InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Memories of you ❯ Chapter 20

Sango was concerned as Kagome went into her trance. Because she had come to accept the reality of the situation, Sango was dealing with the past better than Kagome had. True, it was heartbreaking but at the same time, Sango could see why it was significant. She could even understand why Kagome fought it all so hard. The pain of love and loss could be unbearable and at least on a subconscious level, Sango knew Kagome was in serious denial.

 

Sango also knew her best friend well enough to know that the attraction for Inuyasha was there but she wasn't sure if Kagome still felt love for him. Sango knew from experience that these memories came with tremendous guilt. She and Miroku had been talking about how to deal and while Sango was grateful for his wisdom, it still didn't keep the guilt from sneaking into her heart.

 

Sango's thoughts were interrupted by Kagome's gasp. Sango couldn't help but wonder what was going on in Kagome's mind. Chikako was still chanting and Miroku sat silently next to Sango. Kagome's hand was burning up inside of Sango's and she could see a thin sheen of perspiration on Kagome's face. Resisting the temptation to wipe Kagome's face, Sango continued to watch her worriedly.

 

Without warning, Kagome released a bloodcurdling scream. Sango moved to awaken her but Miroku stopped her.

 

“You can't. She has to go through this.”

 

A stricken Sango looked at Miroku. She could only watch helplessly as her friend struggled and gasped for breath. As Kagome finally stopped gasping, for a moment Sango felt intense relief. In the space of a heartbeat, Sango suddenly realized that Kagome was no longer breathing. Scared and furious, Sango began to scream at Chikako.

 

“You bitch! What have you done? She's not breathing!”

 

Miroku grabbed Sango as she launched herself at Chikako. As she struggled vainly against Miroku's strong grip, Sango continued to rage.

 

“Kagome's not breathing! What have you done to her?”

 

ooOOoo

 

 

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru sat watching the unconscious group on the bed. The longer everyone was unresponsive, the more agitated Inuyasha became. Sesshomaru had long given up on trying to calm his brother. The best he could hope for was to at least keep him from transforming and potentially causing irreparable harm. He had a vague idea of what Chikako was up to, and he knew if the spell was broken, the person's mind was also broken. The broken person very seldom recovered.

 

Inuyasha' ears perked up when he heard Kagome gasp. Already on edge because he was not with Kagome, the gasp only served to heighten his fears. He could smell the anxiety come from the unconscious girl and he wondered what was she experiencing. Inuyasha raked his hands through his silvery hair. He was ready for this to just be over with.

 

Kagome's heart-rending scream split the quiet air of the room. Inuyasha felt his yokai pulse at the sound. He had only heard that scream once before…

 

`She's dying again! Oh, fuck no! She reliving her death again!'

 

Inuyasha jumped up but Sesshomaru grabbed him. Inuyasha's eyes began to bleed from gold to red as he listened helplessly to Kagome struggle to breathe.

 

“No! Let me go, Sesshomaru! I can't hear Kagome die again!”

 

Inuyasha tried to pull away from Sesshomaru. Inuyasha's yokai was making it hard for Sesshomaru to restrain him. Realizing that brute strength would be futile, Sesshomaru tried to use reason.

 

“If you break the trance, you'll break her. Kagome will never return to you! Is that what you want?”

 

Inuyasha continued to struggle. Sesshomaru repeated himself, this time the words seem to break through. As Inuyasha began to try and push his yokai down, both of the men realized they no longer heard the miko struggle to breath. Inuyasha stood so still that it gave Sesshomaru pause. Suddenly, Inuyasha's full yokai poured out. A nearly unrecognizable voice surged out for Inuyasha's mouth.

 

“I will not lose her again!”

 

ooOOoo

 

 

Kagome saw her new life flowing through her mind. She remembered her fifteenth birthday. The party and all her friends and family were there. She remembered her totally normal middle school years. She had been pretty, smart and popular. She remembered the day she got accepted in to the “A” level high school, it was the proudest day of her life. That was where she met her best friend, Sango. Those years past in a blur and graduation came next. Kagome saw herself giving the valedictorian speech to her class. She could see her mom, Jii-Chan and Souta. Kagome could also see Sango, who was smiling, too. Sango would be up next to give the salutatorian speech. Back in the crowd, she thought she saw a flash of silver but who could have silver hair?

