InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ LOVE POISON ❯ Those Three Words ( Chapter 18 )

DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Don't sue. Rumiko Takahashi = rich, Youkai Musashi = poor.

 

Please don't kill me! I've been busy! *cowers* Gomen everyone! And thanks as always to my sweet reviewers! *group hug* I love you all! Keep 'em coming! Make my muse happy!

 

Sorry, you won't find out what will happen to Kagura yet. However, next Ch is almost finished, so to make up for the delay I'm posting this extra long Ch and will post the next one sometime next week. So please review!

 

"Love Poison" has won 1st place for Best Characterization (Inuyasha) and 2nd place for Best Serial Fic at the IYFFG Awards!!! Thanks so much to those who voted for me! I can't believe I actually won!

 

But I want to share this with TRUSUPRISE...my awesome beta and best KS evar (keep rowing girl!), who's helped me more than she knows or would admit, through writer's block and rl, and has always supported me in every sense. She rocks so hard and her fic is the best IY fic I have ever had the pleasure to discover. If it wasn't for this wonderful, beyond talented girl, I would have stopped posting chaps a long time ago, so this is for my girl, TRUSUPRISE! I LOVE YOU! I just can't thank her (or embarrass her) enough! *hugs kawaii Trusuprise*

 

So...this chapter is dedicated to Trusuprise and the triumphant return of her gorgeous pup Kona!

 

As always thanks to Scherezade. She hasn't been my beta for several months, but her help and advice have always meant the world to me and I miss her! Rl is kicking her in the head...so all my love to you! And to my kawaii friend Lizashu for putting up with my endless whining lol. This girl is a saint, honestly.

 

Someone asked if this fic was written by Scherezade (?) LP is all YoukaiMusashi. Good or bad, LP is my baby, and I'm not Scherezade (I wish I could write as well as she does though!) I'm co-writing a fic with her, under her account, that's currently on hiatus because rl is a bizzle, so this person might have been confused...

 

Btw, it doesn't help to send me death threats or yell at me. In fact, a review that only says "Update" just makes my muse go sulk in a corner and it irritates This YM to no end. Hell, just say "It sucked" or "It was ok" or an opinion of some sort, but yelling at me will NOT make me write faster. I don't mind if you tell me to update, as long as you give me an opinion along with it, tell me what you think of the fic, or the chap, or whatever. I'm suffering from writer's block and this does not help! Ahem...sorry about that. I love writing and even more if people enjoy this fic. But I don't like to be yelled at, or insulted, and I definetely dislike pressure. It makes me not enjoy writing, so please, those who do this, DON'T. Ok, I feel all better now.

Sorry if I sound bitchy, I don't mean to. But some people have hurt my feelings in emails and I'M SENSITIVE, OK?! I love my reviewers to pieces, and love reviews, but the single word "Update" is NOT a review in my book. Hope I didn't offend anyone, it wasn't my intention. But it really makes me sad! :(

 

Again, I apologize for the delay. It might take me longer to update...but like I keep saying, this fic will not be neglected. I have a life, as much as I hate to say it. And it's not being kind to me, I'm under a lot of stress now and trying to find a new job. I'm trying hard to update as soon as I can. I love writing LP and I won't stop until it's finished :) So please stop asking if this fic is going to be unfinished cause it won't. Anyway...all this to apologize for the delay and reassure you that this fic will never be neglected. Bear with me, 'kay?

 

I'd like to thank vyleconnection for her email...she was actually the only one who asked me nicely when I was going to update and commented on the fic instead of just ordering me to write more, and I really appreciate that. So thanks for your support!

 

If you have any questions, please email me at jesse_ryuu@hotmail.com, and I'd be happy to answer them! Sorry about the rambling! But it's been...um, a month *ducks as tomatoes fly at her* I'll shut up now.

 

On to the story! Hope you enjoy! As always review review review! Pretty please?

 

 

CHAPTER 18: THOSE THREE WORDS

 

 

Sobbing soundlessly, Kagome had broken into the hut, and discovered the demon exterminator, the monk and the firecat youkai were already awake and had been, in fact, peering out of the windows towards the distance, where she and Inuyasha had been standing before Kaede's small hut.

 

Before the girl had a chance to open her mouth to explain that which she did not know, Sango's arms were around her wordlessly and Kagome buried her face in the older girl's hair and allowed herself to cry.

 

Shippo was muttering about what a baka Inuyasha was, and Miroku was hushing him as he stared sadly at his miko friend. Sango shot him a look over her shoulder that silenced him before he had a chance to voice his opinion. Kirara rubbed against Kagome's legs in silent condolance.

 

"Kagome...we need to talk." Sango said softly as she stroked her best friend's hair comfortingly.

 

Kagome shook her head. She didn't want to talk about Inuyasha, she didn't want to voice her fears. If she said them out loud, they would become real.

 

"Let's go outside." Sango whispered as she squeezed Kagome's shoulder and looked into her eyes sympathetically. "I think you ought to know a couple of things...you see, Myouga-jiji showed up last night..."

 

Kaede rose slowly from her cot and walked cautiosly towards her sister's reincarnation and the demon exterminator. "My child...I do believe it would help if ye knew certain things...about inu-youkai. Some things I do not believe even Inuyasha knows himself."

 

"But..." Kagome looked around the hut helplessly. Miroku avoided eye contact with her, while Shippo snifled and wrinkled his little nose, but refrained to comment on the fact that Kagome smelled more strongly of Inuyasha than ever before. She smelled...like mating...almost but not quite.

 

Miroku stared at the kitsune thoughtfully and looked up at Sango. He nodded his head. "I agree with Kaede-obachan, Kagome-sama. Perhaps this information will make you feel better? I do not know what is troubling you so...but..." The monk shrugged. "You are most likely confused, correct?"

 

Kagome nodded and snifled. She bit her bottom lip. "I...I don't know what to think..."

