InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ LOVE POISON ❯ Trust: I Need You ( Chapter 4 )

 

 

DISCLAIMER: Don't own, don't sue. Takahashi-sama gets money off these wonderful characters. I just use them for my own hentai purposes...wait, that sounded good...

 

Ok people, this is the deal. Sometimes stories just come out the way they do. I didn't want to do that scene but it will have its purpose, and NOTHING like that will ever happen again. Inu & Kags will get their happy ending, period. I can't promise immediate lemony goodness, but I do promise lime, because there's a lot they have to work out and plenty of angst on the way. But the real lemon scene, their first time, is written and will be posted when the time is right, I don't want them to jump into bed after what has happened, and what Inu & co. will have to deal with (remember that guy named Naraku? Yup, that's the one, he'll show up soon and stir things up a bit...) but there will be mushy sweet lime. On the next chap, if I have my way with rewriting it. Believe me, their first time will be one hell of a long chap! Such sexual frustration just deserved my entire attention. And of course it won't be just *one* lemon lol ;)

 

R&R! Please please review! I'm actually begging you people... review! I want you to be happy with this, I need to know what you'd like to read (other than lemons, you hentais you) I need some inspiration! Just review...please?

 

 

CHAPTER 4: TRUST: I NEED YOU

 

 

Sleep didn't come, of course.

 

Inuyasha leaned his back against the tree, Tetsusaiga held close to his chest, as he watched Kagome. She was smiling softly in her sleep, roses on her cheeks, breathing evenly.

 

Inuyasha felt so ashamed and dirty about what had happened earlier he couldn't believe he had the guts to look at Kagome.

 

Could he face her in the morning? Could he look into those beautiful eyes of hers without her just knowing? She could always read him so easily...somehow, she always knew when he had seen Kikyou. Probably had to do with the fact that he couldn't bring himself to face her...

 

Inuyasha had to now.

He had something to prove to himself, and to Kagome as well. He owed it to her.

 

It was about time he cast his pride and fears aside and let her know...the only way he knew how... that she was his choice, his only choice.

 

Why had it taken this ugly...incident...to happen to make up his mind, he didn't know. But he had chosen Kagome a long time before this.

Now he had to actually tell her that, if he didn't do it now, the pain of his betrayal and the disgust he felt for himself and for his own body that had betrayed him as well would eat him alive.

 

Easier said than done...but he'd loved Kagome for so long now...if everything he loved did indeed die like he'd always thought...wouldn't she be dead and gone by now?

 

But the way he acted around her...stubbornly refusing to return her love when he so clearly loved her back, calling her names she most certainly didn't deserve to be called (except maybe for 'bitch', Inuyasha thought smiling slightly, she was after all, his bitch...) Kagome would never believe him, or worse, would turn him down.

Not because he was a hanyou...but because he was...well, rude and mean and violent...and a two-timing, unfaithful dirty dog with no fucking self control, he thought inwardly, grimacing.

 

Fuck, he didn't deserve such an innocent, precious being as Kagome. But she was his bitch! She belonged to him!

 

His scent was all over her, for all the youkai world to sense.

 

So okay, she wasn't marked...but even lesser youkai could smell Inuyasha's strong scent on her. Not inside her...but all over her, his youki surrounding her faintly like a second aura. Humans couldn't smell it or sense it, of course, and yet most of the humans they crossed paths with immediately assumed Kagome was with him.

Inuyasha felt a secret pride in this he would never have revealed to anyone.

 

His bitch. His woman. His 'intended', or like Kagome would say in her world...his 'girlfriend'. And if he was ever brave enough and she would let him...his mate.

 

Even that baka fleabag Kouga had to know she was his, not even he was so dense as to ignore the hanyou's scent on Kagome. Kouga simply chose to conviniently do so, which was a different thing altogether.

 

The fact that Kagome traveled with Inuyasha and therefore was always nearby had nothing to do with it.

Sango certainly didn't have Inuyasha's scent all over her.

 

But Kagome rode on his back, and he held her in his arms as much as he allowed himself to. Kagome snuggled up to him in the late hours, sometimes they watched the sunset together and she would hold his hand or wrap her tiny arms about his waist...hell, she had even kissed him once. She tended to his wounds with skillfull, oh so tender, loving hands...

She even stroked his ears sometimes, even though he pushed her hands back and growled at her and told her he hated it...nothing could be further from the truth.