 

`He came to my graduation? I didn't even know.'

 

She kept seeing him in different places. At the mall, school functions, while she was out with her friends. Kagome could feel her brain struggle with who he was. After a while, she dismissed it and went on with her life, buried the chance meetings away, gone but not forgotten.

 

`How could he let me go on all this time, not knowing, totally unaware of this whole part of me? Why not find me sooner?'

 

Kagome could hear Chikako whispering in her mind.

 

“Do you want to wake up and deal or just let it all go?”

 

Kagome was stunned. Let it all go? Did Chikako mean die again?

 

“Are you saying I'm dead again?”

 

Chikako responded. “Technically, yes. It is your decision to come back or not this time. Are you ready to deal with your reality or do you choose to continue to hide?”

 

Kagome sighed. She had questions she need answered, not to mention the guilt she felt for being alive in the first place. It would be so much easier to let this all go but she had never been a quitter and she had never run from anything. She wasn't going to start now.

 

“Take me back, Chikako. I'm ready.”

 

Kagome felt sudden warmth spread through her body and with a startled gasp, she sat up and opened her eyes. Kagome was stunned to find herself back in Inuyasha's bedroom. Sesshomaru was fighting with Inuyasha to keep him from the bed. His eyes were blood red and stripes were on his face. At the same time, she felt Sango grab her into a strong hug, sobbing at the same time.

 

“Kagome, you were dead! I saw you die again!”

 

Kagome hugged Sango, trying to console her. She hadn't realized that they would see the physical side of what she went through. Kagome still felt in shock about everything she could now remember clearly. She just wanted to go somewhere quiet and private and think. She could see that Miroku had gone to Sesshomaru and Inuyasha and they were talking in low voices. Kagome assumed he was telling his version of what happened. Chikako was packing her things. Kagome looked at Sango's tearstained face and using the covers from the bed, cleaned her cheeks.

 

“Sango, I'm fine.”

 

Sango hiccupped and sighed. “I know but it was so hard to see again. I remember you dying in the past. It was the hardest thing in the world to go through. When I saw it happen to you again, I just lost it.”

 

Kagome gave a slight smile. “I think we could all use a drink. I think I'm in shock and I'm just waiting to fall apart myself.”

 

Sango hugged her tight. “You are so entitled to fall apart.”

 

Kagome shook her head. “Drink now, fall apart later.”

 

Kagome moved to crawl off the bed but stopped when a low growl came across the room.

 

“Where do you think you are going?”

 

Kagome stopped and looked back at Inuyasha. His eyes were the normal amber but she could see the worry and anguish etched in his face.

 

“We need a drink.”

 

Before Inuyasha could reply, Sesshomaru interjected.

 

“I agree. I think everyone could use something.”

 

Inuyasha gave a barely perceptible nod. Moving over to the bed, he extended his hand to help Kagome up. She hesitated for a moment, and then took the extended hand. Feeling the warmth from his grasp and seeing the concern in his eyes only made Kagome feel guiltier about everything that had happened in the past. After all she had seen, Kagome knew she had a struggle ahead. She not only had to deal with Yuji but she also had to figure out how she really felt about Inuyasha.

 

Inuyasha could see and feel the anxiety around Kagome. He knew that by reliving her death, there were a lot of unanswered questions. Inuyasha had always thought he should have gone to Kagome sooner but he wanted her to have a normal life. Inuyasha knew she had never had the chance to just be a student or hang out with her friends. He felt she deserved a life without demons and jewels shards hanging over her head.

 

Now things had changed. It was barely noticeable but Inuyasha realized that Kagome saw him with different eyes. He could tell in her hesitation to take his hand. It was brief but it was there. Inuyasha knew they would have to get to the bottom of their own issues before the past could be truly behind them.