 

"Then it is best for Sango to inform ye about inu-youkai customs. I do believe, Kagome, that Inuyasha knows these things by instict alone. But if ye are to become...his mate..." Kaede began.

 

Kagome blushed. "How...how did you know...?" She stammered.

 

Kaede shook her head. "That matters not. Inuyasha knows. And apparently, so do ye. Sango." The older girl looked at the old miko, blushing herself. "Tell Kagome what ye must."

Sango understood Kaede's hidden words and nodded.

 

She dragged Kagome out of the hut after Miroku informed them the hanyou was out of sight. Sango however, was fully convinced their stubborn friend would most likely be nearby; he would not go so far as not to catch Kagome's scent. He was probably sulking on a tree or pacing back and forth in front of the Bone Eater's well.

 

Kagome sighed when they were finally alone and dried her tears with the back of her hand.

"Kagome-chan..." Sango began uncomfortably. "You and Inuyasha have gotten closer...is this true?"

 

Kagome nodded. There was no sense in denying it. "But...but not that close." She added hurriedly. Her voice lowered to a whisper. "He...he said I was going to become his mate. That I was...his chosen one." Kagome looked at her best friend shyly. "He lost control over his youkai blood this morning. But he didn't hurt me. And he said I was his...chosen one...as a hanyou..."

 

Sango stared at Kagome thoughtfully. "Kagome-chan...did you know that inu-youkai mate for life?" She asked out of the blue.

 

Kagome's chocolate brown eyes widened, but then she nodded, a bit uncertainly. "Well...I didn't know until this morning. Inuyasha - in his youkai form - he said so...actually, he growled it at me. He was angry when I asked him...about...about..." Kagome swallowed and looked away. It hurt, to even mention her name.

 

"About Kikyou?" Sango pressed.

 

Kagome merely nodded her head. "He was very upset." She said in a tiny voice.

 

"You actually had a conversation with Inuyasha, in his full youkai form?" Sango asked, brown eyes widening slightly.

 

Kagome frowned and nodded slowly again. "Y-yes. I suppose you can call it that. He kept calling me 'mate'...he...he wasn't trying to hurt me, Sango-chan."

 

Kagome swallowed and told her friend all she allowed herself to say without further embarrassing herself; how Inuyasha had insisted they were ready, how he had accepted the fact that she wasn't, how Inuyasha had hurt himself grabbing Tetsusaiga and reverted to his hanyou form. And how much she had struggled to make Inuyasha understand that there weren't three forms of him as far as she was concerned.

 

Sango was surprised at this. She hadn't thought of it that way before. To her, youkai Inuyasha had always been a mindless creature. But Kagome had talked with him...he hadn't hurt her. As Myouga had said, his youkai side had developed a personality. And he would never hurt his chosen one.

 

Inuyasha, of course, didn't know this. But Kagome hadn't been there to hear the old flea's words, and yet she had trusted Inuyasha not to harm her in his full demon state.

 

Sango was awed but didn't say anything. She let the younger girl talk. Kagome hadn't told her what she and Inuyasha had done in the hut while he was human, but Sango had a pretty good idea.

 

Then came the part Kagome didn't want to think about. "Sango-chan...he asked me to purify him!" She said almost desperately.

 

Sango scowled. Inuyasha must have been scared to death for Kagome's safety if he had gone that far as to ask her to do such a thing.

But Kagome wasn't finished. "Apparently...Kikyou tried it once. As soon as she was resurrected she tried to kill him...but wasn't strong enough yet. I didn't know...he told me...and he said it was nothing!" Kagome shook her head in disbelief. "I can't do that to him!"

 

"But...you won't kill him. He'll turn human..." Sango said slowly.

 

"How do I know that? And I...I never did such a thing before!" That was a lie, Kagome knew, but no one needed to know that.

 

"Of course you have." Sango said simply.

 

Kagome arched her eyebrows questioningly. "Kagome-chan, every time you use your bow against youkai, your miko powers pour into a simple arrow. Why do you think they're called purifying arrows?"

 

"But..." Kagome protested.

 

"I'm not saying you should do this to Inuyasha." Sango defended herself at once, holding up her hands and shaking her head. "I know you'd never do this. But it's the same thing...all you need to do is focus the power that flows in your veins in one place and...shoot. Imagine you're holding an invisible bow. It takes a lot of energy to do that though...a lot more, and it will leave you exhausted. But maybe...just maybe you'll need to learn to do this. Why not ask Kaede for help?"

 

"Because I won't! I don't want to -" Kagome sighed. "I - I don't want to learn to do that! I won't be like her, Sango-chan!"

 

"No one is asking you to be." Sango smiled smally. "You're a miko. A powerful one, at that. Maybe this will come in handy later on, don't you think? And you'd be easing Inuyasha's mind. If you can control this, maybe he'll feel safe around you. Kagome-chan..." Sango looked at her feet for a moment, then took her friend's hand. "Let's go sit down, all right?"

 

Kagome looked confused but followed Sango to a nearby log and they both sat. A long silence followed. Sango sighed, searching for the right words.

 

"When I said inu-youkai mate for life...and when Inuyasha said it to you this morning...what did you think of it?" She asked carefully.

 

Kagome was surprised at this turn in the conversation. "Well...I..." She stammered. "I think it means...something like...marriage?"

 

Sango smiled and nodded. "Something like it. But with humans, it's different. Humans grow old and die. So do youkai and hanyou, of course, but the passing of time is not the same for them, as you probably know. Inuyasha has been sealed in the Sacred Tree for fifty years, yet his body has not aged a day. Have you ever wondered about that? You know his Father was centuries old. And the Gods know how old his brother is..."

 

Kagome nodded. "But...what does this mean? Does it mean that if we...were to mate...I would grow old and die and Inuyasha...he'd remain the same?"

 

Sango shook her head. "You probably noticed there aren't many hanyou around, right?"

 

"Now that you mention it..." Kagome started slowly.

