InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ LOVE POISON ❯ Kagome: Dream Reality ( Chapter 12 )

 

 

DISCLAIMER: Will never own, can't sue me cause I'm poor :P pfftt! Rumiko Takahashi owns the gang, and I thank her for giving us fans the world of IY and these incredible characters for us to play with :)

My thanks to you and answers are in the AN. I apologize for this being so long. I actually had to split it in 2! So you'll all forgive This Youkai Musashi for not updating sooner, since now you're getting 2 chaps on the same day! Hope I don't dissapoint!

 

Endless thanks to my wonderful friend, incredible co-author, great beta, and Amazingly Talented Scherezade like always! :) ::hugs Scherezade:: My full thanks to you, girl, are here and will be at the end of Ch 13, I'll fully embarrass you in public there :D

And my full thanks to the great Tursupise! This girl is so kind, honest, sweet, and an awesome writer, to boot! You girls so rock, I freakin' love you! This YM bows to you! You've helped me so much with this Ch! If you people haven't read Scherezade's fics yet...IT'S YOUR LOSS BAKA'S! Same goes for Trusupise. Hers is the most wonderful AU IY fic I have ever read and you'll be sorry if you don't check it out! And she deserves reviews! SO GO! Um...after you finish reading this and Reviewing of course ::sweet smile:: Did I mention Scherezade and I are co-writing an AU IY fic, btw? "Beneath The Skin"? I already did? Oh. Well, just in case you forget, Scherezade and I are co-writing an AU IY fic and it's called "Beneath The Skin" ::hint hint:: Who knows what two hentai minds can achieve? ;) You find out! AND REVIEW FOR US! Yes, I'm shamelessly self promotioning our fic. I'm so PROUD of writing with Scherezade and of BtS! We posted Ch 2, so if you already read the first one, go see what happens next!

 

My thanks to Scherezade are at the AN here and will be at the AN of Ch 13...She's the reason these chaps, And most of LP is here!!!

 

 

CHAPTER 12: KAGOME: DREAM REALITY

 

 

Kagome slept with a blissful smile on her face. She could see him clearly - her beautiful Inuyasha - kneeling between her legs, his face flushed, golden eyes devouring her body, his long, silvery white mane stroking her thighs as he fed off her with tongue, teeth and lips. Inuyasha's tongue vibrating inside of her, his mouth suckling on her breasts hungrily...Kagome's back arched in her sleep and she uttered a tiny moan of pleasure...

 

But...suddenly the scene changed...Kagome was no longer in her bedroom with Inuyasha. She was in the Feudal Era and could see a bright, blue barrier surrounding the frightened people of Kaede's village. The sounds of women and children weeping filled the air…and Kagome couldn't help but whimper at the sudden fear she felt.

 

'Where is Inuyasha?' Kagome thought frantically as her panic increased. Something was not right… she could feel Inuyasha's sadness, his dispair, his need for her. It permeated the dream, like a thick cloud.

 

An animal - or was it a demon? - howled beyond the barrier and Kagome turned her startled eyes towards the sound. To her shock, there stood a full youkai Inuyasha.

Inuyasha howled again and mindlessly attacked the barrier that had obviously been erected to protect the frightened villagers and weeping children.

 

'No, no, don't be sad...Inuyasha, don't be angry, it's okay...' Kagome trembled as she desperately attempted to call out to the enraged demon, from where she stood on the sidelines. She didn't know what had brought on this transformation in her dream…if the images were real or part of her twisted imagination. All Kagome knew was that she did not want Inuyasha to be sad, to be scared, to be angry with himself. Even if this was a dream…a nightmare, Kagome wanted Inuyasha to smile, to feel safe… as safe as he made her feel.

She desperately wanted Inuyasha to be able to see himself through her eyes...as he truly was...

 

Kagome continued to watch as Inuyasha pounded on the glowing blue barrier. Each time, he was pushed back violently but Inuyasha wouldn't quit. Kagome winced as he used his sharp, deadly claws to try and slash through the shield, Tetsusaiga forgotten and laying, useless, a rusted neglected old sword, several steps away from him.

 

She couldn't take it anymore..Kagome could not stand to see Inuyasha in such an angry and pained state. She ran towards him, feet hardly touching the ground in her dreamscape and wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a comforting grip.

 

"I love you..." Kagome whispered to him.

 

As is the way of all strange dreams, Kagome knew that the scene before her was only in her head, yet everything felt so real. His body felt so warm in her arms, she could smell his woodsy fragance, his pine scented hair…

 

Even if she was hallucinating... the need to comfort Inuyasha would not abandon her.

 

"It's okay now...Inuyasha..." Kagome whispered to him over and over before the scene changed again, and she fell into a deeper, dreamless slumber.

 

_______________

 

 

Kagome woke up the next morning, feeling rested and renewed, with no recall of the previous night's dreams.

She yawned and stretched, a giddy smile on her pretty face. She realized she was still naked under her pink covers and her face reddened.

 

Kagome was so blissfully happy that the thought of her family being awakened by her moans of pleasure last night didn't really cross her mind at first.

Besides, not even an earthquake would wake her Grandpa; Souta had been sleeping over at a friend's, and her Mama...Kagome sighed. Kagome was pretty sure she'd been quite loud last night...what if her mother had heard them?

 

Mrs. Higurashi had never asked her daughter about her feelings for Inuyasha, but it was more than clear to Kagome than her mother knew. Kagome knew that Mrs. Higurashi adored the dog demon. Even her grandfather liked him, although he shot the hanyou suspicious looks every now and then. As for Souta, well the kid worshipped Inuyasha, plain and simple. The inu hanyou had become her little brother's hero. Kagome smiled to herself as she reflected on the way Inuyasha had won the hearts of her family without even trying.

