InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kikyo's lonely journey ❯ The beginning ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: Most of the characters in this story are the actual work of Rumiko Takahashi. I do not own them in any way.

 

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Chapter 2: The beginning

 

Susune watched Kikyo's retreating form with growing astonishment. That was it? No understanding smile? No comforting embrace? No soothing words? Surely the woman would come back to her and tell her it was all a joke. But as the miko turned a corner and vanished from sight, the painful reality sank in. Kikyo did not care at all about what happened to her. How else could the woman speak such harsh words to her? How else could the woman remain unfazed by her pain? That was too much for her to take and she collapsed right back on the ground. She should have felt betrayed by Kikyo's actions. She should have felt pain at the death of her people. She should have felt confused as to what she was to do now. But all she felt right now was an icy numbness that prevented anything but exhaustion from making itself known to her. And so, just like that, in the middle of her people's graves, Susune fell asleep, as much to flee from reality as because she was tired.

 

******

 

All around her, flowers were in full bloom. Their delicate petals fluttered it the light summer breeze and the birds playfully flew in a cloudless sky. Behind her, her parents walked hand in hand with a smile on their face as she happily ran after a few butterflies. In short, it was a picture of paradise that nothing could possibly shatter.

 

"Susune, don't get too far ahead," her mother called.

 

Turning back, she realized that indeed, the distance separating her from her beloved parents was growing a little too great for comfort. Immediately, she rushed back, right into her mother's waiting arms.

 

"Sorry mom, I got carried away," she apologized, looking up at the woman she knew so well.

 

"It's all right dear, you came back, it's all that matters," answered the woman gently.

 

"After all, I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to my precious daughter now would I?" continued the older woman, while tightening her hold until it became almost painful.

 

As she said those words, Susune's mother's tone grew increasingly colder and with it, the beautiful landscape began to take a turn for the worst. The flowers died, the trees withered, the birds fell from the sky, everything was dying in front of her very eyes. Not understanding what was going on, she looked up to her parents for answers and instantly regretted her gesture. The two adults' skin had turned ghostly pale. She could see numerous gaping wounds littering their bodies and their eyes had a strange predatory gleam dancing in their dead pupils. With a jerk, she managed to break free from her mother's hold and she started to back away slowly.

 

"What's wrong Susune? Don't you want to be with us any longer? Don't you love us anymore?" asked her father as he reached toward her.

 

"No! Go away! You're not my parents!" she screamed while scampering out of reach.

 

"But we are Susune, don't you recognize us?" questioned her mother.

 

Susune merely shook her head vehemently while continuing her retreat. It did not last for long however because two steps later, her back came in contact with a hard surface that prevented her from backing away any further. Shifting her head slightly to see what it was, she found out with horror that it was the exact same wall that she had been backed into when the wolf youkai had cornered her.

 

Eyes wide with fright, she watched helplessly as her parents got closer and closer.

 

"Don't worry, Susune, one touch and it will all be over. We'll be able to be together for eternity," her father said gently while reaching out to her.

 

"No, please, I don't want to become like you," she whimpered as she cowered before her father's ever approaching hand.

 

"It's okay Susune, it won't hurt a bit," reassured her mother in a soothing tone. Of course, this did anything but reassure the frightened child.

 

As the hand got within five inches of her face, the girl closed her eyes and scrunched as much as she could on herself (which was not very much) and waited for the inevitable. Strangely, it never came. Instead, there was a light whistling sound followed almost immediately by a grunt and a rather loud thud. A few seconds later, the same thing happened, followed by complete silence. Gathering her courage, she cracked one eye open and stared at the spectacle before her. The two zombies impersonating her parents were lying motionless on the ground, an arrow protruding from each of their chest.

 

For a second, she watched the two now lifeless forms lying on the ground, not comprehending what on earth had just happened. And then something clicked and she raised her gaze just in time to see Kikyo sling her bow back on her shoulder and turn away.

 

"Kikyo-sama?" she asked, but the miko did not react.

 

"Wait Kikyo-sama, don't leave me here all alone!" she called and this time, the woman did stop.

 

"Your place is not with someone like me Susune. I cannot take you with me," she answered with tears running down her face and a sad smile on her face.

 

"But why?" she asked.

 

The miko did not answer; she merely shook her head sadly before turning away and disappearing into the woods.

 

"No, wait! Kikyo-sama don't go! Please don't GOOOO!!!!!!!" she called with growing despair... and she bolted upright from the ground.