 

Very sensitive, his ears were; as a child, when his mother stroked them, he'd always giggled uncontrollably, and that was it. When he was a pup and he was tucked into bed, his mother would stroke them lovingly and he would sigh happily, his only thought before sleep claimed him being that he was safe.

 

But now in his 'young adult-ready-to-mate' hanyou years, his ears had somehow become a direct connection to his...most private parts.

Inuyasha blushed and his ears twitched unconsciously.

 

He loved Kagome. And she loved him back. Inuyasha knew she did, damn it! There wasn't a single spark of doubt in his mind about that.

He hated the fact that there was more than doubt in Kagome's mind about his feelings for her, but then again, it was his own damn fault, and he had wanted it that way, hadn't he? A tiny part of him still wanted it that way, didn't want his precious Kagome tainted by his love.

 

Kagome trusted him. And he would rather die than lose her trust.

 

He still couldn't understand what in the seven hells had happened back there, what in the world had possessed him to step out of the stream in his birthday suit and allow Kikyou to do that to him...and the fact that he had believed at one point with all his body and soul that it wasn't the dead miko, but Kagome, performing this act did not make him any feel better.

 

Inuyasha hadn't only thought it had been Kagome's mouth he was making love to, he had also believed he had been dreaming of Kagome...yet again. And that of course had not come as a surprise to him...

 

The whole thing had been so...surreal...the only logical explanation his clouded brain had come up with was that it just had to be another dream...he hadn't been trying to fool himself, because his dreams had always felt so real...he'd simply let himself loose in yet another dream of himself and Kagome, and when reality struck, it struck hard.

 

He'd fucked it all up. He had to fix this. Except he had no clue how...

 

It would be oh so easy and convenient to just pretend it had, indeed, been just a dream. But he knew it wasn't so, had known it the second he had seen the look of disgust on Kikyou's face, a look that had probably matched his own.

Inuyasha had been disgusted with himself, but she had been clearly sickened by him.

And the thought of Kikyou being disgusted by him did not hurt Inuyasha as much as it should have, on the contrary, recalling the previous events and how they had ended, her reaction matching his own was somewhat of a relief to him.

 

After all, deep inside Inuyasha had always known Kikyou had secretly felt disgust, and a not so secret pity for him as a hanyou. Perhaps she had not actually felt repulsed by him when she'd been alive, but she'd certainly chosen his human side...of course, he couldn't picture the miko actually wanting to do what she had done to him fifty years ago...she would never have been so bold then. She'd been so young, so innocent, untainted, a priestess, she wasn't allowed to feel these things, or she would fail on her task.

 

She was a woman with needs of course, needs he'd never understood when she was alive, but a miko first. And mikos and half demons did not mix.

It was wrong in everyone's eyes, but it hadn't been wrong in Inuyasha's eyes, and it had hurt him to no end that he had known Kikyou felt it was wrong as well, fifty years ago...that she had felt so guilty for wanting him as a hanyou, for baring her heart to him, to no other than a half demon, and one who had been pursuing the miko in hopes of stealing the Shikon jewel from her. But that had been before Kikyou had opened up to him and shown Inuyasha he could be worth something... he could be loved again...if only he accepted her terms.

Inuyasha had seen himself in her. But he had also perceived how Kikyou saw him.

 

She'd wanted him to become human, not to free him, but to free herself, he realised now. She had said so herself, hadn't she?

 

As a human man, you would have been ready for me...

 

Used. He had been used.

But then again, fifty years ago, Inuyasha wouldn't even have known such things were done. Sure, he had watched wild animals rut when he was younger, he knew about mating, but...

 

Damn it, he had begged her to stop! His heart and mind and soul had protested simultanously at this outrage, but his weak body, already feverish from his dream of Kagome, hadn't heard his pleas, his refusal, the utter shock that the dead miko was doing something like that to him, something he'd never even known was common practice among humans...and then he had seen his Kagome, and he had lost it, lost himself, given in not to Kikyou's administrations, but to Kagome's.

 

Except it hadn't been Kagome. He'd realised that when it had been too late, too late.

 

Gods, what had he done? Sick, he felt so sick...he desperately needed to throw up...but he refused to move; Kagome was there, she was so close, he could just close his eyes and feel her, forget himself in her aura, be absorbed by her soothing presence and her fragance...

 

Inuyasha's thoughts were broken when he heard Kagome sigh softly in her sleep and shift positions, and his golden eyes flew open, caressing her body with a loving, longing gaze.

