InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ LOVE POISON ❯ Bitterness: Wake Up And Smell The Clay ( Chapter 2 )

 

 

DISCLAIMER: Don't sue, still don't own. Still own the inu brothers in sick twisted kinky perverted dreams. Rumiko Takahashi owns them otherwise. Feedback pretty please...you'll probably hate me for chapter 3, so I need as much nice reviews I can get until I start getting my ass flamed...

 

 

CHAPTER TWO: BITTERNESS: WAKE UP AND SMELL THE CLAY

 

 

Inuyasha's golden eyes flew open, he was panting heavily, and it took him a while to realize he had just had another one of those bloody realistic dreams.

 

"Damn it..." He muttered, the sticky wetness of his cum staining the front of his red pants. "Damn you, Kagome..."

 

He shut his eyes tightly, trying to breathe normally again, and opened them to discover, thankfully, that he hadn't awakened any of his companions, for he was certain he had been making noises, the dream had felt so real...

 

His misty eyes then rested on Kagome's sleeping form.

 

She was sound asleep, her chest rising and falling slowly with her even breathing. Inuyasha was overwhelmed by how angelical she looked, and at the same time how incredibly sensual, her full lips parted slightly, invitingly.

 

Kagome smiled sweetly in her sleep. "Mmm...Y'sha..." she whispered, and gave out an adorable little sigh.

 

For a moment, Inuyasha panicked, but when he called her name in a shaky voice he was immediately ashamed of, and she didn't respond, he was relieved to find out he hadn't waken her up after all.

And that no one had heard him call her name in that wimpy, needy tone...

 

Inuyasha risked it and leaned down to softly kiss her eyelids.

 

"Dream of me...Kagome..." He whispered, and brushed her black silky hair from her face, behind her ears. His golden eyes widened when he realized his hand was shaking.

 

He shut his eyes briefly and with another heavy, painful sigh, Inuyasha got up and headed for the nearest river to wash the drying stain on the front of his pants, and clean himself up.

 

_______________________________________

 

 

Inuyasha found a stream a few paces from their camp. The water was icy cold, for what he was grateful, it would help cool him down.

 

He undressed quickly, wanting to get this over with, and holding his red hakama, he got in the water up to his waist, shivering from the cold.

 

He washed his pants thoroughly, and when he was certain the stain was gone, he tossed them aside. They landed on a rock with a wet thud, and the inu-hanyou gave out a deep sigh that might have been a low, barely perceptible growl of frustration and pain to human ears.

 

The tips of his long, silvery white hair brushed the water and he remained still, panting. He could still smell Kagome's enticing scent and although the cold water helped and he was no longer hard, he felt a tingling sensation running through his entire body, as if his blood was boiling and no matter how cold the water was, it wouldn't be able to soothe the heat running through his veins.

 

'What you do to me, bitch...' he thought, closing his eyes. "My bitch." He whispered to himself and allowed a small smile to touch his lips.

 

His heartbeats were defeaning in his own ears, the dream desperately and stubbornly refusing to abandon him. Inuyasha growled low in his throat.

 

He waited, waited for the vision of Kagome, naked and sweaty and oh so beautiful, her scent mingled with his, to vanish or at least fade a little, like dreams usually did.

 

Once his heart settled down and was not defeaning him anymore, and the screaming of his blood subsided to a whisper that the hanyou was accustomed to and knew would never go away, he sighed in defeat.

 

'This has got to stop. I can't go on like this, I'll go fucking nuts...'

 

Knowing that he wasn't going to get over his dream any time soon, he decided to get out of the stupid stream and go back to camp.

 

Inuyasha was freezing and his blood was softly singing to him, he just had to be next to Kagome again or he would burst into flames.

 

Awake, of course. Wide awake.

Ocasionally he would rest his eyes, but he needed to have her nearby, to smell her scent and feel her presence, or he knew he would lose his mind.

 

Inuyasha could smell her from here but it wasn't enough, he wanted to breathe her in, and he lifted his head slightly and snifled the air, Kagome's scent caressing his senses, as he slowly opened his golden eyes.

 

That was when he saw them.