 

"Well...youkai are careful when they choose their mates. But sometimes..." Sango smiled. "Like in Inuyasha's Father case...or your case...it's destiny. Although I'm not sure I believe in that myself. Kagome-chan... you and Inuyasha are like soulmates."

 

Kagome was somehow not surprised to hear this. She merely waited for her best friend to continue, her hands folded neatly on her lap.

 

"How do you know this?" Kagome asked slowly. "And wouldn't that mean Kikyou and Inuyasha...?" She choked on her words. "My souls..."

 

"Hold it right there." Sango said sharply. "Your souls, Kagome-chan, are yours and yours alone. Kikyou does not belong in this world. She's dead. She stole your souls...and I believe you let her keep a piece of you inside of her...now why did you do that Kagome-chan? Don't answer that." Sango smiled sadly. "You're way too nice for your own good, did you know that?"

 

Kagome smiled back smally. "I felt sorry for her...and Inuyasha...I thought...I thought everything would be okay...if I stepped aside...and if Kikyou knew about Naraku...she would forgive him. I just wanted...and still do...for Inuyasha to find happiness."

 

"And what makes you think he hasn't found it with you?" Sango asked of the younger girl.

 

Kagome shrugged. "He said he cared for me...that he never cared for Kikyou like he does for me. But still..." She sighed. "He can't forget her. And that's okay really..."

 

"No! Kagome-chan it is not okay!" Sango snapped. "Honestly I don't know how you deal with this!"

 

"He loves her. That will never change. If I don't accept that...then I wouldn't be accepting Inuyasha." Kagome said in a low voice. "But...I know he loves me too."

 

"This is too complicated. And it makes no sense. I'm hearing you speak but do you even believe what you're saying?"

 

"Yes." Kagome said in all honesty. "His love for her is a memory. Sometimes though..it hurts and it doesn't seem like a memory. But I trust him, and when he said he cared for me, I believed him. But you said we're soulmates. And he said I was his mate, his chosen one..."

 

Sango took a deep breath. "You won't grow old and die on him. But you will have to go through the mating ritual...both of you...and that, Kagome-chan...I don't know anything about that. I don't think anyone but the already mated youkai and humans know about it. And I honestly have no idea what will change, if anything, for you, because he's a hanyou...I do know though, that if you and Inuyasha were not meant to be...it simply won't work. But if it does...then you will live as long as he does. You won't have demon powers...or strength... and you're vulnerable to disease, of course. That cannot be helped. You're human. But if one of you dies...then the pain will be unbearable for the other. Also..." Sango swallowed. "Are you prepared to see your family, your friends...age and die with time...while your body remains the same?"

 

Kagome gave this some consideration. She nodded slowly. "I don't know if I'm prepared to...to see everyone I care about die around me...but..." She smiled at Sango. "Two years ago, I promised Inuyasha I'll remain by his side...forever."

 

"But it's not just a word that means 'a really long time'. Do you understand that?" Sango said slowly. "Forever would be forever, Kagome-chan."

 

"I made a promise, didn't I?" Kagome said. "I just want Inuyasha to be happy and to live. And I said I'd stay with him. Forever. It wasn't just a word to me either, Sango-chan."

 

Sango smiled. "And you are the one who can make him happy. We all know he'd die for you. But better yet...he'll live for you and with you." She sighed. "I wish some man would just tell me I'm their only one... instead of groping anything remotely shaped like a woman."

 

Kagome grinned knowingly at her friend. "Well...you'll just have to work harder on that, won't you, Sango-chan? I'm sure Miroku will stop looking at other women if you told him you wanted to be his 'chosen one'..."

 

Sango blushed. "You really think so?" She asked in a low tone of voice.

 

"Sure I do! He likes you!" Kagome said happily.

 

"He likes my butt, Kagome-chan." Sango replied sourly.

 

"That's not true! Well, yes it is, but he likes you for more than just your behind." Kagome stated. "Trust me, I can tell!" She added enthusiastically.

 

Sango frowned. "But..."

 

"You're waiting for him to make the first move."

 

The older girl bit her lip and nodded. "He's afraid of his curse. I know that much. He doesn't want to...commit himself to anyone...until Naraku is killed."

 

"I know." Kagome said softly. "But...you've got to live in the present."

That comment seemed odd coming out of her mouth and she shook her head to herself. "Miroku-sama wants to live, Sango-chan. And I bet you anything he wants to share his life with you. Would you bear his children, though?" She couldn't help but giggle as Sango blushed deeply.

 

"I...I would..." The older girl replied smally, finding her sandaled feet very interesting suddenly.

 

"Then leave it to me! It's the least thing I can do for my best friend." Kagome smiled.

 

"Oh no, don't you start getting ideas..." Sango began, shaking her head. "That pervert is..."

 

"That pervert is crazy about you!" Kagome cut her off.

 

"He's crazy, period." Sango muttered.

 

"Come on, Sango-chan! If Inuyasha admitted he cares for me, don't you think it's time you admit you care for Miroku-sama...at least to yourself?"

 

Sango was silent. Then she gave Kagome a small smile. "I guess it is. But now...we need to help Inuyasha. We'll do anything we can, Kagome-chan. I think you really should learn the purification from Kaede though. It would ease his mind...and it would be useful too..."

 

Kagome frowned immediately. "I don't know..."

 

"At least try it, just to shut him up. He wants to live, doesn't he? You said he wasn't going to follow Kikyou into Hell...that he told you he wanted to live..." Sango pressed.

 

Kagome nodded. "He wants to live. And he wants to be with me..." She realized this when she said it out loud and smiled. She looked up slowly to Sango's face with tears of joy in her brown eyes. "Sango-chan...I - I make him happy?"

 

"Of course you do, silly!" Sango smiled warmly at her. "But Inuyasha might not be consciously aware of what I told you. He knows it instictively, because it's in his youkai blood...so you shouldn't tell him...he needs to figure it out himself...also..." Sango sighed. "I don't think any of us will be happy...or at ease...until our quest is over. Inuyasha knows this too..."