 

'It's all about the ears.' Kagome thought, knowing this not to be true, but giggling at the idea nevertheless. Her mother had a knack for seeing the kindness in other people and was the most open-minded being on the face of the earth. Somehow, Mrs. Higurashi understood Kagome's relationship with Inuyasha, as well as Kagome's duty in the Feudal Era. She had to understand since she placed her daugther's life in the dog demon's hands literally every day.

 

Reality came tumbling down Kagome and she became slightly worried and more than a little embarrassed.

Would her mother say anything about last night? Kagome knew she'd have to tell her something eventually...she didn't keep secrets from her mother, and her mother believed in her. In fact, Mrs. Higurashi trusted Kagome enough not to ask.

 

Over the past two years, mother and daughter had followed an unspoken agreement that when Kagome was ready and willing to talk about whatever was troubling her - about her 'adventures' in the past - as her mother put it, or why she sometimes returned from the Feudal Era, either with her heart shattered and her spirit broken or with a smile that took up her entire face, Kagome would simply do so without being questioned.

 

This was an agreement they both stuck to firmly, and for that Kagome was grateful. She knew that she had her mother's support and respect...and she was not about to lose it now. But at the same time, Kagome could not bring herself to talk to her about what she and Inuyasha had shared last night. It wasn't the kind of thing you told your mother about, even though she happened to be very open about things...

 

Inuyasha had slept in Kagome's room many times, and Mrs. Higurashi had never found this odd or reprimanded her daughter for allowing a full grown, male dog demon into her room. With the door locked. But last night...Kagome blushed. She was certain she had been loud...

 

Gods, Kagome's breasts felt very sore from Inuyasha's suckling and gentle bites. Her lips tingled from his heated kisses, her tongue actually hurt from him sucking on it so hard. Kagome's mouth was sore and it was an absolutely delicious feeling; the vibrant, present memory of Inuyasha's persistant, urgent kisses that still burnt on her lips such unbearably sweet pain. All these sensations that rolled together were just too intense, so entirely new to her and so...right.

Inuyasha had literally devoured her...

 

You smell so good...but you taste even better...

 

Kagome's blood rushed to her cheeks once more, the memory of his husky, sexy voice whispering these words to her making her shiver in delight from head to toes. She smiled secretly to herself, feeling as if she was floating.

 

Kagome hurriedly slipped out of her bed, and quickly and clumsily grabbed her school uniform.

She tiptoed her way to the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

Kagome faced the mirror to check her appearence before she headed downstairs. Her lips were indeed a little swollen, her hair was an impossible mess. She pressed her legs together; she felt sticky down there as well...

 

Kagome shakingly grabbed her hairbrush and began running it through her hair rapidly, finally satisfied with the results. Then she brushed her teeth vigorously; it was not very often she got to do this in the Feudal Era; not because she didn't bring her toothbrush and toothpaste with her, but mainly because Inuyasha insisted it was 'impractical' and 'pointless' and that they were 'wasting precious time' and 'why the hell would she need to do such a strange thing'.

 

Kagome rolled her eyes as she thought about this, how annoyed he would become with her modern customs...the 'rituals' that took so long, like washing her hair and bathing 'so damn often', when the hanyou insisted she smelled 'just fine' and didn't 'need a fucking bath'.

 

Along with the warm bubble baths in her bathtub and sleeping in her soft bed, brushing her teeth was actually one of the simple things she missed when she was away from her time.

But somehow, her era, her own house...did not feel like home anymore. Kagome felt a pang of guilt at this thought, but she couldn't ignore it or deny it.

Wherever Inuyasha was, that was where Kagome belonged.

 

She splashed cold water to her face and dried it off with a hand towel. She couldn't do anything about her slightly swollen lips, but other than that, she looked like she always did in the mornings. A bit more tired, though.

 

Kagome suddenly frowned…she was sure she had dreamt about Inuyasha last night. Something at the back of her mind was nagging her…there was something important that she needed to remember. But the feeling slipped from her mind as soon as it appeared, and Kagome shrugged it off, and smiled brightly at her reflection before she went back to her room.

 

Her eyes scanned the floor. Kagome spotted the discarded panties Inuyasha had disposed of with

his claws laying on the carpet. She shook her head with a tiny smile and kicked them under the bed hurriedly, foolishly and guiltily looking around, as if someone had seen her hide the 'evidence' of last night's events...she laughed nerviously at her own paranoia.

 

There was no way she was going to attend school today...in fact, Kagome was planning to go back to the Feudal Era, whether Inuyasha liked it or not, that very same afternoon.

 

So Kagome decided to go shopping instead. She needed to restock her supplies of Ramen and extra 'ninja food'. Of course, she would get Inuyasha plenty of bags of the potato chips Kagome knew he could never get enough of, despite his endless whining that he'd much rather have his precious Ramen instead. She also had to buy some rice and tea, not to mention lots of pocky for Shippo, and get the kit the present she had promised him. Kagome thought a coloring book would be just the thing, since she had last bought Shippo a box of crayons the kitsune now considered his most valuable possession.

 

Kagome figured she'd be done with her shopping by the afternoon. Maybe she'd also go see her Eri, Ayumi and Yuka to let them know she was still alive after the school day. Kagome would go to WacDonald's; she'd probably find her friends there. She wouldn't stay long of course because if Houjo happened to be around, the girls would probably set her up on a date with him without her consent and she'd have to turn the poor guy down yet again.

 

On second thought, Kagome decided she probably would not be going to see her friends.