 

Was she even remotely aware of how gorgeous she truly was?

 

Inuyasha sighed. She probably would think he was comparing her to Kikyou, if he ever told her how alluring, how desirable and beautiful he thought she was. Not that he ever would...

 

She looked so peaceful, so serene in her sleep, so...safe.

Complete trust.

Even as she slumbered, she knew Inuyasha was there, watching over her, over them...this disfunctional family the companions had become sometime along the last two years; the impulsive hanyou, the generous miko from the future, the courageous demon slayer, the perverted monk, the orphan kitsune, the loyal neko youkai.

Inuyasha's family. Irritating as they were sometimes...they had unknowingly become his pack, although he would never admit it out loud.

 

Inuyasha's thoughts went back to Kagome.

If he said something, anything, along the lines of him thinking of her as the most beautiful, caring creature on the face of earth, he knew Kagome would feel more hurt than if he called her ugly and stupid. Because of Kikyou, of course. And if Kagome didn't see she was nothing, nothing like Kikyou at all in his eyes...well, Inuyasha had only his stupid self to blame.

 

He growled low in his throat, furious with himself, but visibly relaxed when Kagome shifted her position again and showed her profile to him, that sweet little smile playing on her full lips, lips that parted and whispered his name.

 

Inuyasha didn't move. He forgot to breathe. He just watched her; his intense, golden gaze fixed on Kagome's parted, inviting lips, his ears twitching at the sound of his name, spoken in a barely audible whisper. Also, he mentally beat himself up for good measure.

 

How could he erase the events that had ocurred earlier? How could he face Kagome now? How could he face Kikyou, for that matter? How on earth could he hide this from Kagome, but how, how could he tell her without completely losing their most sacred bond, their trust?

 

He was trapped. He was miserable. And without Kagome's trust, he would simply lose it all. His life, his love, his home, his hopes and dreams. Kagome was simply...his everything.

 

Kagome was forgiving, but even an understanding, sweet girl like her must have her limits. This, Inuyasha thought, would be one of them. And he had crossed too many limits already for his own liking. Clinging to the memory of the dead priestess, stupidly believing he could redeem himself in Kagome's eyes by keeping his promise to Kikyou. What did he have to redeem himself of, when Kagome had never, ever, placed any blame on him for what had happened to Kikyou? Had he done anything wrong for Kagome to think him cursed, other than calling her names and being rude to her and...and...running off to see Kikyou, only to return to face her heartbreak and to try to ignore the pain in his own heart as well?

 

The feeling that it was oh so wrong, to chase blindly after a shadow from the past; and that being with Kagome was right, that she was his present.

That painful, unshakable feeling that he was somehow betraying her just by running after Kikyou. If it had been a feeling before, it was a harsh, bitter, undeniable reality now...

 

It was early morning. Inuyasha heard Kagome's breathing change, and knew she was awake.

 

"Kagome?" He whispered.

 

The seventeen-year-old miko slowly moved to a sitting position and yawned, opening her chocolate brown eyes and looking at him, instantly flashing him a sleepy, sweet little smile.

 

"Morning, Inuyasha." Kagome said softly, careful not to wake their companions. She crawled out of her sleeping bag and made her way to where Inuyasha sat.

 

Inuyasha looked up at her, summoning his courage, he would not, would NOT look away, or Kagome would know...

 

Kagome sat next to him and gently brushed his silver bangs out of his eyes. Then she looked down and noticed something odd.

"Inuyasha...why are your pants wet?" She asked, frowning. He realised she was just curious, not suspicious.

 

"Keh," was his eloquent reply.

 

Kagome shrugged, deciding to leave that alone for the time being. She snuggled up to him and rested her perfumed head on his shoulder.

 

"Kagome?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

"It's still early. You might want to sleep some more...pathetic human." He winced at his own choice of words. He resisted the urge to run his fingers through her silky black tresses. Gods, she smelled nice. So very, very nice...

 

Kagome ignored him and sighed blissfully, her eyes closing. "Not sleepy." She murmured, smiling softly.

 

"Feh."

 

Silence.

 

Kagome had her eyes closed but Inuyasha knew she was not asleep. Kagome's soft smile widened slightly, contented with his closeness. He almost smiled himself, when the events of before replayed in his mind and guilt washed away any sense of peace or joy he would have otherwise found in Kagome's nearness. He sighed and let himself be engulfed by her presence and scent.