 

Kagome knew Sango was thinking about her younger brother and she patted the older girl's hand affectionately. "Everything will be all right in the end, Sango-chan. You'll get your family back. Inuyasha promised you Kohaku-kun would not come to any harm...and you know he never breaks a promise." Sango smiled weakly and nodded.

 

"I won't say a word. My lips are sealed. But... Myouga-jiji..." Kagome started.

 

Sango sighed. "He should have told Inuyasha about this. He said he tried though..." She frowned. "Inuyasha is more worried about his youkai blood right now. It wouldn't be wise...to just blurt this out to him. You know how he gets. If he thinks this is something his youkai side is demanding of him, he won't do it, thinking he's risking your life..."

 

"Yes, I think so too...but..." It was Kagome's turn to frown. "I have to find out what happened, Sango-chan. What did Kikyou tell him that morning? How can I stop it? I have to help him..."

 

"We'll figure out a way. In the mean time...I think all he needs is for you to be at his side."

 

"That's easy." Kagome smiled. "I'm not going anywhere."

 

"No...I meant..." Sango winced. She didn't want to tell Kagome that the reason youkai Inuyasha had trashed Kaede's village mindlessly had been because Kagome wasn't there. The exterminator sighed. "Just...stay here for a while, all right? Don't go back to your time. If you do, make sure you take Inuyasha with you..."

 

"I already said I wasn't going back to my time anyway until he got better."

 

"But..." Sango bit her bottom lip. 'Getting better' was a mild way of putting it in Sango's opinion, but she let it pass with a light nod. "Okay...but if you do go back for any reason...take him with you. I don't really need to tell you this, because I know he'll go after you anyway...you don't know how he gets when you're not around."

 

'You have no idea...' Sango thought with a grimace.

 

"Thanks, Sango-chan. For everything..." Kagome smiled and hugged her friend tightly. "Would you mind waiting here for me and Inuyasha? I want to be alone with him for a while..."

 

Sango arched a suspicious eyebrow. Kagome blushed and lifted her hands innocently. "It's...it's not like that! I just want to talk to him alone...I won't say anything but...I need...I need to be with him. Now that I know..."

 

Sango laughed lightly. "Relax, Kagome-chan. I'll tell houshi-sama and the others to wait for you two. Inuyasha is probably tearing his hair out at this moment, I think it's been over an hour that you've been away from his sight...luckily he can still smell you."

 

Sango tried to smile, in spite of the thought that the fact that Inuyasha could still catch Kagome's scent meant a lot more than she let the younger girl know. She wasn't really looking forward to witnessing another one of Inuyasha's transformations, screaming for blood and howling like a madman that they were all hiding 'his bitch' from him...she shuddered.

 

Kagome was too busy blushing at this to notice Sango's grim expression. "We'll be right back, Sango-chan..." She said hurriedly as she stood. "My backpack is in Kaede's hut. There's breakfast there if you guys are hungry...but we won't take long..."

 

"Take your time." Sango said slyly. "Kaede-obachan is already fixing breakfast for half the village in there."

 

"Oh, shut up." Kagome tried to sound annoyed but she was smiling as she hugged her best friend gratefully again. "Thanks." She whispered.

 

"You're welcome, Kagome-chan. Now go get your hanyou."

 

Kagome stuck out her tongue at her. "You're one to talk. Go get your monk!"

 

Sango looked at her, the picture of wide-eyed innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about."

 

"You and Miroku will get together before this day is over!" Kagome stated, pointing a finger at Sango.

 

"Oh, stop threatening me, and just go away already!" Sango said, laughing lightly and giving Kagome a gentle push.

 

Sango watched her friend walk away from the hut and head towards the Bone Eater's Well. Once she was out of sight, she got back inside the hut to inform her companions that they were leaving later than they had planned.

 

She looked out the window and saw Kirara and Shippo playing with the village's children. And tried really hard to ignore the fact that Miroku had obviously overheard their conversation and was leering at her, while Kaede fixed a pot of steaming stew for them and the many villagers that had spent the previous night in the spacious hut.

 

A grope later, and the perverted monk was sporting a nice, painful lump on his head, but smiling blissfully nevertheless.
'Crazy about me, my butt...' Sango thought angrily, then nodded to herself. 'Crazy about my butt.' She rephrased mentally. She couldn't keep the secret smile that formed on her lips though, and could only hope Miroku missed it.

 

_____________________

 

 

Just as Inuyasha was about to burst into the village and bring Kagome back to demand what in the seven Hells was taking his bitch so long, his sensitive nose caught her delicate scent, and he saw her figure approaching the Bone Eater's Well, her steps tentative and almost hesitant.

 

Inuyasha stopped in his tracks at once, as though someone had ordered him to halt - or to 'stay', the hanyou thought in half-annoyance, half-relief that Kagome had returned to him from the 'alone time' she had requested he grant her.

 

Inuyasha expected Kagome to be mad with him. Of course, she had shown him before that she had forgiven him for his outburst, for thoughtlessly comparing her to Kikyou earlier, but...she'd been 'thinking' for far too long for Inuyasha's liking, and in his opinion, thinking only led to disaster. She was probably upset with him again, or worse...most likely she'd be...sad.

 

Needless to say, Inuyasha was one shocked hanyou when he saw the young miko gracing him with that particular smile she saved just for him.

 

But...Kagome had also been crying. He could see the trails her tears had left on her cheeks, and smell the salty scent of her pain and it made him wince inwardly.

 

'Sit me, dammit! Don't smile at me like I...like I deserve it! Just...sit me and don't be sad, sit me and yell at me and insult me but don't...don't act like I'm your fucking hero! Especially not after...not after what I've said, not after everything I've done to you...to us...' Inuyasha thought frantically, wanting to shake her by the shoulders and scream these words at her.