Kagome couldn't count with her fingers how many times she had stood Houjo up, and he certainly didn't deserve it. He was so nice to her, always concerned over her 'health', presenting her with gifts, unusual and disturbing as they sometimes were...being so sweet to her, so desperate to gain her affections and...so...so...well, so - dull.

 

Kagome couldn't help it if she had fallen so deeply in love with a stubborn, infuriating, arrogant, rude, violent, immature...incredibly sexy, gorgeous, caring, complex man from the Feudal Era who was, on top of all these things...part dog demon.

 

She giggled like a little girl, the world a beautiful place for the time being, as she ran down the stairs, the smell of coffee and breakfast filling her nostrils.

Kagome suddenly realized she was starving. She hadn't noticed how hungry she was until she smelled her mother's cooking and entered the kitchen.

 

"Morning, Mama!" Kagome said cheerfully, sitting down at the table. Her overweight cat, Buuyo, immediately jumped onto her lap, all seven pounds of him, and Kagome scratched his ears and heard him purr contentedly.

 

"Good morning, dear." Her mother turned to her with a wide smile, holding two cups of steaming, delicious smelling coffee. Mrs. Higurashi's gentle eyes widened in surprise as she looked around the small kitchen. "Where's Inuyasha?"

 

Kagome nearly fell over her chair and abruptly stopped stroking Buuyo's ears. "Um...Inuyasha? Why would he be here?" She asked, putting on her best innocent face. It never fooled her mother, and they both knew it.

 

"Kagome." Mrs. Higurashi gave her daughter a stern look, and when Kagome blushed, her mother merely laughed merrily.

 

"Mama?" Kagome eyed her carefully, thinking her mother had gone insane. Mrs. Higurashi sat next to her, set the coffee mugs on the table and regarded her seventeen-year-old daughter questioningly.

 

Kagome bit her bottom lip. "Um..." She started.

"Oh honey, it's okay. I know what being young and in love is like! I'm just surprised not to see him here. Usually when he sleeps over, he just can't wait for breakfast. He has such a healthy appetite, doesn't he?" Mrs. Higurashi said casually.

 

"No, mama! I mean...well...he was here last night, but...but we didn't do anything! I mean... he didn't spend the night!" Kagome said hurriedly, praying her mother wouldn't see through her lie. Inuyasha had been in her room last night, but he hadn't slept over, so that bit was definetely true...

 

Kagome hated to lie, especially to her mother, but she felt she had no choice for now. She wasn't ready to talk about her changed relationship with Inuyasha, she was not even prepared to deal with it herself...it had been too much, too intense, and she definetely couldn't say what had happened aloud, not to herself and certainly not to her own mother.

 

Kagome couldn't even think about last night without getting painfully aroused in spite of herself, or blushing so hotly she truly believed her reddened face would soon become permanent.

And she couldn't stop thinking about it...about Inuyasha and how he made her feel, the new and overwhelming sensations he'd awakened in her...she had no control over her mind and body right now, and Kagome was aware that she probably never would after last night...

 

"Oh, I see..." Mrs. Higurashi nodded slowly. "Well, I trust you, darling. I slipped something in your backpack just in case." She winked at her daughter, leaving a completely stunned Kagome staring at her cup of coffee as if she had never seen one in her entire life.

 

"Are you going to school today, Kagome?" Mrs. Higurashi asked casually as she poured her some orange juice and set down an omelette in front of her daughter.

 

"No, Mama. I - I have to do some grocery shopping...I'll be going back this afternoon, I think..." Kagome said slowly, eyeing her mother suspiciously.

 

"All right then, just be careful, okay?"

 

"Okay." Kagome said in a tiny voice. If she had ever felt this embarrassed in her life, she couldn't remember it.

Her mother knew. Gods, her mother had heard them! She wished the earth would open up and swallow her.

 

Kagome cleared her throat. "Mama?"

 

"Yes, dear?"

 

"What do you think of Inuyasha?"

 

Her daughter's question caught Mrs. Higurashi off guard. "What do I think of Inuyasha?" She echoed, and smiled gently. "He's such a sweet demon. His temper is a bit short, though...but he protects you day in and day out, when my little girl is five hundred years away from me and making me the proudest mom in the world."

 

Kagome blushed at this and smiled at her mother gratefully.

 

"He tends to be a little rude, true...but he has a very kind heart. And he loves you so much, honey..."

Kagome's eyes widened. How could her mother have said this so casually, without a single trace of doubt in her voice? Her mother had always been quite perceptive, but...

 

Mrs. Higurashi laughed at her daughter's utterly shocked look.

"Can't you tell? Surely you've noticed how much he cares for you...if you didn't know this, dear, I know you wouldn't have done..." She cleared her throat and decided not to comment on the events of last night for her daughter's sake. "Well...let's just say...if you're not here when Inuyasha comes looking for you he'll wait looking so much like an abandoned puppy it takes all of my best efforts not to stroke his cute little fuzzy ears!"

 

Mrs. Higurashi laughed again at her daughter's red face.

 

Kagome couldn't very well tell her mother that she had licked those 'cute little fuzzy ears' the night before...and that she knew now to what part of Inuyasha's anatomy they were most strongly connected to...

 

Kagome blinked when she realized her mother was still speaking to her: "Of course he pretends not to care. After all, when you come home from school, you usually break into a fight. But you never catch the look of relief in his eyes when he sniffs the air and tells us you're on your way home. I swear, Kagome, if Inuyasha had a tail it would be wagging happily at your return!"

 

"Mama!" Kagome said, and giggled, covering her face with her hands. "He's not a dog!"

Mrs. Higurashi laughed heartedly. "But he's a dog demon, isn't he? And he looks so much like a puppy when he senses you're near!"