 

"Oi, wench? You awake?" He asked, knowing she was.

 

Kagome opened her eyes and moved her head to look into his golden orbs. It took all of Inuyasha's self control not to look away. Her eyes seem to devour him whole.

 

"I...I need to talk to you. Now." He said softly.

Kagome looked surprised at his stuttering. "What's wrong?" She rubbed her eyes and payed Inuyasha her full attention, concern written all over her pretty face.

 

"Not here." Inuyasha stated, standing up. He gripped Tetsusaiga's hilt and looked down at her expectantly. Kagome nodded, looking very confused and suddenly feeling a bit uneasy, and took the hand he was offering her to help her stand.

 

Immediately Inuyasha turned around and knelt without a word. Kagome climbed onto his back.

He savoured the soft pressure of her warm, petite body against his back and slid his hands beneath her legs, loving the feel of her silky bare skin under his fingers. Then he leapt and ran for the forest.

 

"Where are we going?" Kagome whispered, her hot breath blowing on the tiny white hairs on Inuyasha's ears and making him shiver. The feel of her breasts pressed against his back didn't help either. He could only hope she didn't notice.

 

"Feh." Was his answer. "Impatient wench."

 

Inuyasha finally reached a clearing and bent down to let Kagome off his back. She stood before him, a questioning look in her eyes, her head tilted to one side, hands on her hips.

 

"Would you mind telling me what's so important that you just had to drag me away from camp without telling anyone?"

 

"They were asleep, wench. They won't miss us."

 

"They might get worried when they wake up. Inuyasha..."

 

"You talk too much, bitch."

 

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest, patting her foot impatiently. A rather long and uncomfortable silence followed.

 

"So?" Kagome finally asked, arching her delicate eyebrows.

 

"So what?" Inuyasha replied harshly.

 

Kagome gave out an exasperated sigh. "Inuyasha...you dragged me away from camp, telling me you had to talk to me, and now you just stand there and not say a word. I want to know what's bothering you."

Her eyes softened when she saw him flinch a little at her words. "What is it?" She whispered.

 

"Feh. Nothing is bothering me." Inuyasha mumbled, folding his arms and turning his back on her. He sighed audibly.

 

Kagome became instantly worried. That was Kagome for you. He could smell her distress without the need to look at her concerned face, and knowing he was the cause of it didn't help.

 

What he had to say had to be said, now or never.

 

He just didn't expect it to be so...damn hard. He decided to go straight to the point.

 

"Kagome...before I say anything I need you to promise me you won't run away...and that you will shut that big mouth of yours and let me finish. Then you'll get your say. Understood?"

 

She would have argued if his voice hadn't sounded so defeated and so very unlike him. She nodded her head, then realised he couldn't see her and answered with a soft "yes".

 

"Okay..." He turned around and the sadness in his beautiful amber eyes made her stomach turn.

Oh no...she knew that look. That look could only mean...

Kikyou.

"Inu-"

"Quiet. I need to say this. And it's fucking hard so please, please Kagome..." Inuyasha bit his lower lip and looked at his bare feet. "Listen to me."

 

His last words were barely audible and he could smell the tears already brimming Kagome's eyes.

"No...no! Kagome please don't cry! Listen to me, damn it!" With youkai speed, he grabbed her wrists and pinned her to a tree.

"Don't you dare run from me." He hissed.

 

Kagome nodded, and now he could smell not only her tears but her fear. It was not fear of him, but for him, and that only made things worse.

 

He loosened his grip on her wrists and licked his now dry lips.

Kagome was waiting for him to talk, but Inuyasha couldn't find the right words.

 

"You've been with her, haven't you?" She whispered, her heartbreak almost palpable in her voice.

"Listen. Just. Listen." Inuyasha paused and sighed.

Kagome's lower lip trembled and she choked back a sob.

"I did see Kikyou earlier, but I didn't go looking for her. She found me. And we...talked." He prayed to all the gods she wouldn't see through the lie. "Kagome...I need you to know that..."

"You don't have to say anything. I know. I know you chose her. I know you love her...I know I'm..."

"You promised you'd shut up." Inuyasha snapped.

Kagome winced at his tone. "Why are you doing this to me?" She whispered, tears now flowing freely down her cheeks.

