InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Memories Are All That We Have Left ❯ Mourning ( Chapter 3 )

Kagome woke to the sound of a telephone ringing somewhere in the distance. Sitting up, she rubbed her head and slowly opened her eyes. The phone was still ringing. Sighing, Kagome stood and ran out of her room and downstairs to the kitchen. No one else was going to answer it.

Sango's voice greeted her, but it didn't sound like it always did; happy and cheerful. It sounded like it was laced with sadness. “Hey, Kagome. Are you okay?”

Why wouldn't she be okay? “Yeah, Sango. What's up?”

Sango sounded surprised. “You mean, you didn't hear?”

“Hear what?”

The line was silent for a few moments, and Kagome could hear muffled sobs, followed by a deep, soothing voice. The phone was taken away from Sango, and Miroku's voice reverberated through the line. “Inuyasha was in a crash last night.”

Kagome's eyes widened. “Is he okay?”

Again, silence.

“Miroku? Please tell me he's okay!”

“Kagome…I'm afraid that he's not okay…”

Tears were filling her eyes. “He has to be!”

“Kagome…” Miroku's voice trailed off, and she could tell that he was crying. “Kagome,” he started again. “Inuyasha died.”

The tears that threatened to take over suddenly did, and they were spilling out of Kagome's burning eyes freely. “No! He can't be dead! He can't!” She slid down the wall with the phone, the cord tangling around her arm as she did, and almost cutting off her circulation. She didn't care. “When did this happen?” she choked between sobs.

“Last night, after he dropped you off.”

Sobs wracked her body, and she could barely get out what else she wanted to say. “W…With who?”

“Kouga.”

Kagome gasped. “Is Kouga okay?” She wouldn't be able to take it if both had died.

“Yeah.” Miroku said, bitterness lacing his voice. “He's fine. Not a scratch on him. He was drunk, you know.”

Kagome's eyes were starting to get swollen, but still, she cried. “Drunk?” It was almost a whisper.

“It was his fault.” Miroku's handle on his anger was slipping. “His fault! Inuyasha wouldn't have died if Kouga hadn't been drunk!” The phone was taken away from Miroku, and again, Kagome heard Sango's voice. “Kagome, we've got to go. Do you want to meet us at my house, or should we meet you at yours?”

Kagome sniffed, the tears falling silently now. “Would you meet me here?” she asked.

“Sure, Kagome.” Sango said, and then hung up.

Kagome remained on the floor until the doorbell rang. She didn't know how long it had been, but it didn't matter. How could Inuyasha be dead? After she had waited so long to be with him, so long to touch him, to be touched by him, and now he was gone! How? Why? Kagome couldn't bring herself to get off the floor. She wanted to stay there forever, maybe be sucked into it and just lay in the fetal position for the rest of eternity. The same questions kept echoing through her mind. And denial.

Maybe Sango and Miroku are just pulling my leg. She thought hopefully. Maybe when they get here and I open the door, Inuyasha will jump out at me and say `Ha ha, got ya!' Sniffing and wiping vigorously at her wet cheeks and eyes, she held on tightly to that one small hope, even though she knew it wasn't a joke. She stood and walked slowly to the front door, where two figures waited on her doorstep. When Kagome opened the door, Sango smiled a grim, forced smile at her and wrapped her in a tight embrace. Kagome stood shakily in Sango's arms, looking out at the scenery, hoping to catch a glimpse of Inuyasha.

When Sango released her, Miroku stepped up and hugged her tightly. When his hands remained on her back and didn't wander, she knew that it wasn't a joke.

How could it be so bright and warm outside when someone she loved so dearly had died? Kagome could see people commuting to and from work, walking their dogs, laughing kids running around, playing tag or other games, and she felt her heart clench. How could people go on living their normal lives, when someone so important had passed away? What was wrong with them? Didn't they see that things would never be the same? Didn't they see that now that one person could never act out on his dreams and possibilities? Why didn't they see that?

She was still staring at the people, a dark glitter in her eyes, when Miroku released her, and he and Sango led her into the house.

When they were situated in Kagome's living room, they just sat in silence. What was there to say? They were all too deep in grief to try to comfort one another.

Miroku spoke first. “His funeral's on Wednesday.” Kagome nodded, fresh tears rolling down her still damp cheeks. That was two days after graduation. She sobbed harder when she realized that she wouldn't be going to the same college as him, and they wouldn't be able to get the same summer jobs. So many things would be different now.

Sango was sitting beside her, staring at nothing. All of a sudden, she broke down and began to sob openly, falling off of the couch and onto her knees. “Why?” she wailed. “Why?” Kagome slid off of the couch and kneeled next to Sango, wrapping her arms around her tightly and pulling her closer to her.

“It'll be okay.” She soothed. “We'll find a way to get around this.” But even as the words passed her lips, she wasn't so sure that they were true.