"Mama, please, don't ever tell him that!" Kagome said, trying to hold back her giggles.

 

Inuyasha would certainly not be pleased by how Mrs. Higurashi perceived him when Kagome wasn't there to see Inuyasha react the way her mother had just described...as a puppy wagging his tail in joy at his owner's return.

 

"Although you're usually several blocks away when he sniffs the air and says you're coming, his face changes so much he seems like a completely different person. Kagome, his eyes positively glow." Mrs. Higurashi continued.

 

Kagome couldn't help but smile at this. "But...he doesn't look too happy when I come back..." She said.

 

"Kagome, if you don't see him look happy when you come home, it's because he doesn't want you to notice he's glad to see you. He covers it up so quickly I sometimes doubt that look was even there in the first place. And then he starts yelling at you. I admit, I don't appreciate anyone, let alone a half demon, yelling at my daughter...but you don't put up with it anyway. " Mrs. Higurashi smiled. "That spell...the rosary around his neck? Well, dear, I guess that's one of the reasons he's not too happy, even though you don't use it when you come back, you both merely bark at each other. Unless he happens to say something completely inappropiate and you 'sit' the poor thing...not that I hear what you two are arguing about. Most of the time it seems to me he's upset because you're not here, and he misses you. Am I mistaken, dear?"

 

He misses you...

 

Well, if missing her applied to Inuyasha yelling at Kagome for wasting time with pointless exams when they had shards to find and youkai to fight...then yes, he did miss her. But now things were entirely different.

Yes...Inuyasha missed her. And he needed her...not just as a shard detector. Kagome smiled, until her mother's words fully registered in her head.

 

"I don't bark, Mama!" She exclaimed indignantly, trying to cover up her secret smile and the knowledge that Inuyasha indeed needed her and missed her with her minimal outrage at Mrs. Higurashi's statement that her own daughter barked.

 

Her mother once again laughed at Kagome's expression; embarrasment tinged with a dust of pink on her cheeks and the utter, blissful happiness Kagome could not hide reflected in her eyes. Her eyes always spoke volumes for Kagome, and her mother only had to take one look into her daughter's chocolate depths to know exactly what she was feeling.

 

Mrs. Higurashi knew that a part of Kagome wanted to tell her what had happened last night, but she would not press the matter. Kagome was clearly not ready to talk about her relationship with Inuyasha yet, and Mrs. Higurashi would stick to their unspoken agreement. She had never seen that particular look in her daughter's eyes, and could only associate it with the events of last night.

 

Truth to be told, Mrs. Higurashi was a very open woman and she wanted more than anything for her daughter to be happy. She was a little concerned about teenage hormones, of course but she was happy for Kagome and Inuyasha.

To Mrs. Higurashi, it seemed like a wonderful match since the poor hanyou looked like he had been deprived of love his entire life, and Kagome had so much love to give...

 

Truthfully, she couldn't have asked for a better son-in-law than Inuyasha. The thought of one day having puppy-eared grandchildren made her smile inwardly.

 

Kagome was smart, she was strong, she was caring and loving and true to herself. Mrs. Higurashi trusted her daughter with all of her being. And most importantly, Kagome loved Inuyasha more than she could have ever expressed out loud to her or to anyone, for that matter.

Mrs. Higurashi knew this even though Kagome had never told it to her in words. And Inuyasha clearly loved her daughter back.

The last thing Mrs. Higurashi wanted was for Kagome to feel ashamed of her love for the inu hanyou by embarrassing her with questions her daughter wasn't prepared to answer.

 

Mrs. Higurashi sipped her coffee and smiled over the steaming cup at Kagome. "You know, even Souta told me once you two were...how did he put it? Oh, yes...an 'item'." Mrs. Higurashi laughed, a carefree, bubbly sound that managed to make Kagome smile despite her brother's big mouth.

 

'I'll kill Souta when I see him next...' Kagome thought vaguely, but her eyes lightened up with amusement and glee. If even her little brother had noticed...

 

'An item.' Kagome thought, and had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing along with her mother, as she wondered what Inuyasha would make of this, if she ever told him they were 'an item'.

Kagome could just picture the look of adorable confusion spreading across Inuyasha's handsome face, the frown creasing his brow that would quickly replace his confusion, not because he was 'upset' but merely because it was Inuyasha's automatic reaction to 'anything' he didn't understand.

 

"Inuyasha barks a lot. He just doesn't bite..." Kagome said.

 

'...much.' She thought with a secret smile, her hand unconsciously flying to the bruise still on her neck, the purple shade fading but undeniably there.

 

'Oh, it's nothing mama, I just fell on a rock.' Kagome thought, and suddenly had to bite the insides of her cheeks to keep from laughing.

Kagome wondered if she was becoming hysterical because of the uncomfortable situation or because it was just plain funny, but she had a hard time keeping a straight face after that.

 

'The love bite of some dog...' Miroku had said casually with that perverted gleam in his violet eyes, and Kagome felt her face positively burning and was certain her face was as red as Inuyasha's haori. Had her mother seen the 'love bite' of the dog demon? Although it wasn't a bite really...Inuyasha had sucked quite hard on her neck at that moment...but he had bitten her...in other places...

 

Abruptly, Kagome decided she could not stay in the same room with her mother any longer…the embarrassment, the laughter that threatened to break free was too much for her to handle without an explanation.

She stood up, her breakfast untouched, drank her coffee down in one gulp, and kissed her mother's cheek. "I'll hurry back, mama!" She said quickly, before her mother could say another word.

 

Kagome walked quickly to the front door, put on her shoes, and stepped outside, shading her eyes with her hand as the bright, morning sun hit her face, the breeze gently caressing her hair.

