," she finished, looking sadly at the ground.

 

She waited for a long time for the child's tears to calm down and for a time, Kikyo thought that she might cry all night long. Eventually though, the sobs quieted and the girl calmed down. She did not stand up however; she remained crumpled on the ground, too exhausted to even move. That was when Kikyo made her move. She walked until she was right beside the girl and peered down at her. It took a few seconds, but Susune finally did end up noticing that she was not alone anymore.

 

"K... Kikyo-sama," stuttered the girl with a haggard expression on her face.

 

"Come tomorrow morning, I shall be leaving this place. Whether you decide to stay here and try to survive on your own or come with me and find another place to start over is entirely up to you," spoke the miko, her face once again an emotionless mask.

 

"But whatever your choice may be, remember that if you should fail to live up to the expectations of the ones buried here, their souls will never rest in peace," she finished and walked away.

 

******

 

Sitting at the very same place where she had broken down a night before, Kikyo waited patiently for the sun to come up. She had slept earlier, a little less than an hour of troubled slumber. She kept having dreams about her and Inuyasha, which was normal for her, she had them every night and they hardly affected her anymore. The ones which truly did unsettle her were the ones about Susune. Those were always roughly the same, she would be teaching the girl something and would watch proudly as the child avidly sucked in the knowledge presented to her. How the girl managed to sneak up into her thoughts like that was beyond Kikyo's understanding. But try as she might to deny it, the fact remained: she cared about the kid, even if that sort of feeling could lead to nothing but anguish and suffering. Her musing was brought short when soft footsteps resounded on the wooden floor of the hut.

 

Shifting her gaze to the door, she noticed that it was Susune who had just come in. The girl was carrying her neatly folded uniform in her arms and sported a strange expression on her face. It was the type of expression a person would wear if they were about to do something and did not intend to let anyone sway them. Stranger still was when the kid deposited the clothing carefully on the floor and proceeded to sit down on her knees, as if she was facing a lord. She stayed that way for a moment, appearing to contemplate once more what she was about to do. Finally, taking a deep breath, she spoke.

 

"Kikyo-sama, I ask you very humbly... to take me in as your apprentice," said the child while bowing until her face almost touched the floor.

 

And at that moment, the world itself stopped spinning.