 

Above him, the ghostly white, soul snatching serpents flew in lazy circles; Inuyasha's eyes narrowed to slits, the familiar scent of clay and death that belonged to Kikyou filling his nostrils and making him nauseous and anxious at the same time.

 

He wasn't afraid. He wasn't glad. He wasn't angry.

 

He was...nothing. Kikyou had the ability to make him feel he was nothing.

 

The guilt resurfaced...he saw Kikyou's pale face in his mind's eye, tried with all his might to see her and remember her like the generous, innocent miko she had been before death had claimed her, before she stank of decay...tried to smell her the way she had smelled then, like fresh flowers, and not dirt.

His lost Kikyou, he tried to remember her when the miko's words, although very few, but always softly spoken, had never been harsh...

 

So many years ago...the living, gentle woman who would never have lifted a dagger against his throat and glare at him the way she had glared at him, like he was nothing but...

 

'Oh why not, let's just say it, say it over and over until we drown in self hatred...nothing but a worthless, filthy hanyou, of course...'

 

Although Kikyou had never actually said it, alive or dead, he could clearly hear her voice in his head and had no choice but to agree with her, after all, her voice had always been so reasonable, so calm...

'How dare you, how dare you even think for a second that someone like me could ever love you? A half breed? Oh no, Inuyasha...if you want me, if you love me, you will become human for me, you will free me...true, I want you, want you as a hanyou...I want you to want me...but I could never love a hanyou...so become human...for me...'

 

Half-breed, definetely.

 

Freak? Why, that too.

His youkai half brother thought so, humans thought so, demons snifled at him in disgust and wanted to kill him, trying to do the world a favor by getting rid of the insult to nature hanyou represented in everyone's eyes by ending his miserable existance.

 

Unworthy of a pure priestess like Kikyou, that too, of course.

 

Inuyasha agreed with the miko, alive and dead alike, that spoke to him in his head, then and now.

 

Human for her? Sure.

If that would make her love him, if the pain would just fucking go away then, why the hell not?

 

'Because I hate it. Because I am a hanyou. If I had to learn to live with myself the way I am...why couldn't she learn to do that, too? Why couldn't she love me - as I am?'

 

Suddenly Inuyasha didn't want to be there, but he didn't want to go back to camp either.

What he really, really wanted was to be back in his dream, where nothing mattered and he was allowed to love Kagome without regrets...he didn't want to see Kikyou, didn't want to see the

hatred for him reflected in her dead eyes, or hear the coldness in her voice.

 

Afraid to look, but incapable of looking away, Inuyasha stared right at her, standing in front of him, her almond shaped brown eyes impossible to read.

 

"Kikyou..." He whispered, and suddenly realized he was stark naked and blushed.

 

To his utter amazement, Kikyou smirked.

 

When she was alive, he had never seen Kikyou smirk. This was a custom she had acquired recently, and he wasn't sure he liked it. Scratch that, he was positive he disliked it. Not her, never her of course, just that...look.

 

The one she was giving him now, one Inuyasha ignored Naraku would have recognised instantly from when Kikyou had called him a hanyou.

 

Had Inuyasha known Kikyou had given Naraku the look that she was giving him now, he would have hated her for it. For a while.

 

It wasn't a nice look. It had no hate but no love in it either. It was, actually, quite mocking, a look one would give a cocroach they have been chasing for a while and finally were able step on.

Hard.

 

But as for now, Inuyasha was too much aware of him being naked and her smirking at him. And vaguely aware that he didn't like it.

He felt like a cornered animal, more specifically, a cocroach.

 

Squash.

 

Kikyou finally spoke: "Why, Inuyasha...when I was alive, I never sensed you so...agitated. Taking a bath, so late at night?"

 

 

TBC

 

 

AN: The next chapter will be SO hard to post, because it was so damn hard to write...please don't hate me for it, it's necessary and I promise, it is not what you're thinking! Almost, but not quite and Inuyasha won't be a happy puppy with it...I however will be very happy if you R&R...I posted this rather quickly and unrevised because I got these great reviews on AFFN (thanks so much I wasn't actually expecting good reviews ::blush::) Want more! Coming next...the scene I so hated to write but that does have its damn purpose...Please review!