It was a beautiful day in Tokyo; Kagome was beyond relieved at her mother's unspoken acceptance, grateful that she hadn't questioned her, and that she still had her mother's trust.

 

Kagome was still concerned about Inuyasha...about his inner youkai and his denial that he could not control it...his fear for her, and the enormous weight he was carrying on his shoulders that he would not tell her about...

 

Again, a strange image passed through her mind…a fragment from a forgotten dream? There was something Kagome felt she needed to remember. Kagome sighed in frustration; if it was important, it would come back to mind. In the meantime, she would be there for Inuyasha, always, just like she knew he would be there for her.

 

And right now, all that mattered was that he cared for her...that she was the only one he wanted... that he had loved her, shown her, last night...just how much he - cared for her.

 

Kagome's smile widened as she stopped in front of Goshinboku and looked up at its leafy boughs.

"I'm coming home soon, Inuyasha..." She whispered to the Sacred Tree.

 

________________

 

 

To say that Inuyasha was not a happy hanyou would be an understatement.

 

His senses were gradually beginning to fade, his body actually ached from the effort it took to rebuild the damn village, and he hadn't finished rebuilding all of the huts his inner youkai had destroyed by the time late afternoon came around. His muscles were sore and all Inuyasha really wanted to do at the moment was sleep.

 

And sleep was a luxury he couldn't afford tonight.

 

Sure, Miroku and Sango had helped rebuild the small village...but since Inuyasha was not particularly fond of restricted, closed spaces, he had insisted on building spacious huts with one too many windows. This made the job more difficult for him, and in the end he had given up and started erecting smaller huts, so the village now looked - unusual, to say the least.

 

Most of the villagers found the larger huts satisfying, although they complained that having too many windows would be a disadvantage during the harsh winters.

 

Inuyasha could not take it anymore. His body hurt and in a few minutes the sun would sink behind the horizon.

Already, the inu-hanyou could smell nothing, sense nothing, and he was cursing inwardly and wondering where the hell he could hide from the villagers and any vicious youkai who might be looking for Shikon shards.

The youkai would represent no danger to Inuyasha in his normal half demon state...but even lesser youkai could be deadly when he was a pathetic, defenseless human.

 

The only thing Inuyasha was grateful for was that he could neither sense his youkai blood in his veins, nor hear his inner youkai speaking to him in his head. The villagers were safe from his inner youkai for tonight.

 

Except he did not feel safe. Kagome was not there, and he was about to turn into a helpless human. Inuyasha even wanted to hide from his own companions this time, didn't want them to see him even weaker.

 

If Myouga was right...and Inuyasha hated to admit that the old flea did have a point...his human blood would be weaker tonight...and he couldn't bear to show himself to his friends as an even weaker, defenseless human who couldn't even save his own life. Even Shippo would be more helpful to the monk and the exterminator than Inuyasha would be tonight, if his human form had indeed become even 'weaker'...

 

Make the hurt go away...

 

Inuyasha growled at the youkai flea's voice in his head. He wasn't really sure what to expect of this night. He felt alone and frightened, just like when he turned human when he was a pup and he had to hide in caves or restricted spaces to save his life. Back then, his Mother had been with him, they would hide together, and she would cradle him in her arms and whisper sweet words to him, stroking his midnight black hair and telling him he had nothing to fear.

 

After she passed away, Inuyasha had no idea what to do with himself on the nights of the New Moon. As an orphaned, human whelp, he felt even more alone than as an orphaned, hanyou pup.

Inuyasha couldn't even climb to the relative safety the trees provided, afraid that he would fall on his human head and die.

 

So he cowered in caves, shaking in fear, holding back tears, thinking about his Mother, imagining she was there with him, embracing him, trying to smell the comforting scent of her and to hear her whispered, soothing words in his mind.

 

Except she was dead and gone. She was dead and he was alone, and he was human, like his Mother, and Inuyasha was aware that he too could die. As a pup, the threat of death weighed heavily on him on the night of the New Moon.

 

If it was winter, Inuyasha worried that he might freeze to death. If he was hungry, he thought he might starve to death. If Inuyasha became sick around his human night, he thought he might die. After all, as a pup, Inuyasha did not know much about any of the various fatal illnesses humans suffered...except that they died all the time...and he thought he would die too, were he to get sick

on the New Moon.

 

Inuyasha wondered if, like his Mother, he would simply...cease to exist. This is how he saw his human nights as a whelp, he felt his loneliness more strongly on these dreaded nights, his dulled senses scared him and left him helpless, and the fear of death gripped his heart.

 

Inuyasha had never longed for death, or else he would have allowed the youkai that hunted him down as a hanyou to simply end his life instead of running away from them.

Inuyasha had wanted to live, to become strong, to one day be worthy of being his Father's son...of the many amazing tales his Mother had told him about his full youkai Father and his legendary battles, of his courage, his demon strength.

 

After his Mother's death, Inuyasha had sworn to himself that he would become like his Father, like the half brother he had met as a pup only once, his full youkai brother who had made it more than clear to him that being a hanyou was a disgrace.

 

Inuyasha would become a full demon one day, stronger even than his Father, he would show the other youkai who wanted him dead, and the humans who despised him, and his intimidating older brother who looked down at him, that he was better than all of them.

 

One day...he would be strong, he would be free, he would not fear death; death would fear him.

 

The dreadful, horrifying certainty that he was human during the New Moon, that he could so easily die, was what frightened him the most as a whelp. He hadn't run away from youkai on these cursed nights, he had run away from death itself.

 

The thought now made him laugh bitterly...every single night of the New Moon since Inuyasha had become a grown hanyou...he barely escaped death one way or the other.