 

Instead, he looked away from her lovely, sweet face and stared at his feet, refusing to meet those adoring chocolate hued eyes. Sure, she forgave him. But that didn't mean he would forgive himself. Kagome always forgave him. Not for the first time, Inuyasha wondered how such a big, generous and understanding heart could fit into such a petite girl.

 

As she drew nearer, he caught the scent of her dried tears more strongly and he refused to look up at her. Shit, he'd made her cry! And here she was, smiling lovingly at him as if he'd done nothing wrong, as if he hadn't hurt her - again.

 

Inuyasha stood frozen in place as she stopped before him, and he barely had time to look into her eyes and was nearly knocked to the ground when the young girl flung herself unexpectedly into his arms.

 

"Oi!" He managed, as she hugged him tightly against her body. "Kagome?" His eyes were full of unanswered questions but before he could open his mouth he heard her speak ever so softly, her voice muffled since her face was currently pressed against his chest.

 

"Shh...let's stay here for a little while...okay?" Kagome said tenderly. "I know you're in a hurry...and we need to catch up with Naraku and all...but..." She looked up at him with huge, imploring eyes. "Can we stay like this? Just the two of us?"

 

Inuyasha keh'd, half heartedly. He could never say no to that look of hers though, and he pulled her down with him so that they both sat on the ground, his back against the well as she snuggled up to him. Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her protectively, the long sleeves of his haori forming a cacoon so that most of Kagome's body was hidden from view and all he could see was her glowing face.

 

Why the hell did she look so...so happy? Not that he was complaining but... Damn it he didn't deserve her. Not only had she forgiven him, but she was also...happy.

 

Confused, but happy himself that he could hold her this close, drowning in Kagome's soothing presence and comforting scent, Inuyasha pressed his large hands to her small back and pulled her as close to his body as he possibly could, laying his chin on top of her perfumed head and inhaling deeply. Now, if only he could ignore the painful smell of her previous tears...

 

No such luck. The inu-hanyou sighed regretfully.

 

"You've been crying." He stated abruptly. He'd meant his voice to show regret, and come out as comforting, but instead he heard his own harsh tone and realized he'd just sounded as if he was actually blaming Kagome for it. 'Way to go, baka.' He mentally berated himself.

 

Luckily, Kagome knew the stubborn hanyou well enough to accept his statement as the hidden apology it truly was and smiled gratefully, a tiny, understanding smile that Inuyasha missed since her face was currently buried in the front of his firerat haori.

 

She felt the tears coming again, except this time she knew they'd be tears of relief and joy. Nevertheless, she knew Inuyasha hated to see her cry, so she bit her bottom lip to repress them, closing her eyes and concentrating on feeling him with all her senses.

 

Kagome couldn't very well tell him about her conversation with Sango earlier, but she felt giddy and at the same time...quite overwhelmed.

 

She had guessed that much from Inuyasha's inner youkai's words that morning, and she had heard Inuyasha as a hanyou practically say...no, actually, he had almost screamed at her...that he loved her. And there was no mistaking his previous words either...he had told her she was his chosen one.

 

Whether Inuyasha himself understood the implications behind this was irrelevant at the moment. Kagome was contented by being held by his strong arms. She didn't want there to be any words at the moment. All she needed, all she wanted right now...was to be in Inuyasha's arms and feel the warmth of his body and marvel like she always did at the woodsy, wild, spicy fragance of him. The safe cacoon his wide haori sleeves pooling around her offered her was a safe place she never wanted to leave. His long, silvery white hair cascading around them like a veil hiding them from the rest of the world was more than enough for Kagome now.

 

"You still mad at me?" Inuyasha asked hesitantly after a second of shared silence, his bangs covering his eyes.

 

"Yeah but..." Kagome sighed, and even then Inuyasha could tell the young girl was smiling without having to look down at her face. "It doesn't matter...I'm...I'm glad too."

 

Inuyasha was growing more confused by the second and this only made him angry. "And why the hell is that?" He snapped.

 

Kagome sighed again, and lifted her face to meet a pair of impossibly sad golden eyes, strongly contrasting with the harsh tone of voice their owner had used.

 

Her hand rose slowly and her fingertips gently caressed Inuyasha's lips. It was so unfair to her that she could not have him, love him like she longed to. So unfair to the world that he was such a deliciously irritating being, ageless golden eyes on the face of a young, sullen boy. She thought with a secret smile how devastatingly cute he looked when he pouted, but of course she'd never say the word 'cute' to his face when he considered it only applied to small furry weak creatures such as chipmunks, or namely Shippo, but she thought so anyway, as her thumb gently pressed against his soft, full lips. Such kissable lips he had too...

 

He was a stubborn baka most of the time, yes...but he was her stubborn baka. Just like she was his 'reckless bitch', she supposed with a secret inner smile. Not that she'd say a curse word out loud, but she was thinking, so Kagome guessed it was okay...

 

Kagome smiled, fingers moving to caress his face. Such smooth skin he had too...tanned from spending most of his life outside, his skin was almost golden. And he looked so confused...so vulnerable then.

 

'He'll never let go of Kikyou. But it doesn't matter...because he cares abot...me. And I love him so much that living without him would be like living without air...I know he - cares...and he's shown me he - more than cares for me...if only he'd say it. Stubborn adorable brat he is...' Again she recalled Sango's previous words. Or more accurately, one word that she couldn't push away.

 

Forever.

 

"Let's just...leave it at that for now, all right?" She offered gently. "I'm not sad, Inuyasha. I'm...yes, I'm still mad. But I'm not mad at you...not really. That would be unfair of me...I know you just can't help it. And it's okay. As long as you...care for me...I'm happy." She smiled beautifully at him.

 

"But..." Inuyasha started.

 

"Am I your chosen one, like you said before?" Kagome cut him off.

 

"Keh. Stupid bitch. I thought I'd made myself loud and clear!" Inuyasha snapped, growing irritated. He blushed slightly too, because he had almost made himself louder and clearer than he would have liked.