"Kagome, listen. Kikyou died because of me. She was brought back into this world because of me. It took me a while to realise it, but I know, despite what you or the others might think, that she's dead. She's not the Kikyou I once loved. What will always remain will be my promise to her. I must protect her. But that...clay doll...that's not Kikyou anymore. I will always love her memory. But that's not what I came here to say so could you just..."

Kagome sobbed. "Why are you telling me this? That you will always love her?"

 

The salty smell of her tears was tearing him apart. "Damn it, wench! Don't do that!" He tightened his grip on her wrists.

 

Kagome only sniffed and nodded. She knew he hated to see her cry. She would have wiped her tear strained face with her sleeve, but Inuyasha was currently grasping her wrists.

 

"Don't cry, Kagome. Not for me." Inuyasha whispered, and the frustrated look on his amber eyes softened. He leaned over and without even realising he was doing it, his tongue darted out and he began licking her tears away, not fully aware of how very intimate this was.

 

All he wanted was to see her smile again, that smile that could melt him on the spot...the smile that reached her eyes and made her glow...suddenly, Inuyasha realised what he was doing and immediately stopped, wanting to apologise but at the same time not feeling the least bit sorry about it. The salty taste of her tears and the unmistakable taste of Kagome's skin was bittersweet.

She had stopped crying, her breath caught in her throat. "I-Inuyasha..."

 

Blushing at what he had just done, he summoned his courage and moved his lips to her right ear. "Kagome...you should know this by now, but obviously you don't." His warm breath on her ear made her shiver despite her best efforts to hide it.

It took all of Inuyasha's strenght to face her when he spoke next.

 

"I do love Kikyou. But I don't love her enough. Not since you...since we...I want...I mean...I lo - care about you...what I really mean is...damn it...I need you..." He released her slowly, trusting she wouldn't get away from him. She didn't.

 

Inuyasha waited for Kagome to say something, anything, but when she simply stared at him, her eyes showing a display of infinite emotions, he took a deep breath and continued.

 

"I need you. I would never think of you as Kikyou...no matter what you might believe. You, Kagome, you're my strenght. I..."

 

"Please...don't, Inuyasha. If you're lying..." Kagome started, not daring to believe her ears.

 

"Stupid bitch. You can always tell when I'm lying." He half smiled, half winced.

 

Kagome bit her lower lip but didn't say anything.

 

"I don't want Kikyou. I never really wanted her. I just needed to feel safe, to belong. But now...I know where I belong. And it's not with her. It's...fuck, this is so hard!" He clenched his fists in annoyance and turned his face away from her.

 

Kagome's face relaxed. "Inuyasha...what are you trying to say?" She whispered.

 

When he didn't answer, she gently cupped his chin in her hand and forced him to look at her. He was biting his lip so hard he drew blood.

 

She gave him an encouraging little smile and looked into his troubled eyes, her emotions now clear in her chocolate depths; pure and unconditional trust and love, and a tiny yet overwhelming flash of hope.

 

"It's okay." Kagome said softly. "I won't run away. Just tell me what's bothering you. Don't you trust me?"

 

Her question caught him completely by surprise. "Idiot! Of course I do!" He snapped, then sighed in regret when he saw the hurt look on Kagome's face.

 

"I promised to protect Kikyou. But I realised...I never promised to go to Hell with her. I know it's what I deserve but...I'm too selfish. And I want to live." He said all this as quickly as he could, hoping it was enough. He couldn't bring himself to say what he meant to say, that he loved Kagome so much it hurt, needed her more than air. He cursed his own weakness.

 

"Is that so wrong? I want to live." He asked of her.

"There's nothing selfish about wanting to live. And you don't deserve Hell, Inuyasha..." Kagome answered softly.

He shook his head. "I know you think I don't. But that doesn't change the fact that I owe Kikyou something and that it is all I can give her. I loved her. But I just can't, and won't, give her what she wants of me. It's different now. Things have changed. I have changed. I've never felt this way before...the way I feel for... somebody else...she makes me feel complete. She makes me a better person. I trust her with my life. And she should damn well know this. After what I've done..." He cringed. "She shouldn't trust me. But she does, and I can't bear to lose her trust. I'd rather lose a limb than that..."

 

Kagome's heart sped up. She couldn't breathe. Was he talking about her?

 

"I know I'm not much. I know I don't deserve this person. But I will try my best to do so. Do you think she will accept me?" His golden eyes pierced into hers.

What was that in his eyes? Hope? Fear?

 

Kagome thought hard. If he meant her...Finally, she found her voice. She spoke slowly, softly.