 

And he still hid. He was still afraid.

 

If there was one feeling Inuyasha hated the most, it was fear. He could not allow himself to be afraid of anything. And yet lately, this feeling had grown stronger than ever before...except it

wasn't fear for himself or fear of death...it was fear of his own inner youkai, fear for Kagome.

And Inuyasha discovered this was infinitely worse...the unbearable thought that he could not

protect Kagome from his youkai side...that she would be better off back in her world...away

from him.

 

Inuyasha could not bear this. Kagome belonged with him, she belonged to him!

He cursed his inner youkai for forcing him to send her away. This feeling of emptiness, of loneliness, was eating him alive.

 

Inuyasha sighed. Sango, Miroku, Shippo and Kirara were all looking anxiously at him.

He turned away from his companions and approached Kaede, who was standing in front of her hut, hands clasped behind her back, looking around the village with an almost amused glint in her one black eye.

"Inuyasha..." She said when she saw the hanyou approach her. "Ye have done a...most unusual job at rebuilding the village."

 

"Keh." Inuyasha folded his arms, burying his hands in his sleeves.

"I must say, ours will be a - curious village for travelers to pass through." The old miko looked up at the sky. "My boy..."

"Don't give me that 'my boy' crap, old hag. I'm way older than you." Inuyasha snapped.

Kaede smiled patiently. "Then start acting your age, Inuyasha."

 

"Keh." Inuyasha rolled his eyes and pouted.

Kaede's smile widened slightly at Inuyasha's response to her words. "It is the night of the New Moon..."

"I fucking know that, old hag. Ow! What the fuck did you do that for?!"

The hanyou turned around, amber eyes glowering at Miroku, who had just let his staff 'slip' and hit Inuyasha hard over the head.

"Respect your elders, Inuyasha." The monk said calmly.

"She's not my elder!" Inuyasha replied, scowling.

 

Sango rolled her eyes. "Kaede-sama, please continue."

The old miko nodded. "Inuyasha...night is nearing. I expect ye might want to stay away from the village...I'm offering ye my hut, if ye would accept it..."

Inuyasha's golden eyes widened slightly, but his scowl never left his face. He looked around at his companions, not fully aware that he was glaring at them.

 

"I want to be alone tonight..." He mumbled, trying very hard not to sound rude and failing.

 

"But..." Sango began uncertainly.

Miroku held a hand up to silence her. "Inuyasha...are you saying you do not wish us to share the hut with you? Are you sure of this? You will be human tonight..."

 

"Keh. If the old hag offered her hut, then I can stay there for the night. I just...need to think."

 

"You've been doing that a lot lately!" Shippo declared from his comfortable place on Miroku's shoulder. "Doesn't it hurt?"

Inuyasha bumped the kit on the head. Shippo burst into tears. "Baka! I was just worried about you! You're not used to thinking!"

"Shut the fuck up, brat!" Inuyasha shouted.

"Now, now, Inuyasha, calm down...I am sure Shippo meant no offense by his...honest statement." Miroku said reasonably.

"Honest statement? The runt just insulted me!" Inuyasha pouted and pointed an accusing, clawed finger at the small kitsune.

 

Kaede sighed. 'Boy, indeed.' She thought, shaking her head to herself.

"I shall leave ye to your thoughts, then, my bo - Inuyasha." Kaede quickly corrected herself when she saw the dangerous glint in Inuyasha's golden eyes.

 

The old miko resisted the urge to smile again at the hanyou's immature behaviour. "Mirouku-sama will seal the hut with his Ofudas to keep youkai away...would that be all right with ye?"

Inuyasha nodded, scowl still in place.

 

Suddenly, his nose twitched and his scowl deepened. "What the fuck?" He hissed, and vanished in a blur of red and silver before anyone could open their mouths to ask what was going on.

 

His sense of smell might have been numb, but there was no way in hell he could miss the scent of his bitch, coming straight at him from the direction of the Bone Eater's well.

 

Her scent overpowered him as he drew closer to the well, and then he saw her; Kagome climbing out of the well, her ridiculously large yellow backpack over her shoulders.

 

"Bitch!" Inuyasha shouted, landing in front of her, blocking her path. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here? I thought I made myself clear when I told you to stay in your time!" He bared his fangs at her, but Kagome didn't even flinch.

 

She merely gave him a patient little smile and shrugged her shoulders; quite an achievement since her backpack was weighing her down.

"I came to see you. Is that so bad? Do you want me to go?" Kagome said in the sweetest voice she could manage.

 

Inuyasha opened his mouth to give her a piece of his mind when her words slowly sank in. "You - you're using my words against me!" He exclaimed in outrage. "Why, you...you..." He struggled to speak, but suddenly Kagome threw herself in his arms and her warm body against him robbed him of words.

 

Gods, he had missed her so much! He knew he had to send her back to her time but damn it, he wouldn't!

Kagome was finally here, she was with him, and suddenly the New Moon was not so threatening anymore.

 

"I missed you too, baka." Kagome said softly, smiling up at him.

 

"You stupid wench. You'll break your back with that shit." Inuyasha blushed at her words and roughly turned her around, taking the backpack from her. He slung it over his shoulder without a word.

Inuyasha began walking back to the village. Kagome ran to catch up with him.

 

"Does that mean I can stay?" She asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

 

"Keh." Inuyasha refused to look at her.

 

"Inuyasha..."

 

"Fine! Stay! Like I care!" He snapped, and was immediately sorry when Kagome shot him a heartbreaking look. Inuyasha sighed. "Look, wench, things aren't - right at the village now..."