 

"Then that's all I need to know." Kagome said simply.

 

Was this why she was so - so - not mad at him?

 

Kagome's smile reached her eyes and became almost unbearably beautiful then. Her delicate fingers had never for a moment stopped exploring Inuyasha's face, as though she were catologuing his features for later thoughts, and the inu-hanyou leaned into her hand and gave in to her ministrations.

 

Inuyasha wanted to apologize for earlier. He stared into her warm chocolate depths for a short eternity, licking his dry lips, an apology itching at the tip of his tongue.

"Then why the fuck did you tell me to stay away from you, bitch?" Was what came out of his mouth instead.

He braced himself but Kagome merely shook her head, smile still in place, and kissed his cheek in response. "Can't we just...enjoy a moment of quiet, for once?" She asked.

 

"But...you said..."

"Shh..." Kagome said, eyes widening as she pressed her index finger to Inuyasha's lips, silencing him. "Can you hear that? Listen closely."

 

Inuyasha's small dog-like ears perked up as he strained to hear, but he caught nothing but the sounds of his forest, seemingly breathing and alive around them.

 

"I don't hear a fucking thing." He said ever so tactfully, scowling down at the girl in his arms who was grinning at him as if she had just won an argument.

 

"Exactly!" Kagome said triumphantly and sighed blissfully as she further snuggled up to the slightly ticked off and very much confused inu-hanyou.

 

"Have you lost fucking your mind, wench?" Inuyasha said, not sure why the hell he was whispering, except Kagome was obviously hearing something he couldn't, and that was of course, impossible. His eyebrow ticked as he looked down at the top of her head.

 

"Blessed silence." Was Kagome's soft reply.

 

"Ah." Inuyasha didn't say another word, even going as far as holding his breath so Kagome could have her 'blessed silence'...for about five seconds until he finally snapped. "Oi, bitch. Listen up. I know you're pissed. So why don't you just 'sit' me and get it over with?"

 

"Shh." Kagome hushed the impatient inu-hanyou calmly.

 

"Don't hush me, wench! Just...just 'sit' me, dammit!"

 

"Why?" She asked him peacefully, her eyes closing.

 

"Just do it and get it over with!"

 

"Will it make you feel better, Inuyasha?"

 

Kagome opened her eyes and looked at him, trying to read his amber depths. She saw the vibrant fear there, fear for her and for himself that he could not hide no matter how hard he tried ever since - well, ever since he had confessed he cared for her. And a barely concealed affection she'd discovered recently that had also appeared with this unshakable fear. Yet the guilt she saw in his eyes was stronger, and after an instant of pregnant silence, Inuyasha looked away from her penetrating gaze.

 

"Make me feel better? Well...no...I mean, yes! Um...will it make you feel better?" He winced, expecting her answer to be 'yes'.

 

"Not really." She murmured absently.

 

Inuyasha was silent for a moment. "Then why the hell do you do keep doing it all the time?!" He wondered out loud, a little more harshly than he'd intended.

 

"Cause you deserve it." She answered with a hint of amusement in her voice.

 

"I knew it. You are a sadistic bitch." Inuyasha stated with a roll of his eyes.

 

"Am not!" Kagome said indignantly. "You are such a baka sometimes..." She gave this some consideration. "Most of the times, actually."

 

"Keh."

 

"But I love you. And I wouldn't change a thing about you, Inuyasha. You know this, don't you?"

 

Inuyasha 'keh'd' again but blushed at her words. Yes, he knew that. And he wouldn't change a thing about Kagome either.

 

'Then say it, baka. Say it. Three words. Say it. I love you, Kagome. Wait...that's four words. I love you, Kagome. Say it, you pathetic dog! Why can't you say it, you wimp?!' He thought angrily, pouting and frowning at the world in general.

 

Why? Well...because then everything would be real, wouldn't it? Then he'd know this wasn't just a dream. That everything they had shared in the last few days was real. He could hurt his Kagome. His encounter with Kikyou would be real also. He'd hurt his lost Kikyou, too. He'd hurt himself. No. He corrected himself now. Kikyou had hurt him. But...she hadn't meant to, had she? Kikyou's undisguised hatred and disgust for him would be real, too. His youkai blood overpowering him would be real...

 

But he loved Kagome, damn it! Telling her this...why was it so hard? Loving her was easier to him than breathing...why would just saying it be any different?

 

"Kagome..."

 

"Hmm?"

 

"I..." 'I love you. Say it!'

 

"What is it, Inuyasha?"

 

"I..." He cleared his throat. 'Say it!'

 

"I...really think we should get moving. Naraku..." Inuyasha winced. 'Fuck!'

 

Kagome sighed. "Just a little longer?" She begged of him.

 

"Whatever." Inuyasha rolled his eyes. If only a 'little longer' could be a short eternity...he just wanted to stay here with Kagome in his arms. He felt so safe...nothing could reach them like this, or so it seemed to him.

 

This was real.

 

He couldn't say it...not yet. And he was barely aware that he'd moved his head towards her and was currently nuzzling her neck. Kagome tilted her head to allow him better access and he gratefully pressed his lips softly to her sweet skin.

 

Soon his small ministrations turned into open mouthed kisses, as he alternatively licked and kissed her neck, nibbling here and there. Kagome gave out a soft sigh as her eyes fluttered shut.

 

Shit, now he couldn't stop, and he was fully aware of his actions as well...but also, his youkai form was oddly silent, so he risked it.

 

Inuyasha kissed her silky lips chastely. Until Kagome decided to run her tongue along his own lips, and he parted them willingly to allow her access. Kagome's tongue found his and they kissed slowly. She tilted her head as his mouth opened wider and the kiss became deeper, yet it was not rushed. Their tongues danced slowly, as he pressed her tightly to him, her small fists clutching the front of his firerat haori.