"She will accept you, I'm sure she will. Why wouldn't she? But...how does she feel about you? Have you ever asked her? Do you even know?"

 

Inuyasha was taken by surprise again. Didn't she know he meant her? And they called him dense...

 

He swallowed. "Well...I know she loves me. She trusts me. I have no idea what I did to deserve that but...she just does." He shrugged. "I've hurt her so many times...and still, she...she said she loved me...in a way...and she says so, every day, without speaking. Incredibly enough, she accepts me as a hanyou. You know? Even when Kikyou was alive...well, I knew she couldn't have felt that way. She wanted me as a human. I would have become human for her, because I thought I would be accepted and truly loved then, I would have earned her love if I showed her how much I cared by being what she wanted me to be. But this girl...well...she just...loves me. Me. I'd be damned if I know why, but she..."

 

"...loves you for who you are. Even if you choose to become a full youkai...she will always love you and accept you for what you are. Are we talking about the same girl here?" Kagome finished for him.

 

Inuyasha was growing irritated. He bared his fangs at her.

"What do you think you stupid wench?!" He growled. He was shocked when Kagome suddenly burst into tears.

Of all the reactions he had expected of her, this was definetely not one of them.

"K-Kagome?"

 

She whimpered and would have fallen to the ground if he hadn't caught her by the shoulders.

"Kagome...I was talking about you...why...why are you crying?" Fear gripped Inuyasha's heart. Maybe he'd been wrong...maybe she didn't want him...maybe he was nothing but a worthless hanyou to her after all...

 

"Baka!" She cried as she rolled her little hands into fists and punched him softly on the chest. "Don't you know how long I've been waiting to hear you say these things? But I never...I never..." Her voice trembled. "I never thought...you'd love me that way. Kikyou...you can't forget her...I'm just second best..."

 

"No! Never believe that, Kagome! You're...you...that doesn't even begin to explain it...you're the one I want." He whispered. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realise this. I really am a baka. I'll understand if you turn me down, I know I don't deserve..."

 

"You talk too much." She cut him off, and smiled up at him through her tears. Standing on tiptoe, she pressed her soft lips to his briefly.

 

"I love you, baka. And don't you dare say that you don't deserve love. You really need to work on your self esteem. Always acting so cocky all the time...I would have thought you'd believe in yourself more than that."

 

'I believe in myself because you believe in me,' Inuyasha thought, but was so shocked by her sweet kiss that he was robbed of words.

He licked his lips, tasting her there, wanting to taste more. Her lips were so warm, so deliciously warm...Kikyou's lips had been so cold...

 

Cold lips...so cold...wrapped around him, sucking him, draining him...draining him of his life, his will...

 

What had happened between him and Kikyou suddenly burst in his mind and he roughly parted from Kagome, ignoring the look of confusion and pain on her pretty face.

 

If he had thought he didn't deserve Kagome before, he sure as hell didn't deserve to even glance her lovely way now.

 

He could never, ever tell her what Kikyou had done to him, or he would lose her trust forever, and he would deserve it too. He would deserve her hatred. He would deserve it if she jumped into the well and never came back.

 

And if that happened, he wouldn't give a shit about Naraku, revenge, Kikyou's damned soul, or anything else, for that matter. He would simply die.

 

There was no excuse for what he had done. He was scum. Bile rose in his throat. He was trembling.

 

For the first time since he could remember, he wished that she would sit him. Instead, he felt her little hand on his shoulder.

She turned him around so she could look at him, and he didn't resist her, but wouldn't look at her either.

 

At least he had stopped shaking, but he still felt sick.

 

"K-Kagome..." He forced himself to speak. She pressed her hands against his chest and he didn't, couldn't, pull back. Instead, he felt his own arms wrapping around her tiny waist.

 

He should have moved away. He knew he should have resisted her touch. He should have just leapt into the trees and ran away, as fast and as far as his legs could carry him. But could he ever run away from himself?

And he needed to be close to her. He needed to feel her, touch her...taste her...

 

He wasn't strong enough, his will wasn't strong enough to pull away from her now. Not after all he'd said to her.

 

Inuyasha pushed the unwelcome image of Kikyou kneeling between his legs as far away as he could, focusing his entire attention on Kagome, allowing her to fill his senses, drowning in her scent, her beauty, the safety of her arms and the warmth of her soft body, the perfume of her clean hair and the fact that he wasn't dreaming, this was his Kagome in his arms, that had been his Kagome kissing him for the second time, his Kagome telling him that she loved him and accepted him as he was and trusted him.