 

"What do you mean?" Kagome asked slowly as the nagging feeling in the back of her head that she had been trying to ignore all day, returned to her.

 

"I - my youkai blood...it awakened earlier...it - he...trashed the village." Inuyasha shut his eyes, bracing himself for Kagome's reaction.

 

"Oh." She said slowly. "This happened...before you came to see me, Inuyasha? Was that why you said things were not okay? Your youkai blood took over your mind?" Kagome frowned slightly, looking very confused, as images from her dreams seemed to pop into her head.

 

A bright, blue barrier surrounding the frightened people of Kaede's village…

 

The sounds of women and children weeping filled the air…

 

Inuyasha howled again and mindlessly attacked the barrier…

 

Had she somehow seen what had occurred in her absence? Kagome knew that she needed answers to the many questions that suddenly flooded her brain…and the only one who could give them to her was standing in front of her.

 

"But...why? I..." Kagome stammered. "I wasn't here...Did you fight a youkai that threatened your life? Did you have Tetsusaiga with you?"

 

"Damn it, bitch, you talk too much!" Inuyasha replied harshly.

 

"So you've said..." Kagome replied slowly, narrowing her eyes.

 

"I don't fucking know why, okay?!" Inuyasha all but shouted at her.

 

"Oh, so now you're lying to me!" She said angrily.

 

"Am not!" Inuyasha protested, without looking at her.

 

"You are! You know why, don't you?" Kagome insisted. She placed her hand on his shoulder and turned him around to face her. "Why?" She whispered, all trace of anger vanishing from her features.

 

Inuyasha looked away. "It's getting late, Kagome. I don't know if you remember but..."

 

"I know. Tonight is the New Moon." She said softly. That was probably why he was allowing her to stay in the first place, she thought with a grimace.

 

'Oh, Inuyasha...if only you knew...why can't you see there is only one of you?' She thought sadly, and sighed wearily.

 

"It's okay for now if you don't want to tell me. But please don't lie to me, Inuyasha." Kagome said slowly.

Inuyasha just stared at her, golden eyes searching her face. Finally, he spoke. "Keh. Whatever wench. Just...don't look so shocked when you see the village. I fucking spent all day rebuilding the damn place."

 

Kagome's eyes widened slightly but she didn't say anything as they kept walking in silence. She wanted to ask if anyone had been hurt, but didn't dare.

 

As they neared the village, Shippo suddenly appeared and jumped on Kagome's arms. "Kagome! I missed you so much! Did you bring me pocky?"

 

Kagome giggled. "Yes, Shippo-chan." She looked at the kitsune nerviously. "Is everything all right?" She asked softly.

 

"I told you bitch, everything is fine!" Inuyasha said harshly, looking over his shoulder at her.

 

"I was asking Shippo, baka!" Kagome replied, frowning at him.

 

Shippo sighed. "Yeah...kind of." He looked over at the inu hanyou hesitantly.

 

"It's okay, runt, I already told her." Inuyasha mumbled, and again faced forwards, refusing to look at Kagome.

 

"Kagome-sama!"

 

"Kagome-chan!"

 

"Miroku-sama! Sango-chan!" Kagome exclaimed, almost glad for the interruption. Shippo jumped down from Kagome's arms and scooted over to the monk and the exterminator.

 

Kagome looked around the village, trying to mask her shock. "Oh dear..." She murmured.

 

"Something wrong with it, wench?" Inuyasha asked, daring her to comment on his concept of an ideal village.

 

The huts that had been rebuilt that day looked rushed and...even more rustic than the huts in the Feudal Era normally were...Kagome couldn't help but be strongly reminded of Souta when he used to play with his Legos.

 

The huts were scattered all over the place, some were enormous, while others were too small. It seemed Inuyasha had wanted to start big and had ended up either becoming bored or just too tired to stick with his original plan. True, there weren't many huts in the small village to begin with, and a few of them had apparently survived, Kaede's included...if Inuyasha hadn't decided the villagers needed more space, he would have finished the job neatly...but then again, it was the day when he was weak as a hanyou, and tonight he would turn human...Inuyasha must have been pretty exhausted, even if he would never admit it.

 

At least, the children were happy. Now they could run inside their huts as well as outside them, something children who were born into humble homes and didn't live in palaces or fancy houses could not have done otherwise.

 

Except the windows...there were too many of them. Winters were cruel, the snow and the bitter wind would probably make the large huts feel colder than it would be outside. And when it rained...what would the people do? They had no glass in the Feudal Era to cover them...

 

Kagome smiled at Inuyasha reassuringly, though. "You did a great job! The huts look...um..." Kagome's brow creased in concentration. "So...spacious! And look at all the windows!"

 

She was running out of compliments, but Inuyasha's eyes shone gratefully and an almost proud smile graced his lips. "Keh. It was nothin'. I could have done a much better job if I had my usual strength." He declared, arms folded across his chest, chin lifted high.

 

Miroku and Sango gave each other incredulous looks and Shippo looked up at Kagome as if she had gone completely insane.

Kirara rubbed against her legs and mewled and Kagome swept the firecat youkai up in her arms.

 

"Kagome-chan...are you all right?" Sango asked carefully.

 

"Of course I am, Sango-chan!" Kagome beamed at her.

 

Miroku was staring from her to Inuyasha with that particular look of his, but wisely held his tongue.

 

"Why did you come back, Kagome-sama? Inuyasha..." Miroku swallowed and glanced at the inu hanyou questioningly.

 

"Save your breath, monk. I already told Kagome what happened." Inuyasha said in a low voice.

 

Miroku cleared his throat. "Did you also tell the lady why...your youkai side did what he did?" He asked slowly.

 

Kagome's head shot in Inuyasha's direction. "Inuyasha..." She began.