 

Now Inuyasha could hear more than the muted sounds of the forest. The soft kissing noises their lips made when they met and every time they separated for a fraction of a second only to meet again, as Inuyasha pulled on Kagome's velvety lips repeatedly. Kagome's soft little sighs, her tiny sweet moans as he deepened the kiss. It was long and slow; he took his time, catching her tongue between his lips and suckling on it tenderly. He felt Kagome's small hands cupping his face.

 

This time the kiss was more urgent, their tongues dancing a bit more aggressively than before. But when Kagome's hands abandonned his face and moved up, stroking his ears, Inuyasha was forced to pull away from her, his breathing laboured. Inuyasha somehow managed to murmur her name. "K-Kagome..."

 

She looked away almost guiltily. She knew he could smell her arousal. 'Great, just great, baka,' she told herself angrily. "I shouldn't have done that...sorry..." Kagome whispered in a heart breaking voice, slightly out of breath.

 

'But you started it!' She wanted to yell at him and point an accusing finger at the inu-hanyou, whose handsome face was flushed, his ears twitching, longing for her touch.

 

Inuyasha couldn't hear his inner youkai in his head, but he wouldn't risk Kagome's safety either. He already had screwed things up as it was.

 

Damn the sneaky little bitch for being so...so her! In spite of these thoughts, his head leaned into her hand unconsciously and his eyes closed slowly. He took a deep breath, taking in her enticing femenine scent. By Kami she smelled too good...

 

Yes, he could spend eternity just kissing her and smelling her addictive sweet fragance...actually, no he couldn't. What he really wanted to do was take her right then and there, not giving a shit if someone saw them or not. First, he'd take his time, he'd lick at her core madly and make her cry out his name in esctasy for all of Japan to hear who she belonged to...thrust and curl his tongue deep inside of her and feel her shudder and climax in his mouth...and then he'd...

 

'Shit. Not again...damn it! Damn her! Think...think unsexy thoughts! Think of...think...think of...oh Gods she smells so fucking good...' He lost his train of thought when he felt her delicate fingers on his sensitive ears and had to resist the urge to jump her.

 

With Inuyasha's head pleadingly leaning against her hand, a soft growl of contentment vibrating in the back of his throat, Kagome had hesitated - for about a second...before rubbing the tips of his fuzzy white ears gently, running her fingers slowly along the soft appendages. Inuyasha's ears had always been her guilty pleasure...ever since the day she'd met him...she just couldn't help it...they were begging to be touched...

 

Kagome felt him shudder, a groan mingled with a growl that could have been her name escaping his lips. Then Inuyasha's golden, misty eyes snapped open and he suddenly caught her hands by the wrists.

She gasped in surprise and mumbled a second apology.

 

His voice was barely a shaky whisper, his grip on her wrists a little too strong. "W-we have to stop this! I'll go for a walk - a really long walk...and then we'll meet the others and...and..."

 

Kagome nodded and licked her lips, tasting Inuyasha there, wanting to kiss him again, and looking away from him in half embarrasment, half dissapointment. "I understand. Just...don't take too long, okay?" She gave him a weak smile he didn't return.

 

He released her wrists, brow furrowed. Damn right he was planning on taking his time...tempting little bitch she was. He scowled at her, as if she already should know why he was 'going for a walk'.

 

Kagome looked away yet again, a light blush dusting her cheeks, still in awe that she was capable of blushing after all that had occurred between them.

 

Inuyasha stood up, taking her with him. Immediately he let go of her, and Kagome looked down at their feet. He lifted her chin up and looked into her apologetic brown eyes with his own undisguised regret.

"Wait here. Naraku is..."

"...way ahead of us. I know." Kagome offered him a small nod. Inuyasha nodded back and turned his back on her, immediately leaping for the tree tops and vanishing in a blur of red and white.

 

Kagome sighed. "Stupid, stupid!" She muttered to herself, kicking some dirt uselessly while she was at it. Then again it hadn't been so long since she had discovered she had hormones...curse him for being so hot. And had she just thought that? She couldn't recall thinking of him as 'hot' before. Handsome, oh yes. Irresistible, that too. A sin... definetely. Hot...yes, he was that too...

 

She bit her lip to stop herself from crying out in frustration. 'I'm hopeless..." Kagome shook her head, trying not to remember the intimate moments she had shared with Inuyasha...and failing miserably.

 

A couple of minutes later, the inu-hanyou emerged from the woods. His face was stern and cautious, almost curious as he regarded her. Inuyasha didn't say anything as he approached her.

 

"You're back? I thought you said you'd go for a long walk? That was quick..." Kagome said, trying to push any impure thoughts of Inuyasha as far away as she could. She could feel the heat on her face and the ache between her legs that refused to go away. Unconsciously, she pressed her legs together, fiddling with her hands nervously.

 

Then she realized...slowly but surely that something was wrong with Inuyasha...but she didn't quite understand what was so...out of place.

 

Perhaps it was the fact that she couldn't read his eyes at all when she looked up at his face...eyes that usually spoke volumes for him, or more importantly... Kagome couldn't sense his youki.

 

How could that be? She could always sense his presence, feel him...and now he seemed so far away...but there was no way she could miss his familiar youki...

 

What the hell...?

 

She opened her mouth to comment on this...her miko senses were practically screaming at her, but all coherent thought abandonned her when Inuyasha wordlessly gathered her body to his in a tight embrace.

 

"Kagome..." He whispered hotly in her ear, sending shivers down her spine, his clawed hands stroking her raven locks.

 

"Um...what happened to the 'we have to stop this' part?" She said tentatively, trying to keep her voice neutral.

 

He couldn't play with her emotions like this...one second he was all over her, the next he was pushing her away guiltily...and two minutes later...he was holding her so tightly she was having trouble breathing.

 

Kagome pressed a hand between their chests and pushed him back slightly. "What is it with you?" She demanded. "I don't understand, Inu - " His name died in her throat as she felt his warm lips kissing her neck like minutes before, then moving up to her ear, taking her earlobe between his lips and suckling gently, only to move upwards to lick her entire ear wetly, his husky voice whispering softly to her.