 

Frantically, she looked left and right, searching for the monsters of her dream and, when she found none, a violent shudder of relief spread through her being. It hadn't really been her parents. Her parents had not really tried to turn her into a zombie. Her parents loved her and would want her to be happy, that much, she knew for certain. Her panic receding, her mind went over the other part of her dream, the one where Kikyo had actually saved her. It ironically felt very much like what had happened in reality, except for the targets that is. But the main difference was that the woman in her dream had smiled, which was something the real Kikyo was incapable of doing, she was far too cold and distant...

 

"That's a nice name," smiled the undead miko. "I am Kikyo," she offered back.

 

Susune jerked as the memory replayed itself in her mind. The miko had smiled... and quite warmly at that. But she was still incapable of shedding tears...

 

"I cannot take her with me," she whispered. "Her place is not with someone like me," she finished fighting desperately to regain control of her emotions.

 

Again, the child stiffened. The woman could shed tears, she had done so a mere night before. And she had also treated her hands and buried most of the villagers all by herself. Now that she actually thought about it, the miko had shown remarkable concern for her well-being, even though she hardly knew her. But if she was so concerned about her... why did she not try to comfort her earlier, why had she locked herself up in her own world like this?

 

In an effort to find an answer to this rather troublesome question, Susune's mind started building up scenarios all crazier than the last to explain the miko's behavior. But of course, none of them really fit in the picture. She just did not know enough about Kikyo to figure out this mystery. In fact, all she did know was that the woman seemed to be a traveling miko of some sort.

 

Frowning in concentration, she went over everything from the beginning once again. The woman had said that she could not take her along, which meant that she had actually considered the possibility. But obviously, something had come up to make her give up on the idea... and that's what made her cry.

 

"But... if she cried because of this then that means that... she's doesn't want us to part!" she realized, astonished by her discovery.

 

And if she didn't want them to part, then that must mean that deep down, Kikyo was fond of her. She didn't really know why but relief flooded her being as she reached this conclusion.

 

"I knew she was good; I knew it!" she thought triumphantly, but the feeling was short lived.

 

When she had broken down earlier, the woman had not tried to comfort her. She had not held her... she had merely watched on the side as she cried her heart out. This didn't fit in the picture she had put together at all. Something was still amiss.

 

"Miko-sama... your hand is cold," whispered the girl timidly.

 

Her eyes widened in horror as the last piece of the puzzle suddenly snapped into place. She had never really wondered why Kikyo's body had been so cold to the touch. But now, as she started to analyze the miko's actions, a terrible truth appeared before her eyes: the woman was sick. That was why she had decided not to keep her along. That was why she was now so cold and distant. That was why she had not comforted her. And, last but not least, that was why she was so utterly alone. Because she did not want anybody to catch whatever it was she had caught.

 

"Oh gods no! Not her too! Haven't I lost enough loved ones? Haven't I suffered enough?" she whispered, fresh tears falling down her cheeks.

 

Angrily, she wiped them away. The time to cry was over, now was the time to act. There weren't that many ways to figure out how to cure an illness. She had to learn how... and the only person available was the very same person who was sick, narrowing her time frame considerably. True, the chances of her finding the cure on time were close to zero, but she'd be damned if she let another person she cared about a die. And so, with that thought in mind, she stood up and headed for the hut where she knew Kikyo was waiting.

 

******

 

Kikyo was used to control her expression, to wear a mask shielding her emotions from the outside world, but what the girl had just asked proved to be too much for her to take and her features dropped, showing her astonishment for the whole world to see. Her mind was a total blank as reality and fantasy collided with each other.

 

"Say what!?" she finally managed to utter once her brain had processed the information.

 

"I would like to become your apprentice Kikyo-sama," repeated Susune while daring a look at the older woman.

 

With a supreme effort of will, she managed to shake off her surprise and close up her features once again. The emotions were still there however, running wild and free right under the surface and it took every ounce of self-control Kikyo had to keep her voice steady as she spoke.

 

"Don't be ridiculous Susune, you're still too young for this sort of thing," shot back the miko but even as she said this, her very mind countered her argument.

 

"Wrong, she's just the right age and you know it!"

 

"If I'm too young now Kikyo-sama then I'll stay with you until I'm old enough," argued Susune firmly.

 

The woman hissed in annoyance. Of all the children in the world she could have saved, why did she have to save one that was so stubborn?

 

"Look, Susune, even if you had what it takes to become a miko, which you don't, I wouldn't train you," she answered in hope of finally deterring the determined child.

 

"But why?" questioned the child.

 

"Because I have no interest in teaching an apprentice," she answered flatly.

 

"But..." began Susune.

 

"Enough! This discussion is over!" cut in Kikyo sharply before the girl could come up with another argument.

 

Susune opened her mouth as if to object, but then, she closed it and swallowed back what she had been about to say. She was conceding victory to the older woman for now, but her expression told Kikyo that she had not heard the end of this by far. The woman abruptly stood up, effectively hiding her annoyance with her movement and headed for her pack. She took out a few things and promptly started making breakfast for the little girl. It was not something complicated, but it would sustain Susune for a good part of the day, which was the main objective.