 

 

***Three days later***

 

 

Kouga watched Kagome from afar. Her head was down, and she was walking slowly to Sango's car. It looked like she was weeping. Kouga's heart clenched. It was his fault that she was this way. What could he do to fix it?

Kagome's shoulders began to shake, and she looked around to find a bench. She didn't think that she could make it to Sango's car without collapsing. Spotting a small white bench a couple feet away, she scurried to it and collapsed upon it, the sobs overtaking her. She knew that she shouldn't have come to school today. It was still too painful.

Her mother had tried to convince her to stay home today. She had said that Sango and Miroku could come over and they could mourn together, mope around the house for a couple of days. But Kagome had decided to be strong and try to tough it out. Now she knew it was a mistake. Tomorrow she wouldn't make the same one.

She just couldn't handle the sorrowful glances that were sent her way, the pitiful hugs that she received, the words that were meant to be soothing, but stung her to the core, like salt poured on a wound. People tried to be nice, but it just hurt her more. Couldn't they see that? Mourning was a process that couldn't be helped along! They were just making it harder, making it worse! Couldn't they see that? Kagome knew they meant well, but she still wished that they would just leave her alone for a couple of days. None of them were mourning like she was, except for maybe Sango and Miroku. They were the only ones that understood her, and they knew that she didn't want to be soothed so they didn't try. Why couldn't others follow their example?

Kagome sighed and stood again, this time making it to Sango's car without trouble. Sango was there waiting, and Miroku wasn't far behind.

“You guys?” Kagome asked softly. “Do you want to come to my house tomorrow instead of coming to school?”

Sango looked to Miroku, and they both nodded, recognizing the pressure that they had all been under that day.

Kagome was the first to be dropped off at her house. “Meet me here tomorrow morning at seven.” She said. Then, she waved goodbye and started up the walk, throwing a “Thanks, you guys.” Over her shoulder.

Later that night while she lay in bed, she reflected on what had happened since the night she had given herself to him. Anger followed her thoughts.

Why did he let himself die? Kagome asked herself, anger igniting in her still open eyes. He knew that I love him, and still, he let himself die! Maybe it didn't mean as much to him as it did to me. Tears began to flow, but since she was lying down, they fell out of the corner of her eyes and down her face, to pool in the shell of her ear. It was a strange feeling, but she couldn't stop herself from crying, or bring herself to turn onto her stomach.

Then, guilt hit her full force. How could she be thinking this way? He had probably tried to hold on. His last thoughts were probably of her, and what had transpired that night. He had probably thought that he was going to live.

Kagome sniffed loudly, and rolled into the fetal position.

 

***Kagome's Dream***

 

Kagome was in the passenger seat beside Inuyasha, grinning and playfully punching him on the arm. He grinned and looked away from the road, to her still smiling face. That smile was frozen on her face, as she looked on at fear, as another car came roaring towards them, headlights blinding her. The next thing she knew, she was laying in the passenger's seat, struggling to open her eyes.

The car had toppled over, and was lying on the driver's side. Inuyasha's eyes were closed, and a thin trail of blood dripped down his face, like a dark red tear-drop. His beautiful silver hair was caked with blood, and it didn't look like he was breathing. Kagome looked down farther to see that both arms were bent at odd angles, and he was lying so limp that it looked as if he was sliding out of his seat.

Kagome had to close her eyes.

 

***End Dream***

 

Kagome woke up to find that tears were sliding down her cheeks. It must have been from the gruesome dream that she had had. Taking a deep breath, she sat up. Her room was still completely dark, but Kagome knew that she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Standing, she picked her way through her messy room to the bathroom that was connected to it.

She flicked on the light, and was blinded by the brightness of it. The car that was coming head-first into Inuyasha's in her dream flashed back to mind. When her eyes adjusted to the light, Kagome looked at herself in the mirror. She was a wreck. Dark bags lined her eyes, and her hair was in a poofy, fly-away mess. Her pajamas were rumpled and wrinkled, like she had been tossing and turning, which she rarely did. Sighing, Kagome rubbed her eyes wearily and turned off the light.

She felt like a zombie. If she couldn't make it through one day at school, how did she expect to make it through the rest of her life? People said that pain decreased as time went on, but it had been four days now, and it had only intensified! But people also said that to get to the best, you have to go to the worst. Well, this was definitely the worst. So what was the best going to be?

 

 

A/N: Ah, yes, pain and mourning. It isn't a very pleasant feeling. Next chapter, I'll try to make it longer, but there's no guarantee. I'll also try to put Sesshoumaru in and maybe a bit of the funeral too.

 

This week has been spring week, so that's why I've been able to update so often. I probably won't be able to stay up to such ungodly hours working on the fanfics, but I'll still update, so don't worry. It just might take a little while longer. Sorry about that!