 

"I love you, Kagome. Don't you know this? I love you...I want you so much..." His warm breathing came in ragged pants now, and she was stunned into silence, her heart soaring and pounding madly against her ribcage.

 

He'd said it. Those three words. Inuyasha had said he loved her out loud. Kagome's intelligent response immediately followed his confession. "Huh?"

 

"I love you," Inuyasha murmured, looking into her eyes. She opened her mouth to reply when he locked his lips with hers savagely, silencing her.

 

She melted in his heated embrace, his tongue invading her mouth. He was kissing her a little too roughly, but Kagome didn't have a problem with that...in fact she returned his kiss with equal passion as her arms wrapped about his neck.

 

Inuyasha's kiss...it was...wrong. Even in his youkai form, his kisses had always sent a feeling of delicious warmth and sweet longing through Kagome. He had always passed on his feelings for her through his kiss, through his touch...his unspoken love.

 

Now Kagome felt nothing but lust there. It was...alien...but - but he'd admitted he loved her. Kagome couldn't, she wouldn't, push that aside, push him aside...

 

Inuyasha's large hand left her face as it traveled lower. It slipped under her shirt and she felt it closing around her right breast, squeezing it so hard she let out a tiny yelp into his mouth. His left arm held her tightly against him, completely encircling her small frame.

 

Inuyasha titled his head to deepen the kiss, his teeth clashing with hers, his lips bruising her. She gasped again and tried to disentangle herself from his iron grip, but he was too strong, and not only did he hold her tighter when she tried to push him away feebly, but he gave her breast another squeeze, smirking when he broke the kiss as he pinched her already hardened nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Inuyasha twisted her nipple painfully and she gave out a small cry that was effectively swallowed by his hungry mouth pressing against hers again.

 

Kagome was shocked to find herself wishing he would release her. She didn't want his hands touching her like this, didn't want his mouth on hers...but why? How could this be? Her body responded to him, that part was painfully obvious to her...this was Inuyasha...except...

 

Except...she couldn't feel his youki.

 

Finally, her heart, mind and soul, that had been blinded momentarily by her utter love and desire for the inu-hanyou and the words he had whispered in her ear, the words she had longed to hear from his lips for so long, screamed at her to wake up. Warning bells rang in her ears and Kagome's eyes snapped open in sudden terror.

 

She felt it. She felt it then. And she realized she had felt it all along and had ignored it. How could she have been so stupid?

 

'Because...because he told you what you wanted to hear...he said...just the right words...' Kagome thought, furious with herself. Her fear spiked, adrenaline running though her veins. She was angry with herself but she was suddenly very, very afraid.

 

What she felt now, what she had felt since he had stepped out of the forest and had ignored...

 

His youki. It was not Inuyasha's. This being, wearing Inuyasha's face was, in fact, pushing her aura away when she shakily tried to reach out to his youki in a desperate attempt to prove herself wrong. She had to be wrong, had to be...

 

But he reeked of wrongness. Everything about this Inuyasha was wrong.

 

Shape shifter...

 

The creature bit her bottom lip hard, drawing blood, and when she looked into his amber eyes...she couldn't deny it to herself anymore. Those might have been a perfect imitation of Inuyasha's beautiful eyes, but the soul within them... Gods, that tainted soul...

 

'No...' She thought frantically. 'No no no no no...'

 

"N-Naraku..." Kagome finally found her voice.

 

 

 

TBC

 

 

AN: Evil cliffie! Um...I'll answer some questions before hand: No, Naraku doesn't want to get it on with Kagome, or with anyone else for that matter. He hates the 'weakness of the flesh' and is completely frigid. He did what he did in this Ch for his own reasons...that will be explained later on. He sees lust as a weakness, since it's all Onigumo, and the only reason he cannot kill Kikyou is because of his human heart and Onigumo's feelings towards her. So carnal pleasures are beyond him, and he in fact loathes this 'human weakness' and is trying, like in the anime and manga, to get rid of these feelings.

 

This is not AU, but it is ATL, so I do realize Kagura kidnapping Rin, Inu breaking Naraku's barrier, and him and Sess kicking his ass followed Naraku fleeing to Mt. Hakurei, but this is an alternate time line.

 

Also, many of you (me included lol) have a terrible memory...cause I realized after re-reading my own fic (how sad is that?) that I actually told you guys exactly what Kagura will have to do with Kikyou's 'new body' in a previous Ch! So much for suspense lol.

 

Someone asked about mating. In this fic, and IMO...youkai can take whoever they please, and not mark them as their mates. You don't honestly believe Sess is a virgin, do you? I mean...he's centuries old! BUT he doesn't have a mate. So I think they can and in fact do, take as many partners as they please. They would only mark their 'chosen one'. Too cliche'd, I know, but hey it works for me. I try not to write too much cliche'd stuff, but it came out this way. I will not however write 'marking rituals' as most authors do. It's going to be more than biting. It's an union of body and soul (insert CORN here), not just...well, rutting. Yes, Inu is a virgin (he was sealed for 50 years, and only then his sexual urges awakened...and he was confused about this, that's in Ch 1)

 

And like I said, Naraku has no interest whatsoever in this, so worry not! Also, like I keep saying, there will be no more Inu/Kik here, and NO RAPE of any kind. Hot lemons and lime, definetely! But you'll have to wait for that! (insert evil laughter here).

I think I'll stop boring you to tears now. Thanks for reading! And onegai review!

 

AN's were long...but I haven't posted in a long time, so I guess it's ok, ne? *cowers*

Thank you all for supporting this fic and especially to those who keep R&R'ing! Keep it up guys! I'm so grateful to all of you! I'm sorry if I sounded too bitchy before...not in a good mood today...

 

Forgive This YM! Until next week! Sayonara! Love, ramen and pocky to you all!

YM