 

"Here," she said simply while handing out the plate to the girl who had not moved an inch since the end of their conversation.

 

"Aren't you going to eat Kikyo-sama?" questioned Susune innocently.

 

"I ate earlier," lied the miko before grabbing her folded uniform and heading out to change, thus preventing any further questioning by the inquisitive child.

 

Only when she was well away from the hut and perfectly certain that she was alone did she allow herself to breathe a sigh of relief. Leaning against a nearby wall, she took a few deep breaths to try and quell the raging torrent of emotions coursing through her. By the time she did get everything back under control, the sun had started pointing over the horizon. Realizing that she had gone longer than expected, she hastily removed the kimono she had found and donned her uniform. Taking one last deep breath, she mentally steeled herself and put back her emotionless mask. She had a feeling that traveling with Susune might take more out of her than she had expected.

 

When she did get back to the child, she just knew that her suspicions were well founded. Everything had been neatly put back into her pack and the girl herself was sitting expectantly near her own luggage, ready for departure. She frowned a little at this but refrained from voicing any objections. Without a word, she strapped her quiver of arrows over her shoulder, put her makeshift bag on her back and grabbed her bow.

 

"Are you ready to go?" she asked even though she knew perfectly well what the answer would be.

 

"Yes Kikyo-sama," answered Susune simply. "But... to where?" she inquired after a small pause.

 

"Roads connect places together. If we take the one I used to come here in the opposite direction, we're meant to end up somewhere," explained the miko before heading away.

 

Susune watched the retreating miko for a few seconds, contemplating what she had just said. The woman had used the road to come here, but she didn't know what lay at the other end? That was strange. Finally, she shrugged and followed suit. Yet another mystery to add to the pile, nothing to be too concerned about. What really mattered now was trying to convince the miko to take her in as her apprentice before they reached the next village two days away (a fact she was the only one to know so far). That might prove to be a little difficult to achieve, but she was not the type to back away when the going got tough.

 

"I'll save you Kikyo-sama... even if it's the last thing I do," she promised herself silently.

 

As they reached the outside of the hut, Kikyo suddenly stopped and turned toward her with an unreadable expression on her face.

 

"Is there anything that you wish to do before leaving this place?" she asked out of the blue.

 

"I..." she stammered, taken aback by the question.

 

"It is very likely that you will never come back here. So if you want to say goodbye to your people, now is the time," explained the miko.

 

Shock appeared on Susune's features as she realized that through all of her reflections about Kikyo... she had completely forgotten about offering a last prayer to her fellow villagers.

 

"Yes Kikyo-sama... there's one last thing that I must do," she finally answered, her features quickly sombering.

 

"Then I shall wait here until you are done," nodded the woman before carefully lowering herself on the ground, mindful not to damage what she was carrying.

 

"Thank you," she whispered and promptly took off toward the village's square.

 

When she reached it, she felt a strange mix of pain, regret and shame wash over her. Pain at the loss she had sustained, regret at not having been able to do more and shame at having almost forgotten her last farewell. Shaking herself off, she discarded her luggage and kneeled in a prayer position.

 

"Everyone... this is it," she began. "It's time for me to leave this place. I wish I could have stayed, but... I know such a thing would be impossible. Wherever you are, I hope that you are all happy. I'm sorry that I could not bury you all myself, but I think it was for the best... I probably would not have been able to accomplish this by myself anyway."

 

She marked a long pause in her prayer, not really knowing what else to say yet feeling that something else should be added. Finally, inspiration came back to her and she continued.

 

"I don't know if it's within your power, but please give me the strength to help Kikyo-sama. I can feel just how sad and lonely she is... help me ease her pain a little. And help me find the cure to her disease before it's too late... she deserves to live, if only because she saved my life," she concluded.

 

With that said, she stood up and scooped up her pack on her shoulder. Looking one last time over the rows of tombs, she felt one lone tear stream down her cheek. She did not wipe it away though, she simply let it run all the way to her chin and once there, it hovered for a second before finally giving in to gravity and fall to the ground.

 

"Goodbye. Mom, Dad... Everyone. May your souls all rest in peace," she said softly before turning around and firmly walking away.

 

When she reached Kikyo, the woman did not waste time in useless chatter. She merely raised an inquiring eyebrow to which Susune answered with a nod and she got to her feet, thus marking the beginning of their journey.

 

Neither of the two was aware of this, but what fate had in store for them went far beyond what they could have imagined. This single step indeed marked the beginning of a journey, but not the one they expected, not by a long shot.