 

"I said I didn't know why he did this!" Inuyasha said menacingly.

 

Miroku nodded in understanding. "Ah...so I see." He said quietly, and not another word left his lips.

 

Sango looked troubled, and Shippo was avoiding to look at Kagome, suddenly finding a stone on the ground particularly interesting and paying it his full attention. Kirara jumped down from Kagome's arms and Sango picked her up.

 

"Um...why do I have the feeling there's something you are all hiding from me?" Kagome asked, arching her eyebrows.

 

"My child!" Kaede approached the uncomfortable group and smiled at Kagome. "Ye are back! I am so glad to see ye!"

 

Kagome smiled weakly at the old miko. "I'm glad to see you too, Kaede-baachan."

She stared questioningly at her friends and glowered at Inuyasha for the longest time, who was scowling down at his feet as if they were to blame for all that was wrong with the world.

 

Kagome saw the village's skinny headman approaching them cautiously. He didn't look happy to see her.

"So." He said sharply, glancing from Kagome to Inuyasha, who was still looking at his feet. "The 'bitch' is back, huh?" He asked the inu hanyou.

 

Inuyasha's ears flattened against his skull, but he didn't comment on this or reacted to the man's vicious tone. Kagome frowned. The bitch is back?

She stared at Inuyasha and then glared at the headman. "What is that supposed to mean?" She asked in a low voice.

"Why don't you ask your dog, miko?" The man spat, and without another word, turned and left.

 

Kagome opened and closed her mouth, not knowing what to say. She heard Inuyasha's growl and knew it was not a good sign.

 

"Inuyasha...he didn't mean that. I'm sure he didn't. Please..."

"Kagome...he called you a bitch." Inuyasha growled, baring his fangs at the departing figure of the headman. "How dare he? I'll fucking kill that bastard!" His fists were shaking at his sides.

 

Kagome grabbed his hand, opened his clenched fist with all of her strenght and entwined her fingers with his, squeezing lightly.

"Inuyasha...it's okay, he was just...upset. Don't hurt him, I know you won't. Inuyasha...he's human."

 

"He doesn't know any better." Shippo added helpfully.

 

Inuyasha stared at Kagome's small hand holding his. "But...he called you a bitch." He said in a dangerous, low tone, a growl still vibrating in his throat.

 

Miroku looked at his hanyou friend in utter shock. Sango, who knew a little more about inu youkai, didn't say anything, but looked away, blushing.

"Inuyasha...if I may...don't you call Kagome-sama that too? All the time?" The monk asked slowly.

 

Inuyasha glared at Miroku. "It's...different." Inuyasha stated, satisfied with this explanation.

 

"How so?" Miroku asked, arching his eyebrows.

 

Inuyasha growled at the monk. "Because Kagome is MY bitch, got it?!" He yelled.

 

A long silence followed this statement. Kagome blushed darkly, and didn't know whether to feel proud, offended, upset or embarrassed by Inuyasha's loud declaration.

 

Did he have to say that? Did he have to yell it?

 

Kagome licked her now dry lips and let go of Inuyasha's hand. Miroku was robbed of words, and after a statement like that coming from his hanyou friend, this was truly a once in a lifetime achievement.

 

Sango was currently looking up at the darkening sky thoughtfully. "Inuyasha..." She began tentatively, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

 

The inu-hanyou looked up at the skies, sensing the exterminator's unease. The sun was slowly sinking into the horizon, he could feel his blood tingling, the transformation was about to take place...

 

 

TBC

 

 

AN: Thanx to everyone at AFFN: Tally, JuniperJazz, fruitcake,sourgirl ,Amanda, gud, Echo, Jacqui, gilmork,cablefast, Lindsey, Kute koyori, owari nai yume, frenchdiamond_1, and special thanx to J, lere, Durian, Serafim, Wing_Goddess, lady_green, Reo, Sasuke Kishunami, KurohiTatsaki and Coffee Gyrl! ::group hug:: You guys are Amazing! And HUGE thanks as always to Zelix, Cutie Pie Hentai (Thanks thanks thanks for giving this review whore what she wants! lol), and Psycho Koneko who always always reviews for me! I freaking luv ya all!

 

People at mm.org...please PLEASE REVIEW! ::begs on her knees:: PLEEEEEASEEE!!!

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Endless gratitude and love and hugs for Scherezade! ::bows:: Go read our fic! ::hint hint:: And read her fics too dammit! If you didn't you're missing out on her Amazing writing, so it's your loss :P She so ROCKS! I adore ya, girl! ::hugs:: And I love love love your reviews! Even though you read the chaps before anyone else! You take your time to read 'em Again! I feel so loved ::tears of joy:: And it's always Wonderful to find your reviews there! Girl you're incredible, helping me with this when you don't even have time to get proper sleep ::glares:: But I'm selfishly glad you're doing this ::ashamed look::

 

THANKS AT MM.ORG: Mangomoo (WOW thanx! Gosh I'm so happy you're enjoying this! People here don't review so every little review means the WORLD to me! And I have a fan here! Me HAPPY!::blush::), naughty_angel, frenchdiamond_1 (thanx for reviewing here too, I SO needed that, readers don't review there! MEANIES!), xfiledino, Miroku_girl, Zelix (Zel is always there for me!) and cynbad146.

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Thanks for reading! And REVIEW! Look, I'm not begging now, I'm just asking you to review pretty please with sugar on top...review! Much ramen and pocky to ya all! ::mumbles about not getting reviews at mm.org:: ::group hug to all those who reviewed:: COME ON PEOPLE AT MM.ORG! Review! ::puppy eyes:: Pretty please?

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