 

He'd sworn to protect Kikyou. His self hatred was what forced him to accept her fate as his own and go to Hell with her. It was the right thing to do. Except it didn't feel right.

This, however, Kagome in his arms, felt more than right. This was home. She was his home.

 

Inuyasha was dimly aware of it, but he had pressed his body to Kagome's, pinning her to the tree, and his hands had gone lower, his arms now wrapped around her hips.

 

Kagome's eyes were glowing, her smile too beautiful to behold.

 

"Are you...happy?" He asked finally, nervously.

"You make me happy." She answered simply, and wrapped her arms about his neck.

"Keh." Inuyasha blushed.

 

Still, something else was troubling him. Kagome saw the nervousness in his eyes and frowned.

"What is it?"

"I...I've never kissed anyone before." Was his surprising reply.

"What are you talking about? You and Kikyou..."

"She was the one who always kissed me. When she was alive...only once. And it was a peck on the lips, nothing more. And then..." Inuyasha grimaced at the memory.

Kagome tensed in his arms.

"And then she was dead...and her lips were cold...and I was too shocked and parted from her before she could..."

"I really don't need to hear this." Kagome said, anger flashing in her eyes, and her arms released him. He felt lonely all of a sudden, although he was still holding onto her hips tightly and his body was firmly pressed to hers.

"I saw it, just in case you forgot." She added.

 

"Let me finish, damn it! Then you kissed me...and you saved me. When I was out of control...losing my mind...you brought me back. But I meant - I meant...a real kiss."

 

Kagome arched her eyebrows. "A real kiss?" She blushed as understanding dawned. "Oh! You mean..."

 

Inuyasha blushed as red as his haori. He was surprised and a little offended when Kagome giggled. "Well...I've never kissed anyone that way before either." She admitted, matching the red on Inuyasha's cheeks.

 

Unconsciously, she licked her lips. The glimpse of her tongue was too much for Inuyasha to bear.

 

"Kagome..." He said huskily.

 

Kagome's eyes were glued to Inuyasha's mouth.

He could hear the rapid pounding of her heart against his chest, see the rush of blood to her cheeks, smell the sudden change in her scent, feel her anticipation.

 

His Kagome actually wanted him to kiss her. Really kiss her. Her body was practically crying out for him.

 

"Inuyasha..." Kagome whispered, and her hand moved to his face. She stroked his cheek gently, and he leaned blissfully against her warm hand, closing his golden eyes, a low, contented rumble coming from his chest.

 

The last time he remembered making that noise was when he was four years old and his mother held him protectively in her arms and ran her delicate, long fingers through his hair, or when she sang him to sleep.

 

For a moment, Kagome thought he had indeed fallen asleep; Inuyasha looked exactly as he had when she'd first met him; his thick eyelashes inviting to the touch and his handsome yet almost child-like face so peaceful and innocent, his luscious lips begging to be kissed, silvery white hair slow dancing with the morning breeze.

 

Such a magnificent, complex being...wicked yet adorable, a child but also a man, his need to protect as desperate as his secret need to be protected, his heart as immense as his temper was short. He was so passionate about everything...so wild and kind, despite his best efforts to hide this. How could he possibly see his own kindness as a weakness? He was a walking paradox...by the gods, she loved him.

 

Kagome smiled to herself and slowly lifted her hand. Her fingertips hesitately brushed his velvet soft lips tenderly.

She gasped in surprise when Inuyasha's golden eyes flew open and his right arm abandoned her hip, his hand grabbing her tiny wrist.

 

He kissed her fingers slowly, one by one, then pressed his lips to the palm of her hand. His fingers entwined with hers and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

 

These tender little gestures alone coming from him were enough to set off delicious shocks of pleasure from the tip of her toes and through her veins, Kagome's face now burning and her heart pounding loudly at her ribcage.

 

If he could do that to her just by kissing her hand...Kagome shivered.

 

Her pulse was racing. Was he going to kiss her?

 

Kagome held her breath when she felt Inuyasha's face lean closer to hers.

 

 

TBC

 

AN: I really hope you liked this chap, I'm sure you'll love the next one :) Review onegai! Please tell This Youkai Musashi you forgive her...suggestions will be more than welcome. If me get reviews, me update faster